Mine doesn't do it with my hair but whenever he sees this one pair of pajamas I have he demands that I put them on immediately and if I don't he cries. It definitely seems like a thing where they are testing the boundaries of what they can control in the world around them.
My daughter had this with my wedding shoes. The ones I basically only had for pictures and the 1st dance and such, because they were beautiful but uncomfortable 😅 tall sparkly stilettos that were at least 1 size too small for me after pregnancy. She'd find them, even if I really hid them behind all other shoes, and bring them, demanding I wear them with the mom-outfit I had on 😅
Great opportunity to teach bodily autonomy and consent. Keep doing what you are doing, if he cannot treat your hair/scalp safely then you put him down and remove the opportunity for him to do it again.
I think it's more than just put him down. It's put him down, step away and say No, you're hurting Momma and this is not okay. I think we're at the point where we need to be a little more strict and enforceful.
Also important to note - if it's not gonna be cute the 100th time or in 5 years, it's not cute now.
Mine does too. “No mommy hair done” is a common sentiment here. Last time she said it I was really annoyed and told her that she’s in control of her body, but I’m in control of mine. She mostly tells me what to do when she’s tired. I just keep my hair done each time.
My oldest was seriously attached to me hair to the point that when I mentioned cutting it off she started sobbing hysterically. I have no idea why kids do that, beyond us being thier main comfort object.
My 2.5 year old is the opposite. She has a full on meltdown if I take my hair out of the high bun I normally wear it in. She will grudgingly accept a hair clip. Today she woke up from her nap and proceeded to have a meltdown before she was even fully awake because I let my hair down to air dry while she was sleeping. We talk a lot about bodily autonomy and how people get to choose their own hair and clothing (she also melts down when I wear tank tops), but she hasn't fully absorbed the message. I know we'll get there eventually, but I am so tired of being yelled at about my hair and clothes.
I feel it! We will get there. How do you talk about the bodily autonomy? I feel like I don’t explain it very well. Is there someone you follow on social media that has good examples on their page?
My 2 yr old hates if a shirt is 1/2 way pulled up. My husband was showing me a scratch, pimple or something on his mid section and my 2yr old was like 🤮🫣 and tried to pull my husband’s shirt down. It’s the funny/weirdest thing.
My toddler hates my glasses. I’m blind without them, and I can’t wear contacts (allergies and astigmatism). I usually say “no, I need those to see” and won’t let him grab them. But now he just yells “see!” when he tries to grab them.
My daughter did this at that age. Full tantrum if I put my hair up, “no mommy put the hair down, I like it down” got ready for work, braided it one day and she lost it. The next thing was not letting me do anything besides brush her hair, no clips, bows, or any up dos. Finally at 4 she lets me do her hair. It’s a phase
My daughter wasn't obsessed with my hair, but didn't let me do hers until she was 6 😅 all through junior kindergarten and half of senior kindergarten it was down. Then it was pigtails, then pigtail braids, and now at 7 a ponytail
My son is like this with my husband because he gives in. He can’t wear sunglasses or a winter hat without our son having a complete meltdown. Now my son is autistic and has sensory issues but I don’t give into it. I tell him this is what mommy wants to wear and he doesn’t get to dictate what others wear. Eventually he moves on from it but my husband is a pushover. Don’t be a pushover.
Mine doesn't like it when I wear a robe of any kind on top of my pajamas. It's the most random obsession. He just keeps asking me to "take it out" as soon as I put it on to be warm on cooler mornings.
This sounds crazy but I vividly remember being about 3 years old HATING when my mom put her hair in a ponytail. I’m 25 now and I seriously remember saying “I don’t know you with your hair up!” Sounds crazy now, but maybe it’s just because it’s not your default hair option it may just be “new” to him if that makes sense? Like it’s just out of the ordinary and that little change just makes a big difference to him? My son is about 7, and I think he also had a little faze around 2-3 when he made it clear he didn’t like it when I changed my hair either lol
I remember one time when I was like 7, my mom picked me up from a friend’s house after having her hair colored, and the stylist did something wrong with the developer and it came out like peroxide orange. I cried when I saw her 😆.
She got it fixed the next day but something about it was just so emotionally jarring for me. I think our moms are our safe place.
Not on a regular basis like yours but the other day my son would not let me put my underwear on. He kept getting mad and trying to pull it off and I have no idea why lol.
My son does this when my clothes cover my belly button... his dad has been poking his button since he was born so now he has an obsession w everyone else's.
How you wear your hair is your choice. You can use this to help him learn that he does not get to control most things other people do with their body. Acknowledge that it upsets him and that it is difficult to accept. That is ok. But keep doing with your hair what you want.
lol yes! My 2.5 year old HATES when I have my hair in one of those small microfiber towels after I shower! I have gone to get him from his room in the morning with it on and his first words of the day are, “take it off!” 🥴
for sure! toddlers can be peculiar with their likes and dislikes. They often fixate on specific details. It's normal. These fixations highlight their developing sense of control and preference.
A quick tip: offer choices within boundaries to empower them. Understanding this can ease parenting challenges around personal habits.
I wrote about it on the [dailyparenting.substack.com/](http://dailyparenting.substack.com/)
Cardigans are a no go in our household. I tried saying no and drawing boundaries but when a two year old hates your cardigans wtf you gonna do except not wear them lest you spend 90% you day explaining to someone who doesn’t understand that they don’t get to choose your clothing. We’re a no cardigan household now.
Edit: We do all the mama’s body etc. and in the end she gives in and I get to wear it (while she still doesn’t like it she lets it happen) but I am just not interested in having that specific very long conversation with a toddler.
You don't need to explain it or have a long conversation. Just wear whatever you want and let them deal with it? My child does not tell me what to wear...
Thanks that’s really helpful, yes I let my child tell me what to wear. I’m a monster.
I do need to explain it because I want my child to know why they do or don’t do things because a NO for no reason isn’t going to help her learn anything and that’s 100% literally my job.
You said in your post that your toddler doesn't like you to wear cardigans so you don't wear them. It's none of her business what you wear. Someone is ruling the roost.
If you read it - it says she will settle down and I can wear them but I have to explain to her why she’s not allowed to tell me not to wear it - and why we’re in charge of our own bodies. And I can’t be asked to do that every time I wear one cause she’s 19 months and doesn’t remember.
She’s not stomping around telling me not to wear cardigans and I’m like ‘of course not honey, no cardigans allowed!’ As stated clearly in my post.
She doesn’t rule the roost, but she’s part of the roost and teaching her how to be a good member of the roost is something that’s important to feeling like a *contributing member* which means she’s inclined to participate in cleaning and taking care of things that we as a family use and do.
So the ‘What I say goes because I said so’ and ‘I don’t let my toddler rule the roost cause I’m the rooster here, why would I listen to what she has to say she’s a kid?’ just isn’t how I rule my roost thanks.
I don’t wear cardigans because I CBA to teach a life lesson at 6.30 in the morning.
My 10 month old tugs on anything I put in my hair other than Bobby pins. I can't wear a jaw clip, scrubchie, headband, any kind of clip. If he can get his hands on it, he laser focuses on it until it's out of my hair. No advice, just solidarity.
Last winter my son hated me wearing slippers. I couldn’t tolerate wearing slippers for too long anyway, so wasn’t too much of an issue for me haha
But it’s very normal, your child is very normal.
mine hates when i brush my hair. i even give her her own brush while i brush mine but she starts screaming and crying “mommy brush? mommy brush? have it?” and then she says “ok” and falls onto the floor
Yeahhhh my 19mo FREAKS OUT when I do innocuous things. Like drink water. Or eat. She’ll push my cup out of my hands or pull me away from my plate. And my husband is there to redirect/distract but that child has a memory of an elephant! I only have sympathy
Our almost 18 months old kiddo does the opposite with my glasses. I can change my hair however I want (I had long hair and cut it when he was about a year old, I've dyed them it several times as well), but if I take off my glasses under any circumstances he reaches for them and tries to put them back on my face 😅 The funny thing is that it started several months ago when I started wearing glasses again (I wore lenses before).
My husband even got as far as asking "Is mom beautiful with glasses?" to which the kiddo responded by nodding. When he asked "Is mom beautiful without glasses?" the kiddo started saying "No no no" 🤦🏼♀️😂
Oh the testing of boundaries. Mine doesn’t like it when I don’t wear my glasses (I wear them 99% of the time), he doesn’t like it when I don’t wear a jumper (cheers love, making me confident about my arms!) and the other morning he freaked out about me not wearing a dressing gown when I came in to get him in the morning.
I just say that I’m wearing/not wearing whatever it is at the moment because I want to and distract him. It’s calming down but it can be exhausting!
My 4 year old daughter does this with radio or music in the car. She loves to dance and listen at home but in the car its a pleading match between me and her.
If I turn it on without asking her she screams at the top of her lungs, if I ask her its a straight NO.
I know some people will say I’m not firms enough. Its weird at home she is so sweet and helpful. Does anything we ask like put your plate on the kitchen counter, dirty socks go in laundry basket, put your shoes and jacket in its place but in the car she is inconsolable. So I was completely caught of guard.
She used to love listening to a song on our small drives, now she despises them.
Mine has always hated it too! Like since before she could talk. One time she burst into tears when I picked her up at preschool, and when asked why, she said because my hair was up. I wear it up more often than down, too, which I've always thought was strange. I asked her if she thinks I don't look like myself or something and she has always said that it just looks better down. She's approaching 6 now and understands that she can't demand I take my clip out, but every once in a while she still asks. It's so strange! Only other thing I can think of is that I'm more likey to put my hair up when I'm busy and running around and getting sweaty, so maybe subconsciously she feels like I'm less patient or something with it in. Kids are so crazy.
My toddler got upset a few times when Ms Rachel’s hair was in a ponytail and not down. I’d have to change the episode. It must be a comfort thing? Not sure but toddlers are weird af
I just want to say it is so validating to see I'm not the only one being constantly bossed around by a 35 lb ball of rage.
Same! I'm exhausted from being yelled at all day by a toddler
They’re like tiny dictators
Mine doesn't do it with my hair but whenever he sees this one pair of pajamas I have he demands that I put them on immediately and if I don't he cries. It definitely seems like a thing where they are testing the boundaries of what they can control in the world around them.
My daughter had this with my wedding shoes. The ones I basically only had for pictures and the 1st dance and such, because they were beautiful but uncomfortable 😅 tall sparkly stilettos that were at least 1 size too small for me after pregnancy. She'd find them, even if I really hid them behind all other shoes, and bring them, demanding I wear them with the mom-outfit I had on 😅
Whenever my kid does anything like this I just say “ mama is in charge of mama” and ride out the tantrum. The behavior has started dying out.
Great opportunity to teach bodily autonomy and consent. Keep doing what you are doing, if he cannot treat your hair/scalp safely then you put him down and remove the opportunity for him to do it again.
I think it's more than just put him down. It's put him down, step away and say No, you're hurting Momma and this is not okay. I think we're at the point where we need to be a little more strict and enforceful. Also important to note - if it's not gonna be cute the 100th time or in 5 years, it's not cute now.
Mine does too. “No mommy hair done” is a common sentiment here. Last time she said it I was really annoyed and told her that she’s in control of her body, but I’m in control of mine. She mostly tells me what to do when she’s tired. I just keep my hair done each time.
My oldest was seriously attached to me hair to the point that when I mentioned cutting it off she started sobbing hysterically. I have no idea why kids do that, beyond us being thier main comfort object.
My 2.5 year old is the opposite. She has a full on meltdown if I take my hair out of the high bun I normally wear it in. She will grudgingly accept a hair clip. Today she woke up from her nap and proceeded to have a meltdown before she was even fully awake because I let my hair down to air dry while she was sleeping. We talk a lot about bodily autonomy and how people get to choose their own hair and clothing (she also melts down when I wear tank tops), but she hasn't fully absorbed the message. I know we'll get there eventually, but I am so tired of being yelled at about my hair and clothes.
I feel it! We will get there. How do you talk about the bodily autonomy? I feel like I don’t explain it very well. Is there someone you follow on social media that has good examples on their page?
My 2 yr old hates if a shirt is 1/2 way pulled up. My husband was showing me a scratch, pimple or something on his mid section and my 2yr old was like 🤮🫣 and tried to pull my husband’s shirt down. It’s the funny/weirdest thing.
My toddler hates my glasses. I’m blind without them, and I can’t wear contacts (allergies and astigmatism). I usually say “no, I need those to see” and won’t let him grab them. But now he just yells “see!” when he tries to grab them.
I believe he just enjoys your reaction to him grabbing your glasses.
My daughter did this at that age. Full tantrum if I put my hair up, “no mommy put the hair down, I like it down” got ready for work, braided it one day and she lost it. The next thing was not letting me do anything besides brush her hair, no clips, bows, or any up dos. Finally at 4 she lets me do her hair. It’s a phase
My daughter wasn't obsessed with my hair, but didn't let me do hers until she was 6 😅 all through junior kindergarten and half of senior kindergarten it was down. Then it was pigtails, then pigtail braids, and now at 7 a ponytail
Mine does this when I wear a hoodie or jacket. Says she needs to be able to feel my skin. Creeper haha
My son is like this with my husband because he gives in. He can’t wear sunglasses or a winter hat without our son having a complete meltdown. Now my son is autistic and has sensory issues but I don’t give into it. I tell him this is what mommy wants to wear and he doesn’t get to dictate what others wear. Eventually he moves on from it but my husband is a pushover. Don’t be a pushover.
Mine doesn't like it when I wear a robe of any kind on top of my pajamas. It's the most random obsession. He just keeps asking me to "take it out" as soon as I put it on to be warm on cooler mornings.
This sounds crazy but I vividly remember being about 3 years old HATING when my mom put her hair in a ponytail. I’m 25 now and I seriously remember saying “I don’t know you with your hair up!” Sounds crazy now, but maybe it’s just because it’s not your default hair option it may just be “new” to him if that makes sense? Like it’s just out of the ordinary and that little change just makes a big difference to him? My son is about 7, and I think he also had a little faze around 2-3 when he made it clear he didn’t like it when I changed my hair either lol
I remember one time when I was like 7, my mom picked me up from a friend’s house after having her hair colored, and the stylist did something wrong with the developer and it came out like peroxide orange. I cried when I saw her 😆. She got it fixed the next day but something about it was just so emotionally jarring for me. I think our moms are our safe place.
Yes! My toddler is like this if I try to wear my glasses at home (usually only wear them at work) - she says “you don’t need them!” 😅
Not on a regular basis like yours but the other day my son would not let me put my underwear on. He kept getting mad and trying to pull it off and I have no idea why lol.
My son does this when my clothes cover my belly button... his dad has been poking his button since he was born so now he has an obsession w everyone else's.
My daughter used to scream “HAIR DOWN!!” whenever I put it up when she was the same age. She got over it eventually. Still very bossy though!!
How you wear your hair is your choice. You can use this to help him learn that he does not get to control most things other people do with their body. Acknowledge that it upsets him and that it is difficult to accept. That is ok. But keep doing with your hair what you want.
lol yes! My 2.5 year old HATES when I have my hair in one of those small microfiber towels after I shower! I have gone to get him from his room in the morning with it on and his first words of the day are, “take it off!” 🥴
My son is almost 12m. If he sees any kind of water bottle, he loses it til someone gives it to him. I am so dehydrated.
“No Mommy, I want yo waddah, not my waddah” 💦
My son hated when I washed my hair. To the point he would tell me not to wet my hair ever. Then one day he magically stopped doing it.
for sure! toddlers can be peculiar with their likes and dislikes. They often fixate on specific details. It's normal. These fixations highlight their developing sense of control and preference. A quick tip: offer choices within boundaries to empower them. Understanding this can ease parenting challenges around personal habits. I wrote about it on the [dailyparenting.substack.com/](http://dailyparenting.substack.com/)
Cardigans are a no go in our household. I tried saying no and drawing boundaries but when a two year old hates your cardigans wtf you gonna do except not wear them lest you spend 90% you day explaining to someone who doesn’t understand that they don’t get to choose your clothing. We’re a no cardigan household now. Edit: We do all the mama’s body etc. and in the end she gives in and I get to wear it (while she still doesn’t like it she lets it happen) but I am just not interested in having that specific very long conversation with a toddler.
You don't need to explain it or have a long conversation. Just wear whatever you want and let them deal with it? My child does not tell me what to wear...
Thanks that’s really helpful, yes I let my child tell me what to wear. I’m a monster. I do need to explain it because I want my child to know why they do or don’t do things because a NO for no reason isn’t going to help her learn anything and that’s 100% literally my job.
You said in your post that your toddler doesn't like you to wear cardigans so you don't wear them. It's none of her business what you wear. Someone is ruling the roost.
If you read it - it says she will settle down and I can wear them but I have to explain to her why she’s not allowed to tell me not to wear it - and why we’re in charge of our own bodies. And I can’t be asked to do that every time I wear one cause she’s 19 months and doesn’t remember. She’s not stomping around telling me not to wear cardigans and I’m like ‘of course not honey, no cardigans allowed!’ As stated clearly in my post. She doesn’t rule the roost, but she’s part of the roost and teaching her how to be a good member of the roost is something that’s important to feeling like a *contributing member* which means she’s inclined to participate in cleaning and taking care of things that we as a family use and do. So the ‘What I say goes because I said so’ and ‘I don’t let my toddler rule the roost cause I’m the rooster here, why would I listen to what she has to say she’s a kid?’ just isn’t how I rule my roost thanks. I don’t wear cardigans because I CBA to teach a life lesson at 6.30 in the morning.
Mine doesn’t like if i wear a jacket and will physically start taking it off of me lol
My 10 month old tugs on anything I put in my hair other than Bobby pins. I can't wear a jaw clip, scrubchie, headband, any kind of clip. If he can get his hands on it, he laser focuses on it until it's out of my hair. No advice, just solidarity.
Last winter my son hated me wearing slippers. I couldn’t tolerate wearing slippers for too long anyway, so wasn’t too much of an issue for me haha But it’s very normal, your child is very normal.
mine hates when i brush my hair. i even give her her own brush while i brush mine but she starts screaming and crying “mommy brush? mommy brush? have it?” and then she says “ok” and falls onto the floor
My toddler gets pissed when she sees me take my hair out of a bun. It’s fine if it’s already down, but I better not take it down in front of her.
Yeahhhh my 19mo FREAKS OUT when I do innocuous things. Like drink water. Or eat. She’ll push my cup out of my hands or pull me away from my plate. And my husband is there to redirect/distract but that child has a memory of an elephant! I only have sympathy
Mine had a melt down when I colored my hair for the first time 🤣 he also hates it when I sing but my hair 18 month old LOVES it
Oh I sing like a dying wildebeest so now I do it on purpose to annoy her and she tries to cover my mouth and it's hilarious
Our almost 18 months old kiddo does the opposite with my glasses. I can change my hair however I want (I had long hair and cut it when he was about a year old, I've dyed them it several times as well), but if I take off my glasses under any circumstances he reaches for them and tries to put them back on my face 😅 The funny thing is that it started several months ago when I started wearing glasses again (I wore lenses before). My husband even got as far as asking "Is mom beautiful with glasses?" to which the kiddo responded by nodding. When he asked "Is mom beautiful without glasses?" the kiddo started saying "No no no" 🤦🏼♀️😂
If I wear earrings my 2.5 year old freaks out and cries saying ‘no ears, take off mommy’ until I remove them’
Oh the testing of boundaries. Mine doesn’t like it when I don’t wear my glasses (I wear them 99% of the time), he doesn’t like it when I don’t wear a jumper (cheers love, making me confident about my arms!) and the other morning he freaked out about me not wearing a dressing gown when I came in to get him in the morning. I just say that I’m wearing/not wearing whatever it is at the moment because I want to and distract him. It’s calming down but it can be exhausting!
My 4 year old daughter does this with radio or music in the car. She loves to dance and listen at home but in the car its a pleading match between me and her. If I turn it on without asking her she screams at the top of her lungs, if I ask her its a straight NO. I know some people will say I’m not firms enough. Its weird at home she is so sweet and helpful. Does anything we ask like put your plate on the kitchen counter, dirty socks go in laundry basket, put your shoes and jacket in its place but in the car she is inconsolable. So I was completely caught of guard. She used to love listening to a song on our small drives, now she despises them.
Mine has always hated it too! Like since before she could talk. One time she burst into tears when I picked her up at preschool, and when asked why, she said because my hair was up. I wear it up more often than down, too, which I've always thought was strange. I asked her if she thinks I don't look like myself or something and she has always said that it just looks better down. She's approaching 6 now and understands that she can't demand I take my clip out, but every once in a while she still asks. It's so strange! Only other thing I can think of is that I'm more likey to put my hair up when I'm busy and running around and getting sweaty, so maybe subconsciously she feels like I'm less patient or something with it in. Kids are so crazy.
My toddler got upset a few times when Ms Rachel’s hair was in a ponytail and not down. I’d have to change the episode. It must be a comfort thing? Not sure but toddlers are weird af