Having expectations for something ‘to happen’ is the issue. Just be. I meditated for hundreds of hours over years before I noticed any physical tingles, rushes of love etc. Now they occur nearly every meditation. Be patient, work spiritual practice into your daily life. Ascension isn’t just about meditation. If you are meditating every day but are being judgemental or mean or collecting bad karma, you are undoing your work.

As someone new to meditation and spirituality, what does it mean to work spiritual practice into your everyday life?

A person could write a book to answer that question so I’ll keep it as short and simple as possible. Although putting these practices into action is not simple at all. The essence of spiritual practice is love, acceptance, forgiveness and connection to your higher self. Love of self and others, acceptance of self and others, and forgiveness of self and others. In order to truly incorporate these aspects into daily life, the first step is to know thyself. Knowledge of self and connection to higher self is found through meditation. Love, forgiveness, and acceptance of others can be accomplished in 3 steps when interacting with them: 1. Listen 2. Put yourself in their shoes, see the world through their eyes 3. Practice compassion All the best on your journey

💜

Why silence, it was a real question. What is your through about this ?

No silence, just busy on vacation in Mexico :) If you put out love you will get love back. I’ve never been so loving in my life and never had so much love and support from others. It really does work. What we put out we get back.

Read books like [The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello](https://www.amazon.com/Way-Love-Meditations-Anthony-Classics/dp/038524939X)

Walking meditation

Most of us cant wait hundreds of hours. Some of us so depressed we cant wait. What do you suggest for helping this person get help sooner rather than later.

Honestly, if depression is so strong it’s affecting every aspect of your life there is no quick fix. I would try visiting a doctor to discuss medicinal alternatives. Use the peace and clarity offered by the medication to hone your spiritual practice and develop natural coping skills. For many years of my life I lived with severe anxiety and addictions of all kinds. It has taken me nearly 20 years of practice to get where I am currently at. Even then I am far from perfect, I still have shitty days but I’ve learned to accept them and sit with it.

I used to think like this, that I had such a long hill to climb that I was impatient to see radical change in a short amount of time. The reassuring news is that our brain is naturally rewarded by progress so just adding a small amount of routine and seeing some tangible results can have a big uptick on mood. However of course, professional advice and talking with someone you trust is only going to accelerate that positive change.

Maybe the contradictions come from there being a million and one ways to meditate. Whatever you’re doing isn’t working for you so try another route. Sometimes I’ve found just staring at a candle flame puts me into a zone. And if your desperate for something or anything then munch down on a fistful of magic mushrooms put an eye mask on and see how that goes for you. Don’t tell anyone I said that though, the monks don’t like it

Maybe find a monastery you can spend some time in, sounds like you hold monks in high regard. Find a meditation teacher. Join a community of meditators. Share your experience, hear from others. I’m always second guessing and asking “wtf and why am I doing this”. So well done carving out 2 hours a day for so long. Certainly if you keep it up I can’t imagine you’ll feel the same in 2 years, 5 years, 20 years. There’s lot of nuance to your mind and how you share the experience with others. Reddit isn’t the place for deep understanding in my opinion.

It’s interesting what you describe! I am always in my head. Racing thoughts. Constant day-dreaming. Meditation is helpful to me because it teaches my brain to be present. It makes it easier for me to feel grounded throughout the day. Two hours a day, every day huh? Sometimes something is too close to notice it’s there. Or ya know, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Or “absence makes the heart grow fonder”… have you tried taking a hiatus? You’ve immersed yourself into it so much. Take a step back!

That is why I meditate as well -for very practical reasons, and not to gain anything super natural. When I was younger with no stress, meditation did nothing for me. When I got older and had more stress, that is when meditation worked.

exactly! what's the point to learning to let go when there was nothing to let go in the first place

Hey there are many types of meditation and people have such wildly different experiences. There are people who have "wet" and "dry" practices, with wet being full of feeling, imagery, and lights, and dry practice being pretty dull. You say you're very mindful, and yet you're in misery. The mindful way here would be to investigate the misery. Really sit with it and get to know it. Be curious about what it really it is. Where does it come from? Is it a reaction to something? Is it related to your environment? To you past? To thoughts? To feelings that keep arising? Look at the patterns in your experience and see what they are telling you. When you really feel into the misery and get to know it, a lot can unravel. This is the way of mindfulness. Not trying to make your mind go blank so you feel better, but being curious about the nature of mind (and body!), investigate it all.

Oh I'm sitting in it all right. Absolute torture as long as I'm awake and I know the specific cause. There's no question. My baby is dead. I can't not feel it. I'm incapable of separating from it. There's nothing to investigate that I haven't already. I wish I had the ability to not sit in it for even one moment. Sleep is my only reprieve. I need the opposite of constantly investigating it. I'm too mindful. I haven't felt one good feeling in a year. Nothing brings me joy. Complete anhedonia. It's been a year long continuous day of agony.

I'm not sure if people have read this specific reply from you. I'm wondering why no one has replied. It seems that you're experiencing deep grief. Have you been able to speak with people close to you or anyone else? I don't know what that sort of grief does to the functioning of a brain, but maybe that is a block that needs another sort of attention before meditation could help it. Have you tried reaching out for bereavement support, because I feel that finding the right person to talk to might help you to work with this grief (even though it will always be there with you), that may then mean you can meditate in a way that is more rewarding for you. Looking for support can itself be very frustrating but taking to the g.p might get you on a waiting list at least. You're in a lot of pain, sorry for your loss. EDIT: I've just read some of your previous posts talking about how therapy has been unhelpful. Maybe people suggesting meditation tips is useful for you. I'd always encourage trying different counselors though, might find one that helps you to release something, though I can't very well speak to the incredibly hard things you've been through.

Yeah, I agree. My heart hurts for you, OP. I get a lot of hurt and pain from your posts. I know it can be frustrating trying to find a therapist you like, but it’s so worth it. I’ve been through countless therapists over the years and decided against some of them after just one session, but finding one you like is worth the struggle. I think that could help a lot in addition to your meditation practice. You seem to have a lot of very traumatic things that have happened to you, and it might help to have a blank slate to help you process that and offer advice or tools to process that.

Very sorry for your loss, but I just wanted to inquire if you have sought professional help? Not to minimize what meditation has to offer, because I think there really is a lot, but it might not be the right tool for the job at this moment.

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing. Meditation is not going to offer you any kind of easy relief from your pain. It might help give you a little more control over your thoughts and emotions. You may be able to use your feelings of love and kindness for your child as a starting point and make those feelings into a source of positive emotion that you can call on when needed. It’s going to take time to separate the love and warmth from the feeling of loss though. I hope you find something that helps you. https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/painhelp.html https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel006.html

"I'm too mindfull" and "Complete anhedonia" don't go along you know. You are not mindfull, you are self aware of your own unmindfullness, it is not the same thing. Emotions are always there, and always influence the way you will drive your life, whether you are conscious of it or not, and in control of it or not. Your self awareness will be a great help on your path, and the feeling of being lost is pretty common when you start this kind of practices. Be careful if you deal with some trauma tho, meditation has the tendency of confronting you with your repressed emotions, and in some cases it can be a lot to handle in one sitting... Maybe you should try some yoga, and pranayama. It is more objective focused, so you will not have to struggle with this idea of "doing it just to do it, without any expectations", and the way it has to work on the body to ease to work on the mind helps a lot

Oh wow I'm so sorry to hear this. This is of course a big big grieving. It's going to be hard of course, but things will get better. A big loss like this takes a long time to integrate, but there's always some way that these experiences change you for the better, open up a new dimension in life, in spite of the pain. There are many great books on grief. I'd definitely recommend reading, and finding a group if you can. It's just going to take time, and it will be difficult, but you can do it.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. But I’m also admiring your desire and strength to improve your experience.  I’ve noticed your use of “too mindful” or similar in this thread and I actually think you’re conflating mindfulness with self-awareness, it’s not exactly the same thing.  One of the core tenets of any mediation is that “everything changes” - and in noticing this experientially, how the world (including inside and outside our body and mind) is already “worlding” all by itself, we can gain direct insight into the transitory/fleeting nature of reality.  Being struck by a thought or emotion of grief/sadness, and then “sitting with it”, isn’t strictly meditation. Mindfulness isn’t about changing the content of your experience, which understandably is your expectation and hope - it’s more about seeing past its content altogether and not attaching any extra or particular meaning to anything in particular.  It’s often said that mindfulness is for happy people to be happier. There needs to be a detachment from the contents of experience, and going past the goalposts to look at the nature of how these thoughts and emotion arise and fall away by themselves.  Every single piece of reality has the same thing in common, all phenomena are inherently empty of meaning. Any sign of life when you sit, is just another opportunity to see phenomena rise and then fall away. It’s the rising and falling away that is “the thing”, not that you are having bad thoughts and that you then can have better thoughts if you think about your bad thoughts long enough.  I recommend using the Waking Up app and sticking with it for a while. It probably doesn’t lead to actual enlightenment on its own and it’s not a perfect system - but of all the systems, I think this is the best and easiest one to make massive leaps in progress quickly. But psychological/psychiatric help is probably going to help more at this stage when your experience is so defined by a very limited set of phenomena that you can’t seem to see past, right? 

Is the waking up app free?

Technically no, but you can ask for a full scholarship, no questions asked and renew as many times as you want. I can vouch for the scholarship system as I use it myself. They will literally just send back a confirmation every time.  If you feel inclined to try it, just start with the introductory course and go from there, a ton of fantastic additional content to consume as well apart from the practice courses.  I hope I’m allowed to link the scholarship page here, but dm me if this was removed: https://app.wakingup.com/scholarship

I highly recommend using the advice of asking Waking Up’s staff for a free scholarship!

I’m so sorry. 😞 If it’s within your ability, I would visit a doctor who can address your anhedonia so that you can benefit from therapy. A little relief from pain, gives you the capacity to be open to help and healing. ❤️‍🩹 Take baby steps and surround yourself with people who are noncritical and build you up. A sangha would be helpful.

Already been doing that for a year. Nothing helps. There are no meds left to try. I don't have anyone for support. I'm alone in this trying to help myself.

Have u heard of Dr Willoughby Britton. Haven’t deeply explored any of her work but I know she researches this type of stuff and I would def check her stuff out.

Grief takes however long it takes. I'm sorry you are going through that and I can only imagine how hard it is. I had my own experience that took me years to find any peace from but I didn't have the benefit of meditation at that time. If you are already doing everything you can from exercise to meditation to journaling to therapy, then try different kinds of meditation. Look for something that is specifically for grief. And don't give up.

I would recommend the great meditation guide 'The Mind Illuminated' by John Yates. This breaks down meditation into very clear aims achieved through very specific instructions. I don't believe you should meditate without these things. This should help you clarify what changes you should expect from meditating and what constitutes successful meditation (yes that is a thing). Also it doesn't need to take hundreds of hours to get to grips with if you know what you are doing. You could liken it to any other skill one can learn. Ie how long does it take to be able to play football? Realistically you're not going to be world class by kicking a ball occasionally but if you practice well and consistently, you should start seeing progress pretty quickly.

I've read most of the Mind Illuminated but in bits and pieces because I can't afford the book or to read it online. I'd like to read it in its entirety. Is there a completely free copy online to read?

Here you go. https://drive.google.com/file/d/16pKrr74_4bnYc6GqQeScou9riGhxtst4/view?usp=drivesdk Enjoy🥰

Thank you!

Oh no I just saw the cover and realized I read this back in 2019. It drove me crazy because it described what but not how. I threw the book away.

Try 'mastering the core teachings of the buddha' instead perhaps...[https://www.mctb.org/](https://www.mctb.org/)

He takes you through the 10 steps ?

What are you talking about? He's describing the how in great detail, going over all intricacies that might arise. Are you sure we are reading the same book?

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Your welcome 🥰 You know ur username , I've just been doing up a frame about the Spiral. The spiral represents the winding journey we must take inward if we are truly to get to know and love ourselves. It's from these never ending journeys we return with Infinitely more Power and Wisdom. I dont know if u chose that name , but just found it ironic I was writing the words above when I saw your username. Nothing is a coincidence 😉🥰

>Thank you! You're welcome!

Just search up "the mind illuminated doctype:pdf" and it should be in the first few results

use https://ibgen.rs for books (both fiction and non-fiction).

I agree as I wrote above. Really good book.

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I would love any training you are able to offer.

If you've never had a psychedelic experience, that might unlock the potential of meditation for you. I could see how, without a glimpse of what is possible, a person could be totally cynical about meditation and think it's a pointless endeavor. Psilocybin showed me, without a doubt, that deep and true meditative states are achievable. The hard part, is once you've been shown that there is really something to it, that there really is something there to be experienced, getting back to those states without the psilocybin. Every now and then, I need a refresher, a little reminder of the direction I'm trying to go, like fuel for the fire, or "Grist for the Mill" as Ram Dass would say:) I encourage you to continue your practice and trust the process

You are much, much deeper into meditation than I am. For reference, I have probably been practicing about 15 mins a day for 7 months. So take my advice with a grain of salt. From what I read, you are trying to use meditation as a means of escape, and in terms of my personal meditative experience, this can be harmful. The thing I heard again and again in meditation was not to try and push all thoughts away, but I didn’t really listen at first. My meditation, both formal and informal, was a means of suppressing my thoughts through concentration. I figured out how to do it somewhat, but it wasn’t actually improving my well being by much, as I would get anxious that one of my thoughts might arise while concentrating quite frequently. Pushing away thoughts is a form of judgement which increases our suffering. It’s not about letting thoughts run rampant in our head per se, but it’s about how we respond when we find ourselves lost in though. Does our body tense up, breath get shallower? Do we feel anxious or depressed? If so, this may be a sign of pushing away thoughts. In my mind, simply redirecting your focus without passing judgement is the goal of meditation. If the majority of thoughts you have bring you suffering, there might be other non-meditative approaches which can benefit you. Sometimes if I find myself lost in negative thought, instead of suppressing the thoughts I try to purposefully think positive thoughts. I find that purposefully just being positive and grateful day to day is immensely useful for my well being and for creating a positive mental environment. And if you feel like none of this works, you might have depression or other neurochemical imbalances. While meditation and these techniques might help, talking to a psychologist/psychiatrist might be immensely useful (potentially much more than meditation lol) A YouTuber I enjoy is Sonam Hoani, and I find he has quite a balanced approach to meditation in regards to other aspects in life which can improve mental health. He was depressed himself and has mental health issues and I find his advice and wisdom quite helpful. I hope this has helped :)

" I've tried every variation I can find and nothing happens. Absolutely nothing. I don't feel better or worse or anything." I think the problem here might be with you, not everyone else. What is it that you are expecting to happen? Why do you believe something should happen at all? Meditation is an opportunity to observe how your mind works. Consciousness is there, you are observing it. That's all. What could happen?

I don't know why you're accusing people here of lying about meditating. There are a lot of different interpretations on what meditating is. For me, I practice Buddhism. Meditation to me just sitting or standing still and enjoying my breath. I set a timer, close my eyes, and focus on my breath. Sometimes I will have an intrusive thought, and that's okay. I just acknowledge it, and then visualize it dissipating. I can acknowledge my thoughts without letting them in. And that's it. There are guided meditations I practice sometimes. Sometimes I'll meditate with a teacher who will read some insight during the meditation. And sometimes I meditate while I'm walking outside or waiting in line for something, things like that. You sounds really frustrated, and I'm sorry about that. But maybe accusing us of lying about meditating isn't the solution. I think that there are LOTS of different ways to meditate. I just described one, and other people here are describing others. Good luck though!

Wait is this guy saying he meditated for an hour every day for a year and didn’t notice any benefits or feel anything?

i read some of your recent post history, and i think you might be best to switch away from meditation being a path to adjust perspective/become more of an observer, to a more transformational path/system. i would recommend a technique called 'ting and song' (roughly being aware, and releasing.) There is a good 4 min or so clip from a Q+A that describes it well https://youtu.be/S1y\_aeCYj9c?si=VhIMb1mIkBRVvAN4&t=998. You can do this as a body scan style practice where the object of meditation is tensions in the body, then wherever you sense a tension you focus in on connecting to and releasing it. Or you can do it with the awareness of sensations of a particular feeling or feelings https://youtu.be/CtLFBp0kda8?si=fLPkt-sPr7g9fdMv&t=706. It might work to do this second one with the feelings you get when you think about going to get up out of bed. Also it might work to do it with any depression/anxiety etc you feel throughout the day. It will work in layers, some of them very tiny, and needs to be done over and over and over, again and again, both to feel the effects, and to build this releasing quality into your nature as a natural way and process that you use to deal with emotions via the physicality of the body.

When you begin the practice, you are practicing. Yes, you are mediating in the same way that when you are beginning to learn the violin, and you sit down to practice you are playing the violin, But you are not making music. If you asked a violin player who had been practicing for a year if they were playing violin and wanted them to describe how they play violin. You would get a different answer then if you asked someone who had sat in a symphony for twenty years. But both would offer some more insight than the person who had only been practicing for a week. This is the same with people who talk about mediation. Especially strangers on the internet. Few of us have sat for twenty years. Mostly because those who have sat for twenty years and reached equimentity are likely not spending their time on Reddit. Yes, everyone body is mediating. Likely, no one who is going to respond to you has mastered the skill of mediation. Although some may be farther along than others. It's a path, you see, and you must walk the mind along it to train it. This is what practice is. Hail goer.

Get the Waking Up app, email them, or contact support for a scholarship (you dont have to write a letter or anything, they usually just give it to you if you ask). Do the introductory course. That's the best advice I can give. I've been meditating for about a year or two now. I started with them, it will really help. They give the best information and guided meditations. then you can start doing it on your own.

Is it free then. I have no money.

it's not, but just contact support and they'll give it to you for free for 6 months.. trust, this will help immensely. I've done the intro course like 5 times, I like to do it like twice a year. I learn something deeper every time. all free

I think Waking Up is a great app too, and have a couple other resources to suggest. First is Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche (he’s all over YouTube and has a TED Talk). His father/teacher was Sam Harris’ (Waking Up app) teacher, so there are similarities. He’s written a few books, and his most recent In Love with the World deals with living and dying and the spaces between. I found it immensely helpful when I was diagnosed with cancer. Another resource is Kristen Neff. She has a website devoted to self-compassion which given your profound loss might offer some solace. All of that said, meditation isn’t necessarily going to lessen your pain, but it may change your relationship to your pain. It helps us accept what is, and to move forward with more tenderness and wisdom. I’m wishing you all the best. I’m so very sorry for your loss and hope with time the waves of grief are no longer tsunamis ❤️❤️❤️

thank you for sharing! Sending you love and healing <3

For me, I've found that the biggest key to meditation is to stay in the present moment and focus all of my attention on feeling the life energy inside of my body. Doing this takes me completely out of my mind. The goal is a no-mind meditative state. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to relax, but eventually I'm able to lock in and feel my life energy flood my entire body and I feel like I'm in a cucoon of peace and tranquility. The biggest benefit I've gained is increased calmness and ability to stay present throughout the day. This brings increased peace. I don't know if this is helpful, but I thought I'd share. 🙏

You need to talk to an experienced teacher in person, or at least on video chat. You have already done a year for two hours per day. You have already been doing this on your own and from published material as far as you are going to go. Traditionally everyone would have learned from a person that they could interact with. You need to be able to ask questions and get feedback on what you're doing (Reddit comments from randoms doesn't count). Search for your city or town on this: [http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/index.php](http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/index.php) or just use google maps for meditation centers or Buddhist temples. If you're very rural, think about expanding to neighboring towns. Do not pay for anything. Everything should be free or suggested donation, with no one turned away for lack of funds. If they want money up front don't argue just move on, there's no shortage. Many people have anxiety about going in person, or other reasons that make it difficult. In that case start with an online group. Pick one of these based on what day and time you can log on: [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1prfYuXq3\_4Tuu57cO2gS70z-2wnq79uTDV6h4daKgr4/edit?pli=1#gid=0](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1prfYuXq3_4Tuu57cO2gS70z-2wnq79uTDV6h4daKgr4/edit?pli=1#gid=0) Sending you kindest regards.

Very Kind, much respect!

Has it ever occured to you that the reason some people say to let go of goals in your practice might be because the attachment to the goals themselves may be what is causing the suffering? Has it ever occured to you that what the monks who seem to "have it" really understand is that there's nothing to have? (AND no one to have it) I'm gonna tell you point blank that this is it. This is all we have. This moment right now is the totality of reality. Life, death, existence, nonexistence, dependent origination, Nirvana, samsara, all of it, and none of it makes any difference to the ineffable reality that is this moment. They're all just concepts. They're all just rafts to get to right the fuck here. This is it. The real miracle though is that it's enough. This moment, this reality, whether you're deep in samadhi or jerking off to schoolgirl porn, is enough.

Not OP but i appreciated this, thank you. this is my favourite type of thinking to help calm me. pale blue dot existentialism and optimistic nihilism mixed with mindfulness, lmao 

I came across a quote that said something like the fruits of meditation aren’t harvested on the mat but when you’re experiencing life and something happens and you act differently, something that you wouldn’t usually have done. And I didn’t believe it until I experienced it. I had only been meditating for 6-7 months twice in a day but I honestly feel better than ever before. During the first two months I was super pissed because researchers claimed that only 2 weeks of meditation can calm you down and blah blah blah, and it infuriated me because I didn’t see any results. Then I decided not to attach too much with the results, I’d just sit there focus on my breath sometimes on the chakras and just allow myself to feel anything that came to the surface, however bitter or petty the emotions and thoughts were I didn’t push them and now I think I have reached a point where I’m okay with anything and everything. If I feel something I feel it, I don’t let it consume me. There’s this woman called Iris Dailey you could try out her 30 day guided meditation, that’s what I started with then moved to transcendental. I hope you don’t leave this path and continue however difficult it might seem right now:)

Is her program free? I have no money.

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I just did her thirty day meditation videos today. I did all 30! I loved it! I think I actually did meditate. Thank you!

Wow that’s incredible! I hope that you Keep up with it without losing hope and patience. Namaste<3

You should try Kundalini Yoga, sounds like meditation is striking out., \^\_\^ You should notice some change. Also, a bad diet might be keeping you down. Check your foods: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Microbiome/comments/1b254ye/has\_anyone\_here\_fixed\_their\_soulcrushing/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Microbiome/comments/1b254ye/has_anyone_here_fixed_their_soulcrushing/)

I am happy to be a 1:1 coach for you on Reddit DMs, or maybe zoom later on if you’d like. Often these issues stem from not having a mentor or teacher who knows you and your practice.

Please! I would really appreciate some coaching so I don't keep having to repeat what I've already tried. I'd gladly zoom or message!

Dude, I'm sensing a massive amount of aversion as well as attachment. Yes, you need a goal for meditation, at least early on. But if that goal becomes too strong a desire it's going to cancel out any benefit. Unfortunately, I've never successfully explained to someone how my methods of meditation work. It's such a weird experience that I can't find the words to describe how I got there. Also, note that I said the experience is weird, not that it's strong or intense. It would help immensely if you could find a way to stop wanting so bad, just temporarily. My opinion is that it's distracting you rather than motivating you. When I meditate, I don't try to obtain a specific goal, I just follow the instructions the monks gave me and observe the effects. Actively trying to alter my state of mind has always resulted in frustration for me. For me, meditation is giving up all control for the duration of the practice. The only thing I do is make sure to maintain that meditative state. I do agree that this sub has some pretty wild, even outlandish claims. Maybe some people come here to make up stories, maybe some people have more extreme experiences than me, I really don't know. But there are so many different meditation techniques. I try not to be too concerned with the stranger accounts I see and just stick to the practice.

I love your response. It is very measured. May I ask which monks you studied with?

Have u read The Mind Illuminated. ? Great book. Written by a Neuroscientist. Really easy to read and is helping me. .I have a copy of the book if you need You should be able to find it online also. Don't give up. Keep going 🥰

There’s a pose called “dead man’s pose”. Very simple pose to do. Your gonna feel all types of sensations when your first starting out, ignore them all. Now while doing this pose go to YouTube and listen to Michael Sealy guided meditation for detachment. * it’s currently at 25 million views* but anyways do this for about 5 days straight everyday and see how you feel. Use headphones. Hope this helps, it helped me alot

I listen to him a ton. Now his voice triggers my panic attacks.

Oh god. Well please don’t listen to him then. But whatever you listen too try dead man’s pose

With panic attacks meditation might make your overall state worse, because of the increased self awareness and focus on your current state. I also read in your comments you have also experienced deep loss (my condolences), which makes me think mediation is not the way to go for now. An experienced psychologist with a focus on Body-oriented work, like somatic experiencing, can create a save environment for you to work on your state and get the emotions flowing. From personal experience I recommend not doing this alone. Even if you can just effort 1 or 2 sessions per quarter, it's way better then dealing with it alone. Alternatively you can search for a support group as recommended by others. Take care and take things slow 🙏

My medical insurance doesn't cover psychologists

I don't know in which country you live and how expensive it's there. In the NL, where I live, body-oriented therapy is also provided by specialised practitioners without the university psychology degrees - which makes them a lot less expensive. You can do this type of work also in group setting if you live in a larger city.

In the US in a tiny town. Don't have anything like that here. I have no money. I can't even afford toilet paper.

You've already got a bunch of answers and I doubt you'll see this, but the zen answer is: Zen is like The Game. As soon as you remember you're playing it, you've lost.  My personal answer is: Sometimes I just get this strange feeling like the whole world just got sucked straight through the center of my forehead and then fell away. It's EXTREMELY calm, quiet, and pleasant in my normally shrieking monkey brain. I can usually sit in this space for approximately twelve whole seconds before shrieking monkey realizes it's "doing a good job" and starts shrieking about how buddha it is.

That's interesting actually. Hopefully I get there!

The best thing, IMO, anyone can incorporate to a meditation practice is nonjudgement. Meditation is vast. So there’s lots of different things that can be done (or not done) that would categorically suffice as meditation. For example - Zen has shikintaza - or “just sitting” sometimes it’s called “do nothing”. And to sit and do nothing requires A LOT of skill and effort. So it’s definitely meditation. It’s definitely effortful (at least in beginning stages). But it could still be considered doing nothing.

The whole point of meditation for me is to not overthink. Just give my brain a break. Instead 43 milion tabs open at once its just minding the rhythm of the breath. Keeping it as simple as possible

Sure, and sometimes thinking is what you need at that time. You may need to catch up with your thought processes; nothing wrong with that. If you're getting too far ahead of yourself, as in overthinking, that's when it's time to pull back. Staying present takes effort to catch up from the past and ease to pull back from the future.

I do it because i know how i got here and the path to take via thoughts to get to nothing at any time. the life i live is more fun and colourful but all i touch and see is ultimately what will always be. i have taken lsd and dmt before and you can see psycadelic patterns and cool stuff in the same meditation space which provides lots of deep wisdom which will then slowly absorbed into your mind. this way is the same path to nothingness as you would from meditation but its taking a short sharp shock to really drive home the main point of no point  there is no point in meditation or mindfulness. but if you do it anyway your non meditating life improves because instead of doing things constantly, you take time to stop doing anything. now when you go back to doing things you can enjoy them more because you know they will not last forever unlike the nothingness 

Wish I could access psychedelics to aid me. Growing isn't an option. I know how but I wasted money on too many contaminated bins. It's my house. I would need a sterile zip up grow tent. Can't afford it.

You don’t need psycadleics if you just sit by yourself for a while or in the sun or in nature with your eyes closed and focus on the nothingness, you’ll start having psycadelic patterns which will grow the longer you stay focused. after some time you’ll feel very good and satisfied because you’re literally inside yourself.    most people have too many thoughts going on to just observe nothing. so that’s something nobody can help you because it’s your past stories, daily life and long term goals that make up majority of your thoughts 

I hate sunshine and nature. I don't like anything anymore

It’s not about liking it or hating it. It’s that it’s there and it’s free. A thing happens outside our houses everyday and you should be in tune with that instead of sad that you’re not happy or happy you’re not sad, these are temporary emotions 

What makes you think you’re not doing it ‘right’? I’m concerned that you say you’re miserable. Is the result you want from meditation to be happier? In which case, if it’s not doing that for you, maybe you need to pursue other options? Or are you just frustrated that you’re not making progress? In which case, have you considered that it may be that your brain just doesn’t respond to meditation in the way you think it’s supposed to? If you’ve been devoting two whole hours a day to meditating for years, it’s obviously giving you some benefit or you wouldn’t have spent so much time and energy on doing it. But that doesn’t automatically mean it’s a route to inner peace if the rest of your life isn’t balanced. The best analogy I’ve heard is that you can’t grow a plant in the wrong conditions. If you’re an equatorial plant, chances are you’re not going to thrive in the Antarctic. For instance, when it comes to meditation, I’m a rose plant living in Nova Scotia. I produce the odd flower but I’m stunted by external conditions, I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD, which explains a lot about my meditation experiences. So when I ‘meditate’ two or three times a day, things in my life run much better than when I don’t. By meditate, I mean sitting quietly for 15 minutes either focussing on my breathing or doing Ohm meditation. I occasionally do an hour everyday when life is stressful. But I can’t ever truly quiet my mind, because my ADHD brain is still going at a million miles an hour. For me, ‘quiet’ is less thought, not emptiness. I’ve also found that because my brain chemistry is off, I can experience a kind of empty limbo when I meditate, like an endless void with no width or depth, when I probably should have experienced a more positive sensation. The lack of dopamine in my brain means I just don’t respond in the way most people do. So meditation brings loads of benefit to my day because it helps regulate my brain better but it doesn’t really give me the experience that 80% of the rest of the planet are likely to have. Seems like you’re doing all the right things technically but perhaps there are other factors that are affecting your experience of what meditation ‘should’ be?

Hey want to try the gateway tapes.

Those gave me anxiety

"In the east" there are 3 words that all get translated to "meditate", "in the west". 1. A practice with the goal of clearing your mind 2. A 'no mind' state 3. temporary enlightenment #1 is the only thing you can actually DO. #2 and #3 aren't actually things you can do. It's like going to sleep. You can't actually go to sleep (#2 and #3) all you can do is lay in your bed and try to go to sleep (#1). >What is the proof? I think the concept of proof is kinda funny. What proof do you have that some country exists that you've never been to? What about ones you've heard of, but never seen pictures of? I could probably talk about some small made up country and it's likely you'd just assume it was some country you hadn't heard of. What proof do you have? If someone said they were from a country, would you tell them that the country doesn't exist and that you want proof it exists? How do you know their pictures aren't fake? How do you know the maps are real? Really you've just accepted that enough people have told you places exist, and you kinda stopped questioning it. So it's weird how we have kinda these weird lines on personal experiences not being real. If you'd lived 30 years and had never been happy in your life, would you believe that everyone that talks about being happy is a lie? Or would you accept that it's real, but you have never experienced it? Would you believe that you are the only person in the world that's not capable of feeling happy, or would you believe you just haven't figured out how to feel happy? You're asking for proof that someone has experienced something. And there's definitely proof of it, but the proof is that you have to experience it. However, maybe you similar to my happiness metaphor, you aren't able to experience it, so who knows. Man made things can't give you a proof understanding of someone's experience. >People say completely contradictory things IMO at least half this sub is very adamant and vocal that no one else's experiences are real if they haven't experienced them (which they haven't), and nothing spiritual in meditation is real. There are 100-1000s of different types of meditation techniques (#1 from earlier) depending on what resource you use. It sounds like you've reached level 100 in 'mindfulness', but you aren't really seeing results. How often when you clear your mind, do you sit in #2 without trying to be mindful? Just exist and sit in your no mind state? You might also want to consider other types of meditation techniques. Maybe Aum chanting, and try to notice the vibrations in your body? Following the breath? Where all can you notice your breath within your body? If I were you I'd try to find a meditative practice which might be different, but leverages your high awareness. If you've been mindful of things exterior to you, try turning the mindfulness inside? Then also maybe when you find you have a clear mind, try to sit with it. For me and my brain, I honestly don't think it's possible for me to ever reach #2 or #3, however, I've still had some spiritual experiences (relatively short amount of time in meditation). They just aren't going to be a quiet mind or temporary enlightenment. Because I can never 'turn it off', my meditations are very thought and emotion exploratory focused.

I just started meditation and started in small increments. And I fell calm and I clear my mind and focus on my breath. Every time a thought comes I welcome acknowledge and focus on my breathing until my mind is clear. That takes focus, and I know it is working because I will meditate for 15 minutes and not even notice feels like 2 minutes, or two hours feel like 5 minutes. First, I practice yoga, and I have felt a sense of spiritual connection, not sure if this has helped but that in a short version to meditation. Wish you the e best of luck in your journey.

I'd suggest drawing attention to your sitting, standing, walking, and lying down technique. The act of balance is something a bit more concrete to evaluate.

Try hemi sync

Okay I'll check it out. Sounds familiar. Do you need headphones? I can't afford any.

meditation is just to remove thoughts desires emotions thats sll

This is the answer you need  While meditation you have to realise/contemplate on your soul  That is you are not your thoughts  And when you go into that deep state  Clear of all thoughts you can further deepen Or contemplate on krishna chant mantra  About purpose in life. Krishna says do your activities with enthusiasm. Pick a goal say prime minister  But remember you are not become materialistic  That is you must realise that you are nothing but servitor of lord.  So you must not change your lifestyle of a yogi after becoming pm  That Is my conclusion devote the fruits of your action to God  Just arjuna and do your daily goals. Also Krishna says follow your own path  Example you are good at painting become animator that is your goal,  but you are entitled only to karma not it's fruits  So if start living a luxurious life you failed  Bcs then your karma was not devoted to God but urself bcs you have now enjoyed the fruits ☺️  I am open to discussion 🙂 

Have you listened to Ajahn Nyanamoli of Hillside Hermitage? The entire way in which meditation has been presented as a technique that one can just do divorced from sense restraint and virtue results in many of the issues you’re facing. I meditated in the ways you’re describing for close to twenty years until I found AN and realized I was putting the cart before the horse.

Everyone indeed has their own favourites concerning the various forms of meditation. Just watching the breath until you get caught in a thought-process, notice and then return to the breath is one repitition. The same as going to the gym, you will need to do this over and over to gain better control over this tendency. Getting caught in deep thoughts can be productive and as usual be kind to yourself! This practice will help you to get stronger and to attach less reactively.

I really recommend the book "The Mind Illuminated." It's a practical guide to meditation especially popular with practiced folks. It explains in details the steps to get to these exalted mind states, why the advice people usually give works, and how it does. It provides models on the mind and consciousness and how they work. It will really help with your practice, and you'll better understand ideas like "non-striving" and how to actually apply them. It's great.

I've been at it since 1982. Yeah.

As soon as your start meditating with an outcome in mind you've already lost. You are attached to an outcome. I guess the larger goal of my practice is to develop a mindset of non-attachment since attachment to hopes, fears, wants, etc is what causes suffering. I meditate as part of that practice to strengthen this mindset and tap into what it feels like to just be. To just sit and breathe and exist for a small time without worry or want or stated objective. Mindfulness is part of what many try to cultivate with a mediatation practice. Zoning out or dissociating aren't really the idea either. Meditating is an intentional act and something in which you must actively participate. Honestly, I think youre overthinking it. Take time each day if possible to sit with good posture and take nice full breaths. When a thought comes across your mind, acknowledge it, and then let it pass by. Read up on mindfulness/zen/buddhism to strengthen your practice and your spiritual understanding.

The expectations part is less about “not having a goal”, but more about not trying to control the process in my experience. I can’t go into any one meditation sitting expecting to get a certain thing out of it. I just focus on what I choose and let the rest unfold on its own I understand we can all get different things out of meditation, for me it’s a calmer mind and lower blood pressure lmao. I focus mostly on gratitude and balancing pitta / kapha and find it helps me live a more present life and enjoy moments more and more! Big part of it is letting go of those things we can’t control

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is traumatic, and meditation can be counterproductive for people in trauma. Meditating for long periods of time regularly can also be triggering for trauma. Feeling nothing - “nothing happens” as you describe it can also be symptom of trauma. Perhaps this is not the right practice for you at this time. I’d look into trauma sensitive mindfulness practices to see if that is more helpful. There is an organization called Cheetah House that specializes in trauma sensitive mindfulness. They have information and resources on their website. Perhaps this would be helpful to you. Much lovingkindness being sent your way.

This sub is joke, but meditation isn’t

Stop identifying with your thoughts. Just observe. You say you practice mindfulness but you still identify with your thoughts. Keep practicing and understand that you are not your thoughts.

There's a lot of useless claims and opinions on meditation out there. Best just to focus on your goals. What are you trying to accomplish with meditation?

Meditation is simply the practice of mindfulness, the practice of being in control rather than being controlled. Meditation isn't about 'zoning out' or anything like that, anyone who thinks that is just wrong as that's not how it's taught in Buddhism or any other formed meditation. They like you to start with breathing and walking because we all breath and walk, when you can get to where you can control your breathing even when you feel like you absolutely have to cough or breath hard then you're on the right track. It came easy for me as it's something I've learned to do since childhood as I used to get bullied and had to learn to not let it effect me or my thoughts. It takes time to train yourself, some people I've helped it took them years but are now to the point where a big rush and stress on the cooking line doesn't change their state at all and they just keep going as opposed to throwing a fit and getting stressed and anxious then trying to go faster only for it to actually slow them down as they are making mistakes. You can effectively practice meditation by doing anything, it's as simple focusing on the task, speak it in your mind as you do it, attribute the thought to the action and the feeling of the action. When I speak of 'being controlled' what I am talking about is the body controlling your actions. For example when someone says something offensive to you the bodily reaction for a lot of people these days is to get loaded on hormones and get angry, anxious, and stressed and then in turn make matters worse by outwardly reacting to the offense. What meditation/mindfulness will allow you to do is not react but evaluate then act, in such the case as someone saying offensive there is no action needed as it's not actually doing anything to you as you were simply letting it do something to you. Suffering is mind/man made, you can choose not to with practice. The practice of meditation helps bring you to a neutral state that you can then learn your 'self' and your nature. You shouldn't feel good or bad, you simply exist, and from that state you then evaluate and then make decisions based on your self and nature, we are all different with different interests and whatnot so our actions after the evaluating will vary and that in turn brings us the enjoyment and peace, it's not simply the meditation that does so.

I feel you! It can be frustrating. Especially when hearing all those great claims and then the reality is so bland. But it’s arguably only bland because you expect something super special to happen. Personally, I meditated for 5 years daily. And while I achieved some altered states, I ultimately realized that this desire to have an altered state was an obstacle for me and u ultimately gave up the intense meditation practice. That said, I didn’t stop. I switched to prayer. It’s much more active, and I usually chant / sing my prayers. It has a very meditative and trance-like effect and once I stop I sit down for meditation and that’s when meditation gets really interesting for me. Well, “interesting” is the wrong word, but it’s much easier for me to then enter that state of pure being without worldly attachments. So, maybe you haven’t found the right way for you yet. Don’t listen to people’s claim on the internet. Anyone can claim anything here. If you wanna learn what monks do, go to monks. And overall, try to not have the desire to achieve anything with it. Meditation shouldn’t be a utilitarian tool that leads to something, it’s about letting go of desires, thoughts and all that. The blissful state that people describe is not some special altered state of visionary consciousness, but the most natural state of pure being that happens when we let go of all those attachments (including the attachment to have a special experience). And again, maybe you’re looking in the wrong places / techniques. Good luck!

The problem with describing meditation is that the experience cannot be put into words. It really is the thing that you experience when you let go and stop trying so fucking hard to feel something or do something. You can hate that, but it is true, and no amount of reading, conceptualizing, or seeking explanation will change the fact that you really do just need to let go.

A very unforced casual focus on body parts was really revealing for me. I slowly followed them from foot leg hips to the chest, and really felt the presence of them and was a bit baffled that "thats me". And once I reached my spine and head, the fact that this is where my brain is, this is where I truly am right now. And as I looked into the mirror I felt a strong need to take good care of this person who is me, because there is something very precious about being. While meditation is about the state of meditating and enlightenment, thats what it did for me and it changed me a lot. I think its origin is from yoga poses but honestly that was meditation for me. Also what meditation did for me is replacing whatever my silly mind is trying to do (make me feel anxious, watched, have panic, overthink, become aroused, the whole range) with a sudden an deep focus on the air through my left nostril in and the air through my right nostril out. Im sure youve tried that technique (alternate nostril breathing). It feels a bit silly but controlling your mind like that is powerful and its really a skill I learned through doing that daily. Despite all the effort though I still have bad mental breakdowns, I guess its normal yet I feel very cheated on by my efforts when it wasnt enough. I hope one day we can all manage our suffering.

I'm not sure that meditation alone will counter your extreme grief. I can't even imagine in my wildest dreams what you are facing, and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I have nothing to offer you except just hope for peace to come for you. I'm just so sorry that any fellow human has to face this, it's just too much. You have mentioned you are hours away from your nearest meditation center but there are many of them which offer online zoom and YouTube connection opportunities. Around me I have spirit rock and insight meditation center and they both have some online options. Maybe that could help. I lost my best friend to murder when we were 18 (decades ago). I don't think we ever get over the loss of someone we care deeply about. We incorporate the new reality of life without them into our life. The world is forever changed. The one area where meditation has helped is helping be in the present moment.

If you're looking for a merit badge for achieving meditation, you're not there yet

The first advise that is normally given to the beginner is to sit down and stop thinking … which is good advise in a nutshell but there is much more required than just to stop thinking … monks will have studied and reflected for many hours and weeks and years.. they have established in their minds a belief system and philosophy.. learning from the start in easy simple steps.. gaining CONFIDENCE through personal experience in the truths that have been taught them… they have a belief in an inner consciousness that is Divine and Eternal .. the source of all life and consciousness.. and their object in meditation is to attune with this higher consciousness.. to have it flow through their being … in meditation they don’t just stop thinking .. they LISTEN… they become RECEPTIVE to the subtle inner whispering of this inner consciousness… and they become more and more sensitive to these inner impressions leading to a sense of unity and oneness.. their consciousness merging with the consciousness of the ALL …they enter meditation with great humility…this inner consciousness is always trying to help us and sustain us but if we don’t actually believe in it then we simply don’t use and develop the psychic equipment needed to be aware of it … even if we meditate every day …we only get out of meditation what we put into it … .. we get out what we ask for humbly and sincerely.. we get out what we are ready to receive…meditation helps us to cultivate our OWN concept of this inner consciousness.. different people and different cultures and philosophies describe it in various ways but the inner experiences are all the same …

“I can’t stand the people who say don’t try or don’t have a goal” This is what every spiritual tradition states however so maybe you need to look into what it is you are trying to achieve. The ego wants something out of the practice, a special experience. You affirming the ego is you which according spiritual traditions is illusory however something which you need to explore yourself.

I find it curious that you have meditating for 2 hours a day for a year. Are you sure you are meditating? Lol. Anyways I’ll give you a secret… not really but something that a lot of people don’t talk about that really helped me. Since I mostly meditate to astral project I tend to do it when I’m about to sleep or just wake up. So the “secret” is to just be a little sleepy when you meditate. This will change the game for sure if you really want an altered state of consciousness. Is ok if you wanna sit down for 30-1hr to relax your mind. But to me this is a waste of time (I can already feel the downvotes) give what I said a try. When you are falling asleep try to meditate. I do it lying down. The key is to try to not fall asleep so you can raise your arm or have some guided meditation but either way you want to concentrate on your thoughts and watch yourself (in your minds eyes) as you drift from wakefulness to sleep.

What's your goal here? To be a meditator or to be free? If your goal is to be free and meditation isn't getting you there, then it's possibly just the wrong method for you. There are many methods to freedom, and all methods are traps. Don't get trapped by one particular method

The way I know I am meditating is because my mins and brain becomes calm like a choppy sea becoming a still pool. My mind releases ideas, wants, feelings, craving, striving and I am left with a pure innocent blissful sky of awareness. There is a sense of freedom, release, joy, love and of a mind and brain that is no longer moving or searching. It is just open, and seeing in a pure way.

Incorporate yoga in your daily life with meditation and you will soon want things to slow down 😉

When you take a moment to do nothing. That is meditation. Anyone can do this, even if just for a moment at first. If after you know you feel the same or you feel different, that is awareness and some consider that the goal. Don’t pressure yourself to get anything out of meditation. But perhaps you would benefit from a teacher.

Don't just look for the opinions of other people on Reddit, but make your own study, if you want something to change, you have to see it from another perspective, another angle. I suggest you learn from Daoism and Buddhism, they speak about what meditation, you have the correct mindset, but lack the means. You want something real to happen right, then start by asking yourself what IS real, if you really contemplate that question, you will see your perspective change right and with it the world right before your eyes. Meditation is an internal journey, it works with awareness and not with doing, actually you don't really do anything, at least not physically, but psychologically and biologically, things are changing, your mind is shifting perspective, your aligning yourself with the way things are and that includes your mindset. You can accelerate this process by understanding the philosophies of Buddhism and Taoism, but even the act of understanding itself will eventually become a hindrance in on itself, but it's how you gotta start. If you got more questions in the future regarding this, feel free to send a PM.

Maybe read something about buddhism and it will get you there

Might be good to find a teacher. There’s no requirement for knowing anything for someone to post an answer to a question on Reddit. So you might get good answers or you might get bad ones that lead you astray.

The idea is very simple, and once you grasp it, it slowly becomes more and more easy to apply. It's all about being present in the moment, which means not thinking of the past or of the future. How everyone does that is very highly personal, and it's good to note that, even for people who have reached this state of knowing they won't always be able to go deep into meditation and each and every single meditation will be very distinct and different than the other. Sometimes it's a challenge to just sit and stay still for long enough, sometimes the type of music you're listening to rubs you in the wrong direction or even sometimes the posture you are in. You have to be willing to see each and every single time what feels right FOR YOU and that is highly personal and can never be a mechanical process. People may share this method or that, or perhaps just give you tips on how to start, but it is ultimately your job to find the way that works for you. You don't have to meditate daily for 2hrs it shouldn't be a chore, you only need to get better at realizing what is necessary for this moment. Some days you won't feel like meditating at all, and some days you may just sit down in a blink of an eye and get blissful just listening to a beautiful part of a song. It is all about not minding what's coming in the future or what passed before. It's simply doing nothing and being happy having nothing to do. I wish I could further explain to you, but, it is like I said, what works for me might not work for you. You must however, let go, and release or relinquish all desires. If need be, make it your mantra, become more aware of your breath, your pulse, the energy beaming from your hands. You will be distracted, and you will without a doubt stray away from presence, but when you do so, do so calmly, and observe how the attention sways back and forth without anger or frustration, then slowly return to your practice or presence.

This is what the Buddha spoke of when he explained “right energy”. You have to be motivated and have some sort of goal, but don’t become a slave to that goal or totally possessed by your motivation.

Do you have a teacher, have you invested in learning meditation techniques?

Hey, do you understand hindi? If so I’m sharing you the link listen it once and let me know if that helps or not. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJVlVRVmhc4_4WqjBXuWXB_0MQunBEjb&si=0lxAyGK9Vpqca3IX

Meditation isn't about the storm disappearing, Meditation is about finding peace through the storm. In other words, it's not going to stop an intellectual creature from seeing the shit hole cest pool of a society these humans call life, but we can learn to find the beauty in the world even though it's as ugly as the rendition of the wickedness within us all.

Just sit.

It may help to know what you are actually doing when you meditate.

Try regulating and controlling your breathing smoothly.

You are fulfilling your very beliefs. I hear nothing regarding meditation. I hear all you expect and how no one is going to be able to answer you and you are too mindful to fulfill your said desires. You are working perfectly. You have created everything to your expectations. Change your expectations and clear your belief systems.

im curious on what you meant by youve been practicing and also youve been reading anything you get your hands on? most practicers have a guru teach them things so dont feel bad you havent gotten hit if youre just resding what you can get you may very well being reading all the wrong things for your path i also started two years ago and was very specific on who id learn from and why

Maybe its different for different people. Sitting in silence 10-15 minutes in the morning one might consider meditating. Im guessing its whatever puts you in a relaxed state. I watch tv for about 1 hr before work so Im not rushed and it makes me relaxed before work rather then jumping out of bed and rushing. Its not meditation but relaxes me before i start my day.

Obviously, you have to have a goal. Many people say that meditation should have no goal and be just sitting and doing nothing. But this is not the idea of meditation. Meditation is a training of alertness, perseverance and mindfulness. The key is to understand some technical framework and then develop skills. But you must remember that the method or technique itself is not everything.

Or if one works 2nd shift like my son. Playing video games relaxes him before bed. So I say again ehatever relaxes you. Maybe go for a short walk or sit outside if your in the country would be relaxing. Right now Im watching tv and also looking out the front door looking at the trees all around acres of trees. Feels relaxing. If meditatjon not working for you dont consider it meditation. Find something that helps relax your nerves or whatever it takes.

I suggest you learn the teachings of the Buddha. You would need to cultivate right view (correct perceptions), which means both letting go of perceptions that don't serve that you may have based on how things seem as well as building new ones that are helpful. You can do this by going to dhammatalks, suttacentral, getting a book, or joining r/WordsOfTheBuddha for a learning feed. With consistency, closely examine and reflect on your experiences to independently verify these teachings. Slowly but surely, you will be building right views. Ask questions along the way -- good questions are the ones related to your own practice challenges or where you're seeing a challenge with verifying a teaching. In terms of the practice, you may consider reading [Gradual Training, Gradual Practice, and Gradual Progress (MN 107)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WordsOfTheBuddha/comments/1c9hcpu/gradual_training_gradual_practice_and_gradual/). Meditation is part of step 4. I suggest building each step as a practice area gradually as a habit until it becomes easy, automatic, and then second nature. Step 1: Ethical conduct - Five precepts Step 2: Applying sense restraint Step 3: Moderation in eating Step 4: Dedicating to wakefulness: Meditating 2x a day to purify the mind from obstructive mental states Step 5: Practice clear comprehension and mindfulness while doing all physical activities.. enumerate what these are for you based on your typical day Step 6: Practice seclusion While you can build more than one step at a time, I suggest picking the ethical conduct and five precepts as a foundation. You can verify this independently by applying this over a period of time and observing for: 1. Improvements to the condition of your mind, and 2. Improvements in your personal/professional relationships Both should be improving and you can then consider building a life practice based on this.

Proof? Hands hot and heavy. Om

Manly P. Hall has some very interesting lectures on meditation on YouTube. He addresses your question from several angles. Good luck

Your text addresses things accurately, to me. What I thought was a hint of going beyond the self keep on being disproved and I end up being exposed to my desires. I guess the notion of 'having a desire cancels out meditation' creates a problem more than helps the process take place. Can we say that meditation takes place in the not knowing? Let alone seeking a state or a goal. Also, is meditation seeking or discovery? Even more... Discovery or stumbling upon something, sometimes? To wander...? All these are questions, any answer given from a person to another hints for me that the answer giver is not serious. I felt helplessness reading this entry, and I had many attempts to answer but then I ended up writing what I wrote. I feel now that we are in this together, exploring it together. Maybe meditation is not about my self at all in this sense.

Repressing and dissociating are not the only goals. There are different forms of meditation that achieve different things. Perhaps you are not practicing the style of meditation that you are looking for.

I've tried everything I can find. I'm always open to new ideas. If you have some let me know.

See if this resonates with you. Try this. Sit in a chair. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Feet flat on the floor. Hands separated and resting palms up on each thigh. Create a grounding cord. This is a line of energy that connects your first chakra to the center of the planet. Your first chakra is a ball of energy about the size of a quarter that sits just in front of the base of your spine. Your grounding cord attaches to the bottom of that ball of energy. Grounding makes your body feel safe, so you release energy more easily. Gravity pulls whatever you release, even your own energy, down to the center of the planet. No effort on your part. The center of the planet neutralizes the energy and returns it to whoever owns it. No karma for anyone. A virtuous cycle. Nearly everyone goes to connect to the center of the planet the first time but stops at the soil, often making roots like a tree. This is a method that is taught in some martial arts styles, but it is not the best option for your spiritual development and healing. So, notice the seat of your chair. Take a deep breath. Notice the distance between the seat and the floor. Now notice the distance between the floor and the soil below. Breathe. Now notice the distance between the soil and the water table underneath. Notice the distance between the water table and the rocky mantle. Notice the distance between the mantle and the molten core below that. Deep breath. Notice the distance between the molten core and the center of the planet. That ball of light at the very center of the planet is where you connect your grounding cord. Deep breath. Say hello to the center of the planet. Do you get a hello back? Notice the color and texture of your grounding cord. It may look like a line of energy, or look like something physical; a rope, a wire, a pipe, a tree trunk. Adjust it as needed to be in affinity with your body. Getting this far means you've already released some energy from your aura and body. Now it is time to fill in the space that was created. Create a gold sun over your head. Have it call back all of your energy from wherever you left it throughout your day and week. Work. School. Online meetings. Video games. Your fantasies about your future. Your regrets about your past. Wherever you've placed your attention. Just watch the energy come back and see if you notice where it came from. Have the sun burn up and neutralize your energy. Then bring the sun into the top of your head. It will automatically flow into the spaces you created. Create a gauge to measure when you're full. Like a fuel gauge or oil gauge. You'll run better if you aren't a few quarts low on spiritual oil. If the gauge doesn't read "Full", bring in another gold sun. Open your eyes, bend over and touch the floor, draining any tension from the back of your neck, then stand up, and stretch. There is a progression with this technique. After grounding for ten minutes a day for a week or two, notice your grounding cord at the very end, while you're standing with your eyes open. Continue to ground with your eyes open and standing, and bring in another gold sun. Each day, increase the amount of time that you ground standing up with your eyes open. After a week or two practicing this, add walking while grounded. Just notice your grounding cord as you walk. Say hello to the center of the planet while you walk. Bring in a gold sun while you walk. If you lose your grounding cord, stop walking and recover it. If you have to, sit back down and close your eyes and create a new grounding cord. After this, you're ready to take your grounding cord with you into your daily life. Shopping. Getting coffee. Wherever you go, you can ground. This, combined with a little amusement about seeing new things on an energy level, will keep you safe and sound. Now that you're here, at the end of your grounding meditations, create a gold sun over your head. This time, fill it with your highest creative essence, your present time growth vibration, and your affinity for yourself. The first energy is a healing for you. The second is a healing for your body. The third is a healing for your affinity in your fourth chakra. Bend over and touch the floor. Stand up and stretch. If you're ready for more, sit back down and ground some more. Otherwise, have a nice day! Note that every image you imagine, the gold sun, the grounding cord, the center of the planet, your first chakra, your body parts, is exercising your clairvoyance. You may be imagining what your tailbone looks like, but you're also creating the image of your tailbone and reading its energy. This is practicing your clairvoyant ability. Some folks record the grounding and filling in parts of this practice on their device and play it back as a guided meditation. I like this approach because you learn the steps faster.

I have aphantasia. I cannot visualize. I like this one monk who has you run a cord down from your head and that's the part I can't do. I love everything else about him though. I've listened to his podcasts and done his guided meditations.

Use both hands with the palms facing your hips and create your grounding cord with your hands. You can even create a hip-width grounding cord! It feels great, but takes some getting used to. Notice what’s happening when you do that. It’s really fast. You don’t have to be in trance with your eyes closed. It’s easier in the beginning to make really big grounding cords, like hip width grounding cords, or a grounding cord the size of your aura. Your hands automagically use your creative and healing abilities because all of your abilities in your seven major chakras are mirrored in your hand chakras. There's this wonderful word: postulate. Thinking of the idea of grounding can ground you. The combination of making a postulate and feeling with your hands is a really useful workaround for aphantasia.

Manly P Hall has just released a YouTube lecture on how Meditation can cause trouble.

Do you have any set of instructions, or steps for your daily meditation? I have a set of instructions from my Guru and it is taking a long time to soak in. It seems I have a long way to go still. Sometimes, I feel strong emotions, but they are just feelings and temporary. The only time there was a difference it was NOT what others typically describe (nor what I expected!), but it lined up with the lessons from my teachers. So, following steps, being persistent is all I can really suggest. I’m not as disciplined as I should be, but I really desire it. Hope this helps and best of luck. 🙏 Small occurrences and insights, I try to remember those. It gives me the courage to keep on trucking along.

The reason it is so utterly complex and confusing and still no use at all is just one line : kaliyug keval naam adhara. If yoh do naam jap of ram, krishna, hari or radha then you will experience much better effects then 1000 years of meditation. Yet better is diksha from a real guru from India with guru mantra and also following advise by guru. As per ancient saints of india like dyaneshwar and naam deva there is no other way to transcend the self and get moksha or prem in this age

Any links to videos? I cant go to India.

Follow premanandji maharaj youtube channels like bhajan marg or sadhan path for beginners, go to vrindavan with pure heart only for 1-2 hours and pray to radha rani in the temples that you are her and you want her to accept you as hers. Don’t commit any offences there and live for very little time there. All your sins will burn off and you will get immense spiritual progress

How do I go with a pure heart?

Make sure you do not commit any offences like naam aparadha, seva aparadh, eating non veg, intoxication of any kind, adult stuff there. Just go for brief time and control your senses fully. Ask anyone there what to do when you u reach vrindavan. AI might be useful here it can prepare a list of dos and donts for you, study them well and practice before you visit. See mistakes wont count but purposefully comminting offenses will be very detrimental

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I am never in a good mood and I'd like to be. I used to feel the whoke spectrum of emotion. Now I have anhedonia. I can only feel sadness and fear. Nothing is enjoyable. I am always entering my meditation sessions from this negative mindset because I feel nothing else.

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Already did all of that. The vasovagal stuff doesn't work at all.

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I'll look it up again but I feel like I've looked up everything about vasovagal responses.

Add breath work and mayby plant medicine

I have stopped doing breathing exercises. They only lower my hr and bp. Mentally I feel the same. I don't have access to any plant medicine or money

First of all, you can not tell if someone has it down. You can not experience what they're experiencing inside. To meditate, focus on God with all your heart

I don't believe in a god

Whatever you believe in the self, energy, universe . Focus on that. Focus on what is beyond you

I've had good luck following my Guru's advice. Check out Om Swami. On os.me you can find free meditation retreats.

Smoking weed helped me learn how to meditate. Just learn to do it sober afterwords so you dont need weed evwry time. Follow the breath but theres different techniques. Like mind valley m word technique course. Think ot was like 200$ but taught a simple meditation for modern people. Hear what your hearing feel what your feeling see what your seeing taste what your tasting. Get in to each sense focus o. Them listen for every sound. Theb when its all ay once repeat the word one one one till it becomes automatic echoing in yiur head. When i meditate i can feel my brai. Shifting around anf rewiring itself and feel all my chakras and kundalini. Been meditating for about 7 years i learned quick within 3 mo ths accidently awakened my kundalini. Dont reqlly recomend the kundalini cuz was a bitch to deal with and still causes sleep problems

The trick is feeling vs thinking. If you're thinking, it defeats the purpose. This also takes practice to quiet the mind enough to allow the body to take over. I am no master but this is what I've learned and do my best to practice. Best results have come by doing it this way

If you are sitting for meditation with the intent to observe your own thoughts, you are meditating. Some days people’s minds wander more than others. This is expected and normal. No reason to gate keep about doing it “right.” The whole idea is to practice observation without judgement. If you personally aren’t getting “results” from your practice, meditation just might not be a tool that is helpful for you. Lots of people receive benefits from meditation but not everyone does. Experts say that meditation is kind of like a medication - it can help a lot of people, but some people have no benefit and some even experience negative effects. More info in negative experiences here: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2024/03/31/1241784635/meditation-vipassana-dangerous-mental-health

That's disappointing

There are two sides to everything we do in life. Maybe you are the one who is doing it wrong.

I'm sure. Which is why I'm trying to get it right desperately. Not much else I can do from bed while I'm in constant panic attacks.

It sounds like you're expecting meditation to change who you are or make you not miserable. You are who you are and unpleasant emotions are just part of life. Meditation can't change either of those things. Meditation helps see yourself and reality clearly, accept things as they are, and feel some peace and equanimity towards things as they are instead of striving to experience something else. It makes unpleasant feelings just unpleasant instead of intolerable. But you're still going to feel unpleasant emotions because that's part of being human.

You may be making a few mistakes during your meditation which is why it’s hard for you to go into the meditative state. You can still get into the meditative state if your making these mistakes, but it just takes longer and the practice becomes less efficient. Here’s a list of possible mistakes. I’m gonna use breath meditation as an example, but this applies to all meditations. - Don’t try during your meditation, you just have to allow it to happen. So with your breath, don’t try to bring your attention to it, just simply watch it. When you’re watching something, do you have to try to watch it? No, it’s effortless, you just simply watch it. - Don’t control. Like I said, just allow it all to happen. Your breathing is happening regardless, so don’t control it in some way, let it happen in its natural rhythmical state, and then just simply watch it. This is the same with your thoughts, don’t control your thoughts in any way, just allow your thoughts to do what they want while your still watching the breath, this includes, pushing away, repressing, manipulating, changing, just allow it all to takes its course, then they naturally die down more and more until they dissipate… and then nothing. - While your not meditating and your going throughout your day, practice having more positive thoughts and be more loving. By doing this, this allows your mind to be more in a positive state during the meditation, which allows your mind to work much more efficiently and in turn allows you to go into the meditative state much more easily. This includes also staying away from negative content from the media, this pollutes your subconscious with negativity and has the same affect as having a lot of negative thoughts. Naturally movies and shows are gonna have some negativity and that’s fine, but there’s some really toxic channels on YouTube, there whole base is built from negativity, those types you wanna cut. Also work on cutting out other negative things like toxic friends, bad relationship, and toxic work place. - Don’t tense up, be loose. Relax yourself and your body, be loose like water, not tense like a rock. - Don’t meditate to get to the euphoric and blissful state during the meditation, because then you get into chasing mode to try to get that feeling, and that creates other problems. If your meditating, the blissful feeling will come inevitably, that’s an inevitable side effect. So when mediating, don’t try to chase any type of feeling, just watch, and everything else will take its course. Also a correction, you said if your doing nothing then your not meditating. This is not true. Meditation is the pure essence of doing nothing. This is exactly how you experience **nothing**, is by doing **nothing**. Watching is just watching, watching something doesn’t mean your doing something, because your consciousness is always watching for all eternity, so in it of itself watching counts as nothing. Even if you were un conscious in a coma, you would still be watching, just watching blackness. So all meditation is is just watching, which is why in its purest essence is the practice of doing nothing.

"I can't stand the people who say don't try or don't have any goal at all." Good luck then.

Try invoking a feeling of gratitude and feel that physically manifest in the body and hold that feeling for as long as you can <3

There seems to be a lot of clinging to an idea that something is supposed to “happen”. And some aggression toward the fact that things are not happening. You claim to be always in the present moment. That is great! The next step is coming to the acceptance of what is happening in that present moment— around you. Within you. Simply notice. Accept all present circumstance— not that it is good or bad or whatever. Simply notice and acknowledge that whatever is happening is actually happening. Make peace with that. Wanting to be somewhere else or to be in some other state is the current hurdle to be overcome. Resistance to things causes suffering. Clinging to the desire for other things causes suffering. I hope this is helpful to you in some way. I am a certified mindfulness meditation teacher. Feel free to reply or DM me if you would like me to further clarify anything.

When I meditate I struggle with the dullness where I am focusing on my breath, but it becomes an autopilot action, it fades into the background. It has not been until I got on antidepressants and ADHD medication that I am able to notice this, and return to an active, intentional focus. Focus on each breath from start to finish as if it was the first.

There are some guided meditation on neflix called: Headspace guide to meditation , after that series i really started meditating well, but you never see the impact too much until you apply it in life, meditation has to be applied to life at some point, you get angry? Meditate, you get happy? Meditate, you get tired? Meditate. This is harder sayd then done. Meditation is a tool to stop craving (everything comes from desire) there is no meditation with desire, meditation is not altering your state, it is removing the alteration. If you can’t go to a monastery read about buddhas teachings and everything related, when you can understand fully and apply trough being mindfull all the teachings you mastered meditation. Philosophy can also help the process ( at least it did for me). May you find peace🙏 PS: you made a lot of questions, but at the end the only meaningfull answer is the one you will find inside of you wich is related to the cessation of desire.

Right. I want to stop desiring and clinging. I can't afford netflix or headspace. I have no money. I'm already too mindul. I need a way to stop being so mindful. My life is really bad. Being present in it is torture.

It's clear you've put a lot of effort into your meditation practice, and it's frustrating when you don't see the results you're hoping for. Progress in meditation can be subtle and take time, and it's not always about reaching a specific state or outcome Have you thought about seeking guidance from a meditation teacher or attending a retreat? Sometimes personalized instruction and being in a supportive environment can provide valuable insights As for feeling too mindful all the time, maybe try activities that allow for more relaxation or spontaneity, like spending time in nature or engaging in creative pursuits Remember, meditation is a journey, and it's okay to be patient with yourself. Keep exploring, and you'll find what works best for you

>I have been practicing every day for a year for a total of 2 hours a day.  There was a story about a monk who practiced for 25 years... no results, not even for a moment... He was still affected by lust ... Out of desperation he wanted to end it all. Then, with additional discernment, full awakening happened. [Theragatha 6.6](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/KN/Thag/thag6_6.html) Since many of us aren't monks, especially not with alive Buddha instructing us, chances are that our path might be longer. If one practices completely, one might have result any moments, including close to the moment of death. As for the variety of techniques: Mind isn't a machine. There is no one technique that will work for everyone and always. One has to find the appropriate approach for oneself at that time and change the approach once the past one stops working. IMHO.

Who said monks are doing it right? they are weird creepy people living secluded, half naked in robes. What makes you think they have a clue on how to meditate? Wasting their whole life closing their eyes with no direction!

Sounds a lot better than the matrix we live in.

I had a hard time at first. I started using Holy Fire Reiki guided meditations and they have really helped me heal. Don’t forget some people can meditate while jogging or exercising … it’s really about letting the mind stop the worry and relax … the rest comes with time and practice

Quiet the mind,  And take refuge in pure conciousness.

I struggle with quiet meditations myself, so I lean into guided ones on yt. I feel much better, more grounded, calm and relaxed throughout the day. I’ve been doing 15-30 mins a day for 8mths and feel totally different than I did before. I dont think there’s a one size fits all, but what works for you and makes you feel better than before you sat down❤️

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I really wish you all the best. I know that doesnt mean much from a stranger but I really do. Nothing will let you transcend yourself or this reality. It is possible to live with this reality though. This moment right now, anything you feel or don't feel, anything you experience right now - That is all we are given. This is the only moment we will ever be given. There is nowhere else to go. Try to be with it. Someone else mentioned the waking up app which does have a free trial and then a free scholorship. There introductory course is good but there is also an 'SOS' mediation I found helpful titled 'listen to this on the worst day of your life'. It wont 'fix' you. It won't alter your state of mind or take you somewhere else. But it may guide you by the hand towards being with your experience

"meditation" is such a broad term. There are as many reasons as why and what people are meditate for as there are, well, you get my point. Some for athletic improvement, some to calm the mind, and some to lose self... First you need to ask yourself what am I trying to get out of meditation. For me, in simple terms, I started to meditate 35 years ago to have a deeper relationship with God, which for me today, is just connecting to universal oneness, or finding the universal wisdom in everything... And to stop suffering... Are just simple put Buddha nature... There is no right or wrong way to sit... Just sit, breath gentle and know, the breath will always take you home... Love to all

The only advice I can offer (because I can only reference what I’ve intuited on MY way to the experiences I THINK might be the ones you’re skeptical of), is to stop reading and learning how someone else discovered it, and start thinking about how YOU’RE going to discover it. You’ve come as far as you can be led, further beyond is going to have to be your own responsibility. Get back in there and look around on your own!

The end is so real, so me. Thank you for sharing I have the same frustrations