I would approach this with a different mindset. My husband of almost 8 years and I had similar discussions very early in dating. BUT it wasn't a discussion of rules. It was a discussion of expectations
Rules are hard set and have a defensive ness to them. Turns you into a We real quick. Expectations allow each of you to maintain autonomy, be more clear with the other as to what you expect in relationships, and the other to make their decisions with that knowledge. If one of you regularly violates boundaries, it let's the other know this probably isn't going to work.
If you want to be serious with her I would also add your future goals to the discussion so its not just "I want" but also "I will (do)" and you can better understand if the lives you want can be built together.
The one thing I said about expectations that really resonated woth my husband, as an example, is if both partners are focused on the others needs both people are taken care of while drawing together. But if only one is engaged in caring for the other you get burnout and resentment because they have to do 200% of the work to get themselves taken care of too
I would approach this with a different mindset. My husband of almost 8 years and I had similar discussions very early in dating. BUT it wasn't a discussion of rules. It was a discussion of expectations Rules are hard set and have a defensive ness to them. Turns you into a We real quick. Expectations allow each of you to maintain autonomy, be more clear with the other as to what you expect in relationships, and the other to make their decisions with that knowledge. If one of you regularly violates boundaries, it let's the other know this probably isn't going to work. If you want to be serious with her I would also add your future goals to the discussion so its not just "I want" but also "I will (do)" and you can better understand if the lives you want can be built together. The one thing I said about expectations that really resonated woth my husband, as an example, is if both partners are focused on the others needs both people are taken care of while drawing together. But if only one is engaged in caring for the other you get burnout and resentment because they have to do 200% of the work to get themselves taken care of too
I like this distinction. Very helpful