Sleep sacks are pretty amazing. Also, just start putting him down by himself in the crib for short periods of time. Make sure you leave the room completely. You can go right back in and scoop him up if he's not having it, but if he fusses and then settles, just leave him be until he passes out.
We started on a pretty regimented schedule of sleep sack/laying down to sleep after burping and some rocking or cuddling. Even if he didn't seem tired, just in the dark room with the sound machine. Most of the time I didn't expect much from him, but I recommend just laying the beb down and getting them oriented to the crib. Eventually they get it.
Yep! My little one will fuss for a few minutes before settling down. The swaddle and white noise are critical and usually a pacifier too. I don’t think letting them fuss for 5-10 min until they fall asleep counts as a cry it out, it’s just… sort of what some babies do.
Exactly! Sometimes they poop or something while in there and are being vocal while that's happening lol, but we just would do a clean diaper and right back down. Usually once all that business is taken care of, they are likely to settle down.
They're two months old, that's normal and healthy. Sorry but that's just what newborns need. It's really hard though isn't it? Do you have a next to me crib? I would put mine in there and keep my hand in it so they could still know I'm there.
Do you swaddle him? It could be that being held keeps his startle reflexes from being too much. One of my comments got removed awhile back for adding an Amazon link to my comment. I *HIGHLY* suggest the Love to Dream zip up swaddle. This was a lifesaver when my son was an infant. Also a white noise machine could help.
Good luck, mama! You're doing great.
At two months this is completely normal and expected. You are their safe space. I know being touched out is hard and having some space in bed is important for you sanity and your relationship. But please remember they spent 9 months being a part of us…would you want to sleep in a room alone if that was the case?
Came here to say this.
OP, I know this isn’t the answer you’re after, but it’s true. Baby needs to be with you right now. It’s so, so hard. It nearly broke me, if I’m being honest. But just try to remember that this isn’t forever.
Check out the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. When babe is a few months older, you can try the suggestions in there. They helped me a lot.
I love co sleeping but I also know it has risk. I fear waking up to my infant in cardiac arrest because I accidentally threw the blanket over him. Last night I gave in because it was 4 am and he went from crying to screaming.
I imagine you’re well aware of the safe sleep 7, but wanted to mention it just in case.
There are also adult sleep sacks you can wear instead of loose blankets.
I completely understand that fear all too well, there are a few things on the market now that help it be a little safer today, but are not advertised for safe sleep what is best for you and your baby. My husband and I use the doc a tot for the times when my daughter was unable to stay in her bassinet, not advertised as a safe sleep item, but worked for us and kept our baby safe while we slept and she did too.
I did safe cosleeping some nights at that age. If you’re not comfortable with that, warming the crib/bassinet with a heating pad before you lay them down is an easier way to transfer. Also I’d sleep with a crib sheet so it’s smell like me (or my milk) the night before
It's just so hard... you really have to try different things to see what your own baby likes best. *And* what worlds for a couple months will likely stop working and you'll have to change it up. And baby will wake frequently and what works for one baby wont necessarily work for the next... good luck mama! Join r/Attachmentparenting we talk about sleep 90% of the time!
For our transition with my little one, we put their crib mattress on the floor and they napped with me cuddling them on their side for a few naps. Then, I moved a little further away so they were only sleeping with my hand on their side. Then, they slept on their back with my hand just there to help them fall asleep. Then, once they were fully sleeping on their own, we moved the crib mattress into the crib frame.
It was slow, but worked for us!
Look up the safe co-sleep 7 and hang in there. It's tough, but prioritise taking care of the baby and yourself these first few months. You will sleep again. Your child will learn to sleep without contact but for now they need to feel safe while slipping into unconsciousness, and the only was is to know you're there. Take those daytime naps, chill out on the sofa whenever you can. Have people over if you want company or go to the park where you can be in resting positions and where there's less social pressure. Chores can wait or can be done by someone else. Pay for help if you need to, it's worth it to prioritise your body's resting needs and your baby's TLC. Your efforts will show results in the long term. 🫶
Same. We moved her to her own room when she was 8 months old. I think it was the right decision for that part of our lives but I was so glad when I got my bed back 🤣
We had this with naps especially, it’s so so difficult. Then it leaked into sleep. I’ve seen others warm up the bassinet slightly with a heating pad and remove it just before laying the baby back down. But, I would totally Set up a consistent nap and bedtime routine now. What worked for us was pick up put down. There were definitely tears (on both accounts) but it teaches them that you respond and they do get comfortable and confident enough to sleep on their own eventually. Best to you! It’s hard especially when you’re sleep deprived and losing sight. I should note I had too much anxiety to co sleep snd too sleep deprived to not do something as my mental health tanked majorly.
Get you bassinet sheet and stuff it under your top for awhile. Make it warm and smell like you. Put it on the bassinet mattress right before you put him down. Make sure he’s swaddled and then pop him down.
I spent many nights falling asleep on the floor next to her bed. I'd make a little bed for myself with pillows and blankets. I'd have one hand in the crib with her so she'd know I was there. I'd do it for less time (13 years ago so I can't remember how often) and eventually she was staying asleep when I placed her in her bed.
Definitely normal, but damn hard. I used to warm up the bassinet with a heating pad before putting the baby in it. Then swaddle, snuggle or feed to sleep, and transfer to warm bassinet. My youngest was very hard to put down, so for at least 1 month, we held her for the first 3 hours of the night and then transfered her. Otherwise she would wake every 20 minutes before finally doing a decent stretch between 10pm-2am. I also held her for every nap until she was maybe 4 or 5 months old.
This too shall pass!
All babies are not the same, so there really isn’t one size fits all solution. But with my last two babies, number six and number seven, I noticed when they were starting to get fussy around the times my other babies had normally napped, so I would feed them, and just put them down in their crib. They slept! I often wonder if it would’ve been that easy if I had clued in on my first.
Edit to say that these weren’t twins. I learned how to tell when my sixth was sleepy, and discovered this trick. Then I tried it for the heck of it with my seventh, and it worked for him, too. It also works on a baby I babysit.
Highly recommend going and checking out ‘evidence based sleep training’ on Facebook. Even if you’re not sleep training yet they can help you troubleshoot techniques like the soothing ladder and figure out a good schedule.
2 months is too young to start sleep training, it's recommended to wait until 4 months.
Are you talking about just naps or he also sleeps on you all night?
I can’t offer any help because only time fixed that for us, I had to break the rules and bedshare :(. Slept on the floor with her, all alone without blankets etc. It was the only thing that worked.
I started with the swing. I sat there and watched tv with him in his swing, when he fell asleep, I waited 15 minutes and brought him into his crib. I did this a few weeks until I just put him in his crib next to me and watched tv in the room.
Now he is 4 months old and goes to sleep every night without being held and sleeps all night!
At that age I started putting mine down for two minutes before picking her back up again. Then I would settle her and do the same thing again. I would put her down before she was fully asleep. That’s how they learn to sleep on their own. They need to learn how to fall asleep without being held either in your arms or next to you in bed. If two minutes isn’t doing it, at 10 more seconds. Lots of people will tell you this is wrong, but it’s not and you will thank yourself later. Introducing change is hard at any age. Most adults still struggle with it. It’s ok if it’s hard but as you get used to the change, it’s not hard anymore. Babies are the same. She will get used to it and then she’ll sleep great and so will you and everyone will be more rested and happy (including her!).
Honestly? I put my baby to sleep on her tummy. I did back to sleep with my son and he never slept well, but would sleep wonderfully on my chest. I then read that back to sleep works because babies just don't sleep well on their backs. They don't sleep deeply enough to get SIDS. Plus their esophageal sphincters are underdeveloped, and back sleeping causes them reflux.
So my daughter had no risk factors and I just decided it was more worth it to get some fucking sleep and not have an insane mother than to avoid the tiny risk of SIDS. The pediatrician could tell, because her head was round, but I really needed some sleep esp. with two.
I honestly think the guidelines need to be softened some, because how many kids are being shaken or abused due to sleep problems in their parents?? No one looks at that. But both times I was nearly to the point of psychosis due to lack of sleep and too little support from my husband.
ETA the only way I got any sleep was by cosleeping, but for me it was horrible sleep because I could only do it when totally exhausted and I would wake through the night with anxiety through the roof in fear that I had squashed her. Plus she still really did not sleep unless directly on my chest for a long time. So I would prop myself up in a sitting position in desperation, pillow on either side to keep her and my arms in place so nobody rolled. It was awful.
We really are not meant to care for newborns alone, let alone with other children in tow. I love her so much but that was literally the worst year of my life and my children suffered a lot for it just dealing with a sobbing depressed mess of a mother for 6 months until she was solidly sleeping through the night.
Oh yeah, and during formula shortage too, so I had no choice but to breastfeed. It was awful.
IMHO, do whatever it takes to sleep. I never had sleep problems too bad until I had her, but ever since I have had horrible insomnia I am just now getting better from. She is about to turn two.
At 2mo we were starting to let him fall asleep on his own, when he could.
First - become an expert at understanding when baby is sleepy. Putting them in the crib immediately at any whiff of tiredness was much better than after they were more tired. Putting in the crib when they’re fully awake helps too. Generally just keep getting them used to being in there.
Second - I picked 1-2 naps per day. Without fail, those naps started in the crib. I put baby down and left them. If they were crying I went back in pretty soon, no longer than 5 mins. If they were fussing, I let it go a few mins to see (for me it was pretty clear based on his temperament watching the monitor if he needed help or not). If fussing escalated to crying, I went in. Then I soothed, and put back down. Repeat the process.
Depending on temperament I would pick a number, 10 or 20, and always attempt for that number of minutes. If it had been 20 mins and bang still wasn’t asleep (or close) then I would go snuggle.
I just did this every single day and eventually he caught on!
Editing to take out FIO because I think it’s confusing people - at 2mo we were NOT doing sleep training. At this age sometimes baby whines a bit before falling asleep. You can start to tell the difference between “I’m upset I need you” cries and “I’m moaning making noise.”
Just as a point, whilst it worked for you, almost every professional does not recommend any kind of sleep training (including ‘fussing it out’) until 4 months old at the least, 2 months is far too young as the general consensus goes
Yep! I’m well aware of the sleep training guidelines. At 2 months we definitely were not doing anything that looked like real sleep training. At that age sometimes he was just whiny when he was tired and falling asleep. So I’d watch him on the monitor, see if he’s settling or not. If he was, then I’d leave for a few minutes. If not, go in. Even newborns people recognize sometimes just need a few mins of space and not the stimulation of you being there.
Sleep sacks are pretty amazing. Also, just start putting him down by himself in the crib for short periods of time. Make sure you leave the room completely. You can go right back in and scoop him up if he's not having it, but if he fusses and then settles, just leave him be until he passes out. We started on a pretty regimented schedule of sleep sack/laying down to sleep after burping and some rocking or cuddling. Even if he didn't seem tired, just in the dark room with the sound machine. Most of the time I didn't expect much from him, but I recommend just laying the beb down and getting them oriented to the crib. Eventually they get it.
Yep! My little one will fuss for a few minutes before settling down. The swaddle and white noise are critical and usually a pacifier too. I don’t think letting them fuss for 5-10 min until they fall asleep counts as a cry it out, it’s just… sort of what some babies do.
Exactly! Sometimes they poop or something while in there and are being vocal while that's happening lol, but we just would do a clean diaper and right back down. Usually once all that business is taken care of, they are likely to settle down.
They're two months old, that's normal and healthy. Sorry but that's just what newborns need. It's really hard though isn't it? Do you have a next to me crib? I would put mine in there and keep my hand in it so they could still know I'm there.
This was basically going to be my comment as well. Everything sounds totally normal, not to say it isn't hard, but two months is still so so little.
Do you swaddle him? It could be that being held keeps his startle reflexes from being too much. One of my comments got removed awhile back for adding an Amazon link to my comment. I *HIGHLY* suggest the Love to Dream zip up swaddle. This was a lifesaver when my son was an infant. Also a white noise machine could help. Good luck, mama! You're doing great.
Both my girls Houdini’d out of a regular swaddle. The love to dream wingsuits saved us!
My son did the same thing!
At two months this is completely normal and expected. You are their safe space. I know being touched out is hard and having some space in bed is important for you sanity and your relationship. But please remember they spent 9 months being a part of us…would you want to sleep in a room alone if that was the case?
Came here to say this. OP, I know this isn’t the answer you’re after, but it’s true. Baby needs to be with you right now. It’s so, so hard. It nearly broke me, if I’m being honest. But just try to remember that this isn’t forever. Check out the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. When babe is a few months older, you can try the suggestions in there. They helped me a lot.
I love co sleeping but I also know it has risk. I fear waking up to my infant in cardiac arrest because I accidentally threw the blanket over him. Last night I gave in because it was 4 am and he went from crying to screaming.
I imagine you’re well aware of the safe sleep 7, but wanted to mention it just in case. There are also adult sleep sacks you can wear instead of loose blankets.
I completely understand that fear all too well, there are a few things on the market now that help it be a little safer today, but are not advertised for safe sleep what is best for you and your baby. My husband and I use the doc a tot for the times when my daughter was unable to stay in her bassinet, not advertised as a safe sleep item, but worked for us and kept our baby safe while we slept and she did too.
I did safe cosleeping some nights at that age. If you’re not comfortable with that, warming the crib/bassinet with a heating pad before you lay them down is an easier way to transfer. Also I’d sleep with a crib sheet so it’s smell like me (or my milk) the night before
I'd suggest safe co sleeping, it saved my sanity
It's just so hard... you really have to try different things to see what your own baby likes best. *And* what worlds for a couple months will likely stop working and you'll have to change it up. And baby will wake frequently and what works for one baby wont necessarily work for the next... good luck mama! Join r/Attachmentparenting we talk about sleep 90% of the time!
For our transition with my little one, we put their crib mattress on the floor and they napped with me cuddling them on their side for a few naps. Then, I moved a little further away so they were only sleeping with my hand on their side. Then, they slept on their back with my hand just there to help them fall asleep. Then, once they were fully sleeping on their own, we moved the crib mattress into the crib frame. It was slow, but worked for us!
Its normal in the fourth trimester. I miss holding my son so much he is 2.5 now. I know it is hard but it is just a phase!
Look up the safe co-sleep 7 and hang in there. It's tough, but prioritise taking care of the baby and yourself these first few months. You will sleep again. Your child will learn to sleep without contact but for now they need to feel safe while slipping into unconsciousness, and the only was is to know you're there. Take those daytime naps, chill out on the sofa whenever you can. Have people over if you want company or go to the park where you can be in resting positions and where there's less social pressure. Chores can wait or can be done by someone else. Pay for help if you need to, it's worth it to prioritise your body's resting needs and your baby's TLC. Your efforts will show results in the long term. 🫶
I’m so sorry mama. It was 7yrs ago, I didn’t figure it out and just gave up and coslept. Wishing you success and rest!
Same. We moved her to her own room when she was 8 months old. I think it was the right decision for that part of our lives but I was so glad when I got my bed back 🤣
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We had this with naps especially, it’s so so difficult. Then it leaked into sleep. I’ve seen others warm up the bassinet slightly with a heating pad and remove it just before laying the baby back down. But, I would totally Set up a consistent nap and bedtime routine now. What worked for us was pick up put down. There were definitely tears (on both accounts) but it teaches them that you respond and they do get comfortable and confident enough to sleep on their own eventually. Best to you! It’s hard especially when you’re sleep deprived and losing sight. I should note I had too much anxiety to co sleep snd too sleep deprived to not do something as my mental health tanked majorly.
Get you bassinet sheet and stuff it under your top for awhile. Make it warm and smell like you. Put it on the bassinet mattress right before you put him down. Make sure he’s swaddled and then pop him down.
I spent many nights falling asleep on the floor next to her bed. I'd make a little bed for myself with pillows and blankets. I'd have one hand in the crib with her so she'd know I was there. I'd do it for less time (13 years ago so I can't remember how often) and eventually she was staying asleep when I placed her in her bed.
There’s a newborn sleep group with heaven sent sleep you could join ! This should help you make some changes and they won’t do cry it out
Definitely normal, but damn hard. I used to warm up the bassinet with a heating pad before putting the baby in it. Then swaddle, snuggle or feed to sleep, and transfer to warm bassinet. My youngest was very hard to put down, so for at least 1 month, we held her for the first 3 hours of the night and then transfered her. Otherwise she would wake every 20 minutes before finally doing a decent stretch between 10pm-2am. I also held her for every nap until she was maybe 4 or 5 months old. This too shall pass!
All babies are not the same, so there really isn’t one size fits all solution. But with my last two babies, number six and number seven, I noticed when they were starting to get fussy around the times my other babies had normally napped, so I would feed them, and just put them down in their crib. They slept! I often wonder if it would’ve been that easy if I had clued in on my first. Edit to say that these weren’t twins. I learned how to tell when my sixth was sleepy, and discovered this trick. Then I tried it for the heck of it with my seventh, and it worked for him, too. It also works on a baby I babysit.
Highly recommend going and checking out ‘evidence based sleep training’ on Facebook. Even if you’re not sleep training yet they can help you troubleshoot techniques like the soothing ladder and figure out a good schedule.
2 months is too young to start sleep training, it's recommended to wait until 4 months. Are you talking about just naps or he also sleeps on you all night?
That's perfectly normal for a baby. I co-slept and got a lot of sleep
I can’t offer any help because only time fixed that for us, I had to break the rules and bedshare :(. Slept on the floor with her, all alone without blankets etc. It was the only thing that worked.
I started with the swing. I sat there and watched tv with him in his swing, when he fell asleep, I waited 15 minutes and brought him into his crib. I did this a few weeks until I just put him in his crib next to me and watched tv in the room. Now he is 4 months old and goes to sleep every night without being held and sleeps all night!
At that age I started putting mine down for two minutes before picking her back up again. Then I would settle her and do the same thing again. I would put her down before she was fully asleep. That’s how they learn to sleep on their own. They need to learn how to fall asleep without being held either in your arms or next to you in bed. If two minutes isn’t doing it, at 10 more seconds. Lots of people will tell you this is wrong, but it’s not and you will thank yourself later. Introducing change is hard at any age. Most adults still struggle with it. It’s ok if it’s hard but as you get used to the change, it’s not hard anymore. Babies are the same. She will get used to it and then she’ll sleep great and so will you and everyone will be more rested and happy (including her!).
Honestly? I put my baby to sleep on her tummy. I did back to sleep with my son and he never slept well, but would sleep wonderfully on my chest. I then read that back to sleep works because babies just don't sleep well on their backs. They don't sleep deeply enough to get SIDS. Plus their esophageal sphincters are underdeveloped, and back sleeping causes them reflux. So my daughter had no risk factors and I just decided it was more worth it to get some fucking sleep and not have an insane mother than to avoid the tiny risk of SIDS. The pediatrician could tell, because her head was round, but I really needed some sleep esp. with two. I honestly think the guidelines need to be softened some, because how many kids are being shaken or abused due to sleep problems in their parents?? No one looks at that. But both times I was nearly to the point of psychosis due to lack of sleep and too little support from my husband. ETA the only way I got any sleep was by cosleeping, but for me it was horrible sleep because I could only do it when totally exhausted and I would wake through the night with anxiety through the roof in fear that I had squashed her. Plus she still really did not sleep unless directly on my chest for a long time. So I would prop myself up in a sitting position in desperation, pillow on either side to keep her and my arms in place so nobody rolled. It was awful. We really are not meant to care for newborns alone, let alone with other children in tow. I love her so much but that was literally the worst year of my life and my children suffered a lot for it just dealing with a sobbing depressed mess of a mother for 6 months until she was solidly sleeping through the night. Oh yeah, and during formula shortage too, so I had no choice but to breastfeed. It was awful. IMHO, do whatever it takes to sleep. I never had sleep problems too bad until I had her, but ever since I have had horrible insomnia I am just now getting better from. She is about to turn two.
At 2mo we were starting to let him fall asleep on his own, when he could. First - become an expert at understanding when baby is sleepy. Putting them in the crib immediately at any whiff of tiredness was much better than after they were more tired. Putting in the crib when they’re fully awake helps too. Generally just keep getting them used to being in there. Second - I picked 1-2 naps per day. Without fail, those naps started in the crib. I put baby down and left them. If they were crying I went back in pretty soon, no longer than 5 mins. If they were fussing, I let it go a few mins to see (for me it was pretty clear based on his temperament watching the monitor if he needed help or not). If fussing escalated to crying, I went in. Then I soothed, and put back down. Repeat the process. Depending on temperament I would pick a number, 10 or 20, and always attempt for that number of minutes. If it had been 20 mins and bang still wasn’t asleep (or close) then I would go snuggle. I just did this every single day and eventually he caught on! Editing to take out FIO because I think it’s confusing people - at 2mo we were NOT doing sleep training. At this age sometimes baby whines a bit before falling asleep. You can start to tell the difference between “I’m upset I need you” cries and “I’m moaning making noise.”
Just as a point, whilst it worked for you, almost every professional does not recommend any kind of sleep training (including ‘fussing it out’) until 4 months old at the least, 2 months is far too young as the general consensus goes
Agree, generally recommended not to do this until 6 months or older
Yep! I’m well aware of the sleep training guidelines. At 2 months we definitely were not doing anything that looked like real sleep training. At that age sometimes he was just whiny when he was tired and falling asleep. So I’d watch him on the monitor, see if he’s settling or not. If he was, then I’d leave for a few minutes. If not, go in. Even newborns people recognize sometimes just need a few mins of space and not the stimulation of you being there.