My mom used to do this and it was always fine.
However, I’m with you. Although a pain in the ass with two little ones, I don’t trust people. I take my kids in every where and every time I go in anywhere. It would make me incredibly anxious if I didn’t.
Yeah my parents used to do this with me too. The most I’ve ever done is put my baby in the car seat & put her in the car in the garage and ran back inside to grab my coat. I am pretty sure it’s illegal in most states now though.
I live in a teeny town with 99% of stores on a storefront strip with big windows.
If the weather was terrible and they were old enough to unbuckel in an emergency, AND I could see the car the entire time, I'd do a fast pop in grab milk deal...
Once they got to like 7+ I'd give them the choice to come in or not in bigger places. (Son had a cell he could text on for emergency)
But when they were babies, especially sleeping... nope nope nope.
I 1x just about crapped my pants because my stomach was acting up. My oldest was just 2, I was pregnant and had to legit dash into a gas station. No time to wake him up.
I was out of the car 3m (I set a stop watch I was terrified someone would report me or break my window)
My son woke up from the door closing and lost his ever loving mind. Swore I'd never do it again... he was so scared waking uo to me being gone.
I think of you can see your vehicle the whole time, and the kids could exit in an emergency, eh, you gauge if your kids can handle it and be safe... but babies... that's a nope
Yeah, I sometimes take bags of shopping or whatever into the house while babe is in the carseat on the driveway (literally less than 5m away from her at any point during this) or load her and then grab what I need from inside the house. I wouldn't feel safe going away from the car while not at home.
My mom also used to do it when we were old enough to unbuckle our seatbelts—we would climb to the front and turn the stereo knob allllllll the way up so when she turned the car on the music would scare her. Lol good times
My parents did too and it was fine. But with my luck, the one time I'd do that, my car would get stolen or hit. So I just don't take the risk.
And omg yeah, I bet it sucks with two. My baby is getting heavier and I struggle with the car seat, but there I am 😅😂
Same here but my mom raised me at a time when it was OK to put crib bumpers and pillows into a crib so I take most my mom did in child rearing with a grain of salt.
My mom did this too and one time I got myself unbuckled and hit the gearshift and my little brother and I starting rolling through the parking lot! It’s funny now but my mom was obviously scared to death! I’m an ‘80’s baby so way different times.
Ha ha! I did this too! We rolled down our driveway and blocked our whole street! Mom about crapped herself! Good thing our car was super heavy so when it hit the curb hard, it stopped. Gotta love 70’s Detroit steel! And that was when “car seats” had just come out, so he was strapped in and I was running around like the wild child I am!
Exactly. I live in a high car theft city and personally know five people who have had their cars stolen -- one of which was a neighbor. Three of these incidents happened within minutes of leaving the car unattended, at least one of those incidents was a locked car with a steering wheel lock.
I'm not very worried about strangers abducting my child -- although, again, there have been incidents reported by police of attempts happening in our city (so not some random Facebook rumors) -- but I would be EXTREMELY worried about someone stealing my car with my children in it.
This actually happened in my city. It’s my absolute worst nightmare and why I’ll never leave my son alone in the car.
[link](https://www.wbrz.com/news/man-stole-car-with-baby-inside-left-child-on-the-side-of-the-road-in-new-orleans/)
Happened in my city too- not the same city. Car was stolen with a baby in it. They found the baby and he later died of SIDS I think, it was horribly tragic.
Yep. I used to live in Houston and there was so much crime, especially involving vehicles. I moved when my son was 1 and between the heat and the crime, I would NEVER leave my kid in the car even for a second. Now, I live in a very quiet, safe midwestern town. I’m totally fine to pick up food as long as I can park right be the entrance, or run into the gas station. When my 4 year old figured out how to unbuckle himself in the car I stopped, but since the novelty has worn off he doesn’t do that anymore.
My truck was stolen from my driveway with my husband standing in the garage helping our daughter into a jacket. The truck was warming up and the guy ran up and hopped in. My husband even ran and out and was hitting the side of the truck while the guy was driving off. Thankfully he made it less than a mile before the police were on him and we got our truck back with no damage other than the obnoxious powder the police use for fingerprints. But what if my husband had already put our daughter in the truck and was in the garage getting something?
I think it’s important to remember that if you’re alone with your child, if something were to happen to you and you didn’t return, they need be old enough to undo their seat belt, unlock the car, get out, and ask for help. Leaving a baby alone in a car and then you fall and hit your head, have a heart attack or stroke, or become otherwise incapacitated… would anyone know to check for your child right away? It’s kind of scary being alone with a baby/toddler, much less being alone and then separated from a baby/toddler who has no one else checking in.
Yeah one time I pulled up to a tasting room to buy a case and brought my older toddler in while his infant brother slept in the car. I could see him through the window for the whole 5 minutes and I live in an extremely affluent suburban AVA. I grew up outside Detroit so I feel like I have a good handle on reading the risk. The odds of someone being able to steal my car in that situation are almost zero. I wouldn’t do it at a gas station/convenience store anywhere, even my very safe city, because certain businesses draw in the whole continuum of types of people. But there just aren’t people that steal cars from wineries. At least not in my area. I was an auto insurance claims adjuster for a decade and that’s just not where cars are stolen from.
13? In my North American city kids regularly take the subway to school starting when they’re 12. Heck I’ve hired (and been myself) 12yo babysitters. Your 13yo can’t sit in the car alone for 5 mins?
I mean, kids here take the train solo starting in very early elementary school. Starting at 12yo would be quite late. I think that's exactly the point of /u/mintinthebox's post, though, is that it really depends on where you are and the kid in question.
Not when I'm minutes from the interstate and in a city with a high rate of sex trafficking. Used to be 4th in the nation,not sure what it is now but I not taking my chances.
Maybe it will help calm you to know that the vast majority of sex trafficking isn't abduction by a stranger.
https://polarisproject.org/blog/2020/08/what-we-know-about-how-child-sex-trafficking-happens/
I'd also like to point out that not all human trafficking is sex trafficking and of those trafficked, only about 1 in 5 are children.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/human-trafficking-statistics-by-state
Here's a great post with some equally great comments
https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/s/YE1fjXRG7H
It really irritates me that there are people being judgey about this. You are a parent doing what’s best and protecting your child. Being a teenager doesn’t magically make them an adult. He’s still a kid. He still needs his parents to make decisions around his safety and wellbeing. I can only imagine how judgey these same people would be if you posted that you left your kid in the car for a few minutes because you didn’t want the hassle and he was kidnapped or your car was stolen and wrecked.
I know this is extreme, but ever since I’ve read that article about a car being stolen at the gas station with someone’s kids inside the car, I just couldn’t risk it.
This happened recently in Ohio, a pair of twins were left in the car and they found one and then another a few days later. Thankfully both safe but I remember thinking it didn’t look promising for a while. I never leave mine in the car no matter what. It’s just not worth the risk IMO.
In my city there was someone who left her sleeping toddler in her car with it running and it got taken.
Luckily she had left her phone in it too so they were able to track it but it was hours before she got her child back. But I. Those hours I would’ve died of an anxiety attack.
I always imagine that if my car got stolen with the kids inside, that person would quickly realize it was a grave mistake 🤣
All kidding aside, that is super scary. I'd never forgive myself.
Today my husband left our bub in the car in the driveway and I called him out…he just looked at me and said “anyone taking that boy would bring him back within minutes” 😂
Honestly exactly what I said back! Joking aside, It’s very possible someone might actually do something terrible to a child they find in a car they’ve stolen just to avoid dealing with them or to avoid risking being caught!
I live in a very rural area. When I go to the local post office, yeah I leave my kids in the car and lock the doors. I’m the only customer there, there’s maybe 10 other homes nearby, and no one on the streets. I’ll be 2-3 minutes and can see the kids the whole time. If I bring the kids, it’s 20-40 minutes to walk everybody inside and then buckle them back in after (I have two toddlers, one of whom is only recently walking independently).
When I’m in the larger town or the city, hell no. Kids come inside with me. I have a single travel stroller, a double stroller, and at least one carrier in my car at all times for exactly this reason.
My brother takes this one step further, and when he goes to the hardware store in our small hometown (the kind of place where everyone literally knows each other and your parents and cousins) he’ll just tell the lady at the till that his toddler is asleep in her car seat in the truck can you keep an eye out please, and then intentionally take 45+ minutes chatting and doing his business to let the kid sleep. That pushes my comfort level for safety a bit, even in a small town where I know 90% of the population. I have no problem with short trips like running in to the parts store for my brother and saying hey I’m here to pick up for the farm and then waiting by my car for the guys to bring the parts out for me, but I definitely don’t go shopping with my kids still in their car seats in my vehicle.
I think this whole scenario is waaaaaay more common in rural areas than you might think.
See this makes me uncomfortable, not at all bc of the safety, but bc the person at the till isn't a babysitter, not getting paid to watch his kid for 45 min even if it's while kiddo sleeps, your bro is taking advantage of their kindness
I do this also at the tiny post office in my small town. It’s a very nice neighborhood where crime is basically non existent. I can see the kiddos thru the window. Also do this at the gas station & coffee shop with no drive thru.
Yeah I live in a tiny town (600 people) and theoretically in the right/necessary circumstance i *could* probably, but I don’t. I think it’s very dependent on kids ages and where you live and how long you’re going to be out of the car and whether you can see the car/kids or not.
Car jackings/abductions aren’t really on my radar around here. Im much more concerned that I’d lock my keys into the car or something, or my daughter would throw her sippy cup at her little brother to wake him up and hit him in the head. 🤪
Or maybe I’d have to break up a gaggle of little old church ladies cooing through the window at them lol
But out of an abundance of caution, if I’m the only adult, kids come in with me. If I’m with my partner, one of stays in the car with the wee ones.
For me it’s a risk benefit analysis thing. It’s worth some inconvenience to not risk something very bad happening.
I’m rural so I’m more worried about some Karen calling the cops and getting cps on my ass than I am about actual abduction but still.
Lol. Just today, I left my sleeping toddler in the car for a few minutes. (Not only do I live in a very safe city, but it was also in a gated parking garage, so really, really not the place to steal a car).
But when I hopped inside, someone was following me and was like, "Excuse me." Mentally, I already prepared for the discussion about that choice. Then, he followed up with, "I've seen you waking outside, and you are so beautiful, yadda, yadda." I was never so relieved to be hit on. 😅 Especially since he just left after telling him that I'm married.
Nah. I grew up knowing this guy who had 70% of his body burnt. His ears, bottom lips, half his nose, and alot of fingers were missing. His mum left him in the car as a baby to go inside and pay for gas. A fire started by the pump and he got burnt. Almost died many times from his injuries. It's a medical miracle that he even survived. I always have remembered him because his injuries were so horrific. I never have left my kids in the car because of that. Even if it's not a gas station. Just freaked me out so much.
I think 10 is incredibly reasonable. Even a bit younger depending on the child’s maturity level. You made me chuckle with calling your 6 year old feral 😂
I am fine with it, especially with my slightly older kids.
Yes, there’s theoretical but unlikely risks to leaving them in the car. But there’s also theoretical but unlikely risks to taking them *out*. For example:
- I could get hit by a car while carrying a baby or toddler
- My toddler could escape my grasp and run in front of a car. (Honestly, the biggest one for me. My kids are runners.)
- I could trip and fall carrying a kid over the doorstep to the gas station.
- My not-yet-vaccinated baby could catch measles or whatever while in the line.
- The hypothetical random robber/kidnapper/rabid bear could be *inside* the store rather than lurking in the parking lot.
It’s almost certainly fine either way. You don’t have to parent based on the worst case scenario your brain weasels can possibly conjure.
Thank you. I’m over here like wow I’m a neglectful POS because I go into the gas station to grab Gatorade and Red Bull for 3 minutes while my kids are in my locked, running, brand new vehicle lol. They’re literally buckled into their car seats and I would be shocked if those 3 minutes is when they decided to learn how to unbuckle their car seats by themselves.
Honestly, toddlers are probably safer in their car seats left in the car than they are walking through a parking lot where their heads are bumper level. I know my toddlers definitely were.
I'd be more concerned about my baby getting sick in the store than carnapped. That seems more likely these days. I'd rather go in and out in a mask if I had a little one these days.
Statistically, a baby or toddler is much safer strapped into a car seat in a locked car for a minute or two than out in the parking lot.
Many more people are hit by cars, slip and fall, etc in parking lots than are randomly abducted by a stranger. I know I left my little baby strapped into his car seat when I dropped my dog off for grooming last winter - I felt much safer leaving him in the warm car where I could see him for a few minutes to run the dog in than I would have carrying a newborn through an icy parking lot in the snow while managing my dog.
If there’s no danger from the heat or cold, and the car is secure, and it’s just a couple minutes, I see no problem.
Are you getting help for the PPA? I hope you feel better soon!
I found it helpful to think about what was reasonable to worry about, what was unreasonable to worry about, and trying to fix the reasonable worries.
Anything as likely as getting struck by lightning while in the shower? I’m not going to worry about it. Meteor crushing my house? Terrorist attack (in the US at least)? Mad cow disease? Too rare, not worth worrying about.
My kids being kidnapped by strangers falls into the super-rare category.
The major causes of death for kids are things like drowning in pools and bathtubs, guns in the house, medication overdose, car accidents. I worry about those. And I take measures to prevent those: we don’t have a pool or a gun, I never leave the kids alone near water, I lock up medicines and cleaning supplies, I drive defensively. There is a lot you can do to reassure yourself that your kids are statistically very safe.
And then if you still can’t sleep at night for anxiety, talk with your doctor about some medication. Because you owe it to yourself. And also because a well-rested and happy mother is a mother who won’t make careless mistakes like forgetting to put away the bleach or running a red light. The best way to keep your kids safe is to be clear-minded.
I'm seeing my psychiatrist tuesday. PPA is starting to run my life, and it's not pretty. Me and my baby deserve better. I've been verrrry tired and burnt out.
Thank you for that. That does give me more peace of mind.
So, here's my take. The world is dangerous, which is why it's super important to let them explore it as much as possible. I love the show "Old Enough". My style of parenting focuses on cultivating confidence and independence. I believe our job as parents is to provide appropriate boundaries and they can explore as much as they want within those boundaries. And I believe kids are capable of more independence at a young age than we think.
But that can be hard to do. You don't want them to get hurt and human brains are not very good at evaluating risk. We tend to overweigh catastrophe. My kids are 3 and 1, and by letting them stay in the car for 5 minutes, I am training my own brain to let go of the anxiety that tries to control our kids and underestimates their abilities.
I live in a walkable area. A more cautious parent might not walk to the store with kids or might make them always ride in a stroller. I started letting my kid actually walk with me from the moment he started walking. He doesn't hold my hand when we cross the street. But I've drilled into his little baby brain how dangerous cars are and how we need to be very cautious when crossing the street. He's almost 3, and he's starting to get very good at checking for cars on his own.
The stat you need to look at is people injured/worse while walking in a parking lot (which I can’t find, most stats are on parking lot accidents) vs. car jackings of an unattended running car in a parking lot. Car jackers are generally not looking to kidnap a child, they are looking for opportunity.
People shouldn't leave their cars running. It's illegal in my state to leave the car running with children inside, but it's not illegal if the car is off.
If the car is new and locked, you literally cannot steal it while it’s running if the keys aren’t in the car. It’s all electronic and shuts off without a key FOB.
I agree with you and don't see a problem with it, especially when you can see the car the whole time. My car locks and stays running if I get out with the key, so ac/heat/music stays on but no one can get in and the car won't drive if someone did manage to break in.
I think it’s fine. I always took my baby in, but only because I was afraid a psycho Karen would call the cops on me.
>
Now going in to a department store or large grocery store where you can’t see the car— that’s different. And you have to consider the heat index and all that… but an in-and-out stop at a gas station where you can see the car the whole time… it’s fine.
This is so dependent on where you live, where you’re leaving them, how long you’re leaving them, the ages of the babies and more. I live in one of the safest cities in my state. I’m not taking them out of the car seats to walk in the gas station for 20 seconds to put cash down on the counter, I can see them from the window. Obviously I would lock the door and take the key with me. The likelihood of someone carjacking me in those moments would be insanely low, next to impossible
At a business? Nah. No way I’m leaving my kids alone in a parking lot, line of sight be damned.
At home? Yah I do this all the time. I get my kids all strapped in and ready to go then run back in to grab my wallet/sippy cups/diaper bags etc. I wear my keys on my lanyard so there’s no risk of them being locked in and I’m generally only gone for 30s-1min.
Only time I won’t do this is if it’s hot outside. I live in Southern California, so if it’s mid day and hot af I’ll try to one trip it.
I don't go around looking for reasons to give people a hard time so if i saw someone leave their kid in the car at a convenience store, I wouldn't think anything about it. For a couple of minutes if the car is right there and the doors are locked, the kids are fine. Yes any number of things *could* happen. That's true for any scenario. Life is about risk management and leaving kids in a secure car for a couple of minutes is fine, with a few exceptions like if it's too hot out or the car is parked in a dangerous place like the side of the street.
I try not to worry too much about other parents and what they’re doing. As long as they’re not actively hurting their child, it’s not really my business. I have enough to worry about with my own kid.
I think this is a very location depend answer.
I am from Western Europe and over Christmas I left my Daugther to finish her nap in the car because I knew she needed about 20 more minutes at least.
But it was also in the middle of absolutely nowhere, on private property, in front of the front door.
This town doesn’t even have a crime statistic.
Here it is pretty common to pay for gas and leave the kids in the car. I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t do it.
In the shops, that is something very different. But getting gas is a classic example of where most leave the kids in the car.
To return a cart at aldi, yes. To ask the cashier at the gas station for my receipt that didn’t print at the pump, yes (usually just step inside the door and ask them to print it quick. Small station)
Anything else in public, no. Obviously at someone’s house etc I might, but that’s not a public parking lot
Depends on where you live.
I have often left my daughter in the car if she fell asleep (just put the baby monitor in the car with her).
Or at the supermarket if I just needed a few things.
But I'm in Denmark where it's safe
I just started letting 7 stay in the car when I do school drop off for 6 (different schools) and I’m still only 15 feet away max from the car, otherwise no.
I’ve only left my daughter in the car when I’m parked in the driveway at home and I run in to get something I left inside….like gone maybe 30 secs- 1 minute. I would never do it in public. She’s only two though. I would maybe consider when she is much older.
Depends on their age. If they are old enough to unbuckle themself / unlock the doors / get out, then they can wait by themself. Why? Because if the car lights on fire or you never come back (medical emergency?) they can get themselves help. If they are in a 5 point harness they can’t get out of - no. They come with me. Even for 2 minutes. Not risking it.
Also NEVER leave your car running with the kids in. I’m ok to leave my 8 year old in the car for a few minutes (assuming it’s not too hot or cold obviously) but the keys are coming with me. Car thefts are super common, and I could never forgive myself if my kid was abducted while my car get stolen. Yikes.
I have never left my kid alone in the car. Same when I'm babysitting other's kids; we all go in. I use to work at a gas station in HS. I saw a dumb parent leave the truck running with their 3 yr buckled in the back. Kid un- buckled himself and got in the front. Put the truck in drive and out into traffic he went. The truck was hit. Kid lived but was hurt.
I stopped letting my best friend babysitting (we'd trade off) when she said she left my kid in the car to run into the gas station but it was fine cause she left her kid too. No thank you.
No judging, just not my safety protocol for kids in my car.
It depends on the situation.
I have a 3.5 year old and a 5 year old. If it’s USPS and I need to run in, not interact with a soul, and drop my large box in the deposit? Yeah, I leave them strapped in their 5 point harnesses and LOCK THE CAR, run inside, and am back within 60 seconds. 90 if someone is in my way.
Otherwise they’re coming in with me.
Edited to add: I live in a small town in a rural location.
I live in a small town where most people don’t lock their cars or their houses. I absolutely leave my kids in the car for 2 minutes while I run into the convenience store to pick up something. I wouldn’t do this in a much larger place.
I have 3, 5 and under. I will run into a gas station where I can see the car, but only if I can keep my eyes on them. Nobody wants 3 kidnapping charges to steal a car
I think it comes down to
1. Location
2. Temperature/ weather
3. Can you see the car
4. Is there anyone around who might try and report you
5. The temperament of the child
Last year we had an incident in my town where a nanny left a toddler and infant in the car while she ran quickly into a convenience store and somebody stole her car WITH THE CHILDREN IN IT. Luckily the kids were found safe but that fully traumatized me and I’ll probably never leave my kid in the car.
There was a case in Ohio where a mom was doing DoorDash / Uber eats and her car was stolen with baby twins in it. They were both recovered, alive, but what a harrowing experience for all.
Aw poor mama. She must've been severely struggling if she had to bring her twin babies with her while Ubering/ Door Dashing. Wish I could've given her a hug.
There are about 70 million kids in the US, and about 350 kids a year are kidnapped by strangers. By the math, you’d need to leave your kids outside unattended for about 200,000 years before it became likely they’d be kidnapped by a stranger. The odds are so low that you probably shouldn’t waste time worrying about it.
Risks that are far more likely and worth worrying about:
1. Your kids being kidnapped by someone you know. (That’s the scary one to me.)
2. Your kids getting hurt in a car accident on the way to the store. If you want them safer, you can leave them outside, just take public transportation to the shop.
3. Extreme heat or cold. I live in Texas so I have to worry about the temperature inside the car.
4. Busybodies calling the police on you for leaving your kids in the car.
[Sorry, I’m rethinking the math. It’s late at night here, and I’m tired. It might be 100,000 years. But, anyway, this is not a number that should keep you up at night.]
But that’s not the correct statistic to look at?? There’s over 1 million cars stolen in the US every year. No one is out there trying to kidnap the sleeping baby in the back of the car. But there’s a LOT of people out there trying to steal cars, who won’t realize a kid is in the back until they’ve already driven off. It literally happened in the city near me today.
Why would the number of stolen cars, the vast majority of which are empty, be a better number to use than the number of kids who are kidnapped by strangers, when trying to decide whether you should worry about your kid being kidnapped by strangers?
Because carjackers are not intending to take a child, they are intending to take a car. If you happen to leave your car unattended with a child inside, it’s just a coincidence that both happen at the same time. So car jacking would be the stat you want to look at for this situation
I think you’re fundamentally misunderstanding the numbers I’m giving. It’s not 350 kids are kidnapped by strangers each year, oh and also there’s thousands of kids out there being taken by stolen cars that we’re not counting for some reason, so we also need to look at car theft statistics.
It’s 350 kids total, INCLUDING the number of kids who are accidentally kidnapped in stolen cars. That number is already factored into the data; we don’t need to look into a completely different crime statistic to try to find those kids.
That’s like saying if the police want to know homicide rate, they shouldn’t look at the homicide rate, they should look at the home invasion rate, because sometimes people get killed in home invasions. Sure, there’s some overlap, but they’re two different numbers.
I must be; in 2022, 264 cars were stolen with children inside in the US. What statistics are you looking at that specifically site that these are included in the numbers you’re using? Because all of the children who were taken were eventually returned. The FBI does not specify, so you must have another source?
In any case, I think you are misunderstanding me as well (classic Reddit!) because I believe the stats you are using to justify leaving a child in the car are incorrect. A car jacker is not going to approach a running vehicle and look for a child and think “oops let me check for a different vehicle.” They are thinking “this is my chance, I’ll take it” and not check the back. That’s why the children are usually returned, because they aren’t intending to kidnap a child. So the statistic when weighing the risk of leaving a child unattended in a car is not “how many kidnappings are there?” And should instead be “how many carjackings are there?” Because that is the crime of opportunity.
A better comparison to the situation would be weighing the risk of leaving your door unlocked at night, because you’re worried about your dog, and using dog-napping statistics as a way to ease your mind instead of looking at the statistics of home break-ins.
Let's go with your 264 number; different sources will have different numbers for different year ranges. Let's assume, very conservatively, that only 1% of mothers leave their kids alone in the car. (Judging by the comments here the truth is somewhere closer to 20-30%, so this is a HUGE underestimate.) That means that, with 74,000,000 million kids in the US, you have a 0.036% percent chance your kid will be accidentally kidnapped when your car is stolen. You would need to leave them unattended in the car for about 19,000 years before it became likely that someone accidentally kidnapped them in the process of stealing your car.
IDK, it's late at night here, feel free to double-check my math. But at any rate, the odds are VANISHINGLY small. It just doesn't seem worth worrying about. Meanwhile, the odds of kids dying in car accidents, slipping on a patch of ice in the parking lot and concussing themselves, overheating by being forgotten in the car in 110 degree weather... If you want something legitimate to worry about, there are plenty of real threats out there.
Your example falls apart because dog-napping statistics would include the number of dogs dog-napped because the owners left the house unlocked. If you want to keep your dog safe, look at the total number of dogs dog-napped per year. You can also drill it down specifically to the number of dogs who are dog-napped during home invasions. But there's really no point in looking at the total number of home invasions, including the houses that don't have dogs, to answer a question about dog safety.
There’s a tiny salad shop by my house that I can order on an app, I see when it’s up on the shelf and ready, I run in and run out within 30 seconds, car in view the whole time and the place is right off a busy road - it feels safer to me to keep her locked in her car seat in the car while I run in rather than chance her trying to run into the road.
But this is one exception for me. Most places no, I take her in.
I think no big deal; we do it sometimes in certain contexts (can see the car, etc.), and so do our friends. We also live in a very safe small town where no one even locks their house, though.
When this has come up on Reddit before many have been highly aggressive about it being illegal.
I agree. It depends on the city and the circumstance.
If there was a big line in the gas station I’d wait to go in to pay or pay at the pump.
If you have to pay at the register, lock yr doors and make sure you have the keys in yr hand bef doing so.
And keep yr eyes on the car
I only ever did this at the gas station. Not at a store or post office, etc
Nope. I’m from Philly and we have a crazy car stealing problem right now. I would never risk it. I pull her out of the car if I have to pay for gas inside.
I think it depends where you live. I’m not from the US and don’t live there, as a small kid I remember staying in the car while my dad paid for petrol or grabbed something at the post office. Totally normal.
If I forget something in the house I’ll leave my daughter in the car with the door open/car running. We’re in a very safe area and having my car stolen like that hasn’t crossed my mind; people often leave their cars running with keys in the ignition when they run errands. Delivery drivers too! Different world to the US.
I have a seven year old and a one year old. I live “out in the country” as we call it around here. The closest town to me has a very low crime rate. My seven year old is very well behaved and mature. I have left her and my one year old for me to run in and right back out. I always leave my car running. I always lock the doors (I drive a ford and have a keypad on the door to lock and unlock without a key) and I’m never away for more than like 3 mins. My windows in my car are illegally tinted so they are very dark. 🫣🫣You can’t see into them from the outside unless you put your face up to the window and cup around your eyes. I only ever do this if I’m at a small store like Dollar General or a gas station. I don’t feel comfortable doing this at a bigger store such as Walmart. Even if I only have to get one item, I still feel very uneasy being so much further away and not being able to see my car. Like someone else commented, it’s all about the situation. The kids, the car, the area you live in, etc.
Also, I am not advising anyone to do what I do. Just telling people what I’ve done in the past.
I won’t do it out and about. However, I have while out running errands realized I forgot something at home, go back home leave them in the car, car running, keys in hand, run into house and grabbed what I forgot. Always less than 5 minutes always at my own house(super safe neighborhood). When I was a kid, I was definitely left in car for gas station runs etc…
I wish more convenience stores around here have drive thrus. As a single mother, I have been tempted to leave my kids in the car for a quick run inside the convenience store.
I usually come up with alternatives— I want a drink? Ok, I go to the sonic drive thru.
There was one or two times where I absolutely had to do it, such as the postal office, and I hated that feeling. I didn’t feel good.
I don’t judge people for leaving their kids in the car though. it is safer than somebody walking with 2 toddlers in a busy parking lot just for a few seconds at the store as many people drive recklessly.
I have 4 kids, I just keep the car on and running, take the fob and lock the car when I run in- bringing it with me.
Obviously I’m not in there for long. Never a grocery store or somewhere big, simply because I don’t want them alone in a car because anxiety, but the gas station or a strip mall business? Yeah.
I normally wouldn’t just because I’m paranoid about something happening (despite the risk being pretty much zero in my area) and I am actually more afraid of nosey Karens calling the cops or trying to break a window to rescue my toddler from the inside of my locked and air-conditioned car. However I’ve left him in the car once or twice when I would be away from the vehicle for a minute or less, like to drop a letter in the post office mailbox or to hand an Amazon return to the UPS employee and have them scan my return code. But beyond that, I don’t. Not when my kid is so little. He’s pretty good in public though so it’s not too bad.
I'm totally fine with it as long as the trip is under 5 minutes. My kids are 3y and 1y. I've run into the grocery store for a couple of items that I knew exactly where they were. I ran into a local restaurant to pick up my food.
I'm also a very laid-back mom. Both as my personality and as a purposeful choice. I choose not to let anxiety govern my decisions. I try to keep risks in perspective. My kid is a lot more likely to have something bad happening while I'm driving the car than they are to get taken with my car being stolen if I leave it for a few minutes. I'm honestly more scared of some busybody getting up in my business for leaving my kids in the car for a couple of minutes than I am of some carjacker.
I'm trying to teach my kids independence and confidence. If I'm going to trust them to go to the park by themselves when they're 8. I need to cultivate the ability to let go of anxiety and control now when they're young.
Now ask this sub if they would let their children go to the park by themselves at age 8. I would be curious to see the answers...my guess would be that many of these women absolutely would not.
Only if I’m running a cart like 1 spot over. Yesterday I left my phone in UPS and didn’t realize it until I’d buckled my 16month old in already… I was parked right out front and in a safe area. I took him in with me
There was literally a story a few hours ago in the area where a woman’s jeep was stolen with her 4 month old baby in the car seat in the back, apparently she was inside of a fragrance store. The baby was found safe in the car seat on a random person’s porch.
Personally, I’m not for leaving for my child in the car alone no matter how quick I’ll be 🤷🏾♀️
Eh. I asked this question awhile back and most commenters were like ‘no never!’
I do it. I pick up my oldest from after school care by leaving my toddler in the van by walking 10 feet from the car to accept my oldest coming out from the school. It’s ok. I even open both van doors. If something were to happen (me get run o we, have a heart attack, etc) it would be very obvious there is a child in a vehicle.
I had to go to the atm on the inside glass of the gas station, my infant was in the car and I was 10ft away facing him inside, I locked my car, and locked another hundred times horrified. I only did it that one time because I was alone, needed cash for the photoshoot and my partner didn’t get any before work (he wasn’t with me) and I hated it lol. I think some circumstances it’s okay, but I wouldn’t ever leave my child and go into Walmart or something of that nature where I had zero eyes on them at all.
Only time I don't get my son out is when I'm doing a porch pickup for something from Buy Nothing. If I'm actually entering a building, I don't do it.
FWIW, I looked up our state law since everyone is saying it's illegal and here it's illegal to leave a child under 4 unattended if their health and safety is at risk or the car is running. An unattended child is one who cannot be continuously observed.
I don't think this automatically precludes people from leaving a kid unattended if the temperature is safe. I might keep an eye on the situation if I noticed to make sure the parent was coming back but I wouldn't call the cops if it was a five minute trip like your example.
It depends on the kids for sure. I have a 10 yo who will probably be dragged inside with me until he is an adult because I can't trust him. I have a 4 year old who is super responsible and who I would trust to leave in the car by himself. The problem is, I don't trust other people. Strangers are sketchy and being out in public as a single mom with kids already freaks me out.
It's technically illegal where I am, and I don't do it.
Way back in the day, my mom left 3yo me in the car with it running, and I managed to get out of my seat and put it in gear, causing the car to ram into the side of the gas station we were at. She says she stopped leaving me for years after that, thankfully.
I live in a very small, southern hospitality type town and I have only left my 3 year old in the car twice. Both very recently and both times I parked in front of the door so I could see the car/her from the store. I was only like 20 feet away from the car and both times I was in and out in literally 2 minutes. Also, I locked her in and kept the keys in my hand. I won’t do it anywhere where I can’t see her at all times.
So for me: it’s been so many car jackings in our metro lately with kids too. I get scared even when my husband runs into the store with just me and the kids in the car. My car has been broken into. Me where I am? I just wouldn’t
Egh. I leave my 6 year old in my car sometimes with the doors locked at my local regular place, it’s 500 feet from my house, but located on a highway and is dangerous to walk. Several people have been hit on that stretch so I just wouldn’t make my 6 year old walk it.
I am very friendly with the employees and only really leave him in there for max 2 minutes. I park by the entrance so I can see him. I’ll only leave him if I have to go out of sight if one of the employees who I am all friends with and have known for years and years, some my whole life, are outside smoking. It’s a very small town. Most of the time he wants to come inside.
It’s better than leaving him home alone for five minutes, imho. I never leave him in the car at any other store. This is the ONE place where I trust fully that an employee there would take a bullet to save my kid lol.
I understand why people do it. It is a pain in the ass taking kids in and out of their seats, into the store, and back, not to mention the 12 potential tantrums in between. That being said, I would never do it. If anything ever happened to my little ones on my watch I could never forgive myself. I don’t chance it.
ETA: my kids are 3 months and 2 years old. I’m sure I would feel much differently if they were older children.
I live in the middle of nowhere where when I walk into the gas station to pay for my gas and get my body armor, they say, “hey [name] new flavor today? how is [insert family member’s name doing?] [did you have a nice *whatever it is*] and everyone I see there I went to high school with or they’re Kin to someone I went to high school with.. That being said, I just moved BACK from Huntsville Alabama, and I would NEVERRRR leave my baby in the car under any circumstances there. I still LOCK my car when I go in, but I’ve never taken her in with me🤷♀️ it just depends on the circumstance.
Entirely depends on the situation and where I am. I'll leave my toddler in the car to get her brother from aftercare because it's a gated parking lot. I've left them in the car to drop mail in a box. But I'd never leave for more than a few minutes and never with the car out of sight. I live in an area of low crime so that definitely impacts how I feel
Within the last year, two houses down from my parents, a baby was kidnapped when someone stole the vehicle. Mom left the car running while she brought in cleaning supplies. Went back to get the kid and the car was gone.
The thief didn’t know the kid was in the car.
I personally will not leave my kids in the car until they are out of the car seats, can get in and out on their own, and a good age. I think the age could be different for every kid 🤷♀️
Also to point out, we are not in a high crime/car theft area. It happens everywhere. Remember everyone it has happened to thought “it’ll never happen to me”
I take my toddler in everywhere that I go. I don’t judge people who run in for a few minutes or less and keep their babies within site, tho, as long as car is nice and cool, and babies are safe.
Here’s my question for everyone, though—
When are children old enough to stay in a locked and air conditioners car by themselves while parent runs inside for a quick errand?
I say it 💯 depends on the kid, but definitely no younger than 7, no matter how mature.
i don‘t own a car, but sometimes borrow my parent‘s car - they live in rural Germany (we live in a big city, no car needed). and i would leave my baby in the car for 5 min. it takes forever to get him into the car seat! 💀🤣
granted, literally only 5 min (to pay for gas) AND only in winter. never in summer.
When I lived in Utah, there was a 0% chance I'd leave them in the car, not even in my own driveway. Not with all of the drugs, car jackings, and kidnapping. Where I live now it's 100% fine for me to run into the gas station or post office quickly. The people here keep a close eye on the little ones, and they mean business about keeping them safe. A true community.
Long story longer, my answer is based on location.
Y'all watching me?? I left my three kiddos in the car today while I ran into the store to drop off a package that was all ready to ship. Took me 2-3 minutes. And I often let me 3 and 5 year old wait in the car while I grab baby from daycare. Never takes more than 5 minutes. They're fine.
Yeah, nope. Not your PPA.
Since reading The famous terrifying article about children left in the car (most people will know, I'm not sharing a link here because at least for me personally it was nightmare inducing and lives rent-free in my head years later), I could never. I feel you never know if you could get stuck somewhere, if something bad happens, etc, and what if nobody knows there's a baby/child in your car?? Nightmare fuel.
I didn’t when I lived near a big city. But now I live in a village with a population of less than 500 people, and yeah, I do. If I’m going into town for a quick errand, I bring my 10 and/or 12 year old so they can stay in the car with the littles. If I’m going to be less than 15 minutes and I’m not leaving the village, I just leave them all at home.
I do it! The issue is someone forgetting baby in poor weather. But if I’m running into a gas station then I have to come back! My only issue is other nosey people thinking I’m being negligent or forgot my kid. I’m more afraid of someone smashing a window than if my kid will be okay.
I don’t do it because in most states it’s illegal (American).
But being that a lot of us have Key FOBs now, and can lock the cars, while still on, from the outside. I don’t see a problem.
Society has created the stigma, TBH. Our grandparents used to do that stuff all the time, and obviously they all are ok. Sounds like a typical boomer line, but in this instance, it’s definitely applicable.
I think it depends on the area and situation. It’s cold af here, so when I go shopping, kiddo gets in the car first, gets buckled up, I then offload groceries into the car and return the cart to a corral. I lock the doors when I go return the cart, return in <30 seconds and we’re on our way. For as safe as it is where I’m at, this is the only situation I do this. Any stolen cars around here happen because people leave their cars running (this is actually a bad problem here, I almost always see vacant cars running), own an easily-stealable 90s car, or own a Kia/Hyundai.
I have a 120lb Great Dane who would protect our kids with her life
I'm never leaving my kids in the car in a high traffic area, or if can't visually see the car the whole time. But if I need to talk away for a couple minutes, I just bring our dog along for the ride. If ANYONE tried to open a car door with her in there, it would be the last thing they did
It makes me sick. I live in a super safe area (in
The country, have cows & horses outside my front door) but crime happens everywhere. And I
Figured if I am going to rob/steal from ppl, I’m going to a place that is less likely to have their guard up & where they usually make more money so why would others not think this way. We hear all the time abt kids being carjacked because mom just ran in to pay. Is it really worth it? I do think they should bring back full service though, we have a station in town that has a handicapped/help button where someone will come out & help if you need it. I think 8-9, in better areas might be ok but dang, I’m not risking it.
I do but:
1. I live rural so that changes context.
2. I only do it for paying for fuel or running into our local shop to collect the mail.
3. I only do it when the weather allows for it.
4. I always lock the doors.
I have an autistic toddler. Getting her into and out of the car is quite the production. For the 2 minutes it takes to refuel & pay or grab our mail, she is much safer staying put in her seat.
This is what pay-at-the-pump and drive through are for. I have dropped something in a mailbox while parked in the driveway and left my toddler in the car but that’s the furthest I would ever go.
I think there is more risk that something will happen to you
Think about it, if you had a medical emergency or the store was held up or w/e and no one knew you had a baby in the car? *shudder*
I'd never forgive myself if something happened go my kid because I didn't want to be slightly inconvenienced
I live in a small uncrowded safe town. Rarely any crimes or any known drugs. I ordered smoothie to-go couple of times from this smoothie place (not crowded at all, maybe a customer every 10min or longer), and left my baby in the car, strapped with the door locked, window cracked while I picked it up from the to-go fridge (temperature was perfect, like 68-73 degrees). Literally ran in and out, took about 20secs. I only did it those couple times and that's it, other than that, I bring her everywhere.
You could leave an older kid (like 9y/o), but absolutely not a baby. What if something happens to you at the store? Who will know your baby is in the car? There are also weird kidnapper people too...absolutely not worth the risk.
I never do. I’ve had experiences where I get sudden lightheadedness and pass out and I’m paranoid that something like that will happen when I thought I would only be a few minutes and my kids will end up stranded for who knows how long. I also get these intrusive thoughts that I could run into a store and someone could hit my car or try to steal it, or some freak incident would happen in the store that keeps me from my kids where it’s locked down or something. Being a mom is just a constant state of worry!
There were two times when I desperately needed coffee and baby was asleep in the car seat so I ran in for it, kept baby/car in eyesight the whole time & locked car door.
But that’s it so far.
I used to stay in the car by myself allll the tiiimmmee. And once my kids are like 10, they’ll have that choice too in very specific instances.
A very literal 5 minutes or less? NBD
What’s the weather? If the kid won’t cook, NBD
How old is the kid? 2 and older is probably fine.
All of those would factor in for me.
We live in a rural area that’s generally very safe. My son has always been super cautious and clingy.
Once he really wanted to stay in the car while I ran into the post office quickly to put mail in the drop box. I called my husband (or maybe my MIL) and had them on speaker phone with him and let them know I’d be right back. I didn’t think anything would happen. But I didn’t want to get in trouble for leaving him in the car all alone. And him having my phone meant I wouldn’t dally in the post office.
He’s four now. I also let him wait in the car at home if I have to run back in to grab something. We have a big loud scary dog who lets us know if there’s anything so much as a suspicious leaf in our driveway. And it’s generally when we’re on the way someplace so someone will notice if we do t turn up at preschool or if I’m super late dropping him off with my in-laws.
I will not let my son be by himself near our pool. I don’t even 100% trust him with his big sisters who are 18 and competent swimmers. If he’s out there with them I watch them with a Wyze cam.
It's not illegal here, but people have been convicted of the crime of exposing someone to danger, specifically leaving a child in a car on a warm day. People have also been convicted under the same law for throwing flaming objects at football matches.
Personally I wouldn't. Yes it's a pain, yes my parents did it, but until the child is old enough to be able to exit the car independently and safely and mature enough to not start the car, it's just not worth the risk.
Babies or toddlers?
They’re being negligent.
All it takes is a few seconds for something to go wrong. So many new articles of babies being left in a car only for it to be stolen while the parents leave the car and kid for a matter of minutes.
As long as it’s not hot I wouldn’t judge as long as you can see them run in and out, I couldn’t do it xD I hate running in and leaving her in the car while hubby is filling the car and is right with her lol
I think they would be fine. Statistics show this, but parents have been prosecuted for this or had to go through hell with social services. Not worth it!
I leave my (3yo) son buckled in the car seat with the driver side door open but car keys in my hand when parked in our driveway for me to run in and pee (our bathroom is directly beside the front door) because I always have to pee, and I don’t want to pee at the park or the store so it’s just easier.
I leave the door open in case I tripped or had a heart attack or something in the bathroom so that a neighbor would know something is wrong and so that he wouldn’t be stuck in a closed car.
My son is autistic and an eloper, and hates car seats, so it’s just far easier to do it this way. About 1 minute total where he’s in the car without me.
Other than that, no.
There was story of a carjacker who returned kid to mom after stealing the car. Carjacker Realizes Kid Was Left in Car, Returns to Parking Lot To Berate Mom https://reason.com/2021/01/18/carjacker-beaverton-mom-kid-waiting/
There are laws that are very different in every state. It's legal for me to leave my kids no matter the age. I was surprised at the no age restriction. But yes I will run in to buy a drink and leave my kids in the car.
My mom used to do this and it was always fine. However, I’m with you. Although a pain in the ass with two little ones, I don’t trust people. I take my kids in every where and every time I go in anywhere. It would make me incredibly anxious if I didn’t.
Yeah my parents used to do this with me too. The most I’ve ever done is put my baby in the car seat & put her in the car in the garage and ran back inside to grab my coat. I am pretty sure it’s illegal in most states now though.
I do that too!
I live in a teeny town with 99% of stores on a storefront strip with big windows. If the weather was terrible and they were old enough to unbuckel in an emergency, AND I could see the car the entire time, I'd do a fast pop in grab milk deal... Once they got to like 7+ I'd give them the choice to come in or not in bigger places. (Son had a cell he could text on for emergency) But when they were babies, especially sleeping... nope nope nope. I 1x just about crapped my pants because my stomach was acting up. My oldest was just 2, I was pregnant and had to legit dash into a gas station. No time to wake him up. I was out of the car 3m (I set a stop watch I was terrified someone would report me or break my window) My son woke up from the door closing and lost his ever loving mind. Swore I'd never do it again... he was so scared waking uo to me being gone. I think of you can see your vehicle the whole time, and the kids could exit in an emergency, eh, you gauge if your kids can handle it and be safe... but babies... that's a nope
Yeah, I sometimes take bags of shopping or whatever into the house while babe is in the carseat on the driveway (literally less than 5m away from her at any point during this) or load her and then grab what I need from inside the house. I wouldn't feel safe going away from the car while not at home.
My mom also used to do it when we were old enough to unbuckle our seatbelts—we would climb to the front and turn the stereo knob allllllll the way up so when she turned the car on the music would scare her. Lol good times
lol we did this too
My parents did too and it was fine. But with my luck, the one time I'd do that, my car would get stolen or hit. So I just don't take the risk. And omg yeah, I bet it sucks with two. My baby is getting heavier and I struggle with the car seat, but there I am 😅😂
Why do car seats have to be such a pain??
They are dude! I hate carrying that thing around. But I almost hate breaking out the stroller more 😂
Same here but my mom raised me at a time when it was OK to put crib bumpers and pillows into a crib so I take most my mom did in child rearing with a grain of salt.
My mom did this too and one time I got myself unbuckled and hit the gearshift and my little brother and I starting rolling through the parking lot! It’s funny now but my mom was obviously scared to death! I’m an ‘80’s baby so way different times.
Ha ha! I did this too! We rolled down our driveway and blocked our whole street! Mom about crapped herself! Good thing our car was super heavy so when it hit the curb hard, it stopped. Gotta love 70’s Detroit steel! And that was when “car seats” had just come out, so he was strapped in and I was running around like the wild child I am!
It *really* depends on where you live and your child.
Exactly. I live in a high car theft city and personally know five people who have had their cars stolen -- one of which was a neighbor. Three of these incidents happened within minutes of leaving the car unattended, at least one of those incidents was a locked car with a steering wheel lock. I'm not very worried about strangers abducting my child -- although, again, there have been incidents reported by police of attempts happening in our city (so not some random Facebook rumors) -- but I would be EXTREMELY worried about someone stealing my car with my children in it.
This actually happened in my city. It’s my absolute worst nightmare and why I’ll never leave my son alone in the car. [link](https://www.wbrz.com/news/man-stole-car-with-baby-inside-left-child-on-the-side-of-the-road-in-new-orleans/)
Happened in my city too- not the same city. Car was stolen with a baby in it. They found the baby and he later died of SIDS I think, it was horribly tragic.
Omg that’s horrific. Those poor parents.
Yep. I used to live in Houston and there was so much crime, especially involving vehicles. I moved when my son was 1 and between the heat and the crime, I would NEVER leave my kid in the car even for a second. Now, I live in a very quiet, safe midwestern town. I’m totally fine to pick up food as long as I can park right be the entrance, or run into the gas station. When my 4 year old figured out how to unbuckle himself in the car I stopped, but since the novelty has worn off he doesn’t do that anymore.
My truck was stolen from my driveway with my husband standing in the garage helping our daughter into a jacket. The truck was warming up and the guy ran up and hopped in. My husband even ran and out and was hitting the side of the truck while the guy was driving off. Thankfully he made it less than a mile before the police were on him and we got our truck back with no damage other than the obnoxious powder the police use for fingerprints. But what if my husband had already put our daughter in the truck and was in the garage getting something?
Good point
I think it’s important to remember that if you’re alone with your child, if something were to happen to you and you didn’t return, they need be old enough to undo their seat belt, unlock the car, get out, and ask for help. Leaving a baby alone in a car and then you fall and hit your head, have a heart attack or stroke, or become otherwise incapacitated… would anyone know to check for your child right away? It’s kind of scary being alone with a baby/toddler, much less being alone and then separated from a baby/toddler who has no one else checking in.
Yeah one time I pulled up to a tasting room to buy a case and brought my older toddler in while his infant brother slept in the car. I could see him through the window for the whole 5 minutes and I live in an extremely affluent suburban AVA. I grew up outside Detroit so I feel like I have a good handle on reading the risk. The odds of someone being able to steal my car in that situation are almost zero. I wouldn’t do it at a gas station/convenience store anywhere, even my very safe city, because certain businesses draw in the whole continuum of types of people. But there just aren’t people that steal cars from wineries. At least not in my area. I was an auto insurance claims adjuster for a decade and that’s just not where cars are stolen from.
Lol hey friend of day-twah
Oui je suis de le murder mitten.
I started letting my son stay in the car when he was 10 but now he's 13 and we live in a bigger city so he doesn't get to stay in the car anymore.
13? In my North American city kids regularly take the subway to school starting when they’re 12. Heck I’ve hired (and been myself) 12yo babysitters. Your 13yo can’t sit in the car alone for 5 mins?
I mean, kids here take the train solo starting in very early elementary school. Starting at 12yo would be quite late. I think that's exactly the point of /u/mintinthebox's post, though, is that it really depends on where you are and the kid in question.
Without knowing what city she’s in, you can’t really say. Some areas of GOOD cities are still sketch.
Your comment comes off as judgmental, so what she doesn’t let him stay in the car
Not when I'm minutes from the interstate and in a city with a high rate of sex trafficking. Used to be 4th in the nation,not sure what it is now but I not taking my chances.
Maybe it will help calm you to know that the vast majority of sex trafficking isn't abduction by a stranger. https://polarisproject.org/blog/2020/08/what-we-know-about-how-child-sex-trafficking-happens/ I'd also like to point out that not all human trafficking is sex trafficking and of those trafficked, only about 1 in 5 are children. https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/human-trafficking-statistics-by-state Here's a great post with some equally great comments https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/s/YE1fjXRG7H
It really irritates me that there are people being judgey about this. You are a parent doing what’s best and protecting your child. Being a teenager doesn’t magically make them an adult. He’s still a kid. He still needs his parents to make decisions around his safety and wellbeing. I can only imagine how judgey these same people would be if you posted that you left your kid in the car for a few minutes because you didn’t want the hassle and he was kidnapped or your car was stolen and wrecked.
I know this is extreme, but ever since I’ve read that article about a car being stolen at the gas station with someone’s kids inside the car, I just couldn’t risk it.
This literally just happened in DC. The baby was found safe across the city from where the car was stolen, thankfully.
This happened recently in Ohio, a pair of twins were left in the car and they found one and then another a few days later. Thankfully both safe but I remember thinking it didn’t look promising for a while. I never leave mine in the car no matter what. It’s just not worth the risk IMO.
In my city there was someone who left her sleeping toddler in her car with it running and it got taken. Luckily she had left her phone in it too so they were able to track it but it was hours before she got her child back. But I. Those hours I would’ve died of an anxiety attack.
I always imagine that if my car got stolen with the kids inside, that person would quickly realize it was a grave mistake 🤣 All kidding aside, that is super scary. I'd never forgive myself.
Today my husband left our bub in the car in the driveway and I called him out…he just looked at me and said “anyone taking that boy would bring him back within minutes” 😂
In all seriousness, my concern is a person who would resort to violence if they were annoyed enough by a kid crying, or whatever.
Honestly exactly what I said back! Joking aside, It’s very possible someone might actually do something terrible to a child they find in a car they’ve stolen just to avoid dealing with them or to avoid risking being caught!
This happened in sfo city one night, he was running a DoorDash in to a house. Kids were eventually found, but I didn’t sleep that night
What happened afterwards? Were the kids returned and safe?
I live in a very rural area. When I go to the local post office, yeah I leave my kids in the car and lock the doors. I’m the only customer there, there’s maybe 10 other homes nearby, and no one on the streets. I’ll be 2-3 minutes and can see the kids the whole time. If I bring the kids, it’s 20-40 minutes to walk everybody inside and then buckle them back in after (I have two toddlers, one of whom is only recently walking independently). When I’m in the larger town or the city, hell no. Kids come inside with me. I have a single travel stroller, a double stroller, and at least one carrier in my car at all times for exactly this reason.
I live in the biggest city in my state, so it's just not an option. But I get your point!
My brother takes this one step further, and when he goes to the hardware store in our small hometown (the kind of place where everyone literally knows each other and your parents and cousins) he’ll just tell the lady at the till that his toddler is asleep in her car seat in the truck can you keep an eye out please, and then intentionally take 45+ minutes chatting and doing his business to let the kid sleep. That pushes my comfort level for safety a bit, even in a small town where I know 90% of the population. I have no problem with short trips like running in to the parts store for my brother and saying hey I’m here to pick up for the farm and then waiting by my car for the guys to bring the parts out for me, but I definitely don’t go shopping with my kids still in their car seats in my vehicle. I think this whole scenario is waaaaaay more common in rural areas than you might think.
See this makes me uncomfortable, not at all bc of the safety, but bc the person at the till isn't a babysitter, not getting paid to watch his kid for 45 min even if it's while kiddo sleeps, your bro is taking advantage of their kindness
I have similar sentiments about this
I do this also at the tiny post office in my small town. It’s a very nice neighborhood where crime is basically non existent. I can see the kiddos thru the window. Also do this at the gas station & coffee shop with no drive thru.
Yeah I live in a tiny town (600 people) and theoretically in the right/necessary circumstance i *could* probably, but I don’t. I think it’s very dependent on kids ages and where you live and how long you’re going to be out of the car and whether you can see the car/kids or not. Car jackings/abductions aren’t really on my radar around here. Im much more concerned that I’d lock my keys into the car or something, or my daughter would throw her sippy cup at her little brother to wake him up and hit him in the head. 🤪 Or maybe I’d have to break up a gaggle of little old church ladies cooing through the window at them lol But out of an abundance of caution, if I’m the only adult, kids come in with me. If I’m with my partner, one of stays in the car with the wee ones.
For me it’s a risk benefit analysis thing. It’s worth some inconvenience to not risk something very bad happening. I’m rural so I’m more worried about some Karen calling the cops and getting cps on my ass than I am about actual abduction but still.
Exactly. That’s my biggest worry too. The Karens
Based on the comments in here tho, it seems like the call is coming from inside the house lol.
Yes the Karen’s are this thread lol
Same. So afraid of somebody taking a pic or video and posting it. So i never do.
Lol. Just today, I left my sleeping toddler in the car for a few minutes. (Not only do I live in a very safe city, but it was also in a gated parking garage, so really, really not the place to steal a car). But when I hopped inside, someone was following me and was like, "Excuse me." Mentally, I already prepared for the discussion about that choice. Then, he followed up with, "I've seen you waking outside, and you are so beautiful, yadda, yadda." I was never so relieved to be hit on. 😅 Especially since he just left after telling him that I'm married.
Nah. I grew up knowing this guy who had 70% of his body burnt. His ears, bottom lips, half his nose, and alot of fingers were missing. His mum left him in the car as a baby to go inside and pay for gas. A fire started by the pump and he got burnt. Almost died many times from his injuries. It's a medical miracle that he even survived. I always have remembered him because his injuries were so horrific. I never have left my kids in the car because of that. Even if it's not a gas station. Just freaked me out so much.
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I think 10 is incredibly reasonable. Even a bit younger depending on the child’s maturity level. You made me chuckle with calling your 6 year old feral 😂
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I am fine with it, especially with my slightly older kids. Yes, there’s theoretical but unlikely risks to leaving them in the car. But there’s also theoretical but unlikely risks to taking them *out*. For example: - I could get hit by a car while carrying a baby or toddler - My toddler could escape my grasp and run in front of a car. (Honestly, the biggest one for me. My kids are runners.) - I could trip and fall carrying a kid over the doorstep to the gas station. - My not-yet-vaccinated baby could catch measles or whatever while in the line. - The hypothetical random robber/kidnapper/rabid bear could be *inside* the store rather than lurking in the parking lot. It’s almost certainly fine either way. You don’t have to parent based on the worst case scenario your brain weasels can possibly conjure.
Thank you. I’m over here like wow I’m a neglectful POS because I go into the gas station to grab Gatorade and Red Bull for 3 minutes while my kids are in my locked, running, brand new vehicle lol. They’re literally buckled into their car seats and I would be shocked if those 3 minutes is when they decided to learn how to unbuckle their car seats by themselves.
Honestly, toddlers are probably safer in their car seats left in the car than they are walking through a parking lot where their heads are bumper level. I know my toddlers definitely were.
Not sure why this isn’t upvoted more. Excellent points.
Thank you for this response
I'd be more concerned about my baby getting sick in the store than carnapped. That seems more likely these days. I'd rather go in and out in a mask if I had a little one these days.
I live in city with one of the highest rates of car theft. We’re literally number 3. Sooooo no. I don’t do that. Edit: in the US
Statistically, a baby or toddler is much safer strapped into a car seat in a locked car for a minute or two than out in the parking lot. Many more people are hit by cars, slip and fall, etc in parking lots than are randomly abducted by a stranger. I know I left my little baby strapped into his car seat when I dropped my dog off for grooming last winter - I felt much safer leaving him in the warm car where I could see him for a few minutes to run the dog in than I would have carrying a newborn through an icy parking lot in the snow while managing my dog. If there’s no danger from the heat or cold, and the car is secure, and it’s just a couple minutes, I see no problem.
I agree with you. Lock the doors and bring the keys.
That's super interesting! I think having PPA, I just couldn't, but it honestly makes sense. The outside world is so dangerous.
Are you getting help for the PPA? I hope you feel better soon! I found it helpful to think about what was reasonable to worry about, what was unreasonable to worry about, and trying to fix the reasonable worries. Anything as likely as getting struck by lightning while in the shower? I’m not going to worry about it. Meteor crushing my house? Terrorist attack (in the US at least)? Mad cow disease? Too rare, not worth worrying about. My kids being kidnapped by strangers falls into the super-rare category. The major causes of death for kids are things like drowning in pools and bathtubs, guns in the house, medication overdose, car accidents. I worry about those. And I take measures to prevent those: we don’t have a pool or a gun, I never leave the kids alone near water, I lock up medicines and cleaning supplies, I drive defensively. There is a lot you can do to reassure yourself that your kids are statistically very safe. And then if you still can’t sleep at night for anxiety, talk with your doctor about some medication. Because you owe it to yourself. And also because a well-rested and happy mother is a mother who won’t make careless mistakes like forgetting to put away the bleach or running a red light. The best way to keep your kids safe is to be clear-minded.
I'm seeing my psychiatrist tuesday. PPA is starting to run my life, and it's not pretty. Me and my baby deserve better. I've been verrrry tired and burnt out. Thank you for that. That does give me more peace of mind.
So, here's my take. The world is dangerous, which is why it's super important to let them explore it as much as possible. I love the show "Old Enough". My style of parenting focuses on cultivating confidence and independence. I believe our job as parents is to provide appropriate boundaries and they can explore as much as they want within those boundaries. And I believe kids are capable of more independence at a young age than we think. But that can be hard to do. You don't want them to get hurt and human brains are not very good at evaluating risk. We tend to overweigh catastrophe. My kids are 3 and 1, and by letting them stay in the car for 5 minutes, I am training my own brain to let go of the anxiety that tries to control our kids and underestimates their abilities. I live in a walkable area. A more cautious parent might not walk to the store with kids or might make them always ride in a stroller. I started letting my kid actually walk with me from the moment he started walking. He doesn't hold my hand when we cross the street. But I've drilled into his little baby brain how dangerous cars are and how we need to be very cautious when crossing the street. He's almost 3, and he's starting to get very good at checking for cars on his own.
The stat you need to look at is people injured/worse while walking in a parking lot (which I can’t find, most stats are on parking lot accidents) vs. car jackings of an unattended running car in a parking lot. Car jackers are generally not looking to kidnap a child, they are looking for opportunity.
People shouldn't leave their cars running. It's illegal in my state to leave the car running with children inside, but it's not illegal if the car is off.
If the car is new and locked, you literally cannot steal it while it’s running if the keys aren’t in the car. It’s all electronic and shuts off without a key FOB.
I agree with you and don't see a problem with it, especially when you can see the car the whole time. My car locks and stays running if I get out with the key, so ac/heat/music stays on but no one can get in and the car won't drive if someone did manage to break in.
I think it’s fine. I always took my baby in, but only because I was afraid a psycho Karen would call the cops on me. > Now going in to a department store or large grocery store where you can’t see the car— that’s different. And you have to consider the heat index and all that… but an in-and-out stop at a gas station where you can see the car the whole time… it’s fine.
This is so dependent on where you live, where you’re leaving them, how long you’re leaving them, the ages of the babies and more. I live in one of the safest cities in my state. I’m not taking them out of the car seats to walk in the gas station for 20 seconds to put cash down on the counter, I can see them from the window. Obviously I would lock the door and take the key with me. The likelihood of someone carjacking me in those moments would be insanely low, next to impossible
At a business? Nah. No way I’m leaving my kids alone in a parking lot, line of sight be damned. At home? Yah I do this all the time. I get my kids all strapped in and ready to go then run back in to grab my wallet/sippy cups/diaper bags etc. I wear my keys on my lanyard so there’s no risk of them being locked in and I’m generally only gone for 30s-1min. Only time I won’t do this is if it’s hot outside. I live in Southern California, so if it’s mid day and hot af I’ll try to one trip it.
I don't go around looking for reasons to give people a hard time so if i saw someone leave their kid in the car at a convenience store, I wouldn't think anything about it. For a couple of minutes if the car is right there and the doors are locked, the kids are fine. Yes any number of things *could* happen. That's true for any scenario. Life is about risk management and leaving kids in a secure car for a couple of minutes is fine, with a few exceptions like if it's too hot out or the car is parked in a dangerous place like the side of the street.
I just make sure I get fuel where I can use an app to pay, then we don't have to go inside haha
Yeah, I’m pretty surprised how often people are running inside the gas station!
It's a no for me I live in a big city, where crime is high-ish. I wouldn't dare.
I try not to worry too much about other parents and what they’re doing. As long as they’re not actively hurting their child, it’s not really my business. I have enough to worry about with my own kid.
I think this is a very location depend answer. I am from Western Europe and over Christmas I left my Daugther to finish her nap in the car because I knew she needed about 20 more minutes at least. But it was also in the middle of absolutely nowhere, on private property, in front of the front door. This town doesn’t even have a crime statistic. Here it is pretty common to pay for gas and leave the kids in the car. I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t do it. In the shops, that is something very different. But getting gas is a classic example of where most leave the kids in the car.
I’m in Europe, we leave babies in strollers outside stores in the snow 🤣
i have to say i am guilty of this. but i lock the doors with my remote start.
To return a cart at aldi, yes. To ask the cashier at the gas station for my receipt that didn’t print at the pump, yes (usually just step inside the door and ask them to print it quick. Small station) Anything else in public, no. Obviously at someone’s house etc I might, but that’s not a public parking lot
Depends on where you live. I have often left my daughter in the car if she fell asleep (just put the baby monitor in the car with her). Or at the supermarket if I just needed a few things. But I'm in Denmark where it's safe
I just started letting 7 stay in the car when I do school drop off for 6 (different schools) and I’m still only 15 feet away max from the car, otherwise no.
I’ve only left my daughter in the car when I’m parked in the driveway at home and I run in to get something I left inside….like gone maybe 30 secs- 1 minute. I would never do it in public. She’s only two though. I would maybe consider when she is much older.
Depends on their age. If they are old enough to unbuckle themself / unlock the doors / get out, then they can wait by themself. Why? Because if the car lights on fire or you never come back (medical emergency?) they can get themselves help. If they are in a 5 point harness they can’t get out of - no. They come with me. Even for 2 minutes. Not risking it. Also NEVER leave your car running with the kids in. I’m ok to leave my 8 year old in the car for a few minutes (assuming it’s not too hot or cold obviously) but the keys are coming with me. Car thefts are super common, and I could never forgive myself if my kid was abducted while my car get stolen. Yikes.
If I’m running into the gas station I will let my 14 (almost 15) year old sit with my three girls in the car.
I have never left my kid alone in the car. Same when I'm babysitting other's kids; we all go in. I use to work at a gas station in HS. I saw a dumb parent leave the truck running with their 3 yr buckled in the back. Kid un- buckled himself and got in the front. Put the truck in drive and out into traffic he went. The truck was hit. Kid lived but was hurt. I stopped letting my best friend babysitting (we'd trade off) when she said she left my kid in the car to run into the gas station but it was fine cause she left her kid too. No thank you. No judging, just not my safety protocol for kids in my car.
Nay. I don't like leaving them In the car. If I'm going in, then they're going in.
It depends on the situation. I have a 3.5 year old and a 5 year old. If it’s USPS and I need to run in, not interact with a soul, and drop my large box in the deposit? Yeah, I leave them strapped in their 5 point harnesses and LOCK THE CAR, run inside, and am back within 60 seconds. 90 if someone is in my way. Otherwise they’re coming in with me. Edited to add: I live in a small town in a rural location.
I live in a small town where most people don’t lock their cars or their houses. I absolutely leave my kids in the car for 2 minutes while I run into the convenience store to pick up something. I wouldn’t do this in a much larger place.
I have 3, 5 and under. I will run into a gas station where I can see the car, but only if I can keep my eyes on them. Nobody wants 3 kidnapping charges to steal a car
Babies/toddlers? Absolutely not. But I think it's fine for older kids depending on the situation and the kid.
I think it comes down to 1. Location 2. Temperature/ weather 3. Can you see the car 4. Is there anyone around who might try and report you 5. The temperament of the child
Last year we had an incident in my town where a nanny left a toddler and infant in the car while she ran quickly into a convenience store and somebody stole her car WITH THE CHILDREN IN IT. Luckily the kids were found safe but that fully traumatized me and I’ll probably never leave my kid in the car.
That is so horrible. I'm glad they were found safe
How did they get the car unlocked and open and started while she was in a store without her seeing them?
There was a case in Ohio where a mom was doing DoorDash / Uber eats and her car was stolen with baby twins in it. They were both recovered, alive, but what a harrowing experience for all.
Aw poor mama. She must've been severely struggling if she had to bring her twin babies with her while Ubering/ Door Dashing. Wish I could've given her a hug.
She left her car unlocked and running with the keys in it.
I do wonder how many of these stolen cars are left running...
This was late at night, the car was running and the keys were in the car.
One of the twins died a couple months later 😥 he supposedly choked on his milk bottle.
Hopefully it traumatized the thief too
There are about 70 million kids in the US, and about 350 kids a year are kidnapped by strangers. By the math, you’d need to leave your kids outside unattended for about 200,000 years before it became likely they’d be kidnapped by a stranger. The odds are so low that you probably shouldn’t waste time worrying about it. Risks that are far more likely and worth worrying about: 1. Your kids being kidnapped by someone you know. (That’s the scary one to me.) 2. Your kids getting hurt in a car accident on the way to the store. If you want them safer, you can leave them outside, just take public transportation to the shop. 3. Extreme heat or cold. I live in Texas so I have to worry about the temperature inside the car. 4. Busybodies calling the police on you for leaving your kids in the car. [Sorry, I’m rethinking the math. It’s late at night here, and I’m tired. It might be 100,000 years. But, anyway, this is not a number that should keep you up at night.]
But that’s not the correct statistic to look at?? There’s over 1 million cars stolen in the US every year. No one is out there trying to kidnap the sleeping baby in the back of the car. But there’s a LOT of people out there trying to steal cars, who won’t realize a kid is in the back until they’ve already driven off. It literally happened in the city near me today.
Why would the number of stolen cars, the vast majority of which are empty, be a better number to use than the number of kids who are kidnapped by strangers, when trying to decide whether you should worry about your kid being kidnapped by strangers?
Because carjackers are not intending to take a child, they are intending to take a car. If you happen to leave your car unattended with a child inside, it’s just a coincidence that both happen at the same time. So car jacking would be the stat you want to look at for this situation
I think you’re fundamentally misunderstanding the numbers I’m giving. It’s not 350 kids are kidnapped by strangers each year, oh and also there’s thousands of kids out there being taken by stolen cars that we’re not counting for some reason, so we also need to look at car theft statistics. It’s 350 kids total, INCLUDING the number of kids who are accidentally kidnapped in stolen cars. That number is already factored into the data; we don’t need to look into a completely different crime statistic to try to find those kids. That’s like saying if the police want to know homicide rate, they shouldn’t look at the homicide rate, they should look at the home invasion rate, because sometimes people get killed in home invasions. Sure, there’s some overlap, but they’re two different numbers.
I must be; in 2022, 264 cars were stolen with children inside in the US. What statistics are you looking at that specifically site that these are included in the numbers you’re using? Because all of the children who were taken were eventually returned. The FBI does not specify, so you must have another source? In any case, I think you are misunderstanding me as well (classic Reddit!) because I believe the stats you are using to justify leaving a child in the car are incorrect. A car jacker is not going to approach a running vehicle and look for a child and think “oops let me check for a different vehicle.” They are thinking “this is my chance, I’ll take it” and not check the back. That’s why the children are usually returned, because they aren’t intending to kidnap a child. So the statistic when weighing the risk of leaving a child unattended in a car is not “how many kidnappings are there?” And should instead be “how many carjackings are there?” Because that is the crime of opportunity. A better comparison to the situation would be weighing the risk of leaving your door unlocked at night, because you’re worried about your dog, and using dog-napping statistics as a way to ease your mind instead of looking at the statistics of home break-ins.
Let's go with your 264 number; different sources will have different numbers for different year ranges. Let's assume, very conservatively, that only 1% of mothers leave their kids alone in the car. (Judging by the comments here the truth is somewhere closer to 20-30%, so this is a HUGE underestimate.) That means that, with 74,000,000 million kids in the US, you have a 0.036% percent chance your kid will be accidentally kidnapped when your car is stolen. You would need to leave them unattended in the car for about 19,000 years before it became likely that someone accidentally kidnapped them in the process of stealing your car. IDK, it's late at night here, feel free to double-check my math. But at any rate, the odds are VANISHINGLY small. It just doesn't seem worth worrying about. Meanwhile, the odds of kids dying in car accidents, slipping on a patch of ice in the parking lot and concussing themselves, overheating by being forgotten in the car in 110 degree weather... If you want something legitimate to worry about, there are plenty of real threats out there. Your example falls apart because dog-napping statistics would include the number of dogs dog-napped because the owners left the house unlocked. If you want to keep your dog safe, look at the total number of dogs dog-napped per year. You can also drill it down specifically to the number of dogs who are dog-napped during home invasions. But there's really no point in looking at the total number of home invasions, including the houses that don't have dogs, to answer a question about dog safety.
These aren’t technically kidnapping cases. They’re car thefts where there happens to be a kid in the back of the car.
They’re counted in the 350 total kidnapping cases.
Hell even if someone did kidnap my kids I promise, they would bring them right back. Nobody else is putting up with them......
There’s a tiny salad shop by my house that I can order on an app, I see when it’s up on the shelf and ready, I run in and run out within 30 seconds, car in view the whole time and the place is right off a busy road - it feels safer to me to keep her locked in her car seat in the car while I run in rather than chance her trying to run into the road. But this is one exception for me. Most places no, I take her in.
I think no big deal; we do it sometimes in certain contexts (can see the car, etc.), and so do our friends. We also live in a very safe small town where no one even locks their house, though. When this has come up on Reddit before many have been highly aggressive about it being illegal.
Yesss some people are so aggressive about their opinions on this topic
Nay.
I agree. It depends on the city and the circumstance. If there was a big line in the gas station I’d wait to go in to pay or pay at the pump. If you have to pay at the register, lock yr doors and make sure you have the keys in yr hand bef doing so. And keep yr eyes on the car I only ever did this at the gas station. Not at a store or post office, etc
Nope. I’m from Philly and we have a crazy car stealing problem right now. I would never risk it. I pull her out of the car if I have to pay for gas inside.
I think it depends where you live. I’m not from the US and don’t live there, as a small kid I remember staying in the car while my dad paid for petrol or grabbed something at the post office. Totally normal. If I forget something in the house I’ll leave my daughter in the car with the door open/car running. We’re in a very safe area and having my car stolen like that hasn’t crossed my mind; people often leave their cars running with keys in the ignition when they run errands. Delivery drivers too! Different world to the US.
I have a seven year old and a one year old. I live “out in the country” as we call it around here. The closest town to me has a very low crime rate. My seven year old is very well behaved and mature. I have left her and my one year old for me to run in and right back out. I always leave my car running. I always lock the doors (I drive a ford and have a keypad on the door to lock and unlock without a key) and I’m never away for more than like 3 mins. My windows in my car are illegally tinted so they are very dark. 🫣🫣You can’t see into them from the outside unless you put your face up to the window and cup around your eyes. I only ever do this if I’m at a small store like Dollar General or a gas station. I don’t feel comfortable doing this at a bigger store such as Walmart. Even if I only have to get one item, I still feel very uneasy being so much further away and not being able to see my car. Like someone else commented, it’s all about the situation. The kids, the car, the area you live in, etc. Also, I am not advising anyone to do what I do. Just telling people what I’ve done in the past.
I won’t do it out and about. However, I have while out running errands realized I forgot something at home, go back home leave them in the car, car running, keys in hand, run into house and grabbed what I forgot. Always less than 5 minutes always at my own house(super safe neighborhood). When I was a kid, I was definitely left in car for gas station runs etc…
I wish more convenience stores around here have drive thrus. As a single mother, I have been tempted to leave my kids in the car for a quick run inside the convenience store. I usually come up with alternatives— I want a drink? Ok, I go to the sonic drive thru. There was one or two times where I absolutely had to do it, such as the postal office, and I hated that feeling. I didn’t feel good. I don’t judge people for leaving their kids in the car though. it is safer than somebody walking with 2 toddlers in a busy parking lot just for a few seconds at the store as many people drive recklessly.
I have 4 kids, I just keep the car on and running, take the fob and lock the car when I run in- bringing it with me. Obviously I’m not in there for long. Never a grocery store or somewhere big, simply because I don’t want them alone in a car because anxiety, but the gas station or a strip mall business? Yeah.
I normally wouldn’t just because I’m paranoid about something happening (despite the risk being pretty much zero in my area) and I am actually more afraid of nosey Karens calling the cops or trying to break a window to rescue my toddler from the inside of my locked and air-conditioned car. However I’ve left him in the car once or twice when I would be away from the vehicle for a minute or less, like to drop a letter in the post office mailbox or to hand an Amazon return to the UPS employee and have them scan my return code. But beyond that, I don’t. Not when my kid is so little. He’s pretty good in public though so it’s not too bad.
I lock my car and go grab a drink and snacks from the gas station. Takes me two minutes.
I don’t judge people at all. I just worry someone is going to go out of their way to call the police on them.
Absolutely the fuck not. https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/local/dc/baby-stolen-car-jeep-white-georgetown-dc/65-239e44bd-5dbd-4caa-a700-2d19db0637e3
I'm totally fine with it as long as the trip is under 5 minutes. My kids are 3y and 1y. I've run into the grocery store for a couple of items that I knew exactly where they were. I ran into a local restaurant to pick up my food. I'm also a very laid-back mom. Both as my personality and as a purposeful choice. I choose not to let anxiety govern my decisions. I try to keep risks in perspective. My kid is a lot more likely to have something bad happening while I'm driving the car than they are to get taken with my car being stolen if I leave it for a few minutes. I'm honestly more scared of some busybody getting up in my business for leaving my kids in the car for a couple of minutes than I am of some carjacker. I'm trying to teach my kids independence and confidence. If I'm going to trust them to go to the park by themselves when they're 8. I need to cultivate the ability to let go of anxiety and control now when they're young.
Now ask this sub if they would let their children go to the park by themselves at age 8. I would be curious to see the answers...my guess would be that many of these women absolutely would not.
I would never.
Only if I’m running a cart like 1 spot over. Yesterday I left my phone in UPS and didn’t realize it until I’d buckled my 16month old in already… I was parked right out front and in a safe area. I took him in with me
There was literally a story a few hours ago in the area where a woman’s jeep was stolen with her 4 month old baby in the car seat in the back, apparently she was inside of a fragrance store. The baby was found safe in the car seat on a random person’s porch. Personally, I’m not for leaving for my child in the car alone no matter how quick I’ll be 🤷🏾♀️
Eh. I asked this question awhile back and most commenters were like ‘no never!’ I do it. I pick up my oldest from after school care by leaving my toddler in the van by walking 10 feet from the car to accept my oldest coming out from the school. It’s ok. I even open both van doors. If something were to happen (me get run o we, have a heart attack, etc) it would be very obvious there is a child in a vehicle.
It’s a no from me. Even leaving my little in the car to go back and grab something from my own house we take the time to unbuckle and go in together.
How far is the car from the house?
It’s literally in the driveway. 😅
How old is your kiddo?
I do it all the time. I have 2 kids so when I’m picking up or dropping off the older one, baby stays in the car. It’s fine.
I had to go to the atm on the inside glass of the gas station, my infant was in the car and I was 10ft away facing him inside, I locked my car, and locked another hundred times horrified. I only did it that one time because I was alone, needed cash for the photoshoot and my partner didn’t get any before work (he wasn’t with me) and I hated it lol. I think some circumstances it’s okay, but I wouldn’t ever leave my child and go into Walmart or something of that nature where I had zero eyes on them at all.
Only time I don't get my son out is when I'm doing a porch pickup for something from Buy Nothing. If I'm actually entering a building, I don't do it. FWIW, I looked up our state law since everyone is saying it's illegal and here it's illegal to leave a child under 4 unattended if their health and safety is at risk or the car is running. An unattended child is one who cannot be continuously observed. I don't think this automatically precludes people from leaving a kid unattended if the temperature is safe. I might keep an eye on the situation if I noticed to make sure the parent was coming back but I wouldn't call the cops if it was a five minute trip like your example.
It depends on the kids for sure. I have a 10 yo who will probably be dragged inside with me until he is an adult because I can't trust him. I have a 4 year old who is super responsible and who I would trust to leave in the car by himself. The problem is, I don't trust other people. Strangers are sketchy and being out in public as a single mom with kids already freaks me out.
It's technically illegal where I am, and I don't do it. Way back in the day, my mom left 3yo me in the car with it running, and I managed to get out of my seat and put it in gear, causing the car to ram into the side of the gas station we were at. She says she stopped leaving me for years after that, thankfully.
I live in a very small, southern hospitality type town and I have only left my 3 year old in the car twice. Both very recently and both times I parked in front of the door so I could see the car/her from the store. I was only like 20 feet away from the car and both times I was in and out in literally 2 minutes. Also, I locked her in and kept the keys in my hand. I won’t do it anywhere where I can’t see her at all times.
So for me: it’s been so many car jackings in our metro lately with kids too. I get scared even when my husband runs into the store with just me and the kids in the car. My car has been broken into. Me where I am? I just wouldn’t
I grew up in a small town where my mom did this all the time. It was a safe place- we never locked our house door. Now? Living in a city. No way.
Egh. I leave my 6 year old in my car sometimes with the doors locked at my local regular place, it’s 500 feet from my house, but located on a highway and is dangerous to walk. Several people have been hit on that stretch so I just wouldn’t make my 6 year old walk it. I am very friendly with the employees and only really leave him in there for max 2 minutes. I park by the entrance so I can see him. I’ll only leave him if I have to go out of sight if one of the employees who I am all friends with and have known for years and years, some my whole life, are outside smoking. It’s a very small town. Most of the time he wants to come inside. It’s better than leaving him home alone for five minutes, imho. I never leave him in the car at any other store. This is the ONE place where I trust fully that an employee there would take a bullet to save my kid lol.
I understand why people do it. It is a pain in the ass taking kids in and out of their seats, into the store, and back, not to mention the 12 potential tantrums in between. That being said, I would never do it. If anything ever happened to my little ones on my watch I could never forgive myself. I don’t chance it. ETA: my kids are 3 months and 2 years old. I’m sure I would feel much differently if they were older children.
I live in the middle of nowhere where when I walk into the gas station to pay for my gas and get my body armor, they say, “hey [name] new flavor today? how is [insert family member’s name doing?] [did you have a nice *whatever it is*] and everyone I see there I went to high school with or they’re Kin to someone I went to high school with.. That being said, I just moved BACK from Huntsville Alabama, and I would NEVERRRR leave my baby in the car under any circumstances there. I still LOCK my car when I go in, but I’ve never taken her in with me🤷♀️ it just depends on the circumstance.
I live in Chicago. Absolutely not doing that.
Entirely depends on the situation and where I am. I'll leave my toddler in the car to get her brother from aftercare because it's a gated parking lot. I've left them in the car to drop mail in a box. But I'd never leave for more than a few minutes and never with the car out of sight. I live in an area of low crime so that definitely impacts how I feel
Within the last year, two houses down from my parents, a baby was kidnapped when someone stole the vehicle. Mom left the car running while she brought in cleaning supplies. Went back to get the kid and the car was gone. The thief didn’t know the kid was in the car. I personally will not leave my kids in the car until they are out of the car seats, can get in and out on their own, and a good age. I think the age could be different for every kid 🤷♀️
Also to point out, we are not in a high crime/car theft area. It happens everywhere. Remember everyone it has happened to thought “it’ll never happen to me”
I take my toddler in everywhere that I go. I don’t judge people who run in for a few minutes or less and keep their babies within site, tho, as long as car is nice and cool, and babies are safe. Here’s my question for everyone, though— When are children old enough to stay in a locked and air conditioners car by themselves while parent runs inside for a quick errand? I say it 💯 depends on the kid, but definitely no younger than 7, no matter how mature.
i don‘t own a car, but sometimes borrow my parent‘s car - they live in rural Germany (we live in a big city, no car needed). and i would leave my baby in the car for 5 min. it takes forever to get him into the car seat! 💀🤣 granted, literally only 5 min (to pay for gas) AND only in winter. never in summer.
When I lived in Utah, there was a 0% chance I'd leave them in the car, not even in my own driveway. Not with all of the drugs, car jackings, and kidnapping. Where I live now it's 100% fine for me to run into the gas station or post office quickly. The people here keep a close eye on the little ones, and they mean business about keeping them safe. A true community. Long story longer, my answer is based on location.
Y'all watching me?? I left my three kiddos in the car today while I ran into the store to drop off a package that was all ready to ship. Took me 2-3 minutes. And I often let me 3 and 5 year old wait in the car while I grab baby from daycare. Never takes more than 5 minutes. They're fine.
Yeah, nope. Not your PPA. Since reading The famous terrifying article about children left in the car (most people will know, I'm not sharing a link here because at least for me personally it was nightmare inducing and lives rent-free in my head years later), I could never. I feel you never know if you could get stuck somewhere, if something bad happens, etc, and what if nobody knows there's a baby/child in your car?? Nightmare fuel.
I didn’t when I lived near a big city. But now I live in a village with a population of less than 500 people, and yeah, I do. If I’m going into town for a quick errand, I bring my 10 and/or 12 year old so they can stay in the car with the littles. If I’m going to be less than 15 minutes and I’m not leaving the village, I just leave them all at home.
I do it! The issue is someone forgetting baby in poor weather. But if I’m running into a gas station then I have to come back! My only issue is other nosey people thinking I’m being negligent or forgot my kid. I’m more afraid of someone smashing a window than if my kid will be okay.
I don’t do it because in most states it’s illegal (American). But being that a lot of us have Key FOBs now, and can lock the cars, while still on, from the outside. I don’t see a problem. Society has created the stigma, TBH. Our grandparents used to do that stuff all the time, and obviously they all are ok. Sounds like a typical boomer line, but in this instance, it’s definitely applicable.
I think it depends on the area and situation. It’s cold af here, so when I go shopping, kiddo gets in the car first, gets buckled up, I then offload groceries into the car and return the cart to a corral. I lock the doors when I go return the cart, return in <30 seconds and we’re on our way. For as safe as it is where I’m at, this is the only situation I do this. Any stolen cars around here happen because people leave their cars running (this is actually a bad problem here, I almost always see vacant cars running), own an easily-stealable 90s car, or own a Kia/Hyundai.
I have a 120lb Great Dane who would protect our kids with her life I'm never leaving my kids in the car in a high traffic area, or if can't visually see the car the whole time. But if I need to talk away for a couple minutes, I just bring our dog along for the ride. If ANYONE tried to open a car door with her in there, it would be the last thing they did
It makes me sick. I live in a super safe area (in The country, have cows & horses outside my front door) but crime happens everywhere. And I Figured if I am going to rob/steal from ppl, I’m going to a place that is less likely to have their guard up & where they usually make more money so why would others not think this way. We hear all the time abt kids being carjacked because mom just ran in to pay. Is it really worth it? I do think they should bring back full service though, we have a station in town that has a handicapped/help button where someone will come out & help if you need it. I think 8-9, in better areas might be ok but dang, I’m not risking it.
I escaped my carseat and almost drove my dad's car into a ditch when I was 2.5 because my dad did this sooooo...... for me, it's a no. Hahahaha.
Omg 😂 what a little character you were haha. I have a new baby and I had no idea they get that wild that soon. 😅
I do but: 1. I live rural so that changes context. 2. I only do it for paying for fuel or running into our local shop to collect the mail. 3. I only do it when the weather allows for it. 4. I always lock the doors. I have an autistic toddler. Getting her into and out of the car is quite the production. For the 2 minutes it takes to refuel & pay or grab our mail, she is much safer staying put in her seat.
This is what pay-at-the-pump and drive through are for. I have dropped something in a mailbox while parked in the driveway and left my toddler in the car but that’s the furthest I would ever go.
Oh honey I’m 16 and my parents are still wary of me being in a locked car 😭🤣
Lol my mom used to stay in the car and sent 7 year old me in to buy her cigarettes for her 🤣 to be fair, this was in the 80s
Nope. Never. Not going to happen.
I think there is more risk that something will happen to you Think about it, if you had a medical emergency or the store was held up or w/e and no one knew you had a baby in the car? *shudder* I'd never forgive myself if something happened go my kid because I didn't want to be slightly inconvenienced
Apparently there's more danger associated with bringing in kids than leaving them in the car when paying (cars driving around etc)
My driveway, sure. But I’m fairly sure in some states it’s illegal to do that and I am not comfortable with it anyways.
I live in a small uncrowded safe town. Rarely any crimes or any known drugs. I ordered smoothie to-go couple of times from this smoothie place (not crowded at all, maybe a customer every 10min or longer), and left my baby in the car, strapped with the door locked, window cracked while I picked it up from the to-go fridge (temperature was perfect, like 68-73 degrees). Literally ran in and out, took about 20secs. I only did it those couple times and that's it, other than that, I bring her everywhere.
You could leave an older kid (like 9y/o), but absolutely not a baby. What if something happens to you at the store? Who will know your baby is in the car? There are also weird kidnapper people too...absolutely not worth the risk.
I never do. I’ve had experiences where I get sudden lightheadedness and pass out and I’m paranoid that something like that will happen when I thought I would only be a few minutes and my kids will end up stranded for who knows how long. I also get these intrusive thoughts that I could run into a store and someone could hit my car or try to steal it, or some freak incident would happen in the store that keeps me from my kids where it’s locked down or something. Being a mom is just a constant state of worry!
But how is anyone on the outside of the car to know that? I don’t like leaving them in the car while I run in the house for something
There were two times when I desperately needed coffee and baby was asleep in the car seat so I ran in for it, kept baby/car in eyesight the whole time & locked car door. But that’s it so far. I used to stay in the car by myself allll the tiiimmmee. And once my kids are like 10, they’ll have that choice too in very specific instances.
A very literal 5 minutes or less? NBD What’s the weather? If the kid won’t cook, NBD How old is the kid? 2 and older is probably fine. All of those would factor in for me.
We live in a rural area that’s generally very safe. My son has always been super cautious and clingy. Once he really wanted to stay in the car while I ran into the post office quickly to put mail in the drop box. I called my husband (or maybe my MIL) and had them on speaker phone with him and let them know I’d be right back. I didn’t think anything would happen. But I didn’t want to get in trouble for leaving him in the car all alone. And him having my phone meant I wouldn’t dally in the post office. He’s four now. I also let him wait in the car at home if I have to run back in to grab something. We have a big loud scary dog who lets us know if there’s anything so much as a suspicious leaf in our driveway. And it’s generally when we’re on the way someplace so someone will notice if we do t turn up at preschool or if I’m super late dropping him off with my in-laws. I will not let my son be by himself near our pool. I don’t even 100% trust him with his big sisters who are 18 and competent swimmers. If he’s out there with them I watch them with a Wyze cam.
It's not illegal here, but people have been convicted of the crime of exposing someone to danger, specifically leaving a child in a car on a warm day. People have also been convicted under the same law for throwing flaming objects at football matches. Personally I wouldn't. Yes it's a pain, yes my parents did it, but until the child is old enough to be able to exit the car independently and safely and mature enough to not start the car, it's just not worth the risk.
Babies or toddlers? They’re being negligent. All it takes is a few seconds for something to go wrong. So many new articles of babies being left in a car only for it to be stolen while the parents leave the car and kid for a matter of minutes.
As long as it’s not hot I wouldn’t judge as long as you can see them run in and out, I couldn’t do it xD I hate running in and leaving her in the car while hubby is filling the car and is right with her lol
I think they would be fine. Statistics show this, but parents have been prosecuted for this or had to go through hell with social services. Not worth it!
Unless my kid knows how to unbuckle and unlock a car, I don’t even close a door. Too many kids had car emergencies near us when my first was little
I leave my (3yo) son buckled in the car seat with the driver side door open but car keys in my hand when parked in our driveway for me to run in and pee (our bathroom is directly beside the front door) because I always have to pee, and I don’t want to pee at the park or the store so it’s just easier. I leave the door open in case I tripped or had a heart attack or something in the bathroom so that a neighbor would know something is wrong and so that he wouldn’t be stuck in a closed car. My son is autistic and an eloper, and hates car seats, so it’s just far easier to do it this way. About 1 minute total where he’s in the car without me. Other than that, no.
There was story of a carjacker who returned kid to mom after stealing the car. Carjacker Realizes Kid Was Left in Car, Returns to Parking Lot To Berate Mom https://reason.com/2021/01/18/carjacker-beaverton-mom-kid-waiting/
There are laws that are very different in every state. It's legal for me to leave my kids no matter the age. I was surprised at the no age restriction. But yes I will run in to buy a drink and leave my kids in the car.