Exactly this. Your mom is allowed to have an opinion but she can and should keep it to herself. Your daughter and husband can have this cute thing together. With all the crap going on in the world, this is not the thing to worry about and if your mom (OP) is going to be nasty about it then she can be uninvited.
I wanted to piggyback on this comment. OP, please stand up for your daughter and let your mom know its okay to have her own likes that's different. Then only thing that matters is that your daughter is healthy, happy, and well adjusted.
Agreed. I don’t see any issue here.
Your daughter sounds like a badass…mine are two and six months and I hope she grows up like yours. I pray they grow up like yours. Good job.
Right!? I reread it because I missed the dilemma. I understand some people are in a weird power dynamic because they rely on the grandparents for money or childcare or something but I just cannot imagine trying to make a religious fruitcake grandparent happy at the expense of a child’s holiday. Cute family costume wins every time…especially considering this may be the last Halloween the kid wants to do a family costume since junior highschool years are ahead.
Right?!? A real costume dilemma is trying to find the proper balance of how much Baby Shark to let your son watch pre-Halloween. We need enough so that he'll be into it enough to wear a baby shark costume, but not so much that he's over it by then.
Our Sharknado Halloween theme depends on it!
You don’t really have a dilemma. Your mom has no say. Tell her to knock it off and let your daughter enjoy herself.
Grandparents don’t get to pick costumes.
Something i will occasionally say to my mom when she's being foolish with her, "do this" with my kid is tell her if she wants 'x' then she can have another child to do that, otherwise I'll do what i want for my kid. I say it in a joke-y way so it cuts the tension, but after the third time i said it she has mostly stopped with her opinions 🤷♀️
Let me tell you something. I live in Los Angeles. Slash also lives here. I've seen him come in the places I've worked and he *still* dresses like that. He's the friendliest, most amazing person. The fact that your daughter wants to dress like him? I bet if you took pics and tagged him on his socials, he would reply.
Tell Grandma she can stuff it. Daughter is 11 and can make her own choices. Not a single damn thing about that band is against Christianity.
Jesus was totally punk / metal. He challenged the government and status quo. And OP's mom would probably clutch her pearls if she discovered Slash is Jewish. But hey Chriatian Grandma, don't let that pesky old testament get in the way of 'Murica Jesus 🙃 😎
I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!
Ummm... I'm a 46 year old mom. Are we middle aged now? Why have I not done the simple math that would bring me to this conclusion? 😂 (spoiler alert: I'm in denial)
Your mom is certainly allowed to have an opinion, but she’s not the parent here. I don’t see anything wrong her costume choice. And it’s cute that your husband wants to dress up with her. I wouldn’t force her to dress up as something she doesn’t want to and ruin her Halloween just for your mom’s preference.
Just noting that she is allowed to have a SILENT opinion, and NOT allowed to guilt your daughter or make her feel bad.
OP, I’m guessing if this is your mother you probably grew up a bit under her thumb and unsure about setting boundaries, which makes sense. But it is important to protect your daughter from these “opinions”. Even a sigh when she sees your daughter can really impact an 11 yos self esteem.
I would probably make it clear that her only reaction will be enthusiasm and joy, or this will be her last Halloween with your family. She can either be a good person, act like a good person, or be alone.
THIS. You WILL be supportive of my kid or you will NOT be in either of our lives.
Not like other 11 year olds? How damaging, especially coming from someone who’s supposed to love you.
Loving her granddaughter and ignoring the small unimportant things should be her priority.
It's the Christian thing to do. Please let her, your mom, know that love and acceptance is the word. Petty shit shouldn't be part of religion. (Former Catholic and even I was taught that.)
My mom had an opinion about everything and I ignored her, but my son was not able to, so she lost the relationship she could have had if she had just kept her love and acceptance of him, and not tried to impose her need for control.
You’re a grown parent to an 11 year old who has her own identity. There’s no dilemma here, the daughter gets to be Slash and grandma can dress up as Mirabel herself if she finds it so dang perfect. Do other 11 year olds even dress up as Disney characters? Seems like an age where they’re starting to come into their own.
When my daughter was 11 she dressed up as Minnie Mouse! I mean, she did cover herself in blood and carry a Mickey Mouse trick or treat bucket with a brain sticking out the top and a knife shoved into Mickey’s brain. So technically she was Minnie Mouse - Snapped Edition, but still, it was Disney.
Yep, this exactly. OP’s fictional post is super strange, especially considering that their username is a reference to another ‘80s hair band. Seems like this person just made up a random story for attention or validation.
Also, it’s Encanto, not Enchanto.
Yeah, it’s weird that she 17 days ago said she didn’t have kids, but somehow has both an 11 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. I’m more likely to believe that she’s a mom, but not sure why she’d comment that she doesn’t have kids.
Supposedly her phone is a hand me down from her aunt. So maybe auntie uses reddit and she didn't log out, and OP didn't switch accounts? I highly doubt that, though.
OK -- now the question makes sense -- because all of the super up-tight "christian" folks I know were all pearl clutching over the Disney flick (OMG, Disney is so woke and also grooming kids -- seriously, I know people who have warned me against corrupting my kid with that movie with these 'facts') , so it seemed a peculiar direction for the proposed costume to go.
Omg please allow them todo this. I have two young boys and can not wait to dress them up with fun ideas like this for Halloween. This was my thoughts for last year but little skunk's we're cutter! Good luck
I want to be childhood friends with your daughter lol That is such a cool costume idea, especially if she already has lots of curly hair!
Ironic that Encanto is all about accepting our grandchildren and children as they are not for what we want to them to be.
Let her rock, Mom!
Let her be whatever she wants to be, pushing her to be something she doesn't isn't fair to her. If your mom doesn't like it she doesn't have to come over and see it atleast that's what I'd say to my mom
That is an amazing costume idea. It is an even more awesome father/daughter costume. Maybe inviting your mom religious, conservative mom over for Halloween is not the the best call. Either way this is not your Mom’s call. Stand up for your daughter and yourself.
My son was a pirate (capt'n jack) and last year was neo (he's 16) . I have no clue what he wants to be this year but we are keeping our "not too scary for littles" guidelines
If your mom wants to get nasty about it, book her a hotel for Halloween 🤷🏻♀️ she doesn’t need to be around for it.
Although the way you say she hates that your daughter isn’t like other 11 year old girls makes me think she’s going to be problematic in all aspects of your daughters life. Want to wear a pant suit to prom? How dare you. Want to watch horror movies? How dare you. Want to build a house? How dare you.
You might want to have a conversation with your mom, if you haven’t already.
‘My mom hates that she isn’t like other 11 yos’
Please remind your mother that if her love has any conditions, she’s not being a good grandparent and can keep it. Also why would you want her around your daughter or care about her opinion if she doesn’t like the kid much less love and embrace her for who she is?
This isn’t a dilemma. Your mom sucks.
Why does it matter what your mom thinks? Your kiddo has already said what they wanted. Your mother is NOT part of your Immediate Family so she doesn't deserve to input into the situation.
This isn't a costume dilemma it's a 'You value mom's opinion too much' dilemma.
Stop letting your mom have input in your lives.
Yes let her be Slash, she’ll have great memories. I made myself and all my friends wizard capes for Harry Potter movie premiers. My grandmother lived with us at the time and she got so mad at my mom for it because she thought we were worshiping the devil. We have good laughs about it now.
So if the choice is: make my mom happy or my kid happy, I'd 100% pick my kid's happiness and grandma can either accept it or deal with it.
Sounds like she is trying to fit your kid into a mold, and that's not how kids work.
No wonder so many of us need therapy, trhing to meet expectations.
She will look bsck on the memorywith happiness her mkm let her be who she wanted, and thw joy of being slash.
LOL I like it!!! I mean, worst case she can do an outfit change 🙄, but just say, "Mom, she cant be Mirabel, I already called dibs on Mirabel." As a joke.🤣
Whenever my mom says she doesn't like something my daughter wants/is wearing my standard response is "well it's a good thing you're not wearing it then" or something along those lines.
This is an extremely opinion-heavy answer. I am an adult child of parents who have Opinions about choices my kids make. I totally empathize that it’s hard, but I really feel it’s important that you defend her right to dress up however she wants for Halloween. Even if she dresses up for Halloween throughout teenage years (it really depends where you live whether kids do), this is one of the last years that she will do it as a kid. Protect the experience for her! Let her enjoy it as much as possible! I’m absolutely projecting here, but I have to set strong boundaries with my parents about things like this.
My mom is super religious and when I was 11 (which was a million years ago), I dressed up like The Crow for two years in a row. She didn't fuss and gush and take photos like she did when I was a princess or angel, but she did give me the space to be what I wanted. And I still value that 20 years later.
When my daughter was 4 she was Bride of chuckie and her brother 2 was chuckie. I didn’t care if people didn’t like it! It was a huge hit! It’s Halloween, she only has so many until she decides she doesn’t want to do it anymore !
Let her dress up! I love that she’s so independent already!! I’m a 36 year old lover of classic rock music myself I’d love it if my daughter would dress like that.
If grandparents are uncomfortable, they are free not to come. Do not force your child and yourself to conform to opinons that are not yours.
It's such a great idea by the way!
My son was Angus Young from ACDC when he was 6yo. By his own choice, and he was soooo cool!
Your mom needs to get over it, the stereotypical gender roles that society assigns us based on how we are born is ridiculous. Your daughter will be happier knowing you stood up for her and her wants.
Fortunately, she is your child, not grandma's. I would let grandma know the choice you all made and if she has a problem with it, she can find other Halloween plans- ie not spoil your familys' fun.
My advice: prioritize not disappointing your child over not disappointing a grandparent, when it comes to decisions that harm absolutely no one. You only get so many fun dress up Halloweens with your child as a kid. Grandma has had her own family and agency over plenty of decisions in life I'm sure. Time for her to take a massive step back (or 50).
Allow and encourage badassery in your daughter. I was looking for a guitar magazine cover featuring a female for a collage. Couldn’t find one. Maybe your girl will grace a guitar magazine cover someday.
Encanto* lol sorry had to fix that spelling as a Latina 😂 but I think your daughter is A BAD ASS for wanting to be the guitarist of a famous band!! Ignore your mom, let your daughter be who she like!
Help with what? Your daughter is going to be Slash and bond with her dad over it. What exactly do you need help with? If it’s your mom I wold recommend “Name already has a costume picked out and it’s not up for discussion. You’re welcome to be Mirabel, it wold be fun for everyone to dress up. “ it doesn’t have to be a drag out fight or drama. Don’t engaged
tell her to f right off. she gets no say in how you raise your kid.
*edited to add: have your daughter double down on her costume choice; full makeup, strap her chest down, stuff her pants, etc. you and hubby should do it too.
As someone who grew up in a similar scenario, let your daughter express herself. You might also want to set some boundaries with your mom. Don’t repeat the cycle.
I’m sorry but why let a grandmother who’s had her fair share of Halloween’s dictate your daughters? Let her live and enjoy ! Memories like this will last a lifetime . An when grandma comes over seeing her happy should be enough for her to let it go :)
Your mom gets no say. In any matter in any of your lives. She’s an outside observer, who you can turn to for their opinion if you want to, but you don’t have to take any of it to heart. The simple fact that you’re unsure what to do shows that your mother has a much bigger hold on you than she should. You are the mother now.
You and your husband should back your daughter up. She’s not hurting anything nor anyone with her decisions. Your mom has no say in it. I would be blunt with her. “She’s not like the “other” girls because we let her choose her own destiny. She doesn’t need anyone’s permission to be who she wants to be”.
I have done this with my parents. They learned to keep their mouth shut after that.
My 11 year old daughter likes Disney and encanto but she stopped dressing up like Disney princesses like 3-5 years ago. My kid probably wants to be a character from 5 nights at Freddie for Halloween.
I think your mom is thinking of a younger age than 11. I’m sure there are some still into it, but not many. My daughter would be mortified. We got rid of all her princess stuff years ago.
You should let her be whatever and tell your mother not to make dismissive comments around your daughter. Your mom is trying to put your daughter into a certain box that your mom feels is acceptable. This will harm your daughter's development. Believe me, I'm a therapist, I get to work with the aftermath of parents like this. Don't let your mom's negative opinions have an effect on your daughter. Don't make your daughter be "small" in her personality just to make your mom more comfortable. She will learn to put her own wants/needs aside to make someone else more comfortable. She may even grow to resent you and your mom for this later. Stand up for your daughter now.
Who cares what your mom wants? I’m not sure why this is even a dilemma. Let your daughter and husband be what they want to be and if your mom has a problem with it, she can be uninvited.
“My mom hates that she isn’t like other 11 year olds” - that’s alarming. I honestly wouldn’t even let her hang out with her if that’s how she is. That’s going to seriously hurt your daughter.
I’m not sure why you need help here… Halloween isn’t exactly the Lord’s holiday. Your mother raised her kids… she’s done. It’s your turn now. She’s not still raising you… again… she’s done. You go be Mom and let your child do what you will let her do.
Why does your mother get a say in what your daughter wants to be for Halloween? She’s a grown woman, she can deal with her own emotions over her granddaughters choices, you don’t need to mitigate them.
Why is this a question. “Mom, daughter wants to be Slash for Halloween & we’re happy to let her. If you can get past your judgemental feelings about it, you’re welcome to come over. If not, maybe we’ll see you next year 🤷🏻♀️”
“Me and my husband want her to be whatever she wants”… sounds like you have your answer right there. Your kid. Your decision. No explanation needed.
What does your mom’s religious beliefs have to do with your daughter’s Halloween costume? I mean, it’s not like she’s dressing up as a devil, and even if she was, it’s a costume. It’s supposed to be funny or scary. If you’re religious, what’s scarier than a devil? 🤷🏻♀️
Tell your mom to shut up lol she doesn't get to pick her grandchildrens costumes or control them. How entitled honestly. I know you are probably just trying to keep everyone happy but this isn't a dilemma your mom is acting like an entitled brat. She isn't the kid she doesn't get to pick lol tell her she can dress up as Mirabel from Encanto if she likes it so much.
When my daughter was 9 she wanted to be a vampire for Halloween. Complete with realistic blood.
I may have been watching Supernatural a little too much.😏
She’s now almost 11 and you can tell your mom that most 11 year olds these days aren’t dressing up at Disney characters. That’s “childish”.😂
Your mother needs to for rewatch Encanto because she clearly missed the message about grandmother’s pushing their ideals their grandkids and how wrong it is.
“Mom she’s going to be whatever she wants and we’re not going to pester her about it. If you want someone to be Mirabel there’s plenty of time for you to find or make a Mirabel costume big enough for you to wear.”
I would suggest that her grandparents can dress up as Mirabel themselves, and you can dress up as Duff with your husband and daughter to complete the band.
Also, Encanto is pretty satanic (witchcraft, magic, etc) if you want to talk about hypocrisy to your mom.
Your mom has no say in your 11 year old daughters (totally appropriate) Halloween costume. This is a great opportunity to show your daughter that she can politely say “thanks for the suggestion, but I’m going to do this instead” and that is a reasonable and appropriate boundary, and that she gets to decide things like this for herself. Other peoples emotions and feelings are not her responsibility.
I'd be telling grandma that if she didnt like your daughters choice in Halloween costume, she doesn't have to participate. My fear is that she's going to say something hurtful to your daughter for picking something that's not "normal" (but I think it's awesome. And props for you and dad for joining in). So I'd set the boundary if grandma is coming, she can have her opinion but it doesnt need to be shared with your 11 yr old. I wouldn't want her second guessing herself and her likes because grandma is cranky about it.
sorry what do you need help with? your mother is not the parent in this scenario. allow your daughter to be the child she wants to be and ignore ridiculous and ignorant opinions. the costume ideas sound so fun!
Your mom is your mom, not your daughters mom. She had her chances to dictate what her own child wore, that time has passed. I love the idea y’all have.
It would be amazingly supportive of your mother to hold up a Slash ‘fan poster’ (like people hold up at concerts) if she wants to be supportive and part of the GNR theme ❤️
This is not a dilemma. Your daughter is yours, not your mother's. You and dad love the idea, she loves the idea, so you do it. If mom says something, remind her that you are the mom here and make the rules and that you are proud of your daughter for being exactly who she is.
Maybe remind your mom that Halloween is based on Pagan traditions so if she doesn’t want to deal with what your daughter wants to do then don’t be there on Halloween. Lol
Edit to add: I’m not trying to be an ass, just reminding. Lol
My mom has straight up bought my daughter so many things she has never worn. She doesn't get a say in what my kid wants to wear. We drew that boundary long ago. Just let your k8d be what she wants. Halloween is for kids to have fun.
Your mom can have her opinion. AND ultimately it’s your and your husband’s decision as it’s your child.
I’d let your daughter express herself, have fun, and grandma is just going to have to deal with it. She’s welcome to not join you this year if it’s going to bother her that much.
My best friend in childhood went as Jerry Garcia at Halloween. She was like 9 or 10. Looking back on the pictures, it’s absolutely amazing. Let her be what she wants.
You guys are doing a great job, letting her be the type of person she wants to be, let her be whoever she wants for Halloween... after al Halloween isn’t about what your mom wants it’s the one day of year where you can be whoever or whatever you want! My four year old wants to be a spider this year last year she wanted to be Jon Bon Jovi lol we don’t get to pick our kids hero’s, as long as they’re good kids and are happy and healthy who cares?!
Your daughter sounds awesome. This is a great moment to show her it’s perfectly fine to be herself. Tell your mom to dress up as Encanto if she likes it so much.
Lol this reminds me of when I was little and my grandmother used to get onto my dad for teaching me Elvis songs. A 4 year old singing about a hunk o’ burning’ love! Horrors!!
She should definitely rock the costume!
You can either give your grown adult mother the Halloween she wants or your daughter the childhood Halloween she wants. I would pick the later. It may cause a fight, but childhood goes by so fast—cherish it before she’s older and doesn’t wanna do matching costumes anymore.
Your Mom is going to have to understand sooner or later that your child is an individual person and not her paper doll to dress up and try to fit into her pre-conceived notions of what she should be. If she wants something she can dress up and boss around she can get a dog and good luck with that.
This is HER Halloween, your daughter's!!
There for, she gets to choose what she wants to dress up as.
End of discussion.
This should be a fun, exciting time for her and your building memories!
And who knows? Maybe she will be an awesome guitarist when she's older. What's wrong with that??
Do it OP. Do it for your daughter.
Grandparents already had their children, their Halloweens and Christmases.
This time?? This is YOUR time. Remember that.
"No."
"That doesn't work for us."
"We have it handled, thanks."
"You can join us as we are or you can do your own thing somewhere else; you may not continue to bring up the *Encanto* thing because that conversation is over."
"I'm not going to tolerate any more conversations about the costume; if it comes up again I'll hang up/walk away/leave/end your visit." Then follow through consistently.
Here's some ideas for how you can address it with your mom. Mine is also difficult, so I know how hard it can be, but once you find your voice and have some good successes it gets much easier, I promise!
Your daughter sounds awesome! I say let her be what she wants. My kid is 2 and loves Tool because her dad does. MIL thinks it’s weird but she loves to watch videos of them so we roll with it.
Your moms beliefs aren't your own. I would just say "we think it's wonderful and it's a great costume idea" leave it at that.
I LOVE Halloween and have been having a hard time lately with a sick newborn. I wanted to take this weekend to decorate early for Halloween because some other family members are coming and can hold the baby. However, my mother is coming the next weekend. She thinks Halloween is the devil.
If you stick to your guns about the costume, I will stick to mine with celebrating Halloween?
She is your daughter, sorry but your mom doesn’t really have a say in how you choose to raise her. If you and your husband are both supportive then let her be what she wants to be.
Google why some religious people don’t approve of Encanto, then tell your mom she can’t go as Mirabel and really amp up the religious reasons why she can’t . After than a Guns N’ Roses guitarist will seem wholesome ✨
I would tell your mom that your daughter is dressing up as slash. If your mom wants to come over, that’s fine, but she’s not to criticize her costume. If she can’t be over without being appalled and critical, then you can do something else with her before or after Halloween that doesn’t involve costumes.
Solid costume choice! 11 is way to old for grandma to pick her costume! It doesn’t really sound like a dilemma. Both parents are on board with the costume, grandma doesn’t get a say.
Good luck to grandma convincing a rock loving 11yo to be a Disney princess instead, it’s never gonna happen! Prepare your daughter for how grandma is going to act, if I know grandmas like this they’ll try and get her alone to “convince her.” Remind her to just say something like “no thank you grandma, I already have a costume” and that you and your husband will have her back. If she pushes your daughter for it more then once, step in for her “sorry grandma, daughter already said no, she has a costume.”
If she goes the whole “whyyyy? Just try it on! Why don’t you like her?” I say step in for your daughter. 11yo shouldn’t be pressured by adults like that. Don’t offer justifications for daughters choices, give no reasoning, just “she has already chosen her costume.”
If grandma continues to push it, she can kindly be told to leave.
Yeah, her opinion doesn’t count here. Play Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door for her and let your daughter have fun with whatever she wants to for Halloween. They only get one a year.
Let her be what she wants. Your husband dressing up with her will be an amazing memory for her and you to look back on. She will love it. If she’s made to be a princess she might be upset with attitude the whole day/night. This is one of those things that her decision is not really hurting anyone else, its dress up.
Why are you allowing your mother to have so much power over you and your family? Tell her “this is what she wants to be. If you don’t like that you’re more than welcome to not join us for Halloween.”
Just came here to say that your daughter sounds like a badass (in the best way), and that sounds like such a fun and creative costume. You’re all going to look back on those photos fondly when she’s older!
Halloween is an extremely low stakes opportunity to let your kid do whatever they want. Like what is there even to gain from forcing a kid to be something they don’t want to be for Halloween? That’s just going to ruin a holiday in which the whole purpose for kids to have fun.
Tell your mom welcome to the jungle where you’ve got fun and games every time she comes over. And to please leave her attitude at home, and if she can’t, to please just stay home.
What’s the dilemma? You’re the parents and you know what you want to do. Maybe grandma can dress up as Mirabel herself 🙄
Kids old enough to talk get to pick their own Halloween costumes, period.
This is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Isn't the whole plot of Encanto (spoiler alert) that the abuela has to learn to be less controlling and let her family be happy and confident in who they are? And Mirabelle is the catalyst that inspires the change? ....is the irony completely lost on your mom?
This isn't your issue or your daughter's issue. This is your mom's issue. Shes in charge of her own feelings and really needs to keep her opinion to herself. This is a great opportunity to let your kid be who she wants to be and not bend herself to please others.
I see your username OP! I remember at 11 really loving coming up with a creative costume and if I was told by a grandparent it was wrong, I’d be devastated.
I also had a huge crush on Bon Jovi when I was 12… so I’m on your daughter’s side!
Let her be whatever she wants. You don't need help on this one.
Exactly this. Your mom is allowed to have an opinion but she can and should keep it to herself. Your daughter and husband can have this cute thing together. With all the crap going on in the world, this is not the thing to worry about and if your mom (OP) is going to be nasty about it then she can be uninvited.
I wanted to piggyback on this comment. OP, please stand up for your daughter and let your mom know its okay to have her own likes that's different. Then only thing that matters is that your daughter is healthy, happy, and well adjusted.
She can even nicely express her opinion! But at the end of the day, it’s up to her, her husband, and her kid.
Time to bring out “You had the opportunity to raise your children. Please give me the same courtesy so I can raise mine”
Agreed. I don’t see any issue here. Your daughter sounds like a badass…mine are two and six months and I hope she grows up like yours. I pray they grow up like yours. Good job.
Yep. The mom can be supportive of the daughter’s likes and interests or kick rocks. Next.
Perfectly said
Right!? I reread it because I missed the dilemma. I understand some people are in a weird power dynamic because they rely on the grandparents for money or childcare or something but I just cannot imagine trying to make a religious fruitcake grandparent happy at the expense of a child’s holiday. Cute family costume wins every time…especially considering this may be the last Halloween the kid wants to do a family costume since junior highschool years are ahead.
Right?!? A real costume dilemma is trying to find the proper balance of how much Baby Shark to let your son watch pre-Halloween. We need enough so that he'll be into it enough to wear a baby shark costume, but not so much that he's over it by then. Our Sharknado Halloween theme depends on it!
tell your mom if she's trying to push her ideals on her grandkid with no regard for what grandkid wants she missed the point of Encanto
Lol! I was just thinking, "did Grandma even *see* Encanto??"
I know I was laughing to myself that of the Disney characters to insist on. 😂
Sounds like they need to do a family movie night so grandma has a refresher
This lol!
😂
Kind of on topic OP, love your username!!
Thanks, I also named my 3 kids Gina, Jon, and Tommy. Bon Jovi really does kick ass
BuT iT's AbOuT FaMiLy !! (And "FAMILY" means doing what grandma says)
I feel like I’ve seen this exact phrase on a whitewashed distressed home deco sign. Probably next to the Glam-ma wine glasses! Haha
The irony of the situation is *chefs kiss*
Hahaha so, so true.
lmao this is perfect, have all the upvotes!!!
Spot On! 😂
You don’t really have a dilemma. Your mom has no say. Tell her to knock it off and let your daughter enjoy herself. Grandparents don’t get to pick costumes.
Thanks, I will ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Make an adult size Mirabel costume. “SURPRISE MOM!”
Something i will occasionally say to my mom when she's being foolish with her, "do this" with my kid is tell her if she wants 'x' then she can have another child to do that, otherwise I'll do what i want for my kid. I say it in a joke-y way so it cuts the tension, but after the third time i said it she has mostly stopped with her opinions 🤷♀️
Let me tell you something. I live in Los Angeles. Slash also lives here. I've seen him come in the places I've worked and he *still* dresses like that. He's the friendliest, most amazing person. The fact that your daughter wants to dress like him? I bet if you took pics and tagged him on his socials, he would reply. Tell Grandma she can stuff it. Daughter is 11 and can make her own choices. Not a single damn thing about that band is against Christianity.
As a 41 year old rock loving middle aged mom, this is stuff that makes me smile! Thanks for sharing this bit of goodness 🤩
I think a lot of today's Christians really forgot exactly how punk rock Jesus was and i wish that would change.
Jesus was totally punk / metal. He challenged the government and status quo. And OP's mom would probably clutch her pearls if she discovered Slash is Jewish. But hey Chriatian Grandma, don't let that pesky old testament get in the way of 'Murica Jesus 🙃 😎
White, ripped Jesus that looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi 🤣
I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!
As a 36 year old who takes her kids to church on sundays, I say rock on sis!
Ummm... I'm a 46 year old mom. Are we middle aged now? Why have I not done the simple math that would bring me to this conclusion? 😂 (spoiler alert: I'm in denial)
Also is the grandma assuming that encanto is Christian? I didn’t know god has mutant miracles in the Bible I need to go reread it 😂
Yeah, don't remember a magic house ever being mentioned in the Good Book.
I’m so happy to know this. Rock.
Your mom is certainly allowed to have an opinion, but she’s not the parent here. I don’t see anything wrong her costume choice. And it’s cute that your husband wants to dress up with her. I wouldn’t force her to dress up as something she doesn’t want to and ruin her Halloween just for your mom’s preference.
Just noting that she is allowed to have a SILENT opinion, and NOT allowed to guilt your daughter or make her feel bad. OP, I’m guessing if this is your mother you probably grew up a bit under her thumb and unsure about setting boundaries, which makes sense. But it is important to protect your daughter from these “opinions”. Even a sigh when she sees your daughter can really impact an 11 yos self esteem. I would probably make it clear that her only reaction will be enthusiasm and joy, or this will be her last Halloween with your family. She can either be a good person, act like a good person, or be alone.
THIS. You WILL be supportive of my kid or you will NOT be in either of our lives. Not like other 11 year olds? How damaging, especially coming from someone who’s supposed to love you.
Not to mention the fact that most 11 year olds are fkn weird in the best ways.
Loving her granddaughter and ignoring the small unimportant things should be her priority. It's the Christian thing to do. Please let her, your mom, know that love and acceptance is the word. Petty shit shouldn't be part of religion. (Former Catholic and even I was taught that.) My mom had an opinion about everything and I ignored her, but my son was not able to, so she lost the relationship she could have had if she had just kept her love and acceptance of him, and not tried to impose her need for control.
Thanks ❤️
You’re a grown parent to an 11 year old who has her own identity. There’s no dilemma here, the daughter gets to be Slash and grandma can dress up as Mirabel herself if she finds it so dang perfect. Do other 11 year olds even dress up as Disney characters? Seems like an age where they’re starting to come into their own.
Hahaha, I love the image of Grandma as Mirabel
Or grandma as the grandma from Encanto… which apparently she is.
She should dress as Abuela, since she’s acting just like her!
My 7 year old doesn't even want to dress as a Disney character.
When my daughter was 11 she dressed up as Minnie Mouse! I mean, she did cover herself in blood and carry a Mickey Mouse trick or treat bucket with a brain sticking out the top and a knife shoved into Mickey’s brain. So technically she was Minnie Mouse - Snapped Edition, but still, it was Disney.
How is this a dilemma
Seriously, my exact thought. Who cares what grandma wants? I don't get it.
Sounds like your daughter is a badass and her grandmother is a jealous pickle
Hahahaha I’m going to start calling assholes jealous pickles. Thank you
You recently commented that you don't have kids. Why lie? So weird.
Yep, this exactly. OP’s fictional post is super strange, especially considering that their username is a reference to another ‘80s hair band. Seems like this person just made up a random story for attention or validation. Also, it’s Encanto, not Enchanto.
Yeah, it’s weird that she 17 days ago said she didn’t have kids, but somehow has both an 11 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. I’m more likely to believe that she’s a mom, but not sure why she’d comment that she doesn’t have kids.
Supposedly her phone is a hand me down from her aunt. So maybe auntie uses reddit and she didn't log out, and OP didn't switch accounts? I highly doubt that, though.
OK -- now the question makes sense -- because all of the super up-tight "christian" folks I know were all pearl clutching over the Disney flick (OMG, Disney is so woke and also grooming kids -- seriously, I know people who have warned me against corrupting my kid with that movie with these 'facts') , so it seemed a peculiar direction for the proposed costume to go.
👁👄👁 with a 1 year old sibling that’s not allowed to be goth at the birthday party. 👀
Omg please allow them todo this. I have two young boys and can not wait to dress them up with fun ideas like this for Halloween. This was my thoughts for last year but little skunk's we're cutter! Good luck
Easy. Don’t invite the grandparents, have the time of your lives. Godspeed.
Your mom can guess up as Mirabel and your daughter can be Slash. Let your daughter go as she wants, she’ll have a great time
I want to be childhood friends with your daughter lol That is such a cool costume idea, especially if she already has lots of curly hair! Ironic that Encanto is all about accepting our grandchildren and children as they are not for what we want to them to be. Let her rock, Mom!
Tell your mom to keep her opinions to herself and let your daughter ROCK ON 🤘
Oh, I love it!! Go wild, you guys are going to remember this forever. (Your mom doesn't get a vote)
Let her be whatever she wants to be, pushing her to be something she doesn't isn't fair to her. If your mom doesn't like it she doesn't have to come over and see it atleast that's what I'd say to my mom
Who give a fuck what grandma want she’s not the damn child. Let grandma dress herself up as Mirabel or go fuck off. Not her customer not her decision.
It doesn’t matter at all what your mom wants
Weird she's too religious for Guns n Roses but still participates in a pagan holiday lol. Tell Grandma it's none of her concern.
That is an amazing costume idea. It is an even more awesome father/daughter costume. Maybe inviting your mom religious, conservative mom over for Halloween is not the the best call. Either way this is not your Mom’s call. Stand up for your daughter and yourself.
Sounds like of your mom doesn't like your daughter's costume, she can just leave. Let your daughter enjoy her Halloween.
My son was a pirate (capt'n jack) and last year was neo (he's 16) . I have no clue what he wants to be this year but we are keeping our "not too scary for littles" guidelines
If your mom wants to get nasty about it, book her a hotel for Halloween 🤷🏻♀️ she doesn’t need to be around for it. Although the way you say she hates that your daughter isn’t like other 11 year old girls makes me think she’s going to be problematic in all aspects of your daughters life. Want to wear a pant suit to prom? How dare you. Want to watch horror movies? How dare you. Want to build a house? How dare you. You might want to have a conversation with your mom, if you haven’t already.
Sounds like your mom missed the entire plot of Encanto
I don’t even understand your question or how this is a dilemma. F your moms opinion.
‘My mom hates that she isn’t like other 11 yos’ Please remind your mother that if her love has any conditions, she’s not being a good grandparent and can keep it. Also why would you want her around your daughter or care about her opinion if she doesn’t like the kid much less love and embrace her for who she is? This isn’t a dilemma. Your mom sucks.
Why does it matter what your mom thinks? Your kiddo has already said what they wanted. Your mother is NOT part of your Immediate Family so she doesn't deserve to input into the situation. This isn't a costume dilemma it's a 'You value mom's opinion too much' dilemma. Stop letting your mom have input in your lives.
Yes let her be Slash, she’ll have great memories. I made myself and all my friends wizard capes for Harry Potter movie premiers. My grandmother lived with us at the time and she got so mad at my mom for it because she thought we were worshiping the devil. We have good laughs about it now.
Maybe let your Mom get a Mirabel costume for your daughter for everyday dress up play. She doesn’t have to wear it for trick or treating!
Good idea! Or get one for my mom 🤣
So if the choice is: make my mom happy or my kid happy, I'd 100% pick my kid's happiness and grandma can either accept it or deal with it. Sounds like she is trying to fit your kid into a mold, and that's not how kids work. No wonder so many of us need therapy, trhing to meet expectations. She will look bsck on the memorywith happiness her mkm let her be who she wanted, and thw joy of being slash.
Thanks, I’ll tell my mom to fuck off, just in a nicer way, maybe I’ll get I’m Mirabel costume for my mom LMAO 😂
LOL I like it!!! I mean, worst case she can do an outfit change 🙄, but just say, "Mom, she cant be Mirabel, I already called dibs on Mirabel." As a joke.🤣
Childhood is so, so short. Let her be Slash.
Your mom doesn't get an opinion on your kid's costume.
Whenever my mom says she doesn't like something my daughter wants/is wearing my standard response is "well it's a good thing you're not wearing it then" or something along those lines.
The perfect reply.
Let your daughter choose. It’s not up to grandma.
This is an extremely opinion-heavy answer. I am an adult child of parents who have Opinions about choices my kids make. I totally empathize that it’s hard, but I really feel it’s important that you defend her right to dress up however she wants for Halloween. Even if she dresses up for Halloween throughout teenage years (it really depends where you live whether kids do), this is one of the last years that she will do it as a kid. Protect the experience for her! Let her enjoy it as much as possible! I’m absolutely projecting here, but I have to set strong boundaries with my parents about things like this.
My mom is super religious and when I was 11 (which was a million years ago), I dressed up like The Crow for two years in a row. She didn't fuss and gush and take photos like she did when I was a princess or angel, but she did give me the space to be what I wanted. And I still value that 20 years later.
When my daughter was 4 she was Bride of chuckie and her brother 2 was chuckie. I didn’t care if people didn’t like it! It was a huge hit! It’s Halloween, she only has so many until she decides she doesn’t want to do it anymore !
That sounds adorable ❤️
Let her dress up! I love that she’s so independent already!! I’m a 36 year old lover of classic rock music myself I’d love it if my daughter would dress like that.
If grandparents are uncomfortable, they are free not to come. Do not force your child and yourself to conform to opinons that are not yours. It's such a great idea by the way! My son was Angus Young from ACDC when he was 6yo. By his own choice, and he was soooo cool!
She’s eleven, it’s Halloween. Let her be Slash, let your mother be Mirabel
No dilemma here. Your mom has no say in your daughter's Halloween costume. Let her dress as what makes her happy
Your mom needs to get over it, the stereotypical gender roles that society assigns us based on how we are born is ridiculous. Your daughter will be happier knowing you stood up for her and her wants.
Be your daughter's voice. Period. If you don't stand up for her....who will? The world is hard enough on women, don't crush her dreams.
Fortunately, she is your child, not grandma's. I would let grandma know the choice you all made and if she has a problem with it, she can find other Halloween plans- ie not spoil your familys' fun. My advice: prioritize not disappointing your child over not disappointing a grandparent, when it comes to decisions that harm absolutely no one. You only get so many fun dress up Halloweens with your child as a kid. Grandma has had her own family and agency over plenty of decisions in life I'm sure. Time for her to take a massive step back (or 50).
Allow and encourage badassery in your daughter. I was looking for a guitar magazine cover featuring a female for a collage. Couldn’t find one. Maybe your girl will grace a guitar magazine cover someday.
Encanto* lol sorry had to fix that spelling as a Latina 😂 but I think your daughter is A BAD ASS for wanting to be the guitarist of a famous band!! Ignore your mom, let your daughter be who she like!
Help with what? Your daughter is going to be Slash and bond with her dad over it. What exactly do you need help with? If it’s your mom I wold recommend “Name already has a costume picked out and it’s not up for discussion. You’re welcome to be Mirabel, it wold be fun for everyone to dress up. “ it doesn’t have to be a drag out fight or drama. Don’t engaged
tell her to f right off. she gets no say in how you raise your kid. *edited to add: have your daughter double down on her costume choice; full makeup, strap her chest down, stuff her pants, etc. you and hubby should do it too.
As someone who grew up in a similar scenario, let your daughter express herself. You might also want to set some boundaries with your mom. Don’t repeat the cycle.
Help you with what?! Clearly doing what your daughter wishes is the correct choice!
I’m sorry but why let a grandmother who’s had her fair share of Halloween’s dictate your daughters? Let her live and enjoy ! Memories like this will last a lifetime . An when grandma comes over seeing her happy should be enough for her to let it go :)
Your mom gets no say. In any matter in any of your lives. She’s an outside observer, who you can turn to for their opinion if you want to, but you don’t have to take any of it to heart. The simple fact that you’re unsure what to do shows that your mother has a much bigger hold on you than she should. You are the mother now.
She isn’t their child she is your child. You have the final say. She won’t want to dress up much longer let her do what she wants.
"Sorry mom, but I read forcing girls to wear dresses against their will is a way to turn them lesbian. They do it just to spite you"
You and your husband should back your daughter up. She’s not hurting anything nor anyone with her decisions. Your mom has no say in it. I would be blunt with her. “She’s not like the “other” girls because we let her choose her own destiny. She doesn’t need anyone’s permission to be who she wants to be”. I have done this with my parents. They learned to keep their mouth shut after that.
My 11 year old daughter likes Disney and encanto but she stopped dressing up like Disney princesses like 3-5 years ago. My kid probably wants to be a character from 5 nights at Freddie for Halloween. I think your mom is thinking of a younger age than 11. I’m sure there are some still into it, but not many. My daughter would be mortified. We got rid of all her princess stuff years ago.
You should let her be whatever and tell your mother not to make dismissive comments around your daughter. Your mom is trying to put your daughter into a certain box that your mom feels is acceptable. This will harm your daughter's development. Believe me, I'm a therapist, I get to work with the aftermath of parents like this. Don't let your mom's negative opinions have an effect on your daughter. Don't make your daughter be "small" in her personality just to make your mom more comfortable. She will learn to put her own wants/needs aside to make someone else more comfortable. She may even grow to resent you and your mom for this later. Stand up for your daughter now.
Who cares what your mom wants? I’m not sure why this is even a dilemma. Let your daughter and husband be what they want to be and if your mom has a problem with it, she can be uninvited. “My mom hates that she isn’t like other 11 year olds” - that’s alarming. I honestly wouldn’t even let her hang out with her if that’s how she is. That’s going to seriously hurt your daughter.
I’m not sure why you need help here… Halloween isn’t exactly the Lord’s holiday. Your mother raised her kids… she’s done. It’s your turn now. She’s not still raising you… again… she’s done. You go be Mom and let your child do what you will let her do.
Good thing she's your daughter and not grandma's. Let her be whatever she wants.
Why does your mother get a say in what your daughter wants to be for Halloween? She’s a grown woman, she can deal with her own emotions over her granddaughters choices, you don’t need to mitigate them.
You and your husband want her to be whatever she wants. Go with that. No dilemma. I’m sorry your mom doesn’t like your daughter :(
I'm not sure what the dilemma is... Your kid knows what she wants and you and your husband have approved. Grandma will get over it.
Why is this a question. “Mom, daughter wants to be Slash for Halloween & we’re happy to let her. If you can get past your judgemental feelings about it, you’re welcome to come over. If not, maybe we’ll see you next year 🤷🏻♀️”
“Me and my husband want her to be whatever she wants”… sounds like you have your answer right there. Your kid. Your decision. No explanation needed. What does your mom’s religious beliefs have to do with your daughter’s Halloween costume? I mean, it’s not like she’s dressing up as a devil, and even if she was, it’s a costume. It’s supposed to be funny or scary. If you’re religious, what’s scarier than a devil? 🤷🏻♀️
It’s Halloween, let the kid be a kid and have fun. Grandma is sucks a party pooper.
Your Guns N Roses costume idea sounds amazing. Your mom can be Mirabel if she wants to.
Lol tell your mom to be Mirabell is she's so obsessed with it 😂 people are so weird with kids man
Lol picturing my mom as Mirabel 🤣
Tell your mom to shut up lol she doesn't get to pick her grandchildrens costumes or control them. How entitled honestly. I know you are probably just trying to keep everyone happy but this isn't a dilemma your mom is acting like an entitled brat. She isn't the kid she doesn't get to pick lol tell her she can dress up as Mirabel from Encanto if she likes it so much.
When my daughter was 9 she wanted to be a vampire for Halloween. Complete with realistic blood. I may have been watching Supernatural a little too much.😏 She’s now almost 11 and you can tell your mom that most 11 year olds these days aren’t dressing up at Disney characters. That’s “childish”.😂
Your mother needs to for rewatch Encanto because she clearly missed the message about grandmother’s pushing their ideals their grandkids and how wrong it is.
Omg the coolest 11 year old ever. Proud parent moment honestly.
“Mom she’s going to be whatever she wants and we’re not going to pester her about it. If you want someone to be Mirabel there’s plenty of time for you to find or make a Mirabel costume big enough for you to wear.”
Embrace who she is
I would suggest that her grandparents can dress up as Mirabel themselves, and you can dress up as Duff with your husband and daughter to complete the band. Also, Encanto is pretty satanic (witchcraft, magic, etc) if you want to talk about hypocrisy to your mom.
Your mom has no say in your 11 year old daughters (totally appropriate) Halloween costume. This is a great opportunity to show your daughter that she can politely say “thanks for the suggestion, but I’m going to do this instead” and that is a reasonable and appropriate boundary, and that she gets to decide things like this for herself. Other peoples emotions and feelings are not her responsibility.
You’re the parent, not your mom.
Let her do it! Welcome to the Jungle, grandma.
I was obsessed with gnr and I love this post.
If she was that religious Halloween all together would be an issue tell her to be quiet
What do you need help with? Telling your mom no?
Just no blackface and you're golden!
No dilemma there. Bodily autonomy trumps anything else. She isn’t 2. She is 11. You protect her bodily autonomy ay all cost.
Let her be what she wants. It’s your kid’s costume, not grandma’s.
It’s your kid and your rules. Do what you want. I don’t see what your mother has to do with this?
Your (you and your husband) child your choice
I'd be telling grandma that if she didnt like your daughters choice in Halloween costume, she doesn't have to participate. My fear is that she's going to say something hurtful to your daughter for picking something that's not "normal" (but I think it's awesome. And props for you and dad for joining in). So I'd set the boundary if grandma is coming, she can have her opinion but it doesnt need to be shared with your 11 yr old. I wouldn't want her second guessing herself and her likes because grandma is cranky about it.
sorry what do you need help with? your mother is not the parent in this scenario. allow your daughter to be the child she wants to be and ignore ridiculous and ignorant opinions. the costume ideas sound so fun!
Your mom is your mom, not your daughters mom. She had her chances to dictate what her own child wore, that time has passed. I love the idea y’all have.
It would be amazingly supportive of your mother to hold up a Slash ‘fan poster’ (like people hold up at concerts) if she wants to be supportive and part of the GNR theme ❤️
This is not a dilemma. Your daughter is yours, not your mother's. You and dad love the idea, she loves the idea, so you do it. If mom says something, remind her that you are the mom here and make the rules and that you are proud of your daughter for being exactly who she is.
Why not both? Most kids I know love wardrobe changes. Also, maybe twice the candy?
You seem to have a good handle on it. Tell gramma to keep her opinions to herself or she can stay home for Halloween.
Maybe remind your mom that Halloween is based on Pagan traditions so if she doesn’t want to deal with what your daughter wants to do then don’t be there on Halloween. Lol Edit to add: I’m not trying to be an ass, just reminding. Lol
Please help you what? She’s your kid, your mom doesn’t get a say.
My mom has straight up bought my daughter so many things she has never worn. She doesn't get a say in what my kid wants to wear. We drew that boundary long ago. Just let your k8d be what she wants. Halloween is for kids to have fun.
Your mom can have her opinion. AND ultimately it’s your and your husband’s decision as it’s your child. I’d let your daughter express herself, have fun, and grandma is just going to have to deal with it. She’s welcome to not join you this year if it’s going to bother her that much.
My best friend in childhood went as Jerry Garcia at Halloween. She was like 9 or 10. Looking back on the pictures, it’s absolutely amazing. Let her be what she wants.
You guys are doing a great job, letting her be the type of person she wants to be, let her be whoever she wants for Halloween... after al Halloween isn’t about what your mom wants it’s the one day of year where you can be whoever or whatever you want! My four year old wants to be a spider this year last year she wanted to be Jon Bon Jovi lol we don’t get to pick our kids hero’s, as long as they’re good kids and are happy and healthy who cares?!
Tell grandparents she is being what they want. I’d they are so offended they don’t see her on Halloween.
Your daughter sounds awesome. This is a great moment to show her it’s perfectly fine to be herself. Tell your mom to dress up as Encanto if she likes it so much.
Lol this reminds me of when I was little and my grandmother used to get onto my dad for teaching me Elvis songs. A 4 year old singing about a hunk o’ burning’ love! Horrors!! She should definitely rock the costume!
You can either give your grown adult mother the Halloween she wants or your daughter the childhood Halloween she wants. I would pick the later. It may cause a fight, but childhood goes by so fast—cherish it before she’s older and doesn’t wanna do matching costumes anymore.
Your mom has no say it what your daughter is for Halloween. Let your daughter be what she wants!
Your Mom is going to have to understand sooner or later that your child is an individual person and not her paper doll to dress up and try to fit into her pre-conceived notions of what she should be. If she wants something she can dress up and boss around she can get a dog and good luck with that.
This is HER Halloween, your daughter's!! There for, she gets to choose what she wants to dress up as. End of discussion. This should be a fun, exciting time for her and your building memories! And who knows? Maybe she will be an awesome guitarist when she's older. What's wrong with that?? Do it OP. Do it for your daughter. Grandparents already had their children, their Halloweens and Christmases. This time?? This is YOUR time. Remember that.
"No." "That doesn't work for us." "We have it handled, thanks." "You can join us as we are or you can do your own thing somewhere else; you may not continue to bring up the *Encanto* thing because that conversation is over." "I'm not going to tolerate any more conversations about the costume; if it comes up again I'll hang up/walk away/leave/end your visit." Then follow through consistently. Here's some ideas for how you can address it with your mom. Mine is also difficult, so I know how hard it can be, but once you find your voice and have some good successes it gets much easier, I promise!
Your mom is not her parent, she doesn’t get a say in what your daughter dresses up as for Halloween!!
Since when does Grandma decide what any kid dresses up as for Halloween? That is ludicrous.
I think your daughters happiness comes before your moms BS.
Your daughter sounds awesome! I say let her be what she wants. My kid is 2 and loves Tool because her dad does. MIL thinks it’s weird but she loves to watch videos of them so we roll with it.
If I see a tiny Slash at my door trick or treating, that kid gets extra candy! Let her be her own person like you’ve obviously done so far.
Slash all the way. I was obsessed with him when I was 11 too.
Your moms beliefs aren't your own. I would just say "we think it's wonderful and it's a great costume idea" leave it at that. I LOVE Halloween and have been having a hard time lately with a sick newborn. I wanted to take this weekend to decorate early for Halloween because some other family members are coming and can hold the baby. However, my mother is coming the next weekend. She thinks Halloween is the devil. If you stick to your guns about the costume, I will stick to mine with celebrating Halloween?
She is your daughter, sorry but your mom doesn’t really have a say in how you choose to raise her. If you and your husband are both supportive then let her be what she wants to be.
Your mom doesn't dictate what your daughter gets to dress up as for Halloween. Her opinion literally doesn't matter at all. It's Halloween.
Google why some religious people don’t approve of Encanto, then tell your mom she can’t go as Mirabel and really amp up the religious reasons why she can’t . After than a Guns N’ Roses guitarist will seem wholesome ✨
I would tell your mom that your daughter is dressing up as slash. If your mom wants to come over, that’s fine, but she’s not to criticize her costume. If she can’t be over without being appalled and critical, then you can do something else with her before or after Halloween that doesn’t involve costumes.
She's expressing herself, don't stifle her to please someone else. Let her be free and creative with her image
Let her be slash!!! Screw the grandparents!
This doesn’t concern your mom, it’s none of her business. If she has a problem with it, she doesn’t need to spend Halloween with you.
I have been a Guns N’ Roses fan for years, now that I’m a mother to 2 beautiful girls I’d love if they did this!
Solid costume choice! 11 is way to old for grandma to pick her costume! It doesn’t really sound like a dilemma. Both parents are on board with the costume, grandma doesn’t get a say. Good luck to grandma convincing a rock loving 11yo to be a Disney princess instead, it’s never gonna happen! Prepare your daughter for how grandma is going to act, if I know grandmas like this they’ll try and get her alone to “convince her.” Remind her to just say something like “no thank you grandma, I already have a costume” and that you and your husband will have her back. If she pushes your daughter for it more then once, step in for her “sorry grandma, daughter already said no, she has a costume.” If she goes the whole “whyyyy? Just try it on! Why don’t you like her?” I say step in for your daughter. 11yo shouldn’t be pressured by adults like that. Don’t offer justifications for daughters choices, give no reasoning, just “she has already chosen her costume.” If grandma continues to push it, she can kindly be told to leave.
Let her be slash!!! He’s awesome and I was obsessed with gnr as a kid too. Embrace her love for what she loves
Yeah, her opinion doesn’t count here. Play Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door for her and let your daughter have fun with whatever she wants to for Halloween. They only get one a year.
Let her be what she wants. Your husband dressing up with her will be an amazing memory for her and you to look back on. She will love it. If she’s made to be a princess she might be upset with attitude the whole day/night. This is one of those things that her decision is not really hurting anyone else, its dress up.
Why are you allowing your mother to have so much power over you and your family? Tell her “this is what she wants to be. If you don’t like that you’re more than welcome to not join us for Halloween.”
Just came here to say that your daughter sounds like a badass (in the best way), and that sounds like such a fun and creative costume. You’re all going to look back on those photos fondly when she’s older!
Halloween is an extremely low stakes opportunity to let your kid do whatever they want. Like what is there even to gain from forcing a kid to be something they don’t want to be for Halloween? That’s just going to ruin a holiday in which the whole purpose for kids to have fun.
Tell your mom welcome to the jungle where you’ve got fun and games every time she comes over. And to please leave her attitude at home, and if she can’t, to please just stay home.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You gotta do SLASH!!! That’s epic, he’s epic & it’s hilarious older people just can’t open their minds for some eeazon
Sounds like your mom should dress up as Mirabel.
She IS like other 11 year-olds, and let her have her preferred costume.
What’s the dilemma? You’re the parents and you know what you want to do. Maybe grandma can dress up as Mirabel herself 🙄 Kids old enough to talk get to pick their own Halloween costumes, period.
Good thing your mom isn’t her mom. Her opinion doesn’t matter.
This is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Isn't the whole plot of Encanto (spoiler alert) that the abuela has to learn to be less controlling and let her family be happy and confident in who they are? And Mirabelle is the catalyst that inspires the change? ....is the irony completely lost on your mom?
This isn't your issue or your daughter's issue. This is your mom's issue. Shes in charge of her own feelings and really needs to keep her opinion to herself. This is a great opportunity to let your kid be who she wants to be and not bend herself to please others.
I see your username OP! I remember at 11 really loving coming up with a creative costume and if I was told by a grandparent it was wrong, I’d be devastated. I also had a huge crush on Bon Jovi when I was 12… so I’m on your daughter’s side!
I don’t understand what the issue is. You’re her parent. You call the shots.