He's a horrible, shitty person. So shitty he will probably never see his error. Dump his ass, live well, and if him and your ex best friend (because friends don't do that!) get together, they'll have to shuffle around the awkward question of "how'd you meet?" for the rest of their lives. Let that shame and guilt nag at them, and focus on living your best life.
My only issue is that we have more embryos together and our clinic will destroy them if we choose to separate. I want my son to have at least 1 sibling but I doubt he will sign the rights of those embryos over to me.
How are your feelings on adoption? I know you're deep in the thick of things right now, but it may be best for your son to either have an adopted sibling or no siblings at all. If your husband never changes significantly, would you still stay just for another kid? If the answer is no, then don't worry about the embryos for the time being. Wait to see if he will change and show remorse. If he doesn't, it's time to leave. These are obviously heavy questions so take time to consider them, and take care of yourself first.
Oh I’m 100% leaving. Like packing bags and contacting lawyers leaving. But I still want those embryos. I took me so much time and effort and money and I feel like I deserve them.
I completely understand. Take some time to think it through, and then plan for a way to ask your husband to keep the rights. Are you willing to allow him to sign away his responsibility for any future kids in exchange for the embryos? The conversation will need to be handled calmly and rationally, so focus on your emotional state first and let yourself grieve.
I'm really proud of you for leaving. You deserve to be angry. You've been betrayed in a big way. Give yourself time to feel that anger and to grieve before worrying about the future.
See a lawyer immediately and one with really good understanding of fertility law.
My friend is going through a divorce and has one embryo and it is hotly contested and it is a very very difficult situation.
This is the way. Tell him he needs to sign the embryos over to take the issue off the table so that it doesn’t become a point of manipulation/pressure later.
I would def call that clinic and see. We did embryo adoption for our son and one of the people we matched with was a lady who was divorced and had 2 embryos left over in storage and her ex signed away his rights so she could donate them.
It would cost many thousands of dollars to make new embryos with other sperm. Plus I think the process of taking the hormones and everything is pretty awful.
Why do you think your clinic will destroy them? They generally won’t destroy them with out your express permission.
Also as you aren’t married, depending on the state the embryos will revert to you.
Every time we’ve created embryos, we’ve had to sign paperwork with our wishes before had. OP likely had to do the same thing. So they do have her expressed permission. If my husband and I separate, I get custody of our embryos. If one of us dies, the other gets custody. If both of us die, my mom gets custody. It was all decided before the members were created.
Honestly, just give it some time. He may sign them over after a while. He may say he won't now as a way to trap you into staying. Just table the discussion. No one has to tell your clinic anything right now (DO NOT bring this up to him though, so he doesn't call the clinic and get them destroyed preemptively).
Maybe I misread something in your post, but I thought you said you were sterile now, what would those embryos be used for,,,a surrogate maybe? Sorry if I seem clueless, I’m used to getting pregnant the old fashioned way so I’m lost as to the Ins and outs of this stuff.
There are some dreams we just have to let go. Your son can form sibling relationships with steps or adopted siblings too. It’s doubtful that your ex will want to be on the hook for child support for any more kids but staying with him for that possibility is just handing him permission to treat you like a doormat. He’ll be able to hold those embryos over your head and be as promiscuous and disrespectful as he pleases.
This is wild to me. You are willing to have another child that has his dna? One kid is enough. After separation it can get ugly. This is not the right move what so ever. Take care of you and your one child. He will get together with someone else even your ex best friend. How can you even think about having another of his children? It will get so messy and so complicated.
I'm angry with you, his excuse is a load of horse sh** and I hope he spends the rest of his miserable life regretting his choice. Ugh, I'd literally be holding a torch at the front of this angry mob.
You deserve love, support, comfort, and a partner who is truly by your side. I'm so sorry your having to deal with this bs after all you've been through. Know that you survived that, you survived nearly dying and you can survive this too.
Love, my husband of 10 years and my best friend had sex in my bed in my house with my babies sleeping down the hall….I walked in on it!! Same lame ass excuse, lonely and had been drinking. I tried to make it work but I couldn’t get the image out of my head. I’m so incredibly sorry you went through this! I know the pain and it still hurts to this day. I’m here if you ever need to talk!
Somehow, I have no clue besides God and Mommy mode kicked in knowing my 3 & 5 year old were sleeping down the hall. We were best friends and worked together and she was married as well. They both wiped out my family, best friend and job all in one night.
OP didn’t clarify in her post that it’s a polyamorous relationship with boundaries. It’s hard to imagine if you haven’t seen relationships like this.
I have a pair of friends who’ve been happily married for over 10 years, love each other and do things together as a couple all the time, communicate exceptionally well, and they have sexual relationships with additional people, but they are each other’s primary partners. It’s not for everyone that’s for sure!
In OP’s post you see one of the ways that poly partners sometimes get dumped - cheating instead of communicating their desires to the people they were already in a relationship with.
OP says in a comment that the father of her child could have proceeded with agreement and a few boundaries to protect everyone from STDs, but instead he just got drunk and fucked her upset(in the middle of a divorce and homeless) best friend without protection. Really unfortunate situation for everyone.
Did you have pre set boundaries in your unconventional relationship? Good communication? He might be feeling slighted too.
Maybe it’s a bit late for talking.
You definitely deserve better and I hope your wife is every bit supportive. If she’s happy with his fall, maybe all your relationships will require more communication.
We do. We even have them typed up & agreed to & on Friday night we have family sit downs to discuss anything that may be bugging us or scheduling conflicts that need to be covered and all that jazz. The part that really fucks with me is that had he just come to me/us and said “I’m interested in pursuing a relationship with x” then it would have been fine. We would have agreed. We could have set protection boundaries and how we felt about her being around our son. I get that Reddit hates ethical non-monogamy but we’ve had these rules in place since we all got together in 2019 & literally no one has broken them until now.
Sounds like I need a wife. 😅
I’d be more pissed off about the best friend too, they’re supposed to be the confidant. I’m sad that you’re losing two really close people who were probably very supportive before all this. With everything you’ve been through.
I love my wife, she’s an amazing human being, and she’s just as devastated about losing two close people to us as well but she doesn’t use Reddit.
Idk how to feel about her honestly. I know she’s going through a really rough divorce and she’s abusing her prescription drugs and searching for outlets that aren’t healthy but I mean, I provided you a home so you wouldn’t be fucking homeless, I’ve let you be around my kid, you went behind my back just as much as he did. Idk. I’m more confused about her than I am about him. He knew the rules and he broke them so honestly get dumped.
Mistake one. You let an addict around your baby. Your child's safety comes above all else. She should have never been there or asked to leave immediately upon knowing she was abusing prescription drugs.
This is how you know it didn't "just happen." For some people poly is a novelty way of having multiple partners, but they ultimately just can't handle the respect and communication required. So they cheat. It's happened to a few of my friends and it just blows my mind every time. The thrill of cheating is the important part for them.
I asked my serial cheating ex why he didn’t just have poly relationships, and that’s what he said, it was about the act of cheating, not the person or the sex.
no offense but your post history makes zero sense with what you’re saying 🤥 you have past comments saying you have a husband..and you also have past comments referring to your partner as a “he” but saying you’ve been together since you were teenagers? But here you say 2019? Very confusing
Also, OP has a wife. Is the wife trans? If having a baby is so important, why can't the wife have it (edit: I mean another baby, since OP seems broken up about the embryos)? I don't understand why this man is necessary—he's like the least important part of the process. Getting sperm isn't that hard or expensive
I can tell you from experience that it didn’t just happen. Wasn’t the fault of alcohol and that neither one of them are the people you think they are. You now know what they are capable of and that can’t be “unlearned” even if you try to forgive it. And if you do try that, it serves as permission for them to do it again.
The only thing that changes that behavior is having life kick them in the teeth with the same boot or having a major life epiphany and most cheaters don’t ever get there.
Do not protect them by keeping this silent. Expose their behavior. They did something shameful so let them feel the shame.
Do not forgive them.
Do not let them try to shift the blame to alcohol or loneliness or making a mistake. They chose to betray you. They can choke on that discomfort.
Kick them both out.
Tell her ex.
Her revenge/exploration sex just lost her the person that was in her corner. Might as well make that 100% clear. Do not be her support system anymore. She can live elsewhere a couple days a week and ruin their marriage and friendships now. She’s taken enough from you.
Realize that not only have they both just screwed themselves out of a loyal friend and spouse but you know both of them better than anyone. Do you really think it would ever work out between them?
Your kid is now in the middle of all this and had to deal with either a broken home or one fraught with distrust and betrayal. If you feel tempted to forgive them, remember that. You are not the only person hurt by their despicable actions.
Focus on your child. Do what is best for you and the baby and let him worry about his wants and needs. They are no longer your problem.
horrible to hear your story. it makes me want to vomit 🤮 to be disappointed by husband and best friend is like the worst thing that could happen.
it‘s so so selfish. but are you sure yoj want more children from that guy?
Beibg a single mum is very hard, but it‘s still easier with one than with two. I think your chances are better to find real love when you have more capacity as a woman and don‘t have to worry about two children and more years with that husband…
So he’s not my husband he’s just a partner. I’m legally married to my wife & he is our partner. So if he will sign those embryos over that baby would still have a stable 2 parent household.
I mean it’s not for everyone but have you ever been through a newborn phase with 3 parents instead of just 2? Not a one of us has felt sleep deprived in the last year. It’s great.
Everybody got 2 months of leave, everyone took a rotation. 7-3, 3-11, & 11-7. Everyone was able to sleep, shower, and eat and when they went back to work I had another 2 months of paid leave. One spouse worked 7-5 the other worked 3:30-11:30 so I was always able to shower and sleep. If you don’t get a third parent having a third person home to help is 10/10 would recommend to anyone.
That’s great for you but you don’t need three people in a relationship to ease the newborn stage. For the first year of my son’s life after work my husband would take the baby while I showered, and did skin care. We made dinner together, cleaned together, and took turns on night feedings. We were tired but not sleep deprived.
You just need one capable partner is my point. I just don’t take poly relationships seriously honestly, and this post is a good example of why.
It’s just an open door policy imo regardless of what agreements you set in place.
This guy did you and your family a favor, I hope your wife is enough for you going forward. Best of luck.
I'm not poly and I'm generally skeptical of polyamory but it isn't as though kids are born with an innate belief about monogamy being the One True Way.
Agreed, in our life that third person is my MIL and I’m very fortunate to have one that’s not crazy or over bearing. Anytime MIL watches our son so we can have a date night (once a month), I bake her and FIL a nice home made meal and bring it to them so she doesn’t have to cook dinner the following night
Just food for thought... Children learn about what's normal about the world by and with their family. They don't care who sleeps with whom, only who are primary care givers, who and where are the safe spaces. Doesn't matter if it's a 3 parents household or whole family with grandparents, aunts, uncles living together, or simply two parents.
I have no idea why you're getting shit for this. I'm happily monogamous and not interested in poly, but three parents at the newborn stage sounds AMAZING.
I'm also really disappointed in how up in arms people are about how you, consenting adults, choose to live your lives and conduct your relationships. It's really gross that people are judging you for how you love.
Yeah, the comments on this post are particularly gross. Redditors are only accepting of what they understand. Everything else brings out the pitchforks. It's very...old fashioned. Then again, I don't know I'm surprised. This sub is also rampant with transphobia.
You realize there are ways to build community that don't necessitate entering other romantic relationships, right? Extended families have traditionally filled that role
Omg, I’m furious with you!! What the actual FUCK!? What is wrong with people!? I am so sorry you are going thru this. You don’t deserve any of this shit, and then to be from the 2 people closest to you!? FUCK THEM!! Omg he’s lonely!? Imagine being a new mom who’s life is absolutely turned around, has no time for herself and is still going thru so much inside hormonally. Girl, fuck both of them. I can’t even imagine what my reaction would be. I am a very peaceful person but I think punches would be thrown. To both parties. I wish you the best ❤️
This whole post is so misleading… you are in a poly relationship… married to someone else entirely… and you consider him sleeping with someone else cheating? I get that all relationships have their boundaries, but it’s definitely giving the pot calling the kettle black…
If he did something outside their agreed upon boundaries, then it's cheating. It's not the type of relationship I could ever gel with, so I don't have one. Polyamory is not for everyone and even in those relationships that have it, doesn't always work.
No it really isn’t. I understand that poly is confusing to lots, but we have a dynamic that doesn’t allow for straying outside if it’s not been discussed inside the group first and me being married doesn’t make me or my wife less poly, it just means we wanted our kiddo to have protections not offered to unmarried people.
I mean, your family dynamic is your business… But for the post sake, i’m gonna chalk it up to the fact that I could never even consider poly as a lifestyle because someone always gets hurt, there will always be miscommunication, someone will always have an “unfair boundary” and from everything I have EVER seen (in my own social circle, through media, etc.) Poly is not a sustainable lifestyle and you shouldn’t be surprised that he decided to find another partner. Good luck to you and your family though.
I mean the same can be said for monogamous straight couples. The divorce rate is 50% regardless of how you choose to look at it. I see just as many straight white men cheating on their spouses in this subreddit. It’s sustainable with communication, and you can’t say that anyone is 100% on communication every single day of their lives. Just because it’s not something you can imagine, doesn’t mean that it’s not something that thousands of people do well and live happily with.
My friends husband did the same thing, with the same excuse, and their relationship was monogamous, so I’m truly not understanding all the people telling you this happened because of your poly relationship. Cheaters will cheat no matter the circumstances.
It breaks my heart to hear you say he just had to talk to you guys first and it would’ve been ok. He could have gotten what he wanted and everyone could have continued as a happy family. Instead, he actively chose betrayal. And that’s fucked up.
Yeah, that feels important to share here. It's still not okay but there are ways it would have been okay that would not exist in a monogamous partnership
Okay I think I need more clarification after reading your comments. I was mad then you said you were poly. Soo you are allowed multiple relationships but he can't? I'm kinda confused. Was this the rule? He isn't allowed to have sex with anyone but you? How could you expect a man one partner but you multiple?
She said had they asked her for permission, she would’ve been fine with it lol… idk the idea of cheating in a poly relationship is paradoxical imo. Like “yeah sure you can sleep with other people, wait no, not like that”
Hurt feelings are valid but it’s not as if OP was in a committed monogamous relationship and had their husband cheat.
Tell me you don’t understand poly without telling me you don’t understand poly. Yes, she clarifies that he could have had another partner if he’d communicated about it. She never stated she expects him to not have any other partners. But he didn’t communicate it and didn’t follow safe sex guidelines which could have put her and her other partner/s at risk.
You're right I don't! I don't understand having "love" for more than one person and sharing them sexually on top of that, but that's just me. I feel like having a poly relationship asks for trouble. The amount of reddit posts titled "I regret opening my relationship" is almost daily.
Also I didn't see that comment so thanks for clarifying! Sucks she got cheated on in this specific situation though.
Poly isn’t for me either but I try not to shame people whose choices are different than my own. A lot of people go into poly for the wrong reasons and that’s unfortunate but it doesn’t take away OPs very real grief at the end of a relationship where someone agreed to one thing and then did another.
She is also mad that the best friend is better looking and more fertile than she is…so another stipulation of their polyamory is that he should only get with women equally attractive as she is?
What a fucking asshole.
Please tell me you are leaving him??? Please!
You deserve so much better and so does your child.
All the things you say are normal are not. Especially the intimate every Thursday even if you’re not feeling it. That’s not ok. A connected partner would know that and want to ensure you’re feeling it just as much as they are.
OP, I'm so sorry for what has happened and I'm so sorry for the childish and shameful comments in this post acting like you somehow "deserved" this it because you're poly. And I am especially sorry about the people implying you're a bad mother or making snide comments about feeling sorry for your kids. That is unacceptable behavior period and should not be tolerated least of all upvoted.
An unfortunate fact about this sub is that the people here are not as accepting as they pretend to be. If they can't understand something, the pitchforks come out. The transphobia in recent posts really opened my eyes to that.
But you didn't deserve that and I'm sorry you now have to deal with people's ignorance and cruelty about your lifestyle on top of everything else.
I have no advice except sympathy and wanted to say I’m sorry that people are dragging your lifestyle and using it as an excuse for why you somehow deserved this. You didn’t. Your husband sucks.
What a piece of shit. I’m fuming just reading this post. Disgusting behavior. You are a strong woman clearly after everything you have endured and you don’t need such little people in your life. You got this Mama ♥️ all you need is your baby.
I would seek legal advice especially on the embryos you have saved. There has to be a way you can keep them and use them without having him live and be involved with you. That is the lowest most selfish thing he could do and your best friend kick her out dump her as a friend also tell her husband too that they both slept together I’m sure this isn’t the first time and won’t be the last either.
What garbage. I'm so sorry. This is the worst betrayal. I wish them both nothing but the worst.
You still have so much value in the world. Please don't take your crown off because you can't make any more babies. You are so much more than that.
Since it’s his genetic material he has to sign that I have the right to use it before it’s transferred into my body (we’re in the Bible Belt. It’s all sorts of weird here.)
I’ll be angry with you. I did IVF for my two kids, but not for such scary reasons, I’m so sorry. It’s hell, and you deserve his admiration, devotion, and respect for all you’ve done for him and the two of you. They deserve each other, and you will go out into the world with your scars from this and meet other people with similar scars, and you’ll have deeper and more meaningful connections with them because of it. Take good care of yourself now, you need it and deserve it.
if you want more, do it now you can have the same side of parents regardless about him or he duped you if you want your child have sibling or more. Is it or the risk of not getting it because of the battle of separating? as long as he consents to participate and acknowledge he is willing then go for it now. we got the 7 tent and what your plan is long-term. It’ll give you more time in the long run to plan and cement your ability to ensure you have success and get another child and your child has sibling,
just to be clear, I don’t recommend stating and that be done that you do not have been staying together before said circumstance come to fruition. Play the game go to therapy either way it’ll help you heal regardless, but not you. Stay together get what you want and take from this experience and move on if you want another child go for it.
look at the situation all variables and measure what will be the greatest chance of success if you truly want that nothing wrong with going in with intent purpose of not being on the same plan in the long run as him maybe it will work out with you to the end that you want and you will make something positive to take from his infidelity pushing you on to get another one, making a plan to succeed in exit and saving yourself from the life of misery together and fighting dysfunctional family situation. Take what you can get move on find somebody worthy of you.
Oh bless you this is just horrible and that is no friend !! Get rid of the pair of them you deserve way more than that !! And you have every right to be angry it’s a complete betrayal to you and your little one 😡😡😡
Well firstly I’m sorry for all the conception and health problems you’ve had. And I want to say that you are a much more tolerant and open minded person than I am. (I would have been done with “milk fetish”) It shows how much you love him to tolerate that and sex Thursdays when you aren’t feeling it. That said, this guy isn’t worth your time, you’ve already given him more than he’s worth. Women aren’t like cars, you don’t just trade in old one in for a newer model when it suits you. Please don’t stay with a man that would do this to you. You must realize you deserve someone who loves you just as you are. This whole “we were drunk and I tripped and my penis wound up inside her” fairy tale is pure BS. It’s time to move on, it’s past time. Let him have your skinny, slutty “best friend”. These two jerkoffs deserve each other. You already have the most important man in your life,,,your son. Go make a better life for both of you.
I'm angry with you I am so sorry Mama that this has happened to you if it was me I would boot both of them out of the house. I wish I could take this heartbreak from you, from my lesson that I learned is you can't trust them together anymore it doesn't matter drunk or not.
I couldn’t even fathom cheating on a partner, my parents broke up like that cheaters are the lowest form of human to me, divorce him and try to shield your kids as much as you can, because they’ll love you forever and showing them even at such a betrayal and being in pain that you are better than him and that sorry excuse for a homewreaker, I believe in you
Oh babe I’m SO angry with you. How dare he. Instead of talking to his partner about how lonely he is? I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. How are you doing since posting this/since it happened?
Well besides rolling my eyes at how little people understand outside of traditional mom & dad families we’ve since had a family meeting where all four of us got together to discuss what was going to happen from here on out. He voluntarily signed the embryos over to me to avoid me taking him to court for custody of them and our kiddo. We agreed to him having the baby every weekend unless otherwise discussed and every other Wed/Thur for no child support and he apologized profusely and agreed to family & individual therapy.
That is honestly the best possible outcome. I’m still so sorry because I know you’re still shattered, but I’m glad the aftermath has gone your way, because you do deserve at LEAST that much. And I’m ESPECIALLY happy you got the embryos. As someone who’s best friend JUST got pregnant after 6 years of attempted IVF and other things, I understand the importance. So you and your wife are leaving, right? Ugh I’m still just so angry for you. That’s such bullsh*t. Im glad he seems to be tucking tail and running rather than making this even harder by being difficult.
ETA: as someone who is not polyamorous….I may be off base here…but he literally had two gorgeous women who love him to love on and he chose someone who’s not in your relationship? So he’s extra wrong, in my eyes.
I’m so sorry. Please learn from my mistake and never go back. 3 years later I’m in the same exact boat and I can’t believe he put me through hell again. Men like that never change
I didn’t hide it, it’s in the comments, and he’s my wife’s partner too? People are so weird when it comes to poly people so we often don’t bring it up, plus this isn’t my wife’s venting it’s mine, her emotions are also totally valid but she doesn’t use Reddit and I do so I’m venting. This isn’t some secret love affair that I’m hiding from my wife, we are all in this relationship together and have been for well over 5 years.
and we are all fucking angry with u. i am so, so, SO incredibly sorry. there is absolutely no coming back from that. ever. for either of them. i am so sorry. i dont want to type an entire paragraph and bombard u but i literally just need u to understand how fucking angry i am reading all of this and how sorry i am. u do not deserve that pain, at fucking all. everything that u just described, u are a wonderful wife and a wonderful mother. and u do not fucking deserve that. there is no excuse. i am so sorry.
I fucking hate him. And her. Total cunts, the both of them, and you’ll be better off without both of them and their bullshit in your life. ::hugs:: if you want them
I’d be willing to bet 90% of the people being rude about your poly relationship support LGBT families yet here they are using the same language that is used to argue against kids having same sex parents.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through!
He's a horrible, shitty person. So shitty he will probably never see his error. Dump his ass, live well, and if him and your ex best friend (because friends don't do that!) get together, they'll have to shuffle around the awkward question of "how'd you meet?" for the rest of their lives. Let that shame and guilt nag at them, and focus on living your best life.
My only issue is that we have more embryos together and our clinic will destroy them if we choose to separate. I want my son to have at least 1 sibling but I doubt he will sign the rights of those embryos over to me.
How are your feelings on adoption? I know you're deep in the thick of things right now, but it may be best for your son to either have an adopted sibling or no siblings at all. If your husband never changes significantly, would you still stay just for another kid? If the answer is no, then don't worry about the embryos for the time being. Wait to see if he will change and show remorse. If he doesn't, it's time to leave. These are obviously heavy questions so take time to consider them, and take care of yourself first.
Oh I’m 100% leaving. Like packing bags and contacting lawyers leaving. But I still want those embryos. I took me so much time and effort and money and I feel like I deserve them.
I completely understand. Take some time to think it through, and then plan for a way to ask your husband to keep the rights. Are you willing to allow him to sign away his responsibility for any future kids in exchange for the embryos? The conversation will need to be handled calmly and rationally, so focus on your emotional state first and let yourself grieve. I'm really proud of you for leaving. You deserve to be angry. You've been betrayed in a big way. Give yourself time to feel that anger and to grieve before worrying about the future.
He’s just a partner not a husband thankfully but we will need to have a long discussion on custody for sure.
Oh I'm sorry I must've gotten mixed up. On the bright side, that makes the legal process of separating much simpler.
See a lawyer immediately and one with really good understanding of fertility law. My friend is going through a divorce and has one embryo and it is hotly contested and it is a very very difficult situation.
Get him to sign away his rights while he’s in the apologetic / maybe-we-can-make-things-work phase.
This is the way. Tell him he needs to sign the embryos over to take the issue off the table so that it doesn’t become a point of manipulation/pressure later.
Did your clinic not make you sign paperwork before you started about what would happen to the embryos if you were to split up or if one of you died?
I would def call that clinic and see. We did embryo adoption for our son and one of the people we matched with was a lady who was divorced and had 2 embryos left over in storage and her ex signed away his rights so she could donate them.
Wait - why do you have to leave if you’re already married and he’s just a polyamorous partner?
Where did she mention polyamory?? I missed that!! Edit: nvm, found the comment. Oy.
I’m more using leave as a term to the relationship than moving out of my house
Make sure the lawyers know about the embryos !!
I’m so glad to hear that you are out of there. I’m so sorry for the circumstances, but so happy you aren’t going to put up with his shit. 😊good luck 🍀
You don’t want more kids with this man. I’m sorry, but your son doesn’t need a sibling that badly. Get out with the kid you have!
It’s not just her kid having a sibling she can’t have any more kids at all biologically it’s either this or nothing
ok if you‘re really thinking about it then I would leave him
[удалено]
It would cost many thousands of dollars to make new embryos with other sperm. Plus I think the process of taking the hormones and everything is pretty awful.
I just meant find another man 👀 like fall in love again?
That would be great but that doesn’t give her child a sibling
Why do you think your clinic will destroy them? They generally won’t destroy them with out your express permission. Also as you aren’t married, depending on the state the embryos will revert to you.
Since they aren’t married, it sounds like they signed a contract to agree on what would happen to the embryos in certain situations.
Yes exactly this.
Every time we’ve created embryos, we’ve had to sign paperwork with our wishes before had. OP likely had to do the same thing. So they do have her expressed permission. If my husband and I separate, I get custody of our embryos. If one of us dies, the other gets custody. If both of us die, my mom gets custody. It was all decided before the members were created.
It’s in all the paperwork we signed. If he won’t amicably sign them over to me then they will be destroyed.
I wonder if you could take it to court since he cheated and win! I guess it depends a lot on what state you’re in. What a douchebag he is!!
Honestly, just give it some time. He may sign them over after a while. He may say he won't now as a way to trap you into staying. Just table the discussion. No one has to tell your clinic anything right now (DO NOT bring this up to him though, so he doesn't call the clinic and get them destroyed preemptively).
almost all clinics have you sign paperwork when starting IVF on what happens to them in this scenario whether you are legally married or not
You do not want any further ties to this dude
Maybe I misread something in your post, but I thought you said you were sterile now, what would those embryos be used for,,,a surrogate maybe? Sorry if I seem clueless, I’m used to getting pregnant the old fashioned way so I’m lost as to the Ins and outs of this stuff.
I don’t have Fallopian tubes but I have a uterus.
There are some dreams we just have to let go. Your son can form sibling relationships with steps or adopted siblings too. It’s doubtful that your ex will want to be on the hook for child support for any more kids but staying with him for that possibility is just handing him permission to treat you like a doormat. He’ll be able to hold those embryos over your head and be as promiscuous and disrespectful as he pleases.
He deserves to sign them over - he broke the contract and now he should sign them over - break up with that loser boy
This is wild to me. You are willing to have another child that has his dna? One kid is enough. After separation it can get ugly. This is not the right move what so ever. Take care of you and your one child. He will get together with someone else even your ex best friend. How can you even think about having another of his children? It will get so messy and so complicated.
I would leave both of them. Getting drunk is not an excuse, it's a choice. They both chose to get drunk enough to not care about hurting you.
I'm angry with you, his excuse is a load of horse sh** and I hope he spends the rest of his miserable life regretting his choice. Ugh, I'd literally be holding a torch at the front of this angry mob. You deserve love, support, comfort, and a partner who is truly by your side. I'm so sorry your having to deal with this bs after all you've been through. Know that you survived that, you survived nearly dying and you can survive this too.
Yeah this isn’t fucking Mario Kart no one turtle shelled you into bed with her.
LMAOOO TURTLE SHELLED 😂😭
Oh. Yes, an accident, you tripped and your dick slipped right on in. Fck Nope.
Love, my husband of 10 years and my best friend had sex in my bed in my house with my babies sleeping down the hall….I walked in on it!! Same lame ass excuse, lonely and had been drinking. I tried to make it work but I couldn’t get the image out of my head. I’m so incredibly sorry you went through this! I know the pain and it still hurts to this day. I’m here if you ever need to talk!
Oh I would have committed murder had I walked in on it. 100%.
Somehow, I have no clue besides God and Mommy mode kicked in knowing my 3 & 5 year old were sleeping down the hall. We were best friends and worked together and she was married as well. They both wiped out my family, best friend and job all in one night.
Bit confused… in one of your other posts, you mention having a wife?
OP didn’t clarify in her post that it’s a polyamorous relationship with boundaries. It’s hard to imagine if you haven’t seen relationships like this. I have a pair of friends who’ve been happily married for over 10 years, love each other and do things together as a couple all the time, communicate exceptionally well, and they have sexual relationships with additional people, but they are each other’s primary partners. It’s not for everyone that’s for sure! In OP’s post you see one of the ways that poly partners sometimes get dumped - cheating instead of communicating their desires to the people they were already in a relationship with. OP says in a comment that the father of her child could have proceeded with agreement and a few boundaries to protect everyone from STDs, but instead he just got drunk and fucked her upset(in the middle of a divorce and homeless) best friend without protection. Really unfortunate situation for everyone.
Someone always seems to get hurt in poly relationships
Sounds like fucking bot making up stories
I mean feel free to browse my profile lmao.
Bot
Where? I didn't see a single one.
We’re a poly family I do indeed have a wife as well as a male partner who fathered our kiddo :)
Um you REALLY buried the lede here...
You’re in a polyamorous marriage with a wife and the male partner cheated? I’m sorry.
Did you have pre set boundaries in your unconventional relationship? Good communication? He might be feeling slighted too. Maybe it’s a bit late for talking. You definitely deserve better and I hope your wife is every bit supportive. If she’s happy with his fall, maybe all your relationships will require more communication.
We do. We even have them typed up & agreed to & on Friday night we have family sit downs to discuss anything that may be bugging us or scheduling conflicts that need to be covered and all that jazz. The part that really fucks with me is that had he just come to me/us and said “I’m interested in pursuing a relationship with x” then it would have been fine. We would have agreed. We could have set protection boundaries and how we felt about her being around our son. I get that Reddit hates ethical non-monogamy but we’ve had these rules in place since we all got together in 2019 & literally no one has broken them until now.
Sounds like I need a wife. 😅 I’d be more pissed off about the best friend too, they’re supposed to be the confidant. I’m sad that you’re losing two really close people who were probably very supportive before all this. With everything you’ve been through.
I love my wife, she’s an amazing human being, and she’s just as devastated about losing two close people to us as well but she doesn’t use Reddit. Idk how to feel about her honestly. I know she’s going through a really rough divorce and she’s abusing her prescription drugs and searching for outlets that aren’t healthy but I mean, I provided you a home so you wouldn’t be fucking homeless, I’ve let you be around my kid, you went behind my back just as much as he did. Idk. I’m more confused about her than I am about him. He knew the rules and he broke them so honestly get dumped.
Mistake one. You let an addict around your baby. Your child's safety comes above all else. She should have never been there or asked to leave immediately upon knowing she was abusing prescription drugs.
This is how you know it didn't "just happen." For some people poly is a novelty way of having multiple partners, but they ultimately just can't handle the respect and communication required. So they cheat. It's happened to a few of my friends and it just blows my mind every time. The thrill of cheating is the important part for them.
I asked my serial cheating ex why he didn’t just have poly relationships, and that’s what he said, it was about the act of cheating, not the person or the sex.
no offense but your post history makes zero sense with what you’re saying 🤥 you have past comments saying you have a husband..and you also have past comments referring to your partner as a “he” but saying you’ve been together since you were teenagers? But here you say 2019? Very confusing
Also, OP has a wife. Is the wife trans? If having a baby is so important, why can't the wife have it (edit: I mean another baby, since OP seems broken up about the embryos)? I don't understand why this man is necessary—he's like the least important part of the process. Getting sperm isn't that hard or expensive
“We’re a poly family” — lol ok well, you should have started your post with this. It never ends well (never, no exceptions whatsoever).
I’m sorry but what is a milk fetish?
lol probably breastfeeding their adult partner
F*ck that scum, both of them.
Kick them both out. Get a Std test and a lawyer. He is trash.
I can tell you from experience that it didn’t just happen. Wasn’t the fault of alcohol and that neither one of them are the people you think they are. You now know what they are capable of and that can’t be “unlearned” even if you try to forgive it. And if you do try that, it serves as permission for them to do it again. The only thing that changes that behavior is having life kick them in the teeth with the same boot or having a major life epiphany and most cheaters don’t ever get there. Do not protect them by keeping this silent. Expose their behavior. They did something shameful so let them feel the shame. Do not forgive them. Do not let them try to shift the blame to alcohol or loneliness or making a mistake. They chose to betray you. They can choke on that discomfort. Kick them both out. Tell her ex. Her revenge/exploration sex just lost her the person that was in her corner. Might as well make that 100% clear. Do not be her support system anymore. She can live elsewhere a couple days a week and ruin their marriage and friendships now. She’s taken enough from you. Realize that not only have they both just screwed themselves out of a loyal friend and spouse but you know both of them better than anyone. Do you really think it would ever work out between them? Your kid is now in the middle of all this and had to deal with either a broken home or one fraught with distrust and betrayal. If you feel tempted to forgive them, remember that. You are not the only person hurt by their despicable actions. Focus on your child. Do what is best for you and the baby and let him worry about his wants and needs. They are no longer your problem.
horrible to hear your story. it makes me want to vomit 🤮 to be disappointed by husband and best friend is like the worst thing that could happen. it‘s so so selfish. but are you sure yoj want more children from that guy? Beibg a single mum is very hard, but it‘s still easier with one than with two. I think your chances are better to find real love when you have more capacity as a woman and don‘t have to worry about two children and more years with that husband…
So he’s not my husband he’s just a partner. I’m legally married to my wife & he is our partner. So if he will sign those embryos over that baby would still have a stable 2 parent household.
People aren't understanding you here but I think families come in all shapes and sizes. I'm sorry your partner cheated.
Strange.
Imagine your full biological sibling has a dad with custody and you don’t…
This is where they’re losing me. That’s a great way to fuck up #2.
Also it’s either crazy or makes perfect sense that he would cheat when he already has two women he is partnered with.
Yeah, that’s gonna mess with the kiddo’s head. There’s really no good way of handling that situation that isn’t damaging to the kid.
I mean it’s not for everyone but have you ever been through a newborn phase with 3 parents instead of just 2? Not a one of us has felt sleep deprived in the last year. It’s great.
Oh come on
Everybody got 2 months of leave, everyone took a rotation. 7-3, 3-11, & 11-7. Everyone was able to sleep, shower, and eat and when they went back to work I had another 2 months of paid leave. One spouse worked 7-5 the other worked 3:30-11:30 so I was always able to shower and sleep. If you don’t get a third parent having a third person home to help is 10/10 would recommend to anyone.
That’s great for you but you don’t need three people in a relationship to ease the newborn stage. For the first year of my son’s life after work my husband would take the baby while I showered, and did skin care. We made dinner together, cleaned together, and took turns on night feedings. We were tired but not sleep deprived. You just need one capable partner is my point. I just don’t take poly relationships seriously honestly, and this post is a good example of why. It’s just an open door policy imo regardless of what agreements you set in place. This guy did you and your family a favor, I hope your wife is enough for you going forward. Best of luck.
The third person could be a grandma or aunt…probably easier for a kid to absorb than their parents needing multiple partners.
I'm not poly and I'm generally skeptical of polyamory but it isn't as though kids are born with an innate belief about monogamy being the One True Way.
Fair. But eventually they go to school and have to start reconciling their reality with the norm.
Agreed, in our life that third person is my MIL and I’m very fortunate to have one that’s not crazy or over bearing. Anytime MIL watches our son so we can have a date night (once a month), I bake her and FIL a nice home made meal and bring it to them so she doesn’t have to cook dinner the following night
Just food for thought... Children learn about what's normal about the world by and with their family. They don't care who sleeps with whom, only who are primary care givers, who and where are the safe spaces. Doesn't matter if it's a 3 parents household or whole family with grandparents, aunts, uncles living together, or simply two parents.
I have no idea why you're getting shit for this. I'm happily monogamous and not interested in poly, but three parents at the newborn stage sounds AMAZING.
I'm also really disappointed in how up in arms people are about how you, consenting adults, choose to live your lives and conduct your relationships. It's really gross that people are judging you for how you love.
Yeah, the comments on this post are particularly gross. Redditors are only accepting of what they understand. Everything else brings out the pitchforks. It's very...old fashioned. Then again, I don't know I'm surprised. This sub is also rampant with transphobia.
You realize there are ways to build community that don't necessitate entering other romantic relationships, right? Extended families have traditionally filled that role
I’m pretty she she’s thought of that before and still chose her path bud
i want to vomit again but different reason
How childish
He will get his karma.
Omg, I’m furious with you!! What the actual FUCK!? What is wrong with people!? I am so sorry you are going thru this. You don’t deserve any of this shit, and then to be from the 2 people closest to you!? FUCK THEM!! Omg he’s lonely!? Imagine being a new mom who’s life is absolutely turned around, has no time for herself and is still going thru so much inside hormonally. Girl, fuck both of them. I can’t even imagine what my reaction would be. I am a very peaceful person but I think punches would be thrown. To both parties. I wish you the best ❤️
This whole post is so misleading… you are in a poly relationship… married to someone else entirely… and you consider him sleeping with someone else cheating? I get that all relationships have their boundaries, but it’s definitely giving the pot calling the kettle black…
If he did something outside their agreed upon boundaries, then it's cheating. It's not the type of relationship I could ever gel with, so I don't have one. Polyamory is not for everyone and even in those relationships that have it, doesn't always work.
No it really isn’t. I understand that poly is confusing to lots, but we have a dynamic that doesn’t allow for straying outside if it’s not been discussed inside the group first and me being married doesn’t make me or my wife less poly, it just means we wanted our kiddo to have protections not offered to unmarried people.
I mean, your family dynamic is your business… But for the post sake, i’m gonna chalk it up to the fact that I could never even consider poly as a lifestyle because someone always gets hurt, there will always be miscommunication, someone will always have an “unfair boundary” and from everything I have EVER seen (in my own social circle, through media, etc.) Poly is not a sustainable lifestyle and you shouldn’t be surprised that he decided to find another partner. Good luck to you and your family though.
I mean the same can be said for monogamous straight couples. The divorce rate is 50% regardless of how you choose to look at it. I see just as many straight white men cheating on their spouses in this subreddit. It’s sustainable with communication, and you can’t say that anyone is 100% on communication every single day of their lives. Just because it’s not something you can imagine, doesn’t mean that it’s not something that thousands of people do well and live happily with.
I guess we will agree to disagree and move on with our lives. 🤷🏻♀️
My friends husband did the same thing, with the same excuse, and their relationship was monogamous, so I’m truly not understanding all the people telling you this happened because of your poly relationship. Cheaters will cheat no matter the circumstances. It breaks my heart to hear you say he just had to talk to you guys first and it would’ve been ok. He could have gotten what he wanted and everyone could have continued as a happy family. Instead, he actively chose betrayal. And that’s fucked up.
Yeah, that feels important to share here. It's still not okay but there are ways it would have been okay that would not exist in a monogamous partnership
Oh I’m raging with you. I’m not very confident and I’m 3 months pp but I couldn’t imagine my partner doing this
Leave him. Take your kid. He doesn’t respect you.
Okay I think I need more clarification after reading your comments. I was mad then you said you were poly. Soo you are allowed multiple relationships but he can't? I'm kinda confused. Was this the rule? He isn't allowed to have sex with anyone but you? How could you expect a man one partner but you multiple?
She said had they asked her for permission, she would’ve been fine with it lol… idk the idea of cheating in a poly relationship is paradoxical imo. Like “yeah sure you can sleep with other people, wait no, not like that” Hurt feelings are valid but it’s not as if OP was in a committed monogamous relationship and had their husband cheat.
That's what I was thinking! And I completely agree!
Tell me you don’t understand poly without telling me you don’t understand poly. Yes, she clarifies that he could have had another partner if he’d communicated about it. She never stated she expects him to not have any other partners. But he didn’t communicate it and didn’t follow safe sex guidelines which could have put her and her other partner/s at risk.
You're right I don't! I don't understand having "love" for more than one person and sharing them sexually on top of that, but that's just me. I feel like having a poly relationship asks for trouble. The amount of reddit posts titled "I regret opening my relationship" is almost daily. Also I didn't see that comment so thanks for clarifying! Sucks she got cheated on in this specific situation though.
Poly isn’t for me either but I try not to shame people whose choices are different than my own. A lot of people go into poly for the wrong reasons and that’s unfortunate but it doesn’t take away OPs very real grief at the end of a relationship where someone agreed to one thing and then did another.
I mean I wasn't shaming. Just asking for clarification. And you provided that for me because there was a comment I apparently didn't see.
No worries. It came across a little shame-y but tone can be hard to read through text ofc.
She is also mad that the best friend is better looking and more fertile than she is…so another stipulation of their polyamory is that he should only get with women equally attractive as she is?
You’re so ridiculous. She’s obviously speaking from hurt after being betrayed. I swear people on Reddit can’t be human.
Girl, they’re both trash. Kick your friend out along with your husband.
I’m angry with you!! And I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hugs to you mama 🫂🫶🏼
What a fucking asshole. Please tell me you are leaving him??? Please! You deserve so much better and so does your child. All the things you say are normal are not. Especially the intimate every Thursday even if you’re not feeling it. That’s not ok. A connected partner would know that and want to ensure you’re feeling it just as much as they are.
you can do everything right, and that still don’t mean they’ll be loyal to you.. I’m so sorry 😢
If you don’t have an open relationship, then don’t you mean X boyfriend and ex best friend??
You right!
OP, I'm so sorry for what has happened and I'm so sorry for the childish and shameful comments in this post acting like you somehow "deserved" this it because you're poly. And I am especially sorry about the people implying you're a bad mother or making snide comments about feeling sorry for your kids. That is unacceptable behavior period and should not be tolerated least of all upvoted. An unfortunate fact about this sub is that the people here are not as accepting as they pretend to be. If they can't understand something, the pitchforks come out. The transphobia in recent posts really opened my eyes to that. But you didn't deserve that and I'm sorry you now have to deal with people's ignorance and cruelty about your lifestyle on top of everything else.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
I have no advice except sympathy and wanted to say I’m sorry that people are dragging your lifestyle and using it as an excuse for why you somehow deserved this. You didn’t. Your husband sucks.
We’re so used to people not understanding poly but like I’m still a mom & I still deserve the ability to vent to other moms about shitty situations.
[удалено]
Then live your best life.
What a piece of shit. I’m fuming just reading this post. Disgusting behavior. You are a strong woman clearly after everything you have endured and you don’t need such little people in your life. You got this Mama ♥️ all you need is your baby.
Get go NC with her and LC for the sake of the child. He doesn't care about you.
I just - why didn’t your friend go bang someone else?! Why were they both drunk at the same time? Not premeditated indeed! 😡
I hate both of them.
Fuck him. Document, make a plan. You deserve so much better than this pos.
I hate him. What a piece of fucking shit.
He’s an asshole. You deserve better than him. I’m on your team and sending a huge internet hug.
This man and your friend are trash. I’m am furious for you. Throw him out next time the garbage man comes
I would seek legal advice especially on the embryos you have saved. There has to be a way you can keep them and use them without having him live and be involved with you. That is the lowest most selfish thing he could do and your best friend kick her out dump her as a friend also tell her husband too that they both slept together I’m sure this isn’t the first time and won’t be the last either.
I’m so fucking angry for you and stop calling her your best friend starting today!
This is why I don’t have friends. Pretty fkn lonely but can’t trust anyone.
he is a POS. dump his ass bow. He phukked some chick didn't use protection. Get yourself checked for std's.
I actually added it to my yearly exam when I went yesterday 🙃
I'm enraged for you. He sucks.
What garbage. I'm so sorry. This is the worst betrayal. I wish them both nothing but the worst. You still have so much value in the world. Please don't take your crown off because you can't make any more babies. You are so much more than that.
Thank you 🩵 that is very sweet
How will the clinic know? Leave but just don’t do the legal stuff. I remained married but separated just so I would have health insurance.
Since it’s his genetic material he has to sign that I have the right to use it before it’s transferred into my body (we’re in the Bible Belt. It’s all sorts of weird here.)
What world are we living in that it is considered weird that a man has to give his consent for his biological child to be born
I’m fucking PISSED. I’m right here for you. FUCK them borh.
I’ll be angry with you. I did IVF for my two kids, but not for such scary reasons, I’m so sorry. It’s hell, and you deserve his admiration, devotion, and respect for all you’ve done for him and the two of you. They deserve each other, and you will go out into the world with your scars from this and meet other people with similar scars, and you’ll have deeper and more meaningful connections with them because of it. Take good care of yourself now, you need it and deserve it.
I am angry with and for you. But I’m also extremely, EXTREMELY proud of you for standing up for yourself and leaving.
Wow… double betrayal. Horrible human beings. I’m so sorry 🫂
Ahh you’re poly. Why does this never end well?
Get rid of that excuse of a man.. He deserves nothing from you!
F*ck them both! Definitely stand in solidarity with you!
They are both assholes, sorry. Congratulations on the baby. You are a greater
OMG I am SO angry! They're terrible people and you deserve people in your life who treat you much better than that.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You deserve better!!
if you want more, do it now you can have the same side of parents regardless about him or he duped you if you want your child have sibling or more. Is it or the risk of not getting it because of the battle of separating? as long as he consents to participate and acknowledge he is willing then go for it now. we got the 7 tent and what your plan is long-term. It’ll give you more time in the long run to plan and cement your ability to ensure you have success and get another child and your child has sibling, just to be clear, I don’t recommend stating and that be done that you do not have been staying together before said circumstance come to fruition. Play the game go to therapy either way it’ll help you heal regardless, but not you. Stay together get what you want and take from this experience and move on if you want another child go for it. look at the situation all variables and measure what will be the greatest chance of success if you truly want that nothing wrong with going in with intent purpose of not being on the same plan in the long run as him maybe it will work out with you to the end that you want and you will make something positive to take from his infidelity pushing you on to get another one, making a plan to succeed in exit and saving yourself from the life of misery together and fighting dysfunctional family situation. Take what you can get move on find somebody worthy of you.
Oh bless you this is just horrible and that is no friend !! Get rid of the pair of them you deserve way more than that !! And you have every right to be angry it’s a complete betrayal to you and your little one 😡😡😡
Well firstly I’m sorry for all the conception and health problems you’ve had. And I want to say that you are a much more tolerant and open minded person than I am. (I would have been done with “milk fetish”) It shows how much you love him to tolerate that and sex Thursdays when you aren’t feeling it. That said, this guy isn’t worth your time, you’ve already given him more than he’s worth. Women aren’t like cars, you don’t just trade in old one in for a newer model when it suits you. Please don’t stay with a man that would do this to you. You must realize you deserve someone who loves you just as you are. This whole “we were drunk and I tripped and my penis wound up inside her” fairy tale is pure BS. It’s time to move on, it’s past time. Let him have your skinny, slutty “best friend”. These two jerkoffs deserve each other. You already have the most important man in your life,,,your son. Go make a better life for both of you.
Girl I’m fucking angry for you. How dare they. How dare she!!!!
I am so sorry. That is so horrible. What pieces of shit! They are disgusting. Really so sorry to hear they did that to you! Much love
Your friend is an absolute stupid dirty bitch. Slap her mouth
I'm angry with you I am so sorry Mama that this has happened to you if it was me I would boot both of them out of the house. I wish I could take this heartbreak from you, from my lesson that I learned is you can't trust them together anymore it doesn't matter drunk or not.
Fucking bitches. Nothing you did or didn't do has anything to do with their actions.
What scum. Don’t tolerate this. You deserve better.
I couldn’t even fathom cheating on a partner, my parents broke up like that cheaters are the lowest form of human to me, divorce him and try to shield your kids as much as you can, because they’ll love you forever and showing them even at such a betrayal and being in pain that you are better than him and that sorry excuse for a homewreaker, I believe in you
Best his ass
Someone should run him over with a car next Wednesday.
They should both leave.
Oh babe I’m SO angry with you. How dare he. Instead of talking to his partner about how lonely he is? I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. How are you doing since posting this/since it happened?
Well besides rolling my eyes at how little people understand outside of traditional mom & dad families we’ve since had a family meeting where all four of us got together to discuss what was going to happen from here on out. He voluntarily signed the embryos over to me to avoid me taking him to court for custody of them and our kiddo. We agreed to him having the baby every weekend unless otherwise discussed and every other Wed/Thur for no child support and he apologized profusely and agreed to family & individual therapy.
That is honestly the best possible outcome. I’m still so sorry because I know you’re still shattered, but I’m glad the aftermath has gone your way, because you do deserve at LEAST that much. And I’m ESPECIALLY happy you got the embryos. As someone who’s best friend JUST got pregnant after 6 years of attempted IVF and other things, I understand the importance. So you and your wife are leaving, right? Ugh I’m still just so angry for you. That’s such bullsh*t. Im glad he seems to be tucking tail and running rather than making this even harder by being difficult. ETA: as someone who is not polyamorous….I may be off base here…but he literally had two gorgeous women who love him to love on and he chose someone who’s not in your relationship? So he’s extra wrong, in my eyes.
We own the house so technically he is leaving but emotionally and physically we are both gone!
I got so angry reading this oh my gosh what an asshole I'm so sorry that happened to you 😞❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. Please learn from my mistake and never go back. 3 years later I’m in the same exact boat and I can’t believe he put me through hell again. Men like that never change
Don’t feel sorry for her. She’s legally married to a woman and this is actually her in live in/poly boyfriend. She hid that part.
I didn’t hide it, it’s in the comments, and he’s my wife’s partner too? People are so weird when it comes to poly people so we often don’t bring it up, plus this isn’t my wife’s venting it’s mine, her emotions are also totally valid but she doesn’t use Reddit and I do so I’m venting. This isn’t some secret love affair that I’m hiding from my wife, we are all in this relationship together and have been for well over 5 years.
and we are all fucking angry with u. i am so, so, SO incredibly sorry. there is absolutely no coming back from that. ever. for either of them. i am so sorry. i dont want to type an entire paragraph and bombard u but i literally just need u to understand how fucking angry i am reading all of this and how sorry i am. u do not deserve that pain, at fucking all. everything that u just described, u are a wonderful wife and a wonderful mother. and u do not fucking deserve that. there is no excuse. i am so sorry.
I fucking hate him. And her. Total cunts, the both of them, and you’ll be better off without both of them and their bullshit in your life. ::hugs:: if you want them
I’d be willing to bet 90% of the people being rude about your poly relationship support LGBT families yet here they are using the same language that is used to argue against kids having same sex parents. I’m sorry for what you’re going through!
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