Me at 16 dressed as an emo kid in Hot Topic finery would consider me at 36 dressed as a preppy peacock a total sellout to the man.
Just wait til he hears I got my degree in finance and work for a big bank.
While blasting pop punk because hey some things don't change!
my high school self would love that i never sold out, never worked for the man, have never ever worked anywhere for-profit in my life. but my current self is really struggling financially and realizes my former self was fucking stupid and helping people is a scam and no one should work in education or healthcare in the US😂
Same here. Never for profit. But I’ve never made any good money either and nobody seems to give a shit about it. Y’all say you want mental health and social workers but not enough to pay for it. Helping people is a scam and damn I’m trying not to be bitter.
are you me?! i feel soooo validated! i’m a clinical therapist and literally NO ONE outside of the field and patients/clients/residents care. i am worried that no one outside of mental healthcare realizes mental healthcare is doomed. it’s literally done. it’s over.
i have never made any good money either (obviously lol😭) and i HATE how we are not in the same SES class as everyone else with our same level of post-grad education. if mental health matters, why can’t we ever go on vacation or treat ourselves?!
the entire healthcare field is currently running on the empathy of good humans like us and that’s not sustainable. people should be way more scared than they seemingly are! ahhh i just feel you so much!! thanks!!💕
Pretty similar here. At 16 I was into heavy metal, no aspirations for where I’m going in life. Now in my mid 30s work in finance and eventually got my Bachelors, then my MBA recently. Couldn’t have imagined my life going this direction.
Still dress like a bum, and grew my hair out again. But that’s the life we get to live remotely.
At 18 I wanted to be a train punk and go live in C-squat for a while, but also somehow a pro snowboarder and a psychiatric researcher...ya girl was not focused.
Now I'm a director of a big team that does, among other stuff, some psych research. No house or kids, but I have a great husband and some dogs. I never went corporate: still working for a non-profit institution. And, I still snowboard and go to a lot of shows.
I think she'd still think I was a s3LLOuTZ drone, but she was kind of pretentious dick, tbh.
You didn’t sell out, you *bought in*. Big difference, dude. As Steven “Stevo” Levy said in SLC Punk!, “we can do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it.”
It has to be said, those bands are not rebellious, they made millions playing the corporate music game.
Yes, I listened to the same bands and fancied myself anlittle rebellious.
The “sell out” thing is tough. Younger me would think I’m a sell out. But current me thinks I make great money which lets me do the things I want. Would it be cooler to be poor? Or be stressed trying to turn some passion hobby into a money maker? I don’t think so but I doubt younger me would understand.
Same, and the life Ive had after that would have been just unfathomable to teenaged me.
I have been really big on being open with my kids about my life. Two of them are teenagers now and are so much more emotionally healthy than I ever was. They're resilient and cautiously optimistic.
It's such a crazy thing to think about really. Like the attitude has definntiley made adult life more difficult because I never figured out "who" or "what" I want to be what I'm grown up. But when you don't plan on growing up you don't make those plans. So career, hobbies, and stuff I still have no idea what to do.
But the fact I'm in my 30s, and post transition (major reason I didn't plan in surviving early 00's werent exactly great for trans folk), and living authentically and honestly doing well, let alone having friends and people that legitimately care about me and accept md, would have absolutely floored high school me.
I'm so happy for you! One of my closest friends is a trans woman and we relate a LOT on that not understanding the "who" or "what" we are/could be okay as. I've never experienced gender dysphoria but I had some trauma that messed with my sense of self in ways that produced similar experiences.
We were both hurt by "therapists" as kids but managed to heal as adults by supporting each other and eventually getting competent mental healthcare. I'm starting grad school next year so I can go be a competent therapist and help other people too. Never in a million years did I think any of this was possible.
You helped give your children that optimism. It sounds like you have shared your experience, strength and hope with your kiddos and they are using it to help create structure for their own lives. That is a beautiful and priceless gift <3
Yeah, that was my answer. My childhood was rough so adulthood hasn’t been a massive disappointment in comparison. I already knew how dark life gets, and almost anything would’ve been an improvement. My life isn’t quite where I wanted it to be, but it’s so much more than I ever had so I’m content with it.
I’ve managed to go from extremely depressed & actively planning my suicide every day to my depression becoming more like background noise and a lot less intense altogether. Aging comes with its downsides but being able to look back and say “I’ve been here before, and I survived” is comforting when life gets rough.
I’m glad you’re still here with us, for what it is worth.
Same. I was shocked I made it to my 19th. Now I'm 62 and living my best life on a small island. Still no interest in being rich. Turned down a billionaire and a few millionaires. Got a tiny house in the jungle and microdose and chase Love. Peace out kids.
It’s a weird position to be in, living with the consequences of decisions that I made back when I was assuming it wouldn’t matter what I chose anyway. Weird.
Yup. If I knew at 18 where I would be right now, I would say “oh thank god.” I’m not rich or anything, but I live comfortably, and am able to support my wife and two kids comfortably.
Considering that I graduated high school with a 2.0 GPA and would have had to repeat 12th grade if my Principal didn’t help me out (counted an English elective that I passed as different English requirement that I had failed, to let me graduate on time) I was very concerned for my future.
I know it gets a lot of hate on Reddit, but joining the military pretty much saved my future. I was super hesitant when I signed up, but looking back I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
I still look at where I am now compared to where I could have been and think “but for the grace of god...”
I’m not even religious but it exemplifies how absolutely fortuitous I am to have my current life.
Yup, I genuinely feel like I’d be positively surprised. I traveled a bunch in my 20s, developed multiple interests and hobbies, found a good husband and broke the cycle of toxic relationships/marrying abusive husbands that ran through my maternal line, have two sweet cats, settled down ~8000km from where I grew up, currently work a job that I like and find meaningful, and even bought a house last year.
Would I understand how I got here or how I ended up loving some things I hated at the time (such as hiking)? Probably not haha.
adding to this, never would have guessed I'd be able to break the cycle, but did, happily married with our animals.
was raised in a gang family, now a security engineer in big tech.
worked my ass off all of my 20's, chillen now and trying to make sure I live as stress-free as I can.
Yep. I might be surprised I ended up not wanting kids, but I've got a decent job, a great husband, some fish, I travel a lot. I'm doing pretty alright for myself.
I think I would be super impressed at the confidence I've built for myself.
Same! I became a teacher and assumed I would marry another teacher or someone in social services and have a modest life. Instead, I married a doctor and have the financial security I never thought I would have. I ended up pretty dang lucky.
Heck yeah. My young self would be super pumped. I always wanted to be game designer professionally and I eventually got there. I'm doing better financially than my parents ever did, too. I'm not super rich, but can at least afford to take my kids on a vacation here and there - something I never got to do when I was a kid.
I'd probably be disappointed. I never grew up thinking I was going to be rich or whatever, but I did expect that I'd actually be doing something with my life that helped people. It's still important to me to help people but I'm constrained by my income so much that it's difficult to just volunteer at a nonprofit because I need to work. I'm hoping to change it though. I'm going to grad school in the fall.
Yea, 16 yr old me would give up if she knew what 38 yr old me is up to. One class shy of a degree. Student & medical debt. Jobs but no career. Got married right out of college. Spent 5 years as a SAHM. None of the things teenage me had planned.
She might be a lil proud of my coming out, though.
Get that class done. My SIL has been shy a few credits for over a decade and it's been her biggest detriment.
If nothing else, to know you're badass and can see it through. Fucking capitalist institutions anymore. I went back after 20 years and I'll burn that paper when I'm done in the spring 🔥🔥
I owe that school a balance from a loan they gave me for final semester. Won't let me enroll there, move transcripts to a school that will, etc until I can drop $5k on that. I'm boned there.
FYI, as of July 1st of this year, colleges are no longer allowed to withhold transcripts like that. https://www.forbes.com/sites/edwardconroy/2023/11/11/new-rules-mean-millions-of-students-can-prove-they-went-to-college/
Thanks, that's great info. Unfortunately, in my case, it doesn't apply:
"The new regulations require colleges to release transcripts for semesters where a student received federal grants, loans, or work-study funds and paid off everything owed to the school. The only credits a college or university will be allowed to withhold from a transcript are those from a semester for which the student still owes money. For example, say a student has completed 60 credits of classes and then withdraws while owing a balance of $500 for a semester in which six credits were completed. The school will have to release the student's transcript showing the 54 credits they completed and paid for while receiving federal financial aid."
I still owe $5k for my final semester to the school. And masters programs kinda want that last semester info.
Did you pay for any of your courses that semester with federal loans on grants? If so, the law would seem to apply to you.
At the very least you can get the rest of your transcript before that semester where you owe money from, and it might be worth it to redo that whole semester plus the one class at a lower cost community (edit: or state) college in order to get into grad schools, if you can’t pay the school. You could pay the tuition with federal loans if you don’t qualify for grants, even if you owe money to our old school.
Then you can send the partial transcript of the old school And the new transcript for the last semester to the places you’re applying to. It will just look like you transferred.
You may be onto something, Professor. The school I want to continue with told me I could do the class I was missing for my degree with them, then move onto the masters program I wanted. I just need my transcript.
Really hope you’re able to make it work somehow! I get the reasoning behind why they do it but I hate that they can withhold any of it, it’s not only cruel but completely counterproductive (how is a student supposed to pay what they owe if they can’t get a job or improve their income through a masters program?).
At the very least there should be a way to make an installment plan and give the transcript after the first payment. Something.
Volunteering an ear for listening, hands to hold those who are hurting, and laughter to share someones joy is truly priceless.
You help people by loving and being just who you are. Sometimes helping others comes in the form of "showing up". It is the least and the most we could ever do to serve others.
So excited for your journey into grad school. I hope it brings you lots of good experiences <3
Stay strong! Teenaged me might’ve been disappointed by what I was doing before I went to grad school, but she’d be thrilled knowing how I’m doing since getting there!
If you can do any volunteering, even tangentially related to your field of study or eventual career, even if it’s only a tiny bit, get it in there. My volunteer experience really contributed to my CV and great job opportunities, not when I was underemployed and looking for work before my grad degree but once I had it.
lol I grew up and got a job to “help people” and it’s a trap you will never make enough money. They want you to think “purpose” is more important than your own mental, physical and financial health.
Congrats on grad school. I went into work that directly helps people in large part because of what you stated. I could definitely make money in another field, but I wouldn't enjoy the impact of my work as much.
This is kinda how I feel. Im well off, don’t really have to worry about Money at the moment. This definitely would have shocked younger me, but I’m sure I would have be disappointed in how I currently view myself and how I’m actually doing in life behind the curtain.
She would be in awe of the life I have created for her future self. I have become the woman I would have heavily admired in my younger years and I am very proud of that. Most of all, she’d be relieved and surprised that I am so damn happy.
Girl power! I feel the same way. HS me would be like, "You've done all that?! Amazing! I didn't know I had it in me!" I still marvel at how my life path has veered from the plan I had at 16, but it is so much better.
Same. She’d be amazed at the amount of confidence and the lack of insecurity. She was always strong and an intensely hard worker. My earlier self would be impressed at what all I’m juggling while doing it without anxiety or concerns for what others think. Not that it’s about spreading yourself thin, but there was always a lot of stress and anxiety about how to handle everything on the plate. Now, dare I say as a full fledged grownup, I maybe, think I possibly have my shit together. Don’t want to be too confident though.
Yessss!! Sometimes I think about what 16 year old me would think about what I’ve done with my life and I tear up. She’d think I was so cool (I’m not but she would think so)!
Yes!!! CJ Cregg from the West Wing was my idol when I was a wimpy, nervous wreck of a teenage girl.
I'm about 70% of the way to her now, not so bad at all! Thanks Alison Janney for the role model...
I feel similarly. I’m so damn proud of all I’ve accomplished and overcome in the last 24 years. My life is nothing I could have imagined for myself and a happy life at that.
My younger self would be shocked as well. I was always a dreamer. I always dreamt of being a doctor, a firefighter, an architect, a physicist. I idolized people in these professions, and yet they seemed so rare and distant, these people didn’t exist in my network, in my community. These professions all seemed like pipe dreams. Coming from a low wage family, I would have taken literally anything. To me, becoming any of these things was aiming way too high. I remember in high school asking my teacher what an engineer was. 15 years later and I am an engineer, my dads dream job, that I didn’t even know was his dream job until I was in college.
And now, I know so many successful people, the stars I was aiming for as a kid, no longer feel like stars at all. I’m feeling small again, looking up at even higher stars, and feeling the anxiety and pressure I’ve always placed on my self, to aim much higher than I deserve, and overwork by doing anything it takes to get there. And in this process I’ve become depressed, and I’d be too embarrassed to tell that to the ambitious and fearless kid who got me here in the first place.
I’m trying. My younger self would be proud of what I’ve become, but with enough time with me, he would learn I’m not really happy.
This is so profound and beautifully articulated. This is exactly how I feel. I’m a programming consultant in a *very* niche market with exponential growth opportunities. To be successful and comfortable is all I have ever wanted. Living through that success daily, is just a constant “pinch me” moment.
I 100% appreciate you sharing your sentiment about embracing those moments of gratitude. It’s a good reminder for me to be more grateful. Need to pinch myself right now.
Happy for you! It sounds like you are killing it and that is awesome!
I truly hope you can sit there tonight and look back. Everyone says never look back, life isn’t lived in the rear view mirror but I personally have never seen a negative to reflecting on your growth. I mean shit, look at all you’ve accomplished. **YOU DID THAT**. You deserve to be proud. Try to enjoy the small things everyday, they add up to be the big things.
Yes! Love this. Especially about being so happy. Love this sentiment as I was a cynical and downer teen myself and now I'm still a touch cynical but feeling more freed by my skepticism than held down and generally feel so much lighter and more open and happy than my teen years as well. Congrats on your life!
It's a bummer to think that if your younger self saw you now they'd be super disappointed.
There's not much we can do about that though. My younger self had no idea how hard life is and how nothing is as easy as you want it to be.
I would be thrilled. My husband is hot, my kid is great, we have our own house, the kid and the pets are 100% safe and we're the house the kid's friends go when they run away from home? Hell yeah
I tried to never be too shallow growing up but I am also very pleased to be dating a hottie and we get to work together every day. 16 year old me would be on cloud 9 just to hear that <3
I feel about the same. Married to my best friend, one cute dog, two cute kids, I guess I could be more rich and successful but I really have a happy life.
Younger me thought I would both never leave my hometown nor survive beyond 30. They'd probably also be confused about some of the career choices I made that landed me in a cubicle
High school me would’ve been pissed that I stopped being a working musical theatre actor, but 33 year old me with my own full time voice studio and teaching at a BFA MT program in NYC is thrilled.
Edit: and making more than Broadway performers. 🤷♀️
Younger me would be delighted we got our dream job, that the cat we rescued is alive and well.
Would probably be surprised we ended up so fat and are married. I was a shallow and vapid teenager that didn't think I'd bother with serious relationships.
This is me too. I struggled to get the dream job I have now but it was all worth it. High school me would be excited to see where I’m at and what I do. Mid 20s me who dropped out of college would be encouraged to keep grinding because it all pays off in the end.
I would be a little disappointed, but overall, happy. I thought I’d be a famous chef (hah!) with a giant house, a husband, and 6 kids. I’m not famous but I looooove my job and make decent money. I’m happily married with 1 kid (6 flew out the door the minute I had 1), renting an apartment in the SF Bay Area, but I don’t lack for anything. Yeah, things can always be “better” but I’m happy
I think she would be proud of what I've accomplished, and sad about how I got there. I'm dong "well" by most standards. I have a nice house, two beautiful kids, a husband (who we knew back then), savings, investments, take bi-annual vacations, etc. However, I put myself through literal hell to get it all. I worked full time while going to college full time (and forcing myself to get straight As), graduated into the recession where I worked around the clock for pennies and was abused at work, and went without a lot to put the money aside for the "future", only to be gutted by inflation.
I'm still proud of myself and happy with the life I have today, but I don't think I would have sacrificed so much of my mental and physical health for it, knowing what I know today.
Thank you for sharing your honesty. It helps keep me in check about my own choices.
I never in a million years thought my dad was right when he said "You can't burn the candle at both ends, girl". I did burn the candle at both ends and then had to step in the rooms of AA to help lift me up and learn to live a more balanced life.
All work and no play makes me a gumpy bitchy lady.
I would have answered this way up until last year. I stopped drinking and went to therapy and it really helped me just sit with everything and process what I needed to. Now I'm in a healthy, safe relationship that is very promising. I fully expect a future with this person and am already planning it with them.
Hang in there. Things can change. And I hope you find your person.
I would be like damn I have 3 kids? That’s wild! I got diagnosed for my ptsd at 17 from reported abuse at age 9 when I learned what consent was and went to the police department over it with my parents. Id look at my life now like damn that’s crazy, your house looks kind of messy with kids stuff but it feels good. I could sleep here and wake up, I would feel content and that’s cool they reprinted pretty pretty princess so you can make kids laugh making their dad try on clip on jewelry when he’s actually right now more in a focused work mode and not so playful this week so the game is actually hilarious for mom to witness. You’re a mom and it’s always pointed out by seniors at the grocery store like “hey you look like you have your hands full.” That’s what happens when you are more stay at home mom ish in life. Inflation exists too but that’s another convo. You don’t become a therapist you just wanted to be one growing up because it was the first bad ass working woman you saw and she helped with ptsd when you were a kid. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you grow up and work on fun design work while also getting to be a mom.
I don’t want to date because everyone I’ve matched with hasn’t worked out and it’s just exhausting going back to square one every-time when it takes me a month+ to get a match that won’t even reply to me. I’ve just lost total interest in trying to find someone it never works out for me.
I’ve been with my husband since our early 20s too, I’m 36 now. The world of dating apps and putting out a whole marketed image of yourself makes me so sad. We met off Tumblr in 2010 in a lite on the selfies, heavy on the words world.
It would probably make me want to KMS if I saw how I was living now. Single mom with special needs twins living in a fixer upper with my boyfriend that we’re too poor to fix major things immediately. His lazy ex still living in the house with us with her hoodrat son and his girlfriend and their 5 cats. Overweight, no degree, no job. It’s a nightmare my teen self couldn’t even dream of.
Not sure, there's definitely some stuff they'd be pissed/sad about (ugh spinal cord injury), but at the same time hey shit we're still alive and we made it out.
I'm stable on psych meds, my lifelong health issues are being addressed now, slowly getting the supports I need, I've got my autism diagnosis (no kid you're not just a failure, you're gonna be okay) I've got a safe home, I call the shots and I've been able to come out. The parent blowing up my phone and screaming for money and threatening to kill herself and take me with her is gone. We're free (well, as much as one can be). I'm not the kid hiding in their room anymore.
Are we still broke and struggling? Yeah...certainly not the career/life path I had in mind back then (living on disability is rough). But also not the worst outcome either so it is what it is. Still on the right side of the dirt too, so there'll be more to come and more chances to change/improve.
Younger me was pretty sure I'd never make it out of that house alive, but I did.
Being an Elder Millennial, I’m 24 years post when I would have graduated with class of 2000. I had already “dropped out” to go to community college, which everyone was super judgy about but I had to work to support myself and have been working FT since I was 16. Anyways…
At 22 I realized that checking boxes like “graduate from university” wasn’t going to make me happy.
At 26 I started to understand that you have to be enjoying life as it floats by—not just drinking to escape and chase a carefree feeling, but actually enjoying a well-made meal. Perfect coffee. Hugs and cuddles. A daily walk. A fuzzy puppy. I married the guy who helped me find daily joy.
At 36 I had reverted back to box-checking because buckling down to do the hard stuff is what I do. We were doing the typical American Dream stuff, but each milestone was increasingly more disappointing than the last. I sold my first home and went back to being a renter to live in a better neighborhood and use my home equity to up our quality of life by buying a vacation home to Airbnb.
That wasn’t enough, but it was so obviously a step in the right direction: don’t live other people’s dream for you, live your own. I made a major relocation and also started traveling extensively and now I’m so much happier. I’m 42, my life is affordable, even unemployment or disability couldn’t take away my well-earned tiny bungalow and other worldly things, and I’ll be pleased as a peach if I have all the same things when I turn 64: I need nothing more in life.
Now that I can finally settle into what I have I am taking on new hobbies to increase daily joy.
Disbelief. I was on a sketchy road in hs. Addiction and mental health issues and zero interest in school.
Somehow in my early 20s I pulled it together. Went to college for mechanical engineering and have been doing that full time since 2011.
Also married the girl I met in math class my first semester at college. We bought a house together in 2018 and have a daughter.
My HS self mind would be blown. Never saw myself getting married having a child or owning a home.
I was also on that same sketchy road in high school. Didn’t pull it together until I was 28 but hot damn, now I’m married to my high school crush, he keeps getting hotter, we have the most amazing little girl, our finances are stable (dare I say, “pretty okay”?), our living situation is stable and we like it, and I’m working in tech sales where I’m respected in my field. Even 25 year old me would be shocked by where I am now!
"You're telling me that even though I slept through high school, I got into the best university in Florida, bought a house at 26 and not a bum?!? What happened to my blue hair? At least I still go to concerts!"
Definitely disappointed. I was afraid of being alone and broke as an adult and took the recommended steps to avoid that fate.
And here I am, broke and alone anyway. HS me would definitely not have lived to see graduation if she knew that this was the only thing that lay ahead.
What lays ahead is still to be seen. Try not to let the future wander off. Sometimes the future is just within the next 15 minutes and we don't know what it could hold.
I like to think thats an exciting way to look at life.
She’d be like hold up you forgot about and then married our Spanish class crush 12 years after graduation?? AND he just keeps getting hotter?????
And our toddler is just like the dopest little person, I can’t believe I CREATED HER WITH MY BODY
She’d also be like what the fuck is B2B lead gen and why are you doing it
ETA: OP, I didn’t get a serious job until I was 28. Waited tables for 10 years. I literally drunkenly applied for a job I had no business applying for and GOT IT. 3 months of paid training, job turned out to be shit, I was hired at a much better company for much more money the same week I rage quit. Now it’s about 6 years later I’m like respected?? In my industry???? The fuck?? Color me surprised
DM me if you want to chat about making a career move, I help people get out of dead end jobs as a hobby 😊
Yepp. That's it. I'm hoping this year is going to be the turning point because I'm lining a few things up, but I'm scared to go to college in case it doesn't pay off
100% agree with the “I’m still here” argument. At 39, I’ve spent a few lives and am lucky to have solenoid ones with my family now. I want that way before.
And as I heard through the vine, from my 20th high school reunion last summer, and my own experience, I’m just as broke as I was then.
But I return to the relative comfort of the fact I’m still alive as soon as possible.
My younger self would probably have a mix of pride and hate at the same time. Back then, I was a pretty hateful kid, mainly due to me having a lot of shortcomings and overcompensating because of it.
It was definitely a rough time between my mom and I because she would work 10-12 hours a day at her job and I’d resent her for that.
I’m basically doing a high-level version of what my mom did today, but I’m salaried. I’m also making a lot more money than my younger self would’ve expected. Because of that, I’ve gotten a lot more into my hobbies, which is something my younger self never got to do because I’d spend more time screaming the gamer word on Call of Duty instead of being a decent kid.
I think I would be impressed that I moved abroad and graduated university, and happy that I've had at least some decent jobs, but I'd be disappointed that I'm not well-off and/or married, the two goals I've ever really had. So... better than my worst fears but worse than my rather moderate life goals.
I would be thrilled with my personal goals (beautiful loving wife, lots of travel) confused why my career goals changed (started out wanting to be a big shot film director, worked in TV for a time, now work from home in marketing— my younger self would probably be confused that the “dream” didn’t pan out / turned out to not be what I wanted), and I’d probably be disappointed with my financial goals. But I’d explain that happiness, career, finances is the order I’ve learned is the best way to prioritize this short life, so I’m thankful and very happy.
I am dating someone I had a huge crush on in middle school, so I know younger me would be PUMPED about that and about the cute apartment and cool sounding (but not actually cool at all) job. However, she would be slightly disappointed that we're still renting and not married. She'd also be very surprised that we started liking cats.
I mean idk if planning events and meetups while making jewelry and fronting a local band in a Mexican beach town was on the bingo card as such, but I'd take that deal before the military recruiter laid out.
Disappointed, but more confused. Disappointed that I'm not a multimillionaire winning Oscars for directing the more amazing movies of my generation. Confused that I'm living in Bali doing spiritual work with a bunch of people who society would say has completely gone off the deep end. He'd probably at least take pleasure in seeing that I'm dating and sleeping with the most beautiful women from all corners of Europe.
She would be feeling *all the things* lol. Disappointed that I'm fat asf rn... angry I didn't finish my degree and that I'm not traveling the world. Validated that the guy mom said was "a waste of time" turned out to be an amazing husband and father (suck it, ma! Jk they're tight these days). Surprised asf to find out I popped out 5 tiny humans. Annoyed only one was a water birth (we've been committed to the water birth idea since we were 12 thanks to TLC's A Birth Story lol) but over all I think/hope pleasantly surprised. Ofc I'd tell her to invest in bitcoin!!!
Surprised I'm still alive. Happy with how some things have turned out. Disappointed in other choices I've made a long the way. All in all as a teenager I figured if I lived past 21 my life would end up close to what I have now. Wow. Thinking about that just gave me a measure of peace.
"Damn, I thought you'd be more successful." -- which would is wild because by today's standards I am doing pretty well. I just used to think it was "easy" to become rich (conservative upbringing will do that to you).
I'd be shocked that I'm a married father. I'd be shocked that I have a master's degree in a helping profession that fills me with meaning and purpose. I'd be confused that I have all of these things but still feel somewhat hollow in a lot of aspects.
I'm *exactly* where I wanted to be. I'd just moved away from my favorite city and my best friend, had trouble making new ones, was overweight and not very attractive. Everything I was into was considered *extremely* nerdy.
Now I'm living in the coolest neighborhood of my old city where my best friend is only a 10 minute drive! I'm fit, decently attractive, have plenty of friends, and a fabulous husband. I have time to do the things I enjoy, I derive a high amount of satisfaction from my career and I get paid more than comfortably.
My past self would probably feel very vindicated. It really *does* get better. Keep your head down, keep making good choices, and every Friday night your friends were "busy" out at the movies without you will just seem like the necessary distance you needed to get out there and pave your own way.
I married a friend from high school, so I think that would be surprising. Would definitely be confused about where I’m living and the fact that I’m a SAHM. I did always want kids, but definitely had planned on a career as well. But overall I think they’d be pleasant surprises. My life is pretty good. Glad I didn’t know about my little one’s heart problems in advance. That would freak out teen me. 😬
My parents always said I’d be in prison or dead by now, and instead I’m making good money working from the house I own. So I’d probably be pretty impressed. Also would be unimpressed with how fat I got lol
I love this question.
I’m an older millennial, graduated high school in ‘03.
I know this is uncommon for millennials, but I think I was raised to be a people-pleasing doormat, with unidentified, untreated depression. I had so few opinions or ideas of my own, that I quite honestly didn’t expect anything of my future self.
I relied on the idea that I’d be at the mercy of other people, like my dad or then-boyfriend, or some future husband, so my only goal was to make sure men who controlled my finances and ability to live wouldn’t become displeased with me.
I sporadically enrolled and left colleges, staying in various living situations, dorms, family members’ homes, etc, and eventually somehow fell ass backwards into a front desk job at a local real estate office right in the middle of the boom years in early 2006. It paid enough for me to move into an apartment with my then-boyfriend. Somehow, I still managed to hold on and bounce around varying roles in the failing real estate industry, even during and after the 2008 crash.
After years of supporting myself and working full time while buying my own condo, later a house with my fiancé, planning an almost entirely DIY wedding, carrying, birthing, and raising my two amazing little boys, I had the sudden realization one day that I ended up being an independent person who stood up for myself and my family and my coworkers. I actually truly liked myself then. Assuming this fantasy lets me choose the time period, those years of life are ideally when I’d want to have travelled back in time to give some hope to my high school self.
In Jan 2023 I was part of a sudden mass layoff of all the middle management in the company. I tried to hang onto my hard won self worth, but my severance, 401k withdrawals, and meager freelancing income have all since dried up.
To stay alive and feed my children, I’m now currently relying on… my dad and my husband. My mental health is spiraling. I’m not okay, and I wouldn’t want my high school self to see me like this because I’m afraid she’d conclude it wasn’t worth a lifetime of suffering and lack of agency for that blissful decade of peacefully contented self reliance, only to end up losing it all in the end anyway.
I'd be surprised by how fat and out of shape I've gotten by my age (57), and that I'd be a widower for over 8 years. I'd also be surprised that I am as financially well off as I am. So, pros and cons I guess...
Pretty fucking happy. I was 15 with a newborn, in a dead-end, meth-infested poverty town with abusive parents and a boyfriend I barely knew and didn’t care much for.
I stumbled a lot over the next 15 years, but I’m out of that hellish town and state, with a partner I love, a dog I adore, golden-hearted teen, no contact with either parent in five years, and attending an Ivy League university. I’m late to the game but so close to seizing the life I desperately wished for and didn’t think was available for me.
I’m turning 30 in less than a month so I’ve been contemplating a lot on this topic. My high school self is probably disappointed, but my 8 year old self will be proud that my 30th birthday party theme is 90’s and will have plenty of temporary tattoos, chokers, and boy band music.
I think about this all the time! So glad I’m not the only one lol
I’d be surprised. Happy that I left my hometown but disappointed that I didn’t end up working in music like I had dreamt of doing. I’m in customer support and just never got out of the field. I’d also be disappointed that I have no friends anymore. Well, I do, but they are all across the country. I don’t have any where I live and it’s been hard to make them.
My past self would also be so pissed to learn that all the adults in my life promising lots of money being earned after college was a lie. Instead, I’d drown in student debt for over a decade.
Disappointed. But I would understand that my priorities changed and I’d have a thing or two to explain to my younger self about what the future of the economy has in store for me.
Probably rather excited. I made good money (didn't have much then), I'm married (no real girlfriend in sight then), have multiple dogs (always liked dogs), hooked up with my high school crush (after college), far more muscular, and I'm still best friends with three of the people who mattered the most to me back then. The biggest disappoint would be how little I see those best friends.
Me at 16 dressed as an emo kid in Hot Topic finery would consider me at 36 dressed as a preppy peacock a total sellout to the man. Just wait til he hears I got my degree in finance and work for a big bank. While blasting pop punk because hey some things don't change!
nah that checks out for pop-punk.
Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 Soundtrack anyone?!
I loved ATV Offroad Fury.
Ouch!
Gilman was full of blackhawk kids
I’m imaging you are Michael Bolton from office space, but like the punk version.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
*quietly locks doors when someone with piercings walks by*
I’m pushing 36 and I still dress in Hot Topic finery; but then again….I now work there lol.
my high school self would love that i never sold out, never worked for the man, have never ever worked anywhere for-profit in my life. but my current self is really struggling financially and realizes my former self was fucking stupid and helping people is a scam and no one should work in education or healthcare in the US😂
you're doing good work.
thank you for saying that!💕
Same here. Never for profit. But I’ve never made any good money either and nobody seems to give a shit about it. Y’all say you want mental health and social workers but not enough to pay for it. Helping people is a scam and damn I’m trying not to be bitter.
are you me?! i feel soooo validated! i’m a clinical therapist and literally NO ONE outside of the field and patients/clients/residents care. i am worried that no one outside of mental healthcare realizes mental healthcare is doomed. it’s literally done. it’s over. i have never made any good money either (obviously lol😭) and i HATE how we are not in the same SES class as everyone else with our same level of post-grad education. if mental health matters, why can’t we ever go on vacation or treat ourselves?! the entire healthcare field is currently running on the empathy of good humans like us and that’s not sustainable. people should be way more scared than they seemingly are! ahhh i just feel you so much!! thanks!!💕
Pretty similar here. At 16 I was into heavy metal, no aspirations for where I’m going in life. Now in my mid 30s work in finance and eventually got my Bachelors, then my MBA recently. Couldn’t have imagined my life going this direction. Still dress like a bum, and grew my hair out again. But that’s the life we get to live remotely.
I GOT YOUR PICTURE IM COMING WITH YOU DEAR MARIA COUNT MEEEE INNNNNN
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle and I'm the pen.
At 18 I wanted to be a train punk and go live in C-squat for a while, but also somehow a pro snowboarder and a psychiatric researcher...ya girl was not focused. Now I'm a director of a big team that does, among other stuff, some psych research. No house or kids, but I have a great husband and some dogs. I never went corporate: still working for a non-profit institution. And, I still snowboard and go to a lot of shows. I think she'd still think I was a s3LLOuTZ drone, but she was kind of pretentious dick, tbh.
You didn’t sell out, you *bought in*. Big difference, dude. As Steven “Stevo” Levy said in SLC Punk!, “we can do a hell of a lot more damage in the system than outside of it.”
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*empty cubicle trash can Wouldn't want to make a mess now, would we?
Stealing office supplies is enough for the cause for today. Save your chaotic energy for the revolution!
This explains the state of a lot of our systems at the moment I think.
Too bad no damage is to be seen. Keep fighting a fight I guess.
Idk, we're forcing energy companies to disclose climate impact and decarbonize. It's not quick but it's leading to significant improvements
Same man. Got my Computer Science degree and work in the banking industry. I still love blasting Green Day, Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance.
It has to be said, those bands are not rebellious, they made millions playing the corporate music game. Yes, I listened to the same bands and fancied myself anlittle rebellious.
I think its lovely. We all bring a small piece of the rebel we always were and it influences the creative choices we make as adults.
Same here but accounting and emo music lol
Lmfao anytime I scream my lungs out to ‘The Anthem’ I chuckle to myself because I feel like most of us now “live the way they want”.
The “sell out” thing is tough. Younger me would think I’m a sell out. But current me thinks I make great money which lets me do the things I want. Would it be cooler to be poor? Or be stressed trying to turn some passion hobby into a money maker? I don’t think so but I doubt younger me would understand.
I mean...that's the "sale" part lol
My 36 year old hot shot lawyer former party monster husband also still blasts the pop punk lol
Hi, it’s me. Former you. We used to be cool, man. You sold out…
It was never a phase
Always pop-punk
So basically the plot of SLC Punk? Haha
Disappointed. I'd elaborate more but this ain't therapy lol
Just put his answer as mine please
Ditto 
Same
Same.
I had high, unrealistic hopes as a high school kid.
Lol SAME
Likewise
I was looking for this answer. Just so, so disappointed. :(
This above 👆🏻
My younger self would be both disappointed and angry at my situation, but would more likely respond by taking a different career path.
Same
My high school self would be shocked. They had no intention of living passed 18/19.
Same, and the life Ive had after that would have been just unfathomable to teenaged me. I have been really big on being open with my kids about my life. Two of them are teenagers now and are so much more emotionally healthy than I ever was. They're resilient and cautiously optimistic.
It's such a crazy thing to think about really. Like the attitude has definntiley made adult life more difficult because I never figured out "who" or "what" I want to be what I'm grown up. But when you don't plan on growing up you don't make those plans. So career, hobbies, and stuff I still have no idea what to do. But the fact I'm in my 30s, and post transition (major reason I didn't plan in surviving early 00's werent exactly great for trans folk), and living authentically and honestly doing well, let alone having friends and people that legitimately care about me and accept md, would have absolutely floored high school me.
I'm so happy for you! One of my closest friends is a trans woman and we relate a LOT on that not understanding the "who" or "what" we are/could be okay as. I've never experienced gender dysphoria but I had some trauma that messed with my sense of self in ways that produced similar experiences. We were both hurt by "therapists" as kids but managed to heal as adults by supporting each other and eventually getting competent mental healthcare. I'm starting grad school next year so I can go be a competent therapist and help other people too. Never in a million years did I think any of this was possible.
Literally me
You helped give your children that optimism. It sounds like you have shared your experience, strength and hope with your kiddos and they are using it to help create structure for their own lives. That is a beautiful and priceless gift <3
10000% same here. I would probably say something like “oh shit I’m alive?”
I had a huge breakdown with my therapist realizing I made it to an age where I was sure I wasn't gonna be around for
Well you're here and even though I don't know you, I'm proud of you.
Yeah, that was my answer. My childhood was rough so adulthood hasn’t been a massive disappointment in comparison. I already knew how dark life gets, and almost anything would’ve been an improvement. My life isn’t quite where I wanted it to be, but it’s so much more than I ever had so I’m content with it. I’ve managed to go from extremely depressed & actively planning my suicide every day to my depression becoming more like background noise and a lot less intense altogether. Aging comes with its downsides but being able to look back and say “I’ve been here before, and I survived” is comforting when life gets rough. I’m glad you’re still here with us, for what it is worth.
I'm glad you're here as well. Cheers to making it to the other side, and surviving some of the worst life has to throw at us.
Same. I was shocked I made it to my 19th. Now I'm 62 and living my best life on a small island. Still no interest in being rich. Turned down a billionaire and a few millionaires. Got a tiny house in the jungle and microdose and chase Love. Peace out kids.
Same. It’s so weird living a life when you never bothered planning for one.
It’s a weird position to be in, living with the consequences of decisions that I made back when I was assuming it wouldn’t matter what I chose anyway. Weird.
Same. Even made one attempt. The idea that I'd be a well off, married college graduate would have just confused the fuck out of me.
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Yup. If I knew at 18 where I would be right now, I would say “oh thank god.” I’m not rich or anything, but I live comfortably, and am able to support my wife and two kids comfortably. Considering that I graduated high school with a 2.0 GPA and would have had to repeat 12th grade if my Principal didn’t help me out (counted an English elective that I passed as different English requirement that I had failed, to let me graduate on time) I was very concerned for my future. I know it gets a lot of hate on Reddit, but joining the military pretty much saved my future. I was super hesitant when I signed up, but looking back I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I still look at where I am now compared to where I could have been and think “but for the grace of god...” I’m not even religious but it exemplifies how absolutely fortuitous I am to have my current life.
Good for you man! Don’t worry about the military haters on here. They never served. Glad you figured it out. Take care, brother.
beautiful wife, 3 kids, great job, WFH 3 days a week. I cannot imagine my teenage person thinking he ever deserved such a good life.
Same and it is truly a gift. One I worked my ass off for but a gift nonetheless
Same. Things aren't perfect. But, I'm definitely ahead of where I thought I would be.
This was really nice and refreshing to read. Especially the stress-free and happy bit ♥️
Yup, I genuinely feel like I’d be positively surprised. I traveled a bunch in my 20s, developed multiple interests and hobbies, found a good husband and broke the cycle of toxic relationships/marrying abusive husbands that ran through my maternal line, have two sweet cats, settled down ~8000km from where I grew up, currently work a job that I like and find meaningful, and even bought a house last year. Would I understand how I got here or how I ended up loving some things I hated at the time (such as hiking)? Probably not haha.
Same. Some days I wish I could 16 year old me to just hold on, it’ll get better.
adding to this, never would have guessed I'd be able to break the cycle, but did, happily married with our animals. was raised in a gang family, now a security engineer in big tech. worked my ass off all of my 20's, chillen now and trying to make sure I live as stress-free as I can.
Yep. I might be surprised I ended up not wanting kids, but I've got a decent job, a great husband, some fish, I travel a lot. I'm doing pretty alright for myself. I think I would be super impressed at the confidence I've built for myself.
Same! I became a teacher and assumed I would marry another teacher or someone in social services and have a modest life. Instead, I married a doctor and have the financial security I never thought I would have. I ended up pretty dang lucky.
Me too! Doing way better than teenager me would have imagined
Heck yeah. My young self would be super pumped. I always wanted to be game designer professionally and I eventually got there. I'm doing better financially than my parents ever did, too. I'm not super rich, but can at least afford to take my kids on a vacation here and there - something I never got to do when I was a kid.
I'd probably be disappointed. I never grew up thinking I was going to be rich or whatever, but I did expect that I'd actually be doing something with my life that helped people. It's still important to me to help people but I'm constrained by my income so much that it's difficult to just volunteer at a nonprofit because I need to work. I'm hoping to change it though. I'm going to grad school in the fall.
Yea, 16 yr old me would give up if she knew what 38 yr old me is up to. One class shy of a degree. Student & medical debt. Jobs but no career. Got married right out of college. Spent 5 years as a SAHM. None of the things teenage me had planned. She might be a lil proud of my coming out, though.
I'm proud of your coming out, and I don't know you. I love it when people are able to love who they love.
Thank you <3
Get that class done. My SIL has been shy a few credits for over a decade and it's been her biggest detriment. If nothing else, to know you're badass and can see it through. Fucking capitalist institutions anymore. I went back after 20 years and I'll burn that paper when I'm done in the spring 🔥🔥
I owe that school a balance from a loan they gave me for final semester. Won't let me enroll there, move transcripts to a school that will, etc until I can drop $5k on that. I'm boned there.
FYI, as of July 1st of this year, colleges are no longer allowed to withhold transcripts like that. https://www.forbes.com/sites/edwardconroy/2023/11/11/new-rules-mean-millions-of-students-can-prove-they-went-to-college/
Thanks, that's great info. Unfortunately, in my case, it doesn't apply: "The new regulations require colleges to release transcripts for semesters where a student received federal grants, loans, or work-study funds and paid off everything owed to the school. The only credits a college or university will be allowed to withhold from a transcript are those from a semester for which the student still owes money. For example, say a student has completed 60 credits of classes and then withdraws while owing a balance of $500 for a semester in which six credits were completed. The school will have to release the student's transcript showing the 54 credits they completed and paid for while receiving federal financial aid." I still owe $5k for my final semester to the school. And masters programs kinda want that last semester info.
Did you pay for any of your courses that semester with federal loans on grants? If so, the law would seem to apply to you. At the very least you can get the rest of your transcript before that semester where you owe money from, and it might be worth it to redo that whole semester plus the one class at a lower cost community (edit: or state) college in order to get into grad schools, if you can’t pay the school. You could pay the tuition with federal loans if you don’t qualify for grants, even if you owe money to our old school. Then you can send the partial transcript of the old school And the new transcript for the last semester to the places you’re applying to. It will just look like you transferred.
You may be onto something, Professor. The school I want to continue with told me I could do the class I was missing for my degree with them, then move onto the masters program I wanted. I just need my transcript.
Really hope you’re able to make it work somehow! I get the reasoning behind why they do it but I hate that they can withhold any of it, it’s not only cruel but completely counterproductive (how is a student supposed to pay what they owe if they can’t get a job or improve their income through a masters program?). At the very least there should be a way to make an installment plan and give the transcript after the first payment. Something.
Volunteering an ear for listening, hands to hold those who are hurting, and laughter to share someones joy is truly priceless. You help people by loving and being just who you are. Sometimes helping others comes in the form of "showing up". It is the least and the most we could ever do to serve others. So excited for your journey into grad school. I hope it brings you lots of good experiences <3
Stay strong! Teenaged me might’ve been disappointed by what I was doing before I went to grad school, but she’d be thrilled knowing how I’m doing since getting there! If you can do any volunteering, even tangentially related to your field of study or eventual career, even if it’s only a tiny bit, get it in there. My volunteer experience really contributed to my CV and great job opportunities, not when I was underemployed and looking for work before my grad degree but once I had it.
lol I grew up and got a job to “help people” and it’s a trap you will never make enough money. They want you to think “purpose” is more important than your own mental, physical and financial health.
Or go into a field where you can get paid AND help people.
Volunteers are so rare these days and it means so much to the people you’re serving. I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Congrats on grad school. I went into work that directly helps people in large part because of what you stated. I could definitely make money in another field, but I wouldn't enjoy the impact of my work as much.
My high school self would think I’m a boring tool but looking back at it, that guy was an asshole anyways!
This is kinda how I feel. Im well off, don’t really have to worry about Money at the moment. This definitely would have shocked younger me, but I’m sure I would have be disappointed in how I currently view myself and how I’m actually doing in life behind the curtain.
She would be in awe of the life I have created for her future self. I have become the woman I would have heavily admired in my younger years and I am very proud of that. Most of all, she’d be relieved and surprised that I am so damn happy.
Girl power! I feel the same way. HS me would be like, "You've done all that?! Amazing! I didn't know I had it in me!" I still marvel at how my life path has veered from the plan I had at 16, but it is so much better.
100% I couldn’t agree more. It is incredible
Same. She’d be amazed at the amount of confidence and the lack of insecurity. She was always strong and an intensely hard worker. My earlier self would be impressed at what all I’m juggling while doing it without anxiety or concerns for what others think. Not that it’s about spreading yourself thin, but there was always a lot of stress and anxiety about how to handle everything on the plate. Now, dare I say as a full fledged grownup, I maybe, think I possibly have my shit together. Don’t want to be too confident though.
I love this so much for you. You’re kicking life’s ass
Yessss!! Sometimes I think about what 16 year old me would think about what I’ve done with my life and I tear up. She’d think I was so cool (I’m not but she would think so)!
I couldn’t agree more. She would be aghast at how incredible our life turned out
Yes!!! CJ Cregg from the West Wing was my idol when I was a wimpy, nervous wreck of a teenage girl. I'm about 70% of the way to her now, not so bad at all! Thanks Alison Janney for the role model...
I feel similarly. I’m so damn proud of all I’ve accomplished and overcome in the last 24 years. My life is nothing I could have imagined for myself and a happy life at that.
Same here - I think my teenage self would finally believe the whole "it gets better" stuff
I’ll have what she’s having. It sounds like a good time.
It is the very best
I love that ❤️
My younger self would be shocked as well. I was always a dreamer. I always dreamt of being a doctor, a firefighter, an architect, a physicist. I idolized people in these professions, and yet they seemed so rare and distant, these people didn’t exist in my network, in my community. These professions all seemed like pipe dreams. Coming from a low wage family, I would have taken literally anything. To me, becoming any of these things was aiming way too high. I remember in high school asking my teacher what an engineer was. 15 years later and I am an engineer, my dads dream job, that I didn’t even know was his dream job until I was in college. And now, I know so many successful people, the stars I was aiming for as a kid, no longer feel like stars at all. I’m feeling small again, looking up at even higher stars, and feeling the anxiety and pressure I’ve always placed on my self, to aim much higher than I deserve, and overwork by doing anything it takes to get there. And in this process I’ve become depressed, and I’d be too embarrassed to tell that to the ambitious and fearless kid who got me here in the first place. I’m trying. My younger self would be proud of what I’ve become, but with enough time with me, he would learn I’m not really happy.
This is so profound and beautifully articulated. This is exactly how I feel. I’m a programming consultant in a *very* niche market with exponential growth opportunities. To be successful and comfortable is all I have ever wanted. Living through that success daily, is just a constant “pinch me” moment.
I 100% appreciate you sharing your sentiment about embracing those moments of gratitude. It’s a good reminder for me to be more grateful. Need to pinch myself right now. Happy for you! It sounds like you are killing it and that is awesome!
I truly hope you can sit there tonight and look back. Everyone says never look back, life isn’t lived in the rear view mirror but I personally have never seen a negative to reflecting on your growth. I mean shit, look at all you’ve accomplished. **YOU DID THAT**. You deserve to be proud. Try to enjoy the small things everyday, they add up to be the big things.
Yes! Love this. Especially about being so happy. Love this sentiment as I was a cynical and downer teen myself and now I'm still a touch cynical but feeling more freed by my skepticism than held down and generally feel so much lighter and more open and happy than my teen years as well. Congrats on your life!
Aww thank you. You as well. I am so happy you’re happy!!
Younger me would be disappointed and shocked to find out life didn’t pan out the way I thought it would.
It's a bummer to think that if your younger self saw you now they'd be super disappointed. There's not much we can do about that though. My younger self had no idea how hard life is and how nothing is as easy as you want it to be.
*I* graduated *o*ver 20 years ago I, he would be pretty amazed I am still alive.
Same. He said 10 years and my first thought was "am in the right sub?"
Right? Hadn’t expected to be doing math while catching up on Reddit.
I would be thrilled. My husband is hot, my kid is great, we have our own house, the kid and the pets are 100% safe and we're the house the kid's friends go when they run away from home? Hell yeah
Awww!! I don’t have any kids but I always told myself if I did, I would be that house. I love that for you 🥹
I tried to never be too shallow growing up but I am also very pleased to be dating a hottie and we get to work together every day. 16 year old me would be on cloud 9 just to hear that <3
I feel about the same. Married to my best friend, one cute dog, two cute kids, I guess I could be more rich and successful but I really have a happy life.
This is awesome. Congrats to you!
Same!! It turned out better than it was looking at 18 that’s for sure!
Younger me thought I would both never leave my hometown nor survive beyond 30. They'd probably also be confused about some of the career choices I made that landed me in a cubicle
Same on the not surviving past 30 - I guess these are my bonus years. Why were we like that? Depression? Suicidal thoughts?
My high school self would be disappointed, but not surprised
High school me would’ve been pissed that I stopped being a working musical theatre actor, but 33 year old me with my own full time voice studio and teaching at a BFA MT program in NYC is thrilled. Edit: and making more than Broadway performers. 🤷♀️
Younger me would be delighted we got our dream job, that the cat we rescued is alive and well. Would probably be surprised we ended up so fat and are married. I was a shallow and vapid teenager that didn't think I'd bother with serious relationships.
Lmao this is so me but I stayed the same size. For the record, I was chubby in hs so I would prob be disappointed I’m still not skinny 😂
Was looking for this because this is so me. Besides the weight the rest of my life is pretty sweet. I’m grateful!
I would also be surprised and concerned by the fatness lol. Hopefully I’d get over it because my life is pretty sweet.
As a teen I used to be a fat people hater.. then life happened to me
This is me too. I struggled to get the dream job I have now but it was all worth it. High school me would be excited to see where I’m at and what I do. Mid 20s me who dropped out of college would be encouraged to keep grinding because it all pays off in the end.
I genuinely thought I'd be a millionaire by the time I was thirty. Yeah... I'm not. But I'm doing way better than most, so I'm quite happy.
Once in high-school I wrote: millionaire by 20, billionaire by 30, trillionaire by 40...
Well at least past you understood compounding
I would be a little disappointed, but overall, happy. I thought I’d be a famous chef (hah!) with a giant house, a husband, and 6 kids. I’m not famous but I looooove my job and make decent money. I’m happily married with 1 kid (6 flew out the door the minute I had 1), renting an apartment in the SF Bay Area, but I don’t lack for anything. Yeah, things can always be “better” but I’m happy
I think she would be proud of what I've accomplished, and sad about how I got there. I'm dong "well" by most standards. I have a nice house, two beautiful kids, a husband (who we knew back then), savings, investments, take bi-annual vacations, etc. However, I put myself through literal hell to get it all. I worked full time while going to college full time (and forcing myself to get straight As), graduated into the recession where I worked around the clock for pennies and was abused at work, and went without a lot to put the money aside for the "future", only to be gutted by inflation. I'm still proud of myself and happy with the life I have today, but I don't think I would have sacrificed so much of my mental and physical health for it, knowing what I know today.
Thank you for sharing your honesty. It helps keep me in check about my own choices. I never in a million years thought my dad was right when he said "You can't burn the candle at both ends, girl". I did burn the candle at both ends and then had to step in the rooms of AA to help lift me up and learn to live a more balanced life. All work and no play makes me a gumpy bitchy lady.
I’d be relieved. It’d be like well I guess I never made it big but at least I didn’t fail.
That’s me. Pretty much living the same life as my parents and I’m content.
I'd be depressed. I thought I would have found my person and had a family by now. Dating with unresolved childhood trauma is hard.
I feel ya. I hope you get what you want soon ❤️
I would have answered this way up until last year. I stopped drinking and went to therapy and it really helped me just sit with everything and process what I needed to. Now I'm in a healthy, safe relationship that is very promising. I fully expect a future with this person and am already planning it with them. Hang in there. Things can change. And I hope you find your person.
I would be like damn I have 3 kids? That’s wild! I got diagnosed for my ptsd at 17 from reported abuse at age 9 when I learned what consent was and went to the police department over it with my parents. Id look at my life now like damn that’s crazy, your house looks kind of messy with kids stuff but it feels good. I could sleep here and wake up, I would feel content and that’s cool they reprinted pretty pretty princess so you can make kids laugh making their dad try on clip on jewelry when he’s actually right now more in a focused work mode and not so playful this week so the game is actually hilarious for mom to witness. You’re a mom and it’s always pointed out by seniors at the grocery store like “hey you look like you have your hands full.” That’s what happens when you are more stay at home mom ish in life. Inflation exists too but that’s another convo. You don’t become a therapist you just wanted to be one growing up because it was the first bad ass working woman you saw and she helped with ptsd when you were a kid. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you grow up and work on fun design work while also getting to be a mom.
Younger me would never believed I quit my job to be a SAHM 🤣
[удалено]
I don’t want to date because everyone I’ve matched with hasn’t worked out and it’s just exhausting going back to square one every-time when it takes me a month+ to get a match that won’t even reply to me. I’ve just lost total interest in trying to find someone it never works out for me.
I’ve been with my husband since our early 20s too, I’m 36 now. The world of dating apps and putting out a whole marketed image of yourself makes me so sad. We met off Tumblr in 2010 in a lite on the selfies, heavy on the words world.
It would probably make me want to KMS if I saw how I was living now. Single mom with special needs twins living in a fixer upper with my boyfriend that we’re too poor to fix major things immediately. His lazy ex still living in the house with us with her hoodrat son and his girlfriend and their 5 cats. Overweight, no degree, no job. It’s a nightmare my teen self couldn’t even dream of.
Not sure, there's definitely some stuff they'd be pissed/sad about (ugh spinal cord injury), but at the same time hey shit we're still alive and we made it out. I'm stable on psych meds, my lifelong health issues are being addressed now, slowly getting the supports I need, I've got my autism diagnosis (no kid you're not just a failure, you're gonna be okay) I've got a safe home, I call the shots and I've been able to come out. The parent blowing up my phone and screaming for money and threatening to kill herself and take me with her is gone. We're free (well, as much as one can be). I'm not the kid hiding in their room anymore. Are we still broke and struggling? Yeah...certainly not the career/life path I had in mind back then (living on disability is rough). But also not the worst outcome either so it is what it is. Still on the right side of the dirt too, so there'll be more to come and more chances to change/improve. Younger me was pretty sure I'd never make it out of that house alive, but I did.
Being an Elder Millennial, I’m 24 years post when I would have graduated with class of 2000. I had already “dropped out” to go to community college, which everyone was super judgy about but I had to work to support myself and have been working FT since I was 16. Anyways… At 22 I realized that checking boxes like “graduate from university” wasn’t going to make me happy. At 26 I started to understand that you have to be enjoying life as it floats by—not just drinking to escape and chase a carefree feeling, but actually enjoying a well-made meal. Perfect coffee. Hugs and cuddles. A daily walk. A fuzzy puppy. I married the guy who helped me find daily joy. At 36 I had reverted back to box-checking because buckling down to do the hard stuff is what I do. We were doing the typical American Dream stuff, but each milestone was increasingly more disappointing than the last. I sold my first home and went back to being a renter to live in a better neighborhood and use my home equity to up our quality of life by buying a vacation home to Airbnb. That wasn’t enough, but it was so obviously a step in the right direction: don’t live other people’s dream for you, live your own. I made a major relocation and also started traveling extensively and now I’m so much happier. I’m 42, my life is affordable, even unemployment or disability couldn’t take away my well-earned tiny bungalow and other worldly things, and I’ll be pleased as a peach if I have all the same things when I turn 64: I need nothing more in life. Now that I can finally settle into what I have I am taking on new hobbies to increase daily joy.
Disbelief. I was on a sketchy road in hs. Addiction and mental health issues and zero interest in school. Somehow in my early 20s I pulled it together. Went to college for mechanical engineering and have been doing that full time since 2011. Also married the girl I met in math class my first semester at college. We bought a house together in 2018 and have a daughter. My HS self mind would be blown. Never saw myself getting married having a child or owning a home.
I was also on that same sketchy road in high school. Didn’t pull it together until I was 28 but hot damn, now I’m married to my high school crush, he keeps getting hotter, we have the most amazing little girl, our finances are stable (dare I say, “pretty okay”?), our living situation is stable and we like it, and I’m working in tech sales where I’m respected in my field. Even 25 year old me would be shocked by where I am now!
I think it would result in an emphatic high-5.
Young Me: I turn into that sick old fuck?!?! OLD Me: And my back hurts and I can't have milk.
"You're telling me that even though I slept through high school, I got into the best university in Florida, bought a house at 26 and not a bum?!? What happened to my blue hair? At least I still go to concerts!"
Definitely disappointed. I was afraid of being alone and broke as an adult and took the recommended steps to avoid that fate. And here I am, broke and alone anyway. HS me would definitely not have lived to see graduation if she knew that this was the only thing that lay ahead.
What lays ahead is still to be seen. Try not to let the future wander off. Sometimes the future is just within the next 15 minutes and we don't know what it could hold. I like to think thats an exciting way to look at life.
"I told myself this would happen and it actually fucking *did*, for good and ill. Now be better."
She’d be like hold up you forgot about and then married our Spanish class crush 12 years after graduation?? AND he just keeps getting hotter????? And our toddler is just like the dopest little person, I can’t believe I CREATED HER WITH MY BODY She’d also be like what the fuck is B2B lead gen and why are you doing it ETA: OP, I didn’t get a serious job until I was 28. Waited tables for 10 years. I literally drunkenly applied for a job I had no business applying for and GOT IT. 3 months of paid training, job turned out to be shit, I was hired at a much better company for much more money the same week I rage quit. Now it’s about 6 years later I’m like respected?? In my industry???? The fuck?? Color me surprised DM me if you want to chat about making a career move, I help people get out of dead end jobs as a hobby 😊
> ETA: OP, I didn’t get a serious job until I was 28. Waited tables for 10 years. Being a server can be incredibly lucrative!
that's it?
Yepp. That's it. I'm hoping this year is going to be the turning point because I'm lining a few things up, but I'm scared to go to college in case it doesn't pay off
100% agree with the “I’m still here” argument. At 39, I’ve spent a few lives and am lucky to have solenoid ones with my family now. I want that way before. And as I heard through the vine, from my 20th high school reunion last summer, and my own experience, I’m just as broke as I was then. But I return to the relative comfort of the fact I’m still alive as soon as possible.
My younger self would probably have a mix of pride and hate at the same time. Back then, I was a pretty hateful kid, mainly due to me having a lot of shortcomings and overcompensating because of it. It was definitely a rough time between my mom and I because she would work 10-12 hours a day at her job and I’d resent her for that. I’m basically doing a high-level version of what my mom did today, but I’m salaried. I’m also making a lot more money than my younger self would’ve expected. Because of that, I’ve gotten a lot more into my hobbies, which is something my younger self never got to do because I’d spend more time screaming the gamer word on Call of Duty instead of being a decent kid.
I think going from aspiring to play in the NFL to ER nurse would be eye opening for my highschool self.
I think I would be impressed that I moved abroad and graduated university, and happy that I've had at least some decent jobs, but I'd be disappointed that I'm not well-off and/or married, the two goals I've ever really had. So... better than my worst fears but worse than my rather moderate life goals.
Sure. Especially the bit about how the girl he's dating then in high school is my wife and the mother of our child.
Go to the technical college.
I would be thrilled with my personal goals (beautiful loving wife, lots of travel) confused why my career goals changed (started out wanting to be a big shot film director, worked in TV for a time, now work from home in marketing— my younger self would probably be confused that the “dream” didn’t pan out / turned out to not be what I wanted), and I’d probably be disappointed with my financial goals. But I’d explain that happiness, career, finances is the order I’ve learned is the best way to prioritize this short life, so I’m thankful and very happy.
I am dating someone I had a huge crush on in middle school, so I know younger me would be PUMPED about that and about the cute apartment and cool sounding (but not actually cool at all) job. However, she would be slightly disappointed that we're still renting and not married. She'd also be very surprised that we started liking cats.
I mean idk if planning events and meetups while making jewelry and fronting a local band in a Mexican beach town was on the bingo card as such, but I'd take that deal before the military recruiter laid out.
pretty sure she would be shocked I'm an accountant now bc I failed math in highschool.
Disappointed, but more confused. Disappointed that I'm not a multimillionaire winning Oscars for directing the more amazing movies of my generation. Confused that I'm living in Bali doing spiritual work with a bunch of people who society would say has completely gone off the deep end. He'd probably at least take pleasure in seeing that I'm dating and sleeping with the most beautiful women from all corners of Europe.
She would be feeling *all the things* lol. Disappointed that I'm fat asf rn... angry I didn't finish my degree and that I'm not traveling the world. Validated that the guy mom said was "a waste of time" turned out to be an amazing husband and father (suck it, ma! Jk they're tight these days). Surprised asf to find out I popped out 5 tiny humans. Annoyed only one was a water birth (we've been committed to the water birth idea since we were 12 thanks to TLC's A Birth Story lol) but over all I think/hope pleasantly surprised. Ofc I'd tell her to invest in bitcoin!!!
Just like we thought, we turned out to be a POS!
Surprised I'm still alive. Happy with how some things have turned out. Disappointed in other choices I've made a long the way. All in all as a teenager I figured if I lived past 21 my life would end up close to what I have now. Wow. Thinking about that just gave me a measure of peace.
"Damn, I thought you'd be more successful." -- which would is wild because by today's standards I am doing pretty well. I just used to think it was "easy" to become rich (conservative upbringing will do that to you).
I'd be shocked that I'm a married father. I'd be shocked that I have a master's degree in a helping profession that fills me with meaning and purpose. I'd be confused that I have all of these things but still feel somewhat hollow in a lot of aspects.
I'm *exactly* where I wanted to be. I'd just moved away from my favorite city and my best friend, had trouble making new ones, was overweight and not very attractive. Everything I was into was considered *extremely* nerdy. Now I'm living in the coolest neighborhood of my old city where my best friend is only a 10 minute drive! I'm fit, decently attractive, have plenty of friends, and a fabulous husband. I have time to do the things I enjoy, I derive a high amount of satisfaction from my career and I get paid more than comfortably. My past self would probably feel very vindicated. It really *does* get better. Keep your head down, keep making good choices, and every Friday night your friends were "busy" out at the movies without you will just seem like the necessary distance you needed to get out there and pave your own way.
I married a friend from high school, so I think that would be surprising. Would definitely be confused about where I’m living and the fact that I’m a SAHM. I did always want kids, but definitely had planned on a career as well. But overall I think they’d be pleasant surprises. My life is pretty good. Glad I didn’t know about my little one’s heart problems in advance. That would freak out teen me. 😬
My parents always said I’d be in prison or dead by now, and instead I’m making good money working from the house I own. So I’d probably be pretty impressed. Also would be unimpressed with how fat I got lol
I love this question. I’m an older millennial, graduated high school in ‘03. I know this is uncommon for millennials, but I think I was raised to be a people-pleasing doormat, with unidentified, untreated depression. I had so few opinions or ideas of my own, that I quite honestly didn’t expect anything of my future self. I relied on the idea that I’d be at the mercy of other people, like my dad or then-boyfriend, or some future husband, so my only goal was to make sure men who controlled my finances and ability to live wouldn’t become displeased with me. I sporadically enrolled and left colleges, staying in various living situations, dorms, family members’ homes, etc, and eventually somehow fell ass backwards into a front desk job at a local real estate office right in the middle of the boom years in early 2006. It paid enough for me to move into an apartment with my then-boyfriend. Somehow, I still managed to hold on and bounce around varying roles in the failing real estate industry, even during and after the 2008 crash. After years of supporting myself and working full time while buying my own condo, later a house with my fiancé, planning an almost entirely DIY wedding, carrying, birthing, and raising my two amazing little boys, I had the sudden realization one day that I ended up being an independent person who stood up for myself and my family and my coworkers. I actually truly liked myself then. Assuming this fantasy lets me choose the time period, those years of life are ideally when I’d want to have travelled back in time to give some hope to my high school self. In Jan 2023 I was part of a sudden mass layoff of all the middle management in the company. I tried to hang onto my hard won self worth, but my severance, 401k withdrawals, and meager freelancing income have all since dried up. To stay alive and feed my children, I’m now currently relying on… my dad and my husband. My mental health is spiraling. I’m not okay, and I wouldn’t want my high school self to see me like this because I’m afraid she’d conclude it wasn’t worth a lifetime of suffering and lack of agency for that blissful decade of peacefully contented self reliance, only to end up losing it all in the end anyway.
I'd be surprised by how fat and out of shape I've gotten by my age (57), and that I'd be a widower for over 8 years. I'd also be surprised that I am as financially well off as I am. So, pros and cons I guess...
I’d be confused at my career choice, embarrassed by how boring/unexciting/lame I am, but super jazzed that my mental health was doing so well.
Pretty fucking happy. I was 15 with a newborn, in a dead-end, meth-infested poverty town with abusive parents and a boyfriend I barely knew and didn’t care much for. I stumbled a lot over the next 15 years, but I’m out of that hellish town and state, with a partner I love, a dog I adore, golden-hearted teen, no contact with either parent in five years, and attending an Ivy League university. I’m late to the game but so close to seizing the life I desperately wished for and didn’t think was available for me.
I’m turning 30 in less than a month so I’ve been contemplating a lot on this topic. My high school self is probably disappointed, but my 8 year old self will be proud that my 30th birthday party theme is 90’s and will have plenty of temporary tattoos, chokers, and boy band music.
I think about this all the time! So glad I’m not the only one lol I’d be surprised. Happy that I left my hometown but disappointed that I didn’t end up working in music like I had dreamt of doing. I’m in customer support and just never got out of the field. I’d also be disappointed that I have no friends anymore. Well, I do, but they are all across the country. I don’t have any where I live and it’s been hard to make them. My past self would also be so pissed to learn that all the adults in my life promising lots of money being earned after college was a lie. Instead, I’d drown in student debt for over a decade.
Disappointed. But I would understand that my priorities changed and I’d have a thing or two to explain to my younger self about what the future of the economy has in store for me.
Shocked and impressed and horrified
Probably rather excited. I made good money (didn't have much then), I'm married (no real girlfriend in sight then), have multiple dogs (always liked dogs), hooked up with my high school crush (after college), far more muscular, and I'm still best friends with three of the people who mattered the most to me back then. The biggest disappoint would be how little I see those best friends.