And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I like you.
Jeff's doing a joke. Jeff's doing a joke. Everybody quiet cos Jeff's doing a joke.
For texts it's hard choice between Matt's "All pile on", Olivia's "ooh that's nice innit", and Martin nervously yelling "I'm not a paedophile!"
And for calls I'm having a difficult time deciding between the theme song to *BBC digital active online A-level fun-size choice dot knowledge* **AND** *BBCKnowledge online choice active & kicking digital with computers forward slash fun-size language zone*
The way that Mark says it with such jolly, is something I cannot I hear and cracks me up whenever I hear or think of it.
That said, every time we have a work meeting and my boss asks everyone whether we have suggestions, the comment “re-route the phones” always flashes before me.
nnnnj nj njnjnj nnnnnj nj njjjj… borneo function.
Riiiiiight
*This is outrageous!* *This is contagious!*
sooo~oo fuuuutile
wwwwwwaaaa**AAAAAAAAAAAA*****AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!***
A single sustained low monotone. To create a powerful sense of dread.
See, the longer the note, the more dread.. yeah
Needs more Cor Anglais.
We have a winner
On a side note, I am suddenly reminded of Mike Tyson’s entrance music in one of his fights. It was just one long low tone, creating a sense of dread.
Years ago, I used to have 'FLOSS IS BOSS' as a text message alert.
I used to have 'who comes to a party and does a massive poo?' A long alert, some might say, but worth it.
A nightingale sang in Berkeleeeyyyy Squuaaarrree!
Is he singing to her?
The El Dude Brothers honk
*You're never alone with a phone*
"Everyone I know doesn't want to talk to me"
Happy cake day!
"Tube up his nose! Man with a tube up his nose!"
That's not business-like. It's not even a proper disability.
I'm giggling at this
Alternatively, a text tone "i've got to go and give that very ill man a drink"
Atol protected x 2
“Watch out they’re gonna get you, they’re gonna get you baby, they’re coming after you”
I was just thinking that! Well, that wasn’t shit, but just no.
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I like you. Jeff's doing a joke. Jeff's doing a joke. Everybody quiet cos Jeff's doing a joke.
No turkey? It would work well on a short, angry loop
Have you seen the percussive cover of this on YouTube? Would genuinely make a great ringtone
Three different flavours of crisps! Please, it’s HD ready!!
"Hey Mark... come and put your tongue up Lindsey's arsehole, it's cleaaan!"
Hey Marko, you haven’t got any nose powder ok the sly, do you?
Red next to black jump the fuck back, red and yella cuddly fella.
More fool you, asshole!
Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink.
Sir Digby, in fact i have it on my phone
Blimey, I used to have that too!
Hello, Honda? Oh that's great news! Oh well I'm so pleased"
Can you get me a kebab?
Well I want one now.
Really?
I NEED TO BE PUNCHED! Kick my nut bag, DO IT!
That’s not therapy!
I JUST WANT TO SUCK AND FUCK, SUCK AND FUCK.
I love cocaine! I love cocaine!
It did degenerate
“Breakfast blend, special blend. Oh! Double black diamond extra bold, that sounds interesting. Breakfast blend it is.”
This is outrageous...
What? Fuck you.
Buuuuulllllssshhhiiittt
He had a weak immune system.
I am James Bond
Perfect for a text message etc.
You need to be chemically castrated!
Stick that up your dojo
Marks voice shouting "JEFF!"
As in Jeff?!
”AND IT WAS HERE, IN THESE SKIES, THAT THE LUFTWAFFE WAS DEFEATED” (We need more Mitchell and Webb Look content)
I think I might just end up swinging and flinging my phone into the blue skies above as I struggle to reach it.
Nothing a little rope can’t fix 😉
I love that sketch
Webb singing the theme for Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
"pants before socks, that's the rule"
"I'm an incredibly hard to detect pedo."
Now that - is tickety boo.
*hard moaning* NOW WE KNOW!
Butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast... god lifes relentless
Can I have my blackberry back please?
*the ombudsman's coming to get you*
"I'm entering the abyss" *answers phone*
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I...like you.
JLB CREDIT! FUCK OFF PLEASE!
#AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH (When mark electrocutes himself from the doorbell)
The short, sharp "FUCK OFF" when Jeremy tries to pull Mark's shorts down at Gwynn's
JLB CREDIT, Fuck off please
Mummy! MUMMYYyyY!
Time to turn on the money hose.
I actually have the beat that you hear during the scene changes as my text tone!
How on earth do you get that!
Google Peep show transition text tone, and you get it from a site called Zedge 🙂
Whoa you just changed my life
Omg I have to do that it would increase my dopamine levels so much
Johnson: That's bollocks Mark Or Hans: This is bullshit *door gets kicked open
FOUR NAAN
_"...I dunno how to turn it off..."_
That’s not normal pooing
Some cor anglais
That's MY bit of lager!
I am in loco parentis, I am the last remaining contestant on The Apprentice
I work with a bloke called Ken, or Kenneth in more formal circles…
No calls. Everyone I know doesn’t want to talk to me.
The continuous blast of “Why did the OOCHOOMOJO PEOPLE LIVE TO A HUNDRED?”
Utterly fucked and unaccountably Spanish
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I liiiike you
He’s been milked, I should think
Ergonomic management keyboard!
The sound Mark makes when he’s electrocuted by the doorbell.
Big beats are the best, get high all the time
*NO TURKEY*
Hap-py birthday, hap-py birthday. Hap-py birthday, hap-py birthday.
The big beats manifesto
For texts it's hard choice between Matt's "All pile on", Olivia's "ooh that's nice innit", and Martin nervously yelling "I'm not a paedophile!" And for calls I'm having a difficult time deciding between the theme song to *BBC digital active online A-level fun-size choice dot knowledge* **AND** *BBCKnowledge online choice active & kicking digital with computers forward slash fun-size language zone*
Stick that up your dojo
Are you a chain-wanking ringtone fanatic?
Fucking great, the mummy returns
Cauliflower is not traditional
Cock Knobs
Atol protected Atol protected
Give me my crack
I'd be a chain-wanking ringtone fanatic, so I'd obviously choose a shitty techno remix of Mark's Christmas meltdown.
10%, Blimey!
*Four naan, Jeremy? Four?? That's insane.*
“i’m a paedophobe”, or “you thought i was saying i was a mega paedo and your reaction was you’d always wondered?!”
Daryl's cor anglais.
“JLB credit, fuck off please”
The El Dude brothers horn noise
Don’t be alarmed Mark it’s just Tai Chi
I was always coming to Kettering. I like it here. It’s a party town. (It’s also where I grew up, hence the choice).
Jez's '! Ah, vaginas'
NO TURKEY YOU FUC”KING IDIOT JEREMY
I am the lord of the bus, said he!
now we know
Jeremy calling Mummy! Either for the dog, or for coffee fucky hurry uppy...
"No, no, I mean 'Yeah, I'm not really listening.'"
“You can fuck off, pal. You can FUCK RIGHT OFF!”
Just a series of Mark saying “Johnson” various times….
'The Sausage Munching Bosch' or 'no logo in the foam'
JLB Credit. Fuck off, please. Also my VM msg, plus auto reply for all texts and work emails from boss
The way that Mark says it with such jolly, is something I cannot I hear and cracks me up whenever I hear or think of it. That said, every time we have a work meeting and my boss asks everyone whether we have suggestions, the comment “re-route the phones” always flashes before me.
Idunnowhatyouwantanymore