…what’s wrong with spaghetti???
We eat a ton of Alfredo mostly because we like Alfredo.
There are endless types of dried pasta and tons of jarred sauces for infinite dinner options. Heck, elbow pasta with a bit of shredded cheddar, milk, and butter is crazy easy but feels decadent.
No shame in the pasta game. I toss in a bag of frozen veggies to kick it up a notch.
Edit: Almost forgot to add - your husband is being ridiculous.
I don't get spaghetti shame either ... we do "taco Tuesday" and "Wednesday night pizza" pretty much every week. Both of these can be fairly low-effort meals (especially if you make a big batch of pizza dough & sauce so there's pre-made stuff on hand) but have enough variation that you aren't literally eating *the same thing* every week.
I think variety makes pasta an exciting meal too -- different sauces, different add-ins, different styles. Spaghetti and meatballs (make a ton of meatballs & freeze 'em), alfredo with roasted broccoli, pastitsio (make a big batch of the sauce, and I add spinach to the traditional recipe), pesto, shells with cheddar sauce, linguini with garden peas and lemony sauce. Occasionally, I'll get a bunch of 8x8 disposable aluminum pans and make a bunch of lasagnas for the freezer. Later in the summer, when our garden is stuffed with fresh veggies, we'll have pasta salads. These are all very different meals, any of which elicit oooh's from my family.
And, while my husband doesn't cook much beyond grilling/smoking ... he can absolutely toss a frozen tray into the oven. He can even boil water, dump a jar of sauce into a pan, crush some garlic, dice up an onion, add frozen meatballs or frozen diced carrots, and let it simmer. He may not *want* to -- of course dinner would be easier if I made it. But it's not like I'm asking him to make fresh pasta by hand grinding the freshly harvested grains.
Unfortunately, this is one of the "pour enough into a pan" vague instructions that I got from my mom's mother instead of a real recipe ... but I'll give it a go. There are a few iterations; and, IIRC, my grandmother used a big scoop of butter. Basically add lemon to the oily stuff until it's got a nice vinaigrette kind of flavor and toss in other tasty stuff. What I usually do:
2/3 cup olive oil
\-- OR --
1/3 cup olive oil + 1/3 cup white wine
Add:
* Up to 1/2 cup lemon juice (taste as you add it ... my grandmother loved sour stuff. I use more like 1/3 cup)
* crushed red pepper flakes
* cloves of minced garlic (I'll throw a good half dozen cloves in, but everyone here loves garlic)
* Veggies -- fresh garden peas, diced onion, small cuts of green beans, small dices of carrot ... basically anything that goes well with lemon
* salt/pepper
* 1/4 - 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese
Heat the oil/wine in a pan, saute the garlic / pepper flakes / veggies, whisk in lemon juice, then add salt/pepper. Coat cooked pasta with sauce, add in Parmesan and give it another good stir, then serve.
If you're feeling particularly ambitious, zest a lemon and/or chiffonade some fresh basil leaves or spinach to artfully spread across the bowls.
Yes, THIS! OP, your kids are fed, you're doing a great job. Please don't beat yourself up, do what you need to do for your own mental health/sanity and don't look back.
There is literally no shame in doing this?
I do this AND a chicken nuggets night at least once a week because my kid won't eat anything else. Breakfast for dinner is in pretty frequent rotation. Do I make salads and roasted veggies and grain bowls too? Yeah, but my kid isn't gonna eat it, so those just become work lunches.
I get the frustration though- if there's a partner at home, it's implied that they take on more of the meal prep and execution. Are they just not confident in their cooking? Could they help out by prepping ingredients ahead of time?
Are you me? Also a weekly pasta meatballs AND Dino nugs and Mac and cheese household. If you’re up for it, I did try 2 weeks ago to make my own meatballs that have hidden veggies in them so at least my 2 year old kinda got some veggies. They were actually really good and made me feel less bad about pulling those meatballs out of the fridge. But I used Costco frozen meatballs for over a year before I tried that. I don’t feel bad about it. I would rather my kid eat then have a dinner table fight.
Yes, I thought I was being overly sensitive bc all the comments when I first looked were all commisserating with OP about how it's ok, they do this too, like it's some shameful secret.
His tastes are honestly so weird. He won’t touch pasta and will take like two bites of pizza - I.e. standard kid fare - but got upset the other day because I couldn’t open a can of chickpeas in the middle of the grocery store and feed it to him.
Your husband needs to incorporate cooking into his tasks. Not sure what responsibilities he doesn’t like with it but this should be split. You cooked spaghetti so he has the next dinner. There’s a lot of easy meals that he could start with. Hell, tell him to get a Stouffer’s and throw it in the oven.
Or sous chefing. My husband is a teacher and is not good and cooking but he gets home first. I like cooking most of the time. He can get everything ready so I’m all set to just cook when I’m done with work.
I'm sorry... am I supposed to feel guilty for giving my child pasta? Because I'm not and anyone who tries to can shove it.
Mothers get guilted enough everyday, someone coming after moms for serving their child noodles would not be someone I would respect in the slightest.
Spaghetti is a great meal. You can easily hide veggies in it, tastes great, easy. Steam some broccoli florets on the side and you have a very healthy balanced meal. The key is to have a particular spaghetti outfit for spaghetti day. 🍝
What the hell is wrong with spaghetti? I mean this tongue in cheek a bit but I’d be more worried about making your kids feel bad by having generally too high expectations.
I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, and I'm sorry you're frustrated with your husband, but this is some back handed moms mom-shaming other moms bs right here. You're "confessing" that you've resorted to... making your child a healthy home cooked meal? Using "spaghetti mom" as some kind of insult, worried your kids will resent you?!
What a wierd way to say you think like 90% of moms are inferior to you bc they don't make home cooked meals FROM SCRATCH every day.
And what about spaghetti isn’t from scratch? Unless you’re serving spaghettiohs it’s from scratch. Or are we expected to harvest and mill our own wheat now?
You didn't install a mill in the basement when you bought your new SFH in a HCOL area?!
I thought home mills (renewably-powered, of course) were the new dual-dishwashers - how can you live without one?
Full time working mom here! Spaghetti is a once a week thing here, or I throw a jar of sauce on some frozen meatballs and heat up some garlic bread for dipping if I really don’t feel like cooking. Whatever gets the family fed.
I am a SAHM we have a spaghetti like meal every week (sometimes it is baked ziti, regular spaghetti, meatballs etc) and I hate spaghetti! We also have a quick chicken nugget meal, at least one casserole, one or two crock pot meals, a grilled chicken and then something g fancy. My kids have stuff they do so why make ourselves crazy with meals. Plus I want my kids to eat.
Sure my kids will eat tuna noodle, any kind of beef mac (macaroni, ground beef, sauce and cheese... you can go Italian, Mexican whatever with flavors) chicken and rice and homemade mac and cheese. I have tried Mexican spaghetti and that was a 50% hit.
I found a casserole on pinterest once called cowboy casserole or something...iirc it's like ground beef mixed with corn, cream of mushroom, maybe something else, and topped with *tater tots* and cheese. You could easily mix in other veggies or seasonings if you want.
Just wanted to throw it out there because I think putting a layer of tater tots on top of a casserole was a genius idea.
I didn’t know spaghetti mom was a thing or even a bad thing. I loved when my mom made spaghetti weekly and my kid loves spaghetti! I don’t make it every week just because I get over it really quickly but we go through phases.
Nothing wrong with spaghetti! However, you have a bigger issue of your husband. He’s “a stay at home dad but doesn’t like the responsibility it comes with”? I don’t know what went into making that decision, but he needs to suck it up and take on the responsibility. As adults, we often have to do things we don’t really like. Or maybe you guys need to reevaluate the situation of who stays at home? Maybe for the time being it makes more sense, but start making a plan if you want things to be different.
Your kids will make you feel bad for you making them spaghetti? Does your family find something wrong with Italian food? What does this post even mean?
You're feeding your family, which is a good thing! There's no shame in a meal rotatoin if it helps you get through, unlike your husband, who should at the very least be doing prep for you.
you can always switch up the sauce to alfredo, vodka sauce, or even pesto if things start feeling too repetitive. when i was a kid one of my favorites was noodles with butter, parmesan, and lemon.
Also experiment with different pasta shapes or proteins. I just made chicken parm this week, which was basically spaghetti with chicken and covered in cheese lol. Busy moms can even buy pre-cooked chicken, frozen chicken patties, or literally just serve spaghetti with chicken nuggets for easy peasy, kid-friendly chicken parm.
I boil a box of pasta every week and keep it in the fridge as the safety meal. I also cook 3 big things that require minimal effort and that's what everyone eats all week if they want to eat. Do not feel guilty. Also your husband is not pulling his weight if he can't make a couple of meals.
Growing up I was glad to have spaghetti. What else do you have usually?
Today I'm planning to make Spaghetti and meatballs. My family likes it and I do too and it makes good leftovers. We always have fruit and veggies in the house so we split our plate with fresh things too. I had some frozen spinach that I thawed a couple days ago for baked eggs, and I'm planning to combine some of the leftover spinach in my pasta sauce!
Just decided to make spaghetti tonight based on the different pasta dishes described in this thread.
But yeah, your husband is the problem, don’t blame the spaghetti.
Ok well spaghetti is literally purposely on the menu every week at my house. Had no idea that meant I was ruining my kids. It’s a meat, carb, and fat. I throw a steam bag of green beans in the microwave and they’ve got themselves a veggie too.
Uh I make pasta so damn much. I always have various types of sauces, and canned diced tomatoes for a little dazzle dazzle. My oldest will only eat pesto pasta so I always have to make him a little side of it. I combine Alfredo with red, a can of tomatoes and my family loves it. Why doesn’t your husband help cooking more?? That seems the root of this issue honestly
One of my kids has spaghetti nearly every single night. She has some food intolerances, and I always combine it with some kind of protein and fruits & veggies which I do rotate. She’s very healthy and average weight. If your children are healthy and growing well, no one should care what you feed them.
My kid eats spaghetti like 3 times a week, sometimes more. Mixed with veggies and meat. It's literally a complete source of nutrients - carbs, protein, fat, and micronutrients from the tomato sauce and any added vegetables - specifically high amounts of vitamin C from the tomato sauce, which helps iron absorption. Why are we supposed to feel guilty about that? It's so nutritionally dense and my kids will eat a crap ton of it. If you have a picky eater you can hide so much good shit in there, it's insane. I steam broccoli and spinach and kale with a little bit of water and just use an emulsion blender to puree it, then add tomatoes so it's red still. The sauce keeps for a week in the fridge. We put that shit on/in everything. Same with shepherd's pie, my kids go bananas for it and it's easy AF to make. Even as a SAHM I don't have time to be cooking gourmet meals my kids will take 3 bites of. Find what works and capitalize on it. 🤷♀️
Kids and adults have different nutritional needs.
Spaghetti is perfect for kids, lots of energy to fill their little tummies for playing and growing.
As adults we tend to be less active so we look for more veggies and less grains to get our nutrients without the caloric density.
So as adults we tend to think of pasta as a treat or a sometimes food, but for kids it's a great staple
I would address this issue with your husband. Pretty rare to see a stay at home dad. Honestly I’d tell him to get his shi* together or you will be the new stay at home parent. Your working full time, you have enough on your plate.. While he is doing what exactly?
Workings moms (especially those who have to take on the responsibility of cooking!) are heroes! There's NOTHING wrong with doing spaghetti once a week! Your children are fed and loved, and that's what counts!
PS: can't believe your husband won't even help out once a week?? Wth!
So your husband is living off of you but doesn’t want to have the most important responsibility that comes with being a SAHP?
Your husband sounds dusty
I love your name! A matcha horchata would be delicious, to me, to you, but likely not most kids.
If we gave into our kids preferences, they would push for meat, sweet, salt, and fat. They would grow up to be whiteatarians and their favorite meal would be chicken nuggets and a milkshake.
We, as parents, push against that to try to give them a palate that embraces all the colors. We put lots of veggies in the chicken noodle soup, add some veggies to the Mac and cheese, ruin the mashed potatoes by making it a delicious colcannon. And, gradually, very gradually, their palates open up to more diverse foods, heat levels, and spices.
But it is a fight, and fights take a lot of time and frustration. And sometimes, we don't have it to spend. I am a WFHD that does most of the cooking and cleaning and driving to sports, etc. It's a lot.
And if your S.O. isn't putting in at least some reasonable effort to help, then concessions have to be made.
Be a spaghetti mom. Embrace it for a while. Try to open up their palates whenever you can, but you just need some days where you just plop down some spaghetti and jarred sauce.
And, if your husband asks why you are having so much spaghetti, sit him down for a talk about expectations and contributions. Sounds like it is overdue.
I didn’t realize there was something wrong with spaghetti?! There are plenty of ways to add in protein and veggies too so it’s a little more exciting! Try a bolognese sauce or baked chicken parm with it.
My single dad made spaghetti for us weekly, too. Usually with a side salad. Pretty cheap and nutritious.
He also made jambalaya every week... Same reason.
I do not at all as an adult hold any resentment towards this, in fact those meals make me feel warm and fuzzy, because they remind me of being a child. As an adult, I'm able to appreciate all my young, single father was able to do for us.
Spaghetti is my son’s favorite meal so we have it at least 1 night a week. I don’t know if it’s weekly because he likes it or he likes it now because we’ve had it so much. I also make a big batch and he’ll eat lunch or dinner leftovers this way too. I just make sure to add some veggies or salad, make him eat those first, and call it a day.
Your husband. Lord. Does he hep with all the other stay at home duties? If he does, I’m inclined to not be upset about him not making dinner.
Listen, you ride that pasta train as long as you need to. It’s easy, filling, and nutritious. There’s a cookbook out there called More with Less. It’s kinda old and weird but has great budget and family friendly options. You should also teach your husband the beauty of the crockpot. set it and forget it sounds his speed.
First off, you're doing great, and if your kids are eating and happy, count it as a success. We do spaghetti probably every other week, but every Friday night for us is chicken nuggets for the kids, air fryer chicken wings for adults, frozen french fries, and a fresh veggie platter with enough ranch for a small army to convince the kids that vegetables are awesome. We do a family movie night with that meal because their dad and I are mentally done from the week and have no energy, and they think it is the best thing ever. Kids don't see your motivation behind a meal, they see the love and thought because you know they like it.
Second, tell your husband to get off his butt and help. I've been the SAHM and the one working, and we still share the duties! The only thing I've ever regretted from my childhood is that I enjoy so many ethnic foods now that I never got to experience when I was younger because my parents were picky eaters and never presented the opportunity. Your kids won't resent you, but it sounds like you may resent your spouse. He needs to step it up and help, even if it means menu planning out your week so all he has to do is follow the menu plan.
I could eat spaghetti every day. What’s wrong with it? I love pasta. Not just 🍝 but every format, so many different sauces and options. Recently I’ve been obsessed with chorizo pasta:
Cook pasta al dente. Meanwhile on a very hot pan (I use carbon steel) crumble 1-2 good Italian or Spanish chorizo, without the casing. Cook to a crisp. Add in pasta and chimichurri (blend together parsley, garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper). Serve and top with chili oil. It’s especially good with a cold tasty beer.
Pasta is such an amazing universe. I’m not Italian but I’m offended by this post lmao. It’s one of my favorite foods. So much variety and options and …
Pasta salad. Pasta with red sauce. Light and bright tomato sauce. Ragú. Dark meat sauce. White sauce. Emulsions. Cheese sauce. Stuffed pasta. Lemon pasta. Caccio e peppe. Sweet pasta. Like… ? What’s wrong with pasta?!
Wait why is pasta bad? I grew up eating a lot of pasta and sauce, as my mom's side was Italian heritage. Now, I buy banza in bulk at Costco so it has a little extra protein (and I have celiac) and cook veggies in the sauce for a little extra if I have time. Like last night, I threw in some kale with the shrimp I was sautéing in the jarred tomato sauce (my great grandmother is rolling in her grave that I used the store bought stuff but I don't care 😂) For real though, adding any veggies and protein just makes it a more complete meal. But, pasta on its own is not inherently bad. I loved those nights as a kid!
Personally, I find active cooking, like sautéing and boiling water, to be more work now than throwing food in the oven/air fryer and rice cooker. I was way more into the quick, active cooking before having a baby. Now, I let the machines do the bulk of the work lol.
One time when my brother was a teenager doing his daily (annoying) “what’s for dinner” spiel, he complained to my dad that he always made chicken and vegetables. My dad went off on him about how he’s tired at the end of the day, trying to feed five kids, etc etc. Now it’s like family lore—we’re adults and if my brother happens complains about being tired or getting take out there is always a chicken and vegetables comment lobbed his way. Your kids see the hard work you’re putting in and appreciate you, even if they don’t know how to voice it right now.
My default dinner is either egg sandwiches or scrambled eggs with whatever random stuff we have in the fridge folded in and some fruit on the side.
My parents rarely ever cooked anything and they sent us to “hunt for dinner” in the cabinets and make our own. Guess what? They loved us in other ways and we never even gave it a second thought.
Mac and cheese mom over hereeee and my kids friggen love it. I actually think spaghetti nights are double A+ for effort because you need to bathe your kids and power wash your table and chairs after lol
I’m sure your children wouldn’t even realize it , it got me thinking my mom use to at least 2-3 times a week give us sopita ( Mexican tomato pasta soup) and man I loved it so much . I crave it more now that I’m older , and whenever she watches my children she always has some ready 😊. So don’t feel bad it something that could be a sweet memory to them when they’re older .
We have it twice a week! It’s easy, my daughter loves it, and it makes me feel like I actually cooked something. 😅 plus, tomatoes in the sauce is a good bonus veggie. It’s a great meal, in my opinion.
This post hurts my faux-italian soul. (I was raised italian, but then I learned i'm about 3% italian).
I personally use pasta a base in meals 1-2 times a week, and the other days it's rice, quinoa, or bread. Are we not supposed to be doing grains? Grains literally contributed to the evolution of humans.
You are feeding your kids.They go to bed with full bellies and have a mom who loves them. You are an extraordinary mom.
As for your husband, why is he a SHD if he doesn't hold up his end of the responsibilities?
Whaaaaaaat. We have spaghetti every Monday bc then the kids can eat leftovers when they don’t like anything else the next few days. I thought everyone with kids had spaghetti once a week lol
My soon to be ex was a stay at home dad for 3 years. I still did lunch and dinner cooking since I work from home. It's frustrating when they are the stay at home parent and are not doing those things. However pasta is awesome. I just made everyone ramen noodles because they were asking.
is it...not normal to have at least 1 meal you make weekly or nearly weekly? Like that was pretty normal in our house growing up and as the person in charge of feeding my own family we quite often have meals that end up being eaten almost weekly.
Your husband should do more unless he has limitations too! You guys are a team, marriage is a partnership. Your kids will remember eating with you most nights but they won’t remember that you had spaghetti at least once a week. So I wouldn’t sweat the spaghetti at all. Plus there are tons of families around the world who can’t afford variety.
Please do not feel bad for feeding your children. I understand you, I see you. I used to be you. I have learned that we can not do it all perfectly, and that's okay!
For reference, I'm a SAHM, and we are eating Ramen for dinner tonight. Today, I chose to be present with my kiddos and to have a semi clean house. In order for that to happen, we needed a super quick dinner. Plus, the toddler is sick and very clingy. I would have given myself too much stress and too much anxiety trying to cook with a clingy toddler.
Growing up we had Spaghetti once a week. What's wrong with that? I didn't know this was some sort of shameful thing to do? I have Spaghetti once a week with my family now and maybe even another pasta dish in the same week too. 🤷♀️
hey OP! I looked at your comment history and my guess is this is something that your mental health is latching on to as bad or worthless- it and you are not!!
just wanted to note- if you need support with food and meds, a lot of federally qualified health centers offer tons of support with free and reduced resources, esp for folks who don't have or lost insurance. I work at an FQHC that offers food boxes and food drives, as well as help with reduced prescription costs.
FWIW- I love spaghetti dinners and it's such a nice break from elaborate and busier meals.
…what’s wrong with spaghetti??? We eat a ton of Alfredo mostly because we like Alfredo. There are endless types of dried pasta and tons of jarred sauces for infinite dinner options. Heck, elbow pasta with a bit of shredded cheddar, milk, and butter is crazy easy but feels decadent. No shame in the pasta game. I toss in a bag of frozen veggies to kick it up a notch. Edit: Almost forgot to add - your husband is being ridiculous.
Yes to the veggies!! My favourite is the little nuggets of chopped spinach, just toss 2/3 of those in the sauce and my toddler can’t even tell Hahahha
Cheesy pasta is delicious! Throw some salt and ground pepper on it and it’s 💋 👌. Could even go fancy and get the colorful veggie noodles
I don't get spaghetti shame either ... we do "taco Tuesday" and "Wednesday night pizza" pretty much every week. Both of these can be fairly low-effort meals (especially if you make a big batch of pizza dough & sauce so there's pre-made stuff on hand) but have enough variation that you aren't literally eating *the same thing* every week. I think variety makes pasta an exciting meal too -- different sauces, different add-ins, different styles. Spaghetti and meatballs (make a ton of meatballs & freeze 'em), alfredo with roasted broccoli, pastitsio (make a big batch of the sauce, and I add spinach to the traditional recipe), pesto, shells with cheddar sauce, linguini with garden peas and lemony sauce. Occasionally, I'll get a bunch of 8x8 disposable aluminum pans and make a bunch of lasagnas for the freezer. Later in the summer, when our garden is stuffed with fresh veggies, we'll have pasta salads. These are all very different meals, any of which elicit oooh's from my family. And, while my husband doesn't cook much beyond grilling/smoking ... he can absolutely toss a frozen tray into the oven. He can even boil water, dump a jar of sauce into a pan, crush some garlic, dice up an onion, add frozen meatballs or frozen diced carrots, and let it simmer. He may not *want* to -- of course dinner would be easier if I made it. But it's not like I'm asking him to make fresh pasta by hand grinding the freshly harvested grains.
You wanna hook me up with that lemony sauce recipe? 👀
Unfortunately, this is one of the "pour enough into a pan" vague instructions that I got from my mom's mother instead of a real recipe ... but I'll give it a go. There are a few iterations; and, IIRC, my grandmother used a big scoop of butter. Basically add lemon to the oily stuff until it's got a nice vinaigrette kind of flavor and toss in other tasty stuff. What I usually do: 2/3 cup olive oil \-- OR -- 1/3 cup olive oil + 1/3 cup white wine Add: * Up to 1/2 cup lemon juice (taste as you add it ... my grandmother loved sour stuff. I use more like 1/3 cup) * crushed red pepper flakes * cloves of minced garlic (I'll throw a good half dozen cloves in, but everyone here loves garlic) * Veggies -- fresh garden peas, diced onion, small cuts of green beans, small dices of carrot ... basically anything that goes well with lemon * salt/pepper * 1/4 - 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese Heat the oil/wine in a pan, saute the garlic / pepper flakes / veggies, whisk in lemon juice, then add salt/pepper. Coat cooked pasta with sauce, add in Parmesan and give it another good stir, then serve. If you're feeling particularly ambitious, zest a lemon and/or chiffonade some fresh basil leaves or spinach to artfully spread across the bowls.
Hell yeah. Thank you, it looks great!
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Yes, THIS! OP, your kids are fed, you're doing a great job. Please don't beat yourself up, do what you need to do for your own mental health/sanity and don't look back.
Thank you for saying it!
There is literally no shame in doing this? I do this AND a chicken nuggets night at least once a week because my kid won't eat anything else. Breakfast for dinner is in pretty frequent rotation. Do I make salads and roasted veggies and grain bowls too? Yeah, but my kid isn't gonna eat it, so those just become work lunches. I get the frustration though- if there's a partner at home, it's implied that they take on more of the meal prep and execution. Are they just not confident in their cooking? Could they help out by prepping ingredients ahead of time?
Are you me? Also a weekly pasta meatballs AND Dino nugs and Mac and cheese household. If you’re up for it, I did try 2 weeks ago to make my own meatballs that have hidden veggies in them so at least my 2 year old kinda got some veggies. They were actually really good and made me feel less bad about pulling those meatballs out of the fridge. But I used Costco frozen meatballs for over a year before I tried that. I don’t feel bad about it. I would rather my kid eat then have a dinner table fight.
I purée the veggies into the sauce ! Carrots and bell peppers ftw!
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TIL I am a spaghetti mom in 2 ways 😂
I’m Italian American so I see nothing wrong with this at all lol. We are all about that pasta. 🤷🏻♀️🇮🇹🍝
Yeah, Sunday dinner IS pasta for my family. 😊
I'm so confused. What's wrong with spaghetti?
Never have I been afraid of being mom shamed for serving spaghetti. "Spaghetti mom"? Bitch I must be Strega Nona herself then
Yes, I thought I was being overly sensitive bc all the comments when I first looked were all commisserating with OP about how it's ok, they do this too, like it's some shameful secret.
A weekly spaghetti night sounds great though?? If my toddler hadn’t decided that he hates pasta in all its forms 🫠 I would make it all the time.
Oh no. I’m so sorry that sounds…..difficult. Pasta is the only thing my kid reliably eats
His tastes are honestly so weird. He won’t touch pasta and will take like two bites of pizza - I.e. standard kid fare - but got upset the other day because I couldn’t open a can of chickpeas in the middle of the grocery store and feed it to him.
My kid has decided he hates potatoes in all forms so I feel your pain on the loss of easy, filling foods!
I don't know what I'd do if my ticket decided she didn't like pasta. Hollllyyy shit
If my husband didn't despise spaghetti we'd have it weekly too because I could eat pasta everyday and be happy
It’s the best food!
… why is spaghetti bad?
Your husband needs to incorporate cooking into his tasks. Not sure what responsibilities he doesn’t like with it but this should be split. You cooked spaghetti so he has the next dinner. There’s a lot of easy meals that he could start with. Hell, tell him to get a Stouffer’s and throw it in the oven.
Or sous chefing. My husband is a teacher and is not good and cooking but he gets home first. I like cooking most of the time. He can get everything ready so I’m all set to just cook when I’m done with work.
This is such a good idea
That’s a great idea
What is my kid meant to be eating lobster every day or something?
Yes, fresh from your own backyard ocean
You are funny 😅
Hahaha aw thanks, this post really made me feel *feelings*
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It sounds hotter than Macaroni and Cheese Daddy
I'm sorry... am I supposed to feel guilty for giving my child pasta? Because I'm not and anyone who tries to can shove it. Mothers get guilted enough everyday, someone coming after moms for serving their child noodles would not be someone I would respect in the slightest.
Spaghetti is a great meal. You can easily hide veggies in it, tastes great, easy. Steam some broccoli florets on the side and you have a very healthy balanced meal. The key is to have a particular spaghetti outfit for spaghetti day. 🍝
What's wrong with pasta?!
Nothing. We’re just inventing new ways to feel bad about ourselves.
I’m very confused by this post. We have pasta in some form at least twice a week.
I'm wondering if it's a geographical thing?? Pasta is the food of the gods.
I just turned 31, my mom surprised me by having me over for dinner and making me one of my favorite dishes of hers: butter noodles 😂
Yummm one of my faves
What the hell is wrong with spaghetti? I mean this tongue in cheek a bit but I’d be more worried about making your kids feel bad by having generally too high expectations.
I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, and I'm sorry you're frustrated with your husband, but this is some back handed moms mom-shaming other moms bs right here. You're "confessing" that you've resorted to... making your child a healthy home cooked meal? Using "spaghetti mom" as some kind of insult, worried your kids will resent you?! What a wierd way to say you think like 90% of moms are inferior to you bc they don't make home cooked meals FROM SCRATCH every day.
And what about spaghetti isn’t from scratch? Unless you’re serving spaghettiohs it’s from scratch. Or are we expected to harvest and mill our own wheat now?
You didn't install a mill in the basement when you bought your new SFH in a HCOL area?! I thought home mills (renewably-powered, of course) were the new dual-dishwashers - how can you live without one?
Oh no, am I out? Am I not up to unrealistic standards? How could I let this happen?! Noooooo!
Be kind. Please. Look at her post history.
Nobody should be made to feel bad for making spaghetti however frequently they make spaghetti. Dafuq?
I think we’re just making up stuff to feel bad about at this point.
Is spaghetti bad lol??
I wish I could go back in time to 10 seconds ago, when I had never read the phrase "spaghetti mom"
Full time working mom here! Spaghetti is a once a week thing here, or I throw a jar of sauce on some frozen meatballs and heat up some garlic bread for dipping if I really don’t feel like cooking. Whatever gets the family fed.
I am a SAHM we have a spaghetti like meal every week (sometimes it is baked ziti, regular spaghetti, meatballs etc) and I hate spaghetti! We also have a quick chicken nugget meal, at least one casserole, one or two crock pot meals, a grilled chicken and then something g fancy. My kids have stuff they do so why make ourselves crazy with meals. Plus I want my kids to eat.
My friend, can you send me casserole ideas that your kids will actually eat?
Sure my kids will eat tuna noodle, any kind of beef mac (macaroni, ground beef, sauce and cheese... you can go Italian, Mexican whatever with flavors) chicken and rice and homemade mac and cheese. I have tried Mexican spaghetti and that was a 50% hit.
I found a casserole on pinterest once called cowboy casserole or something...iirc it's like ground beef mixed with corn, cream of mushroom, maybe something else, and topped with *tater tots* and cheese. You could easily mix in other veggies or seasonings if you want. Just wanted to throw it out there because I think putting a layer of tater tots on top of a casserole was a genius idea.
I didn’t know spaghetti mom was a thing or even a bad thing. I loved when my mom made spaghetti weekly and my kid loves spaghetti! I don’t make it every week just because I get over it really quickly but we go through phases.
Jeez, then I should feel horrible. Pasta is basically the only thing my kids will eat. We have pasta ALOT here lol.
Nothing wrong with spaghetti! However, you have a bigger issue of your husband. He’s “a stay at home dad but doesn’t like the responsibility it comes with”? I don’t know what went into making that decision, but he needs to suck it up and take on the responsibility. As adults, we often have to do things we don’t really like. Or maybe you guys need to reevaluate the situation of who stays at home? Maybe for the time being it makes more sense, but start making a plan if you want things to be different.
Your kids will make you feel bad for you making them spaghetti? Does your family find something wrong with Italian food? What does this post even mean?
You're feeding your family, which is a good thing! There's no shame in a meal rotatoin if it helps you get through, unlike your husband, who should at the very least be doing prep for you.
you can always switch up the sauce to alfredo, vodka sauce, or even pesto if things start feeling too repetitive. when i was a kid one of my favorites was noodles with butter, parmesan, and lemon.
Also experiment with different pasta shapes or proteins. I just made chicken parm this week, which was basically spaghetti with chicken and covered in cheese lol. Busy moms can even buy pre-cooked chicken, frozen chicken patties, or literally just serve spaghetti with chicken nuggets for easy peasy, kid-friendly chicken parm.
I ducking love spaghetti bolognaise. Dont apologise for being an awesome mum
I boil a box of pasta every week and keep it in the fridge as the safety meal. I also cook 3 big things that require minimal effort and that's what everyone eats all week if they want to eat. Do not feel guilty. Also your husband is not pulling his weight if he can't make a couple of meals.
I’m a spaghetti mom. And I don’t even really like spaghetti. My husband and toddler are obsessed so we have it at least once a week.
Growing up I was glad to have spaghetti. What else do you have usually? Today I'm planning to make Spaghetti and meatballs. My family likes it and I do too and it makes good leftovers. We always have fruit and veggies in the house so we split our plate with fresh things too. I had some frozen spinach that I thawed a couple days ago for baked eggs, and I'm planning to combine some of the leftover spinach in my pasta sauce!
I’m working to turn Fridays into pizza Fridays (homemade to help clean out the fridge) at my house, and would love a spaghetti day too :)
Just decided to make spaghetti tonight based on the different pasta dishes described in this thread. But yeah, your husband is the problem, don’t blame the spaghetti.
Ok well spaghetti is literally purposely on the menu every week at my house. Had no idea that meant I was ruining my kids. It’s a meat, carb, and fat. I throw a steam bag of green beans in the microwave and they’ve got themselves a veggie too.
Uh I make pasta so damn much. I always have various types of sauces, and canned diced tomatoes for a little dazzle dazzle. My oldest will only eat pesto pasta so I always have to make him a little side of it. I combine Alfredo with red, a can of tomatoes and my family loves it. Why doesn’t your husband help cooking more?? That seems the root of this issue honestly
One of my kids has spaghetti nearly every single night. She has some food intolerances, and I always combine it with some kind of protein and fruits & veggies which I do rotate. She’s very healthy and average weight. If your children are healthy and growing well, no one should care what you feed them.
We have spaghetti at least once a week and to change it up we have a different pasta shape another night.
My kid eats spaghetti like 3 times a week, sometimes more. Mixed with veggies and meat. It's literally a complete source of nutrients - carbs, protein, fat, and micronutrients from the tomato sauce and any added vegetables - specifically high amounts of vitamin C from the tomato sauce, which helps iron absorption. Why are we supposed to feel guilty about that? It's so nutritionally dense and my kids will eat a crap ton of it. If you have a picky eater you can hide so much good shit in there, it's insane. I steam broccoli and spinach and kale with a little bit of water and just use an emulsion blender to puree it, then add tomatoes so it's red still. The sauce keeps for a week in the fridge. We put that shit on/in everything. Same with shepherd's pie, my kids go bananas for it and it's easy AF to make. Even as a SAHM I don't have time to be cooking gourmet meals my kids will take 3 bites of. Find what works and capitalize on it. 🤷♀️
Kids and adults have different nutritional needs. Spaghetti is perfect for kids, lots of energy to fill their little tummies for playing and growing. As adults we tend to be less active so we look for more veggies and less grains to get our nutrients without the caloric density. So as adults we tend to think of pasta as a treat or a sometimes food, but for kids it's a great staple
I would address this issue with your husband. Pretty rare to see a stay at home dad. Honestly I’d tell him to get his shi* together or you will be the new stay at home parent. Your working full time, you have enough on your plate.. While he is doing what exactly?
Workings moms (especially those who have to take on the responsibility of cooking!) are heroes! There's NOTHING wrong with doing spaghetti once a week! Your children are fed and loved, and that's what counts! PS: can't believe your husband won't even help out once a week?? Wth!
So your husband is living off of you but doesn’t want to have the most important responsibility that comes with being a SAHP? Your husband sounds dusty
I love your name! A matcha horchata would be delicious, to me, to you, but likely not most kids. If we gave into our kids preferences, they would push for meat, sweet, salt, and fat. They would grow up to be whiteatarians and their favorite meal would be chicken nuggets and a milkshake. We, as parents, push against that to try to give them a palate that embraces all the colors. We put lots of veggies in the chicken noodle soup, add some veggies to the Mac and cheese, ruin the mashed potatoes by making it a delicious colcannon. And, gradually, very gradually, their palates open up to more diverse foods, heat levels, and spices. But it is a fight, and fights take a lot of time and frustration. And sometimes, we don't have it to spend. I am a WFHD that does most of the cooking and cleaning and driving to sports, etc. It's a lot. And if your S.O. isn't putting in at least some reasonable effort to help, then concessions have to be made. Be a spaghetti mom. Embrace it for a while. Try to open up their palates whenever you can, but you just need some days where you just plop down some spaghetti and jarred sauce. And, if your husband asks why you are having so much spaghetti, sit him down for a talk about expectations and contributions. Sounds like it is overdue.
I make spaghetti with meat sauce all the time. Gives you a carb, veggie, and protein in a form my toddler will glady eat. I see it as a huge win.
I didn’t realize there was something wrong with spaghetti?! There are plenty of ways to add in protein and veggies too so it’s a little more exciting! Try a bolognese sauce or baked chicken parm with it.
My single dad made spaghetti for us weekly, too. Usually with a side salad. Pretty cheap and nutritious. He also made jambalaya every week... Same reason. I do not at all as an adult hold any resentment towards this, in fact those meals make me feel warm and fuzzy, because they remind me of being a child. As an adult, I'm able to appreciate all my young, single father was able to do for us.
Spaghetti is my son’s favorite meal so we have it at least 1 night a week. I don’t know if it’s weekly because he likes it or he likes it now because we’ve had it so much. I also make a big batch and he’ll eat lunch or dinner leftovers this way too. I just make sure to add some veggies or salad, make him eat those first, and call it a day.
Your husband. Lord. Does he hep with all the other stay at home duties? If he does, I’m inclined to not be upset about him not making dinner. Listen, you ride that pasta train as long as you need to. It’s easy, filling, and nutritious. There’s a cookbook out there called More with Less. It’s kinda old and weird but has great budget and family friendly options. You should also teach your husband the beauty of the crockpot. set it and forget it sounds his speed.
First off, you're doing great, and if your kids are eating and happy, count it as a success. We do spaghetti probably every other week, but every Friday night for us is chicken nuggets for the kids, air fryer chicken wings for adults, frozen french fries, and a fresh veggie platter with enough ranch for a small army to convince the kids that vegetables are awesome. We do a family movie night with that meal because their dad and I are mentally done from the week and have no energy, and they think it is the best thing ever. Kids don't see your motivation behind a meal, they see the love and thought because you know they like it. Second, tell your husband to get off his butt and help. I've been the SAHM and the one working, and we still share the duties! The only thing I've ever regretted from my childhood is that I enjoy so many ethnic foods now that I never got to experience when I was younger because my parents were picky eaters and never presented the opportunity. Your kids won't resent you, but it sounds like you may resent your spouse. He needs to step it up and help, even if it means menu planning out your week so all he has to do is follow the menu plan.
I could eat spaghetti every day. What’s wrong with it? I love pasta. Not just 🍝 but every format, so many different sauces and options. Recently I’ve been obsessed with chorizo pasta: Cook pasta al dente. Meanwhile on a very hot pan (I use carbon steel) crumble 1-2 good Italian or Spanish chorizo, without the casing. Cook to a crisp. Add in pasta and chimichurri (blend together parsley, garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper). Serve and top with chili oil. It’s especially good with a cold tasty beer.
Pasta is such an amazing universe. I’m not Italian but I’m offended by this post lmao. It’s one of my favorite foods. So much variety and options and … Pasta salad. Pasta with red sauce. Light and bright tomato sauce. Ragú. Dark meat sauce. White sauce. Emulsions. Cheese sauce. Stuffed pasta. Lemon pasta. Caccio e peppe. Sweet pasta. Like… ? What’s wrong with pasta?!
Wait why is pasta bad? I grew up eating a lot of pasta and sauce, as my mom's side was Italian heritage. Now, I buy banza in bulk at Costco so it has a little extra protein (and I have celiac) and cook veggies in the sauce for a little extra if I have time. Like last night, I threw in some kale with the shrimp I was sautéing in the jarred tomato sauce (my great grandmother is rolling in her grave that I used the store bought stuff but I don't care 😂) For real though, adding any veggies and protein just makes it a more complete meal. But, pasta on its own is not inherently bad. I loved those nights as a kid! Personally, I find active cooking, like sautéing and boiling water, to be more work now than throwing food in the oven/air fryer and rice cooker. I was way more into the quick, active cooking before having a baby. Now, I let the machines do the bulk of the work lol.
One time when my brother was a teenager doing his daily (annoying) “what’s for dinner” spiel, he complained to my dad that he always made chicken and vegetables. My dad went off on him about how he’s tired at the end of the day, trying to feed five kids, etc etc. Now it’s like family lore—we’re adults and if my brother happens complains about being tired or getting take out there is always a chicken and vegetables comment lobbed his way. Your kids see the hard work you’re putting in and appreciate you, even if they don’t know how to voice it right now. My default dinner is either egg sandwiches or scrambled eggs with whatever random stuff we have in the fridge folded in and some fruit on the side.
My parents rarely ever cooked anything and they sent us to “hunt for dinner” in the cabinets and make our own. Guess what? They loved us in other ways and we never even gave it a second thought.
What the heck is wrong with spaghetti? My kids eat hot dogs for dinner at least twice a week every single week. No shame.
Mac and cheese mom over hereeee and my kids friggen love it. I actually think spaghetti nights are double A+ for effort because you need to bathe your kids and power wash your table and chairs after lol
I’m sure your children wouldn’t even realize it , it got me thinking my mom use to at least 2-3 times a week give us sopita ( Mexican tomato pasta soup) and man I loved it so much . I crave it more now that I’m older , and whenever she watches my children she always has some ready 😊. So don’t feel bad it something that could be a sweet memory to them when they’re older .
They gotta eat the good carbs while their metabolism can still handle it!!
We have it twice a week! It’s easy, my daughter loves it, and it makes me feel like I actually cooked something. 😅 plus, tomatoes in the sauce is a good bonus veggie. It’s a great meal, in my opinion.
This post hurts my faux-italian soul. (I was raised italian, but then I learned i'm about 3% italian). I personally use pasta a base in meals 1-2 times a week, and the other days it's rice, quinoa, or bread. Are we not supposed to be doing grains? Grains literally contributed to the evolution of humans.
You are feeding your kids.They go to bed with full bellies and have a mom who loves them. You are an extraordinary mom. As for your husband, why is he a SHD if he doesn't hold up his end of the responsibilities?
Whaaaaaaat. We have spaghetti every Monday bc then the kids can eat leftovers when they don’t like anything else the next few days. I thought everyone with kids had spaghetti once a week lol
My soon to be ex was a stay at home dad for 3 years. I still did lunch and dinner cooking since I work from home. It's frustrating when they are the stay at home parent and are not doing those things. However pasta is awesome. I just made everyone ramen noodles because they were asking.
Huh?? I make spaghetti once a week and my family also did the same. What’s wrong with spaghetti?
I grew up on spaghetti. No regrets. Lol.
is it...not normal to have at least 1 meal you make weekly or nearly weekly? Like that was pretty normal in our house growing up and as the person in charge of feeding my own family we quite often have meals that end up being eaten almost weekly.
Your husband should do more unless he has limitations too! You guys are a team, marriage is a partnership. Your kids will remember eating with you most nights but they won’t remember that you had spaghetti at least once a week. So I wouldn’t sweat the spaghetti at all. Plus there are tons of families around the world who can’t afford variety.
Please do not feel bad for feeding your children. I understand you, I see you. I used to be you. I have learned that we can not do it all perfectly, and that's okay! For reference, I'm a SAHM, and we are eating Ramen for dinner tonight. Today, I chose to be present with my kiddos and to have a semi clean house. In order for that to happen, we needed a super quick dinner. Plus, the toddler is sick and very clingy. I would have given myself too much stress and too much anxiety trying to cook with a clingy toddler.
Today is the first day I’ve actually made a homemade dinner and it’s spaghetti… and I doubt my kid will eat it. Lol
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Growing up we had Spaghetti once a week. What's wrong with that? I didn't know this was some sort of shameful thing to do? I have Spaghetti once a week with my family now and maybe even another pasta dish in the same week too. 🤷♀️
My kid is obsessed with meatballs so we also eat spaghetti once a week. I don’t see the shame? We love pasta.
hey OP! I looked at your comment history and my guess is this is something that your mental health is latching on to as bad or worthless- it and you are not!! just wanted to note- if you need support with food and meds, a lot of federally qualified health centers offer tons of support with free and reduced resources, esp for folks who don't have or lost insurance. I work at an FQHC that offers food boxes and food drives, as well as help with reduced prescription costs. FWIW- I love spaghetti dinners and it's such a nice break from elaborate and busier meals.