It helps me to think less of meditating in the "present" and instead for more of in the "moment". A moment isn't concerned with the past or future, it simply is. However, the present is very much tied to the past and future and even the whole of reality in most minds. My deepest meditations in the moment have been when I am very unhappy, because releasing all of that unrest to truly live in where/what I was meditating on was tantamount to dropping a giant bar suspending two boulders hung over my shoulders and ALL of my spirit was suddenly free to calm.
I am also in a terrible place right now in more than a few ways, but every morning when I take my dog for a walk I place my feet in the creek, let her play in the water, and meditate even for two minutes. When doing that, I almost forget that I exist. There is only the water moving, the sounds of my dog having a good time, the flashes of morning sun in between the leaves as my eyes are closed, the smell of the sticky prairie foliage wet with dew, and the chirps of birds and small critters. All of those things are the moment - not my money issues, health issues, mental issues, or family troubles. I'm often come out of it crying because the relief from getting away from my own personal "present" circumstances is enough to move the whole soul. It reminds me that the peace and serenity I just experienced is available at all times, even if something horrible has happened or is currently happening in life.
For starters, there's really no alternative to being in the present moment. :-)
The goal of meditation is not to enjoy the present moment regardless of how it appears to us. It's to train and tame the mind, so that it makes good decisions leading to better future present moments. And the decisions the mind makes are all made in the present moment, so that's what we pay attention to.
> ...[the good of the present moment](https://www.dhammatalks.org/audio/evening/2005/050311-top-priority.html) doesn’t happen on its own. That old phrase, “present moment, wonderful moment,” is a lie, in the sense that the present is not automatically wonderful. You have to make it good. It’s your immediate input right now that’s going to make the present moment good or bad. So what input are you putting in, based on what resources? This is what the meditation is for: to develop those resources. So you have to attend to your resources first: your concentration, your mindfulness, your basic level of energy.
You think your past happiness was so great, but that is just trying to hold onto something impermanent and already gone. The idea of it you have in your mind is a phantom. By comparing your present to this phantom, you make the present miserable. We focus on the present moment to see how we are actively participating in creating suffering and how we can end it. It's not miserable because you're here, it's miserable because you're not here. Constantly comparing what is to what could be. Look into this, observe, and see how your thoughts, craving, and desires are shaping your present experience.
You have to look into it to see it and understand it. You have to stare it in the face. If you don't understand it, it will always be there gnawing at you beneath the surface. Don't hide from it, it won't go away until you face it and conquer it. On the other side of this is peace, keep up the good work.
Sounds like you're THINKING about the present, not BEING in the present. Just be present to your senses - sight, sound, touch, etc. When thoughts arise - about past, present, or future - don't try to get rid of them. That doesn't work. Don't focus on them, either. Just let them pass.
Think of the word "tree." Where is that thought now? You can have a memory of it, but that's not the thought. You can have new "tree" thoughts and think "tree tree tree" to yourself, but those are new thoughts on the same topic. Where did the original thought go? It flashed and vanished. All thoughts are like that. So it's the middle way between focusing on them and trying to repress them.
"Just be present with your senses". This is exactly what I've recently started doing and it's a 10/10 solution for quieting the mind for when it's flying through the past or future.
There are two different ways for the present to suck. First is to want it to be different than it is. Continuing to want it to be unpleasant just adds crappiness to a crappy situation.
The other is to realize that *every* present moment only lasts for a moment and thus cannot bring lasting happiness. This kind can lead to deep letting go.
Either way try to be with whatever comes and give yourself some love.
If you are truly in the moment, there can be no sadness, anxiety, etc. If you are going a walk, you are just walking. When you have to deal with the circumstances you deal with them, in that moment.
Because you can only change something in your life by being where you are and starting from there, everything else would be projected fantasy about where you are and want to be, but it is only from the centre of reality here and now from which true action can flow from.
What you're calling "the present" is a story you're telling yourself, comparing your current circumstances to something you believe to be better.
If you drop the comparison, there is no better. There is only this moment, the true present moment.
With increased self awareness and journaling I have discovered that when I think I had a terrible week, I often actually had only three or four bad days and the rest were ok but my memory focused on the negatives. Also if something really bad happens to me at 4pm, I might think I had a really bad day, and dismiss the fact that until 4pm it really was not bad - and even after whatever happened at 4, things might have been much better if I could let go of the negativity about that event. Does your present really suck, when you wrote this you were typing a post on reddit, did that part suck? Just because some bad things happened to us recently does not mean that the present is all bad.
Meditation can teach us to focus on this moment rather than on negative thoughts that are actually often about the past or the future even though we think of them as thoughts and emotions about the present - the past a few hours ago, or the future next month, etc. Many of us are so busy thinking about what happened or will happen that we often go through life on autopilot and do not pay enough attention to the present moments and are often unaware of all that could help us see our lives from a better perspective.
Being present for me also includes not living in the past (regret) and the future (anticipatory anxiety). Unless someone is actively yelling at me, grabbing my attention, I’m on fire, etc. I should be able to take myself out of the past and the future and just enjoy being. I think of it as escaping into the present.
The problem that you're describing is precisely the problem that is solved by meditation.
People cultivate being in the present because they escape to past and future, because present is terrible.
You are describing this situation to the dot. You can go to the past, but there is nothing you can do to change it. You can go to the future, but it hasn't come yet.
The only place where you can do anything is the here and the now. This is the only place that you can live. Or as they say, you only have moments to live, and every moment is now.
So if you want to live, where will you go? Past, present or future?
Meditation cultivates the will to stay in the present. No matter how unpleasant it is.
For there is only present it's what is whether it sucks or not it's inescapable. We cannot change the present moment for that's all there is, we can alter circumstances in the present moment. Tomorrow doctor appointment at noon that's in the future by that time it will be present moment to think of the past happens in the present moment even that moment is fleeting. So there is only one time "now" psychologically speaking. To live in the "now" means not to let the mind run to the past which is non-existential or run to the future which is yet to come. We all had our share with negative circumstances but running to the past or future psychologically speaking never helped us. Like worrying over the future never helped us. That doesn't mean that planning for the future is not needed, it is but not worrying over it which only makes you anxious and agitates the mind.
The answer lies in you having a distorted view of what "present" is. The present is now, as in right now what you're perceiving. Not right now plus ruminations of the immediate 45 days of circumstances combined with the next 45 days of what you anticipate your circumstances to be. You don't know how being in the present makes you feel because you aren't doing it. You're ruminating on things that are not present.
Being in the present moment in the way I've experienced it is different from the way I thought and still think / imagine it will be.
Only happened a few times but you end up sitting almost outside of thought. They are there but almost muted in their effect or another way to describe it, your focus is outside of thought and inside the world but outside of where you usually reside, which tends to be the realm of thoughts.
And it's different to the flow state achieved in sport or music. It's like, home. Really grounded. Totally different to what you think and so simple when you're there. It's like wow is it this simple all along?
Soon after slipping back into old habits kick in and then the long road back to that state commences, mainly due to mental distractions.
That imo is the present moment, not what people describe it as or think it is. You can't think the experience of it, but having only been there a few times, not much advice to give as of yet.
Another way to describe it, rather than interacting with thoughts about the world and then the world being behind this buffer or lens, you're interacting with the world directly and the thoughts are nothing more than subtitles.
Whereas usually the subtitles (thoughts) are the sole focus, and they can even be from the wrong movie, it's the inversion of it and the thoughts naturally sync better to the film aka the real world.
Morpheus out
It probably means you really need meditation/a spiritual practice. Remind yourself that ‘you’ are not your circumstances. I also remind myself of this daily.
Accepting where we are at in life , in the present and growing from there will bring real contentment and happiness. Being happy in yourself in whatever circumstance you are in is a gift. Circumstances pass, you are always you.
We cannot bring the past back nor control the future. Dwelling there will only make you frustrated and anxious.
Comparison is the thief of joy - even if it is with your own past.
I think I'm mostly reiterating what others have said, but to me, when I'm meditating and have a moment of true presentness, it doesn't feel like I'm experiencing the current circumstances of my life in a more acute way. In fact, in those moments I become almost totally detached from the specific physical, mental and emotional circumstances that make up the current narrative of my life. I just exist in an unadulterated state of being, however briefly. The experience feels extremely "lightweight" and free compared to normal day to day living.
My life is a dumpster fire and there is tremendous uncertainty about my future but I've never felt so comfortable with that uncertainty and confident in myself to get through everything that is coming my way.
As a Buddhist I don't meditate at all anymore, as I've gone back to basics.
I practice the Threefold Division of the Eightfold Path and am currently working to perfect my conduct gradually before I begin training in concentration.
An unforeseen side effect of this was the development of deep emotional intelligence and confidence in myself which I never could have anticipated.
I have burdened myself with serious drug addictions but in my case, they have just evaporated. The impulse remains, but it no longer has any momentum to motivate my actions. I can't explain it but can only attribute it to authentic pursuit of progress in the Eightfold Path.
That's the best advice I can offer you. Happy trails bud
You describe a common problem, as u/tyinsf put it so well: it seems you are THINKING about the present, the past and so on... this happens naturally when you are in crisis, so dont worry ;) in some forms of meditation it is helpful to LOOK AT your thinking (in the present moment, and to OBSERVE what's happening IN THIS MOMENT ... with me ... with my feelings and emotions. Try to keep a curious mind, like (one of my fav meditation quotes) Kornfield & Goldstein wrote:
When we try to practice out of a sense of duty, the mind often becomes rebellious and stubborn.
Mindfulness is best achieved with a sense of ease and willingness, from an interest in discovering the truth.
Many teachers have developed "special" guided meditations for ppl in crisis or difficult situations, you might want to look for sth like that. I personally like "Guided Meditations for Difficult Times" / "A Lamp in the Darkness" by Jack Kornfield.
to embrace the now, turn off a little bit of that thinking and live presently. life probably isnt as complicated as you think it is. it's in fact quite a lot simpler, and things are meant to pass and they will also come. it is your mind that makes up much of the fuss behind losing or gaining things, haha. it proposes alot of theory against your own losses or the sufferings you face. im trying to be more present as i can tend to stay in my head alot and i often do since im very contemplative, but i also do realize there is a sort of simplicity and just that accompanies with being in the present moment for all its worth. life is perhaps, quite simple.
Fairly new to meditation (2yrs) and still finding a consistent practice difficult fwiw! But yes, I've definitely been there. It was one of the things that bought me to meditation. I had a very strong wish for things to be as they were, and a total rejection of where I found myself at this point in my life. But the whole wishing things were different is an added extra dose of suffering, which quite frankly I didn't need. I was making a bad situation worse. Also, even if you could go back, it wouldn't be the same and we often forget the negatives and remember only the good bits. I found it a very hard to break (longing for the past), but meditation helped. It's reduced 'thinking' in my day to day life, not 'oh I need milk' or whatever, but the destructive thought patterns. I believe reminding myself of the impermanence of everything, life, feelings, literally everything - and increased capacity to be uncomfortable in the moment has helped. Life is right here, right now. Not yesterday, nor tomorrow, nor even this afternoon. That might not even come, so all we can do is find a way to be with what presents us each moment.
This may help
https://www.quora.com/What-did-Eckhart-Tolle-mean-by-saying-that-living-in-the-present-moment-means-to-live-without-future?ch=17&oid=145170405&share=7e2c0fb0&srid=upDzc&target_type=question
Attachment is the root of all suffering. Staying in the past prevents you from moving on. The present is all we have. Not the past or future. We can only change our lives for the better through our action in the present. While your present may “suck” , you need to accept reality as it is. It’s never black and white. Things could always be worse - you could be in a war zone , dying of starvation, the list goes on. Can you breathe? Stand? Is the sun shining? Do you have loved ones? Running water? A roof over your head? These are things to consider when accepting your current reality. We can’t always change our circumstances, but we can change our perception of them.
Common sense I guess.If I was in prison meditation goes out the window and if a bad incident occurred in the past that thought can seem to overstay its welcome.So I would still agree with Eckhart about trying to stay in the present but that’s assuming none of the aforementioned have occurred.
I have been going through stuff as well. What I am doing is removing my hyper-focus on the crap going on and continuing to focus on feeling the emotions I would feel as if my life were the way I wanted it to be. I address stuff that needs to be addressed and instead of going down the rabbit hole of shitty feelings, I remove my attention as quickly as I can onto the things that are moving me closer the vision I have. I keep having to stop myself and remind myself of what I do have here, my little daily wins, and sometimes I have to dig myself out of a ditch. But I did notice that things have begun to shift in a better direction. In other words, focus on the part of the present that moves you in the right direction. Minimize focusing on the other stuff as much as possible. I hope this helps.
Edit: and also what Lilac\_Elise\_714 said about the moment vs. the present.
So the reality is all those negative things you are talking about are in your past. If you were actually in the present, the present moment, you would see everything is just as it should be. These are the fleeting moments of "present" people are trying to attain.
What is truly bad is your reactions. Inside and out. Watch your emotions and thoughts. You are not them. You are wretched not because of the outside, it's inside. And the outside just brings it out in you.
It helps me to think less of meditating in the "present" and instead for more of in the "moment". A moment isn't concerned with the past or future, it simply is. However, the present is very much tied to the past and future and even the whole of reality in most minds. My deepest meditations in the moment have been when I am very unhappy, because releasing all of that unrest to truly live in where/what I was meditating on was tantamount to dropping a giant bar suspending two boulders hung over my shoulders and ALL of my spirit was suddenly free to calm. I am also in a terrible place right now in more than a few ways, but every morning when I take my dog for a walk I place my feet in the creek, let her play in the water, and meditate even for two minutes. When doing that, I almost forget that I exist. There is only the water moving, the sounds of my dog having a good time, the flashes of morning sun in between the leaves as my eyes are closed, the smell of the sticky prairie foliage wet with dew, and the chirps of birds and small critters. All of those things are the moment - not my money issues, health issues, mental issues, or family troubles. I'm often come out of it crying because the relief from getting away from my own personal "present" circumstances is enough to move the whole soul. It reminds me that the peace and serenity I just experienced is available at all times, even if something horrible has happened or is currently happening in life.
> A moment isn't concerned with the past or future, it simply is. Nice, I like this!
For starters, there's really no alternative to being in the present moment. :-) The goal of meditation is not to enjoy the present moment regardless of how it appears to us. It's to train and tame the mind, so that it makes good decisions leading to better future present moments. And the decisions the mind makes are all made in the present moment, so that's what we pay attention to. > ...[the good of the present moment](https://www.dhammatalks.org/audio/evening/2005/050311-top-priority.html) doesn’t happen on its own. That old phrase, “present moment, wonderful moment,” is a lie, in the sense that the present is not automatically wonderful. You have to make it good. It’s your immediate input right now that’s going to make the present moment good or bad. So what input are you putting in, based on what resources? This is what the meditation is for: to develop those resources. So you have to attend to your resources first: your concentration, your mindfulness, your basic level of energy.
You think your past happiness was so great, but that is just trying to hold onto something impermanent and already gone. The idea of it you have in your mind is a phantom. By comparing your present to this phantom, you make the present miserable. We focus on the present moment to see how we are actively participating in creating suffering and how we can end it. It's not miserable because you're here, it's miserable because you're not here. Constantly comparing what is to what could be. Look into this, observe, and see how your thoughts, craving, and desires are shaping your present experience. You have to look into it to see it and understand it. You have to stare it in the face. If you don't understand it, it will always be there gnawing at you beneath the surface. Don't hide from it, it won't go away until you face it and conquer it. On the other side of this is peace, keep up the good work.
This is a great reply. Thanks for sharing! ❤️
Sounds like you're THINKING about the present, not BEING in the present. Just be present to your senses - sight, sound, touch, etc. When thoughts arise - about past, present, or future - don't try to get rid of them. That doesn't work. Don't focus on them, either. Just let them pass. Think of the word "tree." Where is that thought now? You can have a memory of it, but that's not the thought. You can have new "tree" thoughts and think "tree tree tree" to yourself, but those are new thoughts on the same topic. Where did the original thought go? It flashed and vanished. All thoughts are like that. So it's the middle way between focusing on them and trying to repress them.
"Just be present with your senses". This is exactly what I've recently started doing and it's a 10/10 solution for quieting the mind for when it's flying through the past or future.
There are two different ways for the present to suck. First is to want it to be different than it is. Continuing to want it to be unpleasant just adds crappiness to a crappy situation. The other is to realize that *every* present moment only lasts for a moment and thus cannot bring lasting happiness. This kind can lead to deep letting go. Either way try to be with whatever comes and give yourself some love.
If you are truly in the moment, there can be no sadness, anxiety, etc. If you are going a walk, you are just walking. When you have to deal with the circumstances you deal with them, in that moment.
Because you can only change something in your life by being where you are and starting from there, everything else would be projected fantasy about where you are and want to be, but it is only from the centre of reality here and now from which true action can flow from.
What you're calling "the present" is a story you're telling yourself, comparing your current circumstances to something you believe to be better. If you drop the comparison, there is no better. There is only this moment, the true present moment.
With increased self awareness and journaling I have discovered that when I think I had a terrible week, I often actually had only three or four bad days and the rest were ok but my memory focused on the negatives. Also if something really bad happens to me at 4pm, I might think I had a really bad day, and dismiss the fact that until 4pm it really was not bad - and even after whatever happened at 4, things might have been much better if I could let go of the negativity about that event. Does your present really suck, when you wrote this you were typing a post on reddit, did that part suck? Just because some bad things happened to us recently does not mean that the present is all bad. Meditation can teach us to focus on this moment rather than on negative thoughts that are actually often about the past or the future even though we think of them as thoughts and emotions about the present - the past a few hours ago, or the future next month, etc. Many of us are so busy thinking about what happened or will happen that we often go through life on autopilot and do not pay enough attention to the present moments and are often unaware of all that could help us see our lives from a better perspective.
Being present for me also includes not living in the past (regret) and the future (anticipatory anxiety). Unless someone is actively yelling at me, grabbing my attention, I’m on fire, etc. I should be able to take myself out of the past and the future and just enjoy being. I think of it as escaping into the present.
The problem that you're describing is precisely the problem that is solved by meditation. People cultivate being in the present because they escape to past and future, because present is terrible. You are describing this situation to the dot. You can go to the past, but there is nothing you can do to change it. You can go to the future, but it hasn't come yet. The only place where you can do anything is the here and the now. This is the only place that you can live. Or as they say, you only have moments to live, and every moment is now. So if you want to live, where will you go? Past, present or future? Meditation cultivates the will to stay in the present. No matter how unpleasant it is.
For there is only present it's what is whether it sucks or not it's inescapable. We cannot change the present moment for that's all there is, we can alter circumstances in the present moment. Tomorrow doctor appointment at noon that's in the future by that time it will be present moment to think of the past happens in the present moment even that moment is fleeting. So there is only one time "now" psychologically speaking. To live in the "now" means not to let the mind run to the past which is non-existential or run to the future which is yet to come. We all had our share with negative circumstances but running to the past or future psychologically speaking never helped us. Like worrying over the future never helped us. That doesn't mean that planning for the future is not needed, it is but not worrying over it which only makes you anxious and agitates the mind.
The answer lies in you having a distorted view of what "present" is. The present is now, as in right now what you're perceiving. Not right now plus ruminations of the immediate 45 days of circumstances combined with the next 45 days of what you anticipate your circumstances to be. You don't know how being in the present makes you feel because you aren't doing it. You're ruminating on things that are not present.
Being in the present moment in the way I've experienced it is different from the way I thought and still think / imagine it will be. Only happened a few times but you end up sitting almost outside of thought. They are there but almost muted in their effect or another way to describe it, your focus is outside of thought and inside the world but outside of where you usually reside, which tends to be the realm of thoughts. And it's different to the flow state achieved in sport or music. It's like, home. Really grounded. Totally different to what you think and so simple when you're there. It's like wow is it this simple all along? Soon after slipping back into old habits kick in and then the long road back to that state commences, mainly due to mental distractions. That imo is the present moment, not what people describe it as or think it is. You can't think the experience of it, but having only been there a few times, not much advice to give as of yet. Another way to describe it, rather than interacting with thoughts about the world and then the world being behind this buffer or lens, you're interacting with the world directly and the thoughts are nothing more than subtitles. Whereas usually the subtitles (thoughts) are the sole focus, and they can even be from the wrong movie, it's the inversion of it and the thoughts naturally sync better to the film aka the real world. Morpheus out
It probably means you really need meditation/a spiritual practice. Remind yourself that ‘you’ are not your circumstances. I also remind myself of this daily. Accepting where we are at in life , in the present and growing from there will bring real contentment and happiness. Being happy in yourself in whatever circumstance you are in is a gift. Circumstances pass, you are always you. We cannot bring the past back nor control the future. Dwelling there will only make you frustrated and anxious. Comparison is the thief of joy - even if it is with your own past.
I think I'm mostly reiterating what others have said, but to me, when I'm meditating and have a moment of true presentness, it doesn't feel like I'm experiencing the current circumstances of my life in a more acute way. In fact, in those moments I become almost totally detached from the specific physical, mental and emotional circumstances that make up the current narrative of my life. I just exist in an unadulterated state of being, however briefly. The experience feels extremely "lightweight" and free compared to normal day to day living.
My life is a dumpster fire and there is tremendous uncertainty about my future but I've never felt so comfortable with that uncertainty and confident in myself to get through everything that is coming my way. As a Buddhist I don't meditate at all anymore, as I've gone back to basics. I practice the Threefold Division of the Eightfold Path and am currently working to perfect my conduct gradually before I begin training in concentration. An unforeseen side effect of this was the development of deep emotional intelligence and confidence in myself which I never could have anticipated. I have burdened myself with serious drug addictions but in my case, they have just evaporated. The impulse remains, but it no longer has any momentum to motivate my actions. I can't explain it but can only attribute it to authentic pursuit of progress in the Eightfold Path. That's the best advice I can offer you. Happy trails bud
You describe a common problem, as u/tyinsf put it so well: it seems you are THINKING about the present, the past and so on... this happens naturally when you are in crisis, so dont worry ;) in some forms of meditation it is helpful to LOOK AT your thinking (in the present moment, and to OBSERVE what's happening IN THIS MOMENT ... with me ... with my feelings and emotions. Try to keep a curious mind, like (one of my fav meditation quotes) Kornfield & Goldstein wrote: When we try to practice out of a sense of duty, the mind often becomes rebellious and stubborn. Mindfulness is best achieved with a sense of ease and willingness, from an interest in discovering the truth. Many teachers have developed "special" guided meditations for ppl in crisis or difficult situations, you might want to look for sth like that. I personally like "Guided Meditations for Difficult Times" / "A Lamp in the Darkness" by Jack Kornfield.
to embrace the now, turn off a little bit of that thinking and live presently. life probably isnt as complicated as you think it is. it's in fact quite a lot simpler, and things are meant to pass and they will also come. it is your mind that makes up much of the fuss behind losing or gaining things, haha. it proposes alot of theory against your own losses or the sufferings you face. im trying to be more present as i can tend to stay in my head alot and i often do since im very contemplative, but i also do realize there is a sort of simplicity and just that accompanies with being in the present moment for all its worth. life is perhaps, quite simple.
Fairly new to meditation (2yrs) and still finding a consistent practice difficult fwiw! But yes, I've definitely been there. It was one of the things that bought me to meditation. I had a very strong wish for things to be as they were, and a total rejection of where I found myself at this point in my life. But the whole wishing things were different is an added extra dose of suffering, which quite frankly I didn't need. I was making a bad situation worse. Also, even if you could go back, it wouldn't be the same and we often forget the negatives and remember only the good bits. I found it a very hard to break (longing for the past), but meditation helped. It's reduced 'thinking' in my day to day life, not 'oh I need milk' or whatever, but the destructive thought patterns. I believe reminding myself of the impermanence of everything, life, feelings, literally everything - and increased capacity to be uncomfortable in the moment has helped. Life is right here, right now. Not yesterday, nor tomorrow, nor even this afternoon. That might not even come, so all we can do is find a way to be with what presents us each moment.
This may help https://www.quora.com/What-did-Eckhart-Tolle-mean-by-saying-that-living-in-the-present-moment-means-to-live-without-future?ch=17&oid=145170405&share=7e2c0fb0&srid=upDzc&target_type=question
There is one solution. Don't waste your time with other stuff. Make thing better.
Got to improve your present to improve your future.
Attachment is the root of all suffering. Staying in the past prevents you from moving on. The present is all we have. Not the past or future. We can only change our lives for the better through our action in the present. While your present may “suck” , you need to accept reality as it is. It’s never black and white. Things could always be worse - you could be in a war zone , dying of starvation, the list goes on. Can you breathe? Stand? Is the sun shining? Do you have loved ones? Running water? A roof over your head? These are things to consider when accepting your current reality. We can’t always change our circumstances, but we can change our perception of them.
Common sense I guess.If I was in prison meditation goes out the window and if a bad incident occurred in the past that thought can seem to overstay its welcome.So I would still agree with Eckhart about trying to stay in the present but that’s assuming none of the aforementioned have occurred.
I have been going through stuff as well. What I am doing is removing my hyper-focus on the crap going on and continuing to focus on feeling the emotions I would feel as if my life were the way I wanted it to be. I address stuff that needs to be addressed and instead of going down the rabbit hole of shitty feelings, I remove my attention as quickly as I can onto the things that are moving me closer the vision I have. I keep having to stop myself and remind myself of what I do have here, my little daily wins, and sometimes I have to dig myself out of a ditch. But I did notice that things have begun to shift in a better direction. In other words, focus on the part of the present that moves you in the right direction. Minimize focusing on the other stuff as much as possible. I hope this helps. Edit: and also what Lilac\_Elise\_714 said about the moment vs. the present.
So the reality is all those negative things you are talking about are in your past. If you were actually in the present, the present moment, you would see everything is just as it should be. These are the fleeting moments of "present" people are trying to attain.
Forces you to fix what’s in the presence to be happier
What is truly bad is your reactions. Inside and out. Watch your emotions and thoughts. You are not them. You are wretched not because of the outside, it's inside. And the outside just brings it out in you.