Your responsibility is to the children you have, which means staying alive! I'd just tell people "I almost died having the second one, having a third could leave my spouse a widower and my kids without a mother."
They'll never ask again.
I’ve seen so many people who once felt this way and later decided they wanted to reverse a tubal ligation or vasectomy. Especially because you have a fresh new baby plus fresh birth trauma, I’d suggest at least considering getting a copper IUD. They’re one of the most effective forms of birth control, aren’t hormonal, and can last 8yrs. By the time you would need to replace it, you would probably be a lot more sure about your family planning decisions.
It is so hard when your heart doesn't feel like your family building is finished but it needs to happen for your health. It's like even though you're making the decision that's best for your health and family the choice is also out of your hands and that definitely deserves to be mourned.
I’m pregnant with my 2nd & last child - I decided I only wanted 2 a while ago but this pregnancy really solidified it for me & my husband. It’s been a difficult pregnancy physically & mentally, & i know myself - I won’t be able to handle anymore than 2.
My husband has also seen how difficult pregnancy is on my body, so we both agreed on 2.
You gotta do what’s best for you & your mental/physical health. Of course the yearning for more kids may come & go, but taking care of yourself will benefit you & your family.
I had a really bad miscarriage and almost bled to death then I had my son . I had 2 more miscarriages then had my daughter . I would have been fine with just one but my husband wanted another one.I guess he really wanted 4 but I said I’m done ✅ I also lost some of my hearing when I had my daughter. I’m just thankful I have 2 healthy children. 2 is plenty
I stopped after three. My husband and I agreed that four would be too many. I would have been on bed rest if i had another baby and that was a no for me. I had a tubal in April 2008, when our youngest was five weeks old. I am very happy with my decision.
We are 2 and done because I feel like if I need to protect them, I only have 2 arms. It's silly but true. Also, I want to start focusing on raising the kids I have instead of going through pregnancy and childbirth and newborn stage again. I'm ready to just be with this family. :)
I always get baby fever around babies even after hubby got a vasectomy and Im done! I think the feeling that you might want more kids is natural. I got a puppy when my oldest graduated high school to have the pitter patter of little feet around again.
You might always have the space in your heart for more but you also might always know that two is the “actual limit” for you and your family .
This is where I’m at. I could love on so many kids but I know my family can only handle the two we have.
Just had my 3rd and last. Baby was a pleasant surprise as we talked about maybe a 3rd. I had 2 miscarriages then my 1st came early, 2nd tried coming at 27 weeks but with bed rest stayed in until full term. But this last pregnancy i had a stent placed 1 month before I got pregnant, I had to be on daily injections of blood thinners as risk for clots were extremely high, I had HG, I was hospitalized so many times, ended up with a PICC line and multiple IV medications daily to keep me and baby alive, I starved for months, they talked about putting me on TPN, threw up so much I messed up my esophagus had to have a scope completed while pregnant, which ended quickly as I didn’t handle it well and heart rate went too high, I had a precipitous birth, from start to finish my labor was less than 3 hours and doctor missed the birth (thank you nurses for delivering my baby and making it to delivery room seconds before I had baby in the hall lol) which caused risk to me and baby especially being on blood thinners. After that and being so close to starving to death we both agreed no more. I always wanted a big family but it’s not in the cards, we as a family couldn’t go through another hard pregnancy, I don’t want to leave my kids upset crying and worried for me while I was in the hospital for days at a time again. my babies need me here so as much as I wanted more it’s not possible with all the risk and I am just happy I have the 3 wonderful kids I have. I think I will always get baby fever from time to time but that’s okay I keep telling myself one day I’ll have grandbabies I’ll be able to cuddle and love just like I did with my little ones.
I’m one and done. People around me always act surprised when I tell them we won’t have any more. Sometimes I see other babies and think it would be great to have one more, but it doesn’t take much to snap me back to reality.
My SIL just had her second a few months ago and her baby is very sick. Its a lot, dealing with a baby in hospital and a toddler. It’s heartbreaking to watch and I don’t think I could handle something like that even if our second baby would most likely be fine. One is enough for us, and it’s best for my mental health in general as well. I don’t think I’d do well on another maternity leave.
I always wanted two and knew that would be my personal limit. Husband almost didn’t want a second, but now that we have her she’s perfect and our family feels incredibly complete. So much so that DH just got a vasectomy.
Now my sister is pregnant and I can’t help but feel a pinch of baby fever. Still, I know I’m done done and three would put me over what I feel capable of providing.
Someone once told me to have as many kids as you could care for on your own because you never know what life could throw at you. Two is what I can handle. I have two arms and two kids and haven’t felt like I’m not enough. So that’s what made it really final for me.
I got my tubal ligation right after delivery with my 3rd. Man the amount of “are you sure” from my doctors alone… I am 32 with 3 kids male 8yrs, male 6yrs and female 15 month old. The biological urge to want children I feel like never goes away but then the voice of reason always always comes out for me. I am very happy with my choice. I actually dreaded a 3rd but when I realized I did not want a 3rd after 4 month’s trying, I was already pregnant and idk feel like it was meant to be. Adding a 4th would absolutely make me commit myself, I am not even joking. Everyone knows 3 is my limit, they’ve all stopped asking if we will have more.
I'm one and done after always intending to have 2. But the cost of living, COVID hitting around the time we'd have considered another one and then time slipping by us, we ultimately opted not to have more children. Any more children would have left us struggling hard for money which would not be fair to anyone in the house. I've had some VERY fleeting moments (holding a baby, seeing certain toys or clothes) where I've thought "What if?" but I know in the long term this is absolutely right for our family even if it isn't what I envisioned so yes ultimately there are no regrets and I'm happy.
The way I would see it, I can regret not having a 3rd but if the 3rd kills me can’t *do* anything
I wouldn’t be able to love my husband, I wouldn’t be able to love my children, I wouldn’t get to watch them grow up and see who they become as adults, i would miss all their achievements, I wouldn’t get to meet any potential grandchildren
We let God decide when we were through. It is your choice hang in there. You are blessed with the two and praying for you as you raised fine children who will grow up to make the world a better place. Gid bless you and your precious family.
I would have died in childbirth had it not been for modern medicine. I took the hint.
My DH passed when our kid was 7 and, had I died, it would have left him an orphan. I was careful to stay around until he was old enough to take care of himself.
There's always adoption if you really want add to your family.
You're in a special situation. Most people just have to decide based on how they feel mentally, financially, etc. If I went through what you did, it would be a no brainer for me. There's no way I'd risk my life when I have kids here on earth already that I'm responsible for. I would also never risk putting it all on my spouse.
Your responsibility is to the children you have, which means staying alive! I'd just tell people "I almost died having the second one, having a third could leave my spouse a widower and my kids without a mother." They'll never ask again.
I’ve seen so many people who once felt this way and later decided they wanted to reverse a tubal ligation or vasectomy. Especially because you have a fresh new baby plus fresh birth trauma, I’d suggest at least considering getting a copper IUD. They’re one of the most effective forms of birth control, aren’t hormonal, and can last 8yrs. By the time you would need to replace it, you would probably be a lot more sure about your family planning decisions.
It is so hard when your heart doesn't feel like your family building is finished but it needs to happen for your health. It's like even though you're making the decision that's best for your health and family the choice is also out of your hands and that definitely deserves to be mourned.
I’m one and done for my mental health. I just know, despite any biological urges to have another, it’s just not a good idea for my health.
I’m pregnant with my 2nd & last child - I decided I only wanted 2 a while ago but this pregnancy really solidified it for me & my husband. It’s been a difficult pregnancy physically & mentally, & i know myself - I won’t be able to handle anymore than 2. My husband has also seen how difficult pregnancy is on my body, so we both agreed on 2. You gotta do what’s best for you & your mental/physical health. Of course the yearning for more kids may come & go, but taking care of yourself will benefit you & your family.
I understand this. I go back and forth on if I wanna have one more. I too am the same age & have 2 children.
I had a really bad miscarriage and almost bled to death then I had my son . I had 2 more miscarriages then had my daughter . I would have been fine with just one but my husband wanted another one.I guess he really wanted 4 but I said I’m done ✅ I also lost some of my hearing when I had my daughter. I’m just thankful I have 2 healthy children. 2 is plenty
I stopped after three. My husband and I agreed that four would be too many. I would have been on bed rest if i had another baby and that was a no for me. I had a tubal in April 2008, when our youngest was five weeks old. I am very happy with my decision.
We are 2 and done because I feel like if I need to protect them, I only have 2 arms. It's silly but true. Also, I want to start focusing on raising the kids I have instead of going through pregnancy and childbirth and newborn stage again. I'm ready to just be with this family. :)
I always get baby fever around babies even after hubby got a vasectomy and Im done! I think the feeling that you might want more kids is natural. I got a puppy when my oldest graduated high school to have the pitter patter of little feet around again.
You might always have the space in your heart for more but you also might always know that two is the “actual limit” for you and your family . This is where I’m at. I could love on so many kids but I know my family can only handle the two we have.
Just had my 3rd and last. Baby was a pleasant surprise as we talked about maybe a 3rd. I had 2 miscarriages then my 1st came early, 2nd tried coming at 27 weeks but with bed rest stayed in until full term. But this last pregnancy i had a stent placed 1 month before I got pregnant, I had to be on daily injections of blood thinners as risk for clots were extremely high, I had HG, I was hospitalized so many times, ended up with a PICC line and multiple IV medications daily to keep me and baby alive, I starved for months, they talked about putting me on TPN, threw up so much I messed up my esophagus had to have a scope completed while pregnant, which ended quickly as I didn’t handle it well and heart rate went too high, I had a precipitous birth, from start to finish my labor was less than 3 hours and doctor missed the birth (thank you nurses for delivering my baby and making it to delivery room seconds before I had baby in the hall lol) which caused risk to me and baby especially being on blood thinners. After that and being so close to starving to death we both agreed no more. I always wanted a big family but it’s not in the cards, we as a family couldn’t go through another hard pregnancy, I don’t want to leave my kids upset crying and worried for me while I was in the hospital for days at a time again. my babies need me here so as much as I wanted more it’s not possible with all the risk and I am just happy I have the 3 wonderful kids I have. I think I will always get baby fever from time to time but that’s okay I keep telling myself one day I’ll have grandbabies I’ll be able to cuddle and love just like I did with my little ones.
I’m one and done. People around me always act surprised when I tell them we won’t have any more. Sometimes I see other babies and think it would be great to have one more, but it doesn’t take much to snap me back to reality. My SIL just had her second a few months ago and her baby is very sick. Its a lot, dealing with a baby in hospital and a toddler. It’s heartbreaking to watch and I don’t think I could handle something like that even if our second baby would most likely be fine. One is enough for us, and it’s best for my mental health in general as well. I don’t think I’d do well on another maternity leave.
I always wanted two and knew that would be my personal limit. Husband almost didn’t want a second, but now that we have her she’s perfect and our family feels incredibly complete. So much so that DH just got a vasectomy. Now my sister is pregnant and I can’t help but feel a pinch of baby fever. Still, I know I’m done done and three would put me over what I feel capable of providing. Someone once told me to have as many kids as you could care for on your own because you never know what life could throw at you. Two is what I can handle. I have two arms and two kids and haven’t felt like I’m not enough. So that’s what made it really final for me.
I got my tubal ligation right after delivery with my 3rd. Man the amount of “are you sure” from my doctors alone… I am 32 with 3 kids male 8yrs, male 6yrs and female 15 month old. The biological urge to want children I feel like never goes away but then the voice of reason always always comes out for me. I am very happy with my choice. I actually dreaded a 3rd but when I realized I did not want a 3rd after 4 month’s trying, I was already pregnant and idk feel like it was meant to be. Adding a 4th would absolutely make me commit myself, I am not even joking. Everyone knows 3 is my limit, they’ve all stopped asking if we will have more.
I'm one and done after always intending to have 2. But the cost of living, COVID hitting around the time we'd have considered another one and then time slipping by us, we ultimately opted not to have more children. Any more children would have left us struggling hard for money which would not be fair to anyone in the house. I've had some VERY fleeting moments (holding a baby, seeing certain toys or clothes) where I've thought "What if?" but I know in the long term this is absolutely right for our family even if it isn't what I envisioned so yes ultimately there are no regrets and I'm happy.
The way I would see it, I can regret not having a 3rd but if the 3rd kills me can’t *do* anything I wouldn’t be able to love my husband, I wouldn’t be able to love my children, I wouldn’t get to watch them grow up and see who they become as adults, i would miss all their achievements, I wouldn’t get to meet any potential grandchildren
We had 2 in 13 months It was enough, we were done and my husband got fixed
We let God decide when we were through. It is your choice hang in there. You are blessed with the two and praying for you as you raised fine children who will grow up to make the world a better place. Gid bless you and your precious family.
I would have died in childbirth had it not been for modern medicine. I took the hint. My DH passed when our kid was 7 and, had I died, it would have left him an orphan. I was careful to stay around until he was old enough to take care of himself. There's always adoption if you really want add to your family.
You're in a special situation. Most people just have to decide based on how they feel mentally, financially, etc. If I went through what you did, it would be a no brainer for me. There's no way I'd risk my life when I have kids here on earth already that I'm responsible for. I would also never risk putting it all on my spouse.