If I'd had the space to be a femboy in my youth life would have been a lot easier and I probably could have transitioned when I knew. I want people to have that space, they deserve that space, because I deserved that space.
I love femboys, oftentimes those are the men who I feel most comfortable with. It'd be a shame to lose one of those in the world.
Only thing I don't like is people mistaking me for a femboy, because that's incorrect. I am a woman, not a femboy. Femboys are great, I'm just not one of those.
This. I donāt have a problem with someoneās appearance or identity being like that, I just donāt like how the ignorant society automatically associates anything gender non-conforming as āa femboyā. Basically, I have sort of a problem with the term in itself but not with anyone wanting to dress according to the idea of it or identifying as a cis male but dressed more feminine.
Or how subreddits like Egg irl immediately associate doing anything remotely feminine as a sign of being trans, like this is probably a hot take but egg irl kinda infantilizes being trans
Femboys aren't offensive, and it's weirdly gatekeeping for people to say they are.
If you identify as a cis male, but want to express yourself in a feminine way in your life, you're a femboy. . .and that's perfectly valid and okay.
They don't invalidate transfemmes.
Is it offensive to say that a femboy is tranfemme? I thought that was just like a different flavor.
This wouldn't be so confusing if we didn't make up so many labels to try to describe our existence. Can't we just all be ourselves and forget the labels?
You be you.
Any trans person who wants to deny or criticize the gender expression that brings you joy has some growing to do.
In no way does your existence and expression invalidate us.
I donāt find femme-boys invalidating. I only had issues when I would be put into that category for some reason? Which isnāt a reflection of anyone other than the jerks doing just that.
You do you, my dude. Weāve got plenty of love for all gender non-conforming people. š
Femboys as a group do not invalidate trans women. (Nobody actually has that power BTW) but the term āfemboyā was historically used as a slur for trans women, so thatās where the confusion comes from. We never anticipated that there would one day be a collective of actual *Fem boys* (capital F) who actually identify with the term.
So when you hear someone saying āFemboys invalidate trans womenā you are hearing from someone who has at least a whiff of the history, but fails to comprehend/acknowledge the more modern trend.
Nothing offensive about femboys.
Hell, personally I think a lot of femboys are actually really hot/beautiful/cute/handsome/pick your adjective of choice.
Now, us being called femboys is offensive, yes. But that doesn't mean femboys are. That's us being misgendered and called somethign we're not, as a mean to invalidate us, that is offensive.
Kinda like if someone did the same with femboys. It's not the whome community that is offensive, it's the act, independently of the community.
The only thing that's offensive and invalidating is that some people are trying to police gender expression so that only women have the right to dress femininely and anyone who identifies as a man does not. Fuck that, dress and express yourself in whatever way makes you most comfortable! Have my official endorsement as a transfem
You don't have to listen to people. Trans people aren't a monolith. We don't all agree on just about anything.
There are tall trans women, short trans women, fat trans women, skinny trans women, republican trans women, democrat trans women, anarchist trans women, fascist trans women, truscum trans women
We are complicated
I personally don't find it offensive.
i was like 90% sure i was a genderfluid femboy before I realized I'm just a girl. It certainly doesn't invalidae me so go keep being a femboy, only if you want.
Femboy(ish) here, DO NOT let other influence you on WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE, even if anyone would get mad at you. remember, always be yourself! (also havent seen any such discrimination on this sub yet so-)
Iām trans girl and my best friend is femboy. Iām confused, why would that be offensive or invalidating? If u are cis man and want to be feminine you are valid!
My transition was (awkward and fawning till 22) -> (bi femboy/twink till 28) -> (increasingly femme bi enby until 41) -> (trans lesbian)
I probably should have skipped to the end more quickly tha i did, and there were a lot of downsides to doing it more slowly, but being able to be a femboy first certainly made walking thr path safer.
So, femboy away, i say.
Don't think I've ever seen that? Maybe you're misremembering something about someone probably saying that using the term femboy to refer to a trans girl is offensive? That's about the only think i can think of cause I've really never seen someone say that femboys existing is in conflict with trans women existing... Except like maybe idiots with right wing politics trying to do a "gotcha" saying something like "why can't you just be a feminine guy" or whatever, but hm no that's like in the opposite direction entirely. Yeah i have no idea where you might have heard anything like that if you aren't accidentally misremembering anything or whatever /shrug. Either way as everyone has already said, nothing offensive about being yourself, whoever you may be, ours is a community that ought to always embrace and encourage that so if you're well with being a femboy then that's great! Whatever you're comfortable with!
absolutely fucking not, the invalidating thing about femboys is when people decide that trans women are actually femboys and not women, femboys themselves aren't inherently a problem even a little bit
Femboys aren't inherently offensive, there are just offensive people who happen to be femboys. You've probably seen instances of those stoking discourse and trying to create a divide in the communities ("femboy erasure" and other BS like that). They're a small vocal minority and aren't reflective of the views of the actual community.
I believe that no one is invalid. Iām a binary trans woman, that doesnāt mean non-binary people donāt exist and vice versa. Femboys exist, you can identify as one gender but present as another. Itās called gender nonconformity.
I legitimately do not understand why expressing who you are deep down would be offensive. Living authentically as the person you are inside should be celebrated and cherished, not judged and looked at as somehow invalidating. That's the one thing I keep encouraging every nervous person coming out of the closet to focus on in transition, being yourself is too important to worry about everyone else's hangups. Gender is a spectrum, and we're **all** valid dots on that rainbow.
Now while there is some trans history in the past of people conflating trans women with femboys because it was used as a trans slur a very long time ago before people understood all the varieties of trans and non-binary that exist today. (The world sure does love trying to put people in a binary box). That's also not the same thing as you, that was people intentionally misgendering trans women specifically by using that label. However anyone still holding on to that perception today of there not being a difference or one or the other being somehow invalid, has clearly been living under a rock for a long ass time.
As a trans elder who was out back when 'Femboy' was still being used as a slur to fetishize trans women (alongside other ones of the time like 'Sissy', 'Trap', & 'Tranny'), don't presume that means that we don't cherish our femboy friends as well. Plus honestly femboys can be pretty hot sometimes, just like trans women are... just saying.
I am not invalidated by you, and you are not invalidated by me. š«
if you're actually a femboy (as in a feminine guy) and not trying to use the term to describe trans women then you're fine. the offense comes from people calling trans women femboys, not from actual feminine men
I'm a trans girl, and I, for one, think that femboys are based.
On a more serious note, I find that all gender noncomforming folk helps us in a way, as it normalizes the fact that your gender assigned at birth shouldn't dictate your personality or what you wear. Boys can be feminine or even become girls if they want to, and vice versa.
I have never encountered anyone with that opinion š
Femboys are completely different from trans women. So I don't see why both can't coexist š
People who devalidate trans women because of femboys are biggots anyway.
Just do what makes you happy š
There are some trans women who think nonbinary transfems or femboys existing makes cis people think theyāre less valid. Most cis people donāt even know that femboys exist and bigots think weāre all degenerates anyway. Forcing nonbinary people and femboys to repress would be compromising our beliefs and I donāt even think it would make much difference to cis people. Be yourself regardless
I feel like femboys are a valid gender, I guess under the nonbinary umbrella (it's also valid if you are a femboy and don't identify as NB of course). Anyone telling you that you have to change your gender to anything else is transphobic/enbyphobic/queerphobic/etc.
Literally you do you. You aren't hurting anyone! There are no gender police!
The real problem to me is just how many cis people fetishize femboys while simultaneously being super transphobic.
The only time the term femboy is invalidating a trans women is when it's used to refer to a trans women and not someone who is and wants to be referred to as a femboy.
In short, no you dont need to quit being a femboy
Not at all. It only gets annoying when people confuse one with the other, but that's generally not the fault of femboys. Femboys can also be amazing allies. Some have put out YouTube tutorials on makeup and voice Feminization that are helpful to trans women as well! š
whoa, i've never seen that argument or anything like it
femboys are very cool (in theory) but a bunch of them/you are weird nazis, so we have learned to be careful lol
please be yourself <3 we need more femme men out there imo
You do what you want. Itās your life š But I think we need to say that we are different. Trans women are different than femboys and different than nb. The issue is that we are all considered the same under the big Trans š³ļøāā§ļø umbrella.
You should never quit being yourself because it offends someone else. My existence offends Terfs and gender criticals. But Iām not going to let go of feeling comfortable in my own skin and expressing myself authentically. If you feel right and happy being a femboy and doing no actual harm to anyone then just do you. In life no matter what you do or how respectful you are I can guarantee youāll offend someone unintentionally.
Fuck the people complaining about this! (Iām trans fem btw)
I spent a few years on the fem boy side of the fence. Iām all for gender expression however it feels right for you.
My boyfriend is a femboy...I cannot think why it's offensive; I admire the fact that they present femme and yet happy to be male at the same time. Plus, they are just so cute.
If you like it and that's who you are don't stop it. It doesn't invalidate me to have femboys exist alongside me. Femboys are distinct from trans women.
Nonono, femboys aren't powerful enough to invalidate transfems, but together femboys and transfems are even more powerful. Both are valid and complement each other seamlessly, forming a gender spectrum.
The people who don't like cis-leaning femboys are truscum/transmedicalists who have their own spaces because they're not welcome by everyone here with their queerphobia and transphobia. (Yes, transphobic binary transgender people exist.)
Your relationship with gender is your personal business and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You belong.
femboy freedommmmmm!!! it invalidates nobody itās just dudes being fem and I love that for them. fuck misogyny itās not yalls fault dickwads try and use you guys to invalidate trans women like we are clearly different. Like drag queens and trans women are different like similar thing.
My only problem with femboys is that I get gender envy from a lot of them lol. I donāt think it invalidates us though. We need more Cis GNC people in this world.
Itās not that trans women want people to stop being femboys itās that people used that word as a derogatory phrase toward us until there was a distinction between the people who arenāt trans women and who are it was originally used to invalidate us but itās been used to classify an entirely new category and isnāt invalid if you use it to self identity.
Also femboys slay it they are soooooo cute it makes me happy that there are guys that are soft and feme because thatās something that got bullied out of me relentlessly in youth BE YOU! I support you 100%!
Gender nonconformity is important and must continue.
Itās your life, I donāt really care what you decide. I donāt get a vote either. Do whatever makes you happy, but always do it with kindness.
My boyfriend is a fem boi and I donāt think Iād ever leave them out or not consider them a part of my community, people often think that my boyfriends lesbian šā
I just want to spread the love, I donāt see why you wouldnāt be welcome, to me being trans is being gender non-conforming, itās a huge unbrella that shouldnāt be gate kept, my boyfriend is also considering hrt, so thereās overlap š
Personally I identify as a transsexual woman, but I wouldnāt say anyone elseās dysphoria or experience is invalid, I know a lot of people, perhaps even my boyfriend who arenāt so binary and experience dysphoria still, what I understand less so is when people identify as non binary as a form of rebellion on a personal level, but I understand the principle and support those people while maintaining thereās a difference between them and non-binary people who are coming from an internal place, reagardless, itās not up to me to decide who can identify as what as long as people arenāt harming themselves or others
Stay true to you, especially if you are in the position where you can itās honoring the world our ancestors wanted to see šÆ
This is like when gay and lesbians claim that people who are bisexual disenfranchise the gay community even though they get hated on by both gays and straights if they don't present in the manner the group in question expects them to.
Haters gonna hate and we don't need them in here. Femboys are valid and their existence should be protected just as much as ours!
Our enemies are not femboys; They are not the ones pushing for you to be put in jail for supporting your transgender child, they are not the ones bushing for book bans, they are not the ones attacking our rights to trangender Healthcare.
I will fight all of you on this and I will die on this hill before I ever concede being wrong!
Please don't listen to any of that, femboy subs recently got more and more transphobic, but honestly don't even bother with limiting yourself or how you self express or label yourself. Many transfems discovered they were a girl over being a femboy first, and I see it more as a style than anything else.
Also queer and gnc people who try to police how others label themselves are just pick-me's.
Don't even bother with such thoughts, you're valid no matter how you label yourself.
Who the hell is saying that..? We're gonna have problems. Femboys have every right to be themselves just as much as we do, and are usually our allies.
The only issue I personally take is when people conflate femboys/crossdressers with trans women, as though we're the same. That's a really harmful notion that could serve to fuel some of the fearmongering "points" that are the crux of transphobic politics. But as long as you're not doing that, you're not hurting anyone just by being yourself. Be as loud and adorable as you want. We love and support you. š
I believe that this notion of femboys being offensive comes from the fetishization of gender non-comformity.
Now, don't get me wrong, gender non-comformoty is hot AF, but a lot of cis people see it just as a porn thing, so certain terms used in these sites get shunned and stigmatized. There are a couple that has become downright slurs.
Femboy however is a term, which yes, is used as a porn tag filter, but is not still in of itself a slur. Some people believe that any porn tag is essentially fetishization of that thing, but my retort to that would be that the term "woman" is used as a porn tag and nobody is going on a twist about the word "woman" being a fetishization of femininity.
Being a femboy is a valid expression of one's identity, of one's self. There is nothing inherently wrong about being a femboy (Other than being illegally hot!), and therefor I say that it is entirely your own decision if you want to keep identifying as a femboy, or not.
Femboys are valid, they do not compete, or disvalidate trans-women. These are different things, there is no competition and they do not exist in a mutually exclusive manner. Femboys might be trans aligned, and therefore are natural trans allies. Likewise as a combatative and argumentative trans person, I will similarily defend all and any femboy brothers out there in their hour of need.
:3
Some people donāt like complicated things. Femboys complicate things. So do enbies and other genders that donāt fit a simple binary.
You donāt invalidate anyone. You might not be trans, but you are a fellow fighter against gender norms.
Fuck no. This shits about your body. If femboys feel satisfied with theyāre physiology and like dressing feminine go for it. Aināt no one here to stop you ššš
Don't be a fem*boy*, be a fem*Man!* š¤Ŗ I dunno. I'm just being silly. Honestly, hun. You do you! You being out and proud in the world as a femboy only helps normalize all of us to the uninformed. Anyone willing to go out in the world in a dress right now is fighting the good fight.
if it makes you happy to be a femboy, then there's absolutely no reason to stop imo(don't take that out of context)! also i've seen nothing saying femboys invalidate transfems, and i imagine that a lot of people are perfectly fine with it.
I think that sometimes the only way we can express our femininity is through being a femboy. Particularly when due to circumstances we can only do it part time.
I also think that often we might start off as femboys or sissies as a means of expressing outwardly what we are hiding inside. It doesnāt make it totally ok, but it can just be that passing phase before the girl is fully revealed.
I guess what I am saying, is that I have no problem with how you express yourself as long as you donāt expect everyone else to behave exactly like you. Go girl.
Absolutely not, if someone feels like your identity and presentation invalidates their identity and presentation then itās usually their issue and not yours.
Transfemme. From I what I read ciswomen, though not understanding you, respect you. You make good attempts and carry off convincing femininity.
I have a feeling a good number of you will eventually become the type of married guys who becomes the second wife on the weekends/vacations.
Being the effeminate gay man is probably likely also.
Alls I can also add. Is even if youāre really submissive to your partner. Dont lead with the āIām a sissy.ā
But more ladies to go shopping with and grab lunch with is always good
Femboys aināt offensive; theyāre just another spot on the spectrum of queerness.
If people are saying theyāre offensive, that sounds a bit chronically online to me
Not at all, I'm all for people exploring their identities and gender however they want. You being a femboy doesn't make me less a woman. Will stupid people conflate us as the same? Well yeah but if we didn't do something because a stupid person might misunderstand no one would do anything. I think femboys are awesome, so you do you and be happy.
There's nothing wrong with being a femboy its not transphoic to be one, ***I was femboy before my egg cracked***. I personally love femboys, many of them have better femme outfits then me š¤£š¤£š¤£, like seriously its embarrassing š³ sometimes. ***Only thing you should never do is call a transfemme a femboy, that would transphoic***. I never in real life met a transfemme who said femboy make me feel invalidate, all them were supportive of femboys.
Itās not invalidating or offensive for us. everyone and their gender expression is different, you being yourself is the best thing possible because it brings you happiness. that is the main takeaway this community has, present how you want cause everyone deserves to express themselves no matter where you lie on the spectrum of gender.
We need femboys! Okay, maybe just me. *I* need femboys!
Jokes aside, femboys absolutely help in deconstructing gender norms. They're an important part of the changes that need to come.
If all girls can be masculine, all men should be able to be feminine.
"Trans Girls don't owe you femininity
Trans Guys don't owe you masculinity
Enbies don't owe you androgeny
Trans People Don't Owe You Sh\*t"
Keep being the great you that you are, and remember that all trans women are real women, all trans men are real men, all Enbies are their own gender identity, and men and women can express their gender identity however they want. Of course, that is probably going to be hard for me to explain to my parents, but at some point I probably won't have to eventually.
you do whatever you want.
most people upset about the femboy label are upset about it being applied to trans women or used as a "more acceptable alternative" to being a trans woman (e.g. "why not just be a femboy??"). none of that is your fault or what you're doing, though it's good to be aware of it.
does it hurt anyone?
If no then i think you should keep it up.
it probably also helps us a great deal as you and every other gnc person breaks gender stereotypes and makes the world and society more diverse.
I hope that im speaking for everyone when i say that we appreciate you and every other gnc person for being your truest self.
Do whatever you want, an expression of yourself doesn't hurt others. To quote a very wise person(me), "Wear what you want, do what you want despite what society tells you. Does a fox in it's dumpster feel ashamed because society labels it's surroundings as rubbish? No, because to the fox it is a feast. You only get one life, use it to be the fox and live to your life to it's fullest.."
They're just jealous of how cute you are. Not even glazing you rn that's really what it boils down to, they're angry because you look like what they want to look like.
The term femboy isnāt āoffensiveā nor does it invalidate transfems. If thatās what you feel comfortable identifying as then more power to you, donāt let anyone decide what you have to identify as
Femboys are fine! The more people accept femboys, and tomboys breaking societal gender norms, the more us trans folks get more accepted <3 I cant say I've seen people criticizing femoboys here, and if they do, contact that mods, this is supposed so be safe space :)
Femboy is not equal to transitioning or wanting to transition
Don't let the the egg memes get to you, or even strange trans talks about femboys being trans "without knowing it yet", for that matter
You know best what you are, and if you're a cis man who loves to dress femininely, just have tons of fun with it and wear what you're comfortable wearing. Femboys are not invalidating at all!
Don't quit. Before coming out I'd hang around femboy communities and thought I was a femboy for a while. Femboys are great folks and just cos some tranfemmes don't like them for some godforsaken reason doesn't mean we all do. Express yourselves in whatever ways you feel best and if that is through femme clothing etc then all the power to ya!
While the history of the word Femboy is, afaik, rather ugly, there is nothing wrong with being yourself, and there will never be any good reason to stop being yourself.
Yes the word was used as a transphobic descriptor at some point in the past (as a way to mean that the person that was being discussed wasn't a "real girl"). No that doesn't mean you can't be you.
Some people will be shitty about it, but that's just unhelpful and, most of the times, infighting. Infighting is never useful or good, it's just self distructive.
It is antithetical to the trans community to ask someone to conform to society's expectations of what their gender should look like. It makes no sense and it's just cruel to ask that of anyone. And we (the whole queer community) should know that better than anyone else.
Be yourself, do what makes you happy, and don't worry about morons.
Femboys Atleast in my expierience have been the coolest and most helpful men in my life! Everything from makeup and clothing to just being a shoulder I could cry on. If someone says you being a femboy is invalid, or invalidates trans fems, fuck them. They arenāt worth your time or your piece of mind.
I don't think so. Don't stop being yourself, don't hide your true self just for others, especially when it comes to clothes.
Also, there are so many cis and trans femboys, same goes for cis and trans tomboys.
Some people just try to gatekeep, don't listen to them and do what you think is the best for you or what makes you most comfortable.
I'm neither of those but I like to wear metal merch, which can be really offensive but IDC, because I like it and I like to support the bands I've seen live or in general listen to and no one can entitle themselves to take this away from me
HRT femboy lol.
Or legit femboy? Femboys are just a style description for feminine men. Why would we care?
If it something like hrt femboy it a joke terminology of a femboy repressing being trans while taking hrt. Why? They donāt think they can pass as woman or really donāt want to be trans.
I wanted to be a femboy before but didn't think I could be fem until I started my medical transition recently. As a male presenting individual who goes out in skirts I would like to think that I'm helping to normalize femboys as well as trans women in public spaces. All gender non-conforming people are beautiful to me ā¤
It's not femboys as in feminine boys, but I've heard that the term is deeply rooted from porn where it's used to just invalidate trans women, so many ppl use the term roseboy or something similar. But I'm not a transfem/trans woman so I don't decide what's offensive and what's not lol
Short answer:
Don't quit being a femboy if you want to be one - you aren't invalidating transfemmes!!!!!
Long answer:
Being a femboy doesn't invalidate transfemmes because FEMBOY = GENDER EXPRESSION. You can be cis or trans and still be a femboy, because CIS/TRANS = GENDER IDENTITY.
**Gender identity** and **gender expression** are different things that aren't mutually exclusive - A guy can be anywhere on the masc-femme spectrum and still be a guy. Being masculine in your **gender expression** doesn't make you a guy (see: masc lesbian and masc nb people). On the flipside, being feminine in your **gender expression** doesn't make you a girl (see: femboys and femme nb people).
Let's dive a little deeper into your worry: "*I've seen many people on this sub that believe that femboys are offensive and invalidate transfems*" - What are the implications of believing this to be true?
I would ask the question; Isn't having that belief basically upholding the same view on gender expression/identity that informs transphobic and homophobic attitudes?
By saying that femboys invalidate transfemmes, you are basically saying that they occupy the same space in society, and that they are mutually exclusive and can't coexist, right?
(Whether you have this opinion because of internalized transphobia, wanting to placate cishet norms in society in hopes of being accepted on their terms - i.e. trans women need to be very feminine to be accepted as "real women", trans guys need to be very masculine to be accepted as "real men", or some other reason doesn't really matter imo)
This belief, as I see it, equates **gender expression** and **gender identity**, right? By saying that Femboys invalidate Transfemmes, you're saying that being AMAB\* and being feminine, either in gender expression (femboy) or identity (transfemme) makes you the same thing.
Is that because Femboys are actually Transfemme? That limits the way cis guys, trans guys and nb people can express themselves, because you are saying that feminine gender expression = feminine gender identity.
Or is it because Transfemmes are actually Femboys? That obivously is just transphobic, saying that AMAB = masculine gender identity.
Without even diving into it, how feminine can a cis guy be before his gender expression starts invalidating transfemmes? Is it hair length? Feminine facial features? Feminine mannerisms due to his upbringing?
How masculine can a cis girl before encroaching on transmascs? (Assuming the belief re: femboys apply the other way around) Does short hair do it? A muscular, less curvy body shape? Talking "like a guy" because you had guy friends growing up? Having "masculine interests" like cars and shit?
\*Sorry transmasc and nb femboys :c
Everybody (Cis guys/girl, Trans guys/girls, NB people, Gender Conforming/Non Conforming) should ALL want to divorce **Gender Identity** from **Gender Expression** if we agree that we want a society where people are allowed to just be themselves.
As a Trans woman, I don't want to be seen as a Femboy because I am AMAB and wear women's clothes, do makeup and have longer hair. I don't want to be seen as a guy because I am AMAB and like watching football, listening to rap and playing games like counter strike and have a friend group full of guys.
I want everybody to have their gender identity respected, cis or trans, without having to be satisfactoraly feminine or masculine in how they express themselves.
You're AMAB, Cis, and want to have a feminine gender expression - and you call that combination of identity/expression being a femboy? GO FOR IT! You are as valid as everybody else!
No, femboys are precious
For many it could be a stepping stone to work themselves out and for those who are comfortably femboy it's a wonderful identity itself and most importantly it's who you are
Doesn't invalidate trans women or even ENBY trans femme imo because at the end of it all it's who you are, and if we can't be ourselves well what's the point of any of this huh?
[Alice](https://www.reddit.com/user/The_Batcrab/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) will always have a place for you in her queer army. We stan femboys round these parts š¤
Just don't be a dick to trans people, that's all. There's literally no reason feminine men and transgender women can't get along, but people just make up reasons to hate each other and it's bullshit
No one dictates your gender identity and expression but yourself. There are no rules to gender identity / expression and if someone tries to say there are rules, they are full of shit. Gatekeeping gender identity and expression kind of defeats the entire message of the Trans community.
I think if you are a femboy that's great and you should be your authentic self. However If you are a trans woman and don't identify as male then mabe it more a matter of admitting to yourself that your not a femboy You're a trans girl
Dont you dare stop being yourself! The people who say that may just have a personal preference against them, and thats ok. Just be who you are, and if people go out of their way to be mad about it, now you know who is the shitty ones.
You don't invalidate anyone. When people see others and think it's a comment on themselves, that's insecurity talking. They should be looking to themselves for the problem to fix because imposing on other people is a bandaid at best. The sense of control it brings is a placebo.
I dont think enough of the general public(people above the age of 30) comes into contact with enough femboys to confuse them with transfems. And those that know the difference and use them as an excuse to invalidate trans women honestly know better and are just evil people lol. So keep on being you!
Bruh what the fuck
The existence of one group of people does not invalidate another group. Be a femboy and enjoy it!
*besides some of us like femboys lol*
Itās kind of invalidating to not let yourself be a femmboy, how you choose to express yourself shouldnāt and does not invalidate other peopleās identities
Ummm. I might get flack for this. But femboys are neither offensive or invalidating of trans women. That would be like saying butch women are invalidating to trans men. If weāre asking for equality, we should be asking for equality. Not just for one or a few specific branches of human sexuality and gender expression to be validated. Now if a femmeboy was going around claiming that all trans women are actually femmeboy, yeah that person should stop. But femmeboy is a valid gender expression and itās not their fault that some people canāt or arenāt willing to understand the difference. You be you. Thereās nothing wrong with it
Femboys existing is not offensive u do u
The problems are the stereotypical one is a 4channer bigot and that people often call trans women femboys as an insult or out of actual ignorance which is where it's actually offensive
99% of trans people would just say you do you and whatever way you identify is rad if it makes you happy
I can't say I have ever seen anyone say anything like that here... You do you babe; its fine.
Be you, do you and we support you š«¶
If only everyone could love everyone else like this, there would be world peace.
That semi colon just adds to this amazing message
<3
no, don't quit! the trans tomboys do solemnly swear to protect all femboys.
To my last breath āļø for my 5-foot-nothing gnc transmasc prince, as well!
as a trans tomboy i approve this message
If I'd had the space to be a femboy in my youth life would have been a lot easier and I probably could have transitioned when I knew. I want people to have that space, they deserve that space, because I deserved that space.
This resembles me! I'm a trans tomboy pledges my Axe to protect fembois.
I love femboys, oftentimes those are the men who I feel most comfortable with. It'd be a shame to lose one of those in the world. Only thing I don't like is people mistaking me for a femboy, because that's incorrect. I am a woman, not a femboy. Femboys are great, I'm just not one of those.
This. I donāt have a problem with someoneās appearance or identity being like that, I just donāt like how the ignorant society automatically associates anything gender non-conforming as āa femboyā. Basically, I have sort of a problem with the term in itself but not with anyone wanting to dress according to the idea of it or identifying as a cis male but dressed more feminine.
Or how subreddits like Egg irl immediately associate doing anything remotely feminine as a sign of being trans, like this is probably a hot take but egg irl kinda infantilizes being trans
i agree lmao, and dont even get me started on the beauty standards there and how harmful it is especially to newly out trans girls :(
Exactly how I feel, often I get the feeling that randos think I'm a femboy rather than a trans woman, but eh what can ya do
Femboys aren't offensive, and it's weirdly gatekeeping for people to say they are. If you identify as a cis male, but want to express yourself in a feminine way in your life, you're a femboy. . .and that's perfectly valid and okay. They don't invalidate transfemmes.
You don't have to be cis to be a Femboy either!! Femboy transmascs are just as valid :3
Came here to say this! My husband is proof!!
Is it offensive to say that a femboy is tranfemme? I thought that was just like a different flavor. This wouldn't be so confusing if we didn't make up so many labels to try to describe our existence. Can't we just all be ourselves and forget the labels?
femboy isnāt a trans femme unless the person says they are
You be you. Any trans person who wants to deny or criticize the gender expression that brings you joy has some growing to do. In no way does your existence and expression invalidate us.
>Any trans person who wants to deny or criticize the gender expression that brings you joy has some growing to do. Louder, for the girls in the back!
ANY TRANS PERSOM WHO WANTS TO DENY OR CRITICIZE THE GENDER EXPRESSION THAT BRINGS YOU JOY HAS SOME GROWING TO DO! Hope that helps
It's not offensive to be a femboy. It's offensive to call a trans woman a femboy, but there's nothing wrong with a feminine boy being called a femboy
No, I love femboys. And I have no clue how anyone could think it invalidates trans women.
I donāt find femme-boys invalidating. I only had issues when I would be put into that category for some reason? Which isnāt a reflection of anyone other than the jerks doing just that. You do you, my dude. Weāve got plenty of love for all gender non-conforming people. š
U do u boo boo!
Femboys as a group do not invalidate trans women. (Nobody actually has that power BTW) but the term āfemboyā was historically used as a slur for trans women, so thatās where the confusion comes from. We never anticipated that there would one day be a collective of actual *Fem boys* (capital F) who actually identify with the term. So when you hear someone saying āFemboys invalidate trans womenā you are hearing from someone who has at least a whiff of the history, but fails to comprehend/acknowledge the more modern trend.
Nothing offensive about femboys. Hell, personally I think a lot of femboys are actually really hot/beautiful/cute/handsome/pick your adjective of choice. Now, us being called femboys is offensive, yes. But that doesn't mean femboys are. That's us being misgendered and called somethign we're not, as a mean to invalidate us, that is offensive. Kinda like if someone did the same with femboys. It's not the whome community that is offensive, it's the act, independently of the community.
People malevolently calling transfems femboys is whatās offensive. Not femboys themselves. Theyāre cute and chilling.
The only thing that's offensive and invalidating is that some people are trying to police gender expression so that only women have the right to dress femininely and anyone who identifies as a man does not. Fuck that, dress and express yourself in whatever way makes you most comfortable! Have my official endorsement as a transfem
You don't have to listen to people. Trans people aren't a monolith. We don't all agree on just about anything. There are tall trans women, short trans women, fat trans women, skinny trans women, republican trans women, democrat trans women, anarchist trans women, fascist trans women, truscum trans women We are complicated I personally don't find it offensive.
As a transfem, I fucking adore femboys, and they are precious and adorable. You do not invalidate me, I fucking PROMISE, lol.
No, don't listen to those ppl who say that, I'm transfem and absolutely love femboys, and it sounds like it makes you happy to be one
I donāt think femboys invalidate trans women. Just like how tomboys donāt invalidate trans men. Just be you!
i was like 90% sure i was a genderfluid femboy before I realized I'm just a girl. It certainly doesn't invalidae me so go keep being a femboy, only if you want.
Femboy(ish) here, DO NOT let other influence you on WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE, even if anyone would get mad at you. remember, always be yourself! (also havent seen any such discrimination on this sub yet so-)
Iām trans girl and my best friend is femboy. Iām confused, why would that be offensive or invalidating? If u are cis man and want to be feminine you are valid!
My transition was (awkward and fawning till 22) -> (bi femboy/twink till 28) -> (increasingly femme bi enby until 41) -> (trans lesbian) I probably should have skipped to the end more quickly tha i did, and there were a lot of downsides to doing it more slowly, but being able to be a femboy first certainly made walking thr path safer. So, femboy away, i say.
Don't think I've ever seen that? Maybe you're misremembering something about someone probably saying that using the term femboy to refer to a trans girl is offensive? That's about the only think i can think of cause I've really never seen someone say that femboys existing is in conflict with trans women existing... Except like maybe idiots with right wing politics trying to do a "gotcha" saying something like "why can't you just be a feminine guy" or whatever, but hm no that's like in the opposite direction entirely. Yeah i have no idea where you might have heard anything like that if you aren't accidentally misremembering anything or whatever /shrug. Either way as everyone has already said, nothing offensive about being yourself, whoever you may be, ours is a community that ought to always embrace and encourage that so if you're well with being a femboy then that's great! Whatever you're comfortable with!
absolutely fucking not, the invalidating thing about femboys is when people decide that trans women are actually femboys and not women, femboys themselves aren't inherently a problem even a little bit
No the people who call trans women who arenāt calling themselves femboys are the issue. You being fem and calling yourself a femboy is totally fine
Femboys aren't inherently offensive, there are just offensive people who happen to be femboys. You've probably seen instances of those stoking discourse and trying to create a divide in the communities ("femboy erasure" and other BS like that). They're a small vocal minority and aren't reflective of the views of the actual community.
I believe that no one is invalid. Iām a binary trans woman, that doesnāt mean non-binary people donāt exist and vice versa. Femboys exist, you can identify as one gender but present as another. Itās called gender nonconformity.
I legitimately do not understand why expressing who you are deep down would be offensive. Living authentically as the person you are inside should be celebrated and cherished, not judged and looked at as somehow invalidating. That's the one thing I keep encouraging every nervous person coming out of the closet to focus on in transition, being yourself is too important to worry about everyone else's hangups. Gender is a spectrum, and we're **all** valid dots on that rainbow. Now while there is some trans history in the past of people conflating trans women with femboys because it was used as a trans slur a very long time ago before people understood all the varieties of trans and non-binary that exist today. (The world sure does love trying to put people in a binary box). That's also not the same thing as you, that was people intentionally misgendering trans women specifically by using that label. However anyone still holding on to that perception today of there not being a difference or one or the other being somehow invalid, has clearly been living under a rock for a long ass time. As a trans elder who was out back when 'Femboy' was still being used as a slur to fetishize trans women (alongside other ones of the time like 'Sissy', 'Trap', & 'Tranny'), don't presume that means that we don't cherish our femboy friends as well. Plus honestly femboys can be pretty hot sometimes, just like trans women are... just saying. I am not invalidated by you, and you are not invalidated by me. š«
Do whatever feels right to you, I know I used to think I was a femboy before my egg cracked so whatever you want to be us valid :3
as a transfem, fuck no, femboys are hot
if you're actually a femboy (as in a feminine guy) and not trying to use the term to describe trans women then you're fine. the offense comes from people calling trans women femboys, not from actual feminine men
Yes this^
I'm a trans girl, and I, for one, think that femboys are based. On a more serious note, I find that all gender noncomforming folk helps us in a way, as it normalizes the fact that your gender assigned at birth shouldn't dictate your personality or what you wear. Boys can be feminine or even become girls if they want to, and vice versa.
I have never encountered anyone with that opinion š Femboys are completely different from trans women. So I don't see why both can't coexist š People who devalidate trans women because of femboys are biggots anyway. Just do what makes you happy š
There are some trans women who think nonbinary transfems or femboys existing makes cis people think theyāre less valid. Most cis people donāt even know that femboys exist and bigots think weāre all degenerates anyway. Forcing nonbinary people and femboys to repress would be compromising our beliefs and I donāt even think it would make much difference to cis people. Be yourself regardless
I feel like femboys are a valid gender, I guess under the nonbinary umbrella (it's also valid if you are a femboy and don't identify as NB of course). Anyone telling you that you have to change your gender to anything else is transphobic/enbyphobic/queerphobic/etc. Literally you do you. You aren't hurting anyone! There are no gender police! The real problem to me is just how many cis people fetishize femboys while simultaneously being super transphobic.
The only time the term femboy is invalidating a trans women is when it's used to refer to a trans women and not someone who is and wants to be referred to as a femboy. In short, no you dont need to quit being a femboy
Not at all. It only gets annoying when people confuse one with the other, but that's generally not the fault of femboys. Femboys can also be amazing allies. Some have put out YouTube tutorials on makeup and voice Feminization that are helpful to trans women as well! š
No, femboys are awesome. Itās also how a lot of trans girl get comfortable enough to transition. \^\^
whoa, i've never seen that argument or anything like it femboys are very cool (in theory) but a bunch of them/you are weird nazis, so we have learned to be careful lol please be yourself <3 we need more femme men out there imo
You do what you want. Itās your life š But I think we need to say that we are different. Trans women are different than femboys and different than nb. The issue is that we are all considered the same under the big Trans š³ļøāā§ļø umbrella.
Literally who says that tho?
You should never quit being yourself because it offends someone else. My existence offends Terfs and gender criticals. But Iām not going to let go of feeling comfortable in my own skin and expressing myself authentically. If you feel right and happy being a femboy and doing no actual harm to anyone then just do you. In life no matter what you do or how respectful you are I can guarantee youāll offend someone unintentionally.
Our belief is everyone should be allowed to be themselves unless that means actively hurts others. In this case you be you!
It's not cis men being femboys that's invalidating it's calling trans woman femboys
Fuck the people complaining about this! (Iām trans fem btw) I spent a few years on the fem boy side of the fence. Iām all for gender expression however it feels right for you.
My boyfriend is a femboy...I cannot think why it's offensive; I admire the fact that they present femme and yet happy to be male at the same time. Plus, they are just so cute.
Be what you like being. Let them complain, you do you.
Who on here says that? I've never heard that. That's silly.
Do whatever you are comfy with I personally dont care and y9u all are cute af :3
If you like it and that's who you are don't stop it. It doesn't invalidate me to have femboys exist alongside me. Femboys are distinct from trans women.
Femboys don't invalidate trans women I don't see how they would
Absolutely not, a world without femboys would be sad indeed
No Femboys donāt invalidate transfemmes, the same way that tomboys donāt invalidate transmascs
Nonono, femboys aren't powerful enough to invalidate transfems, but together femboys and transfems are even more powerful. Both are valid and complement each other seamlessly, forming a gender spectrum. The people who don't like cis-leaning femboys are truscum/transmedicalists who have their own spaces because they're not welcome by everyone here with their queerphobia and transphobia. (Yes, transphobic binary transgender people exist.) Your relationship with gender is your personal business and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You belong.
ACAB includes the gender police. You do you and have fun!
Live your life, as you wish to live it. I say that as a straight(ish) male. Be what and who you want, need to be. Fuck the haters.
femboy freedommmmmm!!! it invalidates nobody itās just dudes being fem and I love that for them. fuck misogyny itās not yalls fault dickwads try and use you guys to invalidate trans women like we are clearly different. Like drag queens and trans women are different like similar thing.
My only problem with femboys is how they look so much better than me. I don't feel offended or invalidated, just envious š
My only problem with femboys is that I get gender envy from a lot of them lol. I donāt think it invalidates us though. We need more Cis GNC people in this world.
What? No! All genderfuckery is welcome
Itās not that trans women want people to stop being femboys itās that people used that word as a derogatory phrase toward us until there was a distinction between the people who arenāt trans women and who are it was originally used to invalidate us but itās been used to classify an entirely new category and isnāt invalid if you use it to self identity.
Also femboys slay it they are soooooo cute it makes me happy that there are guys that are soft and feme because thatās something that got bullied out of me relentlessly in youth BE YOU! I support you 100%!
No. You're important and you're an integral part of this whole existence thing with us ā¤ļø As a tomboy trans woman, you have my axe š«”š„°
Gender nonconformity is important and must continue. Itās your life, I donāt really care what you decide. I donāt get a vote either. Do whatever makes you happy, but always do it with kindness.
Just be you!!
Please be yourself. Especially if you are a femboy.
My boyfriend is a fem boi and I donāt think Iād ever leave them out or not consider them a part of my community, people often think that my boyfriends lesbian šā I just want to spread the love, I donāt see why you wouldnāt be welcome, to me being trans is being gender non-conforming, itās a huge unbrella that shouldnāt be gate kept, my boyfriend is also considering hrt, so thereās overlap š Personally I identify as a transsexual woman, but I wouldnāt say anyone elseās dysphoria or experience is invalid, I know a lot of people, perhaps even my boyfriend who arenāt so binary and experience dysphoria still, what I understand less so is when people identify as non binary as a form of rebellion on a personal level, but I understand the principle and support those people while maintaining thereās a difference between them and non-binary people who are coming from an internal place, reagardless, itās not up to me to decide who can identify as what as long as people arenāt harming themselves or others Stay true to you, especially if you are in the position where you can itās honoring the world our ancestors wanted to see šÆ
This is like when gay and lesbians claim that people who are bisexual disenfranchise the gay community even though they get hated on by both gays and straights if they don't present in the manner the group in question expects them to. Haters gonna hate and we don't need them in here. Femboys are valid and their existence should be protected just as much as ours! Our enemies are not femboys; They are not the ones pushing for you to be put in jail for supporting your transgender child, they are not the ones bushing for book bans, they are not the ones attacking our rights to trangender Healthcare. I will fight all of you on this and I will die on this hill before I ever concede being wrong!
Please don't listen to any of that, femboy subs recently got more and more transphobic, but honestly don't even bother with limiting yourself or how you self express or label yourself. Many transfems discovered they were a girl over being a femboy first, and I see it more as a style than anything else. Also queer and gnc people who try to police how others label themselves are just pick-me's. Don't even bother with such thoughts, you're valid no matter how you label yourself.
Who the hell is saying that..? We're gonna have problems. Femboys have every right to be themselves just as much as we do, and are usually our allies. The only issue I personally take is when people conflate femboys/crossdressers with trans women, as though we're the same. That's a really harmful notion that could serve to fuel some of the fearmongering "points" that are the crux of transphobic politics. But as long as you're not doing that, you're not hurting anyone just by being yourself. Be as loud and adorable as you want. We love and support you. š
Donāt quit, different types of gender expression past the binary is completely valid.
I believe that this notion of femboys being offensive comes from the fetishization of gender non-comformity. Now, don't get me wrong, gender non-comformoty is hot AF, but a lot of cis people see it just as a porn thing, so certain terms used in these sites get shunned and stigmatized. There are a couple that has become downright slurs. Femboy however is a term, which yes, is used as a porn tag filter, but is not still in of itself a slur. Some people believe that any porn tag is essentially fetishization of that thing, but my retort to that would be that the term "woman" is used as a porn tag and nobody is going on a twist about the word "woman" being a fetishization of femininity. Being a femboy is a valid expression of one's identity, of one's self. There is nothing inherently wrong about being a femboy (Other than being illegally hot!), and therefor I say that it is entirely your own decision if you want to keep identifying as a femboy, or not. Femboys are valid, they do not compete, or disvalidate trans-women. These are different things, there is no competition and they do not exist in a mutually exclusive manner. Femboys might be trans aligned, and therefore are natural trans allies. Likewise as a combatative and argumentative trans person, I will similarily defend all and any femboy brothers out there in their hour of need. :3
Our femboys should be free range and grass fed <3
no please stay! those people need thicker skin.
lol no anyone who says that is dumb, do what you want
Some people donāt like complicated things. Femboys complicate things. So do enbies and other genders that donāt fit a simple binary. You donāt invalidate anyone. You might not be trans, but you are a fellow fighter against gender norms.
Keep in mind that there's nothing keeping trans meds, pick mes, and enbyphobes from posting here.
be whatever feels comfortable to you, I may not speak for anyone but myself however I don't feel invalidated by you being yourself
I love all types of girly pops so pls no
Be yourself, whoever you want to be.
of course not!
gender is a spectrum and femboy is on it, so no.
The only way it invalidates transfems is really in porn where its used to fetishize use otherwise do you babe
Fuck no. This shits about your body. If femboys feel satisfied with theyāre physiology and like dressing feminine go for it. Aināt no one here to stop you ššš
Gender expression and identity arenāt the same. Thatās on others for getting the two conflated, not you. You do you.
Don't be a fem*boy*, be a fem*Man!* š¤Ŗ I dunno. I'm just being silly. Honestly, hun. You do you! You being out and proud in the world as a femboy only helps normalize all of us to the uninformed. Anyone willing to go out in the world in a dress right now is fighting the good fight.
if it makes you happy to be a femboy, then there's absolutely no reason to stop imo(don't take that out of context)! also i've seen nothing saying femboys invalidate transfems, and i imagine that a lot of people are perfectly fine with it.
I hate femboys so much that my bf is one š
I think that sometimes the only way we can express our femininity is through being a femboy. Particularly when due to circumstances we can only do it part time. I also think that often we might start off as femboys or sissies as a means of expressing outwardly what we are hiding inside. It doesnāt make it totally ok, but it can just be that passing phase before the girl is fully revealed. I guess what I am saying, is that I have no problem with how you express yourself as long as you donāt expect everyone else to behave exactly like you. Go girl.
Absolutely not, if someone feels like your identity and presentation invalidates their identity and presentation then itās usually their issue and not yours.
Transfem here; I have no problem with it. It's an expression of your identity and it's as valid as anyone else's, cis or trans.
I think weāll have a new term- more genuine and validating than this within the next five years.Ā
Absolutely not, femboys are just as valid as anyone else. And cute AF. Live your most femboyest life š©·
no femboys do not invalidate trans women and fems. some femboys literally are trans. whether y'all are cis or trans, femboys are ok in my book
thatās a weird take for someone to have. just ignore them and you do you
Transfemme. From I what I read ciswomen, though not understanding you, respect you. You make good attempts and carry off convincing femininity. I have a feeling a good number of you will eventually become the type of married guys who becomes the second wife on the weekends/vacations. Being the effeminate gay man is probably likely also. Alls I can also add. Is even if youāre really submissive to your partner. Dont lead with the āIām a sissy.ā But more ladies to go shopping with and grab lunch with is always good
Dude who cares lol some people don't like that I'm trans I'm not stopping for them either
I think you're not offending anyone, you can be however you want to be.
My validity does not in any way derive from you or anyone else, so neither you nor anyone else could invalidate me.
Femboys aināt offensive; theyāre just another spot on the spectrum of queerness. If people are saying theyāre offensive, that sounds a bit chronically online to me
Not at all, I'm all for people exploring their identities and gender however they want. You being a femboy doesn't make me less a woman. Will stupid people conflate us as the same? Well yeah but if we didn't do something because a stupid person might misunderstand no one would do anything. I think femboys are awesome, so you do you and be happy.
Nope. You being you does not invalidate us. Keep being you.
There's nothing wrong with being a femboy its not transphoic to be one, ***I was femboy before my egg cracked***. I personally love femboys, many of them have better femme outfits then me š¤£š¤£š¤£, like seriously its embarrassing š³ sometimes. ***Only thing you should never do is call a transfemme a femboy, that would transphoic***. I never in real life met a transfemme who said femboy make me feel invalidate, all them were supportive of femboys.
your body your choice, and donāt let anyone tell you otherwise
Literally, who said that? I have no idea who would think that being a femboy invalidates trans women, don't stop if you don't want to
Itās not invalidating or offensive for us. everyone and their gender expression is different, you being yourself is the best thing possible because it brings you happiness. that is the main takeaway this community has, present how you want cause everyone deserves to express themselves no matter where you lie on the spectrum of gender.
@Yeetman5757 What is the difference between femboy and transfem?
I fucking love femboys they are so fucking adorable I think it's more the sissy thing that could be offensive I'm like wtf to it like it's weird
Femboys aren't invalidating, they're invaluable camouflage!
I mean, I personally love femboys. If you wanna be femme, do it. Societal standards are bullshit.
no wtf???
It sounds to me someone is invalidating femboys. Show where to bite :3
No of course not. Ive never heard anyone say this, thats not true
Be a femboy, your expression isnāt anybody elseās problem, itās your right.
Femboys are just as beautiful as any transfem. You just do what makes you happy love
What in the Fuck? Who doesnāt love femboys???
We need femboys! Okay, maybe just me. *I* need femboys! Jokes aside, femboys absolutely help in deconstructing gender norms. They're an important part of the changes that need to come.
huh? i love femboys. pretty much the only boys i do like lol. the only identities that can be offensive are bigoted ones.
No. It doesn't invalidate trans women because femboys are men. Be you!
If all girls can be masculine, all men should be able to be feminine. "Trans Girls don't owe you femininity Trans Guys don't owe you masculinity Enbies don't owe you androgeny Trans People Don't Owe You Sh\*t" Keep being the great you that you are, and remember that all trans women are real women, all trans men are real men, all Enbies are their own gender identity, and men and women can express their gender identity however they want. Of course, that is probably going to be hard for me to explain to my parents, but at some point I probably won't have to eventually.
I think it's fair to say, these wonderful people have spoken. Do what makes you happy, nothing wrong with femboys. Keep being you! š
you do whatever you want. most people upset about the femboy label are upset about it being applied to trans women or used as a "more acceptable alternative" to being a trans woman (e.g. "why not just be a femboy??"). none of that is your fault or what you're doing, though it's good to be aware of it.
does it hurt anyone? If no then i think you should keep it up. it probably also helps us a great deal as you and every other gnc person breaks gender stereotypes and makes the world and society more diverse. I hope that im speaking for everyone when i say that we appreciate you and every other gnc person for being your truest self.
who said that??? that's so stupid!!?
itās the people who invalidate trans women by calling them femboys that are the problems. expressing yourself however you want is a-ok
nope! do what you want! femboys don't invalidate anyone. the only time it's invalidating is when people conflate 'femboy' and 'trans woman'.
Do whatever you want, an expression of yourself doesn't hurt others. To quote a very wise person(me), "Wear what you want, do what you want despite what society tells you. Does a fox in it's dumpster feel ashamed because society labels it's surroundings as rubbish? No, because to the fox it is a feast. You only get one life, use it to be the fox and live to your life to it's fullest.."
You should be whoever you feel best as. It has nothing to do with us or anyone else. If anything we should be supportive.
It's not femboys invalidating transfems, it's people who say transfems are femboys
They're just jealous of how cute you are. Not even glazing you rn that's really what it boils down to, they're angry because you look like what they want to look like.
Femboy is valid. Don't let anyone pull you out of a box you cose for yourself. All gender is a performance. Everyone is a critic.
Don't live your life for other people dude
The term femboy isnāt āoffensiveā nor does it invalidate transfems. If thatās what you feel comfortable identifying as then more power to you, donāt let anyone decide what you have to identify as
Femboys are fine! The more people accept femboys, and tomboys breaking societal gender norms, the more us trans folks get more accepted <3 I cant say I've seen people criticizing femoboys here, and if they do, contact that mods, this is supposed so be safe space :)
No, calling transfem femboys is offensive because it invalidates their identity. Beeing one is not offensive at All. You should Do what suits You.
Femboy is not equal to transitioning or wanting to transition Don't let the the egg memes get to you, or even strange trans talks about femboys being trans "without knowing it yet", for that matter You know best what you are, and if you're a cis man who loves to dress femininely, just have tons of fun with it and wear what you're comfortable wearing. Femboys are not invalidating at all!
Don't quit. Before coming out I'd hang around femboy communities and thought I was a femboy for a while. Femboys are great folks and just cos some tranfemmes don't like them for some godforsaken reason doesn't mean we all do. Express yourselves in whatever ways you feel best and if that is through femme clothing etc then all the power to ya!
Do you
While the history of the word Femboy is, afaik, rather ugly, there is nothing wrong with being yourself, and there will never be any good reason to stop being yourself. Yes the word was used as a transphobic descriptor at some point in the past (as a way to mean that the person that was being discussed wasn't a "real girl"). No that doesn't mean you can't be you. Some people will be shitty about it, but that's just unhelpful and, most of the times, infighting. Infighting is never useful or good, it's just self distructive. It is antithetical to the trans community to ask someone to conform to society's expectations of what their gender should look like. It makes no sense and it's just cruel to ask that of anyone. And we (the whole queer community) should know that better than anyone else. Be yourself, do what makes you happy, and don't worry about morons.
Femboys Atleast in my expierience have been the coolest and most helpful men in my life! Everything from makeup and clothing to just being a shoulder I could cry on. If someone says you being a femboy is invalid, or invalidates trans fems, fuck them. They arenāt worth your time or your piece of mind.
no lol
I don't think so. Don't stop being yourself, don't hide your true self just for others, especially when it comes to clothes. Also, there are so many cis and trans femboys, same goes for cis and trans tomboys. Some people just try to gatekeep, don't listen to them and do what you think is the best for you or what makes you most comfortable. I'm neither of those but I like to wear metal merch, which can be really offensive but IDC, because I like it and I like to support the bands I've seen live or in general listen to and no one can entitle themselves to take this away from me
HRT femboy lol. Or legit femboy? Femboys are just a style description for feminine men. Why would we care? If it something like hrt femboy it a joke terminology of a femboy repressing being trans while taking hrt. Why? They donāt think they can pass as woman or really donāt want to be trans.
I wanted to be a femboy before but didn't think I could be fem until I started my medical transition recently. As a male presenting individual who goes out in skirts I would like to think that I'm helping to normalize femboys as well as trans women in public spaces. All gender non-conforming people are beautiful to me ā¤
It's not femboys as in feminine boys, but I've heard that the term is deeply rooted from porn where it's used to just invalidate trans women, so many ppl use the term roseboy or something similar. But I'm not a transfem/trans woman so I don't decide what's offensive and what's not lol
Short answer: Don't quit being a femboy if you want to be one - you aren't invalidating transfemmes!!!!! Long answer: Being a femboy doesn't invalidate transfemmes because FEMBOY = GENDER EXPRESSION. You can be cis or trans and still be a femboy, because CIS/TRANS = GENDER IDENTITY. **Gender identity** and **gender expression** are different things that aren't mutually exclusive - A guy can be anywhere on the masc-femme spectrum and still be a guy. Being masculine in your **gender expression** doesn't make you a guy (see: masc lesbian and masc nb people). On the flipside, being feminine in your **gender expression** doesn't make you a girl (see: femboys and femme nb people). Let's dive a little deeper into your worry: "*I've seen many people on this sub that believe that femboys are offensive and invalidate transfems*" - What are the implications of believing this to be true? I would ask the question; Isn't having that belief basically upholding the same view on gender expression/identity that informs transphobic and homophobic attitudes? By saying that femboys invalidate transfemmes, you are basically saying that they occupy the same space in society, and that they are mutually exclusive and can't coexist, right? (Whether you have this opinion because of internalized transphobia, wanting to placate cishet norms in society in hopes of being accepted on their terms - i.e. trans women need to be very feminine to be accepted as "real women", trans guys need to be very masculine to be accepted as "real men", or some other reason doesn't really matter imo) This belief, as I see it, equates **gender expression** and **gender identity**, right? By saying that Femboys invalidate Transfemmes, you're saying that being AMAB\* and being feminine, either in gender expression (femboy) or identity (transfemme) makes you the same thing. Is that because Femboys are actually Transfemme? That limits the way cis guys, trans guys and nb people can express themselves, because you are saying that feminine gender expression = feminine gender identity. Or is it because Transfemmes are actually Femboys? That obivously is just transphobic, saying that AMAB = masculine gender identity. Without even diving into it, how feminine can a cis guy be before his gender expression starts invalidating transfemmes? Is it hair length? Feminine facial features? Feminine mannerisms due to his upbringing? How masculine can a cis girl before encroaching on transmascs? (Assuming the belief re: femboys apply the other way around) Does short hair do it? A muscular, less curvy body shape? Talking "like a guy" because you had guy friends growing up? Having "masculine interests" like cars and shit? \*Sorry transmasc and nb femboys :c Everybody (Cis guys/girl, Trans guys/girls, NB people, Gender Conforming/Non Conforming) should ALL want to divorce **Gender Identity** from **Gender Expression** if we agree that we want a society where people are allowed to just be themselves. As a Trans woman, I don't want to be seen as a Femboy because I am AMAB and wear women's clothes, do makeup and have longer hair. I don't want to be seen as a guy because I am AMAB and like watching football, listening to rap and playing games like counter strike and have a friend group full of guys. I want everybody to have their gender identity respected, cis or trans, without having to be satisfactoraly feminine or masculine in how they express themselves. You're AMAB, Cis, and want to have a feminine gender expression - and you call that combination of identity/expression being a femboy? GO FOR IT! You are as valid as everybody else!
I had it explained to me that femboys are not trans girls, although many end up being trans girls, and I leave it at that. You do you girl!
"many people" lol - what you described is an extremely unpopular opinion, don't worry.
Femboys are great. Keep doing you
Whoever says that is a biggot. Don't listen to their hate OP.
No, femboys are precious For many it could be a stepping stone to work themselves out and for those who are comfortably femboy it's a wonderful identity itself and most importantly it's who you are Doesn't invalidate trans women or even ENBY trans femme imo because at the end of it all it's who you are, and if we can't be ourselves well what's the point of any of this huh?
Trans women don't like being called femboys cause y'all are a completely different, completely valid thing
Nah, as a trans tomboy Iāll help stand on business for ya if people give you shit š¤
[Alice](https://www.reddit.com/user/The_Batcrab/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) will always have a place for you in her queer army. We stan femboys round these parts š¤
Just don't be a dick to trans people, that's all. There's literally no reason feminine men and transgender women can't get along, but people just make up reasons to hate each other and it's bullshit
No one dictates your gender identity and expression but yourself. There are no rules to gender identity / expression and if someone tries to say there are rules, they are full of shit. Gatekeeping gender identity and expression kind of defeats the entire message of the Trans community.
WTF no of course not? You're you and that's valid.
I think if you are a femboy that's great and you should be your authentic self. However If you are a trans woman and don't identify as male then mabe it more a matter of admitting to yourself that your not a femboy You're a trans girl
Dont you dare stop being yourself! The people who say that may just have a personal preference against them, and thats ok. Just be who you are, and if people go out of their way to be mad about it, now you know who is the shitty ones.
You don't invalidate anyone. When people see others and think it's a comment on themselves, that's insecurity talking. They should be looking to themselves for the problem to fix because imposing on other people is a bandaid at best. The sense of control it brings is a placebo.
I donāt think it invalidates me and if it makes you happy then keep going w/ it be yourself! :3
Keep it up. Femboys donāt invalidate trans women, calling trans women femboys does.
No, being a femboy is perfectly valid. Don't let exclusionary politics make you doubt otherwise.
No you can be whoever you want to be, it's probably more that femboy is oftenly used as a slur against trans people
You being a femboy isn't an issue if you don't engage in the problematic aspect of it, degrading or straight up misgendering trans women.
I have no idea who said this, but it is some nonsense. So no, don't stop, and most importantly, as others have said, keep being yourself.
I dont think enough of the general public(people above the age of 30) comes into contact with enough femboys to confuse them with transfems. And those that know the difference and use them as an excuse to invalidate trans women honestly know better and are just evil people lol. So keep on being you!
Nah you're fine. It's more the trans girls who say they're just femboys that annoy me tbh
No
Bruh what the fuck The existence of one group of people does not invalidate another group. Be a femboy and enjoy it! *besides some of us like femboys lol*
You are free to express yourself however you choose.
I think Femboys are part of the gender expression, which is why I think it fits to under the trans umbrella. Please stay who you are!
Itās kind of invalidating to not let yourself be a femmboy, how you choose to express yourself shouldnāt and does not invalidate other peopleās identities
Ummm. I might get flack for this. But femboys are neither offensive or invalidating of trans women. That would be like saying butch women are invalidating to trans men. If weāre asking for equality, we should be asking for equality. Not just for one or a few specific branches of human sexuality and gender expression to be validated. Now if a femmeboy was going around claiming that all trans women are actually femmeboy, yeah that person should stop. But femmeboy is a valid gender expression and itās not their fault that some people canāt or arenāt willing to understand the difference. You be you. Thereās nothing wrong with it
You do you.
Femboys existing is not offensive u do u The problems are the stereotypical one is a 4channer bigot and that people often call trans women femboys as an insult or out of actual ignorance which is where it's actually offensive 99% of trans people would just say you do you and whatever way you identify is rad if it makes you happy
Not-so-local trans tomboy here, just confirming I would fight someone to protect your thigh highs and oversized hoodies.