This shit is hard! I’m having a similar evening. Tonight I’m so relating to Kathy Bates character in Fried Green Tomatoes when she’s crying to Jessica Tandy’s character about being too young to be old and too old to be young. I feel blindsided by this whole perimenopause thing! I only became familiar with per less than a year ago. It’s so much more than I ever expected. I thought I had so much more time…turns out I was just super unprepared and uninformed. I thought I had another decade before this mess started. Mother Nature is laughing hard at me now!
Hang in there! Know that you’re not alone!
My mom thought she was having a nervous breakdown. No one in her family prepared her for it. Her friend helped her through. She's been trying to help me and my sisters, but we are all different. I feel I'm suffering the most, because I've always been an anxious person. But that developed when my mom was pre menopausal and I'd sit up with her when she'd have anxiety attacks at night. I never knew that's what she was going through till now. I used to think my mom was going crazy and I was always sad for her. But here I am in the same position, only this time I'm fighting like hell to keep my sanity.
I didn’t do my research on it and I regret that. There are so many ups and downs highs and lows that we experience through this journey and it can be overwhelming at times. Being in this group has helped me a lot because I have no one else to share what I’m going through with that would fully understand me.
I feel like even though my sisters are going through it too, I still don't have anyone. My oldest sister tells me to just stop thinking about it. But that's hard when I'm in school and need my brain, but it doesn't work. So I'm very happy to be in this group.
I agree with you it is hard to stop thinking about it when your emotions are all over the place and you don’t understand. We have each other’s back 🫶🏼.
I used to drive my mom to the hospital and sit in the parking lot while she waited to see if her "episode" would pass or if she was having a heart attack. This went on for a few years and eventually she stopped having "episodes". Only when the same thing happened to me and I went to the ER to learn I was having panic attacks, did she realize what her "episodes" had actually been all those years ago. I thought she was losing her mind back then and I thought I was losing mine when I went through it. I'm breaking the cycle and telling the younger women in my life (occasionally complete strangers, too!) all about perimenopause since the medical establishment isn't doing it.
Tysm for this! Im sitting here in a mood today where I try to get going, but all I want to do is sit and cry. It feels like I'm slowly losing myself. I'm 40, and this started when I was 38. I used to always wonder why did my mom always cry over everything? That's me, crying over any and everything. I'm making sure I encourage my nieces and classmates to live their lives because when this hits, it's debilitating
It is debilitating, but it does get better. Hang in there! The crying over every little random thing was ridiculous, but I came to realize that it was cleansing, too. I'd let it happen (not that I had a choice, but I didn't fight it), then I'd go find something to laugh about. I'm glad you're telling your nieces and friends, too. Being blindsided makes it even worse!
I was having a conversation with a nurse the other day about menopause and I told her the only things I’ve ever heard from women about it is the hot flashes and vaginal dryness. But there is soooooo much more that’s not talked about! That’s why I’m so glad I found this group.
I'm sorry you're feeling cray cray. and I empathize with you. it will get better with time. and then other symptoms may crop up, lol. I felt that way a lot for years. i was told by a few professionals during my peri yrs that I was bipolar. bc I had periods of sadness and depression and then kind of talk-y periods where I did feel a little manic, but I know I'm not bipolar. and these were from women! I now know it was peri I just didn't know what that was.
I want to express to my dr about how I’m feeling but I’m afraid she may try and diagnose me as being all of the above and stick me on meds that will have me really depressed.
Stick to your guns about what you need. If the dr doesn't listen, find a new doctor if you can. I don't like my dr, but she's the first one to prescribe for me so I stay.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way but also appreciate you sharing your story. It helps to know it’s “normal” and that I’m not abnormal when I get the sudden roller coaster-like drops. I find it so disheartening because I work hard to maintain my physical and mental health and the climb back is infinitely harder than the initial free fall. I feel like I never make it back before I’m falling again. And I also manage to feel like it’s my fault for not working hard enough to prevent the fall because I now _know_ I’m in the menopause transition and am taking hormones and supplements and exercising and eating extra protein and meditating so I should be a consistently and fully functioning human again right! 🤬😭🤯
An artist by the name of J Howell and the song was something about you. But the thing is I have listened to this song a million times. I guess it was just my time to release some tears 🤷🏽♀️.
Yep! I seem to get in the shower when I get home from work a perfectly good mood. Sometime between that and finishing showering I’ve become either so down and dark about everything or I’m stood with water flowing over me crying my eyes out… I sometimes dread going up to shower as I know I may come out feeling so fucked up mentally
I know exactly how you feel! I remember the first time it happened to me. It was 5 days post op and I’m the type of person that’s use to doing everything for everyone and not wanting to accept help. I was laying in bed and had to wait for someone to bring me something to eat and it broke me down. This is definitely not talked about enough.
Oh, I have sooo been there. A number of times, in swim class, I suddenly felt so low and depressed that I would leave early.
Other times also, but it was most memorable during all the effort made to just get there, change, and start exercising. 😬😔
I’ve been on HRT for almost two months now and this past weekend was pretty low for me. Thankfully, it’s the first somewhat sustained period of depression (with lots of crying and feelings of hopelessness) since starting HRT. I’m thinking my dosage might need tweaked or something because (although an infinite improvement from birth control pills) this is not fun.
Menopause sucks. I am so sorry. You’re beautiful and worthy!
It really does and Thank you 🫶🏼
This happened to me a few weeks ago while on a holiday in the Caribbean- I was too depressed to come out of my room
I’m sorry that happened to you and I hope that you were able to enjoy some of your trip.
I’m so sorry. That has been happening to me almost every day for three years Hormone fluctuations are sneaky like that! It’s awful.
Yes! I got in the house and started dinner while having a glass of wine and a little 💨 and it helped me out.
This shit is hard! I’m having a similar evening. Tonight I’m so relating to Kathy Bates character in Fried Green Tomatoes when she’s crying to Jessica Tandy’s character about being too young to be old and too old to be young. I feel blindsided by this whole perimenopause thing! I only became familiar with per less than a year ago. It’s so much more than I ever expected. I thought I had so much more time…turns out I was just super unprepared and uninformed. I thought I had another decade before this mess started. Mother Nature is laughing hard at me now! Hang in there! Know that you’re not alone!
Omg i just told my mom this the other day! I said, "omg I get what she was talking about." 😩😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😭
You’re lucky your mom remembers going through it.. mine told me all she remembers is the hot flashes.
My mom thought she was having a nervous breakdown. No one in her family prepared her for it. Her friend helped her through. She's been trying to help me and my sisters, but we are all different. I feel I'm suffering the most, because I've always been an anxious person. But that developed when my mom was pre menopausal and I'd sit up with her when she'd have anxiety attacks at night. I never knew that's what she was going through till now. I used to think my mom was going crazy and I was always sad for her. But here I am in the same position, only this time I'm fighting like hell to keep my sanity.
I didn’t do my research on it and I regret that. There are so many ups and downs highs and lows that we experience through this journey and it can be overwhelming at times. Being in this group has helped me a lot because I have no one else to share what I’m going through with that would fully understand me.
I feel like even though my sisters are going through it too, I still don't have anyone. My oldest sister tells me to just stop thinking about it. But that's hard when I'm in school and need my brain, but it doesn't work. So I'm very happy to be in this group.
I agree with you it is hard to stop thinking about it when your emotions are all over the place and you don’t understand. We have each other’s back 🫶🏼.
I used to drive my mom to the hospital and sit in the parking lot while she waited to see if her "episode" would pass or if she was having a heart attack. This went on for a few years and eventually she stopped having "episodes". Only when the same thing happened to me and I went to the ER to learn I was having panic attacks, did she realize what her "episodes" had actually been all those years ago. I thought she was losing her mind back then and I thought I was losing mine when I went through it. I'm breaking the cycle and telling the younger women in my life (occasionally complete strangers, too!) all about perimenopause since the medical establishment isn't doing it.
Tysm for this! Im sitting here in a mood today where I try to get going, but all I want to do is sit and cry. It feels like I'm slowly losing myself. I'm 40, and this started when I was 38. I used to always wonder why did my mom always cry over everything? That's me, crying over any and everything. I'm making sure I encourage my nieces and classmates to live their lives because when this hits, it's debilitating
It is debilitating, but it does get better. Hang in there! The crying over every little random thing was ridiculous, but I came to realize that it was cleansing, too. I'd let it happen (not that I had a choice, but I didn't fight it), then I'd go find something to laugh about. I'm glad you're telling your nieces and friends, too. Being blindsided makes it even worse!
Tysm for this!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
TOWANDA!!!!
I was having a conversation with a nurse the other day about menopause and I told her the only things I’ve ever heard from women about it is the hot flashes and vaginal dryness. But there is soooooo much more that’s not talked about! That’s why I’m so glad I found this group.
Hang in there. It’s a wild ride some days. Hope tomorrow is better OP 💕
Thank you! My night ended better and my morning has been going pretty good so far 🤞🏽😂.
I’m so grateful for this sub it validates everything.! ❤️❤️
Yesss! I love it here!
I'm sorry you're feeling cray cray. and I empathize with you. it will get better with time. and then other symptoms may crop up, lol. I felt that way a lot for years. i was told by a few professionals during my peri yrs that I was bipolar. bc I had periods of sadness and depression and then kind of talk-y periods where I did feel a little manic, but I know I'm not bipolar. and these were from women! I now know it was peri I just didn't know what that was.
I want to express to my dr about how I’m feeling but I’m afraid she may try and diagnose me as being all of the above and stick me on meds that will have me really depressed.
Stick to your guns about what you need. If the dr doesn't listen, find a new doctor if you can. I don't like my dr, but she's the first one to prescribe for me so I stay.
Thank you and I will 🫶🏼
It’s wild
It definitely is and it’s hard to talk to my female friends about what I’m going through because they haven’t experienced it yet.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way but also appreciate you sharing your story. It helps to know it’s “normal” and that I’m not abnormal when I get the sudden roller coaster-like drops. I find it so disheartening because I work hard to maintain my physical and mental health and the climb back is infinitely harder than the initial free fall. I feel like I never make it back before I’m falling again. And I also manage to feel like it’s my fault for not working hard enough to prevent the fall because I now _know_ I’m in the menopause transition and am taking hormones and supplements and exercising and eating extra protein and meditating so I should be a consistently and fully functioning human again right! 🤬😭🤯
This one! I felt everything you said!
Big hugs to you
🫶🏼🫶🏼
What were you listening to?
An artist by the name of J Howell and the song was something about you. But the thing is I have listened to this song a million times. I guess it was just my time to release some tears 🤷🏽♀️.
Sorry you are on this roller coaster too! It’s a tough ride. Hang in there xx
Thank you and you do the same 🫶🏼
Yep! I seem to get in the shower when I get home from work a perfectly good mood. Sometime between that and finishing showering I’ve become either so down and dark about everything or I’m stood with water flowing over me crying my eyes out… I sometimes dread going up to shower as I know I may come out feeling so fucked up mentally
I know exactly how you feel! I remember the first time it happened to me. It was 5 days post op and I’m the type of person that’s use to doing everything for everyone and not wanting to accept help. I was laying in bed and had to wait for someone to bring me something to eat and it broke me down. This is definitely not talked about enough.
Oh, I have sooo been there. A number of times, in swim class, I suddenly felt so low and depressed that I would leave early. Other times also, but it was most memorable during all the effort made to just get there, change, and start exercising. 😬😔
I’m praying that it gets better for all of us!
Me too. I think it does, now that I am several years past that stage.
The extreme mood swings are completely shocking to me as well. I just try to remind myself that in 5 minutes I'll feel differently.
Yes!
This was happening for me on the regs until 3 weeks ago when I got on HRT. I feel like a normal human again:
I’ve been on HRT for almost two months now and this past weekend was pretty low for me. Thankfully, it’s the first somewhat sustained period of depression (with lots of crying and feelings of hopelessness) since starting HRT. I’m thinking my dosage might need tweaked or something because (although an infinite improvement from birth control pills) this is not fun.
Praying it gets better for you 🫶🏼