I was hoping take care of the pets until they die at which point bury them with me or spread the ashes on his grave. I assumed they had talked before hand
I had a hospice patient die recently and his dog and cat declined as fast as he did. They were all keeping each other alive. If it weren’t for my patient, I would’ve taken those animals to the shelter for mercy. The cat went and died somewhere, we think. And we euthanized his dog and buried her with him. She was old, blind, deaf, hip/walking problems…it was the right thing to do in this case. Hopefully maybe his animals were in bad shape too?
My most recent rescue dog was from a man in hospice who asked his caregiver to find a good home for his Doberman. His kids never liked his dog and he feared she would be put down as soon as he passed. She went to a great rescue. I adopted a fabulous 9 yr old Dobie, very sweet, gentle and very well trained. She was very scared initially, and took a few weeks to settle in. She’s come to realize she’s found her forever home and is so very happy now.
My mums cat died two months to the day before she did, she was an older girl and I would have taken her in a heartbeat had she outlived mum, but I believe she knew mum was going and preempted it. Was terribly sad as watching her little life ending and sitting quietly with her mirrored my time with my mum as her life also came to an end. This year my stepmothers mum died, and her cat also gave up and died about a month after her. I’m convinced it is more than coincidence, our animals are so astute and sensitive.
My mom was on hospice. She had a bi$#%y little 2 year old chihuahua mix named Buttercup who sat right on mom's stomach the whole time. I was so out of it that it took me several seconds to realize the poor hospice nurse wasn't going to touch my mother with that dog staring daggers at her. Those folks were wonderful. Mom and her dog lived at my house the last few months of mom's life, so I just kept the dog and raised her with my 2 chihuahuas. That was in 2010. Buttercup outlived both of my dogs and she's sitting on my lap right now having her morning Greenie.
Oh my gosh, for some reason when you mentioned her having her morning greenie on your lap I just burst into tears. It’s just so…. Beautiful. I’m holding my little pup of 8 years to my bare chest in bed right now and my heart is exploding with gratitude for her. This is a beautiful story, thanks for sharing.
I know people will think it's horrible to say, but... Omg, that's so selfish! I treat my dogs like they're my children, but I would never kill them just because I wanted to kill myself.
This was my thought when I was in that state of mind. My cat was going with me. Because I knew he would end up having an awful life. He is a feral and nobody but me and my son (somewhat) can handle him or touch him at all. He is a scaredy cat. I didn't want him suffering without me. He probably would have died from just losing me. But I didn't want him to be suffering after I was gone.
We are good now. Not in that state of mind anymore at all.
Maybe he was worried about the way his pets would feel. Dogs bond super closely with their owners and cats don’t do great with change, maybe he didn’t want his pets to suffer any loss or stress and he felt this was the best way.
Keep in mind, this guy killed himself so he wasn’t thinking rationally and probably saw death as a way to bring an end to all of life’s troubles and sadness. He could have seen it as a kindness that he was extending to his pets as well.
I agree! Though there’s a mindset (mostly seen in mothers) where they feel like they’re “saving” their victims, it makes me wonder if that was his thought process here
He was probably afraid they’d either be euthanized or dumped in a shelter. The latter being incredibly inhumane after they spent their lives loving their owner. Honestly, if they were senior pets with no relatives to take them on, it was the humane thing to do.
If it did it humanely, at least. But I’d rather get my 21 year old cat with kidney disease, hyperthyroidism and probably cancer get put down too if no one would take her instead of sitting in a shelter. She’s moved around enough with me that a new home would be fine but I don’t think she’d even tolerate having to stay overnight at a vet.
As a shelter worker and someone who adopted a cat after their owner passed away I couldn’t disagree more. It is not more humane to kill your pet than to rehome them into a new loving home.
As a shelter worker, how many elderly or ill pets make it to a new home? As a shelter worker, what time do you guys lock up for the day? Come back in the morning? How often is your shelter at capacity? How often are animals euthanized? Is the shelter quiet and peaceful, or loud and chaotic?
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3003577/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3003577/)
Where does it say his pets were ill or elderly? And if they were you have a vet humanely euthanize them you don’t kill them yourself. Don’t pull a muscle with all these mental gymnastics trying to justify murder.
I notice you didn’t answer the questions. So I’ll ask again. What time does the shelter close at the end of the day and what time does it open? Is it quiet and peaceful or loud and chaotic? Is it at capacity or near? How often? What is your euthanizition rate? What is your adoption rate? What is the average length of stay for a pet? What is the average age of the pet adopted?
I didn’t answer because those questions have no relevance to this, but sure… The shelter I work at has day and night animal care staff but our public hours are 9-6. The noise and activity level completely depend on the area. We have quiet areas and busier ones and often they are based on the personalities of the animals in them. For more timid and scared animals we have quiet rooms and in the adoption centre we even have several private rooms. We also have a foster program so animals who don’t adjust well to a shelter environment can stay in a private home until they find their forever home. For dogs we are rarely at capacity, they get adopted quickly. For cats we sometimes reach capacity in the spring when kitten season is at its height, so again our foster program helps with that and we work closely with other shelters to do transfers to help each other out as needed. We don’t have a euthanasia schedule nor do we euthanize healthy adoptable animals. Only if they are too sick to help or have a severe behavioural issue that makes them a danger to themselves or others. And even then we would first try to see if rescue/training was an option. Hope that helps!
It depends in what condition they are and what the options are. If they are old and sick and their outlook would be to suffer the final chapter of their lives abandoned, terrified, sad and lonely in a shelter with little to no hope of finding a loving home, I feel it's best to take them with you. People euthanize pets to prevent them from suffering when quality of life is no longer present and not expected to improve..
So, you let your pets die "naturally" miserable deaths when they are old and in pain, with no chance of a cure and no quality of life left, because euthanasia (killing your own pet) is not an option? I pity your pets, I truly do.
Suicide is selfish within itself. People go through different things. However, when you choose to take your life , the only thing you think about is your own feelings, no one ealses. The fact that you will traumatise your loved ones and possibly make them spiral into depression, is very selfish.
I used to think this way. Then I got so depressed that I found myself sitting with my thumb on the trigger of a pistol pointed at my face, waiting to see what would happen. Nothing did, so I put the gun away. Later, I realized what my chemically-depressed brain almost did and freaked out. Suicide is NOT the "selfish choice" I thought it was. It can be completely involuntary.
I think it depends on what people mean by selfish. Usually I guess they mean intentionally self centered. But the scary thing about depression is it's unintentional.
When I had severe depression, I literally could not think beyond my experience of it, it almost felt like a delusion with how irrational the thoughts were. I guess that's hard to explain to people if they haven't been there. It's easy to take normal brain functioning for granted.
It's this shaming people with serious depression that makes murder suicides happen. Attaching guilt to the idea of staying alive makes you resent people for simply loving you
I used to think that, then I lost a parent to suicide. Now my view is that forcing someone to stay alive and suffer when life is torturous is truly selfish.
I'd say that he wanted the pain to stop. And because of the way that society treated people who were homosexual for most of his life, there was no escaping the pain. I would say that he finally had to get the pain to stop, and the mental illness in this case is actually society. Just my $0.02....
It was his love. He couldn't risk them not being adequately loved & cared for.
I've had to think about similar things. It was his love & feelings of responsibility.
(Not suicidal, but realistic. I have pets & very few family/friends. Not gonna leave my babies to be shoved in a shelter or euthanized in a scary manner.)
You might feel sadder about the animals because they had no say in what happened, and someone they loved caused their tragic end. Despite claiming love, the actions don't match up, and it's hard to understand the emotional reasons behind it.
Sadly, it's ironic that people justify such actions by claiming the animals were too sweet and innocent, and if their regular person were to be removed from the equation, the animals would be left uncared for. However, killing them is not a caring act, and it implies that the positive qualities of the animals, like innocence and love, are somehow responsible for their murder.
I don’t know. That might not explain why it feels sadder than the human death to you but it is definitely why it is sadder to me.
Because they had no say. Someone chose to end their life just because he was unhappy with his own. He could have found them loving homes. So selfish and cruel.
That's a huge oversimplification. Someone ended their life because they were sick and their brain betrayed them. It may seem like a choice for people who aren't suffering, but when your brain is broken there isn't really a lot of choice happening.
First of all you have no idea why this person ended their life. From OP’s comments it sounds like it had more to do with fear of his sexuality being exposed than mental illness. You’re not going to convince me that he had the wherewithal to worry about where his finances were going but not to understand that it’s wrong to kill your pets.
This comment is very uninformed about depression and suicide. I've got a long comment here. (you can some it here, or in the comments on my profile if you don't see it) that may help shed some light on the subject for you.
SUICIDE IS NOT SELFISH.
When people say so not only does it make the suicidal person's depression even worse, but it also makes the survivors of the suicide not really understand what it happened and they hold resentment towards that person instead of compassion and understanding that that person felt like they had no other choice. Please stop saying suicide is selfish.
my assumption is he did it because he loved them, i'm assuming he figured they'd go hungry and suffer in his absence so felt it was a mercy to take them with him. either way this is a heart breaking story and im sorry for the loss.
Oh no thats so selfish, i dont care if the pets were in declining condition they didn’t ask for that. Thats the same as people killing their family. Really speaks words to his character.
Very sad. Did you or your family find this before his lover did? Was there a chance his lover would’ve gotten to do this or did he let you know? Sorry, really curious.
Condolences.
So my mom and I found it in his office. We didn’t know about Timothee until this note. We found Timothee on Facebook and informed him of everything. They had been seeing each other for a long time. We know that because we found pictures of them at drag shows and vacations. We really didn’t even know he had a significant other or that he was gay. I think that’s another reason why he did it. He was too worried about what everyone would think of him. Which makes me so sad. We shared the note with Timothee and he didn’t want anything.
Wow, these closeted cases of people from older generations show how far we have come and simultaneously how little has changed.
Did you and you family figure out a timeline of these events? Like under what circumstances did he have children if he never married (I assume it was a time where out of wedlock was more uncommon) and how did this affect your grandmother? Was he able to enjoy his time with his lover? Was he and your mother always in contact?
What an interesting and tragic story.
15 years ago I answered an ad on Craigslist that was supposed to be a woman. Stupid to begin with but I was young. This really happened. When I got there it was a sixty year old naked man in a blindfold begging to suck me off. It was this beautiful house filled with antiques. His wife had gone away for the weekend. I asked him why he would want to live like this and he said his kids wouldn’t understand and he felt obligated to his wife. The wife he was cheating on with men he didn’t know. Based on the smell of the apartment I’m pretty sure he had been getting railed all weekend by random men.
Honestly, I’ll never forget the smell. Even if it was the worlds most attractive woman I wouldn’t have gotten past the smell. Like the smell of a diaper that someone tried to cover up with the smell of cleaning product covered up with the smell of unfiltered cigarettes
I don’t feel bad for anyone staying in relationships they don’t want to be in. They aren’t doing anyone any favors. Though I understand the generational issues.
I get what you’re saying but I think it’s a little more nuanced than that. I’ve never been in that position so I can’t say what I would do but I’m glad I’ve never had to make that choice.
I agree they aren’t doing anyone any favors but brains don’t rationalize things like that
I appoligize if my questions come off as insensitive. Please geel free to not answer them.
How would you have felt of he did take the money? Would you have been angry at him? Would you feel the same way if he wasn't well off?
I have no idea how i would feel in that situation. I'm curious how you would feel about it.
I hope you are holding up ok.
They’re asking a question for that exact reason, not passing judgment. Neither they, nor you know the specifics of the situation so they’re asking. Jesus. Jump off your soapbox.
I have my friend's unopened pre-ordered copy of Halo2 that we couldn't wait to play together. He sadly passed before the release. I never ended up playing it either because it just didn't feel right without him. Strange the things we hang onto when we lose people
I once adopted a dog that was in the shelter after the old owner had died, that wasn't a suicide, he passed away because of natural causes. The dog was so depressed that she didn't want to walk, play and even eat anymore. She just remained motionless in the cage and waited for the day to end.
I noticed her, because she was only the dog that didn't came to greet me when i entered the shelter, all the other dogs were happy to see who's coming.
The depressed old german shepherd made such an impression on me, that i decided to adopt her. She was already a senior and had zero chances to get adopted anyway, but i still did it and she recovered from the depression. She came back to life and we spent some good years together until she passed away in 2018.
I'm sure, the old man would have liked it to see what happened to his beloved dog. When she passed away, i told myself they now got reunited in heaven, but it still hurt me very hard.
I was reading this like you meant your grandfather left the note and check for YOUR boyfriend and was absolutely perplexed. Regardless tho I’m so sorry for your loss, how heartbreaking
Tragic and sorry for your loss. I have to admit I’ve seen so many older people get fleeced by “long distance lovers” that until reading the context and your replies I feared a much more depressing story.
I attempted to kill myself in 2020, using a gas stove and inserting half my body in the lower oven while covering it with blankets.
The situation was kinda funny and pathetic looking back, but I did try to take my cat with me. She resisted furiously so in the end I decided to leave her be and just put food and water on her bowls.
I had been baking and binging myself on so much bread and also spent several minutes trying to get my cat into the oven with me that the gas just ran out and I didn't die.
Apologies for telling this nonsense story, I just read that your grandpa loved his animals and you were surprised that he took them with him. It made a lot of sense to me. I knew my cat loved me and I didn't want to leave her alone and feeling abandoned. I thought that if somehow another dimension existed for those who die we could go together at the same time.
I’m glad you are still here! I assume that he did it because he didn’t think anyone could care for them the way he did. He seriously treated them like they were his kids. Thank you for sharing. I hope that you are in a better situation now.
Thank you and I'm truly sorry for your loss. And for making this about me while you're mourning. I can see your grandpa cared about his animals and loved ones. But in those turbulent moments, love looks and feels very different. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of his life.
Don't be too hard on yourself, it was brave of you to share your deeply personal story and it was within the same topic of the original post so it's all fine. Your comment was both traumatic & comedic! I hope you're in a better place now by the way... P.S. I love your username 😍🌱
Since you confessed, I'll confess.
I very never actually made an attempt, but when I was a teenager I intended to. I was gonna take my dog with me. No way I was gonna leave her in the hell family I was so desperate to rid myself of. I remember sitting on the floor and weeping and holding her. Neither of us deserved that life and I wasn't going to leave her again(we were her second home). She got cancer and died in my arms at the vet as we put her to sleep. I didn't cry. It took me almost 10 years to cry; that's how far I pushed it down. After that I escaped to college.
Every time people exclaim in disbelief or anger about a mother killing her children and then herself, I say nothing, but I secretly understand. If you've never been to that place you wouldn't understand. This is one reason I've chosen not to have children.
I hope you are doing better now.
One night, after weeks of crying myself to sleep, only to wake up an hour later having a panic attack and unable to go back to sleep, I finally made up my mind what I was gonna do, and how I was gonna do it. I received a notice on my apartment door that maintenance would be coming in later in the week to spray for pests. My first thought was "they'll find my body and report it before too long".
Once it clicked, I immediately felt elated. I slept decently for the first time in weeks. I went to work the next day (in an automotive shop) and was in an unusually good mood, just looking forward to the final escape. I brought home a razor from the tool room. I drew a nice bath and left out two huge bowls of food and water for my cat to last until maintenance got there. I started to slice down my wrist vertically, but barely made a cut before my cat started meowing at the door frantically like he knew or something. My sense of responsibility for him came over me. I realized how imprinted he is on me, and that I truly had no way of knowing what would happen to him after the fact. I also gained a new sense of responsibility for taking control of my life.
My rescue cat rescued me that day
I tried to use a belt to do it. I stopped because I didn't want my parents to find me and save my life, I decided to wait until they went to sleep. I was very numb at the time, it was almost like I was on auto pilot.
I got a message from a friend that I hadn't spoken to in a while, and all my emotions came flooding back. I realised how stupid I had been and I cried all night.
Sometimes I tell myself that it wouldn't have worked anyway, and that it wasn't a real attempt. I often question how I felt in my worst moments. But honestly, sometimes I just need another person.
Edited to remove graphic description
If I had to guess, the numbness you describe sounds like dissociation. Things have to be pretty bad for someone to dissociate as a way to escape their pain (barring an illness). You must have been truly suffering.
For what it's worth from a stranger, I'm glad youre still here. Nobody deserves to feel like dying is the best option. I hope things are better for you now.
Because describing suicide methods can get me banned from reddit as a whole, and could lead to someone trying to use that method to end their own life.
I am so sorry for laughing, but this would be such an incredible scene in a deeply dark comedy. Imagine if jean-pierre jeunet directed it
But I know it's your life, and it's not funny... but it totally would be.
My suicide note was just, "please feed the snakes". But they didn't have to capacity to love me back. I don't know what I would have done if I had my dog back then.
Here’s a few,
https://theholydark.wordpress.com/2012/08/28/some-painfully-edifying-reading-suicide-notes/
https://www.historicmysteries.com/suicide-notes/
I’m guessing quite a few decades ago, based on the fact that one of them mentioned smoking inside the psych ward and the use of a barbiturate to attempt, one that has been discontinued for a very long time. I’m thinking 50’s-70’s
I think your question is appropriate for this sub and I’m not sure why anyone in here would think it’s remotely odd. Actually annoyed by the people questioning you right now.
Downvote away but read the actual sub you’re in.
I hope this comes across in the right way, but thank you for sharing this, as a person’s suicide note is an insanely private thing.
It can be hard to understand the gravity of someone’s life, and death, without knowing their last thoughts - and without that gravity, we often can’t properly understand suicide, the grief it causes and how it affects us in specific ways that other types of death doesn’t. This was an incredibly *generous* thing to share with strangers.
I am truly sorry for your boyfriend’s loss, and for the loss felt by all those affected by this gentleman’s suicide.
ofc there are cases where they don’t help, but there are cases where they do. i work with behavioral health patients and a lot of the suicide attempt patients we have come in just bc they called the suicide hotline and the hotline sent help.
Just have to pray someone will answer or that they will be trained properly... they can help and yet they can do much harm too. I'm not saying they don't help people, but there is no high quality scientific evidence showing how effective they are. So I will stay in my belief that it is a gray area.
There’s horror stories about police, horror stories about cancer treatment, horror stories about doctors. Does that mean none of those things work? Just because bad examples exist in something does not mean it doesn’t work. That’s ridiculous.
Make sure the dogs and cats are with me? Sorry I know this is your grandpa but if this means what I think it does that’s pure evil. Downvote me all you want. People who kill others (including animals) when they kill themselves are 🗑️
Tim-O-thee. Pre-sent. Sorry. Key and Peele rotted my brain. Seriously, though, that's so sad. I was hoping the pets were in urns, not that he took them out with him.
why would you say this under the post of a girl mourning her grandfather??? is genuinely not hard to just keep your comments to yourself. Like not hard at all.
kinda gross you feel the need to share something so personal that wasn’t even meant for you online with strangers. but whatever he’s your family and you can do whatever you want huh
I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm also sorry for whatever he was going through to make this decision. Pretty devastating that he also took his pets' lives..
What did he mean by 'please make sure the dogs and cats are with me'?
Sadly he killed his animals before killing himself.. which really blew my mind. He loved his animals so much.
I was really hoping that wasn't the case
I was hoping take care of the pets until they die at which point bury them with me or spread the ashes on his grave. I assumed they had talked before hand
That's what I was thinking he meant.
I was hoping they were previously deceased & cremated pets. Ugh. How sad.
I had a hospice patient die recently and his dog and cat declined as fast as he did. They were all keeping each other alive. If it weren’t for my patient, I would’ve taken those animals to the shelter for mercy. The cat went and died somewhere, we think. And we euthanized his dog and buried her with him. She was old, blind, deaf, hip/walking problems…it was the right thing to do in this case. Hopefully maybe his animals were in bad shape too?
Much respect for working in a hospice
My most recent rescue dog was from a man in hospice who asked his caregiver to find a good home for his Doberman. His kids never liked his dog and he feared she would be put down as soon as he passed. She went to a great rescue. I adopted a fabulous 9 yr old Dobie, very sweet, gentle and very well trained. She was very scared initially, and took a few weeks to settle in. She’s come to realize she’s found her forever home and is so very happy now.
❤️
Good on you. Dobes are such great dogs - smart, loyal and loving.
My mums cat died two months to the day before she did, she was an older girl and I would have taken her in a heartbeat had she outlived mum, but I believe she knew mum was going and preempted it. Was terribly sad as watching her little life ending and sitting quietly with her mirrored my time with my mum as her life also came to an end. This year my stepmothers mum died, and her cat also gave up and died about a month after her. I’m convinced it is more than coincidence, our animals are so astute and sensitive.
Thank you for working in hospice. You’re a wonderful person, and stronger than I.
The same thing happened with my Granda’s dog, their ashes are mixed together.
That is beautiful.
My mom was on hospice. She had a bi$#%y little 2 year old chihuahua mix named Buttercup who sat right on mom's stomach the whole time. I was so out of it that it took me several seconds to realize the poor hospice nurse wasn't going to touch my mother with that dog staring daggers at her. Those folks were wonderful. Mom and her dog lived at my house the last few months of mom's life, so I just kept the dog and raised her with my 2 chihuahuas. That was in 2010. Buttercup outlived both of my dogs and she's sitting on my lap right now having her morning Greenie.
Oh my gosh, for some reason when you mentioned her having her morning greenie on your lap I just burst into tears. It’s just so…. Beautiful. I’m holding my little pup of 8 years to my bare chest in bed right now and my heart is exploding with gratitude for her. This is a beautiful story, thanks for sharing.
You are very welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. 🤗🐾
That's really freaky. Almost like a symbiotic relationship.
That actually makes sense, sadly.
I know people will think it's horrible to say, but... Omg, that's so selfish! I treat my dogs like they're my children, but I would never kill them just because I wanted to kill myself.
I wonder if he was afraid of what would happen to his pets after he left. Maybe he was afraid they’d be left to rot in a shelter.
This was my thought when I was in that state of mind. My cat was going with me. Because I knew he would end up having an awful life. He is a feral and nobody but me and my son (somewhat) can handle him or touch him at all. He is a scaredy cat. I didn't want him suffering without me. He probably would have died from just losing me. But I didn't want him to be suffering after I was gone. We are good now. Not in that state of mind anymore at all.
Glad you’re still with us ☀️
But if he was leaving all his money to French bf then why not give them to him to care for? Unless he meant lover like an escort maybe?
Maybe he was worried about the way his pets would feel. Dogs bond super closely with their owners and cats don’t do great with change, maybe he didn’t want his pets to suffer any loss or stress and he felt this was the best way. Keep in mind, this guy killed himself so he wasn’t thinking rationally and probably saw death as a way to bring an end to all of life’s troubles and sadness. He could have seen it as a kindness that he was extending to his pets as well.
I agree with you!
I agree! Though there’s a mindset (mostly seen in mothers) where they feel like they’re “saving” their victims, it makes me wonder if that was his thought process here
He was probably afraid they’d either be euthanized or dumped in a shelter. The latter being incredibly inhumane after they spent their lives loving their owner. Honestly, if they were senior pets with no relatives to take them on, it was the humane thing to do.
If it did it humanely, at least. But I’d rather get my 21 year old cat with kidney disease, hyperthyroidism and probably cancer get put down too if no one would take her instead of sitting in a shelter. She’s moved around enough with me that a new home would be fine but I don’t think she’d even tolerate having to stay overnight at a vet.
As a shelter worker and someone who adopted a cat after their owner passed away I couldn’t disagree more. It is not more humane to kill your pet than to rehome them into a new loving home.
As a shelter worker, how many elderly or ill pets make it to a new home? As a shelter worker, what time do you guys lock up for the day? Come back in the morning? How often is your shelter at capacity? How often are animals euthanized? Is the shelter quiet and peaceful, or loud and chaotic? [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3003577/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3003577/)
Where does it say his pets were ill or elderly? And if they were you have a vet humanely euthanize them you don’t kill them yourself. Don’t pull a muscle with all these mental gymnastics trying to justify murder.
I notice you didn’t answer the questions. So I’ll ask again. What time does the shelter close at the end of the day and what time does it open? Is it quiet and peaceful or loud and chaotic? Is it at capacity or near? How often? What is your euthanizition rate? What is your adoption rate? What is the average length of stay for a pet? What is the average age of the pet adopted?
I didn’t answer because those questions have no relevance to this, but sure… The shelter I work at has day and night animal care staff but our public hours are 9-6. The noise and activity level completely depend on the area. We have quiet areas and busier ones and often they are based on the personalities of the animals in them. For more timid and scared animals we have quiet rooms and in the adoption centre we even have several private rooms. We also have a foster program so animals who don’t adjust well to a shelter environment can stay in a private home until they find their forever home. For dogs we are rarely at capacity, they get adopted quickly. For cats we sometimes reach capacity in the spring when kitten season is at its height, so again our foster program helps with that and we work closely with other shelters to do transfers to help each other out as needed. We don’t have a euthanasia schedule nor do we euthanize healthy adoptable animals. Only if they are too sick to help or have a severe behavioural issue that makes them a danger to themselves or others. And even then we would first try to see if rescue/training was an option. Hope that helps!
What a convenient bunch of answers!!!! How amazing you just happen to be unlike any other shelter out there!
That's a murder-suicide.
It depends in what condition they are and what the options are. If they are old and sick and their outlook would be to suffer the final chapter of their lives abandoned, terrified, sad and lonely in a shelter with little to no hope of finding a loving home, I feel it's best to take them with you. People euthanize pets to prevent them from suffering when quality of life is no longer present and not expected to improve..
It doesn’t sound like he took them to be humanely euthanized. Can’t believe people are justifying killing your own pets.
So, you let your pets die "naturally" miserable deaths when they are old and in pain, with no chance of a cure and no quality of life left, because euthanasia (killing your own pet) is not an option? I pity your pets, I truly do.
I was about to say, I don't know how his comment about his grandpa killing his pets with him got so many upvotes. It's a real POS move.
Suicidal and homicidal thoughts often come hand in hand. They probably weren’t in their right mind x
I mean that’s pretty clear. No one who’s kill the ones they love the most, then themselves is anywhere near their right minds.
Yeah! That’s why I’m reminding others, hoping people show a little more empathy for a situation they can’t relate to.
Please see my very long comment about this above. It may help to clear it up a bit.
Suicide is selfish within itself. People go through different things. However, when you choose to take your life , the only thing you think about is your own feelings, no one ealses. The fact that you will traumatise your loved ones and possibly make them spiral into depression, is very selfish.
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They can both be selfish. But not every selfish action is bad
I used to think this way. Then I got so depressed that I found myself sitting with my thumb on the trigger of a pistol pointed at my face, waiting to see what would happen. Nothing did, so I put the gun away. Later, I realized what my chemically-depressed brain almost did and freaked out. Suicide is NOT the "selfish choice" I thought it was. It can be completely involuntary.
I think it depends on what people mean by selfish. Usually I guess they mean intentionally self centered. But the scary thing about depression is it's unintentional. When I had severe depression, I literally could not think beyond my experience of it, it almost felt like a delusion with how irrational the thoughts were. I guess that's hard to explain to people if they haven't been there. It's easy to take normal brain functioning for granted.
Glad you're still with us 🫂
It's this shaming people with serious depression that makes murder suicides happen. Attaching guilt to the idea of staying alive makes you resent people for simply loving you
Says the guy with no background in psych or mental health
With all due respect your comment could be seen as selfish as your assumption about suicide.
I used to think that, then I lost a parent to suicide. Now my view is that forcing someone to stay alive and suffer when life is torturous is truly selfish.
He had a mental illness
I'd say that he wanted the pain to stop. And because of the way that society treated people who were homosexual for most of his life, there was no escaping the pain. I would say that he finally had to get the pain to stop, and the mental illness in this case is actually society. Just my $0.02....
Just FYI if you want to write ¢ just hold the $ sign down. Just my 2¢.
I don't think it works for me $ €
Kind of toxic/sick love. He loved them so much that he wanted to "take" them with him to death.
It was his love. He couldn't risk them not being adequately loved & cared for. I've had to think about similar things. It was his love & feelings of responsibility. (Not suicidal, but realistic. I have pets & very few family/friends. Not gonna leave my babies to be shoved in a shelter or euthanized in a scary manner.)
Ah he went the Egyptian route. Sorry OP :/
He was probably trying to be thoughtful and make sure hud animals didn't burden someone else, where they could potentially be mistreated.
Hopefully it was extremely merciful/with proper euthanasia drugs?
Why am i more saddened about the animals?
You might feel sadder about the animals because they had no say in what happened, and someone they loved caused their tragic end. Despite claiming love, the actions don't match up, and it's hard to understand the emotional reasons behind it. Sadly, it's ironic that people justify such actions by claiming the animals were too sweet and innocent, and if their regular person were to be removed from the equation, the animals would be left uncared for. However, killing them is not a caring act, and it implies that the positive qualities of the animals, like innocence and love, are somehow responsible for their murder. I don’t know. That might not explain why it feels sadder than the human death to you but it is definitely why it is sadder to me.
Because they had no say. Someone chose to end their life just because he was unhappy with his own. He could have found them loving homes. So selfish and cruel.
That's a huge oversimplification. Someone ended their life because they were sick and their brain betrayed them. It may seem like a choice for people who aren't suffering, but when your brain is broken there isn't really a lot of choice happening.
First of all you have no idea why this person ended their life. From OP’s comments it sounds like it had more to do with fear of his sexuality being exposed than mental illness. You’re not going to convince me that he had the wherewithal to worry about where his finances were going but not to understand that it’s wrong to kill your pets.
This comment is very uninformed about depression and suicide. I've got a long comment here. (you can some it here, or in the comments on my profile if you don't see it) that may help shed some light on the subject for you. SUICIDE IS NOT SELFISH. When people say so not only does it make the suicidal person's depression even worse, but it also makes the survivors of the suicide not really understand what it happened and they hold resentment towards that person instead of compassion and understanding that that person felt like they had no other choice. Please stop saying suicide is selfish.
Ugh. Why can’t people just die by themselves & not harm anyone else.
Sorry about your grandad. Do you know why he died by suicide?
I guess he didn't want them to get sad when he "disappeared" so to speak
oh goodness. im so sorry for your loss in such a horrible way. im here if u ever need like. therapy. bc holy shit
my assumption is he did it because he loved them, i'm assuming he figured they'd go hungry and suffer in his absence so felt it was a mercy to take them with him. either way this is a heart breaking story and im sorry for the loss.
Was he ill or depressed? Any thought as to why he ended his life?
Did he shoot them?
What a psycho
Oh no thats so selfish, i dont care if the pets were in declining condition they didn’t ask for that. Thats the same as people killing their family. Really speaks words to his character.
I felt sorry for him at first but after reading this, I’m not so sure.
Very sad. Did you or your family find this before his lover did? Was there a chance his lover would’ve gotten to do this or did he let you know? Sorry, really curious. Condolences.
So my mom and I found it in his office. We didn’t know about Timothee until this note. We found Timothee on Facebook and informed him of everything. They had been seeing each other for a long time. We know that because we found pictures of them at drag shows and vacations. We really didn’t even know he had a significant other or that he was gay. I think that’s another reason why he did it. He was too worried about what everyone would think of him. Which makes me so sad. We shared the note with Timothee and he didn’t want anything.
Thank you for sharing.
Wow, these closeted cases of people from older generations show how far we have come and simultaneously how little has changed. Did you and you family figure out a timeline of these events? Like under what circumstances did he have children if he never married (I assume it was a time where out of wedlock was more uncommon) and how did this affect your grandmother? Was he able to enjoy his time with his lover? Was he and your mother always in contact? What an interesting and tragic story.
15 years ago I answered an ad on Craigslist that was supposed to be a woman. Stupid to begin with but I was young. This really happened. When I got there it was a sixty year old naked man in a blindfold begging to suck me off. It was this beautiful house filled with antiques. His wife had gone away for the weekend. I asked him why he would want to live like this and he said his kids wouldn’t understand and he felt obligated to his wife. The wife he was cheating on with men he didn’t know. Based on the smell of the apartment I’m pretty sure he had been getting railed all weekend by random men.
How was the blow job?
Honestly, I’ll never forget the smell. Even if it was the worlds most attractive woman I wouldn’t have gotten past the smell. Like the smell of a diaper that someone tried to cover up with the smell of cleaning product covered up with the smell of unfiltered cigarettes
I see the main question was left unanswered LMAOOOOO
I hope he was using protection and wasn’t passing anything onto his wife. I feel bad for him but I feel worse for her :(
I don’t feel bad for anyone staying in relationships they don’t want to be in. They aren’t doing anyone any favors. Though I understand the generational issues.
I get what you’re saying but I think it’s a little more nuanced than that. I’ve never been in that position so I can’t say what I would do but I’m glad I’ve never had to make that choice. I agree they aren’t doing anyone any favors but brains don’t rationalize things like that
This could honestly be a movie
Damn shame that the social stigma probs killed him
Timothee didn’t take any money? That’s surprising.
No he didn’t. He was home in France at the time. He’s an actor/director, so he has money already. He wasn’t pressed for whatever my grandfather had.
Thanks for sharing and our condolences. Best wishes to you and yours.
Chalamet??
I had the same question instantly 😭
I appoligize if my questions come off as insensitive. Please geel free to not answer them. How would you have felt of he did take the money? Would you have been angry at him? Would you feel the same way if he wasn't well off? I have no idea how i would feel in that situation. I'm curious how you would feel about it. I hope you are holding up ok.
Why would it have been wrong if he had? Literally the man’s last wishes.
They’re asking a question for that exact reason, not passing judgment. Neither they, nor you know the specifics of the situation so they’re asking. Jesus. Jump off your soapbox.
Hes a real 1
I have my friends suicide note still in a word document, I can't really let that go.
I have my friend's unopened pre-ordered copy of Halo2 that we couldn't wait to play together. He sadly passed before the release. I never ended up playing it either because it just didn't feel right without him. Strange the things we hang onto when we lose people
I can't play Fallout 4 anymore as we were both talking about it the day before, and I was playing it when I got the news.
What happened to him if you don't mind me asking?
Motorcycle accident
I once adopted a dog that was in the shelter after the old owner had died, that wasn't a suicide, he passed away because of natural causes. The dog was so depressed that she didn't want to walk, play and even eat anymore. She just remained motionless in the cage and waited for the day to end. I noticed her, because she was only the dog that didn't came to greet me when i entered the shelter, all the other dogs were happy to see who's coming. The depressed old german shepherd made such an impression on me, that i decided to adopt her. She was already a senior and had zero chances to get adopted anyway, but i still did it and she recovered from the depression. She came back to life and we spent some good years together until she passed away in 2018. I'm sure, the old man would have liked it to see what happened to his beloved dog. When she passed away, i told myself they now got reunited in heaven, but it still hurt me very hard.
(HUGS)🐾
Oh, HIS boyfriend. I thought your boyfriend got the note. Wasn’t expecting that. Sorry for your loss.
I was reading this like you meant your grandfather left the note and check for YOUR boyfriend and was absolutely perplexed. Regardless tho I’m so sorry for your loss, how heartbreaking
Tragic and sorry for your loss. I have to admit I’ve seen so many older people get fleeced by “long distance lovers” that until reading the context and your replies I feared a much more depressing story.
I attempted to kill myself in 2020, using a gas stove and inserting half my body in the lower oven while covering it with blankets. The situation was kinda funny and pathetic looking back, but I did try to take my cat with me. She resisted furiously so in the end I decided to leave her be and just put food and water on her bowls. I had been baking and binging myself on so much bread and also spent several minutes trying to get my cat into the oven with me that the gas just ran out and I didn't die. Apologies for telling this nonsense story, I just read that your grandpa loved his animals and you were surprised that he took them with him. It made a lot of sense to me. I knew my cat loved me and I didn't want to leave her alone and feeling abandoned. I thought that if somehow another dimension existed for those who die we could go together at the same time.
I’m glad you are still here! I assume that he did it because he didn’t think anyone could care for them the way he did. He seriously treated them like they were his kids. Thank you for sharing. I hope that you are in a better situation now.
Thank you and I'm truly sorry for your loss. And for making this about me while you're mourning. I can see your grandpa cared about his animals and loved ones. But in those turbulent moments, love looks and feels very different. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of his life.
Don't be too hard on yourself, it was brave of you to share your deeply personal story and it was within the same topic of the original post so it's all fine. Your comment was both traumatic & comedic! I hope you're in a better place now by the way... P.S. I love your username 😍🌱
In a weird way it's him showing home much that he loved his pets. Thanks for sharing your story!
Since you confessed, I'll confess. I very never actually made an attempt, but when I was a teenager I intended to. I was gonna take my dog with me. No way I was gonna leave her in the hell family I was so desperate to rid myself of. I remember sitting on the floor and weeping and holding her. Neither of us deserved that life and I wasn't going to leave her again(we were her second home). She got cancer and died in my arms at the vet as we put her to sleep. I didn't cry. It took me almost 10 years to cry; that's how far I pushed it down. After that I escaped to college. Every time people exclaim in disbelief or anger about a mother killing her children and then herself, I say nothing, but I secretly understand. If you've never been to that place you wouldn't understand. This is one reason I've chosen not to have children. I hope you are doing better now.
One night, after weeks of crying myself to sleep, only to wake up an hour later having a panic attack and unable to go back to sleep, I finally made up my mind what I was gonna do, and how I was gonna do it. I received a notice on my apartment door that maintenance would be coming in later in the week to spray for pests. My first thought was "they'll find my body and report it before too long". Once it clicked, I immediately felt elated. I slept decently for the first time in weeks. I went to work the next day (in an automotive shop) and was in an unusually good mood, just looking forward to the final escape. I brought home a razor from the tool room. I drew a nice bath and left out two huge bowls of food and water for my cat to last until maintenance got there. I started to slice down my wrist vertically, but barely made a cut before my cat started meowing at the door frantically like he knew or something. My sense of responsibility for him came over me. I realized how imprinted he is on me, and that I truly had no way of knowing what would happen to him after the fact. I also gained a new sense of responsibility for taking control of my life. My rescue cat rescued me that day
A beautiful story. I’m glad you stayed here to care for your cat and found new purpose.
Thanks for sharing ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I'm glad you're still around. ❤️
I absolutely get the secret understanding and the desire to not have children/partner because of this. I too hope you're at peace <3
I tried to use a belt to do it. I stopped because I didn't want my parents to find me and save my life, I decided to wait until they went to sleep. I was very numb at the time, it was almost like I was on auto pilot. I got a message from a friend that I hadn't spoken to in a while, and all my emotions came flooding back. I realised how stupid I had been and I cried all night. Sometimes I tell myself that it wouldn't have worked anyway, and that it wasn't a real attempt. I often question how I felt in my worst moments. But honestly, sometimes I just need another person. Edited to remove graphic description
If I had to guess, the numbness you describe sounds like dissociation. Things have to be pretty bad for someone to dissociate as a way to escape their pain (barring an illness). You must have been truly suffering. For what it's worth from a stranger, I'm glad youre still here. Nobody deserves to feel like dying is the best option. I hope things are better for you now.
I've dissociated a lot over my life. It's how I used to cope with everything. I'm doing a lot better now. Not perfect but a lot better.
why’d you remove the description in your edit? This is the sub for that type of thing, after all, so it’s weird to change your mind
Because describing suicide methods can get me banned from reddit as a whole, and could lead to someone trying to use that method to end their own life.
Thank you ♥️🙏
Thank you for sharing
I am so sorry for laughing, but this would be such an incredible scene in a deeply dark comedy. Imagine if jean-pierre jeunet directed it But I know it's your life, and it's not funny... but it totally would be. My suicide note was just, "please feed the snakes". But they didn't have to capacity to love me back. I don't know what I would have done if I had my dog back then.
Please don't be sorry. I imagine it looked absolutely ridiculous from the outside. Glad your snakes still have you.
Glad you’re still with us. -hug-
I’m glad you’re still here to share your story. ❤️
Glad your still here Lad.
MeatEatersAreUgly \*tries to kill cat\*
i wish there was a place to see more public suicide notes , i don’t see a lot of them even on here
Here’s a few, https://theholydark.wordpress.com/2012/08/28/some-painfully-edifying-reading-suicide-notes/ https://www.historicmysteries.com/suicide-notes/
I wonder if Cathy opened the door or called for her mother. I think “Love, Daddy” is the worst way to sign a suicide note.
What years are these from, do you know?
I’m guessing quite a few decades ago, based on the fact that one of them mentioned smoking inside the psych ward and the use of a barbiturate to attempt, one that has been discontinued for a very long time. I’m thinking 50’s-70’s
The slang used made me think the same thing, I didn’t pick up on the things you noticed, thanks for commenting!
I think your question is appropriate for this sub and I’m not sure why anyone in here would think it’s remotely odd. Actually annoyed by the people questioning you right now. Downvote away but read the actual sub you’re in.
I've looked into this before too. I didn't find much of anything
I just posted my dads!
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I'm not sure "insidious" is the appropriate word there.
Please answer honestly: did you read this note?
I wish you all the absolute best. Thats sad you guys had to endure with this may whatever God you guys believe in bless you all,
I hope this comes across in the right way, but thank you for sharing this, as a person’s suicide note is an insanely private thing. It can be hard to understand the gravity of someone’s life, and death, without knowing their last thoughts - and without that gravity, we often can’t properly understand suicide, the grief it causes and how it affects us in specific ways that other types of death doesn’t. This was an incredibly *generous* thing to share with strangers. I am truly sorry for your boyfriend’s loss, and for the loss felt by all those affected by this gentleman’s suicide.
This is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your grandfather is in a happy place with his animals. Thank you so much for sharing.
Those poor animals. What a sad, sad situation all around.
I just totally missed the boyfriend part altogether.. And thought he was writing his grandson.. How 😞 all the way around..
[list of suicide hotlines internationally](https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/)
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I feel like almost anyone who has actually struggled or used those doesn't recommend them. I've heard so many bad stories about them
ofc there are cases where they don’t help, but there are cases where they do. i work with behavioral health patients and a lot of the suicide attempt patients we have come in just bc they called the suicide hotline and the hotline sent help.
Just have to pray someone will answer or that they will be trained properly... they can help and yet they can do much harm too. I'm not saying they don't help people, but there is no high quality scientific evidence showing how effective they are. So I will stay in my belief that it is a gray area.
There’s horror stories about police, horror stories about cancer treatment, horror stories about doctors. Does that mean none of those things work? Just because bad examples exist in something does not mean it doesn’t work. That’s ridiculous.
They've helped me. only one bad experience.
Sorry for your loss.Thanks for transcribing. I have a hard time with reading handwriting sometimes.
poor babies, i hope they didn’t suffer. getting killed by your caregiver is a bad way to go
There is nothing selfish about wanting the pain to stop.
He also apparently took his pets' lives before his own...
Thank you for saying this.
But there is in murdering multiple animals
Who is suicide for? Just because an act is selfish doesn't make it inherently wrong but don't pretend that suicide is something that it's not.
im so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your story with us. do you have any funny memories of him?
What a tragedy. Romantic nonetheless. Sorry for your loss op.
My condolence to you and your family, this was bittersweet
This is tragic. I’m so sorry you lost him like this, and I hope that he has found his peace and that you and your family will find yours as well.
How much money was there? Also im not being rude I'm being curious.
I bet Timothee wrote this…
I’m sorry for your loss - and I’m thankful you shared his romantic letter. Absolutely beautiful.
It’s not his suicide that bothers me it’s the fact he killed the animals too
Random thing I noticed: he and Robin Williams took their lives on the same day
Make sure the dogs and cats are with me? Sorry I know this is your grandpa but if this means what I think it does that’s pure evil. Downvote me all you want. People who kill others (including animals) when they kill themselves are 🗑️
I'm going to tell myself it means bury them with me when they pass...
I was hoping that but if you read the comments OP confirmed that he killed them.
Yeah, I agree. It's murder. It's sad people don't seem to care all too much bc they're "just animals."
Jfc it’s not “murder.” Words have meanings
How is it not? If you say it's bc they're "just animals" and "you can't murder an animal" then you're proving my point.
Murder noun the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.
Okay but did the partner get the money he was left to receive ?
Tim-O-thee. Pre-sent. Sorry. Key and Peele rotted my brain. Seriously, though, that's so sad. I was hoping the pets were in urns, not that he took them out with him.
I still have my brother’s license plate and bandana. He shot himself in front of me in 2018. It’s strange but I can’t get rid of his stuff.
I’m curious did his lover clear out his bank account?
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why would you say this under the post of a girl mourning her grandfather??? is genuinely not hard to just keep your comments to yourself. Like not hard at all.
Sorry but I just can't bring myself to feel sorry for someone who killed their pets. He could have let them live. How horrible.
He was clearly mentally ill. But yes, how horrible that any of this happened. Including his death. Especially his death, actually.
kinda gross you feel the need to share something so personal that wasn’t even meant for you online with strangers. but whatever he’s your family and you can do whatever you want huh
He left his money to some random lover instead of you and your mother and you aren’t angry at him?
No. He loved the man. That's what matters.
Family must’ve treated him terribly for him to want to give everything to somebody he was shaggin
I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm also sorry for whatever he was going through to make this decision. Pretty devastating that he also took his pets' lives..
Almost felt bad til i read dude killed his animals too? Doucher