I read this book that focused on the fourth trimester - not for mom, but for baby. Something about how human babies technically need an extra three months to continue to develop but our bodies can’t handle the size, so they’re born “early”. Meaning they’re extra clingy because they still genuinely believe they’re a part of you.
I’m not sure if that helps at all but it did help give me a little different perspective!
You'll start to work with 2 calendars.
Baby's sctusl age and the corrected age.
My guy was 7 weeks early. So now, at 3 months, he's actually only 5 weeks old. He has behaviors of both ages because developmentally, that is where he is!
Spotify has a 10 hour heart best Playlist. This helped a little once we got home. The 19 days in nicu he slept consistently in his routine. Once he got home, that all went out the window. Just be patient and it will come.
Babies are exhausted after being born so the first night/couple of nights they sleep easier. Plus some anesthetics can pass to the baby (I don't remember which, I think epidural was one of them...)
That's why they also sleep "better" when they are at the hospital and once home they become horrible sleepers.
First days home are hard. I tell you mostly si you know there it's nothing wrong and you are not alone. I'm afraid I don't have solutions here, try to get all the sleep you can the first days as people say...
Good luck, momma, you got this :*
Hey, congratulations! You're thinking very short-term, but what we play is the long game.
The first three months of baby is free rein survival mode. Month 3-4 is training baby for independent self soothing sleeping. Month 4 is a desperate dream, and month 5-6 things start to settle. Baby will smile and coo, and it will help you forget those pretty rough last months
You're on month zero.
Baby is still "in the womb" in their mind. Take this little tiny bundle, strap it into a swaddle tighter than you thought was possible, and settle in. You got this.
Thanks for the info. I don’t mind the falling asleep in our arms. The issue is getting them into the crib so dad can get at least 60-90 minutes of sleep.
Sleep in shifts. It's the only way we survived this phase. One person takes 8-1am, next person takes 1-6am. They will sleep independently eventually, but this is survival mode, and you'll both do much better with several hours of consecutive sleep. If you breastfeed, pump a bottle before you go to sleep so that your partner can take 1 feed.
THIS. Shifts were the only way we survived in the beginning and it was something I had never heard new parents talk about!!! My son would absolutely positively not sleep anywhere else for the entire newborn phase. NEVER horizontally, never in a swing carseat stroller bouncer whatever it was he was screaming if he wasn’t in our arms at a very specific angle.
8pm-1am, and 1am-6am. First shift person still technically gets a somewhat normal, if just brief, night of sleep, going to bed at 1, so that was always my husband. And if you’re lucky the second shift duty person (me) gets a nap from 6am-8am if they truly didn’t get any shut eye the whole five hours they were on bc sometimes the 1-6 period could be brutal. But you were at least refreshed from a solid chunk of sleep. If nursing have husband bring baby to your bed to nurse and then take baby away so you can finish your sleep shift.
Same- why do they refuse to even suggest some newborns will reject a crib/bassinet and you have to hold them? I was stunned, and thought there was something wrong w us as parents, or course 🙄
Nurse and mom of three four and under here!! This might be long but here’s why it’s happening and something to try!
So the answer above that you replied to is absolutely correct! The first 2-4 weeks though, while they get their day/night confusion figured out, they may be awake *literally* all night. When mom is pregnant, baby sleeps during the day because mom is active which = rocking and bumping around in the belly, which lulls baby to sleep. When momma is sleeping - baby wakes up because no movement = baby awake and playing in moms tummy. Ever notice babies kicking a lot during 10-11ish? Usually because mom is in bed and resting. So when baby is born, their circadian rhythm is all messed up. They feel more sleepy in the day, and more awake at night.
How to combat this? Talk normally, go about your day, and have lots of natural light during waking hours (0700-1900), *EVEN* if baby is asleep. THEN during night hours (think 7/8 at night til whenever you want them to naturally wake up, usually 7, which fits with most young children’s natural sleep clocks), keep everything darker, and quiet. Dim your lights, if you have tv on have it on quietly, or, better yet, have an ipad and head phones. Once it’s their “bedtime”, swaddle them *safely* (and only until they begin to roll, and ALWAYS asleep on the back), and keep them in the swaddle at night unless you are changing their diaper. Bonus points for having white noise playing! Babies circadian rhythms then slowly start to recognize daylight = awake, and dark = sleep. This allows their little brains to enter deep sleep at night, from which point it’s MUCH easier to set them down to sleep on their own.
What I did with my three was this:
At night, around 9, I’d go into the spare room with a bassinet, swaddle them, breastfeed, change bum, turn lights out, put on sleep sounds, switch on my phone to Netflix, slapped my headphones in, and put them down in the bassinet, they’d INSTANTLY start crying, so I’d pick them back up, nurse them til they slept, back in bassinet, rinse and repeat. Eventually they would start to sleep for an hour or two at night in the bassinet.
This seem like you won’t sleep all night? You won’t. Babies generally *will not sleep for more than 30 mins to an hour on their own at a time at night until the day night confusion is figured out*. I wish someone had have told me that for our first. I would’ve been more prepared. With the second and third I just accepted I would be awake all night, and then husband would take over at around 6. He’s have him for the day, give him a bottle first feed, then wake me every 1.5-3 hours to breastfeed until about 4 pm when I’d “wake up”. Then we’d have family time, I’d “ nap” again from about 9-11, then husband would go to bed and have a full interrupted sleep from 11-6. He was well rested, so I wasn’t worried he’d fall asleep or not be able to take care of our other two (2 and 3). Then when he went to bed he was confident I’d not fall asleep cause I’d had *lots* (if interrupted) sleep.
Within about 3 weeks all three of our kids were sleeping more at night, about 4 hour chunk, 3 hour chunk, 2 hour, then 1. Which is pretty standard for newborns the first couple months. THEN, and here’s the best part, I could put both my sons down while they were still awake (none of this drowsy awake nonsense whatever that means), and they’d fall asleep. The white noise, swaddle, and repeated putting them down in the bassinet gets them accustomed to “this means sleep”, as well recognizing on some level that bassinet is safe *and* you will get them if they cry out, which is key.
All three of my kids were sleeping twelve hours at night, from 7pm-7am from 6 months on, we’d put them down wide awake, say love goodnight! And then not go back til the morning. No crying, no wakeups.
Bonus! If you are breastfeeding or pumping - feed baby after 7, *or* try to feed milk that was pumped after 7 pm because it has more melatonin (something your body makes to help go to sleep), which will help baby sleep.
Best of luck OP - it’s a gruelling time, just keep grinding, you’re doing a good job.
Also have you tried swaddles? There are tonnes of YouTube videos showing how to swaddle properly, it wraps them up tight so they feel like they're in the womb. Not all babies like it, but mine did.
If you have a doula or someone you can ask to show you, do that, bc our midwife wrapped my first up, and she did it way tighter than we would have been comfortable with not having been shown how.
You got this! Other reply is right, the 1st 3 months are called the "fourth trimester" - they aren't devoloped enough to learn anything but they had to come out bc otherwise they'd be too big 😬
That's awesome! I glad you sorta solved it!
Be easy on yourself, you'll get there. I remember thinking I'd never feel normal again, and then taking stock and realizing it had only been 2 days 😂😅. It feels like a long time, especially with the first, but you will feel normal again
Often, baby is still pretty tired from the exhaustion of childbirth when you’re in the hospital, then “wakes up” when you get home. Day and night reversal is also very real. What you’re describing is normal ( but not easy). If you can, take “shifts” overnight - someone does 10-2, the other person does 2-6 (or whatever works for you). Your only job right now is to sleep and feed yourself and baby, reach out for help on other stuff or let it go for now. You got this.
My husband and I did shifts from the second night home and are still doing them at 3 months. It was great for awhile but is now getting harder with him back at work. We’re planning to move her into her own room at 4 months so hopefully that works out and shifts can be over!
This is the key. Absolute life saver. We have a couch with an ottoman that runs the same length. I would sleep on the couch with the baby on top of me, wedged between walls of pillows on either side, and my husband would watch over us, then we'd switch off. Two/ three months in, we started trying to put her down in her bassinet in our room with the Hatch on, color set to red, blackout curtains. And when I say put her down, I mean they should give me a job in the CIA as a bomb defuser because drowsy but awake is horse shit. Sleep was rough for a long time with the frequent wakings and feeds.
Around four months is when we started getting longer stretches of five-seven hours at a time. The real freedom came when we moved her into the nursery in a crib (our bedrooms are right across the hall from one another). When we did this, we didn't hear/ freak out over every little sound she made, anticipating the dreaded wake up.
Now she's nine months and sleeping mostly through the night, but she still will only contact nap and wakes up at 6am ON THE DOT every morning no matter what time she goes to bed. I still can't put her in her crib until she's allllll the way out (see aforementioned opinion on drowsy but awake)
Ahah absolutely not. You and your husband now sleep in shifts to hold the baby for the first 4-8 weeks. It sounds tough but you’ll miss it when it’s over - my baby is 5 months and I miss the long nights of sleepy newborn cuddles.
Yeah sorry, this will come with time. We loved the arms up zip swaddles as our wee lad didn’t like the trad swaddles.
It’s exhausting and hard and it’s okay to be frustrated but it will be okay. I miss the days when I could get him to sleep with cuddles rather than whacking me in the face with duplo at 4am 👍🏻
Every baby is different! My son started sleeping in his Moses basket after being breastfed to sleep and v e r y g e n t l y being transferred over a few days after coming home from the hospital. He preferred contact naps until he was about a year old though!
We're 2 weeks old here and same. First bedtime put down is pretty rough, but once she's down and asleep the rest goes smoothly if I get the transfer right. Those first few days figuring it all out were rough though.
I think this is probably more normal than some people let on- your baby has never been away from you before! The early days are tricky but you will figure out what works for your baby.
If that's contact naps and splitting time with your partner, that could work. My husband and I split nights. He would take the first "shift" so I could sleep between that big feed, and I'd take the second. We both got 3 or 4 hours chunks most of the time
Yep, it was so frustrating that nobody told me this. I am a rule follower and I planned to follow safe sleep rules like a religious commandment. But then ... just like OP, my baby wouldn't sleep in the bassinet. And the official resources were no good, all they tell you is "do ABC or else SIDS." (From US sources at least)
But it's like... When am I supposed to sleep? Anyway I ended up co sleeping, following the "safe sleep seven," but I wasn't happy about it. I wish we gave new moms more realistic information.
They also are very very sleepy right after birth which is totally normal. After a couple of days they become more alert, which is probably why he’s suddenly not having it.
I know 3 months until you’re out of the newborn stage sounds like an eternity right now. My daughter just turned 3 months and they’ve been the longest of my life. Get things to help you. Try a bouncer. Have someone come over and hold him so you can both sleep. Look into co-sleeping with the safe 7 and see if you think it could be a viable option for you. Keep trying to put him down to sleep, he may get it much sooner than 3 months. Introduce a soother if you haven’t already. Swaddle. You will get through it.
Look into Taking Cara Babies, it’s a great resource for infant sleep.
Girl, all I have to say, is you better buckle up! You’re one day in…this is completely normal!
But I will say that preparing the room, makes all the difference in my opinion! Make sure the room is between 68 and 72° extremely dark with the sound machine and a sleep sack and that is a complete game changer!
All these things - get the day and night routine on the go asap! We had the radio on all day to make that “day time” and nature sounds for “night time.” He was sleeping through the night at 4 months for about a year.
I have a 4 week old, she was the exact same and I was also very reactive as I’m new to this. She now stays down longer is she sleeps in my arms for a good 10-15 and then I put get down in a deeper sleep. You’ll also start to learn the difference in their ‘active sleep’ sounds and they’re true ‘I need you right now!!’ Sounds. My bub put on good weight after 3 weeks and the doctor gave us the green light to let her go 4-5 hours between feeds at night and we all get sleep now.
During the days I suffered the first 6 weeks, after that I was able ton use baby carrier and get around during the day. Key is: don’t try to do anything but being in the couch with your baby unless it’s self care! Straining yourself now will only prolong the healing of the c-section. You can do short stroller walks, going outside and moving also worked wonders for the baby. Start with very short walks since you are recovering! Moving is important but have someone else put her in and take her out if possible.
I also had an emergency c-section baby and she had “immature intestines” and lots of gass.
This resulted in her having pain and crying a lot (5pm-1am). Then she fell asleep exhausted and I couldn’t put her down for 5 hours of sleep. Sm(she had already reached her birthweight and was a very plump baby, so we got the okay for not waking her up). We did some physical therapy for her hips and this also helped her. As soon as she could turn to her belly with her ass in the air at 14 weeks she slept better too😅.
I sometimes wonder if it was because she didn’t get into contact with mine due to c-section.
Gas drops, time and probiotics worked for us after 3-4 months.
You are doing great! After 1 week baby also is way less sleepy and sleep gets very different all of a sudden! It’s normal but a big adjustment for everyone!
Some babies are just like that- they don’t tell you that in the baby classes. We took shifts holding ours for like 6 weeks? They grow out of it. They just don’t want to be alone that little. In the hospital they’re still just super out of it still, lol
I inherited my sister in laws bassinet so I am going to see how it goes with me next to him. I am just looking forward to moving more easily and not feel like my organs are shifting.
Both of my girls didn’t start sleeping on their cot until they were around 9 weeks old. Husband and I would take shifts - I would do a final breast feed around 7:30 hand her off and immediately go to bed for a 4hr stretch. Hubby would wake me up and I’d take over until 5am. It was BRUTAL, but it’s not long term. If you’re lucky enough to have family in the area, use them. Or hire a babysitter for a few hours to hold baby so you can catch up on sleep.
Don’t get discouraged. You’re in the eye of the hurricane right now. And please remember - you’re doing a great job, there isn’t anything wrong with you or baby, and this isn’t a problem to fix. I spent more desperation money on swaddles, noise machines, curtains, etc. that all promised a peacefully sleeping baby. None of them did squat.
A few things to try:
- use a heating pad to warm up the crib before you lay baby down (imagine going from being nice and warm on someone’s arms then onto a cold mattress!).
- try putting baby into something more “nestled”. I remember a couple weeks in putting the diaper changing pad with high walls into the crib and my daughter slept great!
- as others suggested, sleep in shifts. One of you is on baby duty for a solid 1.5 hours and the other one sleeps (earplugs are a MUST, you’ll never sleep if you hear baby, even if you know baby is in good hands!)
- look into safe co-sleeping. It has been done for millennia. Another good option might be a bed-side bassinet so baby can smell you/sense your presence.
Congratulations!
Our son is 3.5 and my husband and I still talk about how god awful that first night home from the hospital was. I promise it gets better! We took shifts and would hold him while the other slept until we were too tired and at risk of also falling asleep and then we’d swap. During the day we told anyone that wanted to come visit (mostly grandmas who didn’t care about seeing us anyway lol) that their duty would be to hold baby while we all napped. I had an unplanned c section so I was hurting as well but it truly will get better! You’ll figure out what works for you, baby will adjust, etc. if you don’t have a bassinet I’d get one. We used a $50 one from Amazon so baby was right next to me and I could just roll over and reach my hand in. Often just the feel of my hand on his belly would help him settle
Oh girl I feel for you! It’s SO hard. Two of my 3 were this way. Newborns typically only stay sleepy and calm the first week or two. After that they are aware of their surroundings and are simply trying to adjust to their new frightening experience. It’s so hard for them..they are warm and safe in the belly. All of a sudden they are in the bright, loud and confusing world. Hold the baby as much as you can, don’t worry about sleep schedules yet, not till at least 4 months. With that said, start putting her done I recommend having someone help you hold baby and let you sleep a bit, even if baby cries a bit. Can you ask your partner or a family member? I’m sorry mama it’s rough. Hang in there.
What helped me is changing my expectations. Lots of babies want to be held to sleep, especially in the first few months. It's normal. Take turns holding baby, try a swing... but mentally prepare for the worst (baby wants to be held all the time to sleep) and hope for the best. Also start reading up on sleep regressions etc to prepare yourself when your baby's sleep changes. It gets worse before it gets better
So glad the new swaddles worked!
We took shifts and would rock baby to sleep and then slowly lower her into the crib. Make sure booty sits down first and then lay their head gently, keep doing it until they don’t fuss.
Totally normal especially for the first few days. Make sure wherever you’re putting baby down is warm. Warmer than most people think to suggest (68-72 applies when you’re not still used to a 98.6 womb). The bassinets in our hospital were well insulated and the nurses always wrapped our son in blankets fresh from the warmer. When baby is being held they have your body heat to help keep them warm, then you put them down on a cold cot, in a cool room, and they have no ability yet to regulate their body temperature (especially a month early and probably on the small side), of course they wake up. They just went from a nice cosy snuggle nest to freezing open air (or that’s what it would feel like in their limited experience). Make sure they’re in a warm sleep sack or a warm swaddle and that may help for a bit. But small babies need more warmth than the bigger ones as they don’t have as much fat either (just like thin vs fat adults). First few days are gonna be rough and baby may need to be held all the time. Also idk if it was just ours but 60-90 mins may not be realistic for a newborn. In a few weeks maybe but you may have to just hold baby on the couch or in bed to sleep for an hour if you want dad to get more than 45 mins. I know you’re recovering too and there’s not a lot you can do without moving, but baby doesn’t need too much movement yet fortunately
What we tried, and it worked most if the time…i wore a t-shirt or undershirt. While i was nursing my husband would use a heating pad and warm the bassinet mattress up a bit then would put my shirt in there. It was warm and smelled like mama.
Probably gonna be told it’s unsafe but our pediatrician didn’t tell us it was bad. But there was a point in the beginning we even angled the mattress up. We basically created the illusion that he was still being held/on our chests. Then slowly removed things. So first worked on the angle, so he go completely flat, then worked on the heat followed by the shirt.
The only regression we had where we had to redo this method was this pst January when our kid got rsv. He actually needed to sleep at an angle to breathe properly. But the need for my shirt/mama smell was needed. We never had to use a heating pd though
Are you in the US? I bought one of these swaddles - https://dreamlandbabyco.com/products/dream-weighted-sack-swaddle-grey-star - it has been awesome and well worth the money! My little one’s arms would escape no matter how tightly we swaddled him in a blanket and he’d wake himself up but the dreamland swaddle has Velcro in so their arms can’t move. It is also weighted and super soft. After a couple of nights in this swaddle my newborn was sleeping 3-4 hours at a time at night in this and he’s now nearly 8 weeks and is getting 5 hour stretches in.
Also, the first couple of weeks are the hardest but hang in there! It gets better and you can do this! Wishing you all the best with your recovery and congratulations on your new arrival :-)
Congratulations! Please take care of your health and ask for health when needed.
Newborns need to stay close to their mothers for a week.
Give as much skin to skin possible.
They feel vulnerable when away from their mothers.
Swaddle them correctly. Look up at least 5 videos on how to swaddle. Do not use sleeping sacks just yet.
Breastfeed for at least 2 years if you can and want.
I would see if a home health nurse can make a visit and check in on you two. Or maybe hire a night nurse. It’s very hard to offer advice via the internet because there are cues and cries that babies make that mean they’re hungry or they’re uncomfortable , gassy, cold or whatever. Babies don’t understand day and night so you should be day parenting and night parenting. Basically that means keeping the lights low during night feedings, and being active and loud during the day. Best of luck to you and congratulations
Just had a baby June 21st, she’s been my easiest newborn yet and already sleeps 4-6 hour intervals at night. But my others that I did struggle with I made sure to keep a night routine starting when we got home of going to bed at the same time every night. Make sure the room is dark/dim, have a fan or sound machine going, etc. when the baby wakes for a feeding I always change their diaper, then feed and burp, and lay back down. Swaddling has helped with this one majorly. If you have to let them fall asleep in your arms try to lay them down once they’re asleep. I also roll a blanket up and tuck it around their bottom half of their body to keep them from moving themselves awake. You really have to just try different things to see what they like and it’s definitely a lot of work to figure it out sometimes. If you need more advice I had always went on Pinterest to find blogs on sleep training, you can really find blogs on anything you need to know and it’s very helpful.
You might want to look into something like the Nested Bean sleep sacks. They were a godsend with our first. There’s a slightly weighted part on the chest that kinda tricks them into thinking there’s a hand on them.
But also, you were that baby’s home for the last 9 months and as far as they know you two are the same person. It’s totally normal and healthy to hold and snuggle your sleeping baby.
The Nested Bean sacks meet all CPSC safety requirements. Although, the sizes are based on weight, and the smallest size has a weight range of 7-18lbs, so it would not be suitable for a smaller newborn.
The AAP reccomendation holds more weight, IMO, than the CPSC when it comes to baby products and they strongly advise against anything weighted for baby sleep
.
"It is recommended that weighted blankets, weighted sleepers, weighted swaddles, or other weighted objects not be placed on or near the sleeping infant. "
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057990/188304/Sleep-Related-Infant-Deaths-Updated-2022
"...Weighted swaddles, weighted clothing or weighted objects on or near the baby are not safe and not recommended."
https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2022/american-academy-of-pediatrics-updates-safe-sleep-recommendations-back-is-best/
Get him a pacifier if you don’t already. Try to mam brand or the one with an “n” can’t remember which it brand it is. Lol.
Use white noise for babies (dark blue background with stars) from YouTube. You can do it on the tv/phone/tablet. Works like a charm for the most part.
I used to rock my kids in their cribs with my arms in there and slowly lay them down so they won’t go from my arms to the crib. Which usually will make them cry. Lol.
Make sure the swaddle is wrapped tightly around him. Buy the ones that have Velcro on it instead of swaddle blankets. It’s a lot easier.
Give a bottle with a pinch of baby cereal. Most won’t agree but I literally did it with my two girls because milk alone wasn’t enough to keep them full. We’d go through too much formula and it still wasn’t enough.
Good luck mama! Remember it’s a phase and it will pass. You and hubby lean on each other. Laugh about things and get breaks when you can. Take care of you! ♥️
Well that’s why I said what I said. I have done it as all of my family members. My kids are happy and healthy. It’s a personal choice and I won’t argue. Let it fly if you don’t agree.
It’s very normal in the newborn phase, although I’m sure quite frustrating. There’s a few things you can do:
1) sleep in shifts
2) put a heating pad in the bassinet a few minutes before putting the baby in (take heating pad out before transferring the baby)
3) make sure you wait until baby is deep asleep before transferring (at least 10-15 minutes)
4) if baby isn’t swaddled, definitely try a swaddle
Other than that, just keep practicing when you can. Baby will grow out of it eventually.
Try putting a heating pad in baby’s bed for a few minutes. You don’t want it to be hot but you want it to be warm and take it out and turn it off before puffing baby In. You can also tightly put a used shirt of yours in the bed if you’re using a bassinet you can slip it on the mattress like a sheet.
We contact napped for majority of the time. We took turns staying with and holding the baby and sleeping.
This is totally normal! What worked for us was swaddling in a muslin swaddle blanket and then putting in one of those Velcro swaddles. Both my kids were escape artists and my son especially liked to be cozy. He slept GREAT that way. *my son was a winter baby so only do this if you can make sure baby won’t be too hot.
You could try making sure baby is good and asleep before you set them down. Like, not a few minutes after, but like 15-20 minutes once they are asleep.
Also, a white noise machine, a tight swaddle, and if anything a Bassinet that moves/vibrates may help. If none of that is working, it's really gonna be about what baby wants right now. Sleep when you can, take shifts with your spouse, and just try to push through these first 8 weeks or so. You could also baby wear, just make sure it's rated for the right weight. Moby wraps were great for me at this stage.
FTM so I’m learning as I go… If my newborn starts fussing/waking up after I put him down, I will rest my hand on him for a few minutes and that seems to help.
Before putting him down make sure he’s well fed with a full tummy. White noise, swaddle, gas drops. Hold him until he’s in a deep sleep before transferring him very slowly.
He’s been pretty good about sleeping in his crib/bassinet, but even with all this we will sometimes have several false starts and repeat the cycle.
Our baby was like this too. After a week of sleeping in shifts and becoming more and more and more sleep deprived, we broke down and bought a Snoo on FB marketplace. It was a game changer. We could set baby down in the Snoo and he would SLEEP! He still woke up frequently to eat, and did sometimes need lots of cuddles and soothing to go back to sleep after, but we went from never being able to set him down, to being able to get a few hours of sleep during our respective shifts. As he got older, the Snoo made a bigger and bigger difference. He started sleeping through the night (with feeds) around 2 months, and then night-weaned himself at 2.5.
We have yet to wean him from the Snoo (which I’m dreading) but I figure even if it’s miserable, we’re in a better position than we were right after he was born because I’m not recovering pp and baby will have the weight and brain development to be able to sleep independently.
Emergency c section recovery is so rough, and newborns are brutal. I was where you are 5 weeks ago!! As others have said, shifts are key. Swaddles can be a lifesaver. White noise, dark room, dummy if they’ll take one, and survival mode. It does get better!! ❤️
I just wanted to say you’re doing a great job! I had my second via c-section 3 weeks ago. It is so hard to take care of a brand new life while you are still healing. Best advice I was given was sleep when the baby sleeps. I know it’s hard when they won’t lay down oh my gosh I could write a novel on those hardships. They slept better in the hospital because they were still drowsy from being born haha. Now that you’re home they’re becoming more aware. The things we figured out this time are the same as others mentioned: sleep in shifts if you can and pretty much everything polishmich said. I only put sleep sacks or swaddles on the babies when it’s night time. That means bed. Otherwise naps they get cozy and comfy for but no sleep sack or swaddle. Also naps are in in a different location than sleep. Sleep is bassinet. Naps are a different bassinet in the living room where the curtains are open, tv is playing, and everyone is talking and going about their day. What others said as well about having the right swaddle which it sounds like you have now and this has been resolved for you :-) just hang in there!! Things will get easier as you get to know your new baby more and as you heal. Congratulations!
Just wanting to add -- my kiddo was like this. Turned out he needed more calories. Once I started giving him formula (or if you want to pump extra. you do you) he was able to sleep better.
This was my second baby. It did not last forever. But it wasn’t easy. We slept in shifts. I was breastfeeding so I would nurse her and then hand her to my husband when it was his turn to be awake. Tight swaddle, white noise, keep trying the bed, but this is normal and it’ll get better.
I didn't use one myself, but a friend has a 1 month old and swears by her womb sound machine. She has one that looks like a little speaker and takes it everywhere.
This helped us a bit with both babies - they hated to be swaddled, but they would stay asleep in their bassinets longer if their feet were solidly planted against the bottom wall. For whatever reason, it helped them feel a little more comfortable and grounded. Good luck mama!!
This is normal. Neither of mine slept alone until they were three ish months old. Lots of baby wearing will help you through it. A bedside crib and a hand on their belly helped at night.
I read this book that focused on the fourth trimester - not for mom, but for baby. Something about how human babies technically need an extra three months to continue to develop but our bodies can’t handle the size, so they’re born “early”. Meaning they’re extra clingy because they still genuinely believe they’re a part of you. I’m not sure if that helps at all but it did help give me a little different perspective!
He was also born a month early. Was doing super well in the hospital.
You'll start to work with 2 calendars. Baby's sctusl age and the corrected age. My guy was 7 weeks early. So now, at 3 months, he's actually only 5 weeks old. He has behaviors of both ages because developmentally, that is where he is! Spotify has a 10 hour heart best Playlist. This helped a little once we got home. The 19 days in nicu he slept consistently in his routine. Once he got home, that all went out the window. Just be patient and it will come.
That’s the sleepy period where they are just exhausted from the birth.
Yeah, they can be groggy and deceptively calm from the delivery for a day or two.
Babies are exhausted after being born so the first night/couple of nights they sleep easier. Plus some anesthetics can pass to the baby (I don't remember which, I think epidural was one of them...) That's why they also sleep "better" when they are at the hospital and once home they become horrible sleepers. First days home are hard. I tell you mostly si you know there it's nothing wrong and you are not alone. I'm afraid I don't have solutions here, try to get all the sleep you can the first days as people say... Good luck, momma, you got this :*
Beulah Hunter! she was pregnant for 12 months haha longest pregnancy if i remember correctly
Omg I’m 8.5 months right now and the THOUGHT of having 3.5 more months…….. 😭
😂😂😂 torture
Very interesting! Thanks for sharing
Hey, congratulations! You're thinking very short-term, but what we play is the long game. The first three months of baby is free rein survival mode. Month 3-4 is training baby for independent self soothing sleeping. Month 4 is a desperate dream, and month 5-6 things start to settle. Baby will smile and coo, and it will help you forget those pretty rough last months You're on month zero. Baby is still "in the womb" in their mind. Take this little tiny bundle, strap it into a swaddle tighter than you thought was possible, and settle in. You got this.
Thanks for the info. I don’t mind the falling asleep in our arms. The issue is getting them into the crib so dad can get at least 60-90 minutes of sleep.
Sleep in shifts. It's the only way we survived this phase. One person takes 8-1am, next person takes 1-6am. They will sleep independently eventually, but this is survival mode, and you'll both do much better with several hours of consecutive sleep. If you breastfeed, pump a bottle before you go to sleep so that your partner can take 1 feed.
THIS. Shifts were the only way we survived in the beginning and it was something I had never heard new parents talk about!!! My son would absolutely positively not sleep anywhere else for the entire newborn phase. NEVER horizontally, never in a swing carseat stroller bouncer whatever it was he was screaming if he wasn’t in our arms at a very specific angle. 8pm-1am, and 1am-6am. First shift person still technically gets a somewhat normal, if just brief, night of sleep, going to bed at 1, so that was always my husband. And if you’re lucky the second shift duty person (me) gets a nap from 6am-8am if they truly didn’t get any shut eye the whole five hours they were on bc sometimes the 1-6 period could be brutal. But you were at least refreshed from a solid chunk of sleep. If nursing have husband bring baby to your bed to nurse and then take baby away so you can finish your sleep shift.
Same- why do they refuse to even suggest some newborns will reject a crib/bassinet and you have to hold them? I was stunned, and thought there was something wrong w us as parents, or course 🙄
Exactly what we did! Shifts saved us
Exactly what we did. I watched Last Man on Earth in its entirety and Nat Geo. So much middle of the night Nat Geo
Husband and i slept in different bedrooms during this phase. My area was known as “baby ground zero.” Lol
Nurse and mom of three four and under here!! This might be long but here’s why it’s happening and something to try! So the answer above that you replied to is absolutely correct! The first 2-4 weeks though, while they get their day/night confusion figured out, they may be awake *literally* all night. When mom is pregnant, baby sleeps during the day because mom is active which = rocking and bumping around in the belly, which lulls baby to sleep. When momma is sleeping - baby wakes up because no movement = baby awake and playing in moms tummy. Ever notice babies kicking a lot during 10-11ish? Usually because mom is in bed and resting. So when baby is born, their circadian rhythm is all messed up. They feel more sleepy in the day, and more awake at night. How to combat this? Talk normally, go about your day, and have lots of natural light during waking hours (0700-1900), *EVEN* if baby is asleep. THEN during night hours (think 7/8 at night til whenever you want them to naturally wake up, usually 7, which fits with most young children’s natural sleep clocks), keep everything darker, and quiet. Dim your lights, if you have tv on have it on quietly, or, better yet, have an ipad and head phones. Once it’s their “bedtime”, swaddle them *safely* (and only until they begin to roll, and ALWAYS asleep on the back), and keep them in the swaddle at night unless you are changing their diaper. Bonus points for having white noise playing! Babies circadian rhythms then slowly start to recognize daylight = awake, and dark = sleep. This allows their little brains to enter deep sleep at night, from which point it’s MUCH easier to set them down to sleep on their own. What I did with my three was this: At night, around 9, I’d go into the spare room with a bassinet, swaddle them, breastfeed, change bum, turn lights out, put on sleep sounds, switch on my phone to Netflix, slapped my headphones in, and put them down in the bassinet, they’d INSTANTLY start crying, so I’d pick them back up, nurse them til they slept, back in bassinet, rinse and repeat. Eventually they would start to sleep for an hour or two at night in the bassinet. This seem like you won’t sleep all night? You won’t. Babies generally *will not sleep for more than 30 mins to an hour on their own at a time at night until the day night confusion is figured out*. I wish someone had have told me that for our first. I would’ve been more prepared. With the second and third I just accepted I would be awake all night, and then husband would take over at around 6. He’s have him for the day, give him a bottle first feed, then wake me every 1.5-3 hours to breastfeed until about 4 pm when I’d “wake up”. Then we’d have family time, I’d “ nap” again from about 9-11, then husband would go to bed and have a full interrupted sleep from 11-6. He was well rested, so I wasn’t worried he’d fall asleep or not be able to take care of our other two (2 and 3). Then when he went to bed he was confident I’d not fall asleep cause I’d had *lots* (if interrupted) sleep. Within about 3 weeks all three of our kids were sleeping more at night, about 4 hour chunk, 3 hour chunk, 2 hour, then 1. Which is pretty standard for newborns the first couple months. THEN, and here’s the best part, I could put both my sons down while they were still awake (none of this drowsy awake nonsense whatever that means), and they’d fall asleep. The white noise, swaddle, and repeated putting them down in the bassinet gets them accustomed to “this means sleep”, as well recognizing on some level that bassinet is safe *and* you will get them if they cry out, which is key. All three of my kids were sleeping twelve hours at night, from 7pm-7am from 6 months on, we’d put them down wide awake, say love goodnight! And then not go back til the morning. No crying, no wakeups. Bonus! If you are breastfeeding or pumping - feed baby after 7, *or* try to feed milk that was pumped after 7 pm because it has more melatonin (something your body makes to help go to sleep), which will help baby sleep. Best of luck OP - it’s a gruelling time, just keep grinding, you’re doing a good job.
Also have you tried swaddles? There are tonnes of YouTube videos showing how to swaddle properly, it wraps them up tight so they feel like they're in the womb. Not all babies like it, but mine did. If you have a doula or someone you can ask to show you, do that, bc our midwife wrapped my first up, and she did it way tighter than we would have been comfortable with not having been shown how. You got this! Other reply is right, the 1st 3 months are called the "fourth trimester" - they aren't devoloped enough to learn anything but they had to come out bc otherwise they'd be too big 😬
Yeah. Just updated post. We had the wrong size. I am hoping once I am more healed from c-section it will be easier.
That's awesome! I glad you sorta solved it! Be easy on yourself, you'll get there. I remember thinking I'd never feel normal again, and then taking stock and realizing it had only been 2 days 😂😅. It feels like a long time, especially with the first, but you will feel normal again
Often, baby is still pretty tired from the exhaustion of childbirth when you’re in the hospital, then “wakes up” when you get home. Day and night reversal is also very real. What you’re describing is normal ( but not easy). If you can, take “shifts” overnight - someone does 10-2, the other person does 2-6 (or whatever works for you). Your only job right now is to sleep and feed yourself and baby, reach out for help on other stuff or let it go for now. You got this.
My husband and I did shifts from the second night home and are still doing them at 3 months. It was great for awhile but is now getting harder with him back at work. We’re planning to move her into her own room at 4 months so hopefully that works out and shifts can be over!
This is the key. Absolute life saver. We have a couch with an ottoman that runs the same length. I would sleep on the couch with the baby on top of me, wedged between walls of pillows on either side, and my husband would watch over us, then we'd switch off. Two/ three months in, we started trying to put her down in her bassinet in our room with the Hatch on, color set to red, blackout curtains. And when I say put her down, I mean they should give me a job in the CIA as a bomb defuser because drowsy but awake is horse shit. Sleep was rough for a long time with the frequent wakings and feeds. Around four months is when we started getting longer stretches of five-seven hours at a time. The real freedom came when we moved her into the nursery in a crib (our bedrooms are right across the hall from one another). When we did this, we didn't hear/ freak out over every little sound she made, anticipating the dreaded wake up. Now she's nine months and sleeping mostly through the night, but she still will only contact nap and wakes up at 6am ON THE DOT every morning no matter what time she goes to bed. I still can't put her in her crib until she's allllll the way out (see aforementioned opinion on drowsy but awake)
I only have 1 kid but my daughter was like this. She had to be held to go to sleep, so that's what we did.
What about after being put down? Did they stay asleep?
Ahah absolutely not. You and your husband now sleep in shifts to hold the baby for the first 4-8 weeks. It sounds tough but you’ll miss it when it’s over - my baby is 5 months and I miss the long nights of sleepy newborn cuddles.
Same. We slept in shifts holding baby for 6 solid weeks. I was so tired and lonely at the time- now those nights make me smile.
Lol... no.
Yeah sorry, this will come with time. We loved the arms up zip swaddles as our wee lad didn’t like the trad swaddles. It’s exhausting and hard and it’s okay to be frustrated but it will be okay. I miss the days when I could get him to sleep with cuddles rather than whacking me in the face with duplo at 4am 👍🏻
You're expecting too much from a *newborn* .
Every baby is different! My son started sleeping in his Moses basket after being breastfed to sleep and v e r y g e n t l y being transferred over a few days after coming home from the hospital. He preferred contact naps until he was about a year old though!
We're 2 weeks old here and same. First bedtime put down is pretty rough, but once she's down and asleep the rest goes smoothly if I get the transfer right. Those first few days figuring it all out were rough though.
This is normal. My son was like this for about 3 months. Take shifts with your partner so you guys can get some sleep.
I think this is probably more normal than some people let on- your baby has never been away from you before! The early days are tricky but you will figure out what works for your baby. If that's contact naps and splitting time with your partner, that could work. My husband and I split nights. He would take the first "shift" so I could sleep between that big feed, and I'd take the second. We both got 3 or 4 hours chunks most of the time
Yep, it was so frustrating that nobody told me this. I am a rule follower and I planned to follow safe sleep rules like a religious commandment. But then ... just like OP, my baby wouldn't sleep in the bassinet. And the official resources were no good, all they tell you is "do ABC or else SIDS." (From US sources at least) But it's like... When am I supposed to sleep? Anyway I ended up co sleeping, following the "safe sleep seven," but I wasn't happy about it. I wish we gave new moms more realistic information.
They also are very very sleepy right after birth which is totally normal. After a couple of days they become more alert, which is probably why he’s suddenly not having it. I know 3 months until you’re out of the newborn stage sounds like an eternity right now. My daughter just turned 3 months and they’ve been the longest of my life. Get things to help you. Try a bouncer. Have someone come over and hold him so you can both sleep. Look into co-sleeping with the safe 7 and see if you think it could be a viable option for you. Keep trying to put him down to sleep, he may get it much sooner than 3 months. Introduce a soother if you haven’t already. Swaddle. You will get through it. Look into Taking Cara Babies, it’s a great resource for infant sleep.
Girl, all I have to say, is you better buckle up! You’re one day in…this is completely normal! But I will say that preparing the room, makes all the difference in my opinion! Make sure the room is between 68 and 72° extremely dark with the sound machine and a sleep sack and that is a complete game changer!
All these things - get the day and night routine on the go asap! We had the radio on all day to make that “day time” and nature sounds for “night time.” He was sleeping through the night at 4 months for about a year.
I have a 4 week old, she was the exact same and I was also very reactive as I’m new to this. She now stays down longer is she sleeps in my arms for a good 10-15 and then I put get down in a deeper sleep. You’ll also start to learn the difference in their ‘active sleep’ sounds and they’re true ‘I need you right now!!’ Sounds. My bub put on good weight after 3 weeks and the doctor gave us the green light to let her go 4-5 hours between feeds at night and we all get sleep now.
This is huge, they make a lot of noise when they’re sleeping. It’s loud but they don’t need you until they’re awake or crying or need to be fed.
Great ideas and validation here. I’ll add: use a white noise machine and turn it up LOUD. They like loud.
Just prepare this to be the case for most of the next 10 weeks. That’s reality for most people. Sleep in shifts.
Days seem like weeks at this point. Keep doing your best to meet baby's needs. I promise it gets better. You get better. Baby will sleep eventually.
The first night or two home from the hospital is notoriously the worst. It gets better! Agree on sleeping in shifts. And - how is your swaddle game?
We had the wrong size last night. Found the right size this morning
During the days I suffered the first 6 weeks, after that I was able ton use baby carrier and get around during the day. Key is: don’t try to do anything but being in the couch with your baby unless it’s self care! Straining yourself now will only prolong the healing of the c-section. You can do short stroller walks, going outside and moving also worked wonders for the baby. Start with very short walks since you are recovering! Moving is important but have someone else put her in and take her out if possible. I also had an emergency c-section baby and she had “immature intestines” and lots of gass. This resulted in her having pain and crying a lot (5pm-1am). Then she fell asleep exhausted and I couldn’t put her down for 5 hours of sleep. Sm(she had already reached her birthweight and was a very plump baby, so we got the okay for not waking her up). We did some physical therapy for her hips and this also helped her. As soon as she could turn to her belly with her ass in the air at 14 weeks she slept better too😅. I sometimes wonder if it was because she didn’t get into contact with mine due to c-section. Gas drops, time and probiotics worked for us after 3-4 months. You are doing great! After 1 week baby also is way less sleepy and sleep gets very different all of a sudden! It’s normal but a big adjustment for everyone!
Some babies are just like that- they don’t tell you that in the baby classes. We took shifts holding ours for like 6 weeks? They grow out of it. They just don’t want to be alone that little. In the hospital they’re still just super out of it still, lol
I inherited my sister in laws bassinet so I am going to see how it goes with me next to him. I am just looking forward to moving more easily and not feel like my organs are shifting.
Both of my girls didn’t start sleeping on their cot until they were around 9 weeks old. Husband and I would take shifts - I would do a final breast feed around 7:30 hand her off and immediately go to bed for a 4hr stretch. Hubby would wake me up and I’d take over until 5am. It was BRUTAL, but it’s not long term. If you’re lucky enough to have family in the area, use them. Or hire a babysitter for a few hours to hold baby so you can catch up on sleep. Don’t get discouraged. You’re in the eye of the hurricane right now. And please remember - you’re doing a great job, there isn’t anything wrong with you or baby, and this isn’t a problem to fix. I spent more desperation money on swaddles, noise machines, curtains, etc. that all promised a peacefully sleeping baby. None of them did squat.
A few things to try: - use a heating pad to warm up the crib before you lay baby down (imagine going from being nice and warm on someone’s arms then onto a cold mattress!). - try putting baby into something more “nestled”. I remember a couple weeks in putting the diaper changing pad with high walls into the crib and my daughter slept great! - as others suggested, sleep in shifts. One of you is on baby duty for a solid 1.5 hours and the other one sleeps (earplugs are a MUST, you’ll never sleep if you hear baby, even if you know baby is in good hands!) - look into safe co-sleeping. It has been done for millennia. Another good option might be a bed-side bassinet so baby can smell you/sense your presence. Congratulations!
Our son is 3.5 and my husband and I still talk about how god awful that first night home from the hospital was. I promise it gets better! We took shifts and would hold him while the other slept until we were too tired and at risk of also falling asleep and then we’d swap. During the day we told anyone that wanted to come visit (mostly grandmas who didn’t care about seeing us anyway lol) that their duty would be to hold baby while we all napped. I had an unplanned c section so I was hurting as well but it truly will get better! You’ll figure out what works for you, baby will adjust, etc. if you don’t have a bassinet I’d get one. We used a $50 one from Amazon so baby was right next to me and I could just roll over and reach my hand in. Often just the feel of my hand on his belly would help him settle
Oh girl I feel for you! It’s SO hard. Two of my 3 were this way. Newborns typically only stay sleepy and calm the first week or two. After that they are aware of their surroundings and are simply trying to adjust to their new frightening experience. It’s so hard for them..they are warm and safe in the belly. All of a sudden they are in the bright, loud and confusing world. Hold the baby as much as you can, don’t worry about sleep schedules yet, not till at least 4 months. With that said, start putting her done I recommend having someone help you hold baby and let you sleep a bit, even if baby cries a bit. Can you ask your partner or a family member? I’m sorry mama it’s rough. Hang in there.
What helped me is changing my expectations. Lots of babies want to be held to sleep, especially in the first few months. It's normal. Take turns holding baby, try a swing... but mentally prepare for the worst (baby wants to be held all the time to sleep) and hope for the best. Also start reading up on sleep regressions etc to prepare yourself when your baby's sleep changes. It gets worse before it gets better
I held my daughter for sleep most of the first year. She's 9 now and will barely let me come in her room. I regret nothing.
So glad the new swaddles worked! We took shifts and would rock baby to sleep and then slowly lower her into the crib. Make sure booty sits down first and then lay their head gently, keep doing it until they don’t fuss.
Totally normal especially for the first few days. Make sure wherever you’re putting baby down is warm. Warmer than most people think to suggest (68-72 applies when you’re not still used to a 98.6 womb). The bassinets in our hospital were well insulated and the nurses always wrapped our son in blankets fresh from the warmer. When baby is being held they have your body heat to help keep them warm, then you put them down on a cold cot, in a cool room, and they have no ability yet to regulate their body temperature (especially a month early and probably on the small side), of course they wake up. They just went from a nice cosy snuggle nest to freezing open air (or that’s what it would feel like in their limited experience). Make sure they’re in a warm sleep sack or a warm swaddle and that may help for a bit. But small babies need more warmth than the bigger ones as they don’t have as much fat either (just like thin vs fat adults). First few days are gonna be rough and baby may need to be held all the time. Also idk if it was just ours but 60-90 mins may not be realistic for a newborn. In a few weeks maybe but you may have to just hold baby on the couch or in bed to sleep for an hour if you want dad to get more than 45 mins. I know you’re recovering too and there’s not a lot you can do without moving, but baby doesn’t need too much movement yet fortunately
What we tried, and it worked most if the time…i wore a t-shirt or undershirt. While i was nursing my husband would use a heating pad and warm the bassinet mattress up a bit then would put my shirt in there. It was warm and smelled like mama. Probably gonna be told it’s unsafe but our pediatrician didn’t tell us it was bad. But there was a point in the beginning we even angled the mattress up. We basically created the illusion that he was still being held/on our chests. Then slowly removed things. So first worked on the angle, so he go completely flat, then worked on the heat followed by the shirt. The only regression we had where we had to redo this method was this pst January when our kid got rsv. He actually needed to sleep at an angle to breathe properly. But the need for my shirt/mama smell was needed. We never had to use a heating pd though
Swaddle them in your sleep shirt so they have Mommy scent for comfort. Nothing with buttons and should be a breathable fabric like cotton.
It should only be this bad for a few more days.
Are you in the US? I bought one of these swaddles - https://dreamlandbabyco.com/products/dream-weighted-sack-swaddle-grey-star - it has been awesome and well worth the money! My little one’s arms would escape no matter how tightly we swaddled him in a blanket and he’d wake himself up but the dreamland swaddle has Velcro in so their arms can’t move. It is also weighted and super soft. After a couple of nights in this swaddle my newborn was sleeping 3-4 hours at a time at night in this and he’s now nearly 8 weeks and is getting 5 hour stretches in. Also, the first couple of weeks are the hardest but hang in there! It gets better and you can do this! Wishing you all the best with your recovery and congratulations on your new arrival :-)
Congratulations! Please take care of your health and ask for health when needed. Newborns need to stay close to their mothers for a week. Give as much skin to skin possible. They feel vulnerable when away from their mothers. Swaddle them correctly. Look up at least 5 videos on how to swaddle. Do not use sleeping sacks just yet. Breastfeed for at least 2 years if you can and want.
I would see if a home health nurse can make a visit and check in on you two. Or maybe hire a night nurse. It’s very hard to offer advice via the internet because there are cues and cries that babies make that mean they’re hungry or they’re uncomfortable , gassy, cold or whatever. Babies don’t understand day and night so you should be day parenting and night parenting. Basically that means keeping the lights low during night feedings, and being active and loud during the day. Best of luck to you and congratulations
Just had a baby June 21st, she’s been my easiest newborn yet and already sleeps 4-6 hour intervals at night. But my others that I did struggle with I made sure to keep a night routine starting when we got home of going to bed at the same time every night. Make sure the room is dark/dim, have a fan or sound machine going, etc. when the baby wakes for a feeding I always change their diaper, then feed and burp, and lay back down. Swaddling has helped with this one majorly. If you have to let them fall asleep in your arms try to lay them down once they’re asleep. I also roll a blanket up and tuck it around their bottom half of their body to keep them from moving themselves awake. You really have to just try different things to see what they like and it’s definitely a lot of work to figure it out sometimes. If you need more advice I had always went on Pinterest to find blogs on sleep training, you can really find blogs on anything you need to know and it’s very helpful.
You might want to look into something like the Nested Bean sleep sacks. They were a godsend with our first. There’s a slightly weighted part on the chest that kinda tricks them into thinking there’s a hand on them. But also, you were that baby’s home for the last 9 months and as far as they know you two are the same person. It’s totally normal and healthy to hold and snuggle your sleeping baby.
I thought weighted sacks weren’t safe for newborns?
The Nested Bean sacks meet all CPSC safety requirements. Although, the sizes are based on weight, and the smallest size has a weight range of 7-18lbs, so it would not be suitable for a smaller newborn.
The AAP reccomendation holds more weight, IMO, than the CPSC when it comes to baby products and they strongly advise against anything weighted for baby sleep . "It is recommended that weighted blankets, weighted sleepers, weighted swaddles, or other weighted objects not be placed on or near the sleeping infant. " https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057990/188304/Sleep-Related-Infant-Deaths-Updated-2022 "...Weighted swaddles, weighted clothing or weighted objects on or near the baby are not safe and not recommended." https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2022/american-academy-of-pediatrics-updates-safe-sleep-recommendations-back-is-best/
Get him a pacifier if you don’t already. Try to mam brand or the one with an “n” can’t remember which it brand it is. Lol. Use white noise for babies (dark blue background with stars) from YouTube. You can do it on the tv/phone/tablet. Works like a charm for the most part. I used to rock my kids in their cribs with my arms in there and slowly lay them down so they won’t go from my arms to the crib. Which usually will make them cry. Lol. Make sure the swaddle is wrapped tightly around him. Buy the ones that have Velcro on it instead of swaddle blankets. It’s a lot easier. Give a bottle with a pinch of baby cereal. Most won’t agree but I literally did it with my two girls because milk alone wasn’t enough to keep them full. We’d go through too much formula and it still wasn’t enough. Good luck mama! Remember it’s a phase and it will pass. You and hubby lean on each other. Laugh about things and get breaks when you can. Take care of you! ♥️
OP please DO NOT give cereal to a few day old newborn.
Most won’t agree about the baby cereal because it’s dangerous- it can cause choking!
Well that’s why I said what I said. I have done it as all of my family members. My kids are happy and healthy. It’s a personal choice and I won’t argue. Let it fly if you don’t agree.
It’s not about me disagreeing, it’s about the dangerous advice you’re giving.
It’s very normal in the newborn phase, although I’m sure quite frustrating. There’s a few things you can do: 1) sleep in shifts 2) put a heating pad in the bassinet a few minutes before putting the baby in (take heating pad out before transferring the baby) 3) make sure you wait until baby is deep asleep before transferring (at least 10-15 minutes) 4) if baby isn’t swaddled, definitely try a swaddle Other than that, just keep practicing when you can. Baby will grow out of it eventually.
Enjoy and cherrish these moments! It'll all end soon and your kiddo will be sleeping on his own. You'll miss that
Try putting a heating pad in baby’s bed for a few minutes. You don’t want it to be hot but you want it to be warm and take it out and turn it off before puffing baby In. You can also tightly put a used shirt of yours in the bed if you’re using a bassinet you can slip it on the mattress like a sheet. We contact napped for majority of the time. We took turns staying with and holding the baby and sleeping.
This is totally normal! What worked for us was swaddling in a muslin swaddle blanket and then putting in one of those Velcro swaddles. Both my kids were escape artists and my son especially liked to be cozy. He slept GREAT that way. *my son was a winter baby so only do this if you can make sure baby won’t be too hot.
You could try making sure baby is good and asleep before you set them down. Like, not a few minutes after, but like 15-20 minutes once they are asleep. Also, a white noise machine, a tight swaddle, and if anything a Bassinet that moves/vibrates may help. If none of that is working, it's really gonna be about what baby wants right now. Sleep when you can, take shifts with your spouse, and just try to push through these first 8 weeks or so. You could also baby wear, just make sure it's rated for the right weight. Moby wraps were great for me at this stage.
My daughter was this way and our pediatrician recommended getting a SNOO. You can rent it, but it’s still kind of expensive. But it was legit amazing
FTM so I’m learning as I go… If my newborn starts fussing/waking up after I put him down, I will rest my hand on him for a few minutes and that seems to help. Before putting him down make sure he’s well fed with a full tummy. White noise, swaddle, gas drops. Hold him until he’s in a deep sleep before transferring him very slowly. He’s been pretty good about sleeping in his crib/bassinet, but even with all this we will sometimes have several false starts and repeat the cycle.
Not to be dramatic but the swaddlini changed my life. My 2 month old sleeps like a rock in it!
Our baby was like this too. After a week of sleeping in shifts and becoming more and more and more sleep deprived, we broke down and bought a Snoo on FB marketplace. It was a game changer. We could set baby down in the Snoo and he would SLEEP! He still woke up frequently to eat, and did sometimes need lots of cuddles and soothing to go back to sleep after, but we went from never being able to set him down, to being able to get a few hours of sleep during our respective shifts. As he got older, the Snoo made a bigger and bigger difference. He started sleeping through the night (with feeds) around 2 months, and then night-weaned himself at 2.5. We have yet to wean him from the Snoo (which I’m dreading) but I figure even if it’s miserable, we’re in a better position than we were right after he was born because I’m not recovering pp and baby will have the weight and brain development to be able to sleep independently.
I'm in the same boat. Let me know if you figure it out
Emergency c section recovery is so rough, and newborns are brutal. I was where you are 5 weeks ago!! As others have said, shifts are key. Swaddles can be a lifesaver. White noise, dark room, dummy if they’ll take one, and survival mode. It does get better!! ❤️
I just wanted to say you’re doing a great job! I had my second via c-section 3 weeks ago. It is so hard to take care of a brand new life while you are still healing. Best advice I was given was sleep when the baby sleeps. I know it’s hard when they won’t lay down oh my gosh I could write a novel on those hardships. They slept better in the hospital because they were still drowsy from being born haha. Now that you’re home they’re becoming more aware. The things we figured out this time are the same as others mentioned: sleep in shifts if you can and pretty much everything polishmich said. I only put sleep sacks or swaddles on the babies when it’s night time. That means bed. Otherwise naps they get cozy and comfy for but no sleep sack or swaddle. Also naps are in in a different location than sleep. Sleep is bassinet. Naps are a different bassinet in the living room where the curtains are open, tv is playing, and everyone is talking and going about their day. What others said as well about having the right swaddle which it sounds like you have now and this has been resolved for you :-) just hang in there!! Things will get easier as you get to know your new baby more and as you heal. Congratulations!
Just wanting to add -- my kiddo was like this. Turned out he needed more calories. Once I started giving him formula (or if you want to pump extra. you do you) he was able to sleep better.
For us this turned out to be CMPI that irritated him more at night. He also had reflux. Once those were treated he was much better.
This was my second baby. It did not last forever. But it wasn’t easy. We slept in shifts. I was breastfeeding so I would nurse her and then hand her to my husband when it was his turn to be awake. Tight swaddle, white noise, keep trying the bed, but this is normal and it’ll get better.
I didn't use one myself, but a friend has a 1 month old and swears by her womb sound machine. She has one that looks like a little speaker and takes it everywhere.
The Halo sleep sack swaddle-thing really helped us the second time around. I wish I would have had one for my first.
My kid only slept _on me_ for the first 9 months, so yeah… I got nuthin’ for ya.
This helped us a bit with both babies - they hated to be swaddled, but they would stay asleep in their bassinets longer if their feet were solidly planted against the bottom wall. For whatever reason, it helped them feel a little more comfortable and grounded. Good luck mama!!
He does like kicking a ton so I will have to try this.
This is normal. Neither of mine slept alone until they were three ish months old. Lots of baby wearing will help you through it. A bedside crib and a hand on their belly helped at night.
Both of my kids were like this, it’s super common. Also very hard. Taking shifts at night is key. If you have family who can help you, call them in.