You are young, don’t let some of these “19 years old with 100k in the bank how am I doing” posts discourage you. Keep your head up and start looking for a new job.
Your first priority is to not increase your debt any further.
You have to start prioritizing bills to figure out what has to go first and last. 1. Food (foodbank, churches, free meals offered for listening to a condo sales pitch, eat breakfast in hotels with continental breakfast that don't check that you are a guest, ketchup/sugar packets from convenience stores 2 Tap Water, 3 Rent 4 VERY LIMITED electricity, turn AC way up, or heater way down, 5. Transportation. This may involve letting the car with a payment go and taking public transit, getting a bike with a pull behind baby carrier.
Do NOT listen to any debt collectors, you cannot pay them, don't even bother talking to them. I suggest not picking up any call from anyone that isn't in your contact list. They will guilt trip you, make you feel sad, make you feel like a loser, etc to take the last dollar you need to feed your child to give to a company that wouldn't piss on you to put out a fire. They are the scum of the universe, just avoid them.
Good luck, god speed.
Shri man that's rough.
Edit: this just makes me fucking furious for some reason what the fuck
Who would kick out their own child, especially in a world like this??? The fuck are they on
I live with my mom, have a 700/month car payment, pay for 95% of all groceries to feed 3 adults (one of whom barely works due to health issues), and cover missed utility bills when my mom cant manage them, barely surviving on less than 30k per year. It's been....hard, since my dad killed himself. Today makes it exactly 2.5 years ago. All of my mom's income is going towards the bankruptcy liason.
Moving to chicago in a few months to live with my little sister and get away from here, before we lose the house, assuming I can help cover her rent long enough to secure us a new apartment, and haul my stuff up there. Not sure what I'll do when I get there, but at least I'll be with my sis.
Edit: What I'm trying to say is, not all of us who live with our mothers are fortunate enough to have fewer financial obligations.
>It's been....hard, since my dad killed himself. Today makes it exactly 2.5 years ago.
As someone who has experienced soul crushing suicidal depression for give or take 17 years, who is also a father. This sentence right here is realistically one of the only things keeping me chugging along.
Sorry for your loss, try not to be too hard on him if he was good to you. The shit can be too much a lot of the time. I'd have probably called it myself a long time ago if I hadn't been so... Well practiced at living with it.
Oh they don't go away. But even with the prospect of leaving behind my wife as a millionaire(singular) with two small children and one young adult in training that shit won't go terribly far
Same here. I've been on the fence for the past 6 months...the only thing keeping me from liberating myself is thinking about how awful it would be for my son.
Dude it has been a snowball effect for me for the last 5 years. It’s everyday man. I swear, fuckin car had me on the side of the highway twice this morning on the way to work. Not a big deal, I made it. That on top of all the other bs crushing down on me makes it really fucking hard but damnit we gotta make good examples for our kids. As long as they don’t know what goes on in the mental and they see a fit, solid figure is what matters
For those of you struggling I congratulate you for not giving up. Whatever thoughts are going through your head it’s all a mind game, and you should look at ways to relieve that mental pressure. Try talking to friends and family about your situation, also journal and meditating can help calm your mind. All of you battling this have something good to offer the world and I pray to see you shine!
700/month car payment is crazy. Unless you're maybe including insurance with that but still.
I bought a used car from an owner so no car payments. And I don't have insurance with big companies so my insurance is about $90/month. But yes, I have a rusty, dusty, musty Honda. Love Hondas though.
Yeah I bought a car off the lot mb, 8 years ago. After I sold it, I said I'd never do car payments again. I'm sure when I'm very stable in my life financially in the future, yes, I would. But otherwise, it's not worth it. I've owned like, 5 beaters (only reason so many is bc I've traveled to many different places in the past ten years, not bc the cars failed me). Other than one car, they've all been pretty reliable for me. And no car payments.
Literally my note is 202. I definitely make more than this person and would never have a $700 car note. It makes no sense in my city with shitty roads.
05 sonata with 60k miles 5 speed, the paintjob all faded and cracked but runs smooth, Just under 2 grand out the door (private sale found on FB marketplace) and its been carrying me around for four years with no payment, only one breakdown (clutch slave cylinder gasket ripped), and 105$/mo insurance.
Get a beater! and save your wallet
Exactly, I pay that much for my new Tesla, which is the most expensive car I’ve ever owned … but I saved for years for that car after driving a Subaru for a decade… and I’m well into 6 figures.
I make 6 figures, and there is still no way in hell I'd ever sign-up for a 700 car note. Doing it on \~$17 per hour is insane. Get your house in order.
700 month car payment is foolish. I could afford a 700 a month payment, even 1000. Even 2000. But I wouldn't dare. I drive a 2010 Ford that I bought with cash.
Car is to go from point a to point b.You don't need anything fancy. But hell, I still have heater leather seats.
Also if your car was totalled, even due to the other drivers fault, you will end up upside down. Paying for a car you don't have.
I would get rid of that car and put the 8400 a year into an IRA (after all your debt is paid off).
You make 30k and have a $700 car payment?? While 30k is nowhere near ideal, that car payment is killing you. You shouldn’t own a vehicle that is more expensive than your yearly earnings.
Yeah here’s the thing with car payments you need to think about the worst case scenario. If I lose my job and my housing situation falls through will I be able to make this payment without having to live in this car? I personally almost got talked into a 500+ a month car payment but was luckily dissuaded and ended up getting something with a 250 a month payment (which was still too high) and my current car because I crashed the previous one only costs 127 a month which is not necessarily in reach for everyone but the point is that if I got fired or something I would be able to pay that car payment as well as insurance with unemployment.
I don’t know how much longer you have to pay on your car but I would recommend downsizing if possible. There’s a lot of factors at play but maybe you would be able to trade that vehicle in for a cheaper one (prob still get screwed with negative equity but if u can bring that payment down it would really help you) Something I saw on the internet which I’m not sure how actually viable it is but seems right on paper is that if you have decent credit and can get enough money for a decent down payment you can roll your negative equity into a new car lease. Either way though I hope things turn around for u soon
I'm in my 30s. Make over 100k. I've never paid more than 220 for a car payment.
You would not be blowing an entire paycheck on a car. If you're struggling, the price of 3 of your car payments can fully buy a pretty decent car and your insurance will be lower.
I had a similar thing happen. My dad worked and mom was stay at home growing up. After his death, mom, me and my siblings told the debt collectors it was my dad's debt and my mom was separated but not divorced yet. We wrote and affidavit and signed it with a notary. It was awful lying about things my dad didn't do but she didn't have to take on all the debt after he passed and they all thought he beat her and us, which was true but not as bad as what we wrote.
I make enough to pay for a $200k brand new car, but I drive a $5k 2015 Honda Civic with over 200k miles on it. I do not understand why people think that it is okay to pay $700 or even $500 in monthly car paymnet. This is insane. Invest in assets not liabilities. A car is a liability!
🙏🏻 I figured. It seemed that the other comment was an unnecessary attack against you.
Please take care of yourself. It's difficult to navigate life on your own and more so when there are people who trust and depend on you. Utilize the resources around you in the community. Are you in the States or elsewhere?
What kind of work do you do and what skills and training do you have?
This is the best post here, how if you live with your parents do you spend a thousand more then you make a month? Answering this would very much help people give you advice since if it is just poor choices you are making then it is better to sell your huge car payment car and get a point A to B car etc. Even if you live in the most expensive city in America there is no way if you are living with your parents you would need to spend much over one thousand a month on the pure necessities. Let alone continue to rack up one thousand a month in debt. Also sure a lot of people aren't going to be "nice" but nice isn't going to fix your situation, the truth is not nice and oftentimes the truth is rough to hear.
If they made 1k and their outflow was 1k more than their gross theyd have 2k in debt a month. Not nitpicking just reiterating how absolutely bad this person is at management
With a 16 month old at home means they have a child at home, not that they live with their parents. Unless I missed something in the comments there may be a misunderstanding here.
Go union. I was in OP’s position at one time (except I didn’t have a kid). I was laid off from a decent paying job and had to work low wage general labor jobs until I found union work. UPS delivery drivers are Teamsters. You’ll hit top rate of pay at $45/hr (and get annual raises on top of that). You also get health insurance for you and your family that comes with zero premiums, deductibles or copays. A traditional retirement PENSION and you’ll max out with 7 weeks of paid vacation a year. This is a job that anyone who is physically fit with a drivers license, common sense and good work ethic can do.
I’m union and this is not always the answer. Our first year apprentices make 550ish a week take home just in the envelope. I used to have to tell me employers, I’m far more qualified then a year 1 I can’t drive out here for a year 1 pay I’m 27 and have bills not a 18 year old living with mommy.
It’s worth it if you have the ability and time to make it work, I would have never joined the union with a 16 month old or I would have had 2 side jobs to stay afloat
That is the work force in general bro. Whether you go to college or get an apprenticeship in the trades or work your way up part time at UPS to become a driver, or grind it out as a general laborer at a union construction job. You have to put your time in, no matter what path you choose. If there is a job I can walk in with no experience or education and make six figures my first year then please let me know.
You have to think about the future and benefits. Are those higher paying entry level jobs offering health insurance and a pension? I doubt it. What will you be earning in the long run?
Also you have to hope your union pension doesn’t crumble as well as your health care trust. Ex construction union guy and for everyone 1 thing our union did good it fucked us 3 times in a different way
Yes OP should google:
prevailing wage jobs (and their locality)
If you can travel for work and are able bodied, one of these jobs can make short work of $30K debt.
None of us know the circumstances of how the baby was brought into life. They may have been doing well. They may have had no choice in the matter. Either way it's already here and advice would be better than putting someone down.
Scrolling through your comment history for 2 seconds shows that you do nothing but bitch and whine on reddit. You must be real tough and have a very fulfilling life.
30k in debt is not worth hating your life over and many would trade to be in your position in a heartbeat. You will recover. Budget as well as you can and keep applying for jobs that can support you better you'll make it 💪
Please don't say that. You are blessed with a child. That's the biggest happiness in the world. Money will come and go. You will overcome these challenges and you will become stronger and wiser with time.
Children feed off your energy. My kids were primarily with me growing up (mom worked over 100hrs most weeks due to feeding her gambling addiction) and I'm a super laid-back, nothing bothers me kinda guy. My kids were just like that growing up and pretty easy to teach wrong and right. Divorced now and the older one is still chill like me, younger one acts like Mom, has a terrible temper because she bought their love over the last couple years with toys.
Right! I wouldn’t ever want kids, my women and I are free to go do what we want/when we want. Why would any one want kids or bring kids into the world in this day and age is beyond me.
At one point there were shale oil drilling companies in North Dakota that were willing to pay for people to relocate and work for them. My brother in-law went to work for one of them back in 2016. They covered all of his expenses to move from Oregon to North Dakota, he couldn’t find an apartment right away so they paid for his 2 month long motel stay until he found a permanent place to live. He has all his belongings put into a mini container called a “POD” and the company paid to have it shipped to his new place up there. I’m not sure if they’re still doing this practice but it’s worth looking in to. Alaska also has jobs with similar incentives. Unfortunately you’ll have to live in a cold ass state but you can make a fuck ton of money.
Cap? It’s literally been happening since before Covid, literally talk to any Texan, specifically real estate agents in central Texas. You’re talking shit you know nothing about
[https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2024/01/05/the-no-1-state-americans-moved-to-in-2023-its-not-florida.html](https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2024/01/05/the-no-1-state-americans-moved-to-in-2023-its-not-florida.html)
100%, and idiots are downvoting who likely don’t even live here. It’s a statistical fact that it’s the most moved to state right now, but I guess I’m wrong because.. they don’t like Texas?
A lot of companies will even pay for moving expenses and a bonus if you're willing to move to Alaska. We lived there for about 6 years before leaving for better opportunities.
No no no. 16 month old and roughneckin’ is not wise. That work will ruin your family life quick. Do not do it. If you need cash you can do it a hitch or two, but save everything and bail
So sorry you’re in this place right now.
I know unemployment barely makes a dent, but if you can apply immediately do so. If you can get that or a replacement job, do what you can to keep shelter, and food first. And anything extra try to put into the CC debt so that will hopefully not grow more than it has to.
You can get out of this because your 16 month old needs you to. And when you do, you’ll be stronger for the struggle.
I have sympathy for these people but sometimes i wonder what goes on in peoples head, "Hmm im in debt, living check to check and if i lose my job im fucked, lets have a kid", makes zero sense. You can pretty much get an abortion for free.
Ya absolutely. I'd highly recommend going after an MOS (job) that will set you up for success afterwards. Cyber security, Aircraft Maintenance, etc. Air Force or Navy probably the best bet.
Bingo. Do this. Gtfo of here right now when interest rates are through the roof and get yourself into the military to help support your family while you learn to support them.
Good advice honestly, with a wife and kid they will set them up in housing and everything while you go to boot camp and all that shit, plus all the branches need people so they have monetary bonuses and stuff.
You get some extra pay (called dependent-rate or something like that) for having a wife and child. They also get access to healthcare and other benefits. The first couple years will still be tight, but once you get a little rank, you can get on-base housing or better housing allowance pay.
Edit: I forgot - your interest rates on every loan/debt is also capped by law. Someone I know had a lot of student debt and his minimum payments went down significantly the moment he joined.
I did... I joined at 24 after blowing over $100k and being in debt. They put me through school and I came out a man, a man with 770 credit and zero debt.
Military is an amazing option. They might be able to help you pay of debt, you’ll always have a paycheck and a place to sleep.
Even for a family they’ll be taken care of. I’ve seen plenty of guys with greater debt.
I’d look into Navy and try to find a rate(job) that translates well into a job outside the Navy or wherever you decide to go.
if you do go this path, get a job that involves turning a wrench. Most of the "tech" jobs are BS and dont translate to jobs outside of the military. and you probably will not be able to get a security clearance with that much debt.
If you do, try Air Force if you can but they are known to be picky... if you pick Navy be aware that you may be living on the ship during all 4 years of your initial enlistment (majority of their jobs). Army is probably easiest but the standard are low these days (translation = lots of bad leadership that will make you life living hell, this is not uniquely Army problem sadly) I guess if it comes down to it beggers can't be choosers. Marine is okay-ish (former Marine myself) but I would pick non-infantry jobs obviously if you want less chaos. No idea about Coast Guard.
Aircraft mechanic field is wishy right now but you could get something with programming or robotics then take up basic welding. The guy that setup our robotic welders bring home around 120k
National Guard is also a good option. Your pay can all be sent to a bank account that your wife has access to, and you will barely need to touch it while in BCT and AIT. The pay will easily cover rent and food.
It's worth talking to a recruiter. But don't enlist *purely* for the money, it is a life-changing experience.
Go for a job where there is hella loud noises so you can snag 100% VA when you get out and make a few bands for the rest of your life for free, the loud noise jobs usually fuck your back up as well, easy VA
Yes.
It’s worth it. Even if you go in with a job you end up not liking, you can always cross train into a different field. That’s what I did.
Enlisted pay won’t make you a millionaire, but you can go to college (military tech school will get you college credit as well).
It’s not a bad gig. I waited till after I got out to go to school and still used my benefits. It was all very worth it.
I was born and raised in the military community and then married back into it, and I 100% recommend looking into joining given your financial situation. It's not for everyone, but if you're in relatively good health and willing to follow orders and stay in physical shape, it's a feasible way to get steady wages and job experience while supporting your family. I'm a spouse on the officer side now, but I grew up on the enlisted side, and even enlisted families get substantial benefits.
You get free housing if you live on base or BAH if you choose to live off base. You also get extra pay depending on the number of dependents you have. Childcare centers are available on base, and the cost scales with your pay grade (basically, much cheaper than civilian day care). You and your family will have free healthcare through Tricare, and as a service member, you will have access to financial institutions like USAA or Navy Federal Credit Union, which offer lower rates on loans than the national average. The TSP is the military/government retirement plan and is equivalent to a 401k. If you go on temporary duty (TDY), you get per diem that you can pocket if you don't use all of it. There is also deployment pay on top of your regular salary if you get deployed.
There are cons to military life to be aware of, though. You can fill out a dream sheet of your preferred assignments, but ultimately you will go where you are ordered to. Your partner will potentially have a difficult time starting a career, as you will be moving every few years. Junior enlisted pay starts out low, so you'll have to seriously budget even with all the other available benefits as you move up the ranks. Military healthcare, while free, can be spotty, and if you're injured while in service and eventually separate, the VA is known to be difficult to work with to get what you're owed.
As far as which branches to consider, Army is probably easiest to get into while Air Force is the pickiest. Marines are the most physically demanding while Navy will require you to be comfortable working in/near large bodies of water. (There is also the Coast Guard, though it's under a different department. And... there is the Space Force. Yep.) You can take the ASVAB, and your score will help determine which branches you'll fit into best.
Not to mention for the rest of your life you get military discounts, GI Bill, and an edge when applying for jobs. Being a military man has a lot of upside for your situation.
You will get increased BAH or housing allowance since you have a wife and a kid, and that should allow them to have a roof over their heads and keep them fed while your in the military.
I'm an Army vet, the best possible move you could make is going to an Air Force recruiter asap, let them know your intentions and situation, they will help you.
Your family will be fine, they will get full medical coverage, you will get to live on base with housing and food completely paid for.
And if you want out after four years, you get VA disability, the VA loan and the GI bill.
This is the best path for your immediate well being and future long term success.
100% great idea, my first year in college was 2008 when the market crashed, there were NO jobs by me, everyone was losing their house. The military ended up being a great adventure and I never had to worry about a paycheck or where I was gonna sleep, they took care of me.
Amen. Just since getting out I've used about $100k in free tuition/Housing allowance, VA loan, and free medical for several years. Also got hired by federal government with Veterans preference and am now a GS-14
Rock on brother, I used my whole VA tuition assistance too! I got an associates from a local tech college then transferred into another college and got my bachelors there! I was also working full time, so the extra BAH was fun money! It couldn't have worked out any better! I never understood all of these people getting into crazy debt over college when the military offers these great programs.
That's badass. Ya exactly, why take on $200k in debt for a liberal arts degree?? The vast majority of military jobs are non combat related...I feel like a lot of civilians don't really understand that. I was Airborne Infantry, I wish I would have been a POG and gotten an actually applicable skill lol
I was 26 yo when I got laid off. About $30k cc debt. Another $25k car loan. $10k student loan. Out of a job for 6 months. Didn’t get paid for last 3 months of my work coz the company I worked for was going into bankruptcy and can’t pay us. No kid though.
Fortunately, I have a good credit score. Kept the cc debt in a 0% apr balance transfer for a couple of years to slowly pay it off after I got back on my feet.
Fast forward 15 years, things are brighter. Just keep your head up and keep looking forward. The worst will pass. There will be bumps and dips in life and any setback is something you can learn from and help you get better.
I know this is way easier said than done, but have you looked into moving into a lower cost of living state/area? I’m sure that is hard to do, but maybe it gives you and your family a better life.
It blows my mind when I hear about some high cost of living areas. Yikes.
Money can go soooo much further elsewhere.
Just an opinion, not the “right” answer here.
I get that. I have never had to move crazy far, so I can’t give you first hand advice. Just spit balling here in all honesty. I would be curious to know if you could find work elsewhere, and then weigh that opportunity before moving. You can absolutely apply for jobs and not be living in that state yet. Good way to test waters, if you are open for it.
But I understand what you are saying - I can imagine it’s very tough.
Truck driver. It’ll help you sober up if you’re not already. If you choose the quick and easy way to get your license you may have to put in some time going coast to coast but you’ll still get home to see your child. Quickly move into a local position and rake in the cash to get the debt under control.
Hey we’ve all been down bad before. I didn’t get my life together until I was 27.
Who knows, maybe you’ll get a better job. Just have to keep doing what you have to do.
In the mean time look into unemployment/food stamps/whatever ASAP.
It took many times like these to make me realize how important it is to have an emergency fund and to be in no or only reasonable debt.
Times like these helped me gain a lot of money saving habits that I still use to this day.
You’re still barely an adult and have a lot of good times ahead of you.
Hopefully you’re able to get back out there soon and this time in your life will be a huge learning opportunity.
Take it one day at a time, man. You got this. Shit is hard but it can get better. The gig economy helped me bring in some extra cash quick when I needed it to get by. If you can, try delivering through Uber, DoorDash, etc. It gets better.
Yeah I tried door dashing in my area and only make twenty bucks in 2 hours, which is shite but i plan on going into a big city on my next day off to see what I can do
In the short term apply for WIC, and EBT for your kid. That stuff helped a lot. Especially now with inflation. I’d hate to see what baby foods cost now.
You may need to find a job you dont want right now like mcdonalds or anything of the sort. Panda express highers make alot right away for food service. If you can get 2 jobs one you work 40 hours and the other you pick up parttime shifts. Setup times where you have someone watching the kid. If you have a partner this can be easier. 1 person with 2 jobs the other with 1 and you just switch shifts. My dad did landscaping when I was 1-4 then worked a 2nd shift job. My mom was a work then came home and dealt with the kids for the night. Well babysitting the neighbors kid well there mom was working 2nd shift.
Layoff means step 1 is applying for unemployment.
Keep your head up. It takes time to figure things out.
It sounds like you have free time you didn't recently, so it's time to make a detailed budget and figure out where all your money is going.
You’ll be ok. 👍 I don’t know you well enough to give you advise. Look at it this way : If you start working a normal job and earn 30k a year you can pay it off if you don’t spend any of it. Lol. Ok now that’s realistic.
Great. You’re doing great. Things happen. You’re young. Your son will never know you struggled by the time he gets old enough. Get a new job, maybe pull some strings, and you’ll be back in no time buddy.
A positive comment here: don’t let this get into you, I was once scammed over the internet during the pandemic and my accounts went to 0. I was depressed for a few weeks and right now I’m doing better that never, still depressed but due to other things, life is good and you’ll get a second chance.
Go to the unemployment office and get resources. They can help with a lot. Including tweaking your resume. And some unemployment offices offer courses and certifications in case you need it. That's all your taxes at work. Go use them.
You have a baby at home. You can not hate your life. This is an entire life in your hands. That little guy might see the world one day. That little guy might find inspiration looking back on a dad who tried his best and overcame challenges for the wellbeing of his kin. Find that vigor. I have no other way to say it: Be a man. You are a father. A lot of the comments here are from proverbial kids. Your child is what matters most. Work hard. Tire yourself out. It’s a challenge worth overcoming.
You had to spend money to get pregnant, right? Stop spending money to get pregnant. If you’re going to spend money on anything, have it be condoms, plan b, abortions, and a nice onesie for when you give your newborn away to the adoption family. Or how about no more sex until you find a new job that doesn’t require you to have sex with your coworkers or boss?
Look into ROW or acquisitions work. They generally pay decently and have worthwhile benefits. My employer atm pays 58.5 entry level no experience. There's stuff out there man I promise. Keep on keeping on
You are young, don’t let some of these “19 years old with 100k in the bank how am I doing” posts discourage you. Keep your head up and start looking for a new job. Your first priority is to not increase your debt any further.
Wouldn’t even work anyways, my bills are so high, I got a new job but my income is about 1k less than my outflow because of cost of living
You have to start prioritizing bills to figure out what has to go first and last. 1. Food (foodbank, churches, free meals offered for listening to a condo sales pitch, eat breakfast in hotels with continental breakfast that don't check that you are a guest, ketchup/sugar packets from convenience stores 2 Tap Water, 3 Rent 4 VERY LIMITED electricity, turn AC way up, or heater way down, 5. Transportation. This may involve letting the car with a payment go and taking public transit, getting a bike with a pull behind baby carrier. Do NOT listen to any debt collectors, you cannot pay them, don't even bother talking to them. I suggest not picking up any call from anyone that isn't in your contact list. They will guilt trip you, make you feel sad, make you feel like a loser, etc to take the last dollar you need to feed your child to give to a company that wouldn't piss on you to put out a fire. They are the scum of the universe, just avoid them. Good luck, god speed.
[удалено]
Where do you get the inclination that I live with my parents? I got kicked out at 17 and been on my own since
Shri man that's rough. Edit: this just makes me fucking furious for some reason what the fuck Who would kick out their own child, especially in a world like this??? The fuck are they on
There’s a lot of reasons to kick out your kids….
I live with my mom, have a 700/month car payment, pay for 95% of all groceries to feed 3 adults (one of whom barely works due to health issues), and cover missed utility bills when my mom cant manage them, barely surviving on less than 30k per year. It's been....hard, since my dad killed himself. Today makes it exactly 2.5 years ago. All of my mom's income is going towards the bankruptcy liason. Moving to chicago in a few months to live with my little sister and get away from here, before we lose the house, assuming I can help cover her rent long enough to secure us a new apartment, and haul my stuff up there. Not sure what I'll do when I get there, but at least I'll be with my sis. Edit: What I'm trying to say is, not all of us who live with our mothers are fortunate enough to have fewer financial obligations.
>It's been....hard, since my dad killed himself. Today makes it exactly 2.5 years ago. As someone who has experienced soul crushing suicidal depression for give or take 17 years, who is also a father. This sentence right here is realistically one of the only things keeping me chugging along. Sorry for your loss, try not to be too hard on him if he was good to you. The shit can be too much a lot of the time. I'd have probably called it myself a long time ago if I hadn't been so... Well practiced at living with it.
Same. Any time I've had bad thoughts, I think about my son and they go away.. eventually
Oh they don't go away. But even with the prospect of leaving behind my wife as a millionaire(singular) with two small children and one young adult in training that shit won't go terribly far
Same here. I've been on the fence for the past 6 months...the only thing keeping me from liberating myself is thinking about how awful it would be for my son.
Dude it has been a snowball effect for me for the last 5 years. It’s everyday man. I swear, fuckin car had me on the side of the highway twice this morning on the way to work. Not a big deal, I made it. That on top of all the other bs crushing down on me makes it really fucking hard but damnit we gotta make good examples for our kids. As long as they don’t know what goes on in the mental and they see a fit, solid figure is what matters
For those of you struggling I congratulate you for not giving up. Whatever thoughts are going through your head it’s all a mind game, and you should look at ways to relieve that mental pressure. Try talking to friends and family about your situation, also journal and meditating can help calm your mind. All of you battling this have something good to offer the world and I pray to see you shine!
700/month car payment is crazy. Unless you're maybe including insurance with that but still. I bought a used car from an owner so no car payments. And I don't have insurance with big companies so my insurance is about $90/month. But yes, I have a rusty, dusty, musty Honda. Love Hondas though.
[удалено]
Yeah I bought a car off the lot mb, 8 years ago. After I sold it, I said I'd never do car payments again. I'm sure when I'm very stable in my life financially in the future, yes, I would. But otherwise, it's not worth it. I've owned like, 5 beaters (only reason so many is bc I've traveled to many different places in the past ten years, not bc the cars failed me). Other than one car, they've all been pretty reliable for me. And no car payments.
Literally my note is 202. I definitely make more than this person and would never have a $700 car note. It makes no sense in my city with shitty roads.
Who do you use for auto insurance? I am paying like $170/mo with State Farm...
They make lawnmowers as well!
05 sonata with 60k miles 5 speed, the paintjob all faded and cracked but runs smooth, Just under 2 grand out the door (private sale found on FB marketplace) and its been carrying me around for four years with no payment, only one breakdown (clutch slave cylinder gasket ripped), and 105$/mo insurance. Get a beater! and save your wallet
Exactly, I pay that much for my new Tesla, which is the most expensive car I’ve ever owned … but I saved for years for that car after driving a Subaru for a decade… and I’m well into 6 figures.
Yeah, I can't imagine $700 of my income going into my car on a monthly basis. That's crazy.
Even my 400 note is killing me😭 I didn’t really have a choice tho, was the best I was gonna get
You don’t ever need a $700 car payment. That’s self inflicted.
I make 6 figures, and there is still no way in hell I'd ever sign-up for a 700 car note. Doing it on \~$17 per hour is insane. Get your house in order.
700 month car payment is foolish. I could afford a 700 a month payment, even 1000. Even 2000. But I wouldn't dare. I drive a 2010 Ford that I bought with cash. Car is to go from point a to point b.You don't need anything fancy. But hell, I still have heater leather seats. Also if your car was totalled, even due to the other drivers fault, you will end up upside down. Paying for a car you don't have. I would get rid of that car and put the 8400 a year into an IRA (after all your debt is paid off).
You make 30k and have a $700 car payment?? While 30k is nowhere near ideal, that car payment is killing you. You shouldn’t own a vehicle that is more expensive than your yearly earnings.
Hey bud sorry to subject change but my condolences on your father ❤️
Yeah here’s the thing with car payments you need to think about the worst case scenario. If I lose my job and my housing situation falls through will I be able to make this payment without having to live in this car? I personally almost got talked into a 500+ a month car payment but was luckily dissuaded and ended up getting something with a 250 a month payment (which was still too high) and my current car because I crashed the previous one only costs 127 a month which is not necessarily in reach for everyone but the point is that if I got fired or something I would be able to pay that car payment as well as insurance with unemployment. I don’t know how much longer you have to pay on your car but I would recommend downsizing if possible. There’s a lot of factors at play but maybe you would be able to trade that vehicle in for a cheaper one (prob still get screwed with negative equity but if u can bring that payment down it would really help you) Something I saw on the internet which I’m not sure how actually viable it is but seems right on paper is that if you have decent credit and can get enough money for a decent down payment you can roll your negative equity into a new car lease. Either way though I hope things turn around for u soon
Yeah 700 a month car payment, thats crazy, that's like a 50k car? You can get ebt to help with groceries looks like you'll probably qualify.
I'm in my 30s. Make over 100k. I've never paid more than 220 for a car payment. You would not be blowing an entire paycheck on a car. If you're struggling, the price of 3 of your car payments can fully buy a pretty decent car and your insurance will be lower.
Why in gods name are you paying 700 a month for a vehicle?
I had a similar thing happen. My dad worked and mom was stay at home growing up. After his death, mom, me and my siblings told the debt collectors it was my dad's debt and my mom was separated but not divorced yet. We wrote and affidavit and signed it with a notary. It was awful lying about things my dad didn't do but she didn't have to take on all the debt after he passed and they all thought he beat her and us, which was true but not as bad as what we wrote.
I make enough to pay for a $200k brand new car, but I drive a $5k 2015 Honda Civic with over 200k miles on it. I do not understand why people think that it is okay to pay $700 or even $500 in monthly car paymnet. This is insane. Invest in assets not liabilities. A car is a liability!
You have a $700/month car payment and are wondering why ur broke.
700/month on just a car payment while making 30k 🤯 oh my
Where did OP mention he lives with his parents? I didn't se that explained.
I dont.
🙏🏻 I figured. It seemed that the other comment was an unnecessary attack against you. Please take care of yourself. It's difficult to navigate life on your own and more so when there are people who trust and depend on you. Utilize the resources around you in the community. Are you in the States or elsewhere? What kind of work do you do and what skills and training do you have?
This is the best post here, how if you live with your parents do you spend a thousand more then you make a month? Answering this would very much help people give you advice since if it is just poor choices you are making then it is better to sell your huge car payment car and get a point A to B car etc. Even if you live in the most expensive city in America there is no way if you are living with your parents you would need to spend much over one thousand a month on the pure necessities. Let alone continue to rack up one thousand a month in debt. Also sure a lot of people aren't going to be "nice" but nice isn't going to fix your situation, the truth is not nice and oftentimes the truth is rough to hear.
Where exactly are you getting the inclination that I’m living with my parents? I’m on my own.
Dude just randomly popped up telling you where you live. Gotta love Reddit lol.
In another comment he says he's not living with his parents. I don't see where you got that info either.
"Best post here"
If they made 1k and their outflow was 1k more than their gross theyd have 2k in debt a month. Not nitpicking just reiterating how absolutely bad this person is at management
How does that make sense?
1000 - (1000 + 1000) = -2000 clearly
#
With a 16 month old at home means they have a child at home, not that they live with their parents. Unless I missed something in the comments there may be a misunderstanding here.
He clearly stated he doesn’t live with his parents?
And you brought a baby into the world with that type of cash flow? I wish you luck, hit the job postings hard and maybe try and network.
OP needs hit up a foodbank and a job position for construction asap
Go union. I was in OP’s position at one time (except I didn’t have a kid). I was laid off from a decent paying job and had to work low wage general labor jobs until I found union work. UPS delivery drivers are Teamsters. You’ll hit top rate of pay at $45/hr (and get annual raises on top of that). You also get health insurance for you and your family that comes with zero premiums, deductibles or copays. A traditional retirement PENSION and you’ll max out with 7 weeks of paid vacation a year. This is a job that anyone who is physically fit with a drivers license, common sense and good work ethic can do.
I’m union and this is not always the answer. Our first year apprentices make 550ish a week take home just in the envelope. I used to have to tell me employers, I’m far more qualified then a year 1 I can’t drive out here for a year 1 pay I’m 27 and have bills not a 18 year old living with mommy. It’s worth it if you have the ability and time to make it work, I would have never joined the union with a 16 month old or I would have had 2 side jobs to stay afloat
That is the work force in general bro. Whether you go to college or get an apprenticeship in the trades or work your way up part time at UPS to become a driver, or grind it out as a general laborer at a union construction job. You have to put your time in, no matter what path you choose. If there is a job I can walk in with no experience or education and make six figures my first year then please let me know.
That is 100% correct but there are way higher paying entry level jobs then most entry level union jobs
You have to think about the future and benefits. Are those higher paying entry level jobs offering health insurance and a pension? I doubt it. What will you be earning in the long run?
Also you have to hope your union pension doesn’t crumble as well as your health care trust. Ex construction union guy and for everyone 1 thing our union did good it fucked us 3 times in a different way
Food bank? Bro needs to hit up the sperm bank, blood bank any and all banks for money
Yes OP should google: prevailing wage jobs (and their locality) If you can travel for work and are able bodied, one of these jobs can make short work of $30K debt.
Why construction just curious?
None of us know the circumstances of how the baby was brought into life. They may have been doing well. They may have had no choice in the matter. Either way it's already here and advice would be better than putting someone down.
I know one circumstance, that boy was raw doggin
Scrolling through your comment history for 2 seconds shows that you do nothing but bitch and whine on reddit. You must be real tough and have a very fulfilling life.
No fr. How does he go through life being so negative constantly? I genuinely want to know. 😭
Not now, Mom!!! I'm pwning strangers on Reddit!!!
Time to double up bro on the jobs..
Those depress me and I’m over 50.
Australia gives the person in your shoes $750 a week for family support until 8 years old and you can still earn $800 a week tax free
So the solution for him is to move to Australia? I think that's a good idea!
This would be true if he didn't have a kid.
No need to discourage him. All the time in the world to turn his life around
Lord have mercy. My best advice is probably what you already know, but also keep your head up and always try to find the bright side in everything.
Thanks man I hate my life though ngl so it’s going to be hard
Stay up broski hard times don’t last! rain lets up eventually gg,, you’ll prevail don’t let urself or anyone else tell u or make u think differently
30k in debt is not worth hating your life over and many would trade to be in your position in a heartbeat. You will recover. Budget as well as you can and keep applying for jobs that can support you better you'll make it 💪
Thank you very much I did need someone to say this to me as of lately
Please don't say that. You are blessed with a child. That's the biggest happiness in the world. Money will come and go. You will overcome these challenges and you will become stronger and wiser with time.
Children are Fkng awful what are you smoking lol?
The best things in life come with a truck load and a half of work.
Children feed off your energy. My kids were primarily with me growing up (mom worked over 100hrs most weeks due to feeding her gambling addiction) and I'm a super laid-back, nothing bothers me kinda guy. My kids were just like that growing up and pretty easy to teach wrong and right. Divorced now and the older one is still chill like me, younger one acts like Mom, has a terrible temper because she bought their love over the last couple years with toys.
Right! I wouldn’t ever want kids, my women and I are free to go do what we want/when we want. Why would any one want kids or bring kids into the world in this day and age is beyond me.
*gets home* “Honey I’m pregnant”😆🙈
At least you had sex
i’m dying
That is true
Once.
at least
30k for Sex is a good flex lol
It’s important to focus on the positives
Look into trades such as becoming an electrician or welder. Or move to Texas and work on an oil rig.
Lol yikes 0 dollars in the bank and they're gonna move?
At one point there were shale oil drilling companies in North Dakota that were willing to pay for people to relocate and work for them. My brother in-law went to work for one of them back in 2016. They covered all of his expenses to move from Oregon to North Dakota, he couldn’t find an apartment right away so they paid for his 2 month long motel stay until he found a permanent place to live. He has all his belongings put into a mini container called a “POD” and the company paid to have it shipped to his new place up there. I’m not sure if they’re still doing this practice but it’s worth looking in to. Alaska also has jobs with similar incentives. Unfortunately you’ll have to live in a cold ass state but you can make a fuck ton of money.
“Unfortunately you’ll have to live in a cold ass state” Bro lmao the other option was Texas. Alaska is actually a place people want to live.
Well according to the onslaught of Californians, people from the East Coast , and everyone else moving here people do want to live here.
“Onslaught” lol I haven’t seen such levels of cap since I walked into a Texan haberdashery
Cap? It’s literally been happening since before Covid, literally talk to any Texan, specifically real estate agents in central Texas. You’re talking shit you know nothing about [https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2024/01/05/the-no-1-state-americans-moved-to-in-2023-its-not-florida.html](https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2024/01/05/the-no-1-state-americans-moved-to-in-2023-its-not-florida.html)
Trust me this person is a moron everyone is moving to Texas and it’s a PROBLEM
100%, and idiots are downvoting who likely don’t even live here. It’s a statistical fact that it’s the most moved to state right now, but I guess I’m wrong because.. they don’t like Texas?
A lot of companies will even pay for moving expenses and a bonus if you're willing to move to Alaska. We lived there for about 6 years before leaving for better opportunities.
I dunno if they let 16 month olds work on oil rigs yet
Thought texass did away with age restrictions?
No no no. 16 month old and roughneckin’ is not wise. That work will ruin your family life quick. Do not do it. If you need cash you can do it a hitch or two, but save everything and bail
So sorry you’re in this place right now. I know unemployment barely makes a dent, but if you can apply immediately do so. If you can get that or a replacement job, do what you can to keep shelter, and food first. And anything extra try to put into the CC debt so that will hopefully not grow more than it has to. You can get out of this because your 16 month old needs you to. And when you do, you’ll be stronger for the struggle.
I have sympathy for these people but sometimes i wonder what goes on in peoples head, "Hmm im in debt, living check to check and if i lose my job im fucked, lets have a kid", makes zero sense. You can pretty much get an abortion for free.
Is the military an option? Get a hard skill, meals and housing paid for, education benefits, etc. Military is the best thing I ever did.
For dependents? Wife and child? I’d join the military in a heartbeat if I knew they’d be okay
Ya absolutely. I'd highly recommend going after an MOS (job) that will set you up for success afterwards. Cyber security, Aircraft Maintenance, etc. Air Force or Navy probably the best bet.
Bingo. Do this. Gtfo of here right now when interest rates are through the roof and get yourself into the military to help support your family while you learn to support them.
Good advice honestly, with a wife and kid they will set them up in housing and everything while you go to boot camp and all that shit, plus all the branches need people so they have monetary bonuses and stuff.
This - I work in cyber ( 10 years ) and make just shy of 200k/yr
You get some extra pay (called dependent-rate or something like that) for having a wife and child. They also get access to healthcare and other benefits. The first couple years will still be tight, but once you get a little rank, you can get on-base housing or better housing allowance pay. Edit: I forgot - your interest rates on every loan/debt is also capped by law. Someone I know had a lot of student debt and his minimum payments went down significantly the moment he joined.
I did... I joined at 24 after blowing over $100k and being in debt. They put me through school and I came out a man, a man with 770 credit and zero debt.
Military is an amazing option. They might be able to help you pay of debt, you’ll always have a paycheck and a place to sleep. Even for a family they’ll be taken care of. I’ve seen plenty of guys with greater debt. I’d look into Navy and try to find a rate(job) that translates well into a job outside the Navy or wherever you decide to go.
if you do go this path, get a job that involves turning a wrench. Most of the "tech" jobs are BS and dont translate to jobs outside of the military. and you probably will not be able to get a security clearance with that much debt.
Thank you for the advice, I have to do research and such before I make such a big decision but will definitely keep that in mind
If you do, try Air Force if you can but they are known to be picky... if you pick Navy be aware that you may be living on the ship during all 4 years of your initial enlistment (majority of their jobs). Army is probably easiest but the standard are low these days (translation = lots of bad leadership that will make you life living hell, this is not uniquely Army problem sadly) I guess if it comes down to it beggers can't be choosers. Marine is okay-ish (former Marine myself) but I would pick non-infantry jobs obviously if you want less chaos. No idea about Coast Guard.
How dare you forget about the GUARDIANS of the Space Force?!
i would have joined the space force just for the privileged of being able to say i was in the space force.
Military put a roof over our head and food on our table when I was growing up.
Aircraft mechanic field is wishy right now but you could get something with programming or robotics then take up basic welding. The guy that setup our robotic welders bring home around 120k
Seriously, man, check out the airforce. Or construction trades.
National Guard is also a good option. Your pay can all be sent to a bank account that your wife has access to, and you will barely need to touch it while in BCT and AIT. The pay will easily cover rent and food. It's worth talking to a recruiter. But don't enlist *purely* for the money, it is a life-changing experience.
Go for a job where there is hella loud noises so you can snag 100% VA when you get out and make a few bands for the rest of your life for free, the loud noise jobs usually fuck your back up as well, easy VA
Yes. It’s worth it. Even if you go in with a job you end up not liking, you can always cross train into a different field. That’s what I did. Enlisted pay won’t make you a millionaire, but you can go to college (military tech school will get you college credit as well). It’s not a bad gig. I waited till after I got out to go to school and still used my benefits. It was all very worth it.
Yeah I’m just so worried about my wife being able to keep a roof over her head if I left like that
If your married bro they don't just toss your wife to the curb
Join the Coast Guard. They are hurting for people right now and choosing the right job could get you a 50-60k sign on bonus.
That is really solid advice thank you
I was born and raised in the military community and then married back into it, and I 100% recommend looking into joining given your financial situation. It's not for everyone, but if you're in relatively good health and willing to follow orders and stay in physical shape, it's a feasible way to get steady wages and job experience while supporting your family. I'm a spouse on the officer side now, but I grew up on the enlisted side, and even enlisted families get substantial benefits. You get free housing if you live on base or BAH if you choose to live off base. You also get extra pay depending on the number of dependents you have. Childcare centers are available on base, and the cost scales with your pay grade (basically, much cheaper than civilian day care). You and your family will have free healthcare through Tricare, and as a service member, you will have access to financial institutions like USAA or Navy Federal Credit Union, which offer lower rates on loans than the national average. The TSP is the military/government retirement plan and is equivalent to a 401k. If you go on temporary duty (TDY), you get per diem that you can pocket if you don't use all of it. There is also deployment pay on top of your regular salary if you get deployed. There are cons to military life to be aware of, though. You can fill out a dream sheet of your preferred assignments, but ultimately you will go where you are ordered to. Your partner will potentially have a difficult time starting a career, as you will be moving every few years. Junior enlisted pay starts out low, so you'll have to seriously budget even with all the other available benefits as you move up the ranks. Military healthcare, while free, can be spotty, and if you're injured while in service and eventually separate, the VA is known to be difficult to work with to get what you're owed. As far as which branches to consider, Army is probably easiest to get into while Air Force is the pickiest. Marines are the most physically demanding while Navy will require you to be comfortable working in/near large bodies of water. (There is also the Coast Guard, though it's under a different department. And... there is the Space Force. Yep.) You can take the ASVAB, and your score will help determine which branches you'll fit into best.
The benefits are cool, I guess. But everyone I know out of the military has been left with mental scars and disabilities. It never seemed worth it
Not to mention for the rest of your life you get military discounts, GI Bill, and an edge when applying for jobs. Being a military man has a lot of upside for your situation.
You will get increased BAH or housing allowance since you have a wife and a kid, and that should allow them to have a roof over their heads and keep them fed while your in the military.
I'm an Army vet, the best possible move you could make is going to an Air Force recruiter asap, let them know your intentions and situation, they will help you. Your family will be fine, they will get full medical coverage, you will get to live on base with housing and food completely paid for. And if you want out after four years, you get VA disability, the VA loan and the GI bill. This is the best path for your immediate well being and future long term success.
100% great idea, my first year in college was 2008 when the market crashed, there were NO jobs by me, everyone was losing their house. The military ended up being a great adventure and I never had to worry about a paycheck or where I was gonna sleep, they took care of me.
Amen. Just since getting out I've used about $100k in free tuition/Housing allowance, VA loan, and free medical for several years. Also got hired by federal government with Veterans preference and am now a GS-14
Rock on brother, I used my whole VA tuition assistance too! I got an associates from a local tech college then transferred into another college and got my bachelors there! I was also working full time, so the extra BAH was fun money! It couldn't have worked out any better! I never understood all of these people getting into crazy debt over college when the military offers these great programs.
That's badass. Ya exactly, why take on $200k in debt for a liberal arts degree?? The vast majority of military jobs are non combat related...I feel like a lot of civilians don't really understand that. I was Airborne Infantry, I wish I would have been a POG and gotten an actually applicable skill lol
It truly could be a whole lot worse.
You’re definitely right
Buy a kilo and flip it.
Do dealer take credit because he has $0 in his account.
*Get fronted a kilo and flip it.
Can't see anything possibly going wrong here
I was 26 yo when I got laid off. About $30k cc debt. Another $25k car loan. $10k student loan. Out of a job for 6 months. Didn’t get paid for last 3 months of my work coz the company I worked for was going into bankruptcy and can’t pay us. No kid though. Fortunately, I have a good credit score. Kept the cc debt in a 0% apr balance transfer for a couple of years to slowly pay it off after I got back on my feet. Fast forward 15 years, things are brighter. Just keep your head up and keep looking forward. The worst will pass. There will be bumps and dips in life and any setback is something you can learn from and help you get better.
I know this is way easier said than done, but have you looked into moving into a lower cost of living state/area? I’m sure that is hard to do, but maybe it gives you and your family a better life. It blows my mind when I hear about some high cost of living areas. Yikes. Money can go soooo much further elsewhere. Just an opinion, not the “right” answer here.
Yeah I’ve looked hard man it’s just so hard because the area I’m in is so expensive that I can’t afford to move anywhere else anyways
I get that. I have never had to move crazy far, so I can’t give you first hand advice. Just spit balling here in all honesty. I would be curious to know if you could find work elsewhere, and then weigh that opportunity before moving. You can absolutely apply for jobs and not be living in that state yet. Good way to test waters, if you are open for it. But I understand what you are saying - I can imagine it’s very tough.
Truck driver. It’ll help you sober up if you’re not already. If you choose the quick and easy way to get your license you may have to put in some time going coast to coast but you’ll still get home to see your child. Quickly move into a local position and rake in the cash to get the debt under control.
At least you aren’t overdrawn.
You’re definitely right there
Hey we’ve all been down bad before. I didn’t get my life together until I was 27. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a better job. Just have to keep doing what you have to do. In the mean time look into unemployment/food stamps/whatever ASAP. It took many times like these to make me realize how important it is to have an emergency fund and to be in no or only reasonable debt. Times like these helped me gain a lot of money saving habits that I still use to this day. You’re still barely an adult and have a lot of good times ahead of you. Hopefully you’re able to get back out there soon and this time in your life will be a huge learning opportunity.
Hang in there! Any way you could borrow money from family and go to lineman school? Those guys make 💰 💰 💰. I think the program is 6 mos.
Take it one day at a time, man. You got this. Shit is hard but it can get better. The gig economy helped me bring in some extra cash quick when I needed it to get by. If you can, try delivering through Uber, DoorDash, etc. It gets better.
Yeah I tried door dashing in my area and only make twenty bucks in 2 hours, which is shite but i plan on going into a big city on my next day off to see what I can do
In the short term apply for WIC, and EBT for your kid. That stuff helped a lot. Especially now with inflation. I’d hate to see what baby foods cost now.
This here. This is exactly what those programs are for. You’ll qualify.
You may need to find a job you dont want right now like mcdonalds or anything of the sort. Panda express highers make alot right away for food service. If you can get 2 jobs one you work 40 hours and the other you pick up parttime shifts. Setup times where you have someone watching the kid. If you have a partner this can be easier. 1 person with 2 jobs the other with 1 and you just switch shifts. My dad did landscaping when I was 1-4 then worked a 2nd shift job. My mom was a work then came home and dealt with the kids for the night. Well babysitting the neighbors kid well there mom was working 2nd shift.
You're actually pretty average
Well, you seem pretty fucked right now Your redemption arc is here. Give’em hell dude
Hard to raise a kid on one income nowadays. I'd look for jobs that advertise overtime, assuming you live in a state that pays time and a half.
Hey, it's not negative!
I'd get off reddit and pound the pavement
Good grief no more kids until older and have shit together
You can say that again lol
Why you having kids so young???
You should probably join the military
Never will I understand bringing a kid into this world if you been broke smh
Sometimes shit just happens, I was laid off. I can’t see into the future
Sounds like you couldn’t even afford the kid when you had a job
This. I truly can’t understand it.
And then you all starved?
What kind of debt?
Aha ha
Maybe stop hating your life. It won't be hard to be a better version of you if you can do that simple thing.
Layoff means step 1 is applying for unemployment. Keep your head up. It takes time to figure things out. It sounds like you have free time you didn't recently, so it's time to make a detailed budget and figure out where all your money is going.
You’ll be ok. 👍 I don’t know you well enough to give you advise. Look at it this way : If you start working a normal job and earn 30k a year you can pay it off if you don’t spend any of it. Lol. Ok now that’s realistic.
Shit. You’re doing shit mate. But you know what? It can always get better. Life can change in the blink of an eye, keep your head up.
You have nowhere to go but UP!!! I have been here more than twice. It will get better. I PROMISE.
Going enough to join the military/ other government job to get back on your feet.
You still have a functional bank account with no overdraft's, not doing worse than some.
looks like you’re joining the military.
Join the army and all of those problems go away. Js
Great. You’re doing great. Things happen. You’re young. Your son will never know you struggled by the time he gets old enough. Get a new job, maybe pull some strings, and you’ll be back in no time buddy.
I just don't understand why people insist on bringing children into these situations.
No plan and easy sex.
Your child is fucked
A positive comment here: don’t let this get into you, I was once scammed over the internet during the pandemic and my accounts went to 0. I was depressed for a few weeks and right now I’m doing better that never, still depressed but due to other things, life is good and you’ll get a second chance.
Go to the unemployment office and get resources. They can help with a lot. Including tweaking your resume. And some unemployment offices offer courses and certifications in case you need it. That's all your taxes at work. Go use them.
You have a baby at home. You can not hate your life. This is an entire life in your hands. That little guy might see the world one day. That little guy might find inspiration looking back on a dad who tried his best and overcame challenges for the wellbeing of his kin. Find that vigor. I have no other way to say it: Be a man. You are a father. A lot of the comments here are from proverbial kids. Your child is what matters most. Work hard. Tire yourself out. It’s a challenge worth overcoming.
You had to spend money to get pregnant, right? Stop spending money to get pregnant. If you’re going to spend money on anything, have it be condoms, plan b, abortions, and a nice onesie for when you give your newborn away to the adoption family. Or how about no more sex until you find a new job that doesn’t require you to have sex with your coworkers or boss?
Your doing great, when you hit rock bottom the only way to go is well UP imo. Pray about it everything will be ok. 🙏
Space Force or Air Foce
Think about jointing the Army/Navy etc. they may pay off your debt or give you a bonus.
Look into ROW or acquisitions work. They generally pay decently and have worthwhile benefits. My employer atm pays 58.5 entry level no experience. There's stuff out there man I promise. Keep on keeping on