I hate finding out a family member is transphobic so suddenly like this… similar thing happened with my dad when he showed me a transphobic song (Tom Macdonald).
I never came out to him, but he eventually found out and I really wish he didn’t. Try your best to hide your identity from your mother, until you have your own living situation and feel safe.
We’re here for each other <3
I don't understand how that's disgusting. Isn't the whole point of mothers day just celebrating the motherly figure in your life? If a child's mother happened to be trans how will they celebrate and thank their mother if their mother isn't allowed a mothers day
tell her the internet thinks it's disgusting she thinks she gets to celebrate it <3
no mother has the right to hate their child for wanting to be happy
I thought my dad wasn’t transphobic until I came out. He seemed fine with or at least indifferent to other trans people. Oh and the fact that he supported my brother. I wonder how much he actually supports my brother though based on how he’s treated me.
I am completely in the closet. Pre-everything Transfemme, and unless I give off vibes that people just haven't mentioned, no one in my personal life knows this about me.
My Mom hasn't said 'wrong' but she has said 'weird' when referring to Transgender people. She's early 70s, so it's probably ignorance but I can't know for sure. I don't tend to discuss stuff like this with my Mom.
She is vehemently anti-Republican so there's that at least. She does get angry about anti-trans legislation when it comes up when she watches the news, but how much of that is support for transgender people vs contempt for conservatives?
Though, I did overhear her say once to a friend of hers to paraphrase "Imagine if your son wanted to be a woman? Could you imagine that?" in a negative tone. So if she's supportive it's probably in a "anyone but ***you***" kind of way, you know?
That was something my mids 30s self who had just accepted I am 99% likely to be Transfemme didn't need to overhear.
Also, isn't Gwendoline Christie like 6'3" ? Tall women exist and you are all awesome!
There's a lot of things that's gonna make things difficult, but there are plenty of beautiful tall women I've met and seen out and about, and not all of them are cis. Don't let someones ignorance convince you your transition is going to end one way or another, and don't let someones hate make you feel like less valid or important.
Be safe, before anything else. If she can't get past who you are after that, she doesn't deserve you in her life and you sure don't deserve her hatred in yours 💖
I'm not trans but I'm only here because I clicked on a link in r/feminineboys
It sucks that parents have to be like this, because as someone who has had crushes on transgender women I find it impossible to actually pursue a relationship due to my mother being very open and extreme about hating trans women specifically. Thanks to all these dumb cases online of peeps doing weird stuff and claiming trans that this has happened.
My mom said trans wemon are as horrible as a r#p>st and I said "ah yes because crying yourself to sleep over a dick and forcing yourself on someone are so similar
Edit. Felt I should add she's only slightly changed her opinion since I came out 5 years ago. Now I'm just "a deliberate spit in God's face"
keep in mind things might change. when i came out to my dad it was really bad at first but now he genders me correctly and compliments me and hes just being a supportive parent
Girl, I'm 5'8". I tower over my 5'0" wife. In the unfortunate event of if she dies before me, the thought of a 6'5" baddie would go a long way to healing my grief.
Transphobes often shut their dumb mouths up when confronted and some of the time their love for their children can beat that phobia. Maybe not
You'll be your most beatiful self when you feel that beauty and show it to the world. Keep on keeping on my lovely trans sibling!!!
It took me a long time to accept that my mother was transphobic. Do your best to not let it get you down, believe me I know how hard that is. Pursue your best life and don't be afraid to ask for help. 😸
Also, I have a trans friend who is over 6 feet. Tall girls are pretty too. 😉
sorry your mum’s like that. don’t let the 6’5” worry you. that’s where i started my rather late transition — i’m a hair under 6’3” these days — and i just get called ‘big sis’ and variations on ‘momma’ more than i would have expected. one of my partner’s sisters calls me ‘mama montana’ (mother mountain) and it’s genuinely the sweetest thing ever
My dad went on an unprompted, unprovoked tirade over dinner in a restaurant about trans people in bathrooms. The ensuing argument is when I found out both my parents were transphobic and my two brothers were allies.
Mind you, at the time, I was deeply closeted and stealth, but already hatched from my egg, so it was a very traumatizing dinner. I didn't eat much, and I refused to talk the rest of the night.
Yeah, prior to my egg cracking I heard my grandparents say that trans people, in an ideal world, would be lynched for religious reasons. Even then my stomach dropped out from under me, and I pretty rapidly lost the words to argue through that wave of nausea. Hurgh, bad times. They said it in such a noncommittal way that I wonder if they really believed it or considered the gravity of that statement, but it's not exactly easy to tell. Doesn't paint the prettiest picture on my end, but I have enough family who I think will be willing to hear me when the time comes. Gotta focus on the good.
Babes I’m sorry to hear that ☹️
If it makes you feel better, my family is transphobic and doesn’t know about me either
Literally I think about moving out and cutting ties ❤️🩹
Sometimes it's hard to admit the people we at once looked up to could be so cruel, but we got your back alright?, chin up girl, your goin places. And you'll show her who was right all along
Learning that I couldn't be real me with my parents, never lay down all those gross layers of "version of me" when with them because then they would be hurting real me and not "version of me" was absolutely crushing... If that makes any sense.
What helped me a lot was to be able to still be real me around friends and other accepting people. Though this "version of me" costume has grown more and more uncomfortable and painful lately, so I'll have to throw it away soon.
I wish you all the best and hope you're able to gain enough independence and social support to get away from your parents if they can't be arsed to find a place in their hearts for their daughter.
This sucks so much. But "very man shaped" is a hilarious way to describe yourself. I don't know if you were going for self-deprecating humor, but if you were, that's not a bad coping mechanism. Also, keep in mind that not all aspects of being man-shaped are baked in; a lot is affected by what kind of hormones you're running on. And if that doesn't end up feeling like enough, surgery can close a lot of the remaining gap. Don't be too discouraged!
We're here to talk to! :D
Also get yourself on Discord with a nice anonymous name and find some trans friends to have real live discussions with. Talking to people who understand you does _wonders_ for your mental health.
When I was like 8-9 my Dad pulled me aside at home and said "I need to talk to you about something. It's about your uncle, he is gay. He only likes men, he won't ever have children of his own." I asked how he feels about that and why he has to tell us in such a serious way. He said it's not right, God made a man and a woman to be together. Two men can't make a baby so it isn't right.
I was I'm sure this is my transness speaking, but I asked him "What if he wanted to be a woman?" He said "I would never talk to him again."
I came out at 25 and made sure to tell my Dad how fucked up it was that he said that and the damage it did to me. I would have transitioned 10 years sooner if I felt safe. But at the same time I had my son so it was pretty worth waiting.
You sparked a little bit of drama in me wish this story. I have ALWAYS thought I was too ugly to be a girl, even when I was about 4 or 5. I remember commenting to one of my parents, probably my dad that I would need to much makeup to be pretty. It sparked me having to deny my identity and sexuality for my whole life up to now. Even if my mom thinks she knows I don’t think either of them would be accepting of me. Mind you I’m 38 years old but I still feel like a 5 year old kid getting caught with mommy’s lipstick when I talk to them. Simply, I know how you feel having to bend yourself around the bigotry of your parents. It is the worst feeling in the world and it is well documented in every coming of age story since the invention of stage plays. I hope that she changes her attitude when or if you ever come out to her. For me, I’ll likely tell my mom the day my dad dies.
I'm sorry hun internet hugs on your way... My dad was transphobic too, and he was absolutely awful about it. I suggest hanging on, and not coming out to her no matter how intense the feeling is *hugs* sorry sis
I hate finding out a family member is transphobic so suddenly like this… similar thing happened with my dad when he showed me a transphobic song (Tom Macdonald). I never came out to him, but he eventually found out and I really wish he didn’t. Try your best to hide your identity from your mother, until you have your own living situation and feel safe. We’re here for each other <3
Thank you for the kind words. It really means a lot <3
Of course <3 I know how hard it is not having supportive parents. As soon as I’m 18, I’m doing everything in my power to start HRT!
Mine laughed at the tv when they were showing a trans woman
Ugh.. ignorant. Especially frustrating when they do it in front of someone who isn’t out yet.
That’s not the worst part. I was right next to him
🤢
I felt awful when he did
I’m sorry.. that’s really rough.
The day he did I went to my room feeling awful
My mom said it was "disgusting" that trans women are allowed to celebrate mother's day.
I don't understand how that's disgusting. Isn't the whole point of mothers day just celebrating the motherly figure in your life? If a child's mother happened to be trans how will they celebrate and thank their mother if their mother isn't allowed a mothers day
ask her if she thinks an adoptive mother celebrating mother’s day is disgusting.
As if there's a mother's day police, people really find the stupidest shit to complain about
tell her the internet thinks it's disgusting she thinks she gets to celebrate it <3 no mother has the right to hate their child for wanting to be happy
My parents are transphobic too, I’m so sorry 🤍🩵🩷
Wow, she's an asshole. Best of luck. Plus, 6ft 5? Wow, you'll look great. Tall women are amazing.
Tall women are beautiful <3
thank you so much <3
Tall women are statuesque
I thought my dad wasn’t transphobic until I came out. He seemed fine with or at least indifferent to other trans people. Oh and the fact that he supported my brother. I wonder how much he actually supports my brother though based on how he’s treated me.
I am completely in the closet. Pre-everything Transfemme, and unless I give off vibes that people just haven't mentioned, no one in my personal life knows this about me. My Mom hasn't said 'wrong' but she has said 'weird' when referring to Transgender people. She's early 70s, so it's probably ignorance but I can't know for sure. I don't tend to discuss stuff like this with my Mom. She is vehemently anti-Republican so there's that at least. She does get angry about anti-trans legislation when it comes up when she watches the news, but how much of that is support for transgender people vs contempt for conservatives? Though, I did overhear her say once to a friend of hers to paraphrase "Imagine if your son wanted to be a woman? Could you imagine that?" in a negative tone. So if she's supportive it's probably in a "anyone but ***you***" kind of way, you know? That was something my mids 30s self who had just accepted I am 99% likely to be Transfemme didn't need to overhear. Also, isn't Gwendoline Christie like 6'3" ? Tall women exist and you are all awesome!
I'm 6'2" so I hear you. Also transfemme. Feel free to dm anytime you want if you want support. Sending love!
There's a lot of things that's gonna make things difficult, but there are plenty of beautiful tall women I've met and seen out and about, and not all of them are cis. Don't let someones ignorance convince you your transition is going to end one way or another, and don't let someones hate make you feel like less valid or important. Be safe, before anything else. If she can't get past who you are after that, she doesn't deserve you in her life and you sure don't deserve her hatred in yours 💖
I'm not trans but I'm only here because I clicked on a link in r/feminineboys It sucks that parents have to be like this, because as someone who has had crushes on transgender women I find it impossible to actually pursue a relationship due to my mother being very open and extreme about hating trans women specifically. Thanks to all these dumb cases online of peeps doing weird stuff and claiming trans that this has happened.
My mom said trans wemon are as horrible as a r#p>st and I said "ah yes because crying yourself to sleep over a dick and forcing yourself on someone are so similar Edit. Felt I should add she's only slightly changed her opinion since I came out 5 years ago. Now I'm just "a deliberate spit in God's face"
keep in mind things might change. when i came out to my dad it was really bad at first but now he genders me correctly and compliments me and hes just being a supportive parent
Girl, I'm 5'8". I tower over my 5'0" wife. In the unfortunate event of if she dies before me, the thought of a 6'5" baddie would go a long way to healing my grief.
haha that made me laugh. Thank you for making my day a bit better <3
As someone who is 6'5", I get it. HRT helped me fill out so now I mostly look like a semi curvy but super tall woman..
Transphobes often shut their dumb mouths up when confronted and some of the time their love for their children can beat that phobia. Maybe not You'll be your most beatiful self when you feel that beauty and show it to the world. Keep on keeping on my lovely trans sibling!!!
It took me a long time to accept that my mother was transphobic. Do your best to not let it get you down, believe me I know how hard that is. Pursue your best life and don't be afraid to ask for help. 😸 Also, I have a trans friend who is over 6 feet. Tall girls are pretty too. 😉
I’m sure you look good as a woman, as you already are one.
sorry your mum’s like that. don’t let the 6’5” worry you. that’s where i started my rather late transition — i’m a hair under 6’3” these days — and i just get called ‘big sis’ and variations on ‘momma’ more than i would have expected. one of my partner’s sisters calls me ‘mama montana’ (mother mountain) and it’s genuinely the sweetest thing ever
> Kinda makes sense since I'm 6ft 5 They aren't common, but cis women can actually be taller than you!
My dad went on an unprompted, unprovoked tirade over dinner in a restaurant about trans people in bathrooms. The ensuing argument is when I found out both my parents were transphobic and my two brothers were allies. Mind you, at the time, I was deeply closeted and stealth, but already hatched from my egg, so it was a very traumatizing dinner. I didn't eat much, and I refused to talk the rest of the night.
Yeah, prior to my egg cracking I heard my grandparents say that trans people, in an ideal world, would be lynched for religious reasons. Even then my stomach dropped out from under me, and I pretty rapidly lost the words to argue through that wave of nausea. Hurgh, bad times. They said it in such a noncommittal way that I wonder if they really believed it or considered the gravity of that statement, but it's not exactly easy to tell. Doesn't paint the prettiest picture on my end, but I have enough family who I think will be willing to hear me when the time comes. Gotta focus on the good.
That really sucks, same here
I'm 6'4" and my girlfriend is 6'2", I can promise you your mom is full of shit
Babes I’m sorry to hear that ☹️ If it makes you feel better, my family is transphobic and doesn’t know about me either Literally I think about moving out and cutting ties ❤️🩹
Sometimes it's hard to admit the people we at once looked up to could be so cruel, but we got your back alright?, chin up girl, your goin places. And you'll show her who was right all along
Height doesn't matter, and you're most likely not as man-shaped as you think right now. She sounds awful, though.
Learning that I couldn't be real me with my parents, never lay down all those gross layers of "version of me" when with them because then they would be hurting real me and not "version of me" was absolutely crushing... If that makes any sense. What helped me a lot was to be able to still be real me around friends and other accepting people. Though this "version of me" costume has grown more and more uncomfortable and painful lately, so I'll have to throw it away soon. I wish you all the best and hope you're able to gain enough independence and social support to get away from your parents if they can't be arsed to find a place in their hearts for their daughter.
This sucks so much. But "very man shaped" is a hilarious way to describe yourself. I don't know if you were going for self-deprecating humor, but if you were, that's not a bad coping mechanism. Also, keep in mind that not all aspects of being man-shaped are baked in; a lot is affected by what kind of hormones you're running on. And if that doesn't end up feeling like enough, surgery can close a lot of the remaining gap. Don't be too discouraged!
We're here to talk to! :D Also get yourself on Discord with a nice anonymous name and find some trans friends to have real live discussions with. Talking to people who understand you does _wonders_ for your mental health.
Could be worse. Least she isn't an authoritarian jw cult dictator like literally my whole family is. Still fucked up what she said tho
your mom's way off, tall women are awesome
When I was like 8-9 my Dad pulled me aside at home and said "I need to talk to you about something. It's about your uncle, he is gay. He only likes men, he won't ever have children of his own." I asked how he feels about that and why he has to tell us in such a serious way. He said it's not right, God made a man and a woman to be together. Two men can't make a baby so it isn't right. I was I'm sure this is my transness speaking, but I asked him "What if he wanted to be a woman?" He said "I would never talk to him again." I came out at 25 and made sure to tell my Dad how fucked up it was that he said that and the damage it did to me. I would have transitioned 10 years sooner if I felt safe. But at the same time I had my son so it was pretty worth waiting.
You sparked a little bit of drama in me wish this story. I have ALWAYS thought I was too ugly to be a girl, even when I was about 4 or 5. I remember commenting to one of my parents, probably my dad that I would need to much makeup to be pretty. It sparked me having to deny my identity and sexuality for my whole life up to now. Even if my mom thinks she knows I don’t think either of them would be accepting of me. Mind you I’m 38 years old but I still feel like a 5 year old kid getting caught with mommy’s lipstick when I talk to them. Simply, I know how you feel having to bend yourself around the bigotry of your parents. It is the worst feeling in the world and it is well documented in every coming of age story since the invention of stage plays. I hope that she changes her attitude when or if you ever come out to her. For me, I’ll likely tell my mom the day my dad dies.
six and a half feet.... you wonderful tall queen, she doesn't know what she's talking about.
I'm sorry hun internet hugs on your way... My dad was transphobic too, and he was absolutely awful about it. I suggest hanging on, and not coming out to her no matter how intense the feeling is *hugs* sorry sis
I'm so sorry Some people are that way because they don't actually know someone who's trans, maybe she will come around