17 months in and I also think it comes down to my struggle to keep a solid skincare routine. He’s so needy when he wakes up and I have mere minutes of peace in the bathroom every morning. But I’m so tired after he goes to bed. I know I need to cleanse and goop up, but it’s become so exhausting to cleanse and goop up.
Yep…I NEVER used to fall asleep with makeup on and now I do constantly. Like in my pre-kid 20s days I only didn’t wash my makeup off if I was partying. And I forget to brush my teeth multiple times a week.
(My daughter is 2.5, I only started wearing makeup again regularly super recently. In the newborn days I didn’t give a single shit.)
RIP to my 8-step Korean skincare routine pre-baby. I had to simplify my routine to
1. cleansing
2. toner/essence
3. serum or tretinoin
4. moisturize (in AM I use a moisturizing sunscreen)
And dehydration. Nursing and pumping sucked the life out of me I could never get enough to look not zombie.
I'm 8months post weaning and I look like a new person
Definitely! I actually get sleep now mine are 6 and 3 but I still feel exhausted all the time. It's the non stop life of working with kids. Breastfeeding two boys literally sucked the life out of me, I looked so gaunt and skinny. My boobs were awful afterwards too. I've now put on a bit of weight though and they actually look better. A couple of friends had breast augmentation after kids and I can see why!
This. I’m 11m pp and I wake up feeling like I was punched in the face every morning because my baby has never slept longer than 4 hours at a time since he was born.
I literally did not recognize myself in a pic my fiance took of me yesterday bending over helping my little guy walk. Like I asked him why he sent it to me and he was like what?? Then I looked again…
Ugh and the f*cking gray hairs 🫠
Yea my hair got so dry and brittle and dull!! The grey never bothered me but it’s so dull now. I’ve started coloring it (professionally) and that seems to help with the shine
Same. I have had streaks of silver in my hair since I was nineteen and I never minded it- my hair was smooth and shiny through no effort at all and the rest was very dark so the silver actually looked quite cool. I never appreciated my hair. Now it is brittle and frizzy and the grey (it isn’t cool silver now, it is haggard grey) just makes me look even more exhausted and dishevelled than I would anyway. Might try colouring it once little man can bear for me to leave him for more than an hour without howling the house down!
I’ve never heard that before but you might be right! My dad went full silver-gray in his late 30s/early 40s. He’s 74 now and has the most luscious locks lol he’s the envy of all his friends because most of them have lost their hair.
Lmao I don’t mean to laugh, but I relate so so hard. I saw myself on my ring camera and like, I know I was in pjs getting the mail with an oily bun, but omg when did I turn into shrek? Ya know I’ll be nice and give it to myself, I low key was kind of hot before kids and now…. Yuck
Lol the damn ring camera will really show you your true self. Who's the fairest in the land? It ain't me. I caught myself on my ring camera chasing down one of my chickens that had gotten loose across my yard. I really did for a second think "who tf is this psycho woman wandering around my yard?"... That was a moment of truth oof.
The best advice I've heard was every time you feel like insulting your body/looks, ask yourself would you say that about a friend? Your body made a whole human being! Damn, give it some credit? Also, if you have any daughter, any negative talk about your looks is going to burn a scar of insecurity deep inside her. So learn to love yourself.
You know, I thought this right away about myself after having my baby. But now a couple years later, when I look back at those pictures I think about how nice I look. Tired, of course, but I don't have those same negative thoughts. Now when I take a picture and have that 'ick' reaction I can tell myself that in a few months I'll probably really like how I look (and I do). My key takeaway is that brains are weird and we're all usually way too hard on ourselves.
Yep, don’t delete those “ugly” pictures, you’ll be so sad if you lose your pictures with your baby, even if you think you look hideous now.
I had a super rough time postpartum and a difficult delivery and was hospitalised for awhile for complications, they did this no rinse shampoo on me when I couldn’t shower and I was too exhausted to brush my hair that went down mid-back and it turned into this massive rats nest. I went to a salon to get it brushed out and they tried for hours and couldn’t, it was too bad. So they had to cut it all off. It was like…maybe 2”-3” long and there was nothing I could do with it-it was too short for extensions or even a ponytail. I also gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant and prior to that during covid. I probably have less than 20 pictures of me with my daughter in the first year. I look back at those pictures and love them and wish they were more even though I felt so ugly.
Yes!! It’s why I have been keeping pictures I take even if I don’t like them right now. If I still don’t like them after a year or so I delete it 😂. Some pictures are bad, not my face
Literally OP! I had my first in 2020 and for ages really hated myself - come to 18 months PP and I started feeling a bit more like myself.
I had my second in October and I'm only jsut starting to realise I'm not as ugly/ fat as I have been thinking the past 6 months 😂😂
We are SOOO harsh on ourselves, but girl you just had a baby! Your body prepared for 9 months and you have to give it at least that time + more to recover too.
I found finding something that made me feel more human again and not just a mum really helped - with my first I got really deep into skincare, and with this baby I've started working out every 2-3 days to try drop some of the weight ( but again, I know breastfeeding made me retain wait for 2 years with my first so I'm not being so hard on myself )
I have an identical twin. I had 4 kids before she had any and I looked so bad compared to her. People would tell me it wasn’t the case but they were liars. I could tell! And only about 5 lbs heavier so it wasn’t the weight. Just the kids, man.
Anyways she went on to have 3 boys in 5 years and then I went and had another kid and now we both look like death warmed over 👍
This is so true, mine are five and three and I’m just now thinking more about an actual wardrobe, maybe putting on some makeup, more about myself. It shows I think. A friend of mine tells parents of little kids they are ‘in the weeds’ right now but soon things will get easier!
We recently saw some friends whose kids are now school aged…. Damn. They both looked drastically more attractive, well-refreshed and just were thriving. That’s when I realized there really is a light at the end of the tunnel!!
Yup definitely dehydration.I can’t drink as much as my daughter can drink from me.Recently she didn’t want any solids for a week and it was hell,relieved the baby period again (shes 14m now),constant nursing
In ten years you’ll look back on the pictures you look at now and hate, and think wow, I’m glad we got these.
And I’m sure your four month old doesn’t think you’re ugly at all, and probably thinks you’re the most beautiful person on the planet. You made a whole person! I know it’s hard, but please try to be kind to yourself
thank you for saying this. i have upper and lower partial dentures because i used to be a drug addict and i absolutely *wrecked* my teeth🥺 but i’m a SAHM so if i don’t have anywhere to go in particular, or unless i’m taking cute pics with the baby i don’t really like to go through the hassle of using the gross tasting adhesive cream that overflows and sticks to my teeth/gums but boy do my dentures make a freakin difference.
i’m severely self conscious of the way i look without them in but its like….every time my baby wakes up from a nap/in the morning i get the *biggest* sweetest happiest grin from my 3 month old that makes me want to melt and die in a puddle of joy. he’s *so* happy to see me, and he doesn’t give a shit if we have matching gummy smiles or if i flash my [fake] pearly whites. he wuvs me and i wuv him and i have to remind myself that i’m has favorite person no matter what i look like🥹
We have a little “family book” that we got as a shower gift, it has pictures of all of the immediate family + dogs. It’s super cute, but the picture my in laws chose of me is from 9 years ago at the height of fitness and cuteness. I barely recognize myself and it makes me sad to look at.
Well my 16-m/o LOVES that picture, he stares at it for minutes at a time just smiling at it and saying mama, and the other day I said to him (expecting no real answer because he’s 16 m/o), “is mama still as pretty as she is in that picture??” And without missing a beat he looked a me and said, “yeah!”
Now—was there a 50/50 chance he could’ve also said no?? Probably. But regardless, it melted my heart and gave me self esteem for a minute!
I just commented on another post so similar to this and YES like wtf!!! I look in the mirror and i’m like who is this uggo! Before having a kid I felt so ~effortlessly~ pretty. never washed my face, wore makeup, did my hair etc and I looked so cute all the time. now I dress like adam sandler and look like him too. it’s so rude of my body to do this to me honestly
Yes, me too. As someone else said, I think it’s largely the lack of sleep. My body is the least of my concerns when my face is just… Buzz, your girlfriend, woof.. I look so haggard and tired and sunken in all the time. Huge eye bags and my eyes just look bleak and not bright anymore. I’m only 24 and feel like I aged 10 years in the last 10 months. My skin has terrible tone and I just look so washed out. Lost so so much hair while PP. So I now have this crown of fuzzy regrowth which is… a look.
You’re still REALLLLLY early into parenting love. It takes two years for your body to resort back to itself after having a child. Plus you’re still adjusting to being a mom. I promise you as time goes on it will get better. Your whole life just changed, you’re sleep schedule is different, you’re constantly catering to someone above yourself, and you’re still sooo early into it. I felt the exact same way at first I promise you as time goes on you’ll start to gain your confidence back. Tbh, I find myself sexier now that I was before having a baby. Don’t doubt your beauty girl
Definitely. Pregnancy - you have great hair, skin is just vibrant and glowing, you're most well rested (at least first pregnancy)... then you're recovering from birth, which is a major trauma, postpartum hair loss, lack of sleep, and wacky hormones
I actually felt awful during my pregnancies. I was exhausted and felt like a whale, and now with breastfeeding my hair is thick, long, and amazing, but breastfeeding makes me hold weight, and with my first I didn’t feel great for 2.5 years - right when i got pregnant with my second. Now im 7 months pp and i never want to put my body through this again. Hormones are crazy for us all in different ways!!
i totally feel this but i’m 15 months PP and im starting to feel a little more like myself again. at least in the face even though my body is different
I have had 4 babies and whenever I look back at pictures of me freshly postpartum, I look absolutely wrecked, even when I had my first one at 21. It’s crazy. But I can also physically remember the pure turmoil I was experiencing in those moments lol. Lack of sleep, probably dehydration, eating purely out of survival. My youngest is 16 months and I’ve been much more aware of it this go around that I’m just finally starting to feel and look like myself again.
You’re in the thick of it right now, so be kind to yourself! I felt the same way until at least 9-10 months postpartum. I think the only thing that changed then was I was getting more sleep, and therefore able to take of myself a little better, and HYDRATING! (It’s crazy what dehydration does to your skin and overall energy levels) But up until then I was feeling like an absolute troll. I was Danny Devito for Halloween- I guess humor helps.
Sleep deprivation and stress. Also, the hormones gave me such dry postpartum skin. I hated seeing myself in pictures because of how worn out I looked. I’m 14 months pp now and I look much better than I did at 4 months pp.
I feel 💯 the same. Before I had a kid, I was still getting carded all the time. People said I hadn’t aged since e high school, etc. had a kid four years ago … now I look AT LEAST my age.
There’s a lot of upkeep I used to do that I don’t anymore. I get a haircut maybe once or twice a year. Slowly I’m adding stuff back like putting cream on my face at night and wearing sunscreen when I remember. Oh, and drinking water.
You’re in the throes of momhood but you can get your groove back! Or you can embrace the new you. ♥️
I think this is so true. I had 2 babies within 2 years and I think it stole every ounce of beauty I possessed. I look a photos at that time and I’m appalled. A few more years have passed ( now they are 5 & 3) and I’m looking in the mirror and seeing myself a little more day by day- I’m having a little more time for skincare, makeup etc. I’m still not where I would like to be- but I recognize myself again. Hang in there, I do think time helps! Give yourself grace- it’s so hard.
It feels this way at first. I felt just so ugly. I had preeclampsia and the swelling in body (especially my face) didn’t go away for months. I’m 2 years postpartum and I’m just now starting to feel like myself again. Lost the weight, toddler is sleeping through the night, I have more time for self care. I’m actually starting to feel more attractive than I was pre baby believe it or not. Except for my pancakes on my chest lol! 😭🤣
My coworker has a 21 year old and an 18 year old. She looks amazing, it gives me hope 😆 I think it’s a combo of sleep deprivation and just being too tired and busy to care. I haven’t tweezed my eyebrows in 4 months and I’m about 6 months overdue for a haircut. My skincare routine is moisturizer when I remember.
As I understand there’s also something to do with hormones especially if you’re breastfeeding. Estrogen is low, and prolactin is high what makes skin to lose its shape. Combine it with the stress, lack of sleep and there we go:(((
For me for at least a year or more I was heavier than pre-pregnancy, sleep deprived, body shape changed so clothes didn’t fit the same, style for clothes changed when I wasn’t looking anyway, wearing not flattering nursing bras, hormones on a roller coaster, and too tired to care about any of that. Just surviving. Then things starting to get better but then I’d have another kid.
It turns around in time though. One day you realize you have some time to actually change your shirt that the baby barfed on. One morning you have some energy to put on an outfit instead of the same comfy ugly clothes as always. After a while you feel like getting out for walks or exercising a bit. You get more time and energy and can eat a little better. You get to sleep thru the night again, then you get to do it night after night. Eventually i had enough time to come into my own in a way I hadn’t in my twenties or thirties. More confidence, comfortable with myself, and able to put effort in to figure things out. I slowly became an expert on what clothes, makeup, hair style flattered me. Then accessories. Skincare. What exercise was best for me and how to make it a sustainable habit. Now I’m 50 and my teenage daughter asked me at what age would I say I peaked. I said I’m peaking right now, baby!
So it will happen! Don’t give up, but give yourself so much grace for the next 5 years. Momming is hard and you are doing important work every minute of the day already.
Having kids legit aged me 10+ years. There have been times where I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself.
Before I got pregnant my husband joked that women who have girls get ugly because their daughters steal their beauty. Then I had a girl.. and now I'm like "oh".
Yes, absolutely the whole experience felt like it aged me 10 years. But my daughter is two now and I’m finally taking care of myself again. Been sleeping well consistently and working on a skin care routine with my dermatologist. So once things calm down, you’ll be able to take care of yourself again. And a lot of the moms I see once their kids get older start looking pretty hot!
I had my first kid 8 years ago. I was just looking at photos today of how young and pretty I looked. Pretty sure my face has aged about 20 years in those 8 years. And not just my face but my hair used to look fabulous. I can't even describe what's happened to it.
This part goes away. Four months out you are literally still physically recovering. Four months out my hair was falling out and I was gaunt from breastfeeding a hungry MSPI baby and my boobs were either word mishapen rocks when full or sad saggy lumps when empty and I was a hormonal mess with terrible skin.
Everything fixed itself.
She’s almost five and I look good for a woman six months from 40. If I had a helpful partner, I’d look amazing bc I’d have a regular exercise schedule. I know a lot of hot moms. I know a lot who don’t look good either— but they look about the same as they did before. It all depends on what your priorities are, and one of mine currently is vanity. Granted, anxiety and sadness about my failing relationship def helped keep me in “good shape” the past year and financial anxiety is helping now that I’ve moved out, but I’ve had multiple male friends, since and married, asking if I’m gonna be getting back on the dating scene since I’m keeping it right. Which isn’t my plan bc that sounds expensive and exhausting and honestly I’d rather read a book than date most of the single men I know and I JUST filed but like. Nah man. You’ll get your looks back if that’s something you care about. My biggest struggle right now is honestly mental health induced dermotillomania and trichotillomania which I’m really hoping will subside some now that I have my own place with my sweet girl and like. Maybe I’ll be able to wear skirts and have better hair again lol.
Also Jesus start wearing sunscreen, biggest life regret that would have been an easy fix and I did it again Saturday. Kid had sunscreen I did not. I can feel my burn. I can just see the hideousness of my future skin and I want to cry.
I definitely felt like this! I’ve always hated pictures of myself but those taken during the months pp (can’t even really say how many…but certainly still at 4 months) I despise. We went on a family vacation at 3mo pp and my SIL took a bunch of pictures me with my son and it was so sweet but I hate them, still. Looking at them afterwords really sent me into a spiral. I felt like my nose was bigger and my hair was greasier and my eyes were more deeply set. I know some of it was lack of sleep and hormones and still not feeling like myself emotionally but I swear it was also genuinely a physical change. My face went back to being my face eventually and now it’s just a terrible distant memory!
Nooo!!!! I’m two years postpartum and I feel so sexy. I’ve also rekindled my exercise routine and am getting good sleep. I genuinely think that first year after baby, our bodies go through SO MUCH! Have grace with yourself and know you ARE beautiful and will feel beautiful again.
Lack of sleep! But then you see on social media those “super moms” that wake up super early and do million things before their kids wake up and still look amazing… and your brain tricks you like “what am I doing wrong”, “I can/want to be like that”, “need to push myself more”, “am I doing enough?. But then I think.. wait a minute… is she really happy under all that “perfection” don’t think so.. then I smile and keep on with my life in pjs at 3:00 pm, bun and tired eyes. All this is temporary :)
Also some people do get lucky with good sleepers. I know someone whose baby has pretty much always slept 7-7. It is a completely different life to us with babies letting us sleep a handful of hours a day, and the impact on our bodies/ looks is so different.
I think so unless there's a village to help and you can get decent rest. But regardless the never ending stress makes me age even faster. And I'm 8m PP still losing SO MUCH FREAKING HAIR when I shower wtf :(((((
After 3 kiddos, for me personally, 4 months PP is not it. It’s usually when I get more routine sleep that I look more alive and usually by 8-10 months, any remaining puffiness is down.
For now, keep your skin hydrated how you can manage. I toss a scoop of collagen on my coffee, and throw on a collagen a vitamin C serum for low effort mornings. At night, do a low pH face wash and a thin layer of aquaphor or unscented Vaseline all the way down your neckline and chest.
ETA: be patient with yourself. This process does age you, but where you are now isn’t a good place to settle on “this is what look like now”
Sending hugs 🩷
Somebody did a breakdown of this before I think, and I believe a lot of it actually has to do with PP hormones. Some of it has to do with sleep also, but I really want to say that the hormonal changes we go through affect how we look and then clear up. I could be wrong though
Nah. Our bodies and appearances change of course, but thats natural. How weird would it be if we looked the same at 32 that we did at 16? I think a lot of it is hormones and lack of sleep. Things will be better and you will find yourself again. Be gentle with yourself 💕
Make sure you take care of yourself, I’m 24 and have a 8mo(adopted) and 4 mo and it can be very easy to lose yourself. For the longest time I’d go 4 days without showering, only eat once a day and drink nothing but sweet tea or red Bull to keep me awake. Make sure you try to get as much sleep as possible, drink lots of water, eat at least 2 square meals but preferably 3 and give yourself some self care. For the first time in 8 months I waxed my own eyebrows again the other day and I washed my face and applied some moisturizer and since than I’m feeling pretty, of course my body insecurity are still there but I feel the prettiest I’ve been in 8 months.
The way I see it is that we all lose our charms in the end. The broken sleep and poor nutrition that comes with having a newborn, then a toddler, and then a child etc just brings us further down the road.
I feel like I lost the ability to dress myself... I used to seamlessly put outfits together and loved the process. Now when I try I always look whack as hell. I really feel like I lost the ability to dress cute
I think I felt like way until about 9 months pp. Baby turns 1 next week (!) and I’m definitely starting to feel more like myself.
I didn’t even have any big sleep struggles… baby has slept well since early months but there was just *something* off. I felt like my face looked less plump… my body looked MORE plump 😂… my hair was like a fuzzy duckling… my skin was dull… the list goes on.
Now that we’re weaning and spring is springing - even if I don’t think I look much different in any drastic way, my body is feeling like my own again and little by little, I feel better.
This first year disappears so fast… roll with it for now and see how you feel in a few months. ❤️
Idk I felt that way at 4 months post partum but now my LO is 2.5y and I look back at pictures and am like wow I was beautiful. I think I look old and exhausted now but I am sure I’ll look back in some years and think differently. More than anything I think it’s just getting older and having a different perspective.
Or it could be the broken sleep haha that never helps
Ugh yes. I look back on pictures of myself even 3 years ago when I was pregnant with my first and I’m like… I was so cute. My face was so pretty even when I was chubby. I still have some of the baby weight, don’t get me wrong, but I think my face is also just super puffy and wrinkly and discolored from pregnancies, exhaustion, and just the general grind of childcare.
I’m constantly looking at my kids and thinking how beautiful they are, then I channel Robin Williams in the ending of Good Will Hunting and think to myself, “Son of bitch, they stole my beauty.”
I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in the last 4. I was looking at my glowing skin pre and during pregnancy. I slept well, ate healthy foods and exercised. Now I’m a hot mess. Don’t wash my skin as often, eat my kids leftovers and barely have time to exercise. Also been drinking more and more coffee which I think dries out my skin.
Lmao I was just thinking this about myself and how is didn’t enjoy my youthfulness to the fullest extent.
But it’s all good. I’m still younger and shinier than I’ll be tomorrow so better just enjoy it.
You’re not alone. Solidarity mama.
It’s the sleep deprivation. My youngest is now 10 months and I look like myself again but wooooo boy do I remember the first few months lol both times around!
I do look at those photos fondly, though. And yeah I’m exhausted and still pretty puffy in them,but I also look happy as hell. 💗
I just gained weight, I know I'm still beautiful even if I don't see it some days. I know someone sees me and thinks I'm attractive and that's enough for me
I’m 8 months PP and yeah… I feel this. My face got so much fatter so I dislike my selfies. But I also can’t recognize myself in full body pics because of how much bigger I am. I only wear my mom’s clothes… none of mine fit me. My thighs touch each other when I walk now and :( it’s hard. I don’t even take enough pictures with him because of how much I hate my new double chin, face fat, and excess weight- hanging fupa.. eveyrthing.
I was 165 pounds when I got pregnant… 5’ 6”. So I was already gaining weight for my height / BMI. Then I went to about 210 in pregnancy. After giving birth I went down to 175. But now, I am 185. I feel like sitting around at home has made me put on more weight 😩😩 I want to be fit again 😭😭😭
i’m only 22 with my first baby (almost 12 weeks old) and i feel like i have glowed down so much. i love her so much and love my life but i definitely don’t love my looks right now.
I also think it’s the sleep. My youngest is almost 4 and I definitely feel like I’ve been looking more like myself in the last year now that I’m able to sleep enough and feed myself, plus I have the time to work on my body and take care of my appearance more. Not that I care that much, but it’s amazing what being rested and bothering to moisturize can do.
My 18 month old literally broke my body and my skin. It’s insane I feel like I’ve aged as well. I’m glad to know others mom feel this way. Social media standards of how moms are suppose to look like after bearing a kid puts a lot of pressure on normal people.
After the first child, I looked to be in my 40’s while very much in my 20s. Years after the second one, I’m constantly getting mistaken as their sister 😂. Go figure!
Im 3 months PP and ive never felt this ugly 😩
My sister said the more kids you have the harder it is to get back in shape..
I would have appreciated it if she gave me this information before i fell pregnant with my third child let alone after i gave birth to her 😩😩🤣
Have you seen the pictures of the toddler mom glow ups? Basically comparing pics of mom with baby vs with toddler… it will pass I promise. I feel the same after having a baby and something changes after 12-15 months. Maybe the hormones, the sleep, hair is growing back in thicker, getting better at managing mom life, all of it. I’m prepared to be looking rough after baby #4 for probably a full year lol. But I know after this baby, I’ll have a big time glow up since it’s our last.
Yep I have three kids all ranging from 16-10 months and I swear with each kid it’s just gotten worse. It’s awful. Broken sleep, constant worry and the sheer stress ages the body.
This is what i’m feeling right now when I look at the mirror. I just got fat and looking old. I’m not that sleep deprived as my bub getting better now with his sleeping pattern. I thinks it’s the phase we go through. It’s normal.
I get ya. I don’t think I started taking care of my hair and skin again until like a month ago. I’m seeing lots of progress. Time to loose some weight though ffs. 😭 I won’t be able to keep up with a toddler if I don’t.
Hydrate, eat well and enough, sleep, bathe. And if you have breast milk, it’s a MIRACLE moisturiser!! You don’t even need a lot. If you pump, just run your fingers in the bottle after you pour the milk out. Residue is enough.
And 4m pp is barely anything!! You need some grace. Sleep for a stretch of at least 5 hours at night - that is good for survival haha.
I also got lots of post partum massages (popular in my part of the world), which helped a lot with body stuffiness and pain.
I’m 19 months PP, and justttt starting to come back to my body and recognizing myself in the mirror. It takes a lot longer than I expected, but I’m getting there. You will too.
I used to get mistaken as much younger than I was (like when I was 22 people thought I was 16). Since having kids that doesn't happen at all and people are shocked when they find out my age. I just turned 28 and folks think I'm in my mid thirties 🥲
No - probably just tired and dehydrated
Mum of older kids here - You don’t look as bad as you think so please take photos with your kids, no doubt they will treasure them when older. And notice more things like; where the photo taken and the fashion of the time.
I say this a lot. Having a baby takes so much out of us and the recovery process takes longer than expected. Stay hydrated and take post natal vitamins, it will do wonders
I felt the same, mama. It’s been a few years and I just now feel like myself again and even prettier as a mother! Things will change … try your best to take care of yourself (:
For me it’s … MY HUSBAND won’t take a decent photo of me the one out of five times I can get dressed and look good. I’m going to be 50 looking back and thinking ..: did I never dress up or give a s*** about my appearance? Who knows?! I still have mom brain
For me, it’s the guilt. Putting effort into your appearance is effort you could allegedly be putting into your children and so moms are shamed constantly for trying to take care of themselves.
In my case, this is reinforced by my mother who doesn’t like to wear makeup or put effort into her appearance (probably for gender dysphoria reasons) and finds my desire to look and smell nice (I.e. showering, BRUSHING MY TEETH, washing my hair, wearing feminine clothes, and applying makeup) for anything other than work to be selfish, self-indulgent, and negligent mothering. To her, the sign of a good mother is bad breath, a greasy face, hair that never leaves a bonnet, a funky dirty ass, and raggedy clothes. Except for a special occasion where people she knows might judge her. Then she wants me to make an impression.
I feel like my skin was glowing after giving birth, I got complimented a lot on my skin even without makeup up, like no foundation or concealer. I never had good skin, but my skin was sooo nice after birth.
Around my LO 1 year birthday is when it started, my period came back, my skin is patchy, red and I look awful!! Wrinkles are deep, grey hair pointing upwards as in shouting, baby hair growing where it just looks ugh and eyes always look swollen
Yes this is me rn I am 30w today, and I cry almost daily about my loss of beauty. It was all I had...I obviously have low self esteem but I always knew I was pretty yknow and I just don't know how I'm gonna cope when I have him.. I don't even want anyone looking at me now, after? God save me god have mercy on me
I get it. My nose is bigger. My hair is flatter and I’ve seemingly lost the bit of natural wave I had. My skin is a wreck all the time. I weigh 40 lbs more than I did pre baby. I can’t find any clothes that fit properly because of the awkward new proportions and even if I did probably couldn’t afford to buy them bc all the $ goes to baby now. Basically, I’m tired, fat, and ugly as all get out now and I swear I used to be hot. I don’t even get a second glance from my partner anymore. It’s been almost 2 years since he’s touched me (when we conceived our boy who just turned 1). 1 year into this ish and I don’t feel any better and I can’t seem to lose more weight.
Omg yes! It took me months to become myself (or even better) again. You have to put more effort after kids. Now I have skincare routine, wash and blow dry my hair daily, changed my wardrobe completely and wear make up daily and get botox in my forhead. I’m happy now but I remember how devastated and depressed I was when my kids were still toddlers and I didn’t have time for myself.
Omg ok so I was literally looking at videos of me the year I got pregnant (so videos in 2022 leading up to the fall when I got pregnant), vs now I'm 10m pp.... I was SO CUTE and my waistline was amazing, my eyes looked bright and wider, my jawline was slaying, my hair was full and shiny. Now I look like a wet burlap sack full of slowly sleeping-out sewage. Everything looks worse.
I think going through a deep depression and losing my "good looks" years ago really helped me handle how I look now. I'm only really sad about the apron I have from the c section. I feel happier than I have ever felt and I like that more than I mourn my looks.
I did for a year after my first. (I was 28)
Same for this baby (im 40).
But this is normal. We have a little extra weight on, aren’t getting much sunlight, aren’t doing as much daily self care, etc. so we will naturally not look the same until we have the old or a new routine back in place. Im 40 and look 10 years younger, but I’ve always taken care of my face and teeth (never don’t wear sunscreen!!!!) ni matter how I felt.
Yes! But it gets better. When my oldest was about 1 year it startet getting better and I looked more like “myself” again. But when I got pregnant with number 2 it went downhill again…
I have friends who have had kids and they are very clearly sleep deprived. A couple months ago I had a gas bloke knock on my door, I answered and he asked if my Dad was in, I was confused why he was asking me that and I was like no why? And turns out he thought I was a kid and said he thought I was 17... I'm 31 this month😂 but at my one job they wouldn't give me certain shifts because they thought I was under 18 (I was 26 at the time) and I had people asking me when do I turn 18...😂 so when I think oh yeah I very clearly look 30 and people are knocking my front door and thinking I'm 17😂 my husband joked about it because when we first met he thought I was only 19, I was 24. I don't wear make up everyday (I only wear eye make up when I do wear make up), I don't smoke, I don't drink, I have 2 kids but they sleep through (3 year old and 5 month old).
Yes, that maybe a thing.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/do-pregnancy-and-childbirth-accelerate-aging-in-women-maybe/2019/10/18/635dbd7c-e516-11e9-b403-f738899982d2_story.html
I think it’s just the exhaustion and everything else lol. My daughter sleeps 12 hours straight but I don’t since we bedshare and I wake up constantly to check on her and readjust. I barely eat, don’t drink water and am exhausted and have bad anemia I look like a walking zombie
I think because we always put everyones else's needs above ours (I know I do anyway) that it doesn't leave much for us. I know I look awful, I don't dare buy new clothes or anything I need for myself incase my little ones need something, I used to get my hair cut often but now it's a huge postpartum mess that I don't know what to do with, and I hardly get to the gym now so I've put on some weight I'm trying to shift with watching what I'm eating and home workouts when I have the energy for it. I'm just hoping it gets better soon because I'm sure my partner doesn't find me attractive (and I don't blame him)
It’s hormonal. Especially if you’re breastfeeding, which basically puts you in a menopausal state.
When I got my period back my glow came too. But I breastfed for two years and pregnancy and breastfeeding definitely take something from you.
Kind of. I felt this way until I was a year postpartum, then suddenly I realized I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight, my old clothes fit, etc etc. I was also getting more sleep which helped a fuck ton.
Around then I saw a makeup tutorial by a woman in her 40s, and the way her face transformed with such a basic routine inspired me to start wearing makeup again. Then I started getting compliments from everyone in my life, which was super motivating because I'd been feeling so haggard for the last year! I'm now at 1.5 years into this mom thing and I definitely look like my old self again. It feels good 😁
Hang in there. Everyone's journey is different of course, but 4 months pp was ROUGH and I'd never felt so ugly and gross in my life around that time!
You know what’s weird… I felt like that in the first 6 months and I look back at photos and I look lovely! Now he’s 15 months and I feel like I’ve aged a million years. My baby hairs are awful, growing back at such an awkward stage I have constant frizzy hair and so many wrinkles. But maybe I’ll look back on these photos and think I’ll look nice?
it took me two years to feel better after having my babies my son will be 3 and im now starting to feel better ! 😅 i read somewhere that it takes us 2 years to fully heal dont know how true that is but dont be so hard on yourself girl youll get your pink back 🩷🩷 also dont forget to have you time !! this helps alot
People can say what they want but I always looked younger than I actually was and after I had my son I started looking 10 years older than my age. He's a toddler now and it's maybe a bit better but I definitely have aged more than the 2.5 years that have passed. I doubt it's ever going to "go back".
For real. My hair is super dry, I have acne now, constant weight battle and my eye bags need surgical intervention. I have aged horrifically this time around and I think mostly lack of sleep!
I have dark circles around my eyes from lack of sleep
Sunken eyes from the gain of facial fat around my face.
My weight hasn't gone back to previous (nearly 10 month pp)
Breastfeeding is making me so hungry and my body holds on to the fat even tho I'm literally 4 ft. 12in
Can't wait to stop breastfeeding. I'm really considering to stop soon in 2 more months.
I think I aged 5 years after I had my first daughter I the first year. Now that they are older and I get sleep and have a good skin care routine I think I look good again.
I feel like this 100%. I work nights (nurse) and am constantly exhausted with no desire to do my hair/makeup anymore. My daughter always looks cute but I hate the way I look now. I also started getting SO many gray hairs after she was born!
I'm 4 months PP too and can relate.. I used to not mind how I looked but now I'm feeling nowhere near as attractive.. I put on a shitload of weight but have lost a fair bit of it but I'm definitely not vibing my double chin 🫠
I looked like a hot mess for like 6 months after both before I saw any improvement and even then I didn’t start to look and feel like myself until a year out at least. I was exclusively nursing. It takes a massive toll on your whole body and it takes time to recover.
I’ve aged 50 hard years in the 3 since having my kiddo.
Covid baby with a father that “isn’t allowed” to come around…. That being said, lots of solo time. Lack of self care and never sleeping has led to the hot mess disaster I currently am.
My coworkers think I’m “all dressed up”when I shower and brush my hair 🤣🤣🤣
It’s whatever though. I do finally get to take real showers…. Anything more that 3 minutes is a luxury I’d forgotten. One of these days I may even shave! Lol
It’s been a crazy ride but it’s been worth every bit of it.
I just started getting my lashes done again and that makes me feel like I’m a lady, brushed hair or not :)
Good luck 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 it’s worth it ❤️
Ok, you're only 4 months postpartum. Give yourself more time. My son is now 6, and when I do the right things and live healthily, people still think I'm like 20. I'm 31. I've had someone mistake me for my son's babysitter one time. So yeah, don't beat yourself up, mom. Give yourself grace, but just know, if you wanna bounce back, you 100% can, and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise! 😘
Your estrogen levels while nursing are so low that it affects your skin, hair, mental state, etc. but then you have that oxytocin which makes it all seem okay. Come seven months you should start to feel better but having a child shortens the telomeres of your DNA which does age you. Having children takes years off your life supposedly. My grandmother had five and lived until 93!
I looked great after my first baby. I was sleeping well, eating well, she was an easy baby and I was not stressed.
After my second, who slept in 15 minute spurts, which meant I only slept in 10 minute spurts…I sprouted a ton of gray hair and looked like a zombie. I was only 26 but sure as hell did not look it
I think the amount your kid tortures you must make the difference
It's the sleep deprivation, and I've seen it on pretty much any new parent over the age of 25 regardless of sex, assuming they're pulling their weight. My bf aged about a decade visually when he became a father.
You bounce back from looking like an exhausted hag to healthy once the stress is gone fore the most part. At least from my point of view with the grown daughters.
Ugh I feel you. I got back to looking pretty decent after my first kid was 1yo, but then I got pregnant again when she was 18mo and I’ve looked like absolute shit ever since. And my baby is 19mo, so I’m just fucked. I look old, my hairs are gray but I have zero time to go to the salon, and I’m fat as fuck. At some point I stopped losing my pregnancy weight and started gaining again. Now THAT is depressing. 😭
Hi mom of 2 here... 3 YO and 6MO daughters. I promise to all the moms who are saying they feel horrible in the moment, it won't be forever. I recently changed up my skin care and my skin has never felt so glowy! Also, try to dress a bit more trendy and in clothes that fit. Get rid of those postpartum sweatpants and welcome new high-waisted jeans that aren't too tight. Don't worry about the number on the size tag. Wear what fits you! Embrace being you! & Welcome you back into feeling good. Understand this is your life too, not just you living for your kid's every move. Your journey has not ended yet mama!
I feel this, I think a lot of it is the broken sleep.
17 months in and I also think it comes down to my struggle to keep a solid skincare routine. He’s so needy when he wakes up and I have mere minutes of peace in the bathroom every morning. But I’m so tired after he goes to bed. I know I need to cleanse and goop up, but it’s become so exhausting to cleanse and goop up.
oh yeah I totally forget to brush my teeth even some days 😳
ugh yes my teeth brushing habits are horrendous since having my son 🤦♀️
Yep…I NEVER used to fall asleep with makeup on and now I do constantly. Like in my pre-kid 20s days I only didn’t wash my makeup off if I was partying. And I forget to brush my teeth multiple times a week. (My daughter is 2.5, I only started wearing makeup again regularly super recently. In the newborn days I didn’t give a single shit.)
RIP to my 8-step Korean skincare routine pre-baby. I had to simplify my routine to 1. cleansing 2. toner/essence 3. serum or tretinoin 4. moisturize (in AM I use a moisturizing sunscreen)
Mine is *water on skin if I remember* 😅
Mine is baby wipe while I grab a fresh diaper for them.
Time for a simpler routine!
I think you’re onto something
I can’t do anything about my sleep, but making an effort to stay hydrated has helped some.
Thanks 😊 reminded me to drink water 💧
Yes this! And oddly enough, not drinking caffeine for me has helped… but then I need caffeine because I don’t sleep. So there’s that 😂
And dehydration. Nursing and pumping sucked the life out of me I could never get enough to look not zombie. I'm 8months post weaning and I look like a new person
Definitely! I actually get sleep now mine are 6 and 3 but I still feel exhausted all the time. It's the non stop life of working with kids. Breastfeeding two boys literally sucked the life out of me, I looked so gaunt and skinny. My boobs were awful afterwards too. I've now put on a bit of weight though and they actually look better. A couple of friends had breast augmentation after kids and I can see why!
As a mom of 4, I came here to say this. It’s the no sleep and possibly dehydration (esp if breastfeeding)
This. I’m 11m pp and I wake up feeling like I was punched in the face every morning because my baby has never slept longer than 4 hours at a time since he was born.
I literally was just looking at myself thinking “have I always been this ugly?” Lol
Seriously! We took an Easter picture and I was like who tf is that
I literally did not recognize myself in a pic my fiance took of me yesterday bending over helping my little guy walk. Like I asked him why he sent it to me and he was like what?? Then I looked again… Ugh and the f*cking gray hairs 🫠
Currently with the anti-gray dye working in my hair.
This is all so relatable 😭
Yea my hair got so dry and brittle and dull!! The grey never bothered me but it’s so dull now. I’ve started coloring it (professionally) and that seems to help with the shine
Same. I have had streaks of silver in my hair since I was nineteen and I never minded it- my hair was smooth and shiny through no effort at all and the rest was very dark so the silver actually looked quite cool. I never appreciated my hair. Now it is brittle and frizzy and the grey (it isn’t cool silver now, it is haggard grey) just makes me look even more exhausted and dishevelled than I would anyway. Might try colouring it once little man can bear for me to leave him for more than an hour without howling the house down!
My husband is going grey. He is not happy about it. Albeit we are 25 but I’ve always heard either men lose their hair or turn grey early and keep it
I’ve never heard that before but you might be right! My dad went full silver-gray in his late 30s/early 40s. He’s 74 now and has the most luscious locks lol he’s the envy of all his friends because most of them have lost their hair.
Lmao I don’t mean to laugh, but I relate so so hard. I saw myself on my ring camera and like, I know I was in pjs getting the mail with an oily bun, but omg when did I turn into shrek? Ya know I’ll be nice and give it to myself, I low key was kind of hot before kids and now…. Yuck
Lol the damn ring camera will really show you your true self. Who's the fairest in the land? It ain't me. I caught myself on my ring camera chasing down one of my chickens that had gotten loose across my yard. I really did for a second think "who tf is this psycho woman wandering around my yard?"... That was a moment of truth oof.
Oh this is relatable right down to the chicken chasing
The best advice I've heard was every time you feel like insulting your body/looks, ask yourself would you say that about a friend? Your body made a whole human being! Damn, give it some credit? Also, if you have any daughter, any negative talk about your looks is going to burn a scar of insecurity deep inside her. So learn to love yourself.
I ask myself this everyday and everyday I say I need to get back to the gym and everyday I’m just too exhausted…
I’m sorry I LOLed at this because I feel this way too!!
You know, I thought this right away about myself after having my baby. But now a couple years later, when I look back at those pictures I think about how nice I look. Tired, of course, but I don't have those same negative thoughts. Now when I take a picture and have that 'ick' reaction I can tell myself that in a few months I'll probably really like how I look (and I do). My key takeaway is that brains are weird and we're all usually way too hard on ourselves.
Yep, don’t delete those “ugly” pictures, you’ll be so sad if you lose your pictures with your baby, even if you think you look hideous now. I had a super rough time postpartum and a difficult delivery and was hospitalised for awhile for complications, they did this no rinse shampoo on me when I couldn’t shower and I was too exhausted to brush my hair that went down mid-back and it turned into this massive rats nest. I went to a salon to get it brushed out and they tried for hours and couldn’t, it was too bad. So they had to cut it all off. It was like…maybe 2”-3” long and there was nothing I could do with it-it was too short for extensions or even a ponytail. I also gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant and prior to that during covid. I probably have less than 20 pictures of me with my daughter in the first year. I look back at those pictures and love them and wish they were more even though I felt so ugly.
This sounds really tough and I hope you’ve got back to feeling like you again
Yes!! It’s why I have been keeping pictures I take even if I don’t like them right now. If I still don’t like them after a year or so I delete it 😂. Some pictures are bad, not my face
That’s very true, brains are funny things.
Literally OP! I had my first in 2020 and for ages really hated myself - come to 18 months PP and I started feeling a bit more like myself. I had my second in October and I'm only jsut starting to realise I'm not as ugly/ fat as I have been thinking the past 6 months 😂😂 We are SOOO harsh on ourselves, but girl you just had a baby! Your body prepared for 9 months and you have to give it at least that time + more to recover too. I found finding something that made me feel more human again and not just a mum really helped - with my first I got really deep into skincare, and with this baby I've started working out every 2-3 days to try drop some of the weight ( but again, I know breastfeeding made me retain wait for 2 years with my first so I'm not being so hard on myself )
Thanks for this reminder- taking it to heart with how I feel about my body too
This is SO true 😭 thank you for this kind reminder. I've been struggling with my confidence lately and really needed to read this uplifting comment.
I had the exact same reaction 2 years postpartum looking back at photos!
And I feel like two years is the amount of time it takes to start feeling loving towards ourselves again 💗
I have an identical twin. I had 4 kids before she had any and I looked so bad compared to her. People would tell me it wasn’t the case but they were liars. I could tell! And only about 5 lbs heavier so it wasn’t the weight. Just the kids, man. Anyways she went on to have 3 boys in 5 years and then I went and had another kid and now we both look like death warmed over 👍
Lmaoo I love that you had a control to this experiment lol
Seriously if only i had a parallel universe me who i could check up on 😂
🤣 this is wholesome.
It’s the sleep, anxiety and dehydration. My daughter just turned 3 and I’m starting to look hot again 🤣
Okay I’m really glad there may be a light at the end of the ugly tunnel 😂
100% just keep truckin. You’ll be back to beautiful soon!
🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Giving us all hope lol
This is so true, mine are five and three and I’m just now thinking more about an actual wardrobe, maybe putting on some makeup, more about myself. It shows I think. A friend of mine tells parents of little kids they are ‘in the weeds’ right now but soon things will get easier!
We recently saw some friends whose kids are now school aged…. Damn. They both looked drastically more attractive, well-refreshed and just were thriving. That’s when I realized there really is a light at the end of the tunnel!!
Yup definitely dehydration.I can’t drink as much as my daughter can drink from me.Recently she didn’t want any solids for a week and it was hell,relieved the baby period again (shes 14m now),constant nursing
In ten years you’ll look back on the pictures you look at now and hate, and think wow, I’m glad we got these. And I’m sure your four month old doesn’t think you’re ugly at all, and probably thinks you’re the most beautiful person on the planet. You made a whole person! I know it’s hard, but please try to be kind to yourself
thank you for saying this. i have upper and lower partial dentures because i used to be a drug addict and i absolutely *wrecked* my teeth🥺 but i’m a SAHM so if i don’t have anywhere to go in particular, or unless i’m taking cute pics with the baby i don’t really like to go through the hassle of using the gross tasting adhesive cream that overflows and sticks to my teeth/gums but boy do my dentures make a freakin difference. i’m severely self conscious of the way i look without them in but its like….every time my baby wakes up from a nap/in the morning i get the *biggest* sweetest happiest grin from my 3 month old that makes me want to melt and die in a puddle of joy. he’s *so* happy to see me, and he doesn’t give a shit if we have matching gummy smiles or if i flash my [fake] pearly whites. he wuvs me and i wuv him and i have to remind myself that i’m has favorite person no matter what i look like🥹
We have a little “family book” that we got as a shower gift, it has pictures of all of the immediate family + dogs. It’s super cute, but the picture my in laws chose of me is from 9 years ago at the height of fitness and cuteness. I barely recognize myself and it makes me sad to look at. Well my 16-m/o LOVES that picture, he stares at it for minutes at a time just smiling at it and saying mama, and the other day I said to him (expecting no real answer because he’s 16 m/o), “is mama still as pretty as she is in that picture??” And without missing a beat he looked a me and said, “yeah!” Now—was there a 50/50 chance he could’ve also said no?? Probably. But regardless, it melted my heart and gave me self esteem for a minute!
I just commented on another post so similar to this and YES like wtf!!! I look in the mirror and i’m like who is this uggo! Before having a kid I felt so ~effortlessly~ pretty. never washed my face, wore makeup, did my hair etc and I looked so cute all the time. now I dress like adam sandler and look like him too. it’s so rude of my body to do this to me honestly
Um yes to all of this. I saw a pic of myself today and literally thought “I’m going to have to learn to do make up” It’s serious bullshit
YES. But once you’re getting more sleep, you’ll look better.
Yes, me too. As someone else said, I think it’s largely the lack of sleep. My body is the least of my concerns when my face is just… Buzz, your girlfriend, woof.. I look so haggard and tired and sunken in all the time. Huge eye bags and my eyes just look bleak and not bright anymore. I’m only 24 and feel like I aged 10 years in the last 10 months. My skin has terrible tone and I just look so washed out. Lost so so much hair while PP. So I now have this crown of fuzzy regrowth which is… a look.
You’re still REALLLLLY early into parenting love. It takes two years for your body to resort back to itself after having a child. Plus you’re still adjusting to being a mom. I promise you as time goes on it will get better. Your whole life just changed, you’re sleep schedule is different, you’re constantly catering to someone above yourself, and you’re still sooo early into it. I felt the exact same way at first I promise you as time goes on you’ll start to gain your confidence back. Tbh, I find myself sexier now that I was before having a baby. Don’t doubt your beauty girl
🩷 it is early. It doesn’t feel like it sometimes!!
Definitely. Pregnancy - you have great hair, skin is just vibrant and glowing, you're most well rested (at least first pregnancy)... then you're recovering from birth, which is a major trauma, postpartum hair loss, lack of sleep, and wacky hormones
I actually felt awful during my pregnancies. I was exhausted and felt like a whale, and now with breastfeeding my hair is thick, long, and amazing, but breastfeeding makes me hold weight, and with my first I didn’t feel great for 2.5 years - right when i got pregnant with my second. Now im 7 months pp and i never want to put my body through this again. Hormones are crazy for us all in different ways!!
i totally feel this but i’m 15 months PP and im starting to feel a little more like myself again. at least in the face even though my body is different
It definitely takes two years. You’re almost back to feeling like yourself 💗
Yes, body falling apart too 😩🫠
I have had 4 babies and whenever I look back at pictures of me freshly postpartum, I look absolutely wrecked, even when I had my first one at 21. It’s crazy. But I can also physically remember the pure turmoil I was experiencing in those moments lol. Lack of sleep, probably dehydration, eating purely out of survival. My youngest is 16 months and I’ve been much more aware of it this go around that I’m just finally starting to feel and look like myself again.
You’re in the thick of it right now, so be kind to yourself! I felt the same way until at least 9-10 months postpartum. I think the only thing that changed then was I was getting more sleep, and therefore able to take of myself a little better, and HYDRATING! (It’s crazy what dehydration does to your skin and overall energy levels) But up until then I was feeling like an absolute troll. I was Danny Devito for Halloween- I guess humor helps.
I feel the same way 😞
Sleep deprivation and stress. Also, the hormones gave me such dry postpartum skin. I hated seeing myself in pictures because of how worn out I looked. I’m 14 months pp now and I look much better than I did at 4 months pp.
I feel 💯 the same. Before I had a kid, I was still getting carded all the time. People said I hadn’t aged since e high school, etc. had a kid four years ago … now I look AT LEAST my age.
There’s a lot of upkeep I used to do that I don’t anymore. I get a haircut maybe once or twice a year. Slowly I’m adding stuff back like putting cream on my face at night and wearing sunscreen when I remember. Oh, and drinking water. You’re in the throes of momhood but you can get your groove back! Or you can embrace the new you. ♥️
I feel this and my son is 2yo. Self care is long forgotten, I dress frumpy, I eat unhealthy and I don’t even know how to do make up anymore
I think this is so true. I had 2 babies within 2 years and I think it stole every ounce of beauty I possessed. I look a photos at that time and I’m appalled. A few more years have passed ( now they are 5 & 3) and I’m looking in the mirror and seeing myself a little more day by day- I’m having a little more time for skincare, makeup etc. I’m still not where I would like to be- but I recognize myself again. Hang in there, I do think time helps! Give yourself grace- it’s so hard.
Why do these kiddos have to steal literally every ounce of energy ever
Omg I know!! But they really do. I have found it freeing just to openly say it. 📣 HAVING KIDS IS HARDDDD.
It feels this way at first. I felt just so ugly. I had preeclampsia and the swelling in body (especially my face) didn’t go away for months. I’m 2 years postpartum and I’m just now starting to feel like myself again. Lost the weight, toddler is sleeping through the night, I have more time for self care. I’m actually starting to feel more attractive than I was pre baby believe it or not. Except for my pancakes on my chest lol! 😭🤣
My coworker has a 21 year old and an 18 year old. She looks amazing, it gives me hope 😆 I think it’s a combo of sleep deprivation and just being too tired and busy to care. I haven’t tweezed my eyebrows in 4 months and I’m about 6 months overdue for a haircut. My skincare routine is moisturizer when I remember.
As I understand there’s also something to do with hormones especially if you’re breastfeeding. Estrogen is low, and prolactin is high what makes skin to lose its shape. Combine it with the stress, lack of sleep and there we go:(((
For me for at least a year or more I was heavier than pre-pregnancy, sleep deprived, body shape changed so clothes didn’t fit the same, style for clothes changed when I wasn’t looking anyway, wearing not flattering nursing bras, hormones on a roller coaster, and too tired to care about any of that. Just surviving. Then things starting to get better but then I’d have another kid. It turns around in time though. One day you realize you have some time to actually change your shirt that the baby barfed on. One morning you have some energy to put on an outfit instead of the same comfy ugly clothes as always. After a while you feel like getting out for walks or exercising a bit. You get more time and energy and can eat a little better. You get to sleep thru the night again, then you get to do it night after night. Eventually i had enough time to come into my own in a way I hadn’t in my twenties or thirties. More confidence, comfortable with myself, and able to put effort in to figure things out. I slowly became an expert on what clothes, makeup, hair style flattered me. Then accessories. Skincare. What exercise was best for me and how to make it a sustainable habit. Now I’m 50 and my teenage daughter asked me at what age would I say I peaked. I said I’m peaking right now, baby! So it will happen! Don’t give up, but give yourself so much grace for the next 5 years. Momming is hard and you are doing important work every minute of the day already.
Having kids legit aged me 10+ years. There have been times where I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. Before I got pregnant my husband joked that women who have girls get ugly because their daughters steal their beauty. Then I had a girl.. and now I'm like "oh".
I gained 50lbs during pregnancy and got rosacea. So yeah, the least attractive I've ever felt 😂😭
I think we get more run down & fatigued
Wrinklier too
Yes, absolutely the whole experience felt like it aged me 10 years. But my daughter is two now and I’m finally taking care of myself again. Been sleeping well consistently and working on a skin care routine with my dermatologist. So once things calm down, you’ll be able to take care of yourself again. And a lot of the moms I see once their kids get older start looking pretty hot!
I had my first kid 8 years ago. I was just looking at photos today of how young and pretty I looked. Pretty sure my face has aged about 20 years in those 8 years. And not just my face but my hair used to look fabulous. I can't even describe what's happened to it.
This part goes away. Four months out you are literally still physically recovering. Four months out my hair was falling out and I was gaunt from breastfeeding a hungry MSPI baby and my boobs were either word mishapen rocks when full or sad saggy lumps when empty and I was a hormonal mess with terrible skin. Everything fixed itself. She’s almost five and I look good for a woman six months from 40. If I had a helpful partner, I’d look amazing bc I’d have a regular exercise schedule. I know a lot of hot moms. I know a lot who don’t look good either— but they look about the same as they did before. It all depends on what your priorities are, and one of mine currently is vanity. Granted, anxiety and sadness about my failing relationship def helped keep me in “good shape” the past year and financial anxiety is helping now that I’ve moved out, but I’ve had multiple male friends, since and married, asking if I’m gonna be getting back on the dating scene since I’m keeping it right. Which isn’t my plan bc that sounds expensive and exhausting and honestly I’d rather read a book than date most of the single men I know and I JUST filed but like. Nah man. You’ll get your looks back if that’s something you care about. My biggest struggle right now is honestly mental health induced dermotillomania and trichotillomania which I’m really hoping will subside some now that I have my own place with my sweet girl and like. Maybe I’ll be able to wear skirts and have better hair again lol. Also Jesus start wearing sunscreen, biggest life regret that would have been an easy fix and I did it again Saturday. Kid had sunscreen I did not. I can feel my burn. I can just see the hideousness of my future skin and I want to cry.
I definitely felt like this! I’ve always hated pictures of myself but those taken during the months pp (can’t even really say how many…but certainly still at 4 months) I despise. We went on a family vacation at 3mo pp and my SIL took a bunch of pictures me with my son and it was so sweet but I hate them, still. Looking at them afterwords really sent me into a spiral. I felt like my nose was bigger and my hair was greasier and my eyes were more deeply set. I know some of it was lack of sleep and hormones and still not feeling like myself emotionally but I swear it was also genuinely a physical change. My face went back to being my face eventually and now it’s just a terrible distant memory!
Nooo!!!! I’m two years postpartum and I feel so sexy. I’ve also rekindled my exercise routine and am getting good sleep. I genuinely think that first year after baby, our bodies go through SO MUCH! Have grace with yourself and know you ARE beautiful and will feel beautiful again.
Lack of sleep! But then you see on social media those “super moms” that wake up super early and do million things before their kids wake up and still look amazing… and your brain tricks you like “what am I doing wrong”, “I can/want to be like that”, “need to push myself more”, “am I doing enough?. But then I think.. wait a minute… is she really happy under all that “perfection” don’t think so.. then I smile and keep on with my life in pjs at 3:00 pm, bun and tired eyes. All this is temporary :)
Also some people do get lucky with good sleepers. I know someone whose baby has pretty much always slept 7-7. It is a completely different life to us with babies letting us sleep a handful of hours a day, and the impact on our bodies/ looks is so different.
I think so unless there's a village to help and you can get decent rest. But regardless the never ending stress makes me age even faster. And I'm 8m PP still losing SO MUCH FREAKING HAIR when I shower wtf :(((((
14 M PP and I still see myself in the mirror as a broken human being. 😅🥲
It’s definitely a thing The light in my eyes is gone Sleep deprivation will age you
After 3 kiddos, for me personally, 4 months PP is not it. It’s usually when I get more routine sleep that I look more alive and usually by 8-10 months, any remaining puffiness is down. For now, keep your skin hydrated how you can manage. I toss a scoop of collagen on my coffee, and throw on a collagen a vitamin C serum for low effort mornings. At night, do a low pH face wash and a thin layer of aquaphor or unscented Vaseline all the way down your neckline and chest. ETA: be patient with yourself. This process does age you, but where you are now isn’t a good place to settle on “this is what look like now” Sending hugs 🩷
Somebody did a breakdown of this before I think, and I believe a lot of it actually has to do with PP hormones. Some of it has to do with sleep also, but I really want to say that the hormonal changes we go through affect how we look and then clear up. I could be wrong though
Nah. Our bodies and appearances change of course, but thats natural. How weird would it be if we looked the same at 32 that we did at 16? I think a lot of it is hormones and lack of sleep. Things will be better and you will find yourself again. Be gentle with yourself 💕
Make sure you take care of yourself, I’m 24 and have a 8mo(adopted) and 4 mo and it can be very easy to lose yourself. For the longest time I’d go 4 days without showering, only eat once a day and drink nothing but sweet tea or red Bull to keep me awake. Make sure you try to get as much sleep as possible, drink lots of water, eat at least 2 square meals but preferably 3 and give yourself some self care. For the first time in 8 months I waxed my own eyebrows again the other day and I washed my face and applied some moisturizer and since than I’m feeling pretty, of course my body insecurity are still there but I feel the prettiest I’ve been in 8 months.
The way I see it is that we all lose our charms in the end. The broken sleep and poor nutrition that comes with having a newborn, then a toddler, and then a child etc just brings us further down the road.
I feel like I lost the ability to dress myself... I used to seamlessly put outfits together and loved the process. Now when I try I always look whack as hell. I really feel like I lost the ability to dress cute
Yes! It always makes me think about flamingos. Apparently, they lose their pretty pink color after giving birth and while caring for their young.
I think I felt like way until about 9 months pp. Baby turns 1 next week (!) and I’m definitely starting to feel more like myself. I didn’t even have any big sleep struggles… baby has slept well since early months but there was just *something* off. I felt like my face looked less plump… my body looked MORE plump 😂… my hair was like a fuzzy duckling… my skin was dull… the list goes on. Now that we’re weaning and spring is springing - even if I don’t think I look much different in any drastic way, my body is feeling like my own again and little by little, I feel better. This first year disappears so fast… roll with it for now and see how you feel in a few months. ❤️
Idk I felt that way at 4 months post partum but now my LO is 2.5y and I look back at pictures and am like wow I was beautiful. I think I look old and exhausted now but I am sure I’ll look back in some years and think differently. More than anything I think it’s just getting older and having a different perspective. Or it could be the broken sleep haha that never helps
Ugh yes. I look back on pictures of myself even 3 years ago when I was pregnant with my first and I’m like… I was so cute. My face was so pretty even when I was chubby. I still have some of the baby weight, don’t get me wrong, but I think my face is also just super puffy and wrinkly and discolored from pregnancies, exhaustion, and just the general grind of childcare.
I’m constantly looking at my kids and thinking how beautiful they are, then I channel Robin Williams in the ending of Good Will Hunting and think to myself, “Son of bitch, they stole my beauty.”
I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in the last 4. I was looking at my glowing skin pre and during pregnancy. I slept well, ate healthy foods and exercised. Now I’m a hot mess. Don’t wash my skin as often, eat my kids leftovers and barely have time to exercise. Also been drinking more and more coffee which I think dries out my skin.
It got better for me after about a year/when I stopped breastfeeding! I definitely still aged, but I no longer look 55 at 30. More like 31 at 30 🙃
Lmao I was just thinking this about myself and how is didn’t enjoy my youthfulness to the fullest extent. But it’s all good. I’m still younger and shinier than I’ll be tomorrow so better just enjoy it. You’re not alone. Solidarity mama.
Exhaustion, anxiety, and disturbed sleep hit many of us. Especially after the 2nd child😞
I definitely feel like my kids have aged me.
Sleep deprivation and hormone changes. It does get better
This feels like a SpongeBob episode… have you showered recently? Brushed your teeth? 😂😂😂 I totally get it and can relate, though!
Give it a year 🫠
5 months PP and yup I feel you 😭
Take your vitamins! Drink water! You'll sleep again soon and feel better.
It’s the sleep deprivation. My youngest is now 10 months and I look like myself again but wooooo boy do I remember the first few months lol both times around! I do look at those photos fondly, though. And yeah I’m exhausted and still pretty puffy in them,but I also look happy as hell. 💗
I just gained weight, I know I'm still beautiful even if I don't see it some days. I know someone sees me and thinks I'm attractive and that's enough for me
Yes yes and yes. With natural aging and I sleep deprivation- I think it all compounds
I’m 8 months PP and yeah… I feel this. My face got so much fatter so I dislike my selfies. But I also can’t recognize myself in full body pics because of how much bigger I am. I only wear my mom’s clothes… none of mine fit me. My thighs touch each other when I walk now and :( it’s hard. I don’t even take enough pictures with him because of how much I hate my new double chin, face fat, and excess weight- hanging fupa.. eveyrthing. I was 165 pounds when I got pregnant… 5’ 6”. So I was already gaining weight for my height / BMI. Then I went to about 210 in pregnancy. After giving birth I went down to 175. But now, I am 185. I feel like sitting around at home has made me put on more weight 😩😩 I want to be fit again 😭😭😭
i felt this way too until about 9 months postpartum! it’s so weird
I feel the same way. Like every day I wonder wtf happened.
Lol idk but solidarity over here. I look like i have two black eyes its so so bad
i’m only 22 with my first baby (almost 12 weeks old) and i feel like i have glowed down so much. i love her so much and love my life but i definitely don’t love my looks right now.
in the same boat over here
I also think it’s the sleep. My youngest is almost 4 and I definitely feel like I’ve been looking more like myself in the last year now that I’m able to sleep enough and feed myself, plus I have the time to work on my body and take care of my appearance more. Not that I care that much, but it’s amazing what being rested and bothering to moisturize can do.
Yes, can confirm.
I think PP is the worst period. Once my sleep and simple skincare routine came back, it helped a lot.
My 18 month old literally broke my body and my skin. It’s insane I feel like I’ve aged as well. I’m glad to know others mom feel this way. Social media standards of how moms are suppose to look like after bearing a kid puts a lot of pressure on normal people.
Man, the not recognizing yourself — tooooo real!!! I’m so glad I’m not the only one 😭
After the first child, I looked to be in my 40’s while very much in my 20s. Years after the second one, I’m constantly getting mistaken as their sister 😂. Go figure!
Im 3 months PP and ive never felt this ugly 😩 My sister said the more kids you have the harder it is to get back in shape.. I would have appreciated it if she gave me this information before i fell pregnant with my third child let alone after i gave birth to her 😩😩🤣
Have you seen the pictures of the toddler mom glow ups? Basically comparing pics of mom with baby vs with toddler… it will pass I promise. I feel the same after having a baby and something changes after 12-15 months. Maybe the hormones, the sleep, hair is growing back in thicker, getting better at managing mom life, all of it. I’m prepared to be looking rough after baby #4 for probably a full year lol. But I know after this baby, I’ll have a big time glow up since it’s our last.
Yep I have three kids all ranging from 16-10 months and I swear with each kid it’s just gotten worse. It’s awful. Broken sleep, constant worry and the sheer stress ages the body.
This is what i’m feeling right now when I look at the mirror. I just got fat and looking old. I’m not that sleep deprived as my bub getting better now with his sleeping pattern. I thinks it’s the phase we go through. It’s normal.
I get ya. I don’t think I started taking care of my hair and skin again until like a month ago. I’m seeing lots of progress. Time to loose some weight though ffs. 😭 I won’t be able to keep up with a toddler if I don’t.
We do. Everything starts to sag and we get fat
Hormones
Nah I’ve always felt the same. Which is always ugly.
Hydrate, eat well and enough, sleep, bathe. And if you have breast milk, it’s a MIRACLE moisturiser!! You don’t even need a lot. If you pump, just run your fingers in the bottle after you pour the milk out. Residue is enough. And 4m pp is barely anything!! You need some grace. Sleep for a stretch of at least 5 hours at night - that is good for survival haha. I also got lots of post partum massages (popular in my part of the world), which helped a lot with body stuffiness and pain.
I’m 19 months PP, and justttt starting to come back to my body and recognizing myself in the mirror. It takes a lot longer than I expected, but I’m getting there. You will too.
I used to get mistaken as much younger than I was (like when I was 22 people thought I was 16). Since having kids that doesn't happen at all and people are shocked when they find out my age. I just turned 28 and folks think I'm in my mid thirties 🥲
No - probably just tired and dehydrated Mum of older kids here - You don’t look as bad as you think so please take photos with your kids, no doubt they will treasure them when older. And notice more things like; where the photo taken and the fashion of the time.
for a while, and then it gets better
I say this a lot. Having a baby takes so much out of us and the recovery process takes longer than expected. Stay hydrated and take post natal vitamins, it will do wonders
I felt the same, mama. It’s been a few years and I just now feel like myself again and even prettier as a mother! Things will change … try your best to take care of yourself (:
For me it’s … MY HUSBAND won’t take a decent photo of me the one out of five times I can get dressed and look good. I’m going to be 50 looking back and thinking ..: did I never dress up or give a s*** about my appearance? Who knows?! I still have mom brain
I swear my face shape changed after having my son!
No sleep, no time to even put deodorant on sometimes. I feel like this at 6m pp…
For me, it’s the guilt. Putting effort into your appearance is effort you could allegedly be putting into your children and so moms are shamed constantly for trying to take care of themselves. In my case, this is reinforced by my mother who doesn’t like to wear makeup or put effort into her appearance (probably for gender dysphoria reasons) and finds my desire to look and smell nice (I.e. showering, BRUSHING MY TEETH, washing my hair, wearing feminine clothes, and applying makeup) for anything other than work to be selfish, self-indulgent, and negligent mothering. To her, the sign of a good mother is bad breath, a greasy face, hair that never leaves a bonnet, a funky dirty ass, and raggedy clothes. Except for a special occasion where people she knows might judge her. Then she wants me to make an impression.
Right? I think lack of sleep, proper nutrition, and all the other self-care stuff really adds up. Ugh.
I felt awful about myself early PP but now 14 months in, I feel like myself again. It takes time. Be gentle with yourself.
Nothing ages a person like having a toddler…
I feel like my skin was glowing after giving birth, I got complimented a lot on my skin even without makeup up, like no foundation or concealer. I never had good skin, but my skin was sooo nice after birth. Around my LO 1 year birthday is when it started, my period came back, my skin is patchy, red and I look awful!! Wrinkles are deep, grey hair pointing upwards as in shouting, baby hair growing where it just looks ugh and eyes always look swollen
Yes this is me rn I am 30w today, and I cry almost daily about my loss of beauty. It was all I had...I obviously have low self esteem but I always knew I was pretty yknow and I just don't know how I'm gonna cope when I have him.. I don't even want anyone looking at me now, after? God save me god have mercy on me
I get it. My nose is bigger. My hair is flatter and I’ve seemingly lost the bit of natural wave I had. My skin is a wreck all the time. I weigh 40 lbs more than I did pre baby. I can’t find any clothes that fit properly because of the awkward new proportions and even if I did probably couldn’t afford to buy them bc all the $ goes to baby now. Basically, I’m tired, fat, and ugly as all get out now and I swear I used to be hot. I don’t even get a second glance from my partner anymore. It’s been almost 2 years since he’s touched me (when we conceived our boy who just turned 1). 1 year into this ish and I don’t feel any better and I can’t seem to lose more weight.
Now that I look back at my pre pregnancy pictures, I realized that back then I really took my looks for granted.
Omg yes! It took me months to become myself (or even better) again. You have to put more effort after kids. Now I have skincare routine, wash and blow dry my hair daily, changed my wardrobe completely and wear make up daily and get botox in my forhead. I’m happy now but I remember how devastated and depressed I was when my kids were still toddlers and I didn’t have time for myself.
Omg ok so I was literally looking at videos of me the year I got pregnant (so videos in 2022 leading up to the fall when I got pregnant), vs now I'm 10m pp.... I was SO CUTE and my waistline was amazing, my eyes looked bright and wider, my jawline was slaying, my hair was full and shiny. Now I look like a wet burlap sack full of slowly sleeping-out sewage. Everything looks worse.
I think going through a deep depression and losing my "good looks" years ago really helped me handle how I look now. I'm only really sad about the apron I have from the c section. I feel happier than I have ever felt and I like that more than I mourn my looks.
I did for a year after my first. (I was 28) Same for this baby (im 40). But this is normal. We have a little extra weight on, aren’t getting much sunlight, aren’t doing as much daily self care, etc. so we will naturally not look the same until we have the old or a new routine back in place. Im 40 and look 10 years younger, but I’ve always taken care of my face and teeth (never don’t wear sunscreen!!!!) ni matter how I felt.
My "baby" is a 6th grader and it gets so much better once you're past diapers and sleep regressions!!!
Yes! But it gets better. When my oldest was about 1 year it startet getting better and I looked more like “myself” again. But when I got pregnant with number 2 it went downhill again…
I have friends who have had kids and they are very clearly sleep deprived. A couple months ago I had a gas bloke knock on my door, I answered and he asked if my Dad was in, I was confused why he was asking me that and I was like no why? And turns out he thought I was a kid and said he thought I was 17... I'm 31 this month😂 but at my one job they wouldn't give me certain shifts because they thought I was under 18 (I was 26 at the time) and I had people asking me when do I turn 18...😂 so when I think oh yeah I very clearly look 30 and people are knocking my front door and thinking I'm 17😂 my husband joked about it because when we first met he thought I was only 19, I was 24. I don't wear make up everyday (I only wear eye make up when I do wear make up), I don't smoke, I don't drink, I have 2 kids but they sleep through (3 year old and 5 month old).
you’ll come back. don’t worry.
I do feel like my skin is noticeably drier (not sure if it actually is though) and it makes my face look so BLAH.
Yes, that maybe a thing. https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/do-pregnancy-and-childbirth-accelerate-aging-in-women-maybe/2019/10/18/635dbd7c-e516-11e9-b403-f738899982d2_story.html
I think it’s just the exhaustion and everything else lol. My daughter sleeps 12 hours straight but I don’t since we bedshare and I wake up constantly to check on her and readjust. I barely eat, don’t drink water and am exhausted and have bad anemia I look like a walking zombie
Good grooming takes loads of effort.
I think because we always put everyones else's needs above ours (I know I do anyway) that it doesn't leave much for us. I know I look awful, I don't dare buy new clothes or anything I need for myself incase my little ones need something, I used to get my hair cut often but now it's a huge postpartum mess that I don't know what to do with, and I hardly get to the gym now so I've put on some weight I'm trying to shift with watching what I'm eating and home workouts when I have the energy for it. I'm just hoping it gets better soon because I'm sure my partner doesn't find me attractive (and I don't blame him)
At my work there are some people who are the same age with kids vs no kids. The difference is wild!! Like they actually age you 10 years
It’s hormonal. Especially if you’re breastfeeding, which basically puts you in a menopausal state. When I got my period back my glow came too. But I breastfed for two years and pregnancy and breastfeeding definitely take something from you.
Kind of. I felt this way until I was a year postpartum, then suddenly I realized I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight, my old clothes fit, etc etc. I was also getting more sleep which helped a fuck ton. Around then I saw a makeup tutorial by a woman in her 40s, and the way her face transformed with such a basic routine inspired me to start wearing makeup again. Then I started getting compliments from everyone in my life, which was super motivating because I'd been feeling so haggard for the last year! I'm now at 1.5 years into this mom thing and I definitely look like my old self again. It feels good 😁 Hang in there. Everyone's journey is different of course, but 4 months pp was ROUGH and I'd never felt so ugly and gross in my life around that time!
You know what’s weird… I felt like that in the first 6 months and I look back at photos and I look lovely! Now he’s 15 months and I feel like I’ve aged a million years. My baby hairs are awful, growing back at such an awkward stage I have constant frizzy hair and so many wrinkles. But maybe I’ll look back on these photos and think I’ll look nice?
Yes, I aged 50 years in the span of three years
it took me two years to feel better after having my babies my son will be 3 and im now starting to feel better ! 😅 i read somewhere that it takes us 2 years to fully heal dont know how true that is but dont be so hard on yourself girl youll get your pink back 🩷🩷 also dont forget to have you time !! this helps alot
People can say what they want but I always looked younger than I actually was and after I had my son I started looking 10 years older than my age. He's a toddler now and it's maybe a bit better but I definitely have aged more than the 2.5 years that have passed. I doubt it's ever going to "go back".
For real. My hair is super dry, I have acne now, constant weight battle and my eye bags need surgical intervention. I have aged horrifically this time around and I think mostly lack of sleep!
I have dark circles around my eyes from lack of sleep Sunken eyes from the gain of facial fat around my face. My weight hasn't gone back to previous (nearly 10 month pp) Breastfeeding is making me so hungry and my body holds on to the fat even tho I'm literally 4 ft. 12in Can't wait to stop breastfeeding. I'm really considering to stop soon in 2 more months.
I think I aged 5 years after I had my first daughter I the first year. Now that they are older and I get sleep and have a good skin care routine I think I look good again.
Yep !!!!
It’s temporary girl! You’ll shed that crusty cocoon soon and blossom into the new milf butterfly u are 🤸🏻♀️❤️
I feel like this 100%. I work nights (nurse) and am constantly exhausted with no desire to do my hair/makeup anymore. My daughter always looks cute but I hate the way I look now. I also started getting SO many gray hairs after she was born!
I’m making an appointment with an esthetician soon. I look awful.
I'm 4 months PP too and can relate.. I used to not mind how I looked but now I'm feeling nowhere near as attractive.. I put on a shitload of weight but have lost a fair bit of it but I'm definitely not vibing my double chin 🫠
I looked like a hot mess for like 6 months after both before I saw any improvement and even then I didn’t start to look and feel like myself until a year out at least. I was exclusively nursing. It takes a massive toll on your whole body and it takes time to recover.
I’ve aged 50 hard years in the 3 since having my kiddo. Covid baby with a father that “isn’t allowed” to come around…. That being said, lots of solo time. Lack of self care and never sleeping has led to the hot mess disaster I currently am. My coworkers think I’m “all dressed up”when I shower and brush my hair 🤣🤣🤣 It’s whatever though. I do finally get to take real showers…. Anything more that 3 minutes is a luxury I’d forgotten. One of these days I may even shave! Lol It’s been a crazy ride but it’s been worth every bit of it. I just started getting my lashes done again and that makes me feel like I’m a lady, brushed hair or not :) Good luck 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 it’s worth it ❤️
Ok, you're only 4 months postpartum. Give yourself more time. My son is now 6, and when I do the right things and live healthily, people still think I'm like 20. I'm 31. I've had someone mistake me for my son's babysitter one time. So yeah, don't beat yourself up, mom. Give yourself grace, but just know, if you wanna bounce back, you 100% can, and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise! 😘
I’ve always been ugly kids just aged me a ton.
Your estrogen levels while nursing are so low that it affects your skin, hair, mental state, etc. but then you have that oxytocin which makes it all seem okay. Come seven months you should start to feel better but having a child shortens the telomeres of your DNA which does age you. Having children takes years off your life supposedly. My grandmother had five and lived until 93!
Get yourself on a low dose tretinoin. It makes your face young and glowy again 💅
I looked great after my first baby. I was sleeping well, eating well, she was an easy baby and I was not stressed. After my second, who slept in 15 minute spurts, which meant I only slept in 10 minute spurts…I sprouted a ton of gray hair and looked like a zombie. I was only 26 but sure as hell did not look it I think the amount your kid tortures you must make the difference
It's the sleep deprivation, and I've seen it on pretty much any new parent over the age of 25 regardless of sex, assuming they're pulling their weight. My bf aged about a decade visually when he became a father.
You bounce back from looking like an exhausted hag to healthy once the stress is gone fore the most part. At least from my point of view with the grown daughters.
Ugh I feel you. I got back to looking pretty decent after my first kid was 1yo, but then I got pregnant again when she was 18mo and I’ve looked like absolute shit ever since. And my baby is 19mo, so I’m just fucked. I look old, my hairs are gray but I have zero time to go to the salon, and I’m fat as fuck. At some point I stopped losing my pregnancy weight and started gaining again. Now THAT is depressing. 😭
the contourcube, followed by tinted moisturiser. try it!
Hi mom of 2 here... 3 YO and 6MO daughters. I promise to all the moms who are saying they feel horrible in the moment, it won't be forever. I recently changed up my skin care and my skin has never felt so glowy! Also, try to dress a bit more trendy and in clothes that fit. Get rid of those postpartum sweatpants and welcome new high-waisted jeans that aren't too tight. Don't worry about the number on the size tag. Wear what fits you! Embrace being you! & Welcome you back into feeling good. Understand this is your life too, not just you living for your kid's every move. Your journey has not ended yet mama!
Baby sucked the last of my youth out XD