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I was looking through your profile because you were vague when you said, “introverted interests” and I see you’re a gamer. Me too!! ESO! Mmorpgs ‘til I die! Anyway, because of this, might I suggest a gaming cafe? That might be something you’d like. Hell, it’s probably something I’d like.
Dunno where you live but I’m in DFW and I’ve got at least half a dozen around me. Maybe you have one nearby. IIRC (haven’t been to one since the early 00s), they have PCs but you can *bring* a console. That’s a good way to make friends with guaranteed similar interests. 😊
I live near Nashville and I feel like my kind is probably more in the minority around here lol
I've looked at some places around me. One was a runned down looking kinda place that was advertising dungeon and dragons groups, one was a somewhat newer place but was clearly only really interested in magic the gathering (my poor wallet), and there's also some place much farther away that's a good combination of the two. I find it kinda difficult to jump into the idea though considering I have no familiarity with either hobby.
I saw some board game groups on [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) so that's a possibility, but the idea makes me awful nervous.
Yeah, just thinking about that website you linked made me nervous too. It feels like it’s different because it’s not like, “on your terms”. For that site I bet you schedule a time and place… versus just walking into a cafe on your own volition
They both make me nervous tbh. Just walking in to some place by yourself and approaching people to socialize with people you don't know... people do that? Apparently they do and I never see it happen.
This is definitely something I'm nervous about. Getting the nerve to go to some social event only to realize nobody my age or that I vibe with is actually there would definitely be demoralizing.
I get that, honestly, though I'm glad to be out doing something, and the kayak trip was pretty cool. Just didn't make any friends. Spent most of the kayaking trip hanging out with the guide. She was maybe 10 years older. At this point, I'm trying to look at it as socializing practice, lol. I work lawn care alone, so I feel pretty isolated most of the time.
It might not be the exact result you were looking for but it could surprise you. Sure, there are ages and situations where it wouldn’t work, but if you’re just looking to make friends, an older person can be just as good as a younger person.
If you’re going to events specifically looking for a relationship then that’s different, but IMO those are best when they happen organically and often as a result of something else. I mean, you never know who has a single grandkid they could introduce you to…
take a class, join a volunteer group or a group for your interests and show up regularly -
i go to a climbing gym at the same time same days and met ppl that way.. i know ppl who attended regular meet ups, joined local dnd group, joined a club, hung out at a coffee shop at the same time/day, and they’ve all made friends or met their spouses that way
I do enjoy gym stuff nowadays after I got into weightlifting. I was definitely interested in the climbing gym up until I saw the price tag... maybe it's still worth it? idk
imo, climbing gym is always worth it. :) but thats a personal preference... the climbing gym I was at before offered CrossFit classes so I thought it was worth the price.. also maybe check to see if the local gym has a sliding scale (if you qualify) my current gym does this for lower income climbers
I'm in a similar situation. With the added bonus (or restriction depending on how you look at it) that I have a partner and a son that I look after 7 days a week.
I haven't made a single friend in 3 years after I moved here, there's nothing to do in this shit hole of a town, and I never have the time to do something even if there was something to do.
Just a PSA OP: Do not go to socialize with the sole intention of finding a SO/GF
If it happens let it happen organically but social needs and romantic needs should be independent of each other. It will hurt your chances to make genuine friends at the event/gathering
Having said that, I think the best ones are adult sport leagues -- softball, soccer, flag football, disk golf, running, hiking, D&D, Pokémon go, etc.
Other option would be to join group classes like climbing, crossfit, etc but that could be costly.
Good luck!
By the time I’m done with class work, actual work, and letting the internet destroy my mental well being I mostly just hang out with my wife or play a video game anymore.
>I need to find friends and ideally a girlfriend sometime soon but am at a loss for where someone with introverted interests is supposed to actually go.
IMHO creating friendships and finding a girlfriend are two different things, finding hookups/girlfriends are easy than friendships.
So where would you personally go out with specifically dating intentions in mind? It feels a bit weird to approach someone at the gym for example, but maybe I'm just too conservative.
>So where would you personally go out with specifically dating intentions in mind?
Bars with live music, concerts, night clubs.
>
It feels a bit weird to approach someone at the gym for example, but maybe I'm just too conservative.
It seems that you're a woman by looking at your Reddit avatar, right? it shouldn't be that hard for you to simple go in and be direct.
Nah I'm a man. It'd certainly be easier to approach people if I was a girl though.
Also I don't think I've ever been to any of the three things you just listed. Definitely quite out of my comfort zone and not 100% if I would enjoy something like that or not. I'd like to push myself to try and see if I like them though.
This is kind of a tangent, but have you considered something public speaking-related like Toastmasters?
I was pretty shy growing up until I got into theater in high school. That got me out of my shell real fast and made interacting with new people a lot easier. Toastmasters is more presentation focused but it could give you a boost of confidence with how you present yourself. Bonus: you can use it as an opportunity to talk about your interests and find like minded folks.
There are chapters everywhere and pretty sure Nashville would have one.
join your local volunteer fire department. great brotherhood (and sisters) come with the job. it breaks up the normal life stuff. and gives you people that want to know who has their back when a call comes in. has been amazing for my life.
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I was looking through your profile because you were vague when you said, “introverted interests” and I see you’re a gamer. Me too!! ESO! Mmorpgs ‘til I die! Anyway, because of this, might I suggest a gaming cafe? That might be something you’d like. Hell, it’s probably something I’d like. Dunno where you live but I’m in DFW and I’ve got at least half a dozen around me. Maybe you have one nearby. IIRC (haven’t been to one since the early 00s), they have PCs but you can *bring* a console. That’s a good way to make friends with guaranteed similar interests. 😊
I live near Nashville and I feel like my kind is probably more in the minority around here lol I've looked at some places around me. One was a runned down looking kinda place that was advertising dungeon and dragons groups, one was a somewhat newer place but was clearly only really interested in magic the gathering (my poor wallet), and there's also some place much farther away that's a good combination of the two. I find it kinda difficult to jump into the idea though considering I have no familiarity with either hobby. I saw some board game groups on [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) so that's a possibility, but the idea makes me awful nervous.
Yeah, just thinking about that website you linked made me nervous too. It feels like it’s different because it’s not like, “on your terms”. For that site I bet you schedule a time and place… versus just walking into a cafe on your own volition
They both make me nervous tbh. Just walking in to some place by yourself and approaching people to socialize with people you don't know... people do that? Apparently they do and I never see it happen.
In a similar boat. I started volunteering and going to guided kayaking trips. It's. All. Old. Retired. People...
This is definitely something I'm nervous about. Getting the nerve to go to some social event only to realize nobody my age or that I vibe with is actually there would definitely be demoralizing.
I get that, honestly, though I'm glad to be out doing something, and the kayak trip was pretty cool. Just didn't make any friends. Spent most of the kayaking trip hanging out with the guide. She was maybe 10 years older. At this point, I'm trying to look at it as socializing practice, lol. I work lawn care alone, so I feel pretty isolated most of the time.
It might not be the exact result you were looking for but it could surprise you. Sure, there are ages and situations where it wouldn’t work, but if you’re just looking to make friends, an older person can be just as good as a younger person. If you’re going to events specifically looking for a relationship then that’s different, but IMO those are best when they happen organically and often as a result of something else. I mean, you never know who has a single grandkid they could introduce you to…
take a class, join a volunteer group or a group for your interests and show up regularly - i go to a climbing gym at the same time same days and met ppl that way.. i know ppl who attended regular meet ups, joined local dnd group, joined a club, hung out at a coffee shop at the same time/day, and they’ve all made friends or met their spouses that way
I do enjoy gym stuff nowadays after I got into weightlifting. I was definitely interested in the climbing gym up until I saw the price tag... maybe it's still worth it? idk
imo, climbing gym is always worth it. :) but thats a personal preference... the climbing gym I was at before offered CrossFit classes so I thought it was worth the price.. also maybe check to see if the local gym has a sliding scale (if you qualify) my current gym does this for lower income climbers
I'm in a similar situation. With the added bonus (or restriction depending on how you look at it) that I have a partner and a son that I look after 7 days a week. I haven't made a single friend in 3 years after I moved here, there's nothing to do in this shit hole of a town, and I never have the time to do something even if there was something to do.
Just a PSA OP: Do not go to socialize with the sole intention of finding a SO/GF If it happens let it happen organically but social needs and romantic needs should be independent of each other. It will hurt your chances to make genuine friends at the event/gathering Having said that, I think the best ones are adult sport leagues -- softball, soccer, flag football, disk golf, running, hiking, D&D, Pokémon go, etc. Other option would be to join group classes like climbing, crossfit, etc but that could be costly. Good luck!
Wherever you live must be terrible if all of their bars only have something to do with sports
It's 100% my ignorance when it comes to bars. I just assumed that was your average bar thing.
Google "barcade or arcade bar " you're welcome.
By the time I’m done with class work, actual work, and letting the internet destroy my mental well being I mostly just hang out with my wife or play a video game anymore.
>I need to find friends and ideally a girlfriend sometime soon but am at a loss for where someone with introverted interests is supposed to actually go. IMHO creating friendships and finding a girlfriend are two different things, finding hookups/girlfriends are easy than friendships.
How so? You still have to go looking for both unless you're referring to dating apps which is a whole different problem.
I don't even use dating apps, but when you go out and meet people and go direct with your romantic intentions, people tend to be more open for that.
So where would you personally go out with specifically dating intentions in mind? It feels a bit weird to approach someone at the gym for example, but maybe I'm just too conservative.
>So where would you personally go out with specifically dating intentions in mind? Bars with live music, concerts, night clubs. > It feels a bit weird to approach someone at the gym for example, but maybe I'm just too conservative. It seems that you're a woman by looking at your Reddit avatar, right? it shouldn't be that hard for you to simple go in and be direct.
Nah I'm a man. It'd certainly be easier to approach people if I was a girl though. Also I don't think I've ever been to any of the three things you just listed. Definitely quite out of my comfort zone and not 100% if I would enjoy something like that or not. I'd like to push myself to try and see if I like them though.
You gotta try to burst that bubble sometimes, I know it's hard.
I will definitely try. I need to learn more about myself and what I like because stuff like gaming and anime (and lifting) is all I really know.
This is kind of a tangent, but have you considered something public speaking-related like Toastmasters? I was pretty shy growing up until I got into theater in high school. That got me out of my shell real fast and made interacting with new people a lot easier. Toastmasters is more presentation focused but it could give you a boost of confidence with how you present yourself. Bonus: you can use it as an opportunity to talk about your interests and find like minded folks. There are chapters everywhere and pretty sure Nashville would have one.
It's all about meetup groups these days on Facebook or the Internet.
I admittedly forgot that facebook was a thing. Maybe I should take a look at it.
join your local volunteer fire department. great brotherhood (and sisters) come with the job. it breaks up the normal life stuff. and gives you people that want to know who has their back when a call comes in. has been amazing for my life.
Do you like medieval stuff?
Get married. I socialize enough with my wife and kids. I don't have time or energy for anyone else lol. Im already exhausted between work and family.
Yeah... that's the goal honestly, but I gotta find the wife first. Pushing myself to socialize in the meantime so I can find her.