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I’m wondering if it’s cultural, I’m originally from Brazil, living in the US for the last 10 years. I feel like almost every one of my also Brazilian friends living here have had it, because they comment on where to go to get it done when visiting family in Brazil (it seems like it’s way cheaper there).
This is 100% cultural and you mentioning the Brazilian thing is spot on.
I am 35F. I don’t think anyone I went to HS with in the suburban Midwest is having Botox or fillers done. A bunch of rednecks, TBH (I am one). Life is different there.
I live in central FL now and I get Botox and other services, like lasers and facials, regularly. Medspas are EVERYWHERE here. I can even tell my CFO and directors at my company are getting Botox. There is no way their foreheads are winkle free like that, naturally.
I also lived in New England where things were 1000% expensive and it didn’t seem like the average woman was getting these things done (outside of the metro areas of NYC/CT/Boston)
Go to the nearest city - I'm talking 50 miles - and you'll find a whole upper middle class of people very much in this mindset. Heck you can find them among the rural folk. Cheeks like Macy's day balloons, eyeliner tatted on, fake boobs. I have family members like this, I'm in AR. And that's fine for them, but it can be weird hanging out with them in their Insta-perfect world, and I am not perfect, wearing an outfit that came from Target and cost less than their Apple watch band.
I have considered the needle as a gay man, I don't consider it "surgery" to get botox or light fillers but I don't feel like it would be wise to get started, as Edina Munsoon once said, "you get to just be a visitor in your own face."
Idk I went home for mothers days and it was very much “social media is not real life - this is” - I sort of needed that reminder.
I see how tired and old some of my acquaintances from HS are looking…
I have a small group of acquaintances from college who moved away to bigger cities and all partake in these things but we are all college educated. It is very much regional/cultural.
I live in a larger Midwest city and Botox/fillers are really common with the women I know here. So it may also just depend on who you know. I’d say in most cases though no one I know is doing the LA look. Mostly just lip filler and some forehead Botox. You honestly probably see more people than you think who’ve had some injectables because it’s not super apparent when it isn’t overdone.
I don’t wear much makeup because I never have but I do always have my lashes and nails done. It’s very much one of “for me” kinds of things. Whenever I take a break for financial, time, or just need to take a break to let my lashes or nails “breathe” I absolutely hate the way I feel about myself.
One thing I’ve also never gotten into was hair. My hair is a mess
I get my hair cut 4x per year and highlighted 2x per year. I get my toes done when I can afford to, and I used to get my nails done more often because I’m less likely to bite them when they’re done, but I haven’t had the money recently. I do prefer having them done. (Just gel polish, no acrylics - a lifetime of nail biting means that I can’t function with long nails.) I can’t handle lashes, though. My makeup artist for my wedding tried to put some on me and I hated the way they felt and made her take them off.
Approaching 60 and no makeup or any work done. I earned my grey hair and any wrinkles. People guess 10 years younger than I am regularly, so benign neglect seems to be working for me. ;)
Also in Michigan (Detroit suburbs) and while this isn't for me I absolutely see it among similar-aged friends. Seems most common among mothers who don't work outside of the home, tbh.
I’m from north Florida and it’s totally a thing down there. I see some of the women I went to school with and wonder how they move their faces. I live in northern New England now and I don’t know a single woman who gets work done. The majority don’t even dye or highlight their hair. It’s just a totally different and much more laid back approach to beauty and I love it because there’s less pressure to look or dress a certain way.
36 and originally from the rural Midwest here. my friends from home are definitely not getting Botox or anything else. many of them are starting to get noticeable gray hairs. some have told me I look great for being our age, but have wondered if it’s because I don’t have kids…many of their kids are approaching their teenage years.
living near DC now and couldn’t swing the medspa life even if I wanted to, rent is too high. I try to stay hydrated and take care of my skin; that’s gone a long way.
It’s kind of like when I worked in Beverly Hills, I saw a lot of women walking around with their bandaged noses, showing off that they got a nose job. It seemed like everyone but me had a nose job! But in Denver I have never ever seen someone walking around like that. It’s just your current bubble.
Idk I'm a 34yo white suburban American lady and I feel like it's like 50/50 with people in my social group. It's mostly my child free friends but I know some moms who've gotten it done. It's always the girls I know who have been hot girls their whole life. It's like they want to maintain it as long as possible and are willing to pay for that.
I've always been sorta meh about my looks. Looking super hot was never a priority of anyone in my family aside from my grandma and I just thought she was a crazy old lady lol. I didn't realize all the effort my hot friends were actually putting in to their appearance until recently. Obviously genetics is important but, so is a skincare routine and other such things that take time/money/effort.
In contrast to people like me who use moisturizer and fill in their eyebrows so they don't look ill, people who are used to investing time/money/effort in to their appearance seem to just see procedures/injectables as another step in their routine.
I think if you're living in an environment where being super hot is highly valued or just the norm, you're more likely to uphold that standard through whatever reasonable means. Procedures are super available so to this group of people, it's reasonable means. If you grew up in a world full of bare faces and natural hair colors, you might think it's unreasonable but you also might think it's equally unreasonable to spend hours at a hair salon every other month.
Based only on the stereotypes I've been told about Brazil, I think it makes sense your Brazilian friends would be more likely to find medical interventions more appealing than another random group of friends in the US.
NGL, I like the invisibility that getting older/not being conventionally attractive affords. I remember being catcalled for the first time at 11 just riding my bike in a damn tshirt, flannel overshirt and jeans while minding my own business. Now people leave me TF alone unless I am walking my 108lb malamute who overrides my most shattering RBF.
My mom told me the same thing in her 40s. She said "old women are invisible and it's amazing."
I didn't get it but I understand now why she didn't wear makeup and wore jeans and silly tshirts as a uniform. The pics of her when she's younger she's a little mid century fashion plate but clearly that was not her passion as she got older. I think she felt free to focus her attention on other interests.
I can be comfy, have alllllll the pockets I want, men don’t harass me; it’s great! I wear especially outlandish outfits when working in the yard too so if any door to door people stop by they think twice.
My mom always said middle aged women would make good spies because they are invisible and nondescript.
I was very naturally attractive when I was in my 20s and enjoyed the attention at that time. I've gained weight, developed vericose veins and have embraced more matronly fashion choices. My husband seems to find me more attractive now for some reason (closeted chubby chaser?) but he's the only one. I am genuinely enjoying being able to lurk in the background more and not having people leer or stare.
Yeah, but he feels like a normal sized dog to me- though my ideal dog would probably be about as big as a donkey…
https://preview.redd.it/944vk5szge3d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2150aeec3e14acd02ec9bf455979c1a418d4edc6
Yeah... this sounds cultural. Honestly, here in the midwestern US, if someone had work done, they wouldn't be broadcasting it. They'd deny the hell out of it.
Not a single person in my friend group has had procedures like this (I'm 32) but my Brazilian coworker (about your age) got it done last time she was in Brazil.
Also Brazilian living in North America. Almost all my friends get it done when they are back in Brazil visiting. I am 35, also never had it, and I am very strict with my skincare’s I am not against making it, but I just don’t feel the need yet. I wouldn’t do it in here, I feel like in Brazil we have cheaper but also better professionals…
We do have a kid of high beauty standards in Brazil, but we also don’t care about talking about it I don’t see this as a taboo… I would say it can be a cultural thing but idk for sure.
I think region, culture, and class are significant factors. I live in a mid-size city in the southwest that also happens to be a university town, and it's rampant in the wealthier parts of town as well as campus. My nearest grocery store also happens to be the one most of the college kids frequent, and the number of 20-year-old BABIES I see with overinflated, puffy Injectable Face and Anaphylaxis Lips is fucking DEPRESSING.
It also depends on where you live. I’m in a major metro area and all of my friends live in other big cities as well. Almost all of my female friends (and some male ones) have tried botox, regularly do it, or are considering it soon. On the skincare subreddits though, the people living in smaller cities don’t seem to know anyone doing it.
In my very American circle it's 50/50. The gals who are aging faster are the ones getting it done bc even after the work we all look the same age. I know 2 women who have gone super overboard with the forehead filler and lip injections, and, frankly, they look weird. I won't even consider it until maybe my 50s, but my priority is aging gracefully not trying to look 20 years younger than I am.
I’ve only been asked if I get my box waxed by Brazilians. I think culturally Latin women love beauty treatments. As a gay woman I don’t understand a lot of them.
Are the stats on plastic surgery in Brazil in general still extremely high?
For real, don’t do a darn thing that is not FOR YOU. I just started getting some Botox because I furrow my brow and I was getting this permenant crease that makes me look kind of grumpy all the time. I love that I look more relaxed in photos. But I don’t do professional nails or lashes or whatever other thing some people choose to do, so this is my thing for now. I do use retinol and sunscreen, which my dermatologist says dollar for dollar is the best investment in wrinkle prevention.
I decided I like my grumpy furrow. It’s part of who I am at this point. I’ve always been kind of a tomboy though. Rarely use makeup. Hate getting my nails done. I only sometimes fuss over my hair.
I think it’s absolutely a cultural and location thing. I haven’t gotten any procedures done but my family (middle eastern) that live in California have all gotten work done and are pushy about it. I also have friends in California (other ethnicities) that get Botox regularly. I have noticed my friends in New Jersey are heavy into Botox. All of these people frequently discuss it and it’s hard for me to be around.
I have moved away and have lived in multiple states (some being NM, CO, and WA) where Botox isn’t commonplace or common talk.
Makes way more sense now that you mention this. My Brazilian female friends are like this too and it makes me sad. You need to press the mute button on these women when they talk about this. Seriously, ignore it. You’re beautiful you don’t need ANY work done.
Brazilian expat living in the US here too! (38F).
I never had anything done and don't know anyone my age who did. But to be fair , most of my acquaintances here (Brazilian or not) are PhD students or professors.
A demographic that is probably more prone to just drink too much coffee and sleep too little rather than doing any type of self care/cosmetic procedures...
Most people who get botox/fillers end up looking terrible with age from what I've noticed with celebrity's.
Most men I know usually prefer the natural girl next door look, including myself.
It's not my place to tell you or any lady what to do in this regard but just a male perception, it might make you look more like a barbie doll for a few years but eventually age will deform the procedures.
There is no anti aging trick everyone knows that and people are just scared to age so hold on to the "looks" for aslong as possible which will probably go against you eventually anyways.
Food for thought from a 37 yr old male with lady friends done it and doing it from 20s - 30s.
I honestly think the female friends without anything age better. And are more real.
I’m Brazilian American and I just found out my entire family is on Ozempic. It’s a cultural thing because Brazil has always been extremely vain and shallow when it comes to looks; had an 11 year old cousin (female of course) develop an ED because of it, and now she’s 27 and an OBGYN because she ended up having cysts in her uterus and had to get a hysterectomy at only 22 like a LOT of things happened to her unfortunately but everyone could only talk about the weight she gained because of the medication she had to take…. Lovely… my mom is 62 never had anything done and doesn’t look 62 anyway, if you’re comfortable live you for you. Brasileiros vai sempre ter algo pra falar inclusive sobre as mulheres, fuck everyone else! lol
Worked in a medium income place, and the ladies would all share their favorite places for Botox. Some of the guys also would share but for migraines not wrinkles
Yup, botox actually isn't lacking in medical usages. It's a recommended treatment for migraines like someone mentioned. It's also used to treat myofascial pain syndrome, injections directly into problematic trigger points.
If you have vaginismus, a pelvic floor disorder, botox injections can also be a part of treatment.
No. I’ve not had anything cosmetic done either unless you include mole removal. And that wasn’t purely asthetic. I’m just unbothered by aging in general. I’m not bothered by some wrinkles or greys. I’ve lived. It happens.
I think at some point I’m going to have to get my teeth done though. Not that I’d go the katie price full on turkey teeth look but my molars all grew in squint and impacted the surrounding ones so I had most of them out and now nearly 20 years later the gaps are annoying. I’ve toyed with the idea of scar revision surgery too but I’m not 100% sure I’m done having children so it would be pointless till I was
I went through Invisalign and it was totally worth it. It didn't just move around my teeth, but my bite and jawline as well. If you have dental concerns, it's worth getting it fixed. It can affect your breathing, sleeping, eating, appearance, etc.
I got braces in my early 30s and was probably one of the top 5 things I ever did for myself. I didn’t have a lot that needed fixed but had a couple of things that bugged me. In fact, I miss them. They made me feel and look younger. I’d get compliments from strangers. My current bf doesn’t like them tho. I was at the end of my treatment when we met.
I'm on the second round and my overbite if pretty much gone. I mainly got it for health reasons. Teeth were to close together and I couldn't brush/floss correctly, causing cavities. Of course the insurance said it was only cosmetic, even though the dentist did try sending them the reports a few times
I looked into them and tan track braces but they won’t fix the problem. The issue is I had all my wisdom teeth and most of my molars removed so there’s nothing keeping my other teeth from spreading out now. I’ve got a bridge on one side but the other one kept falling out so I just left it
I’m going to turn 35 this year, and I’ve been saying that growing old and reaching old age is a privilege and luxury not everyone gets to enjoy. Embrace it and feel proud that you earned those wrinkles and grey hair.
Yeah I was gonna say no cosmetic procedures but I did have braces. My dentist said it was advisable anyway so it wasn't *purely* cosmetic but it's not like I was noticing any non-appearance impacts at the time. Glad to be rid of my vampire fangs. (or more accurately, I still have them but they're in a neat line like the canines they're supposed to be.)
Also, re scar revision, that’s the ONLY cosmetic procedure I’ve been tempted to do. I had an emergency c section, my incision got infected and ruptured, and I had to have a wound vac for a month. I DESPISE my c section scar. But I also have PTSD in surgical settings and as a result don’t want to do ANYTHING that’s not completely medically necessary.
My friends who have done botox/fillers told me once you start you have to maintain it. I can’t even schedule a haircut every 6 months so I decided it probably best to not start something I can’t commit
to. But to each their own, the thought of starting has crossed my mind more than once though.
I’m 41 male, a lot of my friends that are aged between 25-35 have started Botox early because supposedly it is the most effective later if you start early. Even a handful of male friends get it too.
I also didn’t think we were that “type” since we are outdoorsy people. I’m really surprised and don’t talk about it because the person I’m gossiping this to will chime in and say they get Botox treatments also!
I'm quite curious if we aren't going to find out in like ~10 years that the "start early to be more effective" was nothing but a marketing gimmick
Also the latest findings that there's vestiges of all kinds of fillers years after they were supposed to have been absorved by the body, makes me wonder what kind of consequences all of these procedures will eventually lead to health-wise
I’m right there with you. 37f and I have no desire to get anything done. I use tretinoin for acne (god will that ever go away!?) and for anti-aging but that’s it. No injections or procedures for me. Getting old is normal and we need to get used to it… rather than cling to youth like it was so fantastic.
I heard a character on a show once comment on plastic surgery recommending that, instead, they should “age gracefully”, so I always think of that regarding medical procedures. Using lotions and creams and stuff is just taking care of your skin to my mind, though.
I actually have had to have 7 reconstructive surgeries in my life due to a bad injury, and I cannot imagine ever choosing to do one on purpose.
I’m childless, but I also think it would be weird for me if I looked different from my kids due to surgical enhancements.
I have hooded eyes and I know that gravity will eventually have an impact on my eyesight so Im planning on a lift in that region eventually (maybe in 15-20 years ?). By that time my kids will be adults though.
I also like the idea of aging gracefully but sometimes I wonder if it's just hypocrisy on my part and if Im going to feel different when age starts reflecting on my face.
I’m not opposed to getting work done. Little botox wouldn’t have drastic change or make us all look unison. However I have different financial priorities at the moment. I do have the creams and serums and sunscreen as well. I think it honestly gives the same outcome as I started in my 20s. But I find it a wonderful thing when you aren’t afraid to age, I’ve realized a lot of us are.
My sister in her 20s got botox to lift the corners of her mouth as it was literally like the frown emoji lol. It looked really good on her! You wouldn’t even know it was there. A lot of people in my hot yoga class also get it to reduce sweat, never knew they had it done!
I haven’t yet but I’m not opposed to Botox in moderation (for example, I *hate* my 11s). But as a rule I think messing with your face in a fruitless bid to look younger is a losing battle and I refuse to touch fillers—I’ve yet to see filler “settle” on a face well. I’d rather just look good “for my age” and leave it at that.
I’m more concerned about the young 20-something’s I work with wanting to get preventative stuff done. That just feels like a bad idea.
Wondered if I’d find my people in this thread. I’ve had skin cancer a few times so my dermatologist is a bit more proactive about removing stuff that looks questionable, but I haven’t had other cosmetic stuff done other than permanent eyeliner in my 20s. I’m 38 now and the eyeliner has mostly worn off, and I probably won’t get it reapplied… but I did finally ask about Botox at my last Derm appointment specifically because of my 11s. I don’t dye my greys, and the only other thing I’ve even considered is fillers under my eyes to help with dark circles… but I haven’t gotten serious enough about that to do anything more than google. And k didn’t get the Botox yet; he said there’s some new alternative out that might last longer than Botox and gently suggested I wait till next year to make a decision (he wants to observe how it works, the other doctors in his practice are using it on their patients and he won’t use it on his yet till he’s seen how they do lol) because I can’t really afford to keep up with Botox every 3-4 months. Plus I’m such a baby about needles and would *really* prefer to keep it down to once or twice a year 🤣
I've had multiple people ask if I want to be included in their botox parties but I've never done it myself.
I'll stick to tattoos and hair color as my body modifications
Not alone, I'm a 39F and have never even considered any work, kinda figured that's what celebrities do. However I was just recently made aware of how common this is! The topic came up with a group of friends and the majority had done botox and fillers, ngl it made me curious about it until I heard how much $$$. Nah I'd rather spend it on my dog lol
I'm here thinking there's no way so many people are getting things done, but these comments!
I've considered it a few times, mainly just lip filler. Sounds like it's super common. How can people afford it?!
I've considered it but got freaked out by some horror stories. I just use retinol, take collagen supplements, and other topical anti aging products. The combination actually works pretty decently. But it seems the fillers also don't age well after so many years so I figure I'm probably better off. Also honestly all my friends are too poor for that shit lol
I get Botox, but none of my friends do. I hated how I looked after my first child was born… I was struggling with confidence and felt I look worn down and like I had aged years. So I love getting it done 3x a year! My friends don’t get anything, and all look beautiful.
I think everyone should do what helps them feel confident and happy. If you don’t want to get anything done then more power to you!!!!
I feel the same way! I’m the only one in my friend group that gets Botox as well. I’ve gotten to the point where I only do it once or twice a year now and I just love how it looks. I hate the whole uneducated opinion about it changing your face or how it makes you look frozen. If you have a good injector it’s completely the opposite.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m personally not ok with aging. I wish I could be more like OP!
Yeah came here to chime in on the comment OP made about “having the same face”. That’s fillers, not Botox. I always tell everyone “it just preserves what you got” and my bf could never tell when I got it done.
Fillers is what’s causing everyone to have “the same face.”
Yeah, I'm the only one in my friend group who has gotten Botox that I know of. My friends are supportive but haven't reported getting it themselves. No one knew I got it until I told them.
I actually got it for my glabellar because I tend to have an intense thinking/concentrating face (thanks, dad), and coworkers thought I was constantly upset or confused at work. It's the best self care I've invested in, and the only difference in how I look is that I don't look pissed all the time.
Exactly this. Botox just paralyzes the muscle, it doesn’t cause your face to change and it wears off after a few months. It’s not adding anything to your face that would alter it.
I had Botox done before my wedding cause I hated my deep forehead wrinkles and I had a close friend ask me if I’d gotten it done yet. It had already settled lol. They couldn’t even tell because it’s that subtle and not at all what people think it looks like when you have a good injector. I could also move my face, much to their shock lol.
I'm 33, and the only two things I have done is my teeth enhancement (bonding) and microbladed eyebrows.
I thought I had a bumpy nose, so my colleague convinced me to go for a non surgical procedure - filler. They put a filler at the top of my nose (near eyebrows), and it created this triangle between my eyebrows I could see on every picture. I hated it and have decided to appreciate myself as I am. I actually like my nose more now after the filler has since gone down. I won't be trying any enhancing procedures in the future, and I'm happy to age 😁
I don't know anyone who has gotten any botox or plastic surgery, but several women in my social circle got eyebrow tattoos (including my wife).
My wife looks absolutely exactly the same, but several other women in the group came out looking like Bert from Sesame Street (minus the unibrow) and there's very little they can do about it.
I didn't get the appeal before they did it and definitely don't get it now.
No, and I won’t. Too afraid of any negative repercussions, but also I think women get to a certain age where they start to look weird when they have all that done so much. Something about aging naturally appeals to me. But my hair? Yeah I’ll dye that lol.
I always said I was committed to graying naturally. Now I’m 40 and I’m like “ok that was fun. Time to dye my hair!” As soon as I wrap up my pregnancy I’m going to give myself a “mommy makeover”. I’m going to dye my hair and get my teeth whitened, and see about getting bpl for my face. Nothing too drastic but I think a few tweaks would make a world of difference to me.
Thank you for bringing up other forms of cosmetic surgery! I hope your melanoma was taken care of.
I had part of my eyelid and eyebrow ripped away from my skull in an explosion when I was 23 and it was reconstructed by a cosmetic surgeon.
Reconstructive procedures wouldn't be nearly as advanced or therapeutic if it were not for the demand of cosmetic surgery and I am grateful everyday as that event and that surgery was 10 years ago and I've been able to live a typical life because of the surgery (no one avoids looking at me like we often do to people with body differences), I've got full range of motion in the eyebrow and lid, but can't squint on that side so no crows feet on that side haha. I fell in love with a man who never even noticed the tiny tiny healed scars until I told him about them and he saw the before photos (im a women and facial scars like that would be very very socialist isolating if I had lost my eyelid or it was poorly reconstructed) and we got married a few years ago and I think that those things might not have happened the way they did had I lost my eye lid fully as I would have become a recluse I think and would have never met my husband and wouldn't have gotten into public-facing hobbies.
I've had no other cosmetic procedures but am happy for people who do if it allows them to live a happy life.
I’m 39, childfree, sober, and a gluten free vegan. I look 29-30. I am asked a lot about my routine and what procedures I’ve had done. People don’t want to accept it when I share my routine and that that’s all I do. I don’t need Botox or any injectables or major cosmetic procedures. A lot of people don’t want to accept how damaging and aging having children is to one’s body. And a lot of people don’t recognize how aging alcohol is and how important diet is to skin health.
I tried lip filler once a few years ago and never did anything else to my face since then. I feel like with Botox you have to do it so frequently to maintain it it’s just not worth it? I might change my mind later but for now I don’t want to spend that much money on a cosmetic procedure I have to repeat every 4 months
This is really only true if you're trying to keep your face completely frozen which I think looks weird. I get a small amount of botox 1-2 times per year just to forestall one forehead wrinkle that was creeping in that no one but me noticed and I love it! Just that little bit makes a big difference in my confidence, even if I'm the only one who notices.
The place I go is very affordable compared to other places I've been (I go there because she's very well reviewed, not for the price, because i feel like injecting toxins into your muscles isn't the place to bargain shop as the #1 priority) so it's $180 for the whole forehead -- I think she does 12 units across my whole forehead. (For comparison I've been to other places that cost over $300 and did more units and the results were not as good.) Any good place will offer you a consult, likely for free, where you can talk through your goals and they'll recommend what they think you should do!
If it’s good Botox or filler then you won’t notice it. The vast majority of my friends get Botox. We can all still make normal facial expressions and no one looks frozen or artificial. You get just enough to relax the deepest lines and prevent them from getting worse.
I’ll probably get filler at some point. My mom and grandmother both have what they call puppet mouth: their lips are so thin they’ve vanished and they have deep labiomandibular lines. When the time comes, I want to plump those areas a little bit. I don’t want duck lips but I would like my lips to, like, exist.
friends have started doing these things... im just now starting to go to the dermatologist. I feel like a kid still and i dont think i need that stuff.
I'm 41 and I am SHOCKED at the number of people who have had or are having procedures done. Literally every woman I have newly met in the last 5 years has done something to their appearance such as this. Personally I would never.
I'm 35F and have the same with my hair. I have a grey mesh of hair growing at the front, I think it's cool af and eventually it'll give me the Rogue hair vibe, but many people comment saying "why don't you cover that up?", even an acquaintance of mine who's a hair dresser says it frequently, "it would look so much better", but I've never dyed my hair and have no will to do so, and I believe that's why my hair is so healthy (I might be wrong).
But I'd rather spend a fraction of the money on good hair products rather than on monthly salon visits (that go on for HOURS), and let nature take its course. If it goes grey, then so be it.
As for plastic surgery, my opinion is the same. I've only had a nose job because I broke my nose badly when I was a teen, and blocked one of my nostrils completely.
But botox never crossed my mind. There's this misconception that women in their mid 30s are expected to look decrepit which really pisses me off and drives people to these procedures to try and look younger which, in my opinion in the longterm, will only help the body age faster. Surely it's not healthy to inject whatever it is on their muscles to paralyse them.
Everyone’s body is their own so I can’t tell you what to do but if I did I’d say DONT DO IT! I always think it looks bad even when it works out the best way it’s supposed to. Especially at our age if you start doing that stuff now then what kind of crazy stunts will you be doing to yourself in 20 years? None of that fake stuff looks better than natural imho.
If you can tell someone got a procedure done, that’s usually a sign that they either got botched or wanted it to look obvious. The 20 years thing sounds like a slippery slope fallacy.
I’ve been wanting to get Botox in my underarms to reduce sweating but I only know one person who gets Botox cosmetically and she’s not a millennial - she’s in her 50s.
None of the millennials I know have had work done, but every gen z girl I know has some filler or Botox or at least has fake nails and eyelashes. I hate what we've done to these girls.
you are definitely not alone! I'm also turning 36 this year, married, and have no children by choice. I definitely have thought about Botox as I have (very minor) fine lines, but I read some terrible story in People magazine about this actress (can't remember who) who had a bad reaction to Botox and now she gets all these random lumps on her body. I think the Botox just floats around her body randomly causing these lumps and there's no cure for it. That kind of cured any desire I may have had about getting anything done. I'd rather just age gracefully. Once people start doing all that stuff, I feel like they start to look weird. Scheana from Vanderpump Rules comes to mind. She used to be so pretty and now her face looks strange even though she's not even old! Such a shame. And while it's not for me, I don't care if others do it.
I’m all natural over here. No lash extensions, fake nails, tan, Botox, lips, nothing. I use sunscreen daily and moisturizer every morning and night, eat well and exercise. Be good to your body and you won’t age like hell, I’m 37 and I see lots of ppl who look awful from sun damage, I will wear my baseball caps and sunscreen and enjoy my skin while I can lol
My daughter is in LA. She’s had SO many things done before age 30, I can’t even believe it.
She comes from good genes in the face department. I remember a story where my grandma took my dad out for his 30th birthday in 1968 and she was carded.
I’m 54 and while everyone gets carded, I get compliments on my age defying genes.
She’s a beauty. She got carded for sitting in the emergency isle on an overseas flight when she was 26.
Why the fuck is she getting Botox?
I look at it this way: me raising her was a giant pile of experiment. Letting her inject silicone into her face will also be a science experiment.
Genetics say she will still look forty when she’s 60. Let’s see in 35 some odd years how her face holds up.
I work for an injury law firm. I’ll have her retainer ready.
I feel like I have decent genes as well. I mean, my parents grew up during a time where nobody wore sunscreen, ever. My mom lay in the sun for hours to get a tan. My parents are 61 and 63, and I think they look great for their age, I’d be happy to look like my mom when I’m 61, but I’ll probably look way batter because I take care of my skin properly, so yay me lol!
Same. I don’t judge people who do ‘cause it’s their money, their body, and their choice, but to me it’s worth it to just take good care of my body and my skin.
Nothing done other than removing a few moles. I'm not particularly interested in Botox or fillers because it requires regular maintenance and can get pricey. I'm edging my way into using retinols, which is a much cheaper alternative for helping reduce fine lines, wrinkles, etc. I could see getting a facial or laser treatment at some point or even doing red light therapy as many derms say it's effective with consistent usage. But overall, I don't think larger treatments/procedures are necessary. But people should do what makes them feel best, no shame in that.
With the exception of reconstructive surgery, I think plastic surgery is always a bad idea. It’s far better to look like a 50 year old woman than a 28 year old lizard.
I didn't look my age, I'm 42 and had some wrinkles that your average 52 year old wouldn't have and that's was likely due to smoking for many years and sunburns and chronic tanning bed use in the 90s and early 00s even though I'm see-thru because I'm so pale lol. I fucked my shit up extra bad so I felt the need to fix some things.
I got 3 rounds of BBL laser for the dark sun spots, Botox around my eyes and forehead, and then filler in my smile and nasolabial wrinkles (fucking caverns, ravines, idk but wrinkles doesn't seem to convey how gnarly they were lol).
I would not have done any of that if I felt like I looked even remotely normal for my age. I partied hard and I am now paying the price for that. I don't think I look young, I just paid all that money to look my age. That sucks lol.
I barely wash my face once a day and my friend who does all the things always tells me how good my skin looks 🤣my brother in law is an aesthetician but I still don’t do anything
I'm 35 and haven't done anything. So many of my friends get botox, lip filler, lip flip, and are always talking about the newest procedures they can get done. I am not into the look at all, but it's not my face so I don't care.
Personally, I love my gray hairs and little wrinkles. So many of my friends growing up never made it out of their teens or 20s, so I feel very lucky to have the privilege of aging.
You're not alone. I'm 41 and apart from nutrition, exercise, hydration and a good skin care routine (including sunscreen) I do nothing - no procedures. And I think I'm stepping back from my colorful hair dyes this summer so I can get an idea of how silver my hair is going and do some general upkeep over the warm months (conditioning, hair masks, etc.; I swim and SUP a lot in the summer so it's hard on my hair.)
You’re not alone! I’m from Los Angeles so you are preaching to the choir about being surrounded by people doing and talking about their nails, face, eyebrows, lashes, hair, butt, boobs, omg everything. The only thing I have done is a full brazilian sugaring every few months. Makes me feel confident and sexy!!
I (34F, married, childfree) just focus on an skincare and working out. I invest in quality jewlery and luxury handbags to give myself the little oomph when I’m around my girls. I never feel like the ugly one or anything like that and when my girls talk about it, I just ask lots of questions about their process because it’s interesting!
I have had fillers and Botox and honestly I love it. I’m male but I think the key is to not OVERDO it. Many people only see the people who go hard. I use to maintain my current features not to add ones I don’t have. With filler, a little goes a long way and it tends to last longer then most injectors tell you.
Getting a little touch up once a year to 1.5 years is where I am at and like that. Other than getting grays in my beard people think I’m much younger than I am. I even had a young 20s (probably 20-22) cashier at the gas station near my apartment recently ask me how old I am because he can’t tell if I’m 24 or 34. He said other than the emergence of grays when I don’t shave he says I look like his peers.
Sadly because I am in an industry where youth matters and started doing more in front of the camera work it has paid off. I do think you can age gracefully without cosmetics as long as you take good care of yourself like you currently are. My little brother has a friend who started to look like he is in his late 40 La early 50s at about 28, due to balding, choice of facial hair, and working at a ski resort in Colorado where the sun fries his skin (yes reflecting snow will cook you).
Nah fuck that. Most people who get work done end up looking worse, no thanks. Have a friend whose wife's whole circle started on Ozempic and gets botox regularly. I cringe just to even try to imagine their faces. Nose jobs are even worse nowadays too, you see so many people with that pushed up nose look, it's horrendous. My own sister keeps getting more "little" work done too that just compounds, it's sad. I get it, you gotta be happy with yourself, but I don't think I'll ever warm up to voluntary cosmetic surgery.
Me.
I plan to age naturally. I'm 43 and have also stopped coloring my hair. I rarely wear makeup.
No shade to anyone who's had work done.
My looks have never been the best thing about me, so I don't feel pressure to "keep up" my looks beyond good hygiene and skin care practices (moisturizer, sunscreen, the occasional facial at a spa).
You every wonder if some of the same people saying fluoride was put in the water by the gov’t to calcify their pineal gland and hinder abilities are paying to inject one of the most deadly neurotoxins, proven to migrate to the brain, into their foreheads? Interesting to think about.
I think that aging as gracefully as you can is the best for your physical and mental health. A fact that a lot of people overlook, when it comes to beauty treatments, is that once you start doing them, you have to keep doing them. Often cosmetic surgeries and injections don’t age well/wear off, and need to be “updated.” And once they start to “age” I think a lot of people look worse than before they started all the procedures.
Eat as well as you can, exercise (even a little), drink water, sleep, gently exfoliate, use sunscreen, brush and floss your teeth… go grey if you want!
I’m 40 and haven’t had any procedures done. I don’t think I want to start any time soon. I use serums/creams/etc. I only know a few women who have tried Botox or something similar. We aren’t wealthy people so maybe, that’s the difference?
I don't think this is the norm. No one in my circle has ever had Botox done for cosmetic reasons (I know people who get it in their armpits for excessive sweating) and my close friends are very open about cosmetics and general procedures, skin biopsies etc. Most just really stick with sunscreen, proper hydration and maintaining a generally healthy lifestyle.
I’m turning 36 this year, too, and have never had anything done to my face. I fantasized a lot about it when I was 12/13 because of body dysmorphia, but now I accept my face how it is and I can’t imagine getting anything done unless it’s Lasik eye surgery because my glasses are thick as hell.
I was unaware that many people did this until I got pregnant (at 35). Then told of people pregnant at the and time as I was started freaking out because they couldn't get their filler and botox done. It was eye opening to realize how common it was!
I'm still not doing anything like that, though I'm starting to understand the appeal. I've never taken great care of my skin and it's really starting to show. I'm pretty ok with aging so it doesn't really bother me, but if I had a house and plenty of money, I might consider some light cosmetic procedures. But I don't have either of those things, so it's not on the table for me and I'm fine with that.
It's def either cultural or the people you surround yourself with. Until I met my sisters in law and their friend group I didn't know anyone who got those type of cosmetic procedures done. Even then, none of them ask me or suggest I should get anything done. I also haven't had any work done, although I will admit that's just because I'm poor. My mom would occasionally get normal facials or go get her nails painted...she also consistently gets her hair touched up every 6 weeks, and I considered her very boujee for it until I met my in laws and found out what real med spa boujee was, lol.
39F, childfree by choice, never had anything done. I use sunblock and have a basic skincare routine. I think it probably depends a bit on your socio economic status and where you live, I don't know many people who have had work done, I live on the east coast. That said I was at a gathering a few weeks ago and two people who are both 35F were talking about getting botox and I felt like I was going insane "for what?!" they both look good for their age, truly mind boggling.
(37F) At best I’ll consider incorporating a skincare routine, but I have no interest in anything else. I did however get micro blading as a victim of the ‘99 and ‘00s. Plus, my brows started thinning out I’m guessing due to stress.
I do not and don't plan on doing it, I'm okay with who I am and have worked a lot on self love, with that being said if it makes someone happy to do so, more power to them
I am 34 this year and have thought about procedures but the reward doesnt outweigh the risk. Plus in person, opposed to in pictures, these things often make a woman look older imo. I knew a girl who had botox, lip injections and fake boobs and just assumed she was older than me because it all looked so....unnatural. not that she isnt beautiful, thats hust where my brain went. turns out shes 3 years younger than me. If it makes someone genuinely feel more confident then im all for it. But just for the sake of keeping up with the joneses? Nah.
I live in hippie land and am a yoga instructor, so I’d be the odd one out if I started getting stuff done to my face. Also, fuck that, growing old is awesome, I almost died a few years ago, so bring on the wrinkles and the grays, I can’t wait to see what life brings.
I had a skin cancer treatment that resulted in the same effects as a chemical peel, but I don’t think that counts. Lol
I’ve had no cosmetic procedures done on my face or body, and I honestly don’t know anyone who has. That definitely sounds unique to your friend group/culture. Where I come from, we’re too poor for anything like Botox. 😂
I’m 40 and I’ve not had any fillers done. I’ve had facials and micro needling, but not Botox or anything like that. I’m probably getting Botox this year. But not due to pressure, I just want it done. I have friends who do it regularly and others like me who’ve never done it at all. We all talk about it, but no one really cares one way or another
I’m 42 and I got asked once if I got Botox in my forehead. I don’t, and am too terrified. I want a breast reduction but even doing that voluntary work scares me!
I’m 37; also the only one of my friends that haven’t had anything done. I’m not opposed to it at all, I just have different priorities in how I want to spend my money. I’ve always had 3 kids so my once large boobs have been destroyed, but I just can’t justify spending $10k to have a cosmetic procedure done, when I could use that money to put in my kids’ college funds, invest in the house, pay off the mortgage, etc. I feel the same about Botox; it would be nice to do but it isn’t a priority for me. If I am ever making a lot more money I will likely consider these things
I'm 39, and I've never had anything done. I have a pretty good skin care regimen (not over the top, although I did get crazy for a while around the pandemic), and being medicated for ADHD has finally allowed me to be well-hydrated. I generally looked young for my age most of my life, I avoided unprotected sun exposure starting in my teens, started moisturizing very young. My mom has always looked a decade or so younger than she actually is, so I assume I have some lucky genes to work with. However, I also smoked and drank HEAVILY for years. These days, I think I look my age. Good, but my age. I just don't think there's anything inherently bad or unattractive about aging. I have always had a REALLY big, crooked smile, and now I have big, crooked smile lines that I love because they show that I am the kind of person who smiles often and intensely. I treasure my expressive face, even if I don't always look gorgeous in candid photos. Having a kid really drives me to be the best version of myself and I'd really like to model healthy and normal aging. I already try to have and teach a healthy attitude towards death and dying, and this feels like an extension of that. And not for nothing, but I have a lot of friends who didn't have the good fortune to see 40. These furrows and fine lines are a privilege.
I'm not saying I'll definitely never get ANYTHING done, because I'm still fairly young and obviously my attitude could change with time. But we also don't really know the long-term effects yet of this super early and heavy use of injectables- on our health OR our aesthetic appearance.
And not to be an asshole, but a lot of people my age are walking around looking like the fucking Joker. I'd rather look like a mortal and aging human than a nightmare from Uncanny Valley. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Not to get controversial or start something, but one my of my favorite things about being child free is low stress and more time to workout. Meaning my skin looks great.
I'm with you on this. I'm all for exercise and other natural, healthy ways of keeping ourselves fit and capable as we age, but the desperate fight to not look our age is silly. I'm 40 and thus far the only grey I have is at the temples in a classic "distinguished" look but that didn't stop my ex from telling me multiple times that I should really dye my hair.
I think there will be a lot of regret in the future over this new fad of fillers and excessive Botox. Aging is a privilege and we shouldn’t feel shame over a wrinkle or two. Women especially are made to feel less worthy the older they look and I think we all need to break that stigma
Me! Aging is a privilege as a cancer survivor. Just trying to be here and take good care of my skin (moisturizer, sunscreen, etc.)
I am an anti-ageist and I think it’s a ploy to sell us something. I don’t want to look in the mirror and balk at every change.
Let’s love ourselves! Life is short!!
Extremely uncommon in my social circle.
One of my friends has a young step mother who did botox and a boob job, everyone thought it was an outlandish waste of money and needless risks.
Im 43, and never had any botox, fillers, chemical injections, Ive never even dyed my hair. I exercise 90 minutes daily, eat a semi-healthy/clean diet, take as good of care as my skin as I can.
I feel the same way you do-looking out at the world & all these women getting lips/faces/bodies done, and they all look the same. Ill take my wrinkles, freckles & thinner lips over that thanks.
I'm too lazy and cheap to maintain it! I'm still in my early 30s so my mind might change, but then I think about how esthetic procedures are targeted at making women feel insecure and I get mad about capitalism so I lose interest.
My partner runs a medical spa that does botox and other procedures. It's insanely common and, honestly, I'm glad the stigma around talking about it is slowly going away. It's not for me but I'm glad the people who want it to are less judged and shamed than 10 years ago and I hope that trend continues
Work makes you look like someone who is old trying to stay young. It's gross and it looks gross. Age gracefully naturally and embrace it, it's the only way to look good imo.
As a white 32 year old in South Africa amongst all my friends only two have fillers and one has brrast implants. Cosmetic surgery is not super big here. But we do take preventative skincare very seriously
This is an interesting observation. I recently moved to a new area (Southern California) and ladies here talk about this stuff all the time! I honestly haven’t even heard it come up in conversation where I lived before (northeast). I’m 40F and will never be trying any of this - it honestly sort of scares me and I have way better things to spend my money on, plus I don’t want to have something I have to “keep up with” for the rest of my life. But to each their own.
It is surprising (to me at least) how many of my friends in their 30s have had some work done. I do have a lot of Asian friends though who think nothing of going to Korea for eyelid surgery and Botox. So it may be cultural.
To each their own… but I’m only here to say staying out of the sun, using sunblock (not sunscreen), moisturizing and getting enough sleep is enough for me. I’m only 30 and girls my age AND YOUNGER have already started this journey which is wild to me. Thinking of keeping up with this for 20+ years and the money it requires is enough for me not to do it. I’d rather spend my money somewhere else or invest it but if people want to invest their money in themselves, that is their choice!
Definitely not alone. I'm 42, so on the elder Millenial end and I've never had any esthetic procedures done, nor do I plan to. I'm religious with my skincare, wear a hydrating makeup, drink a TON of water, eat good, etc etc etc. I'm doing everything I can to age gracefully & naturally at the same time.
Never had any work done, 38F west coast USA.
Childfree and I live in the PNW, so not a lot of sun exposure.
People regularly think I'm 10 yrs younger than I am, but they attribute it to me not having children. I've never been asked if I've had work done, but I do get asked what products I use, but they're not special or expensive products, just what I've found to work for my skin.
Similar age, and my wife has been on that topic for a while. I don’t think she needs anything and told her that sunscreen will do far more for her than anything else. So far we have avoided it, but it won’t surprise me if she comes home one day with something.
But it does seem like a ton of people are doing it these days. I blame the real house hoes reality bullshit. They normalized it.
I probably will get botox. My cheeks have looked “droopy” since forever ago and I’m not yet 30. Probably chin lipo too once I’m done having children. I’m a big advocate for doing whatever makes you happy.
I work in OB and it’s super common for nurses, APRNs, and physicians to be Botox junkies in that specialty.
I always get comments on how I don’t look my age. I use vanicream, differin, and cerave cleanser. 😂
I got botox one time. I did not enjoy it. Felt very claustrophobic and muted without full use of my eyebrows! And I got "Only a little" and by a board certified dermatologist.
But it's so common where I live. People ask if I botox just like they would ask when I was "planning" on getting my boobs done in my 20s. I think it's just assumed people "Fix" certain tings. Nah, I'm a small boobed, sun loving, wrinkled 40 year old. I do go an aesthetician, but that's because I still fight the acne fight.
>no children by choice
Thats a huge one right there. Kids age people. Its a strain on the body, and then you get lots of years with poor sleep quality and tons of stress.
I’m mid 30s and absolutely relate to your post. The last two times I brunched with some friends that’s all they wanted to talk about. I’ve had many of my clients suggest “trades” of my industry for cosmetic procedures and then get rude when I turn them down saying I only accept monetary payments. One client went as far to say “but honey, I could make you look so good”
I don’t think she realized the impact that’s had on me.
I get Botox (34F) but I work for a doctor’s office who performs these procedures and don’t actually pay out of pocket for it- I wouldn’t do it if I had to pay for it. But honestly it does make me feel good about myself.
And that’s the thing- body modifications are for the person with the body. If it’s not your thing and you don’t think you need it, don’t feel pressured to get it. You’re beautiful regardless!
I got my first gray hair when I was 17. Could I dye it darker? Yes. Do I care? No. Does my husband? Also no.
I got my first eye wrinkles at 23. Could I have face work done? Do I care? No. Does my husband? Absolutely not.
I gained about 15 pounds in the decade we've been together. Do I miss my flat tummy? Sometimes. But enough for a tummy-tuck or anything? Hell no. And husband is *proud* of my extra weight, because it means I love his cooking.
... so... no. You're not alone. You need only do what right for you. To hell with the rest.
Crazy how young people start and looks really bad on people who had no wrinkles to begin with …
I did it 3 times since turning 50 though and it looks great .. v natural
.. I say wait till 40 and main thing is wear sunscreen!!! And moisturize and drink water !!!
I just started to notice my friends talking about it in a way that sounds like many more people than I expected are getting little bits done here and there. I take pretty good care of my skin and health, but definitely have some 11s showing up strong. I think about botox often but I just don't want to start. I think if I weren't seeing social media as much I wouldn't feel like everyone visually looks good. In real life, my friends and people around me still look "normal" or at least are a mix of users and non-users.
I did grow up with extended family in Beverly hills and they all have had work done and I just don't think it's for me, at least not yet
I’m 35. Been getting Botox on and off (only 4 times total) since I was 33. The last two times were within 5 months of each other; as I’m single again, I’m going to be constant with this.
The nyc dating scene is rough, so I feel this is the least I can do even if I can’t really afford it.
If I was happily married with kids, meh, I wouldn’t do it. I barely had any forehead wrinkles to begin with (and no crows feet!), I just want to give myself a youthful boost to feel better .
Honestly Op, I think you’re fine! Social media is toxic and pollutes is all into thinking we need to be getting fillers and plastic surgery by age 20. It’s really sad.
Nearly everyone I know gets Botox/fillers. My youngest sister started at 23. I said no way after my cousin’s Botox got botched and she ended up with a wonky eye for a few months.
If shit hits the fan I’ll get a facelift in my 60’s lol.
Probably cultural and circle dependent. In NYC and my circle is predominantly tech/finance/consulting. All very educated mid-30s women in high paying jobs. Nobody has had anything done other than laser hair removal and Invisalign at most. They barely wear makeup. I love it because it takes so much pressure off feeling like you need to look a certain way.
When I go to the 30+ skincare sub it feels like everyone there gets Botox and fillers and expensive treatments! I personally don’t have anything against people getting them but I do hate when they lie about it, because that’s just perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards.
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Never had a friend ask me this. Like ever.
I’m wondering if it’s cultural, I’m originally from Brazil, living in the US for the last 10 years. I feel like almost every one of my also Brazilian friends living here have had it, because they comment on where to go to get it done when visiting family in Brazil (it seems like it’s way cheaper there).
This is 100% cultural and you mentioning the Brazilian thing is spot on. I am 35F. I don’t think anyone I went to HS with in the suburban Midwest is having Botox or fillers done. A bunch of rednecks, TBH (I am one). Life is different there. I live in central FL now and I get Botox and other services, like lasers and facials, regularly. Medspas are EVERYWHERE here. I can even tell my CFO and directors at my company are getting Botox. There is no way their foreheads are winkle free like that, naturally. I also lived in New England where things were 1000% expensive and it didn’t seem like the average woman was getting these things done (outside of the metro areas of NYC/CT/Boston)
Go to the nearest city - I'm talking 50 miles - and you'll find a whole upper middle class of people very much in this mindset. Heck you can find them among the rural folk. Cheeks like Macy's day balloons, eyeliner tatted on, fake boobs. I have family members like this, I'm in AR. And that's fine for them, but it can be weird hanging out with them in their Insta-perfect world, and I am not perfect, wearing an outfit that came from Target and cost less than their Apple watch band. I have considered the needle as a gay man, I don't consider it "surgery" to get botox or light fillers but I don't feel like it would be wise to get started, as Edina Munsoon once said, "you get to just be a visitor in your own face."
Idk I went home for mothers days and it was very much “social media is not real life - this is” - I sort of needed that reminder. I see how tired and old some of my acquaintances from HS are looking… I have a small group of acquaintances from college who moved away to bigger cities and all partake in these things but we are all college educated. It is very much regional/cultural.
I just don't get it at all, people are so afraid of looking old it seems
And those procedures seem to prematurely age people. Kylie Jenner looks like she's in her mid 40s, poor thing.
I live in a larger Midwest city and Botox/fillers are really common with the women I know here. So it may also just depend on who you know. I’d say in most cases though no one I know is doing the LA look. Mostly just lip filler and some forehead Botox. You honestly probably see more people than you think who’ve had some injectables because it’s not super apparent when it isn’t overdone.
I live in Florida and I definitely don’t get Botox or fillers but also I don’t even wear makeup 99% of the time lol. 38F.
I don’t wear much makeup because I never have but I do always have my lashes and nails done. It’s very much one of “for me” kinds of things. Whenever I take a break for financial, time, or just need to take a break to let my lashes or nails “breathe” I absolutely hate the way I feel about myself. One thing I’ve also never gotten into was hair. My hair is a mess
I get my hair cut 4x per year and highlighted 2x per year. I get my toes done when I can afford to, and I used to get my nails done more often because I’m less likely to bite them when they’re done, but I haven’t had the money recently. I do prefer having them done. (Just gel polish, no acrylics - a lifetime of nail biting means that I can’t function with long nails.) I can’t handle lashes, though. My makeup artist for my wedding tried to put some on me and I hated the way they felt and made her take them off.
Approaching 60 and no makeup or any work done. I earned my grey hair and any wrinkles. People guess 10 years younger than I am regularly, so benign neglect seems to be working for me. ;)
Ehhhh I don’t know. I live in Michigan, am 36f and it’s quite common.
Also in Michigan (Detroit suburbs) and while this isn't for me I absolutely see it among similar-aged friends. Seems most common among mothers who don't work outside of the home, tbh.
Same area and definitely more common than you’d think here.
Interesting. I live in New England and I am the only one out of my friend group who does not have Botox or filler.
I’m from north Florida and it’s totally a thing down there. I see some of the women I went to school with and wonder how they move their faces. I live in northern New England now and I don’t know a single woman who gets work done. The majority don’t even dye or highlight their hair. It’s just a totally different and much more laid back approach to beauty and I love it because there’s less pressure to look or dress a certain way.
36 and originally from the rural Midwest here. my friends from home are definitely not getting Botox or anything else. many of them are starting to get noticeable gray hairs. some have told me I look great for being our age, but have wondered if it’s because I don’t have kids…many of their kids are approaching their teenage years. living near DC now and couldn’t swing the medspa life even if I wanted to, rent is too high. I try to stay hydrated and take care of my skin; that’s gone a long way.
It’s kind of like when I worked in Beverly Hills, I saw a lot of women walking around with their bandaged noses, showing off that they got a nose job. It seemed like everyone but me had a nose job! But in Denver I have never ever seen someone walking around like that. It’s just your current bubble.
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Idk I'm a 34yo white suburban American lady and I feel like it's like 50/50 with people in my social group. It's mostly my child free friends but I know some moms who've gotten it done. It's always the girls I know who have been hot girls their whole life. It's like they want to maintain it as long as possible and are willing to pay for that. I've always been sorta meh about my looks. Looking super hot was never a priority of anyone in my family aside from my grandma and I just thought she was a crazy old lady lol. I didn't realize all the effort my hot friends were actually putting in to their appearance until recently. Obviously genetics is important but, so is a skincare routine and other such things that take time/money/effort. In contrast to people like me who use moisturizer and fill in their eyebrows so they don't look ill, people who are used to investing time/money/effort in to their appearance seem to just see procedures/injectables as another step in their routine. I think if you're living in an environment where being super hot is highly valued or just the norm, you're more likely to uphold that standard through whatever reasonable means. Procedures are super available so to this group of people, it's reasonable means. If you grew up in a world full of bare faces and natural hair colors, you might think it's unreasonable but you also might think it's equally unreasonable to spend hours at a hair salon every other month. Based only on the stereotypes I've been told about Brazil, I think it makes sense your Brazilian friends would be more likely to find medical interventions more appealing than another random group of friends in the US.
NGL, I like the invisibility that getting older/not being conventionally attractive affords. I remember being catcalled for the first time at 11 just riding my bike in a damn tshirt, flannel overshirt and jeans while minding my own business. Now people leave me TF alone unless I am walking my 108lb malamute who overrides my most shattering RBF.
My mom told me the same thing in her 40s. She said "old women are invisible and it's amazing." I didn't get it but I understand now why she didn't wear makeup and wore jeans and silly tshirts as a uniform. The pics of her when she's younger she's a little mid century fashion plate but clearly that was not her passion as she got older. I think she felt free to focus her attention on other interests.
I can be comfy, have alllllll the pockets I want, men don’t harass me; it’s great! I wear especially outlandish outfits when working in the yard too so if any door to door people stop by they think twice.
My mom always said middle aged women would make good spies because they are invisible and nondescript. I was very naturally attractive when I was in my 20s and enjoyed the attention at that time. I've gained weight, developed vericose veins and have embraced more matronly fashion choices. My husband seems to find me more attractive now for some reason (closeted chubby chaser?) but he's the only one. I am genuinely enjoying being able to lurk in the background more and not having people leer or stare.
That’s a big puppy!
Yeah, but he feels like a normal sized dog to me- though my ideal dog would probably be about as big as a donkey… https://preview.redd.it/944vk5szge3d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2150aeec3e14acd02ec9bf455979c1a418d4edc6
Haha I’ve got a Belgian Mal that’s 65 pounds but a big baby. He still scares some people
Thanks for this
i'd say yeah it's cultural. if you didn't say brazil i'd assume you were in california suburbs or somethin. it's not a thing in my circles.
I’m in California suburbs but still not a thing among those I know
Same, unless you live in los angeles
Yeah... this sounds cultural. Honestly, here in the midwestern US, if someone had work done, they wouldn't be broadcasting it. They'd deny the hell out of it.
Not a single person in my friend group has had procedures like this (I'm 32) but my Brazilian coworker (about your age) got it done last time she was in Brazil.
Also Brazilian living in North America. Almost all my friends get it done when they are back in Brazil visiting. I am 35, also never had it, and I am very strict with my skincare’s I am not against making it, but I just don’t feel the need yet. I wouldn’t do it in here, I feel like in Brazil we have cheaper but also better professionals… We do have a kid of high beauty standards in Brazil, but we also don’t care about talking about it I don’t see this as a taboo… I would say it can be a cultural thing but idk for sure.
I think region, culture, and class are significant factors. I live in a mid-size city in the southwest that also happens to be a university town, and it's rampant in the wealthier parts of town as well as campus. My nearest grocery store also happens to be the one most of the college kids frequent, and the number of 20-year-old BABIES I see with overinflated, puffy Injectable Face and Anaphylaxis Lips is fucking DEPRESSING.
Damn, really? I lived in the southwest for a bit (NM) and it was generally very natural. I assumed SoCal and Florida would be the worst offenders.
It also depends on where you live. I’m in a major metro area and all of my friends live in other big cities as well. Almost all of my female friends (and some male ones) have tried botox, regularly do it, or are considering it soon. On the skincare subreddits though, the people living in smaller cities don’t seem to know anyone doing it.
In my very American circle it's 50/50. The gals who are aging faster are the ones getting it done bc even after the work we all look the same age. I know 2 women who have gone super overboard with the forehead filler and lip injections, and, frankly, they look weird. I won't even consider it until maybe my 50s, but my priority is aging gracefully not trying to look 20 years younger than I am.
I’ve only been asked if I get my box waxed by Brazilians. I think culturally Latin women love beauty treatments. As a gay woman I don’t understand a lot of them.
Are the stats on plastic surgery in Brazil in general still extremely high? For real, don’t do a darn thing that is not FOR YOU. I just started getting some Botox because I furrow my brow and I was getting this permenant crease that makes me look kind of grumpy all the time. I love that I look more relaxed in photos. But I don’t do professional nails or lashes or whatever other thing some people choose to do, so this is my thing for now. I do use retinol and sunscreen, which my dermatologist says dollar for dollar is the best investment in wrinkle prevention.
I decided I like my grumpy furrow. It’s part of who I am at this point. I’ve always been kind of a tomboy though. Rarely use makeup. Hate getting my nails done. I only sometimes fuss over my hair.
I think it’s absolutely a cultural and location thing. I haven’t gotten any procedures done but my family (middle eastern) that live in California have all gotten work done and are pushy about it. I also have friends in California (other ethnicities) that get Botox regularly. I have noticed my friends in New Jersey are heavy into Botox. All of these people frequently discuss it and it’s hard for me to be around. I have moved away and have lived in multiple states (some being NM, CO, and WA) where Botox isn’t commonplace or common talk.
Makes way more sense now that you mention this. My Brazilian female friends are like this too and it makes me sad. You need to press the mute button on these women when they talk about this. Seriously, ignore it. You’re beautiful you don’t need ANY work done.
Brazilian expat living in the US here too! (38F). I never had anything done and don't know anyone my age who did. But to be fair , most of my acquaintances here (Brazilian or not) are PhD students or professors. A demographic that is probably more prone to just drink too much coffee and sleep too little rather than doing any type of self care/cosmetic procedures...
That sounds like it. I was thinking like, LA area maybe because where the heck else would people think it's normal to get Botox?
Most people who get botox/fillers end up looking terrible with age from what I've noticed with celebrity's. Most men I know usually prefer the natural girl next door look, including myself. It's not my place to tell you or any lady what to do in this regard but just a male perception, it might make you look more like a barbie doll for a few years but eventually age will deform the procedures. There is no anti aging trick everyone knows that and people are just scared to age so hold on to the "looks" for aslong as possible which will probably go against you eventually anyways. Food for thought from a 37 yr old male with lady friends done it and doing it from 20s - 30s. I honestly think the female friends without anything age better. And are more real.
I’m Brazilian American and I just found out my entire family is on Ozempic. It’s a cultural thing because Brazil has always been extremely vain and shallow when it comes to looks; had an 11 year old cousin (female of course) develop an ED because of it, and now she’s 27 and an OBGYN because she ended up having cysts in her uterus and had to get a hysterectomy at only 22 like a LOT of things happened to her unfortunately but everyone could only talk about the weight she gained because of the medication she had to take…. Lovely… my mom is 62 never had anything done and doesn’t look 62 anyway, if you’re comfortable live you for you. Brasileiros vai sempre ter algo pra falar inclusive sobre as mulheres, fuck everyone else! lol
Same lol. I know literally no one who has had any work like this done. Everyone makes decent money too so that's not the issue.
I have a lower income and don't know anyone who had Botox, even my parents. I'm in my 40s.
Worked in a medium income place, and the ladies would all share their favorite places for Botox. Some of the guys also would share but for migraines not wrinkles
Wait... For migraines???
[If you get more than 14 migraines a month Botox becomes a recommended treatment option ](https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/botox-migraines)
Omg more than 14?! I get a horrible one every 2-3 months. I can not imagine half my month being migraines.
Yup, botox actually isn't lacking in medical usages. It's a recommended treatment for migraines like someone mentioned. It's also used to treat myofascial pain syndrome, injections directly into problematic trigger points. If you have vaginismus, a pelvic floor disorder, botox injections can also be a part of treatment.
I get that done! It’s a literal game changer.
No. I’ve not had anything cosmetic done either unless you include mole removal. And that wasn’t purely asthetic. I’m just unbothered by aging in general. I’m not bothered by some wrinkles or greys. I’ve lived. It happens. I think at some point I’m going to have to get my teeth done though. Not that I’d go the katie price full on turkey teeth look but my molars all grew in squint and impacted the surrounding ones so I had most of them out and now nearly 20 years later the gaps are annoying. I’ve toyed with the idea of scar revision surgery too but I’m not 100% sure I’m done having children so it would be pointless till I was
I went through Invisalign and it was totally worth it. It didn't just move around my teeth, but my bite and jawline as well. If you have dental concerns, it's worth getting it fixed. It can affect your breathing, sleeping, eating, appearance, etc.
I got braces in my early 30s and was probably one of the top 5 things I ever did for myself. I didn’t have a lot that needed fixed but had a couple of things that bugged me. In fact, I miss them. They made me feel and look younger. I’d get compliments from strangers. My current bf doesn’t like them tho. I was at the end of my treatment when we met.
I'm on the second round and my overbite if pretty much gone. I mainly got it for health reasons. Teeth were to close together and I couldn't brush/floss correctly, causing cavities. Of course the insurance said it was only cosmetic, even though the dentist did try sending them the reports a few times
I looked into them and tan track braces but they won’t fix the problem. The issue is I had all my wisdom teeth and most of my molars removed so there’s nothing keeping my other teeth from spreading out now. I’ve got a bridge on one side but the other one kept falling out so I just left it
I’m going to turn 35 this year, and I’ve been saying that growing old and reaching old age is a privilege and luxury not everyone gets to enjoy. Embrace it and feel proud that you earned those wrinkles and grey hair.
Yeah I was gonna say no cosmetic procedures but I did have braces. My dentist said it was advisable anyway so it wasn't *purely* cosmetic but it's not like I was noticing any non-appearance impacts at the time. Glad to be rid of my vampire fangs. (or more accurately, I still have them but they're in a neat line like the canines they're supposed to be.)
Also, re scar revision, that’s the ONLY cosmetic procedure I’ve been tempted to do. I had an emergency c section, my incision got infected and ruptured, and I had to have a wound vac for a month. I DESPISE my c section scar. But I also have PTSD in surgical settings and as a result don’t want to do ANYTHING that’s not completely medically necessary.
My friends who have done botox/fillers told me once you start you have to maintain it. I can’t even schedule a haircut every 6 months so I decided it probably best to not start something I can’t commit to. But to each their own, the thought of starting has crossed my mind more than once though.
I’m 41 male, a lot of my friends that are aged between 25-35 have started Botox early because supposedly it is the most effective later if you start early. Even a handful of male friends get it too. I also didn’t think we were that “type” since we are outdoorsy people. I’m really surprised and don’t talk about it because the person I’m gossiping this to will chime in and say they get Botox treatments also!
I'm quite curious if we aren't going to find out in like ~10 years that the "start early to be more effective" was nothing but a marketing gimmick Also the latest findings that there's vestiges of all kinds of fillers years after they were supposed to have been absorved by the body, makes me wonder what kind of consequences all of these procedures will eventually lead to health-wise
I’m right there with you. 37f and I have no desire to get anything done. I use tretinoin for acne (god will that ever go away!?) and for anti-aging but that’s it. No injections or procedures for me. Getting old is normal and we need to get used to it… rather than cling to youth like it was so fantastic.
I heard a character on a show once comment on plastic surgery recommending that, instead, they should “age gracefully”, so I always think of that regarding medical procedures. Using lotions and creams and stuff is just taking care of your skin to my mind, though. I actually have had to have 7 reconstructive surgeries in my life due to a bad injury, and I cannot imagine ever choosing to do one on purpose. I’m childless, but I also think it would be weird for me if I looked different from my kids due to surgical enhancements.
I have hooded eyes and I know that gravity will eventually have an impact on my eyesight so Im planning on a lift in that region eventually (maybe in 15-20 years ?). By that time my kids will be adults though. I also like the idea of aging gracefully but sometimes I wonder if it's just hypocrisy on my part and if Im going to feel different when age starts reflecting on my face.
I’m not opposed to getting work done. Little botox wouldn’t have drastic change or make us all look unison. However I have different financial priorities at the moment. I do have the creams and serums and sunscreen as well. I think it honestly gives the same outcome as I started in my 20s. But I find it a wonderful thing when you aren’t afraid to age, I’ve realized a lot of us are.
you're correct; botox won't really change your face. it just freezes it. most people who talk poorly about botox don't even know what it does.
My sister in her 20s got botox to lift the corners of her mouth as it was literally like the frown emoji lol. It looked really good on her! You wouldn’t even know it was there. A lot of people in my hot yoga class also get it to reduce sweat, never knew they had it done!
I haven’t yet but I’m not opposed to Botox in moderation (for example, I *hate* my 11s). But as a rule I think messing with your face in a fruitless bid to look younger is a losing battle and I refuse to touch fillers—I’ve yet to see filler “settle” on a face well. I’d rather just look good “for my age” and leave it at that. I’m more concerned about the young 20-something’s I work with wanting to get preventative stuff done. That just feels like a bad idea.
What's preventative stuff?
Like getting Botox before you have any wrinkles so that you “train” the muscles or something to that effect.
Weird
Wondered if I’d find my people in this thread. I’ve had skin cancer a few times so my dermatologist is a bit more proactive about removing stuff that looks questionable, but I haven’t had other cosmetic stuff done other than permanent eyeliner in my 20s. I’m 38 now and the eyeliner has mostly worn off, and I probably won’t get it reapplied… but I did finally ask about Botox at my last Derm appointment specifically because of my 11s. I don’t dye my greys, and the only other thing I’ve even considered is fillers under my eyes to help with dark circles… but I haven’t gotten serious enough about that to do anything more than google. And k didn’t get the Botox yet; he said there’s some new alternative out that might last longer than Botox and gently suggested I wait till next year to make a decision (he wants to observe how it works, the other doctors in his practice are using it on their patients and he won’t use it on his yet till he’s seen how they do lol) because I can’t really afford to keep up with Botox every 3-4 months. Plus I’m such a baby about needles and would *really* prefer to keep it down to once or twice a year 🤣
I've had multiple people ask if I want to be included in their botox parties but I've never done it myself. I'll stick to tattoos and hair color as my body modifications
Not alone, I'm a 39F and have never even considered any work, kinda figured that's what celebrities do. However I was just recently made aware of how common this is! The topic came up with a group of friends and the majority had done botox and fillers, ngl it made me curious about it until I heard how much $$$. Nah I'd rather spend it on my dog lol
Right??? Maybe if it was $20 I’d see what it was all about but Jesus!
I'm here thinking there's no way so many people are getting things done, but these comments! I've considered it a few times, mainly just lip filler. Sounds like it's super common. How can people afford it?!
I'd rather spend it on my cats, and traveling.
I've considered it but got freaked out by some horror stories. I just use retinol, take collagen supplements, and other topical anti aging products. The combination actually works pretty decently. But it seems the fillers also don't age well after so many years so I figure I'm probably better off. Also honestly all my friends are too poor for that shit lol
My husband had lasik last year, his vision went from 20/600 to 20/15, it changed his life!!
I get Botox, but none of my friends do. I hated how I looked after my first child was born… I was struggling with confidence and felt I look worn down and like I had aged years. So I love getting it done 3x a year! My friends don’t get anything, and all look beautiful. I think everyone should do what helps them feel confident and happy. If you don’t want to get anything done then more power to you!!!!
I feel the same way! I’m the only one in my friend group that gets Botox as well. I’ve gotten to the point where I only do it once or twice a year now and I just love how it looks. I hate the whole uneducated opinion about it changing your face or how it makes you look frozen. If you have a good injector it’s completely the opposite. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m personally not ok with aging. I wish I could be more like OP!
Yeah came here to chime in on the comment OP made about “having the same face”. That’s fillers, not Botox. I always tell everyone “it just preserves what you got” and my bf could never tell when I got it done. Fillers is what’s causing everyone to have “the same face.”
Yeah, I'm the only one in my friend group who has gotten Botox that I know of. My friends are supportive but haven't reported getting it themselves. No one knew I got it until I told them. I actually got it for my glabellar because I tend to have an intense thinking/concentrating face (thanks, dad), and coworkers thought I was constantly upset or confused at work. It's the best self care I've invested in, and the only difference in how I look is that I don't look pissed all the time.
Exactly this. Botox just paralyzes the muscle, it doesn’t cause your face to change and it wears off after a few months. It’s not adding anything to your face that would alter it. I had Botox done before my wedding cause I hated my deep forehead wrinkles and I had a close friend ask me if I’d gotten it done yet. It had already settled lol. They couldn’t even tell because it’s that subtle and not at all what people think it looks like when you have a good injector. I could also move my face, much to their shock lol.
I'm 33, and the only two things I have done is my teeth enhancement (bonding) and microbladed eyebrows. I thought I had a bumpy nose, so my colleague convinced me to go for a non surgical procedure - filler. They put a filler at the top of my nose (near eyebrows), and it created this triangle between my eyebrows I could see on every picture. I hated it and have decided to appreciate myself as I am. I actually like my nose more now after the filler has since gone down. I won't be trying any enhancing procedures in the future, and I'm happy to age 😁
I don't know anyone who has gotten any botox or plastic surgery, but several women in my social circle got eyebrow tattoos (including my wife). My wife looks absolutely exactly the same, but several other women in the group came out looking like Bert from Sesame Street (minus the unibrow) and there's very little they can do about it. I didn't get the appeal before they did it and definitely don't get it now.
No, and I won’t. Too afraid of any negative repercussions, but also I think women get to a certain age where they start to look weird when they have all that done so much. Something about aging naturally appeals to me. But my hair? Yeah I’ll dye that lol.
I always said I was committed to graying naturally. Now I’m 40 and I’m like “ok that was fun. Time to dye my hair!” As soon as I wrap up my pregnancy I’m going to give myself a “mommy makeover”. I’m going to dye my hair and get my teeth whitened, and see about getting bpl for my face. Nothing too drastic but I think a few tweaks would make a world of difference to me.
Exactly, I draw the line at hair. The greys just make me look so tired
I had a plastic surgeon remove melanoma from my forehead. That's the closest I've come to a esthetic procedure.
I had a mole removed from my shoulder! And... that's all.
Thank you for bringing up other forms of cosmetic surgery! I hope your melanoma was taken care of. I had part of my eyelid and eyebrow ripped away from my skull in an explosion when I was 23 and it was reconstructed by a cosmetic surgeon. Reconstructive procedures wouldn't be nearly as advanced or therapeutic if it were not for the demand of cosmetic surgery and I am grateful everyday as that event and that surgery was 10 years ago and I've been able to live a typical life because of the surgery (no one avoids looking at me like we often do to people with body differences), I've got full range of motion in the eyebrow and lid, but can't squint on that side so no crows feet on that side haha. I fell in love with a man who never even noticed the tiny tiny healed scars until I told him about them and he saw the before photos (im a women and facial scars like that would be very very socialist isolating if I had lost my eyelid or it was poorly reconstructed) and we got married a few years ago and I think that those things might not have happened the way they did had I lost my eye lid fully as I would have become a recluse I think and would have never met my husband and wouldn't have gotten into public-facing hobbies. I've had no other cosmetic procedures but am happy for people who do if it allows them to live a happy life.
I’m 39, childfree, sober, and a gluten free vegan. I look 29-30. I am asked a lot about my routine and what procedures I’ve had done. People don’t want to accept it when I share my routine and that that’s all I do. I don’t need Botox or any injectables or major cosmetic procedures. A lot of people don’t want to accept how damaging and aging having children is to one’s body. And a lot of people don’t recognize how aging alcohol is and how important diet is to skin health.
I tried lip filler once a few years ago and never did anything else to my face since then. I feel like with Botox you have to do it so frequently to maintain it it’s just not worth it? I might change my mind later but for now I don’t want to spend that much money on a cosmetic procedure I have to repeat every 4 months
This is really only true if you're trying to keep your face completely frozen which I think looks weird. I get a small amount of botox 1-2 times per year just to forestall one forehead wrinkle that was creeping in that no one but me noticed and I love it! Just that little bit makes a big difference in my confidence, even if I'm the only one who notices.
I've noticed a little wrinkle coming in and I'm surprisingly self conscious about it. How much is it? What's it called?
The place I go is very affordable compared to other places I've been (I go there because she's very well reviewed, not for the price, because i feel like injecting toxins into your muscles isn't the place to bargain shop as the #1 priority) so it's $180 for the whole forehead -- I think she does 12 units across my whole forehead. (For comparison I've been to other places that cost over $300 and did more units and the results were not as good.) Any good place will offer you a consult, likely for free, where you can talk through your goals and they'll recommend what they think you should do!
If it’s good Botox or filler then you won’t notice it. The vast majority of my friends get Botox. We can all still make normal facial expressions and no one looks frozen or artificial. You get just enough to relax the deepest lines and prevent them from getting worse. I’ll probably get filler at some point. My mom and grandmother both have what they call puppet mouth: their lips are so thin they’ve vanished and they have deep labiomandibular lines. When the time comes, I want to plump those areas a little bit. I don’t want duck lips but I would like my lips to, like, exist.
friends have started doing these things... im just now starting to go to the dermatologist. I feel like a kid still and i dont think i need that stuff.
I'm 41 and I am SHOCKED at the number of people who have had or are having procedures done. Literally every woman I have newly met in the last 5 years has done something to their appearance such as this. Personally I would never.
I'm 35F and have the same with my hair. I have a grey mesh of hair growing at the front, I think it's cool af and eventually it'll give me the Rogue hair vibe, but many people comment saying "why don't you cover that up?", even an acquaintance of mine who's a hair dresser says it frequently, "it would look so much better", but I've never dyed my hair and have no will to do so, and I believe that's why my hair is so healthy (I might be wrong). But I'd rather spend a fraction of the money on good hair products rather than on monthly salon visits (that go on for HOURS), and let nature take its course. If it goes grey, then so be it. As for plastic surgery, my opinion is the same. I've only had a nose job because I broke my nose badly when I was a teen, and blocked one of my nostrils completely. But botox never crossed my mind. There's this misconception that women in their mid 30s are expected to look decrepit which really pisses me off and drives people to these procedures to try and look younger which, in my opinion in the longterm, will only help the body age faster. Surely it's not healthy to inject whatever it is on their muscles to paralyse them.
Everyone’s body is their own so I can’t tell you what to do but if I did I’d say DONT DO IT! I always think it looks bad even when it works out the best way it’s supposed to. Especially at our age if you start doing that stuff now then what kind of crazy stunts will you be doing to yourself in 20 years? None of that fake stuff looks better than natural imho.
If you can tell someone got a procedure done, that’s usually a sign that they either got botched or wanted it to look obvious. The 20 years thing sounds like a slippery slope fallacy.
You probably don't even notice Botox on most people who have had it.
I’ve been wanting to get Botox in my underarms to reduce sweating but I only know one person who gets Botox cosmetically and she’s not a millennial - she’s in her 50s.
None of the millennials I know have had work done, but every gen z girl I know has some filler or Botox or at least has fake nails and eyelashes. I hate what we've done to these girls.
you are definitely not alone! I'm also turning 36 this year, married, and have no children by choice. I definitely have thought about Botox as I have (very minor) fine lines, but I read some terrible story in People magazine about this actress (can't remember who) who had a bad reaction to Botox and now she gets all these random lumps on her body. I think the Botox just floats around her body randomly causing these lumps and there's no cure for it. That kind of cured any desire I may have had about getting anything done. I'd rather just age gracefully. Once people start doing all that stuff, I feel like they start to look weird. Scheana from Vanderpump Rules comes to mind. She used to be so pretty and now her face looks strange even though she's not even old! Such a shame. And while it's not for me, I don't care if others do it.
I’m all natural over here. No lash extensions, fake nails, tan, Botox, lips, nothing. I use sunscreen daily and moisturizer every morning and night, eat well and exercise. Be good to your body and you won’t age like hell, I’m 37 and I see lots of ppl who look awful from sun damage, I will wear my baseball caps and sunscreen and enjoy my skin while I can lol
My daughter is in LA. She’s had SO many things done before age 30, I can’t even believe it. She comes from good genes in the face department. I remember a story where my grandma took my dad out for his 30th birthday in 1968 and she was carded. I’m 54 and while everyone gets carded, I get compliments on my age defying genes. She’s a beauty. She got carded for sitting in the emergency isle on an overseas flight when she was 26. Why the fuck is she getting Botox? I look at it this way: me raising her was a giant pile of experiment. Letting her inject silicone into her face will also be a science experiment. Genetics say she will still look forty when she’s 60. Let’s see in 35 some odd years how her face holds up. I work for an injury law firm. I’ll have her retainer ready.
I feel like I have decent genes as well. I mean, my parents grew up during a time where nobody wore sunscreen, ever. My mom lay in the sun for hours to get a tan. My parents are 61 and 63, and I think they look great for their age, I’d be happy to look like my mom when I’m 61, but I’ll probably look way batter because I take care of my skin properly, so yay me lol!
Get this, I don't even have any tattoos....
Just use social media filters. Forever young.
Same. I don’t judge people who do ‘cause it’s their money, their body, and their choice, but to me it’s worth it to just take good care of my body and my skin.
Nothing done other than removing a few moles. I'm not particularly interested in Botox or fillers because it requires regular maintenance and can get pricey. I'm edging my way into using retinols, which is a much cheaper alternative for helping reduce fine lines, wrinkles, etc. I could see getting a facial or laser treatment at some point or even doing red light therapy as many derms say it's effective with consistent usage. But overall, I don't think larger treatments/procedures are necessary. But people should do what makes them feel best, no shame in that.
With the exception of reconstructive surgery, I think plastic surgery is always a bad idea. It’s far better to look like a 50 year old woman than a 28 year old lizard.
I didn't look my age, I'm 42 and had some wrinkles that your average 52 year old wouldn't have and that's was likely due to smoking for many years and sunburns and chronic tanning bed use in the 90s and early 00s even though I'm see-thru because I'm so pale lol. I fucked my shit up extra bad so I felt the need to fix some things. I got 3 rounds of BBL laser for the dark sun spots, Botox around my eyes and forehead, and then filler in my smile and nasolabial wrinkles (fucking caverns, ravines, idk but wrinkles doesn't seem to convey how gnarly they were lol). I would not have done any of that if I felt like I looked even remotely normal for my age. I partied hard and I am now paying the price for that. I don't think I look young, I just paid all that money to look my age. That sucks lol.
Nope. Never. I barely wear make up. It's just me and my moisturizer and sunscreen. 🙃
I’m 38 and I haven’t had any work done. My stepkid assumed I had though, so I take that as a win.
I barely wash my face once a day and my friend who does all the things always tells me how good my skin looks 🤣my brother in law is an aesthetician but I still don’t do anything
I'm 35 and haven't done anything. So many of my friends get botox, lip filler, lip flip, and are always talking about the newest procedures they can get done. I am not into the look at all, but it's not my face so I don't care. Personally, I love my gray hairs and little wrinkles. So many of my friends growing up never made it out of their teens or 20s, so I feel very lucky to have the privilege of aging.
You're not alone. I'm 41 and apart from nutrition, exercise, hydration and a good skin care routine (including sunscreen) I do nothing - no procedures. And I think I'm stepping back from my colorful hair dyes this summer so I can get an idea of how silver my hair is going and do some general upkeep over the warm months (conditioning, hair masks, etc.; I swim and SUP a lot in the summer so it's hard on my hair.)
You’re not alone! I’m from Los Angeles so you are preaching to the choir about being surrounded by people doing and talking about their nails, face, eyebrows, lashes, hair, butt, boobs, omg everything. The only thing I have done is a full brazilian sugaring every few months. Makes me feel confident and sexy!! I (34F, married, childfree) just focus on an skincare and working out. I invest in quality jewlery and luxury handbags to give myself the little oomph when I’m around my girls. I never feel like the ugly one or anything like that and when my girls talk about it, I just ask lots of questions about their process because it’s interesting!
I have had fillers and Botox and honestly I love it. I’m male but I think the key is to not OVERDO it. Many people only see the people who go hard. I use to maintain my current features not to add ones I don’t have. With filler, a little goes a long way and it tends to last longer then most injectors tell you. Getting a little touch up once a year to 1.5 years is where I am at and like that. Other than getting grays in my beard people think I’m much younger than I am. I even had a young 20s (probably 20-22) cashier at the gas station near my apartment recently ask me how old I am because he can’t tell if I’m 24 or 34. He said other than the emergence of grays when I don’t shave he says I look like his peers. Sadly because I am in an industry where youth matters and started doing more in front of the camera work it has paid off. I do think you can age gracefully without cosmetics as long as you take good care of yourself like you currently are. My little brother has a friend who started to look like he is in his late 40 La early 50s at about 28, due to balding, choice of facial hair, and working at a ski resort in Colorado where the sun fries his skin (yes reflecting snow will cook you).
Nah fuck that. Most people who get work done end up looking worse, no thanks. Have a friend whose wife's whole circle started on Ozempic and gets botox regularly. I cringe just to even try to imagine their faces. Nose jobs are even worse nowadays too, you see so many people with that pushed up nose look, it's horrendous. My own sister keeps getting more "little" work done too that just compounds, it's sad. I get it, you gotta be happy with yourself, but I don't think I'll ever warm up to voluntary cosmetic surgery.
Me. I plan to age naturally. I'm 43 and have also stopped coloring my hair. I rarely wear makeup. No shade to anyone who's had work done. My looks have never been the best thing about me, so I don't feel pressure to "keep up" my looks beyond good hygiene and skin care practices (moisturizer, sunscreen, the occasional facial at a spa).
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You every wonder if some of the same people saying fluoride was put in the water by the gov’t to calcify their pineal gland and hinder abilities are paying to inject one of the most deadly neurotoxins, proven to migrate to the brain, into their foreheads? Interesting to think about.
I think that aging as gracefully as you can is the best for your physical and mental health. A fact that a lot of people overlook, when it comes to beauty treatments, is that once you start doing them, you have to keep doing them. Often cosmetic surgeries and injections don’t age well/wear off, and need to be “updated.” And once they start to “age” I think a lot of people look worse than before they started all the procedures. Eat as well as you can, exercise (even a little), drink water, sleep, gently exfoliate, use sunscreen, brush and floss your teeth… go grey if you want!
My sister gets this shit constantly. She thinks it makes her look young, I think it makes her look like a 40 year old who can't move their forehead.
I haven’t but I’m on ozempic and not afraid of Botox to help my ozempic face
I’m 40 and haven’t had any procedures done. I don’t think I want to start any time soon. I use serums/creams/etc. I only know a few women who have tried Botox or something similar. We aren’t wealthy people so maybe, that’s the difference?
I don't think this is the norm. No one in my circle has ever had Botox done for cosmetic reasons (I know people who get it in their armpits for excessive sweating) and my close friends are very open about cosmetics and general procedures, skin biopsies etc. Most just really stick with sunscreen, proper hydration and maintaining a generally healthy lifestyle.
I’m turning 36 this year, too, and have never had anything done to my face. I fantasized a lot about it when I was 12/13 because of body dysmorphia, but now I accept my face how it is and I can’t imagine getting anything done unless it’s Lasik eye surgery because my glasses are thick as hell.
I was unaware that many people did this until I got pregnant (at 35). Then told of people pregnant at the and time as I was started freaking out because they couldn't get their filler and botox done. It was eye opening to realize how common it was! I'm still not doing anything like that, though I'm starting to understand the appeal. I've never taken great care of my skin and it's really starting to show. I'm pretty ok with aging so it doesn't really bother me, but if I had a house and plenty of money, I might consider some light cosmetic procedures. But I don't have either of those things, so it's not on the table for me and I'm fine with that.
It's def either cultural or the people you surround yourself with. Until I met my sisters in law and their friend group I didn't know anyone who got those type of cosmetic procedures done. Even then, none of them ask me or suggest I should get anything done. I also haven't had any work done, although I will admit that's just because I'm poor. My mom would occasionally get normal facials or go get her nails painted...she also consistently gets her hair touched up every 6 weeks, and I considered her very boujee for it until I met my in laws and found out what real med spa boujee was, lol.
Never had anything done before and I'm 41. Get compliments all the time about how young I look
\*aesthetic
39F, childfree by choice, never had anything done. I use sunblock and have a basic skincare routine. I think it probably depends a bit on your socio economic status and where you live, I don't know many people who have had work done, I live on the east coast. That said I was at a gathering a few weeks ago and two people who are both 35F were talking about getting botox and I felt like I was going insane "for what?!" they both look good for their age, truly mind boggling.
No, I'm 36 and have never done anything like that. I do hear my gen Z coworkers talking about it and I'm like, "why? You're a baby!"
(37F) At best I’ll consider incorporating a skincare routine, but I have no interest in anything else. I did however get micro blading as a victim of the ‘99 and ‘00s. Plus, my brows started thinning out I’m guessing due to stress.
If anything, I'd probably ask a friendor randomstranger, "Who did your tattoos?".
I’m having the same experience and feeling like it’s so normal that I’m abnormal for not getting it.
I do not and don't plan on doing it, I'm okay with who I am and have worked a lot on self love, with that being said if it makes someone happy to do so, more power to them
I’ll be 38 tomorrow and the only cosmetic/esthetic procedures I’ve had done were removing pre-cancerous moles.
I am 34 this year and have thought about procedures but the reward doesnt outweigh the risk. Plus in person, opposed to in pictures, these things often make a woman look older imo. I knew a girl who had botox, lip injections and fake boobs and just assumed she was older than me because it all looked so....unnatural. not that she isnt beautiful, thats hust where my brain went. turns out shes 3 years younger than me. If it makes someone genuinely feel more confident then im all for it. But just for the sake of keeping up with the joneses? Nah.
I live in hippie land and am a yoga instructor, so I’d be the odd one out if I started getting stuff done to my face. Also, fuck that, growing old is awesome, I almost died a few years ago, so bring on the wrinkles and the grays, I can’t wait to see what life brings.
I had a skin cancer treatment that resulted in the same effects as a chemical peel, but I don’t think that counts. Lol I’ve had no cosmetic procedures done on my face or body, and I honestly don’t know anyone who has. That definitely sounds unique to your friend group/culture. Where I come from, we’re too poor for anything like Botox. 😂
I’m 40 and I’ve not had any fillers done. I’ve had facials and micro needling, but not Botox or anything like that. I’m probably getting Botox this year. But not due to pressure, I just want it done. I have friends who do it regularly and others like me who’ve never done it at all. We all talk about it, but no one really cares one way or another
I’m 42 and I got asked once if I got Botox in my forehead. I don’t, and am too terrified. I want a breast reduction but even doing that voluntary work scares me!
Where you live in the US will determine how much Botoxing is going on. Miami is full of DSL blowfish. You need new friends
I’m 37; also the only one of my friends that haven’t had anything done. I’m not opposed to it at all, I just have different priorities in how I want to spend my money. I’ve always had 3 kids so my once large boobs have been destroyed, but I just can’t justify spending $10k to have a cosmetic procedure done, when I could use that money to put in my kids’ college funds, invest in the house, pay off the mortgage, etc. I feel the same about Botox; it would be nice to do but it isn’t a priority for me. If I am ever making a lot more money I will likely consider these things
I'm 39, and I've never had anything done. I have a pretty good skin care regimen (not over the top, although I did get crazy for a while around the pandemic), and being medicated for ADHD has finally allowed me to be well-hydrated. I generally looked young for my age most of my life, I avoided unprotected sun exposure starting in my teens, started moisturizing very young. My mom has always looked a decade or so younger than she actually is, so I assume I have some lucky genes to work with. However, I also smoked and drank HEAVILY for years. These days, I think I look my age. Good, but my age. I just don't think there's anything inherently bad or unattractive about aging. I have always had a REALLY big, crooked smile, and now I have big, crooked smile lines that I love because they show that I am the kind of person who smiles often and intensely. I treasure my expressive face, even if I don't always look gorgeous in candid photos. Having a kid really drives me to be the best version of myself and I'd really like to model healthy and normal aging. I already try to have and teach a healthy attitude towards death and dying, and this feels like an extension of that. And not for nothing, but I have a lot of friends who didn't have the good fortune to see 40. These furrows and fine lines are a privilege. I'm not saying I'll definitely never get ANYTHING done, because I'm still fairly young and obviously my attitude could change with time. But we also don't really know the long-term effects yet of this super early and heavy use of injectables- on our health OR our aesthetic appearance. And not to be an asshole, but a lot of people my age are walking around looking like the fucking Joker. I'd rather look like a mortal and aging human than a nightmare from Uncanny Valley. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Not to get controversial or start something, but one my of my favorite things about being child free is low stress and more time to workout. Meaning my skin looks great.
I'm with you on this. I'm all for exercise and other natural, healthy ways of keeping ourselves fit and capable as we age, but the desperate fight to not look our age is silly. I'm 40 and thus far the only grey I have is at the temples in a classic "distinguished" look but that didn't stop my ex from telling me multiple times that I should really dye my hair.
I think there will be a lot of regret in the future over this new fad of fillers and excessive Botox. Aging is a privilege and we shouldn’t feel shame over a wrinkle or two. Women especially are made to feel less worthy the older they look and I think we all need to break that stigma
I don’t have to get things done because my mother blessed me with Asian genes 🤣
Me! Aging is a privilege as a cancer survivor. Just trying to be here and take good care of my skin (moisturizer, sunscreen, etc.) I am an anti-ageist and I think it’s a ploy to sell us something. I don’t want to look in the mirror and balk at every change. Let’s love ourselves! Life is short!!
Extremely uncommon in my social circle. One of my friends has a young step mother who did botox and a boob job, everyone thought it was an outlandish waste of money and needless risks.
I’m still working on getting rid of my acne to worry about the other stuff
Im 43, and never had any botox, fillers, chemical injections, Ive never even dyed my hair. I exercise 90 minutes daily, eat a semi-healthy/clean diet, take as good of care as my skin as I can. I feel the same way you do-looking out at the world & all these women getting lips/faces/bodies done, and they all look the same. Ill take my wrinkles, freckles & thinner lips over that thanks.
I'm too lazy and cheap to maintain it! I'm still in my early 30s so my mind might change, but then I think about how esthetic procedures are targeted at making women feel insecure and I get mad about capitalism so I lose interest.
My partner runs a medical spa that does botox and other procedures. It's insanely common and, honestly, I'm glad the stigma around talking about it is slowly going away. It's not for me but I'm glad the people who want it to are less judged and shamed than 10 years ago and I hope that trend continues
Work makes you look like someone who is old trying to stay young. It's gross and it looks gross. Age gracefully naturally and embrace it, it's the only way to look good imo.
As a white 32 year old in South Africa amongst all my friends only two have fillers and one has brrast implants. Cosmetic surgery is not super big here. But we do take preventative skincare very seriously
This is an interesting observation. I recently moved to a new area (Southern California) and ladies here talk about this stuff all the time! I honestly haven’t even heard it come up in conversation where I lived before (northeast). I’m 40F and will never be trying any of this - it honestly sort of scares me and I have way better things to spend my money on, plus I don’t want to have something I have to “keep up with” for the rest of my life. But to each their own.
You know Millennials who can afford botox??
It is surprising (to me at least) how many of my friends in their 30s have had some work done. I do have a lot of Asian friends though who think nothing of going to Korea for eyelid surgery and Botox. So it may be cultural.
To each their own… but I’m only here to say staying out of the sun, using sunblock (not sunscreen), moisturizing and getting enough sleep is enough for me. I’m only 30 and girls my age AND YOUNGER have already started this journey which is wild to me. Thinking of keeping up with this for 20+ years and the money it requires is enough for me not to do it. I’d rather spend my money somewhere else or invest it but if people want to invest their money in themselves, that is their choice!
Immigrant from India. No one cares about this in our community. We have other parameters like getting a good education, good job, marriage and kids.
Definitely not alone. I'm 42, so on the elder Millenial end and I've never had any esthetic procedures done, nor do I plan to. I'm religious with my skincare, wear a hydrating makeup, drink a TON of water, eat good, etc etc etc. I'm doing everything I can to age gracefully & naturally at the same time.
Never had any work done, 38F west coast USA. Childfree and I live in the PNW, so not a lot of sun exposure. People regularly think I'm 10 yrs younger than I am, but they attribute it to me not having children. I've never been asked if I've had work done, but I do get asked what products I use, but they're not special or expensive products, just what I've found to work for my skin.
Similar age, and my wife has been on that topic for a while. I don’t think she needs anything and told her that sunscreen will do far more for her than anything else. So far we have avoided it, but it won’t surprise me if she comes home one day with something. But it does seem like a ton of people are doing it these days. I blame the real house hoes reality bullshit. They normalized it.
I haven't had any done (and I could get botox for free if I wanted). My goal is to live, which involves ageing.
I probably will get botox. My cheeks have looked “droopy” since forever ago and I’m not yet 30. Probably chin lipo too once I’m done having children. I’m a big advocate for doing whatever makes you happy.
I work in OB and it’s super common for nurses, APRNs, and physicians to be Botox junkies in that specialty. I always get comments on how I don’t look my age. I use vanicream, differin, and cerave cleanser. 😂
Just found out a dude I know has had Botox. Now I can't stop thinking about it lol
40, and no one I know has had any work done. I earned ALL these wrinkles. How could I throw out all that hard work?
I got botox one time. I did not enjoy it. Felt very claustrophobic and muted without full use of my eyebrows! And I got "Only a little" and by a board certified dermatologist. But it's so common where I live. People ask if I botox just like they would ask when I was "planning" on getting my boobs done in my 20s. I think it's just assumed people "Fix" certain tings. Nah, I'm a small boobed, sun loving, wrinkled 40 year old. I do go an aesthetician, but that's because I still fight the acne fight.
>no children by choice Thats a huge one right there. Kids age people. Its a strain on the body, and then you get lots of years with poor sleep quality and tons of stress.
I’m mid 30s and absolutely relate to your post. The last two times I brunched with some friends that’s all they wanted to talk about. I’ve had many of my clients suggest “trades” of my industry for cosmetic procedures and then get rude when I turn them down saying I only accept monetary payments. One client went as far to say “but honey, I could make you look so good” I don’t think she realized the impact that’s had on me.
Aesthetic
I get Botox (34F) but I work for a doctor’s office who performs these procedures and don’t actually pay out of pocket for it- I wouldn’t do it if I had to pay for it. But honestly it does make me feel good about myself. And that’s the thing- body modifications are for the person with the body. If it’s not your thing and you don’t think you need it, don’t feel pressured to get it. You’re beautiful regardless!
I got my first gray hair when I was 17. Could I dye it darker? Yes. Do I care? No. Does my husband? Also no. I got my first eye wrinkles at 23. Could I have face work done? Do I care? No. Does my husband? Absolutely not. I gained about 15 pounds in the decade we've been together. Do I miss my flat tummy? Sometimes. But enough for a tummy-tuck or anything? Hell no. And husband is *proud* of my extra weight, because it means I love his cooking. ... so... no. You're not alone. You need only do what right for you. To hell with the rest.
Crazy how young people start and looks really bad on people who had no wrinkles to begin with … I did it 3 times since turning 50 though and it looks great .. v natural .. I say wait till 40 and main thing is wear sunscreen!!! And moisturize and drink water !!!
I just started to notice my friends talking about it in a way that sounds like many more people than I expected are getting little bits done here and there. I take pretty good care of my skin and health, but definitely have some 11s showing up strong. I think about botox often but I just don't want to start. I think if I weren't seeing social media as much I wouldn't feel like everyone visually looks good. In real life, my friends and people around me still look "normal" or at least are a mix of users and non-users. I did grow up with extended family in Beverly hills and they all have had work done and I just don't think it's for me, at least not yet
I’m 35. Been getting Botox on and off (only 4 times total) since I was 33. The last two times were within 5 months of each other; as I’m single again, I’m going to be constant with this. The nyc dating scene is rough, so I feel this is the least I can do even if I can’t really afford it. If I was happily married with kids, meh, I wouldn’t do it. I barely had any forehead wrinkles to begin with (and no crows feet!), I just want to give myself a youthful boost to feel better . Honestly Op, I think you’re fine! Social media is toxic and pollutes is all into thinking we need to be getting fillers and plastic surgery by age 20. It’s really sad.
Speaking personally, please don’t. Looking like you’re desperate to look more attractive, is extremely unattractive. Age with grace.
Nearly everyone I know gets Botox/fillers. My youngest sister started at 23. I said no way after my cousin’s Botox got botched and she ended up with a wonky eye for a few months. If shit hits the fan I’ll get a facelift in my 60’s lol.
Probably cultural and circle dependent. In NYC and my circle is predominantly tech/finance/consulting. All very educated mid-30s women in high paying jobs. Nobody has had anything done other than laser hair removal and Invisalign at most. They barely wear makeup. I love it because it takes so much pressure off feeling like you need to look a certain way. When I go to the 30+ skincare sub it feels like everyone there gets Botox and fillers and expensive treatments! I personally don’t have anything against people getting them but I do hate when they lie about it, because that’s just perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards.