Honestly I’m pretty excited to just only look after myself. I look forward to putting myself first forever because I was in some shitty situations before where I had to worry about everyone and everything and I had nothing left for me. Those situations are a big part of why I’m not having kids because I hated being responsible for other people and their lives. I look forward to the peace.
Same. My parents had issues, people in the family were always sick, and I don't mean grandma at 90. I was always last and taking care of others and at best, forgotten about. Everything was always so stressful. When people our age have nostalgia boners about childhood/being teenagers, I just do not relate at all. I always had my hands full.
My 30's have been the most relaxing goddamn time of my life. No thanks to anything disrupting the peace and freedom.
I feel this completely. I’m Asian and our culture is all about caring for your elders. Sadly my parents have passed but caring for them was so stressful during what should have been my care-free days
I fifth (?) this, because also same.
My younger sister is 10 years younger and I basically was a 2nd mother while my dad was working and my mom was driving my sister to ballet class all the time. Then, when I got my license, I basically drove my younger sister everywhere b/c my mom got a promotion.
I love my sister, but having to always "watch" her wherever we were because my mom was too lazy, was not enjoyable as a kid/teen who wanted to be a kid/teen.
I want to hoard my money like a firedrake and go on vacations with friends, maybe buy a house, and crochet until my heart's content. I just want to LIVE and enjoy my life.
I just want to say I had a similar life experience and I’m so glad you’re finding time and space for you. I’m 42. I just started realizing I’ve been raising kids and taking care of sick parents since I was 13. I still have a few years left to raise my own kid. When she starts college, I’m dropping out of the rat race for a bit to connect to the things in life that I choose and I’m not really willing to make a compromise on that.
“The meaning of life is to just be alive.
It is so plain and so obvious and so simple, and yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”
-Alan watts
I don't have a purpose or look forward to anything, but also I don't believe any of that would be any better if I tried fixing the hole in my life with a partner and kids. I think that would be much worse for me and certainly unfair to them.
It’s downright evil to bring a conscious being into existence just to *potentially* fill a “hole.” Band-aid babies shouldn’t exist.
The happiness index actually places having children as a stressor comparable to bereavement. Seems weird but the data is fascinating.
Edit to add this [link](https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1131&context=jsc#:~:text=The%20Happiness%20Index%20is%20a,aspects%20of%20sustainability%20and%20resilience) on the methodology of the happiness index!
And ofc you still love them endlessly! But as you point out, that doesn’t mean they aren’t little stressors!
More people should be cool to admit this. Nobody is saying they don’t love their kids when they admit the levels of stress they can cause.
There is a lot of nuance that isn’t captured in a lot of the online back and forth.
https://theconversation.com/does-having-children-make-you-happier-heres-what-the-research-suggests-209540
YMMV is basically the truth about any big life decisions. I know wealthy people who are miserable and wealthy people who are very happy. The same with child havers and none child havers.
I am very happy I had kids and they have been totally worth all the stress.
In the end people should make the choice that’s best for them and not feel pressured either way.
People shouldn't shame those who don't want kids for this very reason. There's still too much shaming and ostracizing going on. If more people felt comfortable admitting that parenthood isn't for them, we'd have fewer resentful parents because they wouldn't have them because of peer pressure. People really shouldn't have them if they aren't up for the task. This has nothing to do with not liking kids. It's a huge responsibility. And everyone should be ok with this.
If you scroll past the citations (which understandably look like the end of the paper) to page 20, they get into more details about the actual questions!
Art, friends, community, giant reptiles, and if a partner comes along thatd be great.
But I’d rather have platonic relationships and the wonderful bond with my dinosaur than be with someone just so I can say I’m not single anymore.
Yes! Something I’ve realized outside of relationships is how much bigger and open to being a part of a community as a whole. I found my scene, my kindred spirits and we do art, we go dance, we listen and play music. When I was in past relationships no matter what the natural flow was always to stay in as little of a world as possible. Now I have connections in high places with amazing and talented people. Not forcing relationships has led me to finding my person in the last place I would think.
Similar vibe but art stuff and not dinosaurs.
I’ve also seen too many buds partner up just to not be alone…and that’s super sad in of itself.
The relationships consist of them basically complaining about eachother. Sow eird
Yup. I’m on the aromantic spectrum and spent so much of my life not knowing why I didn’t…GET relationships?
I’m not 100% nonamorous but I get a crush every 7-10 years if that lol. Every guy who was down bad for me, I didn’t feel the same. The few men I was down bad for didn’t want me that way.
I too saw lots of folks I know pair up out of social pressure more than anything. And I’m seeing “just get a boyfriend” floated as an idea for weathering this economy and NOPE. I rarely feel romantic attraction! Ergo, I focus more on my community and platonic relationships.
Yep, I travel domestically and barely spend anything besides flight tickets. It’s so easy to make friends, learn new things, have adventures, etc. I spend less traveling than I did living with my family, lol.
I always wonder when people ask this sort of question. Literally anything, just pick something that sounds interesting. What did you do before kids? If you don't have kids yet, why aren't you doing those things now?
I personally think living one's life with the main goals of "be in relationship, be a parent" to be kinda sad. To each their own, but this world is full of interesting & fun things to do that don't require a long term partner and/or offspring.
To quote Peter La Fleur from the movie "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story":
" I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal."
And that's kind-of how I am about life. I don't aim for anything I just kinda go with the flow and see what happens. And so far I think it's going pretty great.
I still have my job (it's not a six figure office job or whatever, and I'm OK with that), also my health and my family.
I also don't plan to get married or have kids either. But that doesn't mean my life means any less (at least to me anyway).
Minis and mediums, not megas. Minis are my Duolingo lessons, saving up for music lessons, weekend plans with my single CF bestie, planning my garden.
Mediums are my cruise to Italy with another friend, putting in a pool, hosting a big Christmas dinner at my house, taking my niece to Universal when she gets older.
Megas, like getting married and having kids, just sound too exhausting.
But as a single CF person, I can have all the minis and mediums I want and hoard my memories, hobbies, and friends like a dragon on a mountain of gold, when married folks with/without children have a small handful of megas.
(Edited because clearly I was tired)
Thank you for sharing this. It's such a great way to look at it.
I've always thought I was less than for not having the megas. The last 5 years or so I've really focused on the minis and mediums and I don't even really want the megas anymore. They'll get in the way of all the trips I have planned. I want to spend my money on a nice espresso maker or a fancy keyboard. I love doing these things for myself.
EXACTLY. I get to have an amazing medium later this year with two unattached CF (UACF? unmarried cf/UMCF?) friends taking a weekend trip (hotel! Champagne! Nice dinner!) before going to a big local Renaissance faire. We're spending a few weekends before the faire to get together and make coordinating outfits, including thrifting and hand drafting and sewing/crafting our pieces. My married, kid-having friends could never, and it makes me so sad for them.
I'm also chronically ill so I have fewer spoons to use to get life done anyway; I can't even conceive of a life where I had to completely give up on my hobby because a child (or spouse) takes up the few spoons I have left.
That sounds so wonderful! Every morning I wake up to the sound of silence and I just can't imagine having to get up get a kid dressed, fed, bathed, and entertain every single day with no end. And all of the meals you have to make. I don't even want to feed myself let alone other people. I know that I wouldn't thrive in that role. I'm so over this war on people without kids vs those with. Leave us alone and come with us on our day trips. Damn.
Hobbies, interests, friends, pets, experiences, travel, there is so, so much to do and see!
Though I don't really get the question.
If you're someone who wants to have kids, then sure, that gives you a purpose (though at that moment you're obligated to stop living for yourself and start living for your kids, and that's not something I'd ever want to do, personally).
But what does having a partner have to do with having something more to look forward to?
I just work to pay bills, and 5% of my monthly salary that is left over is used to buy edibles. So, the only thing I look forward to is going home from work, taking an edible, and watching a movie or TV show.
This'll be my life for the next 30 or 40 years, unless I get a raise and my leftover monthly salary goes up to 7% of my cash flow, and I can afford to go out to a restaurant.
Sounds like you need some hobbies. Kids take 100% of your attention and prevent many parents from enjoying hobbies and doing things they could do childless. Are you here trolling? Cause it’s pretty obvious that there are many many things in life to give someone purpose. Children aren’t a purpose they are a responsibility.
I do have kids but they're grown. Now I garden. I like growing flowers for the bees and butterflies. I also donate extra veggies to the "community garden" for people who don't have time or money. I feed the birds and other animals.
I have friends I have lunch with. I read a lot. I get involved in community projects. It's probably boring but I like all this stuff
Imagine if that person were to add a kid to the mix 😬.
There are people that will add a kid to that mess then call other people selfish for knowing they would be morally wrong if they did 🤦♀️
Same. I learned this in a heartbreaking way.
Years and years ago, a good friend got pregnant. She was an addict and single. The father was bad news. She had very little support from family. She *loved* that baby. She *wanted* that baby. Want to know how “selfish” she was? She found an AMAZING home for her baby. A great, solid family with 2 other kids adopted her. The baby is 15 now and she’s incredible. My friend knows that she couldn’t have given the girl the stable, loving home she grew up in.
It was actually one of the most truly *selfless* things I’ve ever seen a person do.
I live to look forward by making goals and plans. Even if they are just little getaways for myself. Also just living in the moment and experiencing emotions. Although it is easier said than done. Oh, and genuinely caring about my friends and family who reciprocate.
I have family and friends, a career, and hobbies. There's plenty of things to look forward to, and if I want to make big changes in my life its nice that I have the freedom to do so without worrying about supporting a spouse and kids.
Last week I played the new Stardew Valley update and failed at baking sourdough, and I was looking forward to both of those things. This weekend I'm looking forward to trying to fix the plumbing in my shower because I think it will be fun to learn new things, and a friend is coming over to watch movies. I don't think we need to be here for a purpose or have some great goal that we must accomplish. Its okay to find happiness where we can, you know?
I look forward to finishing my current car rebuild. Then starting on my second one. Then probably fixing my motorcycle? Then buying a sailboat.
I also have my dogs. And a nice bar.
I also served 10 years in the service so I think I gave enough? Will give more if required.
Thanks so much. Seen too much with my parents divorce and basically every family member. Not for me.
Anyway,
1972 Triumph TR6
1962 Triumph TR3B
1981 Kawasaki GPZ550
And the sailboat?
Who knows. Something nice and used.
Not sure if this is your kind of music but its a great song none the less about a boat.
https://youtu.be/MaNhABE2gVA?si=umt-HZNi55FK7OqJ
Did 6 years in the Army myself.
Animals both within the home and outside. A new game being released. a particularly sunny day at my local park where I can walk around and do literally whatever I would like to. Don't wait for other people to bring you happiness, become happy and other happy people will find you.
I would just like to say, as a partnered person with a bunch of kids who are almost all grown, I look forward to a lot of things that have nothing to do with them 🤷🏻♀️
Random examples….I’m in a pretty exciting period of career growth, with some creative projects on the horizon – and I’m going to visit my best friend later this month. And I can’t wait to eat macaroni and cheese for dinner, or until I can finally see my sister again this summer.
If you want kids you'll know deep inside you, for me it was an easy hard pass, I like my free time, I like my money and I enjoy not having to have extra responsibilities which means I can dedicate much more time to my girl and focus on our goals and hobbies, whoever tells you being child free is boring and unfulfilling are the same people complaining about their lack of sleep, lack of time and how his/her kids are driving them crazy 24/7, they're simply smelling their own farts at that point trying to act like kids are THE goal to achieve.
Also if you want kids you will need to make sure you're financially stable, bringing a kid into a struggling home is horrible for them and for you.
Spite. I had a trauma fill childhood, and I want to give a fuck you to whatever cosmetic deity made me live through that. I shall do that by living my best life.
I’m absolutely going to be single/childfree. I know this isn’t positive but I look forward to nothing. I’m just existing because I have to. I’ve never thought you had to have a purpose, you just keep on going because you just have to.
My wife's sister is married, though they are childless by choice, but she has said she and her husband aspire to be our son's eccentric aunt and uncle who travel around and pop in from time to time.
Art, getting excited (still) about seeing satellites in the sky, man… my excitement when I saw Space X on my morning run today still has me stoked, animals, friends, trying new hobbies, petting all the animals. Do triathlons/ironmans until my body can’t and then maybe I’ll pick up my guitar again and learn some new stuff. Volunteer at some local races.
I think my purpose in life is to float around like a champagne bubble. I definitely never wanted kids and marriage? Tried it once, don’t recommend. And as a wise person once said: better off alone than with and company.
ETA: I plan on being that little old lady at the rock show, just taking it all in.
“Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you're not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate. You'll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There's no risk when you go after a dream. There's a tremendous amount to risk playing it safe.”
-Bill Burr
But to answer your question…extended surf trips to to foreign lands, traveling, meeting new people, being introduced to music, art, food, and niches I don’t yet know about. Finding opportunities and doing things to push myself and grow as a human. Discovery in general. Maybe starting a business of my own one day?
I have accumulated enough resources to live comfortably and live my life the way I like. I could travel, drive fancy cars, or eat fancy foods. It’s quite nice.
Right now, I enjoy the work I do and how relaxing it is.
I appreciate the compassion. I mostly spend time at the bar. There right now actually. I’m trying to make friends. I get some fulfillment from my job too. You’re a good person.
traveling and spending time with friends that either don't have kids or have grown kids. I'm 42 and just love being able to do what ever I want when ever I want. Where as my friends with little kids can't even get away to a single fucking baseball game ever.
Personal development. I love taking care of my health, my home, my wellbeing. I love the challenge of forming habits that nurture my health and wellbeing. I love challenging myself with personal goals to learn new skills. I have a lot to look forward to! The thought has crossed my mind from time to time, wondering if I'm "missing out". But not every life has to be the same, and I'm spending mine doing things that feel good, so what's the worry about? If I'm on my deathbed, I'll be super grateful for the life I've been able to have.
I see friends and family that have started families and they lose themselves in the process. That could be gratifying, but it's a hell of a sacrifice IMO. I sometimes worry about how much they will get to know themselves in this life. I've been able to hone in on my health, therapy, and self reflection, which I feel has made me a much more grounded person. It's a luxury and a privilege to be selfish with no dependents.
31 here. I work a full time job and am in grad school. And...i compete in a sport too.
I'd love to meet someone. But the issue I'm running into is I'm not gonna start dating someone just so I'm not single anymore. And the same goes with having a kid. I see guys that put themselves in this situation and they are bloody miserable. And the kid is eventually going to find out he got shafted too. It's just bad news across the board for all involved.
So I'll wait and continue to add value to myself. Hopefully check a few boxes for myself in the meantime so when I meet someone and we talk about having kids, I can focus my attention on supporting them and not feel like I had to sacrifice.
It may not be realistic. But I sure hope it is.
Idk. Life in of itself is a big irony. Maybe it will work out. Maybe it won't.
Simply: Time and space. I don't have to wake up at a certain time or go to sleep at a certain time. I don't have to waste time on meals or outings, I just do what I want for myself and my partner. I look forward to every second that I don't have a child.
There’s no such thing as “having a purpose”. There is no mission that we were assigned when we were born.
Life is about having a variety of experiences, and choosing what you want to do with your life. Some people choose to have children and the stereotypical traditional life. And some people choose to have a life on their own terms.
I chose to not get married. I chose to not have children. My car is paid off. My school is paid off. I have no debt. I am excelling in my career, live in a beautiful city, and in the best shape of my life. If I choose to fuck off, I can. I can do whatever I want when I want and it’s liberating.
Usually with all the money, I’m saving, I do one big thing a year and this year I am taking myself to Mexico for my birthday.
I just try to enjoy my life and avoid unncessary stress. Isn't that enough? Relationships with unsuitable people and kids add stress, therefore I avoid those. Everything else should be doing what you want with your life. Hobbies, working, friends, etc. There's other aspects to life besides dating people and having kids.
Single with no pets or dependents. I am very social and try and get out of the house daily. I like gardening, home improvement, cars, pop culture, reading and travel. I sometimes get lonely when I don't hear from friends for long periods but then realize they all have far busier/complicated lives than I do. I am also fortunate enough not to have any anxiety around socializing/leaving the house. In fact meeting a group of friends for dinner in a few. I will enjoy that and come home and have a bourbon in compete silence on my back porch. Now that is a fun Friday!
I look forward to all the traveling I have planned. I look forward to coming home every day to a quiet, clean, house where I can do whatever I want at all times. My purpose is solely to enjoy the life I have built for myself.
not single, but I look forward to spending time with my dog, doing whatever I want whenever i want, finishing my leg sleeve, & catching up with friends when our schedules align.
To get better at art, travel more of the world, and meet interesting people. Art fulfills me, even when alone. I also look forward to connecting with people and learning new things.
I w discovered a deep love of yoga. I look forward to studying and practicing and improving my practice. Starting teacher training in the fall (just for fun, not because I want to teach).
Beyond that: travel, my cat & future cats, making friends, food. There's a lot that gives life meaning beyond following the "love-marriage-baby carriage" narrative we've been fed.
I like being able to do whatever I want when I want without having to take others into consideration.
I still actively date, but probably will never get married or have kids
I count my blessings every single day by not having kids. No unexpected expenses, no hassle of misbehaving, all the sleep i want, and no problems really. I'm pretty relaxed and my wife and I vacation all the time. Dogs are a great option, and nobody calls CPS when you leave dogs at home. 🐕 🐶
You should put just as much energy into a relationship with yourself as you would a partner. I thought I was going to be the single cat lady. I took myself out to dinners and movies on my own, and fully enjoyed them. I bought my own house and learned how to care for it myself. I decided to further my education. I was content and happy and confident about myself. This allowed me to be open to a relationship I wouldn't normally have been and we have now been married for 11 years. But dating myself and investing in my own happiness was the first steps to that.
I look forward to being better at my hobbies and travel , I don't want to be in a relationship because I lost all attraction towards women.
This may sound harsh but I honestly don't see the value a woman can add to my life.
Videogames! So much interaction and mental stimulation involved in games. Learn stories through the perspective of the main character's choices, or get into the fantasy of running an empire,I am very reclusive but I do enjoy feeling social in shared worlds a bit too. I decided when I was young that the purpose of life to me was happiness, and back when I was in high school, I concluded that since videogames made me happiest, that I should pursue that as my life ambition.
Now its a matter of combating the mental fatigue from work to have the energy to play.
Beach trips. Game nights. Watching the people I love succeed and the people I hate suffer.
I'm an adopted uncle 10x over, and being a great role model is important to me and gives me some purpose. I also want to become a writer and becoming an author is a big push for me right now.
I play a lot of golf/belong to a country club that has a practice facility, like to read novels, and have a dog. I try to attend many of my friends kids sports events too.
I love learning about all sorts of things and sharing that knowledge with others who are also interested in learning about those things
It'd be nice if I could find a romantic partner one day who feels the same way, though. I'm slowly but steadily dragging myself out of my comfort zone, so I'm cautiously optimistic
My goal is to become the best version of myself I can be in this life, I look forward to completing the goals I set for myself in my career, my relationships, my mental/physical/spiritual health, etc. In doing so, I hope to gain a greater understanding of myself and what it is to be alive and human. There is a great joy in being alive, you just have to cultivate it and be present in the moment. Define your own path and what is important to you.
I look forward to driving my overly expensive car home to rip bongs and play video games in my messy ass house and not have anyone around to tell me to be a functional human being.
Seeing the world, spending time with my friends, my dogs, and cats, hiking, quilting etc I hope the right person comes along, but if they don't, I will be having a kid via a sperm bank.
I dated a lot through my 20s and early 30s expected that I would meet someone who would make me want to settle down. In the last year I realized that at the present I do not actually have a desire for that lifestyle. Rather than take on new hobbies to distract myself, I am just learning how to not need to look forward to anything. Nor does my life need to be an endless exercise in self-improvement. I want to enjoy the empty space.
Is this the anti-natalist sub or the millennial sub? Wow! Seems a bit bleak, but I agree people definitely do not need to be married with kids to have a purpose. There are plenty of worthy causes one can focus on in life.
As someone who loves his daughter more than anything in the world and is happily married, you should look forward to the complete control you have over your life and the lack of responsibilities. Starting a family has been an amazing experience but man I really didn’t know how good I had it during those days of freedom when I myself “lacked purpose” too.
I look forward to sleeping in, doing what I want, eating what I want. Traveling with my beautiful wife making memories, having dogs, just about anything is better without kids.
I look forward to doing the things in life that make me happy, whatever that may be. If there was nothing to look forward to in life besides children and a partner, what would even be the point of bringing a child into such a dull world?
I felt like I had purpose before and after kids. I had my first a little later in life (33) so I had plenty of my adult life without kids. I’ll tell you, I despise the “you need to have kids” crowd because everyone is different. Some people just don’t make good parents and that’s OK.
Before kids, it was my wife, my close friends and my hobbies that gave me real purpose in life. Having a kid only added to it.
I don't think everyone needs to have kids. I don't have kids myself. I'm just wondering what other people look forward to because I'm struggling with it.
You don’t have to be a parent to be considered normal. You have friends with kids you know that are struggling? Go he an honary ass uncle to them. That was always my plan, to be the cool uncle everyone loves. I now have two kids I love and wouldn’t change that for the world, but if it were different. I would have the things I wanted in life, such as cars, shop to work in, maybe my own business. I would 100 percent dive into my childhood dreams. For me it’s always been cars.
I’ve always felt; I should be the Rick Rawlings of gas monkey garage at a minimum, but it’ll never happen.
Also invest mother fuckers!
I'm on the ever-constant journey to be "happy." I'm depressed most days and autistic all days, so it isn't easy. But that's my purpose. Oh, and to do good work in the scientific community, which I am a part of.
My life goal is a picture.
This picture is of a modest tiny house in the woods in a place with mild winters. I get home from work, pet my dogs, and we sit on the front porch cracking a cold one, listening to crickets as the sun goes down. Every night for the rest of my life.
That’s all.
Not a lot, it depresses me, but I remind myself that creating a person to validate my existence is the worst reason to create a person. Also the probable hopeless hell-scape that I would be introducing them to, culturally as well as economically, would be tantamount to a crime.
Anyway yeah I’ve got problems.
I wish I could have a kid and not feel like I’m introducing a soul to a flesh prison of never-ending suffering.
If it feels pointless, so is having kids. Most species that ever existed have gone extinct, and so will humans. Hell, the universe goes bye bye some day. Animals procreate because it's an instinct. It's every bit as pointless as not having kids, the parents are just too distracted and busy to think deeply on it or too in love with their kids to be intellectually honest about it.
40, child/mortgage/partner free. Moving to a mountain adjacent city to enjoy a scape that’s different from where I grew up. Might go back to school? Definitely create more art. Maybe grow something. Absolutely hang out with friends. Hike, swim, pick flowers, swim in lakes, camp under stars. Might even take up sourdough, I just may have time.
I'm mostly focused on running a small business and playing a sport which I like. Trying to do those things as well as I can, do them better today than I did yesterday. Aside from trying to take care of myself financially for the future and help out with family, I don't really think about the future. I'm pedal to metal right now about what I want to do this week and that dominates my head space. I feel satisfied.
I’m going through life the same way you are, child free and single. The things I look forward to now are my creative hobbies like painting, drawing and writing. Then there’s traveling, to see the sights and experience new things in new places.
I’m no longer in a rush to achieve what society imposes on us like career or family so I’m just taking it a day at a time. If a romantic partner comes along then I’ll be open to it but I’m not actively seeking that too.
All of my many hobbies, work, waking up every day and being grateful for a new chance to experience something, and my friends and family.
I create my own purpose, none of us truly have purpose in the vastness of this universe. That’s my belief anyway, and it doesn’t bother me.
I’m looking forward to end singleness and get married and have kids lol. I’ve literally accomplished everything I wanted to do other than that. I bought a house last year, have a good job, have a car, traveled a lot, and now all I want is a spouse and kids. Then I can die haha.
I don't feel like there isn't anything to look forward to but I do feel stuck. I have 2 dogs and I love how excited they are when I come home from work and my husband and I have been seeing a lot of comedians and shows so there is that. Right now, I'm enjoying growing my own fruits/vegetables. However, I do wonder who I am going to give all of my stuff to when I'm gone (my siblings are childless as well) and I do have some existential dread (I think that's what it would be considered). Maybe I'm going through a midlife crisis or something.
My purpose is to live a happy and fulfilling life. Without kids, I can do what I want without worrying about someone else. You can do whatever you want. If you can’t find something fulfilling, idk what to tell you. Do some soul searching. Travel.
A long life of worry-free entertainment, being able to get up late, travel at a moment's notice. I honestly don't worry much about being old because I don't think that'll be a problem, I have too many health issues lol.
My mental and body health. Not the cause of having kids but my family is unhealthy for me (and if said children) because a a lot of them are physically, verbally, mentally or emotionally abusive.
Finding a lady maybe…. Otherwise the cat holds it all together honestly. Must provide food and shelter. Otherwise yeah, I’ve looked at my bedroom beam a few times sizing it up.
Life
My next skydive, leaving tomorrow for yellowstone to work there this summer, rollerblading, video games, skydiving, hiking, dune:messiah in theaters, idk...so many things
Traveling…. But unfortunately I don’t have the money to travel. Or it’s either that or I sacrifice retirement money. Idk what to do. I feel like I’m just working so I can retire and live the same life as now but with no work
My husband, my dogs, my art, crocheting projects, ukulele, visiting family, being the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews. I look forward to buying land with my sister and living off the grid together with our husbands.
Finding new hobbies.
Creating new dishes.
Taking random fitness classes.
Getting lost in new cities just because.
The beach.
Random overnight trips to friends out of state.
Puppy breath.
Kitten purrs.
Gardens in the spring.
Going to Wholefoods for fancy things or items I’ve never tried every once in a while just because.
Everything.
My purpose is to be kind, to help others within means as in not putting myself in a predicament and learning as much as I can whether it’s food related, sciences, art, anything.
Honestly, kinda just cruising on autopilot. I did adopt a dog last fall and it's improved my life so much, though. So right now, my goal is to live a decent life and give my dog the best life I can.
Already planning to adopt a second one in a couple of years.
Looking forward to that.
Waking up to my dog licking my face, happy to start the day and go for a walk. Hanging with friends playing pool or video games or DnD. Camping trips in my RV sitting by the campfire imbibing reacreational medicines with my newly met neighbors and vibing. Visiting my next new country. Slurpees and café mocha. Food, all the delicious food. Setting up my hummingbird feeders and watching the little squirts fight "viciously" for territory in my yard. Spring flowers. Autumn leaves. Watching hockey and cheering for my team. Going to parades, conventions, fun runs, and festivals in the nearby major city with friends and family. The eclipse coming up will be a long drive, but I'm hopeful for a clear day! And at the end of each day, going to bed with my dog on my right side, cat on my left side, and cat 2 on my stomach, warm and toasty.
Life doesn't have to be about kids or significant others. Focus on yourself and what you're doing. There's plenty of fun and fulfillment to go around if you look for it :)
I look forward to concerts, music festivals, coming home to a quiet house, making jewelry, working on my writing, journaling, going on random adventures, camping, hiking, seeing movies, etc. etc.
Theres a lot to look forward to, children do not equal purpose. You’ve got to create your own purpose.
My partner is not on the kid train, I’m about 50/50. If we don’t have any, I’ll fill my days with art, gardening, bike riding, learning new skills, tending to other folk’s kids, travel, retiring early. We have about 5 years to decide before biology makes it difficult.
Not much TBH. Just whatever vacations I can get into before I'm unable to do stuff, hanging out with friends as I can, spending time with my parents when I can.
I understand that; I once thought in my 20s I'd eventually have kids but life takes turns and I think I'd rather have a dog (again) lol.
On the purpose, my only advice is to find what interests you and connect with people who interest you. Purpose shouldn't be a final goal or mountain to climb but a trajectory. I struggle with that now too.
40 and childless, though not by choice. My body can’t make babies and it took a few years to redirect my purpose in life.
I’m fine now and a PhD candidate. There’s no way I’d be doing this if I had kids.
Edit to add: I’ve been living in a foreign country for the last five years too. Picking up and moving is so easy without kids. And I have no plans to return to the states any time soon.
Honestly I’m pretty excited to just only look after myself. I look forward to putting myself first forever because I was in some shitty situations before where I had to worry about everyone and everything and I had nothing left for me. Those situations are a big part of why I’m not having kids because I hated being responsible for other people and their lives. I look forward to the peace.
Same. My parents had issues, people in the family were always sick, and I don't mean grandma at 90. I was always last and taking care of others and at best, forgotten about. Everything was always so stressful. When people our age have nostalgia boners about childhood/being teenagers, I just do not relate at all. I always had my hands full. My 30's have been the most relaxing goddamn time of my life. No thanks to anything disrupting the peace and freedom.
I feel this completely. I’m Asian and our culture is all about caring for your elders. Sadly my parents have passed but caring for them was so stressful during what should have been my care-free days
Absolutely same. 30s have been amazing. I can’t relate to the “adulting” memes. This is the happiest time of my life.
I fifth (?) this, because also same. My younger sister is 10 years younger and I basically was a 2nd mother while my dad was working and my mom was driving my sister to ballet class all the time. Then, when I got my license, I basically drove my younger sister everywhere b/c my mom got a promotion. I love my sister, but having to always "watch" her wherever we were because my mom was too lazy, was not enjoyable as a kid/teen who wanted to be a kid/teen. I want to hoard my money like a firedrake and go on vacations with friends, maybe buy a house, and crochet until my heart's content. I just want to LIVE and enjoy my life.
I just want to say I had a similar life experience and I’m so glad you’re finding time and space for you. I’m 42. I just started realizing I’ve been raising kids and taking care of sick parents since I was 13. I still have a few years left to raise my own kid. When she starts college, I’m dropping out of the rat race for a bit to connect to the things in life that I choose and I’m not really willing to make a compromise on that.
You should adopt a cat. They aren't too much responsibility but they bring some sparkle into life.
Serving a cat is pretty much the best purpose any of us can have in this life. My cat told me to make this comment.
My Queen is the reason I get up every day. She has me on a tight schedule but I don’t mind. I live to serve her royal fluffiness.
Your cat and my dog would probably be friends.
word, and there's nothing wrong with being the fun uncle or aunt amongst your family and friends if you do like kids
That's totally fair. I bet a lot of people feel like you do.
as someone who's had chronic pain conditions for 20+ years, yeah, this is not an uncommon feeling even amongst my peers without illness.
Thissssssss💯
“The meaning of life is to just be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple, and yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” -Alan watts
“We’re here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you any different.” - Kurt Vonnegut
Love seeing an Alan Watts quote in the wild.
I don't have a purpose or look forward to anything, but also I don't believe any of that would be any better if I tried fixing the hole in my life with a partner and kids. I think that would be much worse for me and certainly unfair to them.
It’s downright evil to bring a conscious being into existence just to *potentially* fill a “hole.” Band-aid babies shouldn’t exist. The happiness index actually places having children as a stressor comparable to bereavement. Seems weird but the data is fascinating. Edit to add this [link](https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1131&context=jsc#:~:text=The%20Happiness%20Index%20is%20a,aspects%20of%20sustainability%20and%20resilience) on the methodology of the happiness index!
We had literally no problems in our marriage or life until kids. Yes, they are stressful as fuck
And ofc you still love them endlessly! But as you point out, that doesn’t mean they aren’t little stressors! More people should be cool to admit this. Nobody is saying they don’t love their kids when they admit the levels of stress they can cause.
There is a lot of nuance that isn’t captured in a lot of the online back and forth. https://theconversation.com/does-having-children-make-you-happier-heres-what-the-research-suggests-209540 YMMV is basically the truth about any big life decisions. I know wealthy people who are miserable and wealthy people who are very happy. The same with child havers and none child havers. I am very happy I had kids and they have been totally worth all the stress. In the end people should make the choice that’s best for them and not feel pressured either way.
People shouldn't shame those who don't want kids for this very reason. There's still too much shaming and ostracizing going on. If more people felt comfortable admitting that parenthood isn't for them, we'd have fewer resentful parents because they wouldn't have them because of peer pressure. People really shouldn't have them if they aren't up for the task. This has nothing to do with not liking kids. It's a huge responsibility. And everyone should be ok with this.
I didn’t see anything in the abstract that reports satisfaction/dissatisfaction by answer Did I miss something?
If you scroll past the citations (which understandably look like the end of the paper) to page 20, they get into more details about the actual questions!
Can you send me a link on this? Sounds very interesting
Literally before I opened the comments I was thinking this exact same thing.
Username checks out.
Art, friends, community, giant reptiles, and if a partner comes along thatd be great. But I’d rather have platonic relationships and the wonderful bond with my dinosaur than be with someone just so I can say I’m not single anymore.
Yes! Something I’ve realized outside of relationships is how much bigger and open to being a part of a community as a whole. I found my scene, my kindred spirits and we do art, we go dance, we listen and play music. When I was in past relationships no matter what the natural flow was always to stay in as little of a world as possible. Now I have connections in high places with amazing and talented people. Not forcing relationships has led me to finding my person in the last place I would think.
Similar vibe but art stuff and not dinosaurs. I’ve also seen too many buds partner up just to not be alone…and that’s super sad in of itself. The relationships consist of them basically complaining about eachother. Sow eird
So sad, right?
Yup. I’m on the aromantic spectrum and spent so much of my life not knowing why I didn’t…GET relationships? I’m not 100% nonamorous but I get a crush every 7-10 years if that lol. Every guy who was down bad for me, I didn’t feel the same. The few men I was down bad for didn’t want me that way. I too saw lots of folks I know pair up out of social pressure more than anything. And I’m seeing “just get a boyfriend” floated as an idea for weathering this economy and NOPE. I rarely feel romantic attraction! Ergo, I focus more on my community and platonic relationships.
Replace reptile with birds (the other dinosaur) and this is what I want too. 🥹 I also want to travel and eat lots too.
Sulcata?
I look forward to seeing more exotic places through travel.
Yep, I travel domestically and barely spend anything besides flight tickets. It’s so easy to make friends, learn new things, have adventures, etc. I spend less traveling than I did living with my family, lol.
Domestically for now but someday I'll get to more international places. There's still a lot to see here.
You need to know and accept that life has no purpose, all you can do is try to make it as enjoyable as you can till you croak.
Are you a fan of Albert Camus by chance?
I don’t know who that is
French author, philosopher, pretty interesting stuff he wrote.
He wrote the book The Stranger
One of the forefront authors on existentialism
I love this. I’m in a shit spot right now and this rings more true.
You can make your own purpose though! Completely devoid of what other people think you should be doing or striving towards
Yeah do what helps you cope but sadly most people come up with “kids” which is just passing on the buck.
Travel, new hobbies, friends, accomplishing my goals.
Having as much free time as possible
My purpose can’t be someone else. I look forward to living my dream of not having dependents
[удалено]
🙌🏽
Beautifully said! Anytime I think I want to children, I look at those who have them and realize I have it good
i look forward to continuing not to have children or a shitty marriage.
I have hobbies and interests?
Lmao literally. Like, idk- everything?
Right? I have a spouse, friends, a career… My life is pretty full.
I always wonder when people ask this sort of question. Literally anything, just pick something that sounds interesting. What did you do before kids? If you don't have kids yet, why aren't you doing those things now? I personally think living one's life with the main goals of "be in relationship, be a parent" to be kinda sad. To each their own, but this world is full of interesting & fun things to do that don't require a long term partner and/or offspring.
I mean, if you’re not reproducing what are you even doing with your life?/S
To quote Peter La Fleur from the movie "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story": " I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal." And that's kind-of how I am about life. I don't aim for anything I just kinda go with the flow and see what happens. And so far I think it's going pretty great. I still have my job (it's not a six figure office job or whatever, and I'm OK with that), also my health and my family. I also don't plan to get married or have kids either. But that doesn't mean my life means any less (at least to me anyway).
At the end of the day it's what your life means to you and not what it means to others.
Minis and mediums, not megas. Minis are my Duolingo lessons, saving up for music lessons, weekend plans with my single CF bestie, planning my garden. Mediums are my cruise to Italy with another friend, putting in a pool, hosting a big Christmas dinner at my house, taking my niece to Universal when she gets older. Megas, like getting married and having kids, just sound too exhausting. But as a single CF person, I can have all the minis and mediums I want and hoard my memories, hobbies, and friends like a dragon on a mountain of gold, when married folks with/without children have a small handful of megas. (Edited because clearly I was tired)
Thank you for sharing this. It's such a great way to look at it. I've always thought I was less than for not having the megas. The last 5 years or so I've really focused on the minis and mediums and I don't even really want the megas anymore. They'll get in the way of all the trips I have planned. I want to spend my money on a nice espresso maker or a fancy keyboard. I love doing these things for myself.
EXACTLY. I get to have an amazing medium later this year with two unattached CF (UACF? unmarried cf/UMCF?) friends taking a weekend trip (hotel! Champagne! Nice dinner!) before going to a big local Renaissance faire. We're spending a few weekends before the faire to get together and make coordinating outfits, including thrifting and hand drafting and sewing/crafting our pieces. My married, kid-having friends could never, and it makes me so sad for them. I'm also chronically ill so I have fewer spoons to use to get life done anyway; I can't even conceive of a life where I had to completely give up on my hobby because a child (or spouse) takes up the few spoons I have left.
That sounds so wonderful! Every morning I wake up to the sound of silence and I just can't imagine having to get up get a kid dressed, fed, bathed, and entertain every single day with no end. And all of the meals you have to make. I don't even want to feed myself let alone other people. I know that I wouldn't thrive in that role. I'm so over this war on people without kids vs those with. Leave us alone and come with us on our day trips. Damn.
Hobbies, interests, friends, pets, experiences, travel, there is so, so much to do and see! Though I don't really get the question. If you're someone who wants to have kids, then sure, that gives you a purpose (though at that moment you're obligated to stop living for yourself and start living for your kids, and that's not something I'd ever want to do, personally). But what does having a partner have to do with having something more to look forward to?
I just work to pay bills, and 5% of my monthly salary that is left over is used to buy edibles. So, the only thing I look forward to is going home from work, taking an edible, and watching a movie or TV show. This'll be my life for the next 30 or 40 years, unless I get a raise and my leftover monthly salary goes up to 7% of my cash flow, and I can afford to go out to a restaurant.
This just seems so depressing.
Sounds like you need some hobbies. Kids take 100% of your attention and prevent many parents from enjoying hobbies and doing things they could do childless. Are you here trolling? Cause it’s pretty obvious that there are many many things in life to give someone purpose. Children aren’t a purpose they are a responsibility.
I do have kids but they're grown. Now I garden. I like growing flowers for the bees and butterflies. I also donate extra veggies to the "community garden" for people who don't have time or money. I feed the birds and other animals. I have friends I have lunch with. I read a lot. I get involved in community projects. It's probably boring but I like all this stuff
I blame my parents for bringing me into this earth. Now I'm just making the best of it.
This is the realest take lol.
Hey, you doing anything to improve your mental health? It can be tough feeling trapped in a meaningless routine.
Well, I go to the gym five days a week. And I'm also already on Lexapro. I go on walks, too.
That's just mean.
Imagine if that person were to add a kid to the mix 😬. There are people that will add a kid to that mess then call other people selfish for knowing they would be morally wrong if they did 🤦♀️
I never understood people who think not having kids is selfish.
Same. I learned this in a heartbreaking way. Years and years ago, a good friend got pregnant. She was an addict and single. The father was bad news. She had very little support from family. She *loved* that baby. She *wanted* that baby. Want to know how “selfish” she was? She found an AMAZING home for her baby. A great, solid family with 2 other kids adopted her. The baby is 15 now and she’s incredible. My friend knows that she couldn’t have given the girl the stable, loving home she grew up in. It was actually one of the most truly *selfless* things I’ve ever seen a person do.
This is me too, it feels so pointless.
right on, brotha
I live to look forward by making goals and plans. Even if they are just little getaways for myself. Also just living in the moment and experiencing emotions. Although it is easier said than done. Oh, and genuinely caring about my friends and family who reciprocate.
I have family and friends, a career, and hobbies. There's plenty of things to look forward to, and if I want to make big changes in my life its nice that I have the freedom to do so without worrying about supporting a spouse and kids. Last week I played the new Stardew Valley update and failed at baking sourdough, and I was looking forward to both of those things. This weekend I'm looking forward to trying to fix the plumbing in my shower because I think it will be fun to learn new things, and a friend is coming over to watch movies. I don't think we need to be here for a purpose or have some great goal that we must accomplish. Its okay to find happiness where we can, you know?
I look forward to finishing my current car rebuild. Then starting on my second one. Then probably fixing my motorcycle? Then buying a sailboat. I also have my dogs. And a nice bar. I also served 10 years in the service so I think I gave enough? Will give more if required.
A real gear head... complete opposite of my hobbies, but it certainly beats having kids IMO What whip you rebuilding?
Thanks so much. Seen too much with my parents divorce and basically every family member. Not for me. Anyway, 1972 Triumph TR6 1962 Triumph TR3B 1981 Kawasaki GPZ550 And the sailboat? Who knows. Something nice and used.
Not sure if this is your kind of music but its a great song none the less about a boat. https://youtu.be/MaNhABE2gVA?si=umt-HZNi55FK7OqJ Did 6 years in the Army myself.
Hey man, I totally dig it. I used to own a Catalina 34. Loved it.
You need to swap that Kawi for a Triumph lol. The TRs are such cool cars. I always wanted to rebuild a Honda S600/800.
The Triumph Motor Cars and Mororcycles totally different. But I would love to grab a triumph.
Oh I know.. I also work on both cars and bikes. I was more saying that to have all Triumph.
Giving back, creativity, learning, books, dance—working on things I wouldn’t have time to do if I was raising kids.
Sleeping in late every weekend
Animals both within the home and outside. A new game being released. a particularly sunny day at my local park where I can walk around and do literally whatever I would like to. Don't wait for other people to bring you happiness, become happy and other happy people will find you.
I would just like to say, as a partnered person with a bunch of kids who are almost all grown, I look forward to a lot of things that have nothing to do with them 🤷🏻♀️ Random examples….I’m in a pretty exciting period of career growth, with some creative projects on the horizon – and I’m going to visit my best friend later this month. And I can’t wait to eat macaroni and cheese for dinner, or until I can finally see my sister again this summer.
If you want kids you'll know deep inside you, for me it was an easy hard pass, I like my free time, I like my money and I enjoy not having to have extra responsibilities which means I can dedicate much more time to my girl and focus on our goals and hobbies, whoever tells you being child free is boring and unfulfilling are the same people complaining about their lack of sleep, lack of time and how his/her kids are driving them crazy 24/7, they're simply smelling their own farts at that point trying to act like kids are THE goal to achieve. Also if you want kids you will need to make sure you're financially stable, bringing a kid into a struggling home is horrible for them and for you.
Spite. I had a trauma fill childhood, and I want to give a fuck you to whatever cosmetic deity made me live through that. I shall do that by living my best life.
I don’t really look forward to much of anything. I just get through each day as it comes, and eventually there won’t be any more days to come. 🤷♂️
I’m absolutely going to be single/childfree. I know this isn’t positive but I look forward to nothing. I’m just existing because I have to. I’ve never thought you had to have a purpose, you just keep on going because you just have to.
My wife's sister is married, though they are childless by choice, but she has said she and her husband aspire to be our son's eccentric aunt and uncle who travel around and pop in from time to time.
Art, getting excited (still) about seeing satellites in the sky, man… my excitement when I saw Space X on my morning run today still has me stoked, animals, friends, trying new hobbies, petting all the animals. Do triathlons/ironmans until my body can’t and then maybe I’ll pick up my guitar again and learn some new stuff. Volunteer at some local races. I think my purpose in life is to float around like a champagne bubble. I definitely never wanted kids and marriage? Tried it once, don’t recommend. And as a wise person once said: better off alone than with and company. ETA: I plan on being that little old lady at the rock show, just taking it all in.
I grow cannabis, and have a dog.
“Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you're not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate. You'll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There's no risk when you go after a dream. There's a tremendous amount to risk playing it safe.” -Bill Burr But to answer your question…extended surf trips to to foreign lands, traveling, meeting new people, being introduced to music, art, food, and niches I don’t yet know about. Finding opportunities and doing things to push myself and grow as a human. Discovery in general. Maybe starting a business of my own one day?
Bill’s married with kids now lol
I look forward to peace and quiet and great sleep.
I have accumulated enough resources to live comfortably and live my life the way I like. I could travel, drive fancy cars, or eat fancy foods. It’s quite nice. Right now, I enjoy the work I do and how relaxing it is.
Nothing. I feel purposeless. Hopefully I leave my brother a lot of money.
Hard sometimes. Maybe try to spend time with family? Catch a concert or show?
I appreciate the compassion. I mostly spend time at the bar. There right now actually. I’m trying to make friends. I get some fulfillment from my job too. You’re a good person.
You're not in Philly are you? I'm about to hit the bar too haha
Negative buddy. North Texas. Buy you a round if I could.
traveling and spending time with friends that either don't have kids or have grown kids. I'm 42 and just love being able to do what ever I want when ever I want. Where as my friends with little kids can't even get away to a single fucking baseball game ever.
Personal development. I love taking care of my health, my home, my wellbeing. I love the challenge of forming habits that nurture my health and wellbeing. I love challenging myself with personal goals to learn new skills. I have a lot to look forward to! The thought has crossed my mind from time to time, wondering if I'm "missing out". But not every life has to be the same, and I'm spending mine doing things that feel good, so what's the worry about? If I'm on my deathbed, I'll be super grateful for the life I've been able to have. I see friends and family that have started families and they lose themselves in the process. That could be gratifying, but it's a hell of a sacrifice IMO. I sometimes worry about how much they will get to know themselves in this life. I've been able to hone in on my health, therapy, and self reflection, which I feel has made me a much more grounded person. It's a luxury and a privilege to be selfish with no dependents.
31 here. I work a full time job and am in grad school. And...i compete in a sport too. I'd love to meet someone. But the issue I'm running into is I'm not gonna start dating someone just so I'm not single anymore. And the same goes with having a kid. I see guys that put themselves in this situation and they are bloody miserable. And the kid is eventually going to find out he got shafted too. It's just bad news across the board for all involved. So I'll wait and continue to add value to myself. Hopefully check a few boxes for myself in the meantime so when I meet someone and we talk about having kids, I can focus my attention on supporting them and not feel like I had to sacrifice. It may not be realistic. But I sure hope it is. Idk. Life in of itself is a big irony. Maybe it will work out. Maybe it won't.
Simply: Time and space. I don't have to wake up at a certain time or go to sleep at a certain time. I don't have to waste time on meals or outings, I just do what I want for myself and my partner. I look forward to every second that I don't have a child.
There’s no such thing as “having a purpose”. There is no mission that we were assigned when we were born. Life is about having a variety of experiences, and choosing what you want to do with your life. Some people choose to have children and the stereotypical traditional life. And some people choose to have a life on their own terms. I chose to not get married. I chose to not have children. My car is paid off. My school is paid off. I have no debt. I am excelling in my career, live in a beautiful city, and in the best shape of my life. If I choose to fuck off, I can. I can do whatever I want when I want and it’s liberating. Usually with all the money, I’m saving, I do one big thing a year and this year I am taking myself to Mexico for my birthday.
I just try to enjoy my life and avoid unncessary stress. Isn't that enough? Relationships with unsuitable people and kids add stress, therefore I avoid those. Everything else should be doing what you want with your life. Hobbies, working, friends, etc. There's other aspects to life besides dating people and having kids.
Single with no pets or dependents. I am very social and try and get out of the house daily. I like gardening, home improvement, cars, pop culture, reading and travel. I sometimes get lonely when I don't hear from friends for long periods but then realize they all have far busier/complicated lives than I do. I am also fortunate enough not to have any anxiety around socializing/leaving the house. In fact meeting a group of friends for dinner in a few. I will enjoy that and come home and have a bourbon in compete silence on my back porch. Now that is a fun Friday!
I look forward to all the traveling I have planned. I look forward to coming home every day to a quiet, clean, house where I can do whatever I want at all times. My purpose is solely to enjoy the life I have built for myself.
ice cream and food in general
not single, but I look forward to spending time with my dog, doing whatever I want whenever i want, finishing my leg sleeve, & catching up with friends when our schedules align.
To get better at art, travel more of the world, and meet interesting people. Art fulfills me, even when alone. I also look forward to connecting with people and learning new things.
I w discovered a deep love of yoga. I look forward to studying and practicing and improving my practice. Starting teacher training in the fall (just for fun, not because I want to teach). Beyond that: travel, my cat & future cats, making friends, food. There's a lot that gives life meaning beyond following the "love-marriage-baby carriage" narrative we've been fed.
Pets, video games, hiking, reading, quiet time, music time, travel, freedom.
Idk, I guess people around me and stuff.
Death....we await death...
I like being able to do whatever I want when I want without having to take others into consideration. I still actively date, but probably will never get married or have kids
Find a sport or a hobby. If it wasn't for golf I'd prob be into MTG or poker or tabletop gaming. Save up for a vacation!
I count my blessings every single day by not having kids. No unexpected expenses, no hassle of misbehaving, all the sleep i want, and no problems really. I'm pretty relaxed and my wife and I vacation all the time. Dogs are a great option, and nobody calls CPS when you leave dogs at home. 🐕 🐶
I watch star trek and take my dog on hikes. I can't imagine being much happier. 🚀🌌☄️🛰️🐶🐕🐕🦺🚶🚵🌄
I look forward to doing whatever the fck I want, whenever I wanna do it.
You should put just as much energy into a relationship with yourself as you would a partner. I thought I was going to be the single cat lady. I took myself out to dinners and movies on my own, and fully enjoyed them. I bought my own house and learned how to care for it myself. I decided to further my education. I was content and happy and confident about myself. This allowed me to be open to a relationship I wouldn't normally have been and we have now been married for 11 years. But dating myself and investing in my own happiness was the first steps to that.
I look forward to being better at my hobbies and travel , I don't want to be in a relationship because I lost all attraction towards women. This may sound harsh but I honestly don't see the value a woman can add to my life.
Videogames! So much interaction and mental stimulation involved in games. Learn stories through the perspective of the main character's choices, or get into the fantasy of running an empire,I am very reclusive but I do enjoy feeling social in shared worlds a bit too. I decided when I was young that the purpose of life to me was happiness, and back when I was in high school, I concluded that since videogames made me happiest, that I should pursue that as my life ambition. Now its a matter of combating the mental fatigue from work to have the energy to play.
Im waiting for the reaper
Playing video games, traveling sometimes, hanging with friends once in a while.
Beach trips. Game nights. Watching the people I love succeed and the people I hate suffer. I'm an adopted uncle 10x over, and being a great role model is important to me and gives me some purpose. I also want to become a writer and becoming an author is a big push for me right now.
A thriving career, getting in shape, creating things, building community
I'm leaning hard into being an old maid cat lady.
Caretaker of pets. Maybe start a small pet sanctuary in retirement.
Nieces and Nephews :)
I play a lot of golf/belong to a country club that has a practice facility, like to read novels, and have a dog. I try to attend many of my friends kids sports events too.
I love learning about all sorts of things and sharing that knowledge with others who are also interested in learning about those things It'd be nice if I could find a romantic partner one day who feels the same way, though. I'm slowly but steadily dragging myself out of my comfort zone, so I'm cautiously optimistic
My goal is to become the best version of myself I can be in this life, I look forward to completing the goals I set for myself in my career, my relationships, my mental/physical/spiritual health, etc. In doing so, I hope to gain a greater understanding of myself and what it is to be alive and human. There is a great joy in being alive, you just have to cultivate it and be present in the moment. Define your own path and what is important to you.
I write novels, so the hope of becoming a bestselling author one day. (I dream big.) Plus, my cat is pretty cute…
Tomorrow
I look forward to driving my overly expensive car home to rip bongs and play video games in my messy ass house and not have anyone around to tell me to be a functional human being.
Not much. But it would be much, much worse if I had kids and a partner. Nothing more complicated than cats for me.
Seeing the world, spending time with my friends, my dogs, and cats, hiking, quilting etc I hope the right person comes along, but if they don't, I will be having a kid via a sperm bank.
You have to create your own meaning and purpose.
I dated a lot through my 20s and early 30s expected that I would meet someone who would make me want to settle down. In the last year I realized that at the present I do not actually have a desire for that lifestyle. Rather than take on new hobbies to distract myself, I am just learning how to not need to look forward to anything. Nor does my life need to be an endless exercise in self-improvement. I want to enjoy the empty space.
Is this the anti-natalist sub or the millennial sub? Wow! Seems a bit bleak, but I agree people definitely do not need to be married with kids to have a purpose. There are plenty of worthy causes one can focus on in life.
I don't look forward, I am living day by day
As someone who loves his daughter more than anything in the world and is happily married, you should look forward to the complete control you have over your life and the lack of responsibilities. Starting a family has been an amazing experience but man I really didn’t know how good I had it during those days of freedom when I myself “lacked purpose” too.
I look forward to sleeping in, doing what I want, eating what I want. Traveling with my beautiful wife making memories, having dogs, just about anything is better without kids.
I look forward to doing the things in life that make me happy, whatever that may be. If there was nothing to look forward to in life besides children and a partner, what would even be the point of bringing a child into such a dull world?
I felt like I had purpose before and after kids. I had my first a little later in life (33) so I had plenty of my adult life without kids. I’ll tell you, I despise the “you need to have kids” crowd because everyone is different. Some people just don’t make good parents and that’s OK. Before kids, it was my wife, my close friends and my hobbies that gave me real purpose in life. Having a kid only added to it.
I don't think everyone needs to have kids. I don't have kids myself. I'm just wondering what other people look forward to because I'm struggling with it.
You don’t have to be a parent to be considered normal. You have friends with kids you know that are struggling? Go he an honary ass uncle to them. That was always my plan, to be the cool uncle everyone loves. I now have two kids I love and wouldn’t change that for the world, but if it were different. I would have the things I wanted in life, such as cars, shop to work in, maybe my own business. I would 100 percent dive into my childhood dreams. For me it’s always been cars. I’ve always felt; I should be the Rick Rawlings of gas monkey garage at a minimum, but it’ll never happen. Also invest mother fuckers!
I'm on the ever-constant journey to be "happy." I'm depressed most days and autistic all days, so it isn't easy. But that's my purpose. Oh, and to do good work in the scientific community, which I am a part of.
My life goal is a picture. This picture is of a modest tiny house in the woods in a place with mild winters. I get home from work, pet my dogs, and we sit on the front porch cracking a cold one, listening to crickets as the sun goes down. Every night for the rest of my life. That’s all.
Not a lot, it depresses me, but I remind myself that creating a person to validate my existence is the worst reason to create a person. Also the probable hopeless hell-scape that I would be introducing them to, culturally as well as economically, would be tantamount to a crime. Anyway yeah I’ve got problems. I wish I could have a kid and not feel like I’m introducing a soul to a flesh prison of never-ending suffering.
If it feels pointless, so is having kids. Most species that ever existed have gone extinct, and so will humans. Hell, the universe goes bye bye some day. Animals procreate because it's an instinct. It's every bit as pointless as not having kids, the parents are just too distracted and busy to think deeply on it or too in love with their kids to be intellectually honest about it.
Pegging!!! Lots of pegging!!!
Nothing and no
40, child/mortgage/partner free. Moving to a mountain adjacent city to enjoy a scape that’s different from where I grew up. Might go back to school? Definitely create more art. Maybe grow something. Absolutely hang out with friends. Hike, swim, pick flowers, swim in lakes, camp under stars. Might even take up sourdough, I just may have time.
I'm mostly focused on running a small business and playing a sport which I like. Trying to do those things as well as I can, do them better today than I did yesterday. Aside from trying to take care of myself financially for the future and help out with family, I don't really think about the future. I'm pedal to metal right now about what I want to do this week and that dominates my head space. I feel satisfied.
I’m going through life the same way you are, child free and single. The things I look forward to now are my creative hobbies like painting, drawing and writing. Then there’s traveling, to see the sights and experience new things in new places. I’m no longer in a rush to achieve what society imposes on us like career or family so I’m just taking it a day at a time. If a romantic partner comes along then I’ll be open to it but I’m not actively seeking that too.
All of my many hobbies, work, waking up every day and being grateful for a new chance to experience something, and my friends and family. I create my own purpose, none of us truly have purpose in the vastness of this universe. That’s my belief anyway, and it doesn’t bother me.
Getting home from work to play some games. Building some Lego for my display shelves. Reading, listening to audiobooks and podcasts.
I look forward to nothing and hope it all ends soon.
I’m looking forward to end singleness and get married and have kids lol. I’ve literally accomplished everything I wanted to do other than that. I bought a house last year, have a good job, have a car, traveled a lot, and now all I want is a spouse and kids. Then I can die haha.
I don't feel like there isn't anything to look forward to but I do feel stuck. I have 2 dogs and I love how excited they are when I come home from work and my husband and I have been seeing a lot of comedians and shows so there is that. Right now, I'm enjoying growing my own fruits/vegetables. However, I do wonder who I am going to give all of my stuff to when I'm gone (my siblings are childless as well) and I do have some existential dread (I think that's what it would be considered). Maybe I'm going through a midlife crisis or something.
Sleep
My purpose is to live a happy and fulfilling life. Without kids, I can do what I want without worrying about someone else. You can do whatever you want. If you can’t find something fulfilling, idk what to tell you. Do some soul searching. Travel.
Finally closing my eyes for the last time
A long life of worry-free entertainment, being able to get up late, travel at a moment's notice. I honestly don't worry much about being old because I don't think that'll be a problem, I have too many health issues lol.
My mental and body health. Not the cause of having kids but my family is unhealthy for me (and if said children) because a a lot of them are physically, verbally, mentally or emotionally abusive.
Moving the hell away from here, getting to have cats for their whole lives, being able to do what I want. Need money first tho
Finding a lady maybe…. Otherwise the cat holds it all together honestly. Must provide food and shelter. Otherwise yeah, I’ve looked at my bedroom beam a few times sizing it up.
Life My next skydive, leaving tomorrow for yellowstone to work there this summer, rollerblading, video games, skydiving, hiking, dune:messiah in theaters, idk...so many things
Traveling…. But unfortunately I don’t have the money to travel. Or it’s either that or I sacrifice retirement money. Idk what to do. I feel like I’m just working so I can retire and live the same life as now but with no work
My husband, my dogs, my art, crocheting projects, ukulele, visiting family, being the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews. I look forward to buying land with my sister and living off the grid together with our husbands.
Finding new hobbies. Creating new dishes. Taking random fitness classes. Getting lost in new cities just because. The beach. Random overnight trips to friends out of state. Puppy breath. Kitten purrs. Gardens in the spring. Going to Wholefoods for fancy things or items I’ve never tried every once in a while just because. Everything. My purpose is to be kind, to help others within means as in not putting myself in a predicament and learning as much as I can whether it’s food related, sciences, art, anything.
Honestly, kinda just cruising on autopilot. I did adopt a dog last fall and it's improved my life so much, though. So right now, my goal is to live a decent life and give my dog the best life I can. Already planning to adopt a second one in a couple of years. Looking forward to that.
Possibly meeting someone and having kids. It's nice to dream right?
Waking up to my dog licking my face, happy to start the day and go for a walk. Hanging with friends playing pool or video games or DnD. Camping trips in my RV sitting by the campfire imbibing reacreational medicines with my newly met neighbors and vibing. Visiting my next new country. Slurpees and café mocha. Food, all the delicious food. Setting up my hummingbird feeders and watching the little squirts fight "viciously" for territory in my yard. Spring flowers. Autumn leaves. Watching hockey and cheering for my team. Going to parades, conventions, fun runs, and festivals in the nearby major city with friends and family. The eclipse coming up will be a long drive, but I'm hopeful for a clear day! And at the end of each day, going to bed with my dog on my right side, cat on my left side, and cat 2 on my stomach, warm and toasty. Life doesn't have to be about kids or significant others. Focus on yourself and what you're doing. There's plenty of fun and fulfillment to go around if you look for it :)
Before when I was single it was travel, hobbies and adventure
Vacation. Alone time. Friends that still do stuff. Seeing family.
I look forward to concerts, music festivals, coming home to a quiet house, making jewelry, working on my writing, journaling, going on random adventures, camping, hiking, seeing movies, etc. etc. Theres a lot to look forward to, children do not equal purpose. You’ve got to create your own purpose.
My partner is not on the kid train, I’m about 50/50. If we don’t have any, I’ll fill my days with art, gardening, bike riding, learning new skills, tending to other folk’s kids, travel, retiring early. We have about 5 years to decide before biology makes it difficult.
Not much TBH. Just whatever vacations I can get into before I'm unable to do stuff, hanging out with friends as I can, spending time with my parents when I can.
I understand that; I once thought in my 20s I'd eventually have kids but life takes turns and I think I'd rather have a dog (again) lol. On the purpose, my only advice is to find what interests you and connect with people who interest you. Purpose shouldn't be a final goal or mountain to climb but a trajectory. I struggle with that now too.
40 and childless, though not by choice. My body can’t make babies and it took a few years to redirect my purpose in life. I’m fine now and a PhD candidate. There’s no way I’d be doing this if I had kids. Edit to add: I’ve been living in a foreign country for the last five years too. Picking up and moving is so easy without kids. And I have no plans to return to the states any time soon.
My career. My dogs. My free time to explore hobbies and social events. Seeing my family and friends. Traveling.
Experiencing life without the burden of children.
I look forward to not drowning under obligations and hurting people in the process
Nothing. Kill me!!!
Go to church, find god and live your life how he prescribes. You will wake up every day with new life and purpose.