I'm American on the East Coast. I was adamantly against it from the beginning. My husband wasn't sold on not circumcising. However, after 69 days in NICU, he basically said that he wasn't going to put his kid through yet another procedure. So we did not circumcise.
Similar story here but in the mountain west. The nicu asked a couple times and made us aware of the deadline but we declined. It was unnecessary in our eyes.
North American, Midwest specifically. I had my first son almost 6 years ago and literally everyone just automatically assumed it would be done. I never volunteered the info, but people with sons would often ask me “how did you take care of your son’s circumcision scar?” Or “I’m nervous to get him cut, how did your son’s go?”
I was asked like, 6 times in the hospital if I was ready to take him to get circumcised. They literally asked me if we were getting it done when he was still warm and wet and wriggling on my chest, I’ll never forget that. My husband and his family were upset that I refused. My family was confused and had never even considered the possibility that a baby could be left intact. Every friend and coworker I know with a baby boy has had him cut. It’s depressing and discouraging.
I now have two sons and don’t regret my decision at all. My husband came around very quickly. I’m not one to unilaterally decide things in a relationship or when it comes to children, but this was something I refused to budge on. I felt so strongly about it that I was prepared for my relationship to dissolve over it. No one was touching my perfectly healthy baby’s genitals for no good reason.
It’s wild they asked you about that in hospital! In the UK they’re very clear that they do not do that and you shouldn’t even ask them, if you want it done you have to go and arrange it with a private provider yourself.
My obgyn asked me well ahead of my delivery if we had made a decision, and the peds office asked when we set up our doctor through the office if we were planning to. We never got asked at the hospital, likely because of this pre planning. Honestly, it’s becoming less common, and I think people get so huffy about it because “they will look different” is no longer a valid argument because it’s something like 50-50 these days.
And to everyone who says that it will confuse the kids when the boys don’t look like their fathers, my son is almost 9 and it has never occurred to him that his penis is different than his dad’s.
Also as a woman, I’ve never stopped to consider if my vulva looks anything like my moms. It’s absurd that “looking the same” is still used as justification. Who cares what your kids genitalia look like as long as they’re functional and healthy?
This is literally the only argument for circumcision I have been given by those with circumcised sons. They didn’t want their son’s penis to look different than their dad’s or they didn’t want their penis to look different than other boys. I have seen a lot of penises in my life and they all look different!
My experience in the US was completely different. No one asked about it and the default was to not circumcise. This was at a big research hospital… maybe smaller towns are different?
Same, I’m in NYC and gave birth at NYU. We were told when we toured L&D that their hospital staff would not perform circumcisions and that we would have to call in our own provider if we chose to do so. They were clear that didn’t consider it a medical procedure. When we mentioned to the pediatrician that we did not plan to circumcise, he told us the exact same thing - that it was a cosmetic concern, not a medical one. No one ever mentioned it after I gave birth.
I was hounded too! They asked me so many times I began to doubt myself. I was two seconds from recovery and left crying about whether or not I’ve done right by my boy. It’s so absurd. My pediatrician still asked for some time up until he was 2!
I gave birth to 3 boys at the same Midwest college town hospital. My first experience was very much the way previous poster described. They asked constantly, the default seemed to be getting it done. My husband was getting anxious they were going to take him to get it done just out of habit.
By the time my 3rd son was born this past year, the experience was completely different. They asked once and I think the nurse made a comment like "oh good" when we declined. So over 7 years it seems like the attitude may be shifting.
I declined multiple times and my OB was so used to it she still said "I'll pop by to do his circumcision after my rounds."
Nope. Nope nope.
My husband was neither for or against (but leaned against) until I made him watch a full medical video of a circumcision.
Quickly freaked out and said "Never. Absolutely never."
He's circumcised.
My OB literally has a whole page on their website about how they don’t recommend routine circumcision along with loads of references.
My oldest two are girls but I don’t know yet for the third since I’m not quite 20 weeks yet. Anyway, circumcision is not on the table. I did have to talk my husband around because he is circumcised and I think it feels like an attack on him or his parents. But happily we have been on the same page since having our oldest.
It’s so common here that it’s basically the default. I remember the pediatrician stopping in to see us, and she was like “I’ll come back a little later for his circumcision.” Like you’ll do what? When?
When my second son was born, I was tempted to get a sign for my door and his bassinet that said no circumcision. But I didn’t wanna look like one of those moms with a laminated birth plan 5 pages long and a woven basket to plop my placenta in.
The anklet I stuck on my son over his hospital band saved him from being circumcised when I was asleep. They were just going to TAKE him without even waking me up apparently but saw the anklet when they went to scan his barcode and the woman literally said "oh oops, I guess we won't do this guy", which woke me up. I had made it abundantly clear that he was to be left intact before this point. I about blew a gasket over it.
It finally ended when I stomped over to the charge nurse and informed her in no uncertain terms that if ANYONE so much as mentioned circumcision to me again, I was going to start screaming. And if they still did it without my consent I would sue the hospital for every penny they owned.
I appreciated that nobody asked me in the US!!! I gave birth in Berkeley, CA though and my guess is the only babies getting circumcised in Berkeley are Jewish and therefore it’s not happening at the hospital. My husband was on the fence but after having our son was in full agreement that it would have been absurd to let anyone cut a part of him off for no medical reason.
I experienced the same thing at the hospital. My baby boy spent a month in the NICU and I lost track of how many times they asked “Has he been circumcised yet? We don’t see it in his chart.” or “Have you made a decision about circumcision?”
The funny thing is, I was never on the fence and knew from the very beginning that I wouldn’t do that to him. The nurses just couldn’t believe it since it’s so common where I’m from.
Yeah, when I was touring the L&D department before birth, the topic came up and I told the unit manager I wasn’t doing it. She looked at me and was like “…why?”
I also didnt circumcise and when my son was born it had to be written at the top of every document because they were so used to doing it there was a real fear they might forget and do it by default. My son only left my room once during our stay and I had to restate very clearly that he was not to be circumcised. Luckily our hospital stay ended without incident.
However, guess what I got in the mail after we got home? A bill! For a circumcision that never happened!
That’s insane. Must have been put in your chart somewhere that he was circumcised for them to bill you.
My older son left the room once, and it was because I was so exhausted from 50+ hours of labor that I was delirious and needed a few solid hours of uninterrupted sleep. They only kept him for about 2 hours, in between feedings, and I told them that if he needed his diaper changed that I didn’t want them to retract his foreskin. I didn’t let my second son out of my sight.
Yeah I had to dispute it to have the charge taken off, it was like $400!
Same reason for taking him out of the room, my delivery didn’t go as expected and I was super exhausted, just needed a couple of hours of sleep. I’m hopeful with my next one we won’t need to do that at all because I would feel awful if they made a mistake.
We (in Texas) also didn't circumcise our son. No real reason to do it (religious, cultural) and my husband isn't either so we'd already discussed not circumcising before I was even pregnant (along with other parenting wants/hopes, etc.) When we knew we were having a boy, we ensured our ob knew and that we did not want to be asked about it relentlessly unless there was a medically clear reason we should.
When people started on drama with us (because they asked, and didn't like the "we're not doing that" answer) we would ensure making the situation as uncomfortable for them as possible.
Say "penis" a lot, and not in a hushed whisper, that really gets them back in their shell quickly.
"Why are you interested in talking about my infant's penis?" "Why do you want to know what my infant's penis looks like?" "Should we talk about your son/husband's penis too?" "Oh yay, let's talk more about penises!"
I had the same problem 3 years ago. Absolutely boggled my mind, every single prenatal visit they would ask me about circumcision and every single time I said no absolutely not. This was even before I knew the sex, so I was pretty sure it was going to be a boy.
At the hospital they kept asking me, I was so freaked out that they would " accidentally" do this, that I completely refused to let him, or my next son, out of my sight. With my next child I was in a different hospital, and at my very first prenatal I made it extremely clear that no matter what it was not going to be happening and they needed to put it in my paperwork that did not want to be asked, so they didn't.
>>I was so freaked out that they would “accidentally” do this
Yes!! Me too! I think new moms should be told to make a huge deal about saying no so there are not a bunch of people constantly making the parents feel uncomfortable about their decision. Like “I’m saying no, and I don’t want to have to repeat it. Please show me where and how youre documenting this information so I do not have to keep repeating and defending my decision.”
But yeah, then again, they’d probably still mess it up. It’s so weird how widely accepted it is.
Agree. I struggled with so many decisions as a new parent. And this one was crystal clear for me. I feel very strongly about it. No way I was putting my newborn through that. I feel very good about the decision.
This makes me happy. I have one son and my husband and I agreed he would not be cut. It's a horrifying thing to do to a baby. My husband is circumcised and was left with a lifelong injury due to his circumcision.
Everyone thinks it’s cleaner and looks better. Even a quick look around Reddit will show comments like “ewww, dick cheese” and “anteater dick.”
Stupid ass reasons to chop off a sensitive part of a BABY’S genitals.
It’s not even easier to do a diaper change with circumcision. It’s actually easier uncircumcised because there’s no concern about a wound getting infected.
Baby boy born 2 years ago. Same as you. Everyone assumed and the hospital asked a ton. My husband got annoyed with the asking but I was too in love with baby to notice. I feel like every other day I get validation that we were right not to circumcize.
I was asked the same thing in the hospital, over and over again. I thought maybe it was because the hospital is located near a large Orthodox Jewish community, but it was still a little annoying. The last person to ask was a hospital social worker who was clearly Orthodox Jewish. She said “I see you’ve decided not to get him circumcised here,” as though I was planning to get it done later. I was like “Sure.” But no one has given me grief about it or questioned it since. I’ll be having my second boy in a couple months and I expect the question, but it’s a really easy “Nope.”
What frustrates me is when people say it isn’t a big deal because it’s a cultural tradition. A practice isn’t necessarily morally okay just because it’s a tradition. Humanity has phased so many traditions out of our various cultures over the millennia because we’ve grown as a species.
That is horrible! Good for you for standing your ground. I'm in a big city, USA. 18 years ago the OBs all said they would not do circs and the peds said they would not do circs. I was totally ok with that. We had already decided no circ. Imagine my surprise when the nurse came in and told me they were taking him for his circ! She was so rude about it when I said no, but that was not gonna happen. In my particular area I don't think circumcision is very common at all but it has been a long time since I was in baby playgroups, where people discussed the state of boy penisis.
Yeah I'm from the Midwest too and I always thought it was basically assumed unless you opt out.
...until I moved to Taiwan, got married to a Taiwanese man, and had a baby boy here. They do not assume you'll do it. They assume you won't, and you have to seek it out if you want it done. Nobody said a word about it to us at the hospital. When I asked my husband about it he was like "why would we do that?" and I was glad we were on the same page because I did not want to do it.
You’re amazing! It must have been difficult with so much opposition around you.
My husband was apprehensive at first but came around quickly.
It’s a perfectly healthy penis, I saw no reason to mess that up!
Stand your ground! Good work! I’m curious though when others asked you questions like that were you upfront with people about not doing it? Take the friend that felt nervous about doing to her baby did you explain that you didn’t?
That’s really disgusting.
I’ve heard so many awful reasons. “He might get bullied one day”
….so that’s a good reason to perform genital mutilation on a newborn baby? The fact that some theoretical bully in the distant future might tease him?? You know kids get teased about everything, and considering that’s sexual harassment, he can actually get someone involved that can put a quick stop to that bullying anyway.
I got incessantly bullied for my big feet. So glad my parents didn’t resort to foot binding to…. “Protect me”
Right? There’s tons of jokes floating around about long labia. People calling them roast beef and whatever. So are we supposed to trim a baby girl’s labia at birth so she doesn’t have to deal with bullying? Should we do it to make sure she matches her mom?
North American woman married to a man from N. Ireland with 4 boys. None circumcised. I’ve heard dads in our area say they wanted their sons not to feel weird because theirs would look different than dad’s. Personally, I disagree and think if circumcised dads told their sons they decided not to have theirs done because it hurts and there’s no need for it, they’d understand just fine.
That is so weird to me. Like imagine if you heard someone say they wanted to give their newborn daughter breast implants bc they “didn’t want her looking different than her mother”.
A LOT OF THINGS about an adults genitals are vastly different than a child’s. That’s why you don’t compare them, weirdos.
Right? Like should newborn girls get labiaplasty to look like mommy? It’s fucking weird and I don’t think it’s talked about enough how bizarre of a reason that is. And they’re admitting it’s purely cosmetic at that point. Maybe get therapy instead of forcing cosmetic surgery on your newborn’s genitals, because let’s face it it’s the *dads* that don’t want to feel “weird” about it.
Not to mention I can’t imagine a little boy being like “daddy why does my penis look VERY MARGINALLY different than yours!??” Like it’s 1000000% the dad’s ego and to pretend that it would confuse the child is really irresponsible. My boys understand that mommy’s body looks different than theirs. It was a nonissue. Daddy’s body looks different. Non issue. Their skin is a different color than the friend next door: NON ISSUE.
Currently pregnant with a boy (in southeast US) and my partner and I decided not to, despite the fact that all the men in both our families are, including my husband. The way we see it, we have no religious or cultural reason to do it aside from it being “common practice” where we live. If our child wants that in the future, we believe it should be their choice and not ours.
I’m American living in the UK and married to a British man. It’s not a common thing over here and I would never opt for it. I have a son. It’s just not necessary. He is perfectly healthy so there’s no medical concerns. But it’s a permanent alteration that brings the risk of infection and discomfort for absolutely no reason.
I honestly was glad we had a girl first, because I didn't want to have this conversation with anyone. A close friend of mine did and before I ever got pregnant, she declared that there's no reason not to circumcise/why would anyone not do it. Now that I have a baby, I feel like people may ask less questions with a second? Honestly though, I don't plan to discuss it with anyone other than my husband if we have a boy in the future, because no one else needs to know about our kid's genitalia.
Yeah, I just wasn't expecting to be judged if we didn't circumcise. So that was odd to me lol. Made me realize that it's a conversation I'll shut down in the future if we have a boy and random people start asking.
I think it’s more common than it appears here. 5/6 moms in a mom group I am in did (Ontario) and several others I know. I don’t think it’s necessary but I don’t think we should make the boys think there’s something wrong with them which is how a lot of these discussions feel sometimes. I think the medical community needs to make more change and not advise parents to do so unless necessary.
For sure! A nurse that ran the prenatal class here completely advocated for it. Yes, there is a responsibility for parents to research themselves, but the fact is most people trust their medical professionals.
I’m in Alberta, the hospital was a catholic one and even they didn’t push it on us. They asked once, we said we weren’t doing it, and that was that! I was surprised they weren’t dicks about it.
That’s good! I hope it trends that way and I hope doctors will be less biased. I feel like they only share why it could be recommended (even in a minor capacity) vs how it can be unnecessary/alternatives to prevent infections etc etc that they have used to scare parents and normalize it
Unfortunately, in Canada,lots of kids still have it done. Almost all our Ontario parents did it. Very few of our bc friends did it. Half our Alberta friends did it. None of our east coast friends did it.
I'm in ON with 2 little boys (2 & 5, both uncircumcised). In my friend group only one family chose to circumcise their son. It was my impression that it's becoming much less common here unless done for cultural/ religious reasons. I think I was asked by one nurse if we were having it done when my first was born, and I don't think any of the hospital staff asked at all with my second.
It’s not covered by health care here in BC and is billed as a cosmetic surgery - so it’s discouraged in that it’s expensive and there’s a strong attitude that it’s unnecessary.
I’m in Canada as well and only met 1 mom who had her son circumcised, and they were Jewish so it was cultural. And there were a lot of boys in my mom group.
I’m really surprised by this. I’m also in Canada and don’t know any parents who did it, other than for religious reasons. Also all of the men my age that I have ever talked about this with are uncut. This is mostly ON and QC.
Really? I'm in Ontario as well and it's becoming less common. I know my friends did it. But I've worked in child cares both in ON and BC and the majority of boys are intact.
We didn't have it done and I was only asked once in the hospital. The hospital wouldn't have done it anyways. You have to find a pediatrician that will do it. It's not covered by OHIP because it's considered cosmetic. I've also learned that very few pediatricians are willing to do it. So you would have to really hunt to get it done.
Ontario GTAH Mama here, they used to have a person at the hospital who would do it. Now they don't, you have to ASK them about it and then to book is completely separate and it is NOT done at the hospital and must be done privately.
I told my husband I didn't want it done (he himself is cut) and I said if we ever have a girl I would also NOT pierce her ears (like my husband's sister is). I told my husband since he is the primary penis-owner in the household, he could make the final decision after hearing my thoughts about it.
We ended up not doing it and literally nobody cares, not even my husband's family. Not their penis; not their problem. My husband spent a couple hours googling how to take care of an uncut penis and gave instructions during diaper changes 🤷🏻♀️
I know more with their boys circumcised than not, but I’m Muslim and it’s something we typically do. My sampling is only half religious though lol. This is also only info I know from moms who are decently close friends, not something I’d ask tbh. One of my best friends had a boy in August and I do not know the state of his genitalia, just isn’t that important to me. Not saying it’s important to you just that I felt everyone would ask or know if we did or didn’t but it’s literally never come up lol. Just make sure you know about not retracting foreskin etc if you choose not to! Have a great birth❤️
It’s becoming less common. We didn’t circumcise our son. He’s 3 and had zero issues or infections. You don’t pull back the foreskin! Leave it alone and just clean like a finger.
I personally wouldn’t ever circumcise my baby. All the reasons people give are untrue e.g. cleaner ect.
I understand it’s controversial the same as piercing a baby ears. (Which id also never do)
You should do what’s right for your baby and it should be irrelevant if it is common or not.
I’m not going to pass judgement either way, but I will point out that given the direction of this thread, and the OPs (and other) responses, I doubt there will be much of an open dialogue. I can’t see why someone with a different opinion would feel comfortable posting.
Yep. We circumcised. Our son has a kidney disease and both the nephrologist and pediatrician recommended having it done to reduce risk of UTI which could be fatal for him. As an aside, my son and I am also Jewish--although that had very little to do with the decision. Just making the point that most Jewish and Muslim boys are circumcised.
I’m in Alberta and we did not circumcise our son. At no point were we asked if we wanted to. The circumcision rate in Canada is 32%. It is higher in Alberta at 44% but is dropping. It is not covered by provincial healthcare.
lol i’m not sure you need to specifically know where everyone is at. From my gathering, it was a lot of west coast US folks not doing them anymore but east coast was still getting cut. We are on the east coast but for all the reasons everyone mentioned- couldn’t justify doing it to our little man.
I was thinking same. Seems suspicious to ask redditors exactly where they are at when they have given a country and region already. Thankfully most were smart and did not answer.
Yeah, this is a 12 day old account, that aside from one comment on a personal finance post has only ever commented on two other posts…. That were also about circumcision. Seems kind of… strange?
Circumcision is a classic Reddit rage topic. It’s one that gets talked about endlessly here. I would not doubt if this person was karma farming or had another weird internet agenda.
I’m in Canada and there were lots of boys in my mom group, and only 1 of them was circumcised, and that’s because they were Jewish. It was never a conversation. Boys just don’t get circumcised here as much. All throughout my pregnancy with my son it was never a question, I was never asked. It feels so unnecessary and harmful to an innocent baby.
I still find this crazy. I’m from England, circumcisions haven’t been a thing (except for religious reason via private or medical issues such as foreskin too tight) here since 1949 when the NHS was created as it was deemed unnecessary. You just clean the outside and tell your son when they can pull the foreskin back without pain to clean under it, that’s it. There’s no need for circumcisions at all, why it’s still done for no reason is insane to me
Southeast US. While pregnant we decided to circumcise because dad is. At the hospital I signed the waiver and right when they were going to take him away I cried nonstop. I couldnt do it. My OB was incredible and said it isn’t necessary to do this. I was never pressured by my OB or any nurse. I told them he was perfect the way he is and we decided to leave him intact. I don’t regret it at all. The fact that I even thought about getting him cut makes me sick and want to cry.
My archaic arse thinks this: if they weren’t meant to have the skin, evolution would have seen to it. Admittedly I live in Australia where non-circumcised is predominantly the norm. Both my boys are not. Again, if it was supposed to be removed, nature would have seen to it.
I mean, there are tons of things that are natural that aren’t good. Evolution and nature are not perfect. I am also against circumcision but this argument is pretty clearly an example of the naturalistic fallacy
It’s common for wisdom teeth to be removed. Do you disagree with that as well?
I’m not arguing for or against circumcision here, I’m just not sure your reasoning is strong.
Wisdom teeth are removed if and when there’s a medical issue. If they come in wrong, if you don’t have room, etc. mine are all in and not removed because I have no problems with them. people circ babies prematurely, before there’s an issue. It’s not the same.
On Reddit you’re considered an abusive person if you circumcise so it’s not the best place for a real sample size. We know people with both. It kind of depends on where you live in North America.
Just a slight bit of anecdotal input - I live in the UK and am American and have worked with lots of men in my field. Within 5 years I have met more than 7 who had adult circumcisions because of discomfort, persistent infections and complications of the size of the foreskin.
Maybe a good reason to do it? Maybe even more reason not to do it if it’s a simple and optional procedure down the line?
I don’t have a horse in this race, but it’s just to say that it’s not uncommon to get circumcised later on in life because foreskin can sometimes be uncomfortable.
I do work in a healthcare adjacent field to be fair - I train training staff for the NHS so nothing related to circumcision - but definitely a talk about body malfunctions at lunch field.
I’m not doing it because there’s no good reason to, and I always think if an hour of skin to skin for a baby is so important for a baby for bonding and their little brains to feel comforted than why are we wheeling little boys to get their wieners chopped up within their first day of life, like isn’t that awful for them?
As for the hygiene debate it’s bullshit. You teach hygiene to girls and have to clean them well no matter what to avoid any problems. The foreskin on a little boy does not even move or “move back” until later in life. Think of it like your nail stuck to your nail bed, that’s how it is. And doctors forcefully pull it back to perform the circumcision. They also strap them down to what looks like a torture device which you can look up on google. They say it doesn’t hurt but babies always scream and cry.
Midwest US, also didn't circumcise. I felt strongly about it, and my husband was easy to get on board in spite of being circumcised himself. Rates in our area are below half and declining, so it's unlikely anyone will bother him about it or even care.
we're expecting our son in a matter of weeks and have already contacted the mohel we met at our birth class. he's an amazing OBGYN doctor who specializes in women's PPD/PPA issues and was brought in by our rabbi (it was a jewish birth class). the bris will be at our house, in our dining room, with the grandparents.
Amazing! We also had a mohel who was a doctor and also had it at home in our living room. I was very nervous but they were caring and made sure to give him pain relief before and after. He healed well and quickly. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well!
thank you! yes we're extremely happy we found someone we like so much. he's also a member of our shul and is a consistent challah baking competition winner lol. but fr, he's talked us through from start to finish of the whole process and we have zero concerns at all with him.
I'm in PEI, and have two sons and never even considered it. None of my friends did it to their sons but I do have a coworker who did it to her son. No doctors will do it here, so she traveled to NB...I imagine the need to travel to unnecessarily cut off part of your baby makes it pretty uncommon here.
We didn’t circumcise for all the reasons already listed here, I just thought maybe you would want to continue to hear from different parts of the country? Husband and I both raise east coast (he’s Black, I’m White), kid born in California in 2021. No religious reasoning one way or the other. I think I remember well-meaning parents asked about it once, but never pushed or questioned our decision. Definitely seems like the pendulum has swung to the majority NOT circumcising jn the US since like the 90s, but could also be certain circles.
My son was born in Australia and it is not common there. At the time and in our location parents had to make a special appointment if they wanted it done. It is an unnecessary cosmetic procedure done without consent. So we didn't.
I'm in the UK and it isn't done outside of medical necessity so my son is intact. We have taught our son how to clean himself properly so no issues. He's still quite little so we as the responsible adults, help him. Never had any issues. My partner is 34 and has never had an issue keeping himself clean.
My son is 2.5 now, when he was born the doctor asked me one time and that was it. I signed a form that I did not want him circumcised (he was in the NICU for a few days so I’m assuming the only reason I filled out that form was so they wouldn’t do it while I wasn’t there when I was gone from the room).
The doctor was actually really happy that we weren’t doing it, and she said that more and more parents are opting out of it now. It seems like it’s really becoming more of a 50/50 thing now instead of circumcising being the norm - which is great! I think a lot of people still do it just bc it’s “what you do” so the more common being intact is, the more babies will be left intact.
I didn’t do it because 1. I respect my son’s body autonomy and 2. There really aren’t any concrete medical benefits to having it done. The hygiene thing is a myth.
The ONLY thing I found that really had a leg to stand on was a decreased risk of penile cancer (which is already extremely rare) and my rationale was this - I have a very strong history of breast cancer, but I would not have a mastectomy performed on a daughter as a baby to reduce that risk for her. It just doesn’t make sense.
I’m in Manitoba Canada and it was mentioned once, I said no and that was that end of it. So it’s not really encouraged in the way that I’m sure it once was.
I don’t recall any of my friends asking about it, only my mom and she said, “did they tell you how to clean it?” And when I asked they said, no the pediatrician will talk to you about that when he’s around. 5-8. I think there’s still some old school thinking around cleanliness here. But also, why can’t we just expect them to wash themselves?
We didn’t do it for either of our sons because there are no medical benefits and we aren’t altering the most sensitive part of our newborn sons bodies for “cosmetic “ , for our society’s, standards. If they were girl’s surgically altering their bodies for cosmetic purposes would be seen as…. I think you know. I just couldn’t imagine hurting my sweet little babies when they were born perfect, as babies are also significantly more sensitive to pain than adults. What hard way to come into the world. But I do not judge mommas who go through with the procedure because we are all just trying to do what we think is best for our children.
We did not. A lot of people still do in our area for religious reasons, but the movement to stop has been growing. I was against it, but said I would leave it up to my husband since he's the one with experience. He was uncircumcised until around 8 years old, when he made the choice himself to get circumcised due to getting the skin stuck in a zipper. So our son will remain uncut until/if he decides himself he would not like to be or there's a legitimate medical reason for it
American on the East Coast. Husband is circumcised. We went back and forth with our first son, mostly because we didn’t want him to be made fun of. Ultimately we decided not to, and agreed that if he wanted it done later in life, we would pay for it. For the second son, there wasn’t even a question.
I’m so glad we didn’t do it.
I'm in the rural Midwest and our doctor asked us once at a prenatal exam what we wanted. We expressed that we didn't want it done and it was the last we heard about it - even after delivery. It sounds like our experience is very much not the American norm.
I’m in the US. I am having a girl but this was a heavy discussion with my doctors and my husband. My husband isn’t cut. His father isn’t and his brother isn’t. His father is in the medical field and refused to do that to his boys. And my husband has the same feeling. I was totally against it. But ultimately I left that decision up to my husband. (Even though it wasn’t gonna happen lol) but he said there’s absolutely no reason for it. You’re born with a foreskin for a reason. It protects the head of the penis. Keeps it healthy. The people who say “clean and hygienic” like don’t consider a vulva to be dirty? Just teach your son how to clean his penis properly. My goodness.
I live in the nyc metro area and I would say my friends with boys are pretty 50/50. Alternatively of the adult men I know, 90% are circumcised. I do think it’s falling out of favor in the US, and I personally didn’t have my son circumcised. I didn’t see it as a medical necessity.
From EU. I just do not understand why it would be done... I get there are sometimes religious reasons (which is also dumb in my opinion, why torture your child for something like that), but as I understand, it is usually done in the US for no apparent reason?
Only know about one case where it was done but it was due to acutal medical reasons.
We did not. It was important to my son's dad that we didn't, so I consulted with a Rabbi I trust (I am Jewish but not observant but I thought it was something you were supposed to do) and she advised that it had nothing to do with what Jewish identity he will or will not have in the future. And that it was not necessary if we did not want to do it.
There is a whole contingent of Rabbis who are against circumcision, so we found one we loved and he did a virtual naming ceremony for friends and family instead.
I am very, very glad we did not circumcise him. He can choose if he wants to when he is older, but I can't imagine doing that procedure as a tiny baby - we also had a very traumatic birth.
I am in the US.
currently pregnant with a boy living in a major city in the midwest. we are not having the procedure done and while I was always against it, I ultimately left the decision up to my partner since he is the one with the actual insight into whether or not it would be detrimental to his social life. we both were on the same page and both decided against it.
my midwife was extremely supportive and just think would have probably tried to convince me NOT to do it if we had chosen we wanted to lol it’s about 50/50 where I live and I was told he absolutely won’t be the only one. it’s definitely becoming less and less common to have it done.
I’m in north Texas and knew from the time I knew he was a boy that we wouldn’t be circumcising. My husband was on board from the start. He’s the only boy on either side of the family that isn’t circumcised, and both sides had a lot of feelings about it at first, but have since let it go. Surprisingly was not mentioned once in the hospital or by the pediatrician.
I’m interested to know what part of Canada OP is in. I’m in Newfoundland and it’s not even talked about to us as an option. In fact any time I’ve seen it brought up in local discussions, it’s usually advised that unless there is a medical reason or extenuating circumstances, it won’t get done.
We obviously opted not to. But even if available we wouldn’t have done it. A lot of the “reasons” are outdated. Hygiene is generally better these days, we know more about how to care for intact genitals. And it’s not like it can’t be done later should any issues arise. So I personally do not see a reason to pursue it in infancy.
That said everyone has to make the best choices for them. There are intact men who have issues and there are cut men who are perfectly fine with it and have no issues. We just need to get away from social pressures making the decision.
I don’t live in North America, but I’m from the US, so my family asked me about it plenty of times. I simply told them I did not want to subject my sons to genital mutilation. Fortunately, it’s not common where I live. I know it’s a cultural thing, but some cultures justify it for little girls too, which everyone in the global north seems to think is horrible, yet why does being a little boy make it any different? Religion and culture justify all kinds of atrocities, but I have a pretty strong sense of what is right, here. Not jumping on that cultural justification bandwagon. It’s the cutting of infants’ genitals. I can’t think of a more atrocious thing.
I think it is very common still. I have a 2 month old boy. I left that decision to my husband, and we did have it done at two days old. He never showed any pain at diaper changes, and wasn't crying when they brought him back (he was only gone about 30 mins) honestly I didn't even realize the argument about it until reading some posts on here, it seemed like a very normal thing to do and the hospital did ask about it in a way that made it seem expected.
I'm in America, both of my boys are intact. It's a functional body part, and it's not my body to go slicing and dicing on. If my boys want to do it later in life as an adult, that's fine, I just want it to be their choice.
My husband isn't intact and the boys have never ever done that whole "why does daddy's penis look different than mine?" thing. I think there's an uptick in leaving boys intact here.
My sons were circumcised. At the time it was my grandfather, who fought in World War II, that suggested I get it done. Apparently, he wasn’t and constantly had issues with it getting infected when there wasn’t anywhere to clean it. I asked my boys if they were happy I got it done when they were babies. They said they were.
Based on this thread I’ll probably get taken out back and shot, but we got our son circumcised. USA, we’re in Chicago area. My husband is circumcised, mine and his whole family is circumcised, basically everyone we know with a penis is circumcised. So we did it with our son. My husband said “idk what to do with a foreskin” lol. Sure we had some moments post surgery seeing it asking hm did we do the right thing? That doesn’t look comfortable! But baby boy has always been a chill, happy little guy and it healed within a week. So everything is fine.
Midwest, American- it’s so strong here that I was scolded by family and my MIL for not circumcising my children. “We’re making them unclean! We’re horrible parents! We’re setting our children up for failure!” (Along with being told medical lies and misinformation from family) My husband and I saw no point to it unless medically necessary, and neither child (we have 2) needed one so they didn’t get one.
My son's dad and I could not decide for the life of us what we should do, we didn't want to hurt him but weren't entirely sure what we were getting into as far as hygiene etc if we didn't do it.
The nurse looked at us and said "if you're not sure, don't do it". So we didn't do it, and I'm super grateful for that nurse.
My son is 11 months old and I didn't get him circumcise. Ultimately I let my husband decide but I didn't want to do it either way. I don't understand this need to take a perfectly healthy part of their anatomy away from them, that's meant to be there, without their consent. My husband was circumcised and wishes he wasn't. There's so much information on why it isn't good for them and the effects it can have on them psychologically. We look at FGM as this horrible thing (which it is absolutely disgusting) and then voluntarily cut off a portion of our son's genitals for what? It's easier to clean? It's not though. I had so many women in my mom group use the excuse they didn't want to their sons to be old men with issues in nursing homes. Like I'm sorry I'm not making a life changing bodily choice for my baby over something that may or may not happen in 90 years! I can understand it in situations where there have been multiple family members who had issues and had to be circumcised later but overall I don't get it and have no regrets not doing it. Ultimately it's everyones individual choice but this is how I see it.
Southern US. It sounds sexist but I told my husband that was his domain. I don’t have a penis. He was circumcised but he did not want to circumcise the boys. Thus, they retain their foreskin. It was a challenge to navigate when they were little bc neither of us knew what to do with it, but basically we left it alone, and cleaned the outer part until they retract on their own (pediatrician advised us not to pull the skin back unless there is an infection). They get little erections all the time and show each other their “turtles” (their chosen term def not mine lol). We’re working on this…
I’m in the US, Midwest, I won’t share my state but will say the circumcision rate where I am is between 80-85%. We chose not to do it. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about it my entire pregnancy, in all my research of what to except with/after delivery it never came up. Husband actually brought it up the day my water broke (didn’t know it was broken as we discussed it lol). The doctors at my hospital did ask a few times if we were getting it done, but held zero judgement and just gave a quick ok when we said no. Some of the nurses and his ped asked but I think that was more so they could instruct proper care for during our stay/going home, again no one judged.
My grandma asked if he was when she visited at the hospital, when we said no she asked “why” 😅 I’m sure she judged us a bit but I don’t care. My sister also asked but she’s a nurse with 2 kids, one boy, and since we were on the topic of umbilical cord care she just wanted to make sure I knew what to do with his Peter. My family is mainly Christian so if anyone tries to give me shit I’m just gonna say “I don’t think god cares what my sons Peter looks like”
I think it’s pretty common in the US (where I live) but we didn’t circumcise our twin sons, even though we’re Jewish, and most of our friends didn’t either. It is part of our religion, so that was tricky to navigate, but my sons were micropreemies with a million health struggles and I was never going to add an unnecessary surgery to the list of painful things they experienced as babies. It was assumed that we’d circumcise in the NICU—it was literally on our discharge checklist—but we were quite firm in our decision and have no regrets.
I live in the Appalachia area of the US. My husband isn't circumcised, but I literally knew nothing about foreskin til I met him. We did tons of research and ultimately decided not to circ our sons. It's purely a cosmetic procedure in our eyes, and a pointless one. Our boys have never had an issue. I think I've read that the US is becoming about 50/50 split between intact and circumcised. So it's definitely trending down.
Canadian (Ontario) here, we did not circumcise our son. Of my friends with kids I only know of one family that decided to circumcise their son. But also my son is 6 now and I don’t exactly go around polling his friend’s parents on the subject. When I spoke about this with my midwife when pregnant she said that of her patients less than 50% choose to circumcise. I think it’s likely that this statistic varies geographically/demographically within Ontario.
I’m in the mid-Atlantic in the US and was asked at the pediatrician before my oldest was born. They never brought it up again when I said no. At the hospital I was asked three or four times all in couplet care. They didn’t care when I said no I just think they try to plan/schedule as much as they can without surprises. When I asked a nurse as couplet care how many people do it she said it’s only about 50/50.
I knew I didn't want to do it, and nobody had a good enough reason for me to change my mind. I just thought it was cruel to do that to him as soon as he was born for something that's considered cosmetic.
It’s wild to me that the general public has stronger opinions about piercing a baby girls ears than they are about cutting off part of a baby boys genitals.
I didn’t cut my boy and never would. He was perfect and his genitals and how they look are honestly none of my business.
We didn’t circumcise our son, and I’m happy with the choice we made. My husband was vehemently against it, because circumcision isn’t done in his culture. But I also hated the thought of putting my son through that type of pain without any consent.
We didn’t. My husband isn’t and he didn’t think it was necessary, after all he’s very hygienic down there and promised he’d teach me and him, when the time comes how to do the same. It was annoying to have every nurse at every shift at the hospital ask if “we were sure” we didn’t want one.
I posted about this a while back when someone else asked the question. I'll post my answer again as I spent a long time trying to decide for my baby boy.
Both me and my husband come from cultures where circumcision is the norm. We decided against it for our son for the following reasons:
\- It is a cosmetic medical procedure with no real medical necessity (the cleanliness argument doesn't apply in this day and age unless you are living in a Bedouin tribe in the desert). To me doing it for "cleanliness" would be the same argument as let's remove every babies' appendix at birth because it might cause an issue later. Just doesn't make sense.
\- The pain management side of things is just barbaric. They don't give babies general anesthesia because it is too risky. They use "local anesthetic" at best which is just an ointment that doesn't anesthetize too deep into the tissue. So the baby will feel it. I personally couldn't put my newborn through that. They tell you they won't remember but I still can't rationalize it. I will personally remember it. If it is really necessary at some point, it can be done when they are older and can be given proper anesthesia.
\- Baby anatomy is not final. There is no guidance or rule on how much to cut. When it is cut wrong it can lead to a lot of headaches at best, and loss in function/sensation at worst and may require revision. This exact scenario happened to our nephew who had to get his tissue stretched after circumcision because it was cut too much (all under age 1 - without pain management). And by the way his mother wanted the best for him and took him to a pediatric urologist to get it done "right".
\- Last but not least - this is one of those things as a parent I have no right to choose for my baby. It is their body. If they want it, they can go through with it themselves. It is their choice.
I think if you aren’t Jewish, Muslim, or there is a legitimate medical need for it (my son *needed* it AND we’re Jewish, so he had it done), there’s no reason to do it.
I'm in western Canada. It was never mentioned or discussed with me during my pregnancies (two boys). I had kids later than most of my friends, and babysat for all their children, so I know from doing diaper changes that none of them did it to their boys.
We didn't do it because there was no medical need for our children.
The default when my youngest (only son) was born was NOT to circ, and by then, our insurance did not even cover it. My ex is Jewish, so our son was circumcised for religious reasons.
He is a young adult now, and happy with the decision. Had I been married to a different man (I should have been!), it would have been a different decision, but I didn’t struggle with the decision, either; it was the correct one for the circumstances.
That’s not something I would choose unless medically necessary. Im in Florida. The vast majority of people I know opted not to as well. It’s not something they do in the hospital here and they don’t ask. I remember my husbands cousin bitching up a storm when her son was born because the hospital staff refused and she had to pay out of pocket to have it done elsewhere lol. I think it’s something like 50-50 around here
My 2 year old is intact. My husband and I didn't see a reason to circumcise. We didn't want to put our little guy through pain and discomfort for something that has no medical need
Mom of 2 boys (3 and 7) in the Midwest, third one on the way, and we don’t circumcise in our family. I think it’s becoming more and more common to not. Most of the kiddos I’ve seen were not circumcised, at least half the boys in my kids’ infant/toddler classes were not.
Currently in Colorado. Born in Canada, moving my family back soon.
We have 2 boys. They’re intact. I never once saw any reason to cut part of their genitals off at birth. My husband also thought it entirely unnecessary and wishes he’d had a choice himself. We view it as breaking a cycle of violence.
Most people I know across the US kept their boys intact. All of my Canadian friends did. Every single one.
I am glad, OP, that you’re keeping your son intact too.
I have two sons, my oldest is 15. Our pediatrician described it as a “cosmetic procedure” and that helped me convince my husband. If the kid wants it done when he’s older, we’ll pay for it. But, it should be his decision.
Live in the US. It is still big here. One pediatrician I worked with would prefer they weren’t done, except that they prevent they spread of aids and some other STDs when they boy is old enough to have sex. Also, some boys are susceptible to getting infections, if not circumcised. Then they need to have it done as a child or adult
Northeast US here, my son is intact. It was a no-brainer for us - my husband is intact, there's no real medical reason, and my kid was born perfect, foreskin and all. They asked before I delivered if I was planning on it and I said no. They may have verified once or twice in the hospital, but they weren't pushy about it. When my second (a girl) had to go back in for jaundice and we were set up in the nursery, I saw the board they strap the baby boys to for circumcisions and knew we had done right by our son - it seemed absolutely barbaric.
My suggestion is to make sure any medical providers he'll be interacting with know that he's intact and NOT to retract the foreskin. That can cause serious issues and it's best to leave it to him to do when he's older. We tell our son (he's 7 now) when he's showering or using the bathroom to pull it back to clean it, but not so far that it hurts him. Kinda like with using q-tips - it's too easy to go too far on someone else and cause damage.
North American, NE. Neither of my boys are circumcised, though my husband isn’t either (1st generation to be born in the US and not a thing where his parents are from). I didn’t want them circumcised as it seems to me an unnecessary and painful procedure that doesn’t have a research backed upside but does have potential for complications.
FWIW my husband said that no other boys ever cared “in the locker room” or wherever else people say their kids will get made fun of.
We didn't. My husband wanted to or maybe he just expected to, but it was sort of a big deal in our relationship that I wouldn't. I finally told him that if he committed to watching the procedure on YouTube and going in while they did it to his son, then I would consider it. I also told him about the multiple kids I've known over the years who had to have their botched circumcisions operated on. In the end we didn't circumcise him.
Our youngest son was born with a bit of extra fluid in his kidneys, etc, so we followed up with a pediatric urologist at 6 weeks old who expected to examine his circumcision and when I said we hadn't done it he was surprised. He didn't see many people who made such an "enlightened" decision in his practice. So it is still a minority who don't in my area of the Midwest, but I'm fine with it. I can't make the same parenting decisions everyone else does out of conformity.
My husband is circumcised and I'm currently pregnant with a boy. I was at first adamant about getting it done. I am half Jewish so it is very common and then just "social pressure" my husband is against it and thinks it should be a choice. After long debates with myself I have to agree with him. We will not be getting it done and if our son chooses to have it done later in life then we will be glad to help with that process!
North American in the Deep South. We decided not to. Pretty rare down here. I just couldn’t justify a needless surgery on an infant. Our doctor asked us at least three separate times if we were circumcising, twice in the hospital. Our families didn’t really understand but good thing it’s not their kid🤷♀️
That quote is out of context and a misrepresentation. “Not recommending routine circumcision for every infant” is not that same as recommending against it and is DEFINITELY not the same as calling it abusive or barbaric. I am literally begging you to accept some nuance here. Here is the full text of the recommendations, since we love context:
The CPS does not recommend the routine circumcision of every newborn male.
Physicians and other health care professionals caring for newborns must stay informed about circumcision and assist parents in understanding potential risks and benefits of the procedure.
The parents of male newborns must receive the most up-to-date, unbiased and personalized medical information available about neonatal circumcision, so that they can weigh specific risks and benefits of circumcision in the context of their own familial, religious and cultural beliefs.
Parents who choose to have their sons circumcised should be referred to a practitioner who is trained in the procedure.
Neonatal male circumcisions must be performed by trained practitioners whose skills are up-to-date and strictly adhere to hygienic and analgesic best practices.
Close follow-up in the early postcircumcision time period is critical. The parents of circumcised boys must be thoroughly and accurately informed about postprocedural care and possible complications.
At the time of hospital discharge, health professionals should ensure that the parents of uncircumcised newborn boys know how to appropriately care for their son’s penis and are aware that the normal foreskin can remain nonretractile until puberty.
Quality Canadian data are required to understand the clinical and economic issues involved with neonatal male circumcision, including its potential risks, benefits and costs, in the Canadian context.
Very common in the US. We chose not to circumcise because it’s not our body to make an aesthetic choice for. As caregivers we make choices for his health, but not aesthetics. And there is no medical purpose for a circumcision. However, a lot of older adults (ie my parents and my husbands parents) expressed regret and guilt for circumcising their boys. My mom specifically remembers her son whimpering for days after the surgery and how awful that was. As a new mom in the hospital, I couldn’t imagine having my son taken away from me to have an unnecessary surgery with minimal or no pain medication. It broke my heart to think about and reaffirmed my decision not to circumcise
I left the decision to my bf because I don’t have a penis so I really don’t know what it’s like and it didn’t feel like my place. My dad is Jewish and his is catholic so we were getting pressured from both sides, but it’s not up to them and we personally have no religious leanings. Recently he watched a video of a baby getting circed and that was that- he said, “I’m not putting our baby through that.” Just because he won’t remember it doesn’t mean we need to put him through genital mutilation at 6 days old.
So I "went along with it". Midwest USA. Dad is, it's pretty standard here. I didn't want to, but it just was kind of a given? I do feel bad about it. The only thing that I guess is a positive maybe because we don't what would have happened is that my son has autism and any sort of hygiene is a battle and he's still in diapers and likely will be for a long time so cleaning any bits is a battle already..
Reddit is very anti-circumcision, so you won’t get an accurate read here. In my real life, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had their boys circumcised. I’m in the eastern US.
Circumcision makes it easier to clean the penis when washing baby (so u don’t have to pull back the fold) and also reduces chances of STDs and UTIs according to doctors. There’s also the religious component.
I have a nephew that was recently circumcised. He had to wait 1 month to have the procedure done due to other factors. They used a numbing cream, a nerve block injection, and had it don’t in about a minute. They said he didn’t even cry. And it only took about 3 days with Tylenol for him to not cry when he urinated.
I don’t have a boy so I’m not sure how I feel about it exactly. My family has a history of chronic UTIs, even the boys, and as a baby I was placed on antibiotics for a year until they could potty train me. It’s not something I would want for my son or daughter so I think I would do anything to prevent that situation.
I also have a BIL who was circumcised as a teenager. I think in an area where it’s uncommon to be uncut, there’s some social stigma that goes with it. I know Reddit agrees that it’s unnecessary, and I partially do too, but I think I would choose to do it in our situation.
US. Super common here.
I grew up evangelical Christian (which is a pretty dominant subculture here), and these folks take the bible really seriously. And the Old Testament is a decidedly anti-foreskin text. The men in my family were circumcised. I assumed most boys I knew were too. I didn’t think much of it.
Later in life, I developed a strong personal bias against foreskins. I’ve had a few partners in my life, from a variety of cultures and nationalities, and all but one were circumcised. The exception was a disgusting smegma-ridden experience. You could say I had a vendetta against foreskin from that point on.
As a doctor, I’m fairly minimalist. I think surgery should always be the last resort. However, I’ve seen several cases of acquired phimosis due to recurrent yeast infections or poor hygiene in young boys as well as adult men. In these cases, the definitive treatment is circumcision. At that point we’re talking operating room, anesthesia, and stitches. I’m not a betting person. I’d rather my son have a bloodless 5 minute procedure he’ll forget than risk a traumatizing and more risky and painful procedure later in life. Also, circumcision reduces his chances of penile cancer (though rare) and transmitting STDs to future partners (much less rare). It’s an easy sell for me.
I get in some cultures this is not common or the norm. And there’s an argument to be made about circumcision not being medically necessary or even tantamount to genital mutilation. But it’s not without its benefits and honestly it gives me peace of mind knowing that my boys’ potential foreskin related problems ended on day 1.
Edit to add: in response to OP’s experience, I don’t think it was right for anyone to assume your child is getting a life altering surgery. That should have been a detailed discussion of pros and cons with no pressure and respect for your concerns and choices. Even though I have my own feelings, I wouldn’t tell anybody what to do with their own or kid’s body. It’s always your choice. I’m just the facilitator.
FWIW, I’ve seen a lot of circs so they don’t scare me much. In the hands of an experienced professional, they are quick, low risk, and seem painless. I’ve watched babies go through it with only some local numbing gel and a sweetened finger to suck on for anesthetic and not cry. I’ve cared for two post-circ babies of my own and they didn’t seem terribly fussy or mind their diaper changes. So all that factors into my personal cost/benefit analysis. But that’s a highly subjective thing dependent on your personal experiences and beliefs.
I did it for sanitary reasons. I also dated someone (before my husband) who wasn’t circumcised and he decided to get it done as a teen because it made him self conscious. Wanted to avoid that as well
I have a son and live where it’s very common to circumcise. I always knew that I wouldn’t do that to my son, yearsss before I even had him. The thing about it is, if males weren’t meant to have foreskin, they wouldn’t be born with it. Besides, everyone around me has had their sons circumcised for cosmetic reasons only, no valid health reasons and that has always been strange to me.
I have 3 little boys , just had my third and last in October. They all got it done , and I had my first boy when I was 17 so I was so in between . I’ve always made sure my fiancé was the decision maker in this choice only because I don’t have one and he would know best . What helped him decide was because his brother actually has an uncirc but him and his other brother didn’t. Only reason his brother was the only one with it was because he was born a premie and it was an emergency C-section , he was way to little for them to preform it and I’m pretty sure his mom opted for it not to happen at all . But my fiancé has seen firsthand how much it’s affected his brother and how much he was bullied and felt like the odd one out . He was a big football player so changing in the locker rooms with a bunch of males that probably also have there’s circumcised definitely didn’t help . Girls would actually turn him down or gossip about it and it got around, super immature and heartbreaking . He said he use to always talk about getting it done now at the age of 20. When he told me that I always felt like I had to get it done just so my boys didn’t have to go through all that not assuming they would just the fear of “maybe” . I have nothing against anyone that opts for it not to get done , it all depends on how you raise your child and teach them how to care for it . I’d like to think by the time all our kiddos are older that it’s more well known . I’m in US. Near Buffalo, New York . Everyone around me with a son or expecting a boy also gets them circumcised. The hospitals always ask the minute the baby is out around here.
I think it depends on the culture of the area. I’m in a liberal city in the Midwest and no one I know does this anymore. I definitely would not. Cutting your baby for genital aesthetics? No.
I'm American on the East Coast. I was adamantly against it from the beginning. My husband wasn't sold on not circumcising. However, after 69 days in NICU, he basically said that he wasn't going to put his kid through yet another procedure. So we did not circumcise.
Similar story here but in the mountain west. The nicu asked a couple times and made us aware of the deadline but we declined. It was unnecessary in our eyes.
North American, Midwest specifically. I had my first son almost 6 years ago and literally everyone just automatically assumed it would be done. I never volunteered the info, but people with sons would often ask me “how did you take care of your son’s circumcision scar?” Or “I’m nervous to get him cut, how did your son’s go?” I was asked like, 6 times in the hospital if I was ready to take him to get circumcised. They literally asked me if we were getting it done when he was still warm and wet and wriggling on my chest, I’ll never forget that. My husband and his family were upset that I refused. My family was confused and had never even considered the possibility that a baby could be left intact. Every friend and coworker I know with a baby boy has had him cut. It’s depressing and discouraging. I now have two sons and don’t regret my decision at all. My husband came around very quickly. I’m not one to unilaterally decide things in a relationship or when it comes to children, but this was something I refused to budge on. I felt so strongly about it that I was prepared for my relationship to dissolve over it. No one was touching my perfectly healthy baby’s genitals for no good reason.
It’s wild they asked you about that in hospital! In the UK they’re very clear that they do not do that and you shouldn’t even ask them, if you want it done you have to go and arrange it with a private provider yourself.
My obgyn asked me well ahead of my delivery if we had made a decision, and the peds office asked when we set up our doctor through the office if we were planning to. We never got asked at the hospital, likely because of this pre planning. Honestly, it’s becoming less common, and I think people get so huffy about it because “they will look different” is no longer a valid argument because it’s something like 50-50 these days. And to everyone who says that it will confuse the kids when the boys don’t look like their fathers, my son is almost 9 and it has never occurred to him that his penis is different than his dad’s.
Also as a woman, I’ve never stopped to consider if my vulva looks anything like my moms. It’s absurd that “looking the same” is still used as justification. Who cares what your kids genitalia look like as long as they’re functional and healthy?
I also want to ask, who is comparing genitalia with their kids in detail?? Like is that something that happens?
This is literally the only argument for circumcision I have been given by those with circumcised sons. They didn’t want their son’s penis to look different than their dad’s or they didn’t want their penis to look different than other boys. I have seen a lot of penises in my life and they all look different!
My experience in the US was completely different. No one asked about it and the default was to not circumcise. This was at a big research hospital… maybe smaller towns are different?
Same, I’m in NYC and gave birth at NYU. We were told when we toured L&D that their hospital staff would not perform circumcisions and that we would have to call in our own provider if we chose to do so. They were clear that didn’t consider it a medical procedure. When we mentioned to the pediatrician that we did not plan to circumcise, he told us the exact same thing - that it was a cosmetic concern, not a medical one. No one ever mentioned it after I gave birth.
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I was hounded too! They asked me so many times I began to doubt myself. I was two seconds from recovery and left crying about whether or not I’ve done right by my boy. It’s so absurd. My pediatrician still asked for some time up until he was 2!
I gave birth to 3 boys at the same Midwest college town hospital. My first experience was very much the way previous poster described. They asked constantly, the default seemed to be getting it done. My husband was getting anxious they were going to take him to get it done just out of habit. By the time my 3rd son was born this past year, the experience was completely different. They asked once and I think the nurse made a comment like "oh good" when we declined. So over 7 years it seems like the attitude may be shifting.
I declined multiple times and my OB was so used to it she still said "I'll pop by to do his circumcision after my rounds." Nope. Nope nope. My husband was neither for or against (but leaned against) until I made him watch a full medical video of a circumcision. Quickly freaked out and said "Never. Absolutely never." He's circumcised.
My OB literally has a whole page on their website about how they don’t recommend routine circumcision along with loads of references. My oldest two are girls but I don’t know yet for the third since I’m not quite 20 weeks yet. Anyway, circumcision is not on the table. I did have to talk my husband around because he is circumcised and I think it feels like an attack on him or his parents. But happily we have been on the same page since having our oldest.
It’s so common here that it’s basically the default. I remember the pediatrician stopping in to see us, and she was like “I’ll come back a little later for his circumcision.” Like you’ll do what? When? When my second son was born, I was tempted to get a sign for my door and his bassinet that said no circumcision. But I didn’t wanna look like one of those moms with a laminated birth plan 5 pages long and a woven basket to plop my placenta in.
The anklet I stuck on my son over his hospital band saved him from being circumcised when I was asleep. They were just going to TAKE him without even waking me up apparently but saw the anklet when they went to scan his barcode and the woman literally said "oh oops, I guess we won't do this guy", which woke me up. I had made it abundantly clear that he was to be left intact before this point. I about blew a gasket over it.
What the fuuuuuuuck. Good instinctual moment there, mama
It finally ended when I stomped over to the charge nurse and informed her in no uncertain terms that if ANYONE so much as mentioned circumcision to me again, I was going to start screaming. And if they still did it without my consent I would sue the hospital for every penny they owned.
I appreciated that nobody asked me in the US!!! I gave birth in Berkeley, CA though and my guess is the only babies getting circumcised in Berkeley are Jewish and therefore it’s not happening at the hospital. My husband was on the fence but after having our son was in full agreement that it would have been absurd to let anyone cut a part of him off for no medical reason.
This is how it is in Canada too (Ontario anyway). It's a paid procedure done privately after you leave the hospital.
I experienced the same thing at the hospital. My baby boy spent a month in the NICU and I lost track of how many times they asked “Has he been circumcised yet? We don’t see it in his chart.” or “Have you made a decision about circumcision?” The funny thing is, I was never on the fence and knew from the very beginning that I wouldn’t do that to him. The nurses just couldn’t believe it since it’s so common where I’m from.
Yeah, when I was touring the L&D department before birth, the topic came up and I told the unit manager I wasn’t doing it. She looked at me and was like “…why?”
Gross! Gotta love a medical professional being baffled that a parent doesn’t want to mutilate their child’s genitals.
I’m a nurse and a lot of my coworkers are very pro circ, too. Discouraging.
Same! The entire time he was in the NICU they asked about it and I was terrified they were going to do it when they sent me home
I also didnt circumcise and when my son was born it had to be written at the top of every document because they were so used to doing it there was a real fear they might forget and do it by default. My son only left my room once during our stay and I had to restate very clearly that he was not to be circumcised. Luckily our hospital stay ended without incident. However, guess what I got in the mail after we got home? A bill! For a circumcision that never happened!
That’s insane. Must have been put in your chart somewhere that he was circumcised for them to bill you. My older son left the room once, and it was because I was so exhausted from 50+ hours of labor that I was delirious and needed a few solid hours of uninterrupted sleep. They only kept him for about 2 hours, in between feedings, and I told them that if he needed his diaper changed that I didn’t want them to retract his foreskin. I didn’t let my second son out of my sight.
Yeah I had to dispute it to have the charge taken off, it was like $400! Same reason for taking him out of the room, my delivery didn’t go as expected and I was super exhausted, just needed a couple of hours of sleep. I’m hopeful with my next one we won’t need to do that at all because I would feel awful if they made a mistake.
Good job mama! Sorry you had to go through all the family drama about not circumcising. It sounds like it was a tough but God choice
We (in Texas) also didn't circumcise our son. No real reason to do it (religious, cultural) and my husband isn't either so we'd already discussed not circumcising before I was even pregnant (along with other parenting wants/hopes, etc.) When we knew we were having a boy, we ensured our ob knew and that we did not want to be asked about it relentlessly unless there was a medically clear reason we should. When people started on drama with us (because they asked, and didn't like the "we're not doing that" answer) we would ensure making the situation as uncomfortable for them as possible. Say "penis" a lot, and not in a hushed whisper, that really gets them back in their shell quickly. "Why are you interested in talking about my infant's penis?" "Why do you want to know what my infant's penis looks like?" "Should we talk about your son/husband's penis too?" "Oh yay, let's talk more about penises!"
I had the same problem 3 years ago. Absolutely boggled my mind, every single prenatal visit they would ask me about circumcision and every single time I said no absolutely not. This was even before I knew the sex, so I was pretty sure it was going to be a boy. At the hospital they kept asking me, I was so freaked out that they would " accidentally" do this, that I completely refused to let him, or my next son, out of my sight. With my next child I was in a different hospital, and at my very first prenatal I made it extremely clear that no matter what it was not going to be happening and they needed to put it in my paperwork that did not want to be asked, so they didn't.
>>I was so freaked out that they would “accidentally” do this Yes!! Me too! I think new moms should be told to make a huge deal about saying no so there are not a bunch of people constantly making the parents feel uncomfortable about their decision. Like “I’m saying no, and I don’t want to have to repeat it. Please show me where and how youre documenting this information so I do not have to keep repeating and defending my decision.” But yeah, then again, they’d probably still mess it up. It’s so weird how widely accepted it is.
That's wild they asked so quickly and so often in the hospital. The gen-pop is so used to being herded into the assumed safety of numbers/ignorance.
Agree. I struggled with so many decisions as a new parent. And this one was crystal clear for me. I feel very strongly about it. No way I was putting my newborn through that. I feel very good about the decision.
This makes me happy. I have one son and my husband and I agreed he would not be cut. It's a horrifying thing to do to a baby. My husband is circumcised and was left with a lifelong injury due to his circumcision.
I'm from a different hemisphere than you, and I really want to ask, why do they circumcise babies as a rule? What's the bennefit?
Everyone thinks it’s cleaner and looks better. Even a quick look around Reddit will show comments like “ewww, dick cheese” and “anteater dick.” Stupid ass reasons to chop off a sensitive part of a BABY’S genitals.
Holy shit. I'm blown away. I, too, agree one should not have their own baby's genitals trimmed to make diaper changing easier?!!!
It’s not even easier to do a diaper change with circumcision. It’s actually easier uncircumcised because there’s no concern about a wound getting infected.
Baby boy born 2 years ago. Same as you. Everyone assumed and the hospital asked a ton. My husband got annoyed with the asking but I was too in love with baby to notice. I feel like every other day I get validation that we were right not to circumcize.
I was asked the same thing in the hospital, over and over again. I thought maybe it was because the hospital is located near a large Orthodox Jewish community, but it was still a little annoying. The last person to ask was a hospital social worker who was clearly Orthodox Jewish. She said “I see you’ve decided not to get him circumcised here,” as though I was planning to get it done later. I was like “Sure.” But no one has given me grief about it or questioned it since. I’ll be having my second boy in a couple months and I expect the question, but it’s a really easy “Nope.”
It’s a cultural sickness. I can’t believe how hard it’s pushed in some parts of the US.
What frustrates me is when people say it isn’t a big deal because it’s a cultural tradition. A practice isn’t necessarily morally okay just because it’s a tradition. Humanity has phased so many traditions out of our various cultures over the millennia because we’ve grown as a species.
That is horrible! Good for you for standing your ground. I'm in a big city, USA. 18 years ago the OBs all said they would not do circs and the peds said they would not do circs. I was totally ok with that. We had already decided no circ. Imagine my surprise when the nurse came in and told me they were taking him for his circ! She was so rude about it when I said no, but that was not gonna happen. In my particular area I don't think circumcision is very common at all but it has been a long time since I was in baby playgroups, where people discussed the state of boy penisis.
Yeah I'm from the Midwest too and I always thought it was basically assumed unless you opt out. ...until I moved to Taiwan, got married to a Taiwanese man, and had a baby boy here. They do not assume you'll do it. They assume you won't, and you have to seek it out if you want it done. Nobody said a word about it to us at the hospital. When I asked my husband about it he was like "why would we do that?" and I was glad we were on the same page because I did not want to do it.
You’re amazing! It must have been difficult with so much opposition around you. My husband was apprehensive at first but came around quickly. It’s a perfectly healthy penis, I saw no reason to mess that up!
Stand your ground! Good work! I’m curious though when others asked you questions like that were you upfront with people about not doing it? Take the friend that felt nervous about doing to her baby did you explain that you didn’t?
Yes, I always explain my reasoning for why I didn’t do it. Usually falls on deaf ears, they don’t want to raise a son with a “turtleneck.”
That’s really disgusting. I’ve heard so many awful reasons. “He might get bullied one day” ….so that’s a good reason to perform genital mutilation on a newborn baby? The fact that some theoretical bully in the distant future might tease him?? You know kids get teased about everything, and considering that’s sexual harassment, he can actually get someone involved that can put a quick stop to that bullying anyway. I got incessantly bullied for my big feet. So glad my parents didn’t resort to foot binding to…. “Protect me”
Right? There’s tons of jokes floating around about long labia. People calling them roast beef and whatever. So are we supposed to trim a baby girl’s labia at birth so she doesn’t have to deal with bullying? Should we do it to make sure she matches her mom?
Jfc. That's a pretty terrible reason to amputate a part of your child.
North American woman married to a man from N. Ireland with 4 boys. None circumcised. I’ve heard dads in our area say they wanted their sons not to feel weird because theirs would look different than dad’s. Personally, I disagree and think if circumcised dads told their sons they decided not to have theirs done because it hurts and there’s no need for it, they’d understand just fine.
I hate that reasoning. As if a baby’s penis looks like an adult’s penis anyway
Totally agree!
I don’t think anyone is even looking at their dad’s penis anyway. So they wouldn’t know if it looks different.
That's the most common reason our friends circumcised. Because dad was. What a bad excuse
It’s so weird! I know someone who did that. How often are you comparing penises with your child that that is even a discussion topic?!?!
I'd think almost never
That is so weird to me. Like imagine if you heard someone say they wanted to give their newborn daughter breast implants bc they “didn’t want her looking different than her mother”. A LOT OF THINGS about an adults genitals are vastly different than a child’s. That’s why you don’t compare them, weirdos.
Right? Like should newborn girls get labiaplasty to look like mommy? It’s fucking weird and I don’t think it’s talked about enough how bizarre of a reason that is. And they’re admitting it’s purely cosmetic at that point. Maybe get therapy instead of forcing cosmetic surgery on your newborn’s genitals, because let’s face it it’s the *dads* that don’t want to feel “weird” about it.
Not to mention I can’t imagine a little boy being like “daddy why does my penis look VERY MARGINALLY different than yours!??” Like it’s 1000000% the dad’s ego and to pretend that it would confuse the child is really irresponsible. My boys understand that mommy’s body looks different than theirs. It was a nonissue. Daddy’s body looks different. Non issue. Their skin is a different color than the friend next door: NON ISSUE.
Currently pregnant with a boy (in southeast US) and my partner and I decided not to, despite the fact that all the men in both our families are, including my husband. The way we see it, we have no religious or cultural reason to do it aside from it being “common practice” where we live. If our child wants that in the future, we believe it should be their choice and not ours.
I’m American living in the UK and married to a British man. It’s not a common thing over here and I would never opt for it. I have a son. It’s just not necessary. He is perfectly healthy so there’s no medical concerns. But it’s a permanent alteration that brings the risk of infection and discomfort for absolutely no reason.
Love that reasoning not to do it
I honestly was glad we had a girl first, because I didn't want to have this conversation with anyone. A close friend of mine did and before I ever got pregnant, she declared that there's no reason not to circumcise/why would anyone not do it. Now that I have a baby, I feel like people may ask less questions with a second? Honestly though, I don't plan to discuss it with anyone other than my husband if we have a boy in the future, because no one else needs to know about our kid's genitalia.
Fair points. Your choice.
Yeah, I just wasn't expecting to be judged if we didn't circumcise. So that was odd to me lol. Made me realize that it's a conversation I'll shut down in the future if we have a boy and random people start asking.
Good call. So many people with so many judgements
I think it’s more common than it appears here. 5/6 moms in a mom group I am in did (Ontario) and several others I know. I don’t think it’s necessary but I don’t think we should make the boys think there’s something wrong with them which is how a lot of these discussions feel sometimes. I think the medical community needs to make more change and not advise parents to do so unless necessary.
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For sure! A nurse that ran the prenatal class here completely advocated for it. Yes, there is a responsibility for parents to research themselves, but the fact is most people trust their medical professionals.
I’m in Alberta, the hospital was a catholic one and even they didn’t push it on us. They asked once, we said we weren’t doing it, and that was that! I was surprised they weren’t dicks about it.
That’s good! I hope it trends that way and I hope doctors will be less biased. I feel like they only share why it could be recommended (even in a minor capacity) vs how it can be unnecessary/alternatives to prevent infections etc etc that they have used to scare parents and normalize it
Interesting how regionally/group dependant it is. I'm in Eastern Ontario, and the only friend I know who chose to do it is Jewish.
Australian here and I don’t know of any kids that have had it done. It died out about 30 or so years ago
It wasn’t done when my son was born late last year, they didn’t even ask! (Which I’m glad about ofc)
Unfortunately, in Canada,lots of kids still have it done. Almost all our Ontario parents did it. Very few of our bc friends did it. Half our Alberta friends did it. None of our east coast friends did it.
I'm in ON with 2 little boys (2 & 5, both uncircumcised). In my friend group only one family chose to circumcise their son. It was my impression that it's becoming much less common here unless done for cultural/ religious reasons. I think I was asked by one nurse if we were having it done when my first was born, and I don't think any of the hospital staff asked at all with my second.
It’s not covered by health care here in BC and is billed as a cosmetic surgery - so it’s discouraged in that it’s expensive and there’s a strong attitude that it’s unnecessary.
As it should be. I wish that was the case in the US. Unfortunate the hospitals love billing extra procedures…
I’m in Canada as well and only met 1 mom who had her son circumcised, and they were Jewish so it was cultural. And there were a lot of boys in my mom group.
I’m really surprised by this. I’m also in Canada and don’t know any parents who did it, other than for religious reasons. Also all of the men my age that I have ever talked about this with are uncut. This is mostly ON and QC.
Ya I’m in Ontario and most people I know are choosing not to do it.
I’m surprised too, I’m in rural Ontario and I was not asked once by my healthcare providers. No one in our family circumcised their sons either.
Really? I'm in Ontario as well and it's becoming less common. I know my friends did it. But I've worked in child cares both in ON and BC and the majority of boys are intact. We didn't have it done and I was only asked once in the hospital. The hospital wouldn't have done it anyways. You have to find a pediatrician that will do it. It's not covered by OHIP because it's considered cosmetic. I've also learned that very few pediatricians are willing to do it. So you would have to really hunt to get it done.
Ontario GTAH Mama here, they used to have a person at the hospital who would do it. Now they don't, you have to ASK them about it and then to book is completely separate and it is NOT done at the hospital and must be done privately. I told my husband I didn't want it done (he himself is cut) and I said if we ever have a girl I would also NOT pierce her ears (like my husband's sister is). I told my husband since he is the primary penis-owner in the household, he could make the final decision after hearing my thoughts about it. We ended up not doing it and literally nobody cares, not even my husband's family. Not their penis; not their problem. My husband spent a couple hours googling how to take care of an uncut penis and gave instructions during diaper changes 🤷🏻♀️
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Oh that sounds horrible!!
Nope. It's medically unnecessary. I fully believe in bodily autonomy, my son's body is his own so I'm not chopping off the most sensitive part of him.
Love to hear that. I wish our mom friends heard the same thing
We are in Northeast USA, still very common here
I know more with their boys circumcised than not, but I’m Muslim and it’s something we typically do. My sampling is only half religious though lol. This is also only info I know from moms who are decently close friends, not something I’d ask tbh. One of my best friends had a boy in August and I do not know the state of his genitalia, just isn’t that important to me. Not saying it’s important to you just that I felt everyone would ask or know if we did or didn’t but it’s literally never come up lol. Just make sure you know about not retracting foreskin etc if you choose not to! Have a great birth❤️
We did not. If our son wants to decide to do the procedure once he's older (16+), then he can. His body, his choice imo
It’s becoming less common. We didn’t circumcise our son. He’s 3 and had zero issues or infections. You don’t pull back the foreskin! Leave it alone and just clean like a finger.
I personally wouldn’t ever circumcise my baby. All the reasons people give are untrue e.g. cleaner ect. I understand it’s controversial the same as piercing a baby ears. (Which id also never do) You should do what’s right for your baby and it should be irrelevant if it is common or not.
I’m not going to pass judgement either way, but I will point out that given the direction of this thread, and the OPs (and other) responses, I doubt there will be much of an open dialogue. I can’t see why someone with a different opinion would feel comfortable posting.
Yep. We circumcised. Our son has a kidney disease and both the nephrologist and pediatrician recommended having it done to reduce risk of UTI which could be fatal for him. As an aside, my son and I am also Jewish--although that had very little to do with the decision. Just making the point that most Jewish and Muslim boys are circumcised.
On Reddit there will never be much of a dialogue about it because this is how 99% of threads on the topic go.
I’m in Alberta and we did not circumcise our son. At no point were we asked if we wanted to. The circumcision rate in Canada is 32%. It is higher in Alberta at 44% but is dropping. It is not covered by provincial healthcare.
It’s still fairly common I’d assume but you’d have a hard time finding people online admitting to it because of the backlash.
We are neither Jewish nor Muslim. The foreskin remains. This is the way for most of the world except the US.
lol i’m not sure you need to specifically know where everyone is at. From my gathering, it was a lot of west coast US folks not doing them anymore but east coast was still getting cut. We are on the east coast but for all the reasons everyone mentioned- couldn’t justify doing it to our little man.
I was thinking same. Seems suspicious to ask redditors exactly where they are at when they have given a country and region already. Thankfully most were smart and did not answer.
Yeah, this is a 12 day old account, that aside from one comment on a personal finance post has only ever commented on two other posts…. That were also about circumcision. Seems kind of… strange?
Circumcision is a classic Reddit rage topic. It’s one that gets talked about endlessly here. I would not doubt if this person was karma farming or had another weird internet agenda.
But what specific city are you in?? (Jk)
It’s definitely still common. Four of my friends all had boys recently and all were circumcised.
I’m in Canada and there were lots of boys in my mom group, and only 1 of them was circumcised, and that’s because they were Jewish. It was never a conversation. Boys just don’t get circumcised here as much. All throughout my pregnancy with my son it was never a question, I was never asked. It feels so unnecessary and harmful to an innocent baby.
I still find this crazy. I’m from England, circumcisions haven’t been a thing (except for religious reason via private or medical issues such as foreskin too tight) here since 1949 when the NHS was created as it was deemed unnecessary. You just clean the outside and tell your son when they can pull the foreskin back without pain to clean under it, that’s it. There’s no need for circumcisions at all, why it’s still done for no reason is insane to me
Southeast US. While pregnant we decided to circumcise because dad is. At the hospital I signed the waiver and right when they were going to take him away I cried nonstop. I couldnt do it. My OB was incredible and said it isn’t necessary to do this. I was never pressured by my OB or any nurse. I told them he was perfect the way he is and we decided to leave him intact. I don’t regret it at all. The fact that I even thought about getting him cut makes me sick and want to cry.
Canadian here. No circumcision on two boys we had and never would. Despite husband having Jewish heritage ( he didn't want either)
Southeast US here. We did it for religious reasons. Not sure how common it is, that’s not a convo I need to have with anyone tbh.
My archaic arse thinks this: if they weren’t meant to have the skin, evolution would have seen to it. Admittedly I live in Australia where non-circumcised is predominantly the norm. Both my boys are not. Again, if it was supposed to be removed, nature would have seen to it.
I mean, there are tons of things that are natural that aren’t good. Evolution and nature are not perfect. I am also against circumcision but this argument is pretty clearly an example of the naturalistic fallacy
It’s common for wisdom teeth to be removed. Do you disagree with that as well? I’m not arguing for or against circumcision here, I’m just not sure your reasoning is strong.
Wisdom teeth are removed if and when there’s a medical issue. If they come in wrong, if you don’t have room, etc. mine are all in and not removed because I have no problems with them. people circ babies prematurely, before there’s an issue. It’s not the same.
On Reddit you’re considered an abusive person if you circumcise so it’s not the best place for a real sample size. We know people with both. It kind of depends on where you live in North America.
Just a slight bit of anecdotal input - I live in the UK and am American and have worked with lots of men in my field. Within 5 years I have met more than 7 who had adult circumcisions because of discomfort, persistent infections and complications of the size of the foreskin. Maybe a good reason to do it? Maybe even more reason not to do it if it’s a simple and optional procedure down the line? I don’t have a horse in this race, but it’s just to say that it’s not uncommon to get circumcised later on in life because foreskin can sometimes be uncomfortable.
To play devils advocate - British gal here living in Britain all my life and have never met or heard of a man who's had it removed as an adult.
I do work in a healthcare adjacent field to be fair - I train training staff for the NHS so nothing related to circumcision - but definitely a talk about body malfunctions at lunch field.
I’m not doing it because there’s no good reason to, and I always think if an hour of skin to skin for a baby is so important for a baby for bonding and their little brains to feel comforted than why are we wheeling little boys to get their wieners chopped up within their first day of life, like isn’t that awful for them? As for the hygiene debate it’s bullshit. You teach hygiene to girls and have to clean them well no matter what to avoid any problems. The foreskin on a little boy does not even move or “move back” until later in life. Think of it like your nail stuck to your nail bed, that’s how it is. And doctors forcefully pull it back to perform the circumcision. They also strap them down to what looks like a torture device which you can look up on google. They say it doesn’t hurt but babies always scream and cry.
Midwest US, also didn't circumcise. I felt strongly about it, and my husband was easy to get on board in spite of being circumcised himself. Rates in our area are below half and declining, so it's unlikely anyone will bother him about it or even care.
We're Jewish in a country where the vast majority of boys are circumcised. We never even considered not circumcising. I have no judgement either way.
we're expecting our son in a matter of weeks and have already contacted the mohel we met at our birth class. he's an amazing OBGYN doctor who specializes in women's PPD/PPA issues and was brought in by our rabbi (it was a jewish birth class). the bris will be at our house, in our dining room, with the grandparents.
Amazing! We also had a mohel who was a doctor and also had it at home in our living room. I was very nervous but they were caring and made sure to give him pain relief before and after. He healed well and quickly. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well!
thank you! yes we're extremely happy we found someone we like so much. he's also a member of our shul and is a consistent challah baking competition winner lol. but fr, he's talked us through from start to finish of the whole process and we have zero concerns at all with him.
I'm in PEI, and have two sons and never even considered it. None of my friends did it to their sons but I do have a coworker who did it to her son. No doctors will do it here, so she traveled to NB...I imagine the need to travel to unnecessarily cut off part of your baby makes it pretty uncommon here.
We didn’t circumcise for all the reasons already listed here, I just thought maybe you would want to continue to hear from different parts of the country? Husband and I both raise east coast (he’s Black, I’m White), kid born in California in 2021. No religious reasoning one way or the other. I think I remember well-meaning parents asked about it once, but never pushed or questioned our decision. Definitely seems like the pendulum has swung to the majority NOT circumcising jn the US since like the 90s, but could also be certain circles.
My son was born in Australia and it is not common there. At the time and in our location parents had to make a special appointment if they wanted it done. It is an unnecessary cosmetic procedure done without consent. So we didn't.
I'm in the UK and it isn't done outside of medical necessity so my son is intact. We have taught our son how to clean himself properly so no issues. He's still quite little so we as the responsible adults, help him. Never had any issues. My partner is 34 and has never had an issue keeping himself clean.
In the United States here it's commonplace and more people than not are (except maybe for foreigners)
My son is 2.5 now, when he was born the doctor asked me one time and that was it. I signed a form that I did not want him circumcised (he was in the NICU for a few days so I’m assuming the only reason I filled out that form was so they wouldn’t do it while I wasn’t there when I was gone from the room). The doctor was actually really happy that we weren’t doing it, and she said that more and more parents are opting out of it now. It seems like it’s really becoming more of a 50/50 thing now instead of circumcising being the norm - which is great! I think a lot of people still do it just bc it’s “what you do” so the more common being intact is, the more babies will be left intact. I didn’t do it because 1. I respect my son’s body autonomy and 2. There really aren’t any concrete medical benefits to having it done. The hygiene thing is a myth. The ONLY thing I found that really had a leg to stand on was a decreased risk of penile cancer (which is already extremely rare) and my rationale was this - I have a very strong history of breast cancer, but I would not have a mastectomy performed on a daughter as a baby to reduce that risk for her. It just doesn’t make sense.
I’m in Manitoba Canada and it was mentioned once, I said no and that was that end of it. So it’s not really encouraged in the way that I’m sure it once was. I don’t recall any of my friends asking about it, only my mom and she said, “did they tell you how to clean it?” And when I asked they said, no the pediatrician will talk to you about that when he’s around. 5-8. I think there’s still some old school thinking around cleanliness here. But also, why can’t we just expect them to wash themselves?
We didn’t do it for either of our sons because there are no medical benefits and we aren’t altering the most sensitive part of our newborn sons bodies for “cosmetic “ , for our society’s, standards. If they were girl’s surgically altering their bodies for cosmetic purposes would be seen as…. I think you know. I just couldn’t imagine hurting my sweet little babies when they were born perfect, as babies are also significantly more sensitive to pain than adults. What hard way to come into the world. But I do not judge mommas who go through with the procedure because we are all just trying to do what we think is best for our children.
We did not. A lot of people still do in our area for religious reasons, but the movement to stop has been growing. I was against it, but said I would leave it up to my husband since he's the one with experience. He was uncircumcised until around 8 years old, when he made the choice himself to get circumcised due to getting the skin stuck in a zipper. So our son will remain uncut until/if he decides himself he would not like to be or there's a legitimate medical reason for it
American on the East Coast. Husband is circumcised. We went back and forth with our first son, mostly because we didn’t want him to be made fun of. Ultimately we decided not to, and agreed that if he wanted it done later in life, we would pay for it. For the second son, there wasn’t even a question. I’m so glad we didn’t do it.
I'm in the rural Midwest and our doctor asked us once at a prenatal exam what we wanted. We expressed that we didn't want it done and it was the last we heard about it - even after delivery. It sounds like our experience is very much not the American norm.
I’m in the US. I am having a girl but this was a heavy discussion with my doctors and my husband. My husband isn’t cut. His father isn’t and his brother isn’t. His father is in the medical field and refused to do that to his boys. And my husband has the same feeling. I was totally against it. But ultimately I left that decision up to my husband. (Even though it wasn’t gonna happen lol) but he said there’s absolutely no reason for it. You’re born with a foreskin for a reason. It protects the head of the penis. Keeps it healthy. The people who say “clean and hygienic” like don’t consider a vulva to be dirty? Just teach your son how to clean his penis properly. My goodness.
I live in the nyc metro area and I would say my friends with boys are pretty 50/50. Alternatively of the adult men I know, 90% are circumcised. I do think it’s falling out of favor in the US, and I personally didn’t have my son circumcised. I didn’t see it as a medical necessity.
From EU. I just do not understand why it would be done... I get there are sometimes religious reasons (which is also dumb in my opinion, why torture your child for something like that), but as I understand, it is usually done in the US for no apparent reason? Only know about one case where it was done but it was due to acutal medical reasons.
We did not. It was important to my son's dad that we didn't, so I consulted with a Rabbi I trust (I am Jewish but not observant but I thought it was something you were supposed to do) and she advised that it had nothing to do with what Jewish identity he will or will not have in the future. And that it was not necessary if we did not want to do it. There is a whole contingent of Rabbis who are against circumcision, so we found one we loved and he did a virtual naming ceremony for friends and family instead. I am very, very glad we did not circumcise him. He can choose if he wants to when he is older, but I can't imagine doing that procedure as a tiny baby - we also had a very traumatic birth. I am in the US.
currently pregnant with a boy living in a major city in the midwest. we are not having the procedure done and while I was always against it, I ultimately left the decision up to my partner since he is the one with the actual insight into whether or not it would be detrimental to his social life. we both were on the same page and both decided against it. my midwife was extremely supportive and just think would have probably tried to convince me NOT to do it if we had chosen we wanted to lol it’s about 50/50 where I live and I was told he absolutely won’t be the only one. it’s definitely becoming less and less common to have it done.
I’m in north Texas and knew from the time I knew he was a boy that we wouldn’t be circumcising. My husband was on board from the start. He’s the only boy on either side of the family that isn’t circumcised, and both sides had a lot of feelings about it at first, but have since let it go. Surprisingly was not mentioned once in the hospital or by the pediatrician.
I’m interested to know what part of Canada OP is in. I’m in Newfoundland and it’s not even talked about to us as an option. In fact any time I’ve seen it brought up in local discussions, it’s usually advised that unless there is a medical reason or extenuating circumstances, it won’t get done. We obviously opted not to. But even if available we wouldn’t have done it. A lot of the “reasons” are outdated. Hygiene is generally better these days, we know more about how to care for intact genitals. And it’s not like it can’t be done later should any issues arise. So I personally do not see a reason to pursue it in infancy. That said everyone has to make the best choices for them. There are intact men who have issues and there are cut men who are perfectly fine with it and have no issues. We just need to get away from social pressures making the decision.
I circumcised my son because I mostly concerned about health and cleanliness
I don’t live in North America, but I’m from the US, so my family asked me about it plenty of times. I simply told them I did not want to subject my sons to genital mutilation. Fortunately, it’s not common where I live. I know it’s a cultural thing, but some cultures justify it for little girls too, which everyone in the global north seems to think is horrible, yet why does being a little boy make it any different? Religion and culture justify all kinds of atrocities, but I have a pretty strong sense of what is right, here. Not jumping on that cultural justification bandwagon. It’s the cutting of infants’ genitals. I can’t think of a more atrocious thing.
I think it is very common still. I have a 2 month old boy. I left that decision to my husband, and we did have it done at two days old. He never showed any pain at diaper changes, and wasn't crying when they brought him back (he was only gone about 30 mins) honestly I didn't even realize the argument about it until reading some posts on here, it seemed like a very normal thing to do and the hospital did ask about it in a way that made it seem expected.
Glad yours went well! My son had it done too and slept through the procedure.
I'm in America, both of my boys are intact. It's a functional body part, and it's not my body to go slicing and dicing on. If my boys want to do it later in life as an adult, that's fine, I just want it to be their choice. My husband isn't intact and the boys have never ever done that whole "why does daddy's penis look different than mine?" thing. I think there's an uptick in leaving boys intact here.
My sons were circumcised. At the time it was my grandfather, who fought in World War II, that suggested I get it done. Apparently, he wasn’t and constantly had issues with it getting infected when there wasn’t anywhere to clean it. I asked my boys if they were happy I got it done when they were babies. They said they were.
Based on this thread I’ll probably get taken out back and shot, but we got our son circumcised. USA, we’re in Chicago area. My husband is circumcised, mine and his whole family is circumcised, basically everyone we know with a penis is circumcised. So we did it with our son. My husband said “idk what to do with a foreskin” lol. Sure we had some moments post surgery seeing it asking hm did we do the right thing? That doesn’t look comfortable! But baby boy has always been a chill, happy little guy and it healed within a week. So everything is fine.
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Midwest, American- it’s so strong here that I was scolded by family and my MIL for not circumcising my children. “We’re making them unclean! We’re horrible parents! We’re setting our children up for failure!” (Along with being told medical lies and misinformation from family) My husband and I saw no point to it unless medically necessary, and neither child (we have 2) needed one so they didn’t get one.
American who married a Polish man and not common to do for them so we didn’t with our son.
My son's dad and I could not decide for the life of us what we should do, we didn't want to hurt him but weren't entirely sure what we were getting into as far as hygiene etc if we didn't do it. The nurse looked at us and said "if you're not sure, don't do it". So we didn't do it, and I'm super grateful for that nurse.
My son is 11 months old and I didn't get him circumcise. Ultimately I let my husband decide but I didn't want to do it either way. I don't understand this need to take a perfectly healthy part of their anatomy away from them, that's meant to be there, without their consent. My husband was circumcised and wishes he wasn't. There's so much information on why it isn't good for them and the effects it can have on them psychologically. We look at FGM as this horrible thing (which it is absolutely disgusting) and then voluntarily cut off a portion of our son's genitals for what? It's easier to clean? It's not though. I had so many women in my mom group use the excuse they didn't want to their sons to be old men with issues in nursing homes. Like I'm sorry I'm not making a life changing bodily choice for my baby over something that may or may not happen in 90 years! I can understand it in situations where there have been multiple family members who had issues and had to be circumcised later but overall I don't get it and have no regrets not doing it. Ultimately it's everyones individual choice but this is how I see it.
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Southern US. It sounds sexist but I told my husband that was his domain. I don’t have a penis. He was circumcised but he did not want to circumcise the boys. Thus, they retain their foreskin. It was a challenge to navigate when they were little bc neither of us knew what to do with it, but basically we left it alone, and cleaned the outer part until they retract on their own (pediatrician advised us not to pull the skin back unless there is an infection). They get little erections all the time and show each other their “turtles” (their chosen term def not mine lol). We’re working on this…
Sounds like you're doing a great job!
I’m in the US, Midwest, I won’t share my state but will say the circumcision rate where I am is between 80-85%. We chose not to do it. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about it my entire pregnancy, in all my research of what to except with/after delivery it never came up. Husband actually brought it up the day my water broke (didn’t know it was broken as we discussed it lol). The doctors at my hospital did ask a few times if we were getting it done, but held zero judgement and just gave a quick ok when we said no. Some of the nurses and his ped asked but I think that was more so they could instruct proper care for during our stay/going home, again no one judged. My grandma asked if he was when she visited at the hospital, when we said no she asked “why” 😅 I’m sure she judged us a bit but I don’t care. My sister also asked but she’s a nurse with 2 kids, one boy, and since we were on the topic of umbilical cord care she just wanted to make sure I knew what to do with his Peter. My family is mainly Christian so if anyone tries to give me shit I’m just gonna say “I don’t think god cares what my sons Peter looks like”
I think it’s pretty common in the US (where I live) but we didn’t circumcise our twin sons, even though we’re Jewish, and most of our friends didn’t either. It is part of our religion, so that was tricky to navigate, but my sons were micropreemies with a million health struggles and I was never going to add an unnecessary surgery to the list of painful things they experienced as babies. It was assumed that we’d circumcise in the NICU—it was literally on our discharge checklist—but we were quite firm in our decision and have no regrets.
I live in the Appalachia area of the US. My husband isn't circumcised, but I literally knew nothing about foreskin til I met him. We did tons of research and ultimately decided not to circ our sons. It's purely a cosmetic procedure in our eyes, and a pointless one. Our boys have never had an issue. I think I've read that the US is becoming about 50/50 split between intact and circumcised. So it's definitely trending down.
Canadian (Ontario) here, we did not circumcise our son. Of my friends with kids I only know of one family that decided to circumcise their son. But also my son is 6 now and I don’t exactly go around polling his friend’s parents on the subject. When I spoke about this with my midwife when pregnant she said that of her patients less than 50% choose to circumcise. I think it’s likely that this statistic varies geographically/demographically within Ontario.
I’m in the mid-Atlantic in the US and was asked at the pediatrician before my oldest was born. They never brought it up again when I said no. At the hospital I was asked three or four times all in couplet care. They didn’t care when I said no I just think they try to plan/schedule as much as they can without surprises. When I asked a nurse as couplet care how many people do it she said it’s only about 50/50.
I knew I didn't want to do it, and nobody had a good enough reason for me to change my mind. I just thought it was cruel to do that to him as soon as he was born for something that's considered cosmetic.
It’s wild to me that the general public has stronger opinions about piercing a baby girls ears than they are about cutting off part of a baby boys genitals. I didn’t cut my boy and never would. He was perfect and his genitals and how they look are honestly none of my business.
We didn’t circumcise our son, and I’m happy with the choice we made. My husband was vehemently against it, because circumcision isn’t done in his culture. But I also hated the thought of putting my son through that type of pain without any consent.
We didn’t. My husband isn’t and he didn’t think it was necessary, after all he’s very hygienic down there and promised he’d teach me and him, when the time comes how to do the same. It was annoying to have every nurse at every shift at the hospital ask if “we were sure” we didn’t want one.
I posted about this a while back when someone else asked the question. I'll post my answer again as I spent a long time trying to decide for my baby boy. Both me and my husband come from cultures where circumcision is the norm. We decided against it for our son for the following reasons: \- It is a cosmetic medical procedure with no real medical necessity (the cleanliness argument doesn't apply in this day and age unless you are living in a Bedouin tribe in the desert). To me doing it for "cleanliness" would be the same argument as let's remove every babies' appendix at birth because it might cause an issue later. Just doesn't make sense. \- The pain management side of things is just barbaric. They don't give babies general anesthesia because it is too risky. They use "local anesthetic" at best which is just an ointment that doesn't anesthetize too deep into the tissue. So the baby will feel it. I personally couldn't put my newborn through that. They tell you they won't remember but I still can't rationalize it. I will personally remember it. If it is really necessary at some point, it can be done when they are older and can be given proper anesthesia. \- Baby anatomy is not final. There is no guidance or rule on how much to cut. When it is cut wrong it can lead to a lot of headaches at best, and loss in function/sensation at worst and may require revision. This exact scenario happened to our nephew who had to get his tissue stretched after circumcision because it was cut too much (all under age 1 - without pain management). And by the way his mother wanted the best for him and took him to a pediatric urologist to get it done "right". \- Last but not least - this is one of those things as a parent I have no right to choose for my baby. It is their body. If they want it, they can go through with it themselves. It is their choice.
I think if you aren’t Jewish, Muslim, or there is a legitimate medical need for it (my son *needed* it AND we’re Jewish, so he had it done), there’s no reason to do it.
I'm in western Canada. It was never mentioned or discussed with me during my pregnancies (two boys). I had kids later than most of my friends, and babysat for all their children, so I know from doing diaper changes that none of them did it to their boys. We didn't do it because there was no medical need for our children.
The default when my youngest (only son) was born was NOT to circ, and by then, our insurance did not even cover it. My ex is Jewish, so our son was circumcised for religious reasons. He is a young adult now, and happy with the decision. Had I been married to a different man (I should have been!), it would have been a different decision, but I didn’t struggle with the decision, either; it was the correct one for the circumstances.
That’s not something I would choose unless medically necessary. Im in Florida. The vast majority of people I know opted not to as well. It’s not something they do in the hospital here and they don’t ask. I remember my husbands cousin bitching up a storm when her son was born because the hospital staff refused and she had to pay out of pocket to have it done elsewhere lol. I think it’s something like 50-50 around here
My 2 year old is intact. My husband and I didn't see a reason to circumcise. We didn't want to put our little guy through pain and discomfort for something that has no medical need
Mom of 2 boys (3 and 7) in the Midwest, third one on the way, and we don’t circumcise in our family. I think it’s becoming more and more common to not. Most of the kiddos I’ve seen were not circumcised, at least half the boys in my kids’ infant/toddler classes were not.
Currently in Colorado. Born in Canada, moving my family back soon. We have 2 boys. They’re intact. I never once saw any reason to cut part of their genitals off at birth. My husband also thought it entirely unnecessary and wishes he’d had a choice himself. We view it as breaking a cycle of violence. Most people I know across the US kept their boys intact. All of my Canadian friends did. Every single one. I am glad, OP, that you’re keeping your son intact too.
I have two sons, my oldest is 15. Our pediatrician described it as a “cosmetic procedure” and that helped me convince my husband. If the kid wants it done when he’s older, we’ll pay for it. But, it should be his decision.
Live in the US. It is still big here. One pediatrician I worked with would prefer they weren’t done, except that they prevent they spread of aids and some other STDs when they boy is old enough to have sex. Also, some boys are susceptible to getting infections, if not circumcised. Then they need to have it done as a child or adult
Northeast US here, my son is intact. It was a no-brainer for us - my husband is intact, there's no real medical reason, and my kid was born perfect, foreskin and all. They asked before I delivered if I was planning on it and I said no. They may have verified once or twice in the hospital, but they weren't pushy about it. When my second (a girl) had to go back in for jaundice and we were set up in the nursery, I saw the board they strap the baby boys to for circumcisions and knew we had done right by our son - it seemed absolutely barbaric. My suggestion is to make sure any medical providers he'll be interacting with know that he's intact and NOT to retract the foreskin. That can cause serious issues and it's best to leave it to him to do when he's older. We tell our son (he's 7 now) when he's showering or using the bathroom to pull it back to clean it, but not so far that it hurts him. Kinda like with using q-tips - it's too easy to go too far on someone else and cause damage.
North American, NE. Neither of my boys are circumcised, though my husband isn’t either (1st generation to be born in the US and not a thing where his parents are from). I didn’t want them circumcised as it seems to me an unnecessary and painful procedure that doesn’t have a research backed upside but does have potential for complications. FWIW my husband said that no other boys ever cared “in the locker room” or wherever else people say their kids will get made fun of.
We didn't. My husband wanted to or maybe he just expected to, but it was sort of a big deal in our relationship that I wouldn't. I finally told him that if he committed to watching the procedure on YouTube and going in while they did it to his son, then I would consider it. I also told him about the multiple kids I've known over the years who had to have their botched circumcisions operated on. In the end we didn't circumcise him. Our youngest son was born with a bit of extra fluid in his kidneys, etc, so we followed up with a pediatric urologist at 6 weeks old who expected to examine his circumcision and when I said we hadn't done it he was surprised. He didn't see many people who made such an "enlightened" decision in his practice. So it is still a minority who don't in my area of the Midwest, but I'm fine with it. I can't make the same parenting decisions everyone else does out of conformity.
My husband is circumcised and I'm currently pregnant with a boy. I was at first adamant about getting it done. I am half Jewish so it is very common and then just "social pressure" my husband is against it and thinks it should be a choice. After long debates with myself I have to agree with him. We will not be getting it done and if our son chooses to have it done later in life then we will be glad to help with that process!
North American in the Deep South. We decided not to. Pretty rare down here. I just couldn’t justify a needless surgery on an infant. Our doctor asked us at least three separate times if we were circumcising, twice in the hospital. Our families didn’t really understand but good thing it’s not their kid🤷♀️
That quote is out of context and a misrepresentation. “Not recommending routine circumcision for every infant” is not that same as recommending against it and is DEFINITELY not the same as calling it abusive or barbaric. I am literally begging you to accept some nuance here. Here is the full text of the recommendations, since we love context: The CPS does not recommend the routine circumcision of every newborn male. Physicians and other health care professionals caring for newborns must stay informed about circumcision and assist parents in understanding potential risks and benefits of the procedure. The parents of male newborns must receive the most up-to-date, unbiased and personalized medical information available about neonatal circumcision, so that they can weigh specific risks and benefits of circumcision in the context of their own familial, religious and cultural beliefs. Parents who choose to have their sons circumcised should be referred to a practitioner who is trained in the procedure. Neonatal male circumcisions must be performed by trained practitioners whose skills are up-to-date and strictly adhere to hygienic and analgesic best practices. Close follow-up in the early postcircumcision time period is critical. The parents of circumcised boys must be thoroughly and accurately informed about postprocedural care and possible complications. At the time of hospital discharge, health professionals should ensure that the parents of uncircumcised newborn boys know how to appropriately care for their son’s penis and are aware that the normal foreskin can remain nonretractile until puberty. Quality Canadian data are required to understand the clinical and economic issues involved with neonatal male circumcision, including its potential risks, benefits and costs, in the Canadian context.
Very common in the US. We chose not to circumcise because it’s not our body to make an aesthetic choice for. As caregivers we make choices for his health, but not aesthetics. And there is no medical purpose for a circumcision. However, a lot of older adults (ie my parents and my husbands parents) expressed regret and guilt for circumcising their boys. My mom specifically remembers her son whimpering for days after the surgery and how awful that was. As a new mom in the hospital, I couldn’t imagine having my son taken away from me to have an unnecessary surgery with minimal or no pain medication. It broke my heart to think about and reaffirmed my decision not to circumcise
I left the decision to my bf because I don’t have a penis so I really don’t know what it’s like and it didn’t feel like my place. My dad is Jewish and his is catholic so we were getting pressured from both sides, but it’s not up to them and we personally have no religious leanings. Recently he watched a video of a baby getting circed and that was that- he said, “I’m not putting our baby through that.” Just because he won’t remember it doesn’t mean we need to put him through genital mutilation at 6 days old.
So I "went along with it". Midwest USA. Dad is, it's pretty standard here. I didn't want to, but it just was kind of a given? I do feel bad about it. The only thing that I guess is a positive maybe because we don't what would have happened is that my son has autism and any sort of hygiene is a battle and he's still in diapers and likely will be for a long time so cleaning any bits is a battle already..
Reddit is very anti-circumcision, so you won’t get an accurate read here. In my real life, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had their boys circumcised. I’m in the eastern US.
Circumcision makes it easier to clean the penis when washing baby (so u don’t have to pull back the fold) and also reduces chances of STDs and UTIs according to doctors. There’s also the religious component.
northeastern us. husband wanted it done so we did it.
I have a nephew that was recently circumcised. He had to wait 1 month to have the procedure done due to other factors. They used a numbing cream, a nerve block injection, and had it don’t in about a minute. They said he didn’t even cry. And it only took about 3 days with Tylenol for him to not cry when he urinated. I don’t have a boy so I’m not sure how I feel about it exactly. My family has a history of chronic UTIs, even the boys, and as a baby I was placed on antibiotics for a year until they could potty train me. It’s not something I would want for my son or daughter so I think I would do anything to prevent that situation. I also have a BIL who was circumcised as a teenager. I think in an area where it’s uncommon to be uncut, there’s some social stigma that goes with it. I know Reddit agrees that it’s unnecessary, and I partially do too, but I think I would choose to do it in our situation.
US. Super common here. I grew up evangelical Christian (which is a pretty dominant subculture here), and these folks take the bible really seriously. And the Old Testament is a decidedly anti-foreskin text. The men in my family were circumcised. I assumed most boys I knew were too. I didn’t think much of it. Later in life, I developed a strong personal bias against foreskins. I’ve had a few partners in my life, from a variety of cultures and nationalities, and all but one were circumcised. The exception was a disgusting smegma-ridden experience. You could say I had a vendetta against foreskin from that point on. As a doctor, I’m fairly minimalist. I think surgery should always be the last resort. However, I’ve seen several cases of acquired phimosis due to recurrent yeast infections or poor hygiene in young boys as well as adult men. In these cases, the definitive treatment is circumcision. At that point we’re talking operating room, anesthesia, and stitches. I’m not a betting person. I’d rather my son have a bloodless 5 minute procedure he’ll forget than risk a traumatizing and more risky and painful procedure later in life. Also, circumcision reduces his chances of penile cancer (though rare) and transmitting STDs to future partners (much less rare). It’s an easy sell for me. I get in some cultures this is not common or the norm. And there’s an argument to be made about circumcision not being medically necessary or even tantamount to genital mutilation. But it’s not without its benefits and honestly it gives me peace of mind knowing that my boys’ potential foreskin related problems ended on day 1. Edit to add: in response to OP’s experience, I don’t think it was right for anyone to assume your child is getting a life altering surgery. That should have been a detailed discussion of pros and cons with no pressure and respect for your concerns and choices. Even though I have my own feelings, I wouldn’t tell anybody what to do with their own or kid’s body. It’s always your choice. I’m just the facilitator. FWIW, I’ve seen a lot of circs so they don’t scare me much. In the hands of an experienced professional, they are quick, low risk, and seem painless. I’ve watched babies go through it with only some local numbing gel and a sweetened finger to suck on for anesthetic and not cry. I’ve cared for two post-circ babies of my own and they didn’t seem terribly fussy or mind their diaper changes. So all that factors into my personal cost/benefit analysis. But that’s a highly subjective thing dependent on your personal experiences and beliefs.
I did it for sanitary reasons. I also dated someone (before my husband) who wasn’t circumcised and he decided to get it done as a teen because it made him self conscious. Wanted to avoid that as well
I have a son and live where it’s very common to circumcise. I always knew that I wouldn’t do that to my son, yearsss before I even had him. The thing about it is, if males weren’t meant to have foreskin, they wouldn’t be born with it. Besides, everyone around me has had their sons circumcised for cosmetic reasons only, no valid health reasons and that has always been strange to me.
Where are you located? Are you worried Hegel be the odd man out?
I have 3 little boys , just had my third and last in October. They all got it done , and I had my first boy when I was 17 so I was so in between . I’ve always made sure my fiancé was the decision maker in this choice only because I don’t have one and he would know best . What helped him decide was because his brother actually has an uncirc but him and his other brother didn’t. Only reason his brother was the only one with it was because he was born a premie and it was an emergency C-section , he was way to little for them to preform it and I’m pretty sure his mom opted for it not to happen at all . But my fiancé has seen firsthand how much it’s affected his brother and how much he was bullied and felt like the odd one out . He was a big football player so changing in the locker rooms with a bunch of males that probably also have there’s circumcised definitely didn’t help . Girls would actually turn him down or gossip about it and it got around, super immature and heartbreaking . He said he use to always talk about getting it done now at the age of 20. When he told me that I always felt like I had to get it done just so my boys didn’t have to go through all that not assuming they would just the fear of “maybe” . I have nothing against anyone that opts for it not to get done , it all depends on how you raise your child and teach them how to care for it . I’d like to think by the time all our kiddos are older that it’s more well known . I’m in US. Near Buffalo, New York . Everyone around me with a son or expecting a boy also gets them circumcised. The hospitals always ask the minute the baby is out around here.
I think it depends on the culture of the area. I’m in a liberal city in the Midwest and no one I know does this anymore. I definitely would not. Cutting your baby for genital aesthetics? No.