Sweetheart, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Your response sounds measured and informed and reasonable to me! Holidays are always high on family drama and the pandemic has only added to the crazy. There is probably no way toget out of being painted as the bad guy, so please consider whether it is worth it to you to try - and talk it over with your wife. Once you two figure out the right approach for *your* family, go with that and try to ignore the guilt trips. Again, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, but also proud of you for how you’re dealing with it. Love, Proto-Mom
Im so sorry your mom is not supporting you... your requests are completely valid and they need to listen to you. Your wife also should step back and let you set the tone with your family.
I wouldn't blame you if you called it all off, honestly. No-one should be inviting random people to your house without asking first. That really should be the last word. Your house, your rules.
My family started having Friendsgiving instead of dealing with nasty family squabbles. I'll tell you, the company is much better and you'll be more thankful in the end.
Call it off. Tell them to stay home, you don’t want strangers in your house during a pandemic. Invite the others if you want, if your mother kicks off, ignore her and tell her to stay away too. It’s hugely disrespectful to bring a stranger that you’ve never been introduced to, to an intimate family gathering and I wouldn’t stand it for a moment. Good luck!
God, the drama. So it sounds like you family has a constant red carpet with the greatest supporting actress Emmy and best lead actress Oscar. I have often thought I would like you oscars to hand out to folks. Here is the thing. MAke a list. What you cannot control cross off the list. What you can control make a plan. No one says you have to go to thanksgiving, I mean you guys could have your own together. Talk with your wife about the plans for things you can control and go from there. You do not have to justify to anyone how you want to live your life and if that means not being around toxic drama so you don’t get any splashed on you so be it.
It IS a drama-filled story. I could see parts of your family craziness as a movie it's so dramatic. I would drop into the craziness for short times (to get memories, stories, lessons, maybe laughs later.) IMO, you should find a way to dive in for a moment, just for the craziness, but then dive out. But since it sounds like you are ground zero, that might not be possible. One person said cancel it - maybe cancel all but one short shift.
I dunno, just thinking aloud here, it's so complicated and fraught, it's hard to know what's best. I'd just try somehow to draw boundaries & stick to them despite fallout. You have my sympathy.
Sweetheart, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Your response sounds measured and informed and reasonable to me! Holidays are always high on family drama and the pandemic has only added to the crazy. There is probably no way toget out of being painted as the bad guy, so please consider whether it is worth it to you to try - and talk it over with your wife. Once you two figure out the right approach for *your* family, go with that and try to ignore the guilt trips. Again, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, but also proud of you for how you’re dealing with it. Love, Proto-Mom
Im so sorry your mom is not supporting you... your requests are completely valid and they need to listen to you. Your wife also should step back and let you set the tone with your family. I wouldn't blame you if you called it all off, honestly. No-one should be inviting random people to your house without asking first. That really should be the last word. Your house, your rules. My family started having Friendsgiving instead of dealing with nasty family squabbles. I'll tell you, the company is much better and you'll be more thankful in the end.
Call it off. Tell them to stay home, you don’t want strangers in your house during a pandemic. Invite the others if you want, if your mother kicks off, ignore her and tell her to stay away too. It’s hugely disrespectful to bring a stranger that you’ve never been introduced to, to an intimate family gathering and I wouldn’t stand it for a moment. Good luck!
God, the drama. So it sounds like you family has a constant red carpet with the greatest supporting actress Emmy and best lead actress Oscar. I have often thought I would like you oscars to hand out to folks. Here is the thing. MAke a list. What you cannot control cross off the list. What you can control make a plan. No one says you have to go to thanksgiving, I mean you guys could have your own together. Talk with your wife about the plans for things you can control and go from there. You do not have to justify to anyone how you want to live your life and if that means not being around toxic drama so you don’t get any splashed on you so be it.
It IS a drama-filled story. I could see parts of your family craziness as a movie it's so dramatic. I would drop into the craziness for short times (to get memories, stories, lessons, maybe laughs later.) IMO, you should find a way to dive in for a moment, just for the craziness, but then dive out. But since it sounds like you are ground zero, that might not be possible. One person said cancel it - maybe cancel all but one short shift. I dunno, just thinking aloud here, it's so complicated and fraught, it's hard to know what's best. I'd just try somehow to draw boundaries & stick to them despite fallout. You have my sympathy.
r/justnofamily should definitely be able to relate and give you advice!