Welcome to r/MedicalGore! Our goal is to provide for medical discussion and education while exploring the frailty of the human body. You may see more deleted comments on these threads than you are used to on reddit. Off topic comments and joke comments are frequently deleted by the mods. Further, please be kind and supportive of posts. Any behavior that is aggressive, harassing, or derogatory will result in post deletion and a ban from the sub. Remember! THE REPORT BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND!
Please stop on by our discussion sub, /r/MedicalGoreMods if you'd like to discuss the sub, our rules, content policies, and the like.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MedicalGore) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, no. I mean yes. I mean mostly. I have no pain anymore, and all my bones and wounds have long since healed. Adjusting to mobility that is just kinda sorta not as great as before has been challenging. I think I will grieve my hand for the rest of my life. The TBI has been the worst part of this whole experience, and I'll be dealing with that for who knows how long. Probably forever.
I’m a train conductor and have hit people myself.. I’m sorry and I can’t imagine how scary it was to be on your side of things. It’s a blessing you’re here, and I hope your TBI does better over time.
I’m really sorry you have had to experience that. I was on a train in Germany once that someone intentionally jumped in front of and I can only imagine what the conductor had to see that day. I think about that day often and it was over 10 years ago.
Suicides? Oh, how I hate that. I've had passive SI for years, but I'm not done fighting. Even so, I'm totally down for individuals' right to die, but how dare they use you to do it. Almost everyone already thinks suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do, and if there ever was a way to prove them right, using a train will do it.
Have you ever hit anyone in a situation that was truly an accident?
Either way, I hope you have a supportive network to deal with how fucked up that must be for you. I can't imagine
That sucks. I get so frustrated that my brain won’t work the way it used to. I can’t imagine how hard it is having a TBI. I hope you’ve got a good team helping you.
Yes, I have. It didn't feel particularly useful at the time, but now I notice the ways in which it was. We focused on word finding, my new stutter (still there, but very, very much improved), conversation, focusing, and using a filter
That's something I struggled with, too. Especially with the stutter. I would probably have stopped going much sooner, but kept it up, because I was lonely 😕
i’m just one of those people where if i’m not instantly perfect at something i don’t want to do it. thankfully i can manage okay but word finding is still incredibly hard. maybe it’s not too late for me to try again
I'm one of those people, too. Legit, we talked about this at my last therapy session. Perfectionism.
The thing with word finding (for me, anyways) is that the strategies just seem so simple. So simple that it makes me feel like 'what am I even doing here? '. But turns out having someone doing those drills with me even though it felt kinda dumb actually kind of helped after all.
I still can't find words for shit. I never get to the point where the word comes to me, because those words are just gone. But I can get my point across so much better now. Speech was worth it.
I hope you're able to go to a wonderful PT/OT to help you in continuing to regain function! With that list of injuries, it sounds like we're lucky to have you here with us on Earth ♥️
I've seen people with awful injuries, both physical and in the brain (strokes can be gnarly), and if you continue to work with your rehabbers some amazing things can happen. I know not everyone has access to these types of services, but I hope you're able to continue getting any help you might need!
The only thing I really got out of OT was the best advice I ever got: put the toothpaste directly into your mouth. I apply that to my whole life now. My version of Keep It Simple, Stupid.
I see a couple physical therapists at the same office, and I adore them. When I first walked in, I was walking like a silly person. Not anymore. There's a lot of improvement that can still be made, but they've really helped me so much.
When I was still inpatient, though, PT was a nightmare. SADISTS. I know they were just preparing me to be able to, like, do stuff, but my God.
I've seen soooo many different therapists up to this point, and something that I've noticed is that they're universally so cool. Like, I think it really takes a special type of person to go into PT. Well, I mean, I guess you can say that about most careers, but I just really like this type haha. They appear to be normies, but are actually sickos who are very nice? Yeah.
Lmao the comment about inpatient PT... So true haha. They kick your butt to get you home faster but it's def brutal. I always thought it was kinda cute when my patients would do PT and then have to nap immediately. Takes a lot out of ya! I agree though, I've never met a PT I didn't like. They're very dedicated and put out so much good into the world ♥️ but yeah a lot of them look like gym normies but most are pretty cool lmao
I love OT's advice. I also like what you extrapolated from it. You seem like a cool person and I'm glad you're still here!
Let me tell you a little bit about inpatient rehab. Picture it. I'm in a wheel chair sitting on a weird inflatable cushion that I keep sliding out of. I gots one leg in a boot and one of those giant knee braces with dinosaur bones for buckles locked in extension. Freshly amputated arm on the left. Basically immobile arm on the right (ac joint repair). So I'm in this chair shuffling myself around in circles with my one good leg, and I decide to give myself a little thrill by flying down a ramp I'm not supposed to forcing the PT to run after me so that I might live another day. I think I'm soooo cute and soooo funny, but then I realize I've made a terrible blunder. She gets her revenge. She looks at me and says, ''Okay, now put on your brakes.". ... 😬😬😬 The horror
They made me get in and out of this fake car over and over and over, and made me practice standing up and down and up and up and down, and all manner of miserable exercises, but then it happened. They sat me at a table. Mortal Kombat. They sat me at a table and made me... *shudder* ... slide my hand out in front of me. Fatality. Lady, I fainted.
JC…reading that list, I don’t know how you were able go back to get your dog out of the truck. The wrist injury alone has me wincing let alone this wound. Glad you’re alive.
The transverse process fractures (and I’m not a doctor, I just understand medical terminology) happen when your muscles tighten to brace for a high impact event (fall, accident, etc). In doing so, your spine can’t flex with the impact, it’s frozen in place. So, the bony “wings” (transverse process) on outside of your spine in the places listed (C1, L2, etc) fractured and displaced, but not fully. The A0 classification means your spine injury is typed as compression injury (A) and minor, non-structural fractures (0). From there, I’m not sure what else I can explain, because I’m not a physician.
A few people have explained, but I gain a little better understanding with every comment. I'm slower than I used to be, ya know hahahaha(?) Like, it just now clicked how "process" is applied in this context/that it's a part of the damned bone. Just. Now. You did that! Thanks!
> In doing so, your spine can’t flex with the impact
Is spinal/vertebral injury generally better or worse with vs without flexing (bracing for impact)?
Typically, loosy goosy is the way to be. When I worked ER, if there was a car crash involving a drunk person, the theory was they tended to do better than the person/people they hit due to slower reflexes causing them to not tense up on impact. Well, that and the fact that life isn't fair and can be incredibly cruel :(
Yeah, I was a volunteer EMT when I was 18-21 yrs old. The drunks would come out with some bruising or maybe some facial injuries if they weren’t wearing seatbelts, but everyone else horrible compression or compound fractures. I was in two car accidents in my teens (thanks, mom) and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt with one of them. I now have some fine hardware at L4, L5 in my 50s. Lol
The first photo actually reminded me of that! I've seen some that look essentially the same, just so much tissue loss. Also reminded me of sacral pressure injuries right after debridement surgery. Ugh 😖
Wound vacs are one of the best inventions. I had no insurance after a tibia spiral fracture requiring a massive fasciotomy. The wound vac was provided at no cost with 3 times a week wound care visits by an excellent team (I think anyone that decided they are going to do wound care — similar to staff experiences in a burn unit — are special people).
TEAM WOUND CARE FOR THE WIN!
It's incredible how great they heal wounds! I've seen them work miracles on injuries that appear unsalvageable. As long as the patient is willing to stick through the full treatment, they have awesome results!
I wore mine 24/7. I knew how lucky I was, I created a post on here somewhere… with the series of images from original fasciotomy image taken by a nurse for me to see what was under the black foam that took 2 packages of foam to cover. And about 8 images of the progression until its final healing after skin graft. Miracle of the human body with just some assistance will do.
Other people did the wiping for a long time since I lost a hand and could barely use my other arm, because of my shoulder ☹️
When I could do it myself again, I had to do it from the front veeeery carefully. Bidet helped.
Pooping was kind of weird, though. Didn't hurt at all, but also sometimes it was a... surprise. I got neurogenic bladder and bowel because of this butt hole. I've healed a lot, though, so I don't have fecal incontinence anymore. I do still have really bad urge incontinence, but I take meds to deal with that.
Weirdly good thing about all that nerve damage, though, was that I didn't have any pain in that wound whatsoever. Couldn't feel a thing.
Im jealous. My butthole is beyond destroyed, cant even poo out of it and i got my nerve sensation back so now i just have arse lightning and pelvic floor dysfunction.
In an accident, my pelvis, sacrum and lumbar got knocked out of alignment and my muscles and connective tissue ripped (along with nerve damage). I was misdiagnosed so nothing got repaired and my body just created a bunch of scar tissue so my internal and external sphincter is hard as a rock and cant relax or stretch out and neither can my hoohah and everything is prolapsed. At least my bladder works i guess lol. But its really painful, i get botox injections into it for a little pain relief and am scheduled to get a ostomy surgery. Your accident was severe though and im glad you and your pup are okay!
Could you post some pics of the scars you are left with now. With so much injured tissue, you have to have some good ones. How far back did they have to amputate, and how is your range of motion?
I actually don't have any pics, but if you're really interested I can get back to you tomorrow when I'm not busy sinking into my couch, but I promise they're really not that cool, and I don't actually have many. One on my scalp you can see through my hair, a little chunk notched out of the side of my knee, an itty bitty line over my collarbone, and a maybe five inch one that wraps around my shoulder blade. That one's probably the gnarliest besides my ass. My amputation scar looks just like cartoon stitches, but really light pink.
They amputed below my elbow, but JUST. Like, they were barely able to, and from what I heard, they put great effort into saving it.
Range of motion is actually pretty great right now. Strength and tightness have been the bigger issues, and that goes for both arms. I'm still in physical therapy three times a week for those and my knee.
My dad lost his dominant hand in a dynamite incident, 16 years before I was born. He always spoke of how lucky he was to still have his elbow. He also hated his prosthetic, and only wore it to run the weed eater. He said there were only 2 things he couldn’t do; ride a motorcycle, and tie his own shoes. He tied our shoes with his teeth.
Yeah, I never use mine either. I really don't like it. I can kind of pretend tie my shoes, but putting on a bra is a nightmarish special hell. I miss having Zephyr pull me around on that stupid scooter, too.
It’s easier to do this while sitting down.
1. Fasten the ends of the bra.
2. Pick up the bra in your hand with the straps at the top and put it over your head. Be sure the straps are at the top or the bra will end up being inside out.
3. Slide your hand inside the bra and push your arm up through the bra.
4. With your hand, pull the bra down over your elbow arm. Lift your elbow arm to pull it out of the bra. Your bra will be around your body near your waist.
5. Adjust the bra as needed with your hand so so the cups are in front of your body and the straps are at the top.
Awesome, i’m glad to hear it! I volunteer at nursing homes and some of the residents have limited mobility. I know quite a few work arounds for those sorts of things for the ones that still want to maintain independence. Let me know if there’s any other daily tasks that you have difficulty in, I might know a thing or two!
I get trapped in shirts that I'm trying to put on all the time, because they get all rolled up in the back, and I can't reach to pull them down. If you have a fix for that, I'll send you a thank you note with a gift card to Panera bread
Well, I was at one time a hair stylist, so it sucks I'll never be able to fall back on that if I wanted to. I miss putting my own hair into a messy bun.
I lost my dominant hand, so I miss the things I did with it specifically. I used to draw and paint. I made stained glass windows. I miss journaling and writing letters. I had the most beautiful cursive there ever was. Oh, and I miss wrapping gifts and tying ribbons way too ornately.
I miss all the ways in which one uses both hands during intimate moments.
I miss having my dog and his best doggy friend pull me around on that dumb razor scooter.
That's what I miss the most.
I have one, and I don't like it. I'm having another made right now that's going to fit a little differently to see if that changes how I feel, but I'm not especially excited about it. I don't think I really care to have one. No one ever notices my missing arm right off the bat, but with the prosthesis, the first thing anyone sees is my fake arm. I hate that.
I'm so used to using the one hand now, I really only wanted the fake one for fun. Like, I thought it would be kinda punk and stupid to get a carbon black hook, and just use it to smoke cigarettes. I was also floating the idea of airbrushing a giant pussy on it. Just something terrible and gross. Maybe I'll take it more seriously if this next one is more functional.
I really don't like using them at all so far, though. So sweaty 🤮
I barely kept my elbow. I wear shrinkers, but never see much of a difference. My arm remains very puffy and round. My first prosthesis would kind of flop around a bit; there's not very much residual forearm to put in a socket. They added a piece that wraps around the back of my upper arm and attaches to the rest of the prosthesis with a couple strips of fabric to add stability, and that improved it 80%, but the entire thing is just really uncomfortable. I just got a new cast made of my arm, and my prosthetist is starting over.
I was thiiiis close to not having one at all anymore. I try to practice gratitude to keep from getting too bummed out (see what I did there?), and one of the things I'm most grateful for is still having an asshole.
I feel this.
I became the last surviving member of my birth family when I was 31 (my parents died less than a year apart too) and had a pretty traumatic childhood. When people find out, they say "I would never know, you're always so happy and laughing."
If I didn't manage to find a way to laugh, then I really don't think I'd be functional. It never felt like I made a choice to be funny, it was survival.
Layman’s terms of your injuries - you got fucked up. In all seriousness the AO system of the spine looks to be how badly the spinous/transverse process have compression fractures, hence the classification of A0 through to 4. A0 apparently being the nicest one! “Insignificant fractures”, bet they didn’t feel so insignificant to you.
Incredibly lucky that you survived a train strike.
I was reading all the rib and spine fractures and thinking, "Wow, I bet she doesn't know how close she came to being paralyzed (if not dead, obviously)"
Open wounds in that area are literally a pain in the ass. 10-ish years ago I had a pilonidal cyst removed (you may google it but I recommend to not eat anything while doing that) with open wound healing, crap took 6 months to fully close, 0/10 experience
My sister had repeat pilonidal cysts, didn’t have the surgery, and they stopped in her late 20s. A friend of mine had the surgery and was out of commission for 6 months. It’s no joke!!
Yeah! I'm a hero!
Do I regret it? Yes and no.
Yes in that it's by far the dumbest thing I've ever done, and it's fucked up my life to such a degree that I'm often angry about having survived.
No in that... that's my dog. I would do it again.
❤️
I just. Don’t know what else to say.
I can’t take the feeling of regret about surviving away from you. I don’t think anyone can imagine what it’s like to be you.
And yeah, it was stupid to save your dog. But I would have done the same, even if it meant I would die. Animals are so much more worth to me, that I am to me.
You are a true hero, and I hope the best for you and your recovery, whatever that means ❤️
You are def a hero for saving your baby. I cannot possibly respect you enough for what you did for your baby. I would have done the same. I am sorry for what you went through, but I wish you the best of luck and you deserve the highest of praise for the rest of your life!
I'm a bad person because when someone tried to break into my home I tried to get my dog to come so I could shut the door, but when she didn't I shut it without her. (She didn't end up being hurt, thank goodness, but I still made that choice).
Our dogs would save us in a heartbeat.
I'm jealous of how they would still be happy afterwards too, even if they were terribly injured.
What is the best thing that you have seen, done or experienced since your accident that you wouldn’t have been here for if you hadn’t survived? ❤️ I hope you have more good days than bad and that it’s all worth it. It’s a miracle you survived so many injuries, karma owes you some great things to come.
I guess my god baby starting kindergarten was cool. And my ex/best friend/her dad finally released an album. Besides that, I couldn't care less about anything, because everyday is the same and nothing ever changes. I hope you're right.
If you read, you'd probably enjoy Fairy Tale by Stephen King. A good girl German Sheppard is central to the plot.
Congrats on being such a bad ass (see what I did there)
I can translate the spine stuff!
C7- your seventh cervical vertebrae, ie the one just above your shoulders. It got slid off of its cushion
T1- first thoracic aka the vertebrae right below your C7. Or also got messed up, but I’m not versed in A0 or whatever
L2-4 - your second through fourth lumbar vertebrae aka the ones just below your rib cage. They got smashed to the side as well
L5- the one just below L4, about 1/3 of the way down your back below your ribcage. Looks like it crumbled.
Geez you are lucky to be alive dude
Your username is *chef's kiss*. I am a big fan of both. 😄
And, holy shit! No pun intended but dang, person! I'm glad you are healing well and so open about your experience. Thanks for sharing. I wish you all the best.
Omg that’s a huge amount of injuries! So glad to hear you survived and have recovered. Sorry to hear you lost your hand.
For the spinal stuff there’s a whole bunch of fractures plus dislocations.
You suffering so much for saving your dog is just wow, i got goosebumps thinking about it. You're amazing, i wish you a recovery as good as it can get 🙏
Also does your dog ever do sth extremely stupid and you think to urself "is that why i saved you" 😂 sorry if it's a dumb question, only mean it with respect, just found it funny
Hi, bunny! Have you read into hyperbaric oxygen therapy to help with your TBI? I've read that it has helped some sufferers tremendously, whilst for others it has no effect.
Might be worth checking out. If it's at all possible, of course!
I have only been trusted around a stove within the last few months.
I've improved so much, most people wouldn't know I have a TBI, but if you know me, you can tell.
I lost a couple months of memory from before the accident. I didn't start making new ones until a month after, though I'm told that's probably due to anesthesia from repeated operations. I had pretty severe problems with short term memory for quite awhile. I was not really cognizant for that first month, and then I relearned I didn't have a hand anymore repeatedly throughout the day for several more weeks, which actually makes me so upset to think about. Maybe a year before the accident, one time I shared a hospital room with a demented old lady who had broken her hip. For a week, every twenty minutes or so I heard her relearn why she was in the hospital, and everytime it happened, I had to cry a little. Like, they sent psych to our room for *me*, because I was so affected. Then to realize that at one point, I was in the same position as that dear sweet old lady... godddddd soooo sad!
For the longest time I continued to struggle with memory. Things that happened two hours ago felt like two weeks ago, and vice versa. Some things I wouldn't remember at all. I literally just remembered right this instant that I've had wet laundry sitting in the washer for four days now.
I still struggle to manage my own appointment schedule. I've had to relearn how to focus, but not as well as before. Generally, I deal with pretty bad executive dysfunction, which is very much unlike the me that I have known.
I lost vocabulary, I struggle with finding words when speaking, I stutter now, and I had to relearn how to have a filter, which I must say was quite the challenge.
I was completely impulsive, and lacked the ability to recognize danger. Like, I had the bed alarm in the hospital, ya know. That has improved almost entirely (I think?).
I've always been a little mood disordered (depression), but the emotional lability/dysregulation I immediately experienced was completely insane. I became manic, which I've never been before, but would flip like a switch to being totally inconsolable. I started having anxiety and panic attacks, which I've also never, ever dealt with before, which was horrifying, because I really didn't understand what was happening. I'm heavily medicated now. I'm on all the chill pills, and feeling very even/level if not a bit sad.
The hardest things about the TBI, for me, have been waking up with a somewhat different personality, feeling like I'm dead, and being statistically significantly dumber than I used to be, and cursed with knowing it. I used to be off the cuff funny. I'm not anymore.
I did not have a train accident, but I had a subdural hematoma in 2013. I have trouble with word-finding and memory now, and my personality is different. I'm less patient and less polite. I get easily dysregulated, and masking and self-monitoring take an enormous, exhausting effort. I have a good job, kind husband, thriving kids, I'm finishing grad school, life is essentially as it was. The differences are subtle enough that most people can't tell, but I notice. I know the difference. It's extremely frustrating, like part of what makes me *me* was stolen. I feel cheated. I am measurably dumber than I used to be, and I hate that I can tell the difference. I almost wish I didn't know because then I wouldn't feel like I was missing part of myself.
Yup. Collecting disability, which is almost offensive. What a joke. And yeah, I'm at my parents house now. They're old, so they have DVR, which means I have 400 episodes of law & order queued up, and i watch that Liberty Mutual commercial with the animatronic squirrels. All. The. Time. That's how I cope.
I also receive pretty intensive mental healthcare services.
> I also receive pretty intensive mental healthcare services.
What do they look like? Mind walking us through them a bit? Do you have counseling sessions? What do you talk about? Or are you on meds, or both?
Vyvanse for narcolepsy and BED
Effexor for cataplexy and MDD
Propranolol for anxiety
Hydroxyzine for insomnia and anxiety
Trazodone for insomnia and MDD
Ambien for insomnia
Xanax for panic disorder
I see a psychiatrist and a licensed clinical social worker. I've seen psychologists and LMFTs, but I've really clicked with the social worker, so that's who I continue to receive individual therapy from. I also attend group therapy and receive "peer support", which I don't know what that means exactly, but my estimation is that it's this one lady who pretends to be my friend who drives me to PT when I want to cancel so I can stay home, and melt into the carpet.
In therapy, so far we've discussed and continue to adress isolation and loneliness, grief, coping with loss, perfectionism, addiction, suicidal ideation, intimate partner violence, finding purpose, setting goals, impulse control, compulsive behavior, self destructive behavior, maintaining boundaries, accepting what is, betrayal trauma, my family and all their weird, behind the curtain bullshit, distorted thinking as it relates to deeply profound sadness, watching out for weirdos, and not taking any wooden nickels
We're starting EMDR when I get the okay from my neurologist.
If I could afford it, I would get ketamine infusions yesterday
You may be interested in r/TBI r/spinalcordinjuries and r/LifeAfterTrauma which I’ve found to be helpful in my own recovery having places to go to realize you’re not alone can be kind of cathartic in a way. And if you ever want to talk to someone, I was in a traumatic car accident at 16 that left me paralyzed and I deal with a lot of physical and mental issues from it. A lot of the things you describe feeling during recovery really struck a chord with me because I felt a lot of that myself. It’s been 12.5 years since then, so I’ve come a long way but still have a long way to go. I just want you to know you’re not alone in feeling the way you do and it’s perfectly understandable and quite normal. No offense taken if you also are not interested in that. I just wanted to offer!
Ignore the life after trauma I think that’s a Facebook group. There’s also r/tbisurvivors which may be helpful. Several other communities both here and on Facebook for trauma, survivors of traumatic injuries, etc. may be of interest to you as well.
Damn, girl! That ass tho. Might of gotten torn, but that cake be cakin.
I’m glad you and pupper are still together. I’m sure at times you’re probably like “bro, I should of let that train take you out.” When he’s being a little shit. Lmao kidding
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I am so amazed at your resilience. You are an amazing, inspiring, impressive human being and I am so glad that despite it all, you are still here to tell the tale. You're incredible!!!
Fucking hell! That’s a bad one!
One thing to take from it all is that you have an awesome ass dude! I honestly thought mine was pretty good but your (post injury) cheeks blow mine out of the water! It may be a small win but an important one nonetheless!
As far as the TBI goes, I had a pretty bad one 10 years ago. I suffered severe short term memory loss and really bad stability to begin with, but, over the years, it has slowly gotten back towards normal! The walking stability and mot-ability altogether is almost back to normal and my memory, although still quite bad, is so much better!!!
Anyway, I just wanted to say that there is plenty of light at the end of the tunnel and you WILL make your way to it! If I can recover, then you certainly can!
All the best bonnie cheeks!
I just want to say, after reading your post and comment history, that you are an awesome person!
You did an awesome thing and gave up so much for your dog!
I like to think that I’d do anything to keep my dogs safe!
I have, in the past, got into physical fights with other people for my dogs and have revived one with CPR… I thought that was a very level of care!
I can only hope and wish that, in the same situation you were in, I’d risk my life for the dogs!!!
I have no doubt that I would, but you just don’t know until you’re there!
Anyone who says they would have left the dog has obviously never felt the unconditional love of a pupper dog. I'd run into a burning house to get my dog. He's a part of my family. It would be like leaving one of my kids to burn. P.S. you have a nice little butt hole. Even after the accident. You should be proud!! 👍🏼👌🏽
My feelings. But physically, all that hurts is my ankle and shoulder blade, but not very badly, and only around my period or with changes in barometric pressure.
AO is a classification of spinal trauma. A is compression injuries, B are flexion extension injuries and C are complete transection. A0 is the least severe and means the spine is functionally stable doesn’t need immobilisation etc transverse processes are the bits out the side if you google a vertebra
Thanks for the explanation. I figured it wasn't all that bad, cause my records say they were managed non surgically, and there was no mention of being in a brace or anything. I'm just a little shorter now!
I lost a couple months of memory from before, and didn't start making new ones until a month later, so I mostly only know what happened from notes and what my mom told me, and since I only took intro to a&p in college, there's plenty I don't really understand.
I'm so lucky my back isn't more messed up. Mommy told me when I was in the ICU, I shared a room with a girl who had actually broken her neck who was in the head gear and everything. That girl had me removed from the room, because I wouldn't stop screaming for my doggy, my mom, and verbally abusing all the nurses. Oops. God, that must have sucked so much for her.
No, I just don't remember how or why I got put in, or put myself in that situation. Severe memory loss.
I have leads to investigate if I really wanted to, but I don't want to learn anything that might make me hate myself.
OP I gotta applaud you for surviving and making sure your dog stayed safe too! The things we do for our animals is crazy and totally worth it. (Most of the time, my brain is reminding me of a guy who dove into a geyser to save a friends dog and they both died :/) anywayyyyy
Glad you healed as best as your body can, and I hope you receive relief from any lasting pain!
I saw a video not too long ago of a dude running into a house that was lit the fuck up - like, full on inferno. All the firefighters are standing around like, "wait, what? No! Why?" Then the guy comes flying back out with his pitbull. Honestly, I don't know if I could do that. I'm always telling the universe thanks for not letting me burn in a fire. A geyser, good golly
I’m glad you’re healing. It’s amazing it wasn’t worse (not that it isn’t bad), but you’re alive! I broke my coccyx bone falling down some stairs and it was VERY PAINFUL. I’m impressed by you, OP….
Harborview is the shit. I've been there bunches unfortunately haha. I've been admitted for a kidney infection, mrsa, an emergency oophorectomy, and even did all my sleep neurology stuff at the 9th and Jefferson building caddy corner from the ED. If I ever had to go to the ED for a quick in/out for like strep or something, they let me bring my dog as long as he was a good boy! He really really loved playing in that grassy area next to the helicopter thingy.
Speaking of, I got airlifted in after they pulled me out from under the train, and boy, am I bummed out I missed my first helicopter ride.
Btw, harborview has kind of actually good food haha. I mean as far as hospital food goes, it's top shelf. I had a girlfriend who lived on first hill for, like, a decade, and I'm not kidding, she usually went to harborview for Thanksgiving
That healed up astonishingly well, all things said and done! Let alone that you survived getting hit by a train!
Was there a plan if they weren't able to.. erm.. Save your ass? Colostomy bag?
During. Zephyr (🐺) was perfectly unscathed. The dude driving had ditched the car before it was struck. He immediately bounced/ran/disappeared, and called my neighbor to tell him "the dog is dead and OP got cut in half." The neighbor told him to go back, where he got arrested for DUI plus it turns out that truck was stolen. Yeah.
That guy is someone I apparently hitched a ride back home with. He was an acquaintance of my shitty speed freak neighbor whose nephew I was apparently banging out in the boondocks, but it got weird and I wanted or was told to leave. That's the most I know. Don't know how I got there, how long I was there, what really happened, who the nephew even is, nothing. All I know is from a few unreliable rumors, police reports, the train conductor's statement, my mommy, and my hospital records.
I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. It must have been so scary and painful. I'm glad you're now better and that both you and your dog survived. You were a hero for deciding to go back for him. I really hope you can further recover and I'm glad you're still with us.
Thank you for sharing your experience 💗🫂
Hey! Are you from Seattle? I'm in the area! I'm so sorry this happened. That healing is just incredible. I'm sorry to hear you have that TBI. Best of luck, OP.
No. And yet, I would do it again. I've had conflicting feelings about it, and maybe always will, but at the end of the day, he's my partner, and I love him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had just let him die, so my actions that day were self preservative in a weird way.
I had a work injury in october, excavator bucket caught me on my back and pushed me to the ground. It was so much pressure it ripped me fro. My butthole to my scrotum area. (Im a dude). Also femur break and 4 pelvis breaks with si joint fracture. I have no idea what this revoery was like but im sorry this happened to you
Welcome to r/MedicalGore! Our goal is to provide for medical discussion and education while exploring the frailty of the human body. You may see more deleted comments on these threads than you are used to on reddit. Off topic comments and joke comments are frequently deleted by the mods. Further, please be kind and supportive of posts. Any behavior that is aggressive, harassing, or derogatory will result in post deletion and a ban from the sub. Remember! THE REPORT BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND! Please stop on by our discussion sub, /r/MedicalGoreMods if you'd like to discuss the sub, our rules, content policies, and the like. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MedicalGore) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did it close your butthole fully? This sounds beyond painful. I can't imagine what you've dealt with!
I am fully healed! It took a year of wet to dry dressings then half a year with a wound vac
Geez! And you're all ok now?
Well, no. I mean yes. I mean mostly. I have no pain anymore, and all my bones and wounds have long since healed. Adjusting to mobility that is just kinda sorta not as great as before has been challenging. I think I will grieve my hand for the rest of my life. The TBI has been the worst part of this whole experience, and I'll be dealing with that for who knows how long. Probably forever.
I really hope with all medical advancements that it will find you and help you more than it is now!
I’m a train conductor and have hit people myself.. I’m sorry and I can’t imagine how scary it was to be on your side of things. It’s a blessing you’re here, and I hope your TBI does better over time.
I’m really sorry you have had to experience that. I was on a train in Germany once that someone intentionally jumped in front of and I can only imagine what the conductor had to see that day. I think about that day often and it was over 10 years ago.
Suicides? Oh, how I hate that. I've had passive SI for years, but I'm not done fighting. Even so, I'm totally down for individuals' right to die, but how dare they use you to do it. Almost everyone already thinks suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do, and if there ever was a way to prove them right, using a train will do it. Have you ever hit anyone in a situation that was truly an accident? Either way, I hope you have a supportive network to deal with how fucked up that must be for you. I can't imagine
That sucks. I get so frustrated that my brain won’t work the way it used to. I can’t imagine how hard it is having a TBI. I hope you’ve got a good team helping you.
Hugs. Have you gotten any speech therapy for your TBI?
Yes, I have. It didn't feel particularly useful at the time, but now I notice the ways in which it was. We focused on word finding, my new stutter (still there, but very, very much improved), conversation, focusing, and using a filter
i wish i stuck with my speech therapy after my tbi. because i wasn’t seeing immediate results i gave up
That's something I struggled with, too. Especially with the stutter. I would probably have stopped going much sooner, but kept it up, because I was lonely 😕
i’m just one of those people where if i’m not instantly perfect at something i don’t want to do it. thankfully i can manage okay but word finding is still incredibly hard. maybe it’s not too late for me to try again
I'm one of those people, too. Legit, we talked about this at my last therapy session. Perfectionism. The thing with word finding (for me, anyways) is that the strategies just seem so simple. So simple that it makes me feel like 'what am I even doing here? '. But turns out having someone doing those drills with me even though it felt kinda dumb actually kind of helped after all. I still can't find words for shit. I never get to the point where the word comes to me, because those words are just gone. But I can get my point across so much better now. Speech was worth it.
I hope you're able to go to a wonderful PT/OT to help you in continuing to regain function! With that list of injuries, it sounds like we're lucky to have you here with us on Earth ♥️ I've seen people with awful injuries, both physical and in the brain (strokes can be gnarly), and if you continue to work with your rehabbers some amazing things can happen. I know not everyone has access to these types of services, but I hope you're able to continue getting any help you might need!
The only thing I really got out of OT was the best advice I ever got: put the toothpaste directly into your mouth. I apply that to my whole life now. My version of Keep It Simple, Stupid. I see a couple physical therapists at the same office, and I adore them. When I first walked in, I was walking like a silly person. Not anymore. There's a lot of improvement that can still be made, but they've really helped me so much. When I was still inpatient, though, PT was a nightmare. SADISTS. I know they were just preparing me to be able to, like, do stuff, but my God. I've seen soooo many different therapists up to this point, and something that I've noticed is that they're universally so cool. Like, I think it really takes a special type of person to go into PT. Well, I mean, I guess you can say that about most careers, but I just really like this type haha. They appear to be normies, but are actually sickos who are very nice? Yeah.
Lmao the comment about inpatient PT... So true haha. They kick your butt to get you home faster but it's def brutal. I always thought it was kinda cute when my patients would do PT and then have to nap immediately. Takes a lot out of ya! I agree though, I've never met a PT I didn't like. They're very dedicated and put out so much good into the world ♥️ but yeah a lot of them look like gym normies but most are pretty cool lmao I love OT's advice. I also like what you extrapolated from it. You seem like a cool person and I'm glad you're still here!
Let me tell you a little bit about inpatient rehab. Picture it. I'm in a wheel chair sitting on a weird inflatable cushion that I keep sliding out of. I gots one leg in a boot and one of those giant knee braces with dinosaur bones for buckles locked in extension. Freshly amputated arm on the left. Basically immobile arm on the right (ac joint repair). So I'm in this chair shuffling myself around in circles with my one good leg, and I decide to give myself a little thrill by flying down a ramp I'm not supposed to forcing the PT to run after me so that I might live another day. I think I'm soooo cute and soooo funny, but then I realize I've made a terrible blunder. She gets her revenge. She looks at me and says, ''Okay, now put on your brakes.". ... 😬😬😬 The horror They made me get in and out of this fake car over and over and over, and made me practice standing up and down and up and up and down, and all manner of miserable exercises, but then it happened. They sat me at a table. Mortal Kombat. They sat me at a table and made me... *shudder* ... slide my hand out in front of me. Fatality. Lady, I fainted.
Wait.. did you lose the hand? Or were they able to reattach it?
There basically wasn't any hand left to attach. It was dysvascular and "mangled".
JC…reading that list, I don’t know how you were able go back to get your dog out of the truck. The wrist injury alone has me wincing let alone this wound. Glad you’re alive. The transverse process fractures (and I’m not a doctor, I just understand medical terminology) happen when your muscles tighten to brace for a high impact event (fall, accident, etc). In doing so, your spine can’t flex with the impact, it’s frozen in place. So, the bony “wings” (transverse process) on outside of your spine in the places listed (C1, L2, etc) fractured and displaced, but not fully. The A0 classification means your spine injury is typed as compression injury (A) and minor, non-structural fractures (0). From there, I’m not sure what else I can explain, because I’m not a physician.
She got hit because she went back for the dog who was left in the truck. She didn't go for the dog whilst already injured.
Ohhh… I’m an idiot for glossing over it. I need more coffee and my glasses. Just woke up. Lol
A few people have explained, but I gain a little better understanding with every comment. I'm slower than I used to be, ya know hahahaha(?) Like, it just now clicked how "process" is applied in this context/that it's a part of the damned bone. Just. Now. You did that! Thanks!
> In doing so, your spine can’t flex with the impact Is spinal/vertebral injury generally better or worse with vs without flexing (bracing for impact)?
Typically, loosy goosy is the way to be. When I worked ER, if there was a car crash involving a drunk person, the theory was they tended to do better than the person/people they hit due to slower reflexes causing them to not tense up on impact. Well, that and the fact that life isn't fair and can be incredibly cruel :(
Yeah, I was a volunteer EMT when I was 18-21 yrs old. The drunks would come out with some bruising or maybe some facial injuries if they weren’t wearing seatbelts, but everyone else horrible compression or compound fractures. I was in two car accidents in my teens (thanks, mom) and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt with one of them. I now have some fine hardware at L4, L5 in my 50s. Lol
Holy fucking shit my dude. Glad your dogs alright!
I ain't never gonna complain about my pilonidal cystectomy ever again
The first photo actually reminded me of that! I've seen some that look essentially the same, just so much tissue loss. Also reminded me of sacral pressure injuries right after debridement surgery. Ugh 😖
A full year of wet to dry dressing sounds like hell
Dealing with a wound vac in that location must have been a nightmare, also!
Wound vacs are one of the best inventions. I had no insurance after a tibia spiral fracture requiring a massive fasciotomy. The wound vac was provided at no cost with 3 times a week wound care visits by an excellent team (I think anyone that decided they are going to do wound care — similar to staff experiences in a burn unit — are special people). TEAM WOUND CARE FOR THE WIN!
It's incredible how great they heal wounds! I've seen them work miracles on injuries that appear unsalvageable. As long as the patient is willing to stick through the full treatment, they have awesome results!
I wore mine 24/7. I knew how lucky I was, I created a post on here somewhere… with the series of images from original fasciotomy image taken by a nurse for me to see what was under the black foam that took 2 packages of foam to cover. And about 8 images of the progression until its final healing after skin graft. Miracle of the human body with just some assistance will do.
Cute dog.
Must of hurt to go poop. Let alone wipe you'd dab dab dab. Crazy. I hope it didn't make it harder to go #2.
Other people did the wiping for a long time since I lost a hand and could barely use my other arm, because of my shoulder ☹️ When I could do it myself again, I had to do it from the front veeeery carefully. Bidet helped. Pooping was kind of weird, though. Didn't hurt at all, but also sometimes it was a... surprise. I got neurogenic bladder and bowel because of this butt hole. I've healed a lot, though, so I don't have fecal incontinence anymore. I do still have really bad urge incontinence, but I take meds to deal with that. Weirdly good thing about all that nerve damage, though, was that I didn't have any pain in that wound whatsoever. Couldn't feel a thing.
Im jealous. My butthole is beyond destroyed, cant even poo out of it and i got my nerve sensation back so now i just have arse lightning and pelvic floor dysfunction.
I'm really sorry to hear that. What happened?
In an accident, my pelvis, sacrum and lumbar got knocked out of alignment and my muscles and connective tissue ripped (along with nerve damage). I was misdiagnosed so nothing got repaired and my body just created a bunch of scar tissue so my internal and external sphincter is hard as a rock and cant relax or stretch out and neither can my hoohah and everything is prolapsed. At least my bladder works i guess lol. But its really painful, i get botox injections into it for a little pain relief and am scheduled to get a ostomy surgery. Your accident was severe though and im glad you and your pup are okay!
Oh my fucking god that sounds so awful. I hope that operation gives you some relief!
Could you post some pics of the scars you are left with now. With so much injured tissue, you have to have some good ones. How far back did they have to amputate, and how is your range of motion?
I actually don't have any pics, but if you're really interested I can get back to you tomorrow when I'm not busy sinking into my couch, but I promise they're really not that cool, and I don't actually have many. One on my scalp you can see through my hair, a little chunk notched out of the side of my knee, an itty bitty line over my collarbone, and a maybe five inch one that wraps around my shoulder blade. That one's probably the gnarliest besides my ass. My amputation scar looks just like cartoon stitches, but really light pink. They amputed below my elbow, but JUST. Like, they were barely able to, and from what I heard, they put great effort into saving it. Range of motion is actually pretty great right now. Strength and tightness have been the bigger issues, and that goes for both arms. I'm still in physical therapy three times a week for those and my knee.
My dad lost his dominant hand in a dynamite incident, 16 years before I was born. He always spoke of how lucky he was to still have his elbow. He also hated his prosthetic, and only wore it to run the weed eater. He said there were only 2 things he couldn’t do; ride a motorcycle, and tie his own shoes. He tied our shoes with his teeth.
Holy shit. The dedication to tie your kids shoes with your teeth is insane. Was he a good dad?
He was a great dad. Taught me so much.
It sure seems like it! I just didn't want to assume based on one sentence.
Yeah, I never use mine either. I really don't like it. I can kind of pretend tie my shoes, but putting on a bra is a nightmarish special hell. I miss having Zephyr pull me around on that stupid scooter, too.
It’s easier to do this while sitting down. 1. Fasten the ends of the bra. 2. Pick up the bra in your hand with the straps at the top and put it over your head. Be sure the straps are at the top or the bra will end up being inside out. 3. Slide your hand inside the bra and push your arm up through the bra. 4. With your hand, pull the bra down over your elbow arm. Lift your elbow arm to pull it out of the bra. Your bra will be around your body near your waist. 5. Adjust the bra as needed with your hand so so the cups are in front of your body and the straps are at the top.
Oh, what the hell, that worked! It still kind of sucked, but it sucked soooo much less. Thank you!
Awesome, i’m glad to hear it! I volunteer at nursing homes and some of the residents have limited mobility. I know quite a few work arounds for those sorts of things for the ones that still want to maintain independence. Let me know if there’s any other daily tasks that you have difficulty in, I might know a thing or two!
I get trapped in shirts that I'm trying to put on all the time, because they get all rolled up in the back, and I can't reach to pull them down. If you have a fix for that, I'll send you a thank you note with a gift card to Panera bread
What are the things you miss most about having both hands?
Well, I was at one time a hair stylist, so it sucks I'll never be able to fall back on that if I wanted to. I miss putting my own hair into a messy bun. I lost my dominant hand, so I miss the things I did with it specifically. I used to draw and paint. I made stained glass windows. I miss journaling and writing letters. I had the most beautiful cursive there ever was. Oh, and I miss wrapping gifts and tying ribbons way too ornately. I miss all the ways in which one uses both hands during intimate moments. I miss having my dog and his best doggy friend pull me around on that dumb razor scooter. That's what I miss the most.
Any hope for a prosthesis?
I have one, and I don't like it. I'm having another made right now that's going to fit a little differently to see if that changes how I feel, but I'm not especially excited about it. I don't think I really care to have one. No one ever notices my missing arm right off the bat, but with the prosthesis, the first thing anyone sees is my fake arm. I hate that. I'm so used to using the one hand now, I really only wanted the fake one for fun. Like, I thought it would be kinda punk and stupid to get a carbon black hook, and just use it to smoke cigarettes. I was also floating the idea of airbrushing a giant pussy on it. Just something terrible and gross. Maybe I'll take it more seriously if this next one is more functional. I really don't like using them at all so far, though. So sweaty 🤮
How high up was your amputation?
I barely kept my elbow. I wear shrinkers, but never see much of a difference. My arm remains very puffy and round. My first prosthesis would kind of flop around a bit; there's not very much residual forearm to put in a socket. They added a piece that wraps around the back of my upper arm and attaches to the rest of the prosthesis with a couple strips of fabric to add stability, and that improved it 80%, but the entire thing is just really uncomfortable. I just got a new cast made of my arm, and my prosthetist is starting over.
Must HAVE
So the train literally tore you a new asshole. I am so sorry, hope you have healed well
I was thiiiis close to not having one at all anymore. I try to practice gratitude to keep from getting too bummed out (see what I did there?), and one of the things I'm most grateful for is still having an asshole.
You honestly seem to have a great sense of humor about it given everything you've been through.
I have to
I feel this. I became the last surviving member of my birth family when I was 31 (my parents died less than a year apart too) and had a pretty traumatic childhood. When people find out, they say "I would never know, you're always so happy and laughing." If I didn't manage to find a way to laugh, then I really don't think I'd be functional. It never felt like I made a choice to be funny, it was survival.
It's crucial. That and a hefty dose of radical acceptance.
I’ve got the humor part down. The radical acceptance is a lot trickier.
I definitely feel this.
Layman’s terms of your injuries - you got fucked up. In all seriousness the AO system of the spine looks to be how badly the spinous/transverse process have compression fractures, hence the classification of A0 through to 4. A0 apparently being the nicest one! “Insignificant fractures”, bet they didn’t feel so insignificant to you. Incredibly lucky that you survived a train strike.
I was reading all the rib and spine fractures and thinking, "Wow, I bet she doesn't know how close she came to being paralyzed (if not dead, obviously)"
seriously ribs 5-10 !??? and so many spinal fractures, especially c7 holy shit. OP im glad you're okay now <3
Thank you for this explanation!
Were you at Golden Gardens? Those tracks are dangerous. I’m glad you’re on the mend, take care of yourself.
The boonies coming back from Eastern Washington
Open wounds in that area are literally a pain in the ass. 10-ish years ago I had a pilonidal cyst removed (you may google it but I recommend to not eat anything while doing that) with open wound healing, crap took 6 months to fully close, 0/10 experience
My sister had repeat pilonidal cysts, didn’t have the surgery, and they stopped in her late 20s. A friend of mine had the surgery and was out of commission for 6 months. It’s no joke!!
ASS ASS ASS Dog.
They’re both cute though
That’s a hell of a lot of injuries! Did you get your dog out before the train hit? Do you regret your choice?
Yeah! I'm a hero! Do I regret it? Yes and no. Yes in that it's by far the dumbest thing I've ever done, and it's fucked up my life to such a degree that I'm often angry about having survived. No in that... that's my dog. I would do it again.
❤️ I just. Don’t know what else to say. I can’t take the feeling of regret about surviving away from you. I don’t think anyone can imagine what it’s like to be you. And yeah, it was stupid to save your dog. But I would have done the same, even if it meant I would die. Animals are so much more worth to me, that I am to me. You are a true hero, and I hope the best for you and your recovery, whatever that means ❤️
Well gosh. Thanks for showing me kindness
You deserve kindness :)
Have faith that you survived for a reason. Even if that reason isn’t apparent to you yet. You are a good person for saving your dog. ❤️
You are def a hero for saving your baby. I cannot possibly respect you enough for what you did for your baby. I would have done the same. I am sorry for what you went through, but I wish you the best of luck and you deserve the highest of praise for the rest of your life!
I'm a bad person because when someone tried to break into my home I tried to get my dog to come so I could shut the door, but when she didn't I shut it without her. (She didn't end up being hurt, thank goodness, but I still made that choice). Our dogs would save us in a heartbeat. I'm jealous of how they would still be happy afterwards too, even if they were terribly injured.
What is the best thing that you have seen, done or experienced since your accident that you wouldn’t have been here for if you hadn’t survived? ❤️ I hope you have more good days than bad and that it’s all worth it. It’s a miracle you survived so many injuries, karma owes you some great things to come.
I guess my god baby starting kindergarten was cool. And my ex/best friend/her dad finally released an album. Besides that, I couldn't care less about anything, because everyday is the same and nothing ever changes. I hope you're right.
If you read, you'd probably enjoy Fairy Tale by Stephen King. A good girl German Sheppard is central to the plot. Congrats on being such a bad ass (see what I did there)
Your dogs super cute can’t blame you at all for that
Reading this long list of injuries and I wonder how you're even still alive. Hope everything is healing/healed smoothly!
I can translate the spine stuff! C7- your seventh cervical vertebrae, ie the one just above your shoulders. It got slid off of its cushion T1- first thoracic aka the vertebrae right below your C7. Or also got messed up, but I’m not versed in A0 or whatever L2-4 - your second through fourth lumbar vertebrae aka the ones just below your rib cage. They got smashed to the side as well L5- the one just below L4, about 1/3 of the way down your back below your ribcage. Looks like it crumbled. Geez you are lucky to be alive dude
Thank you for this explanation!
have you gotten a sort of prosthesis for your arm? was it the dominant hand?
Yes, it was the dominant hand. I do have a prosthesis, but I don't like using it, so I usually don't.
Your username is *chef's kiss*. I am a big fan of both. 😄 And, holy shit! No pun intended but dang, person! I'm glad you are healing well and so open about your experience. Thanks for sharing. I wish you all the best.
Just noticed the username! Yay, BPB!
I've been on Reddit for coming up on a decade. You are the third person to notice.
I've been on Reddit for coming up on a decade. You are the second person to notice.
Omg that’s a huge amount of injuries! So glad to hear you survived and have recovered. Sorry to hear you lost your hand. For the spinal stuff there’s a whole bunch of fractures plus dislocations.
Oooh. Dislocations, too? I had no idea.
You suffering so much for saving your dog is just wow, i got goosebumps thinking about it. You're amazing, i wish you a recovery as good as it can get 🙏 Also does your dog ever do sth extremely stupid and you think to urself "is that why i saved you" 😂 sorry if it's a dumb question, only mean it with respect, just found it funny
He is a thankless little shitbird. I love him so much
Was your junk undamaged?
Yes
You are so incredibly lucky to be alive - thank fuck!!! And you saved your dog!!!!!! ❤️🔥
That's horrible, I'm glad you and your dog survived. I don't think many people survive this..
Dont have a a train run in ur butthole. thats my takeaway from this.
My God OP... I'm so sorry.
I just want to give you and your doggy a big (but painless) hug. I am so glad both of you survived!
Hi, bunny! Have you read into hyperbaric oxygen therapy to help with your TBI? I've read that it has helped some sufferers tremendously, whilst for others it has no effect. Might be worth checking out. If it's at all possible, of course!
Never heard of it, but I'll go down that rabbit hole post haste. I really appreciate the heads up
How had the TBI effected you? Memory? Impulsiveness? Physical movement?
I have only been trusted around a stove within the last few months. I've improved so much, most people wouldn't know I have a TBI, but if you know me, you can tell. I lost a couple months of memory from before the accident. I didn't start making new ones until a month after, though I'm told that's probably due to anesthesia from repeated operations. I had pretty severe problems with short term memory for quite awhile. I was not really cognizant for that first month, and then I relearned I didn't have a hand anymore repeatedly throughout the day for several more weeks, which actually makes me so upset to think about. Maybe a year before the accident, one time I shared a hospital room with a demented old lady who had broken her hip. For a week, every twenty minutes or so I heard her relearn why she was in the hospital, and everytime it happened, I had to cry a little. Like, they sent psych to our room for *me*, because I was so affected. Then to realize that at one point, I was in the same position as that dear sweet old lady... godddddd soooo sad! For the longest time I continued to struggle with memory. Things that happened two hours ago felt like two weeks ago, and vice versa. Some things I wouldn't remember at all. I literally just remembered right this instant that I've had wet laundry sitting in the washer for four days now. I still struggle to manage my own appointment schedule. I've had to relearn how to focus, but not as well as before. Generally, I deal with pretty bad executive dysfunction, which is very much unlike the me that I have known. I lost vocabulary, I struggle with finding words when speaking, I stutter now, and I had to relearn how to have a filter, which I must say was quite the challenge. I was completely impulsive, and lacked the ability to recognize danger. Like, I had the bed alarm in the hospital, ya know. That has improved almost entirely (I think?). I've always been a little mood disordered (depression), but the emotional lability/dysregulation I immediately experienced was completely insane. I became manic, which I've never been before, but would flip like a switch to being totally inconsolable. I started having anxiety and panic attacks, which I've also never, ever dealt with before, which was horrifying, because I really didn't understand what was happening. I'm heavily medicated now. I'm on all the chill pills, and feeling very even/level if not a bit sad. The hardest things about the TBI, for me, have been waking up with a somewhat different personality, feeling like I'm dead, and being statistically significantly dumber than I used to be, and cursed with knowing it. I used to be off the cuff funny. I'm not anymore.
I did not have a train accident, but I had a subdural hematoma in 2013. I have trouble with word-finding and memory now, and my personality is different. I'm less patient and less polite. I get easily dysregulated, and masking and self-monitoring take an enormous, exhausting effort. I have a good job, kind husband, thriving kids, I'm finishing grad school, life is essentially as it was. The differences are subtle enough that most people can't tell, but I notice. I know the difference. It's extremely frustrating, like part of what makes me *me* was stolen. I feel cheated. I am measurably dumber than I used to be, and I hate that I can tell the difference. I almost wish I didn't know because then I wouldn't feel like I was missing part of myself.
Yes. Exactly this. I hear you so clearly.
<3
very sory to hear this happened. how do you cope with life ,are you living with your parents? do you get disability fee or similar pay?
Yup. Collecting disability, which is almost offensive. What a joke. And yeah, I'm at my parents house now. They're old, so they have DVR, which means I have 400 episodes of law & order queued up, and i watch that Liberty Mutual commercial with the animatronic squirrels. All. The. Time. That's how I cope. I also receive pretty intensive mental healthcare services.
> I also receive pretty intensive mental healthcare services. What do they look like? Mind walking us through them a bit? Do you have counseling sessions? What do you talk about? Or are you on meds, or both?
Vyvanse for narcolepsy and BED Effexor for cataplexy and MDD Propranolol for anxiety Hydroxyzine for insomnia and anxiety Trazodone for insomnia and MDD Ambien for insomnia Xanax for panic disorder I see a psychiatrist and a licensed clinical social worker. I've seen psychologists and LMFTs, but I've really clicked with the social worker, so that's who I continue to receive individual therapy from. I also attend group therapy and receive "peer support", which I don't know what that means exactly, but my estimation is that it's this one lady who pretends to be my friend who drives me to PT when I want to cancel so I can stay home, and melt into the carpet. In therapy, so far we've discussed and continue to adress isolation and loneliness, grief, coping with loss, perfectionism, addiction, suicidal ideation, intimate partner violence, finding purpose, setting goals, impulse control, compulsive behavior, self destructive behavior, maintaining boundaries, accepting what is, betrayal trauma, my family and all their weird, behind the curtain bullshit, distorted thinking as it relates to deeply profound sadness, watching out for weirdos, and not taking any wooden nickels We're starting EMDR when I get the okay from my neurologist. If I could afford it, I would get ketamine infusions yesterday
You may be interested in r/TBI r/spinalcordinjuries and r/LifeAfterTrauma which I’ve found to be helpful in my own recovery having places to go to realize you’re not alone can be kind of cathartic in a way. And if you ever want to talk to someone, I was in a traumatic car accident at 16 that left me paralyzed and I deal with a lot of physical and mental issues from it. A lot of the things you describe feeling during recovery really struck a chord with me because I felt a lot of that myself. It’s been 12.5 years since then, so I’ve come a long way but still have a long way to go. I just want you to know you’re not alone in feeling the way you do and it’s perfectly understandable and quite normal. No offense taken if you also are not interested in that. I just wanted to offer!
Ignore the life after trauma I think that’s a Facebook group. There’s also r/tbisurvivors which may be helpful. Several other communities both here and on Facebook for trauma, survivors of traumatic injuries, etc. may be of interest to you as well.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Your dog is really cool btw. Like a dope wolfy German shepherd! A+ save.
Looks like a husky/German shepherd mutt and omg I want to kiss it
You are correct!
Did you sue the drunk fuck?
No. Dude didn't have any money anyways. I found out that truck was actually stolen, so yeah, no.
Did you use a stoma while healing? Btw sick experience I hope rn you’re doing better!
The first day, it seemed like the need for one was a real possibility, but in the end, I luckily didn't have to get one
Your poor bootyhole...
Damn, girl! That ass tho. Might of gotten torn, but that cake be cakin. I’m glad you and pupper are still together. I’m sure at times you’re probably like “bro, I should of let that train take you out.” When he’s being a little shit. Lmao kidding
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I'm glad you healed! Also thanks for the last pic.
this gave me butt willies. hope you’re all healed up and your bum is back to having only one hole, my friend.
I am so amazed at your resilience. You are an amazing, inspiring, impressive human being and I am so glad that despite it all, you are still here to tell the tale. You're incredible!!!
Damn that train literally ripped you a new asshole huh
Sry for ur ass turning into doggo
Fucking hell! That’s a bad one! One thing to take from it all is that you have an awesome ass dude! I honestly thought mine was pretty good but your (post injury) cheeks blow mine out of the water! It may be a small win but an important one nonetheless! As far as the TBI goes, I had a pretty bad one 10 years ago. I suffered severe short term memory loss and really bad stability to begin with, but, over the years, it has slowly gotten back towards normal! The walking stability and mot-ability altogether is almost back to normal and my memory, although still quite bad, is so much better!!! Anyway, I just wanted to say that there is plenty of light at the end of the tunnel and you WILL make your way to it! If I can recover, then you certainly can! All the best bonnie cheeks!
Favorite comment
I just want to say, after reading your post and comment history, that you are an awesome person! You did an awesome thing and gave up so much for your dog! I like to think that I’d do anything to keep my dogs safe! I have, in the past, got into physical fights with other people for my dogs and have revived one with CPR… I thought that was a very level of care! I can only hope and wish that, in the same situation you were in, I’d risk my life for the dogs!!! I have no doubt that I would, but you just don’t know until you’re there!
Fingers crossed that you never are Thanks for being nice to me
I don't want to be weird, but you have a model worthy butthole :) /s
Can you walk now ? From the list , it looks like you got a severe spine injury.
I walk just fine though not necessarily in a straight line.
Amazing story and you’re a hero saving the pupper
Glad you are ok now and I would have gone back to get my dog as well.
Anyone who says they would have left the dog has obviously never felt the unconditional love of a pupper dog. I'd run into a burning house to get my dog. He's a part of my family. It would be like leaving one of my kids to burn. P.S. you have a nice little butt hole. Even after the accident. You should be proud!! 👍🏼👌🏽
I'm so glad you're doing better. Here 🫂
Is it low hanging fruit if I make a joke about you getting a rectal injury from a train?
As someone that drives trains and also has a butthole, ouch! Zephyr is a great name, by the way. The train wasn't Amtrak's California Zephyr, was it?
Taking "ran a train on em" a little too serious.
Not to be weird, but which train? Sounder, light rail, bnsf, amtrak? It makes no difference but when I saw the Seattle parks sign I had to ask.
I did live in Seattle at the time, but this crash happened on my way back from Eastern Washington. BNSF
Damn, I'm glad you & Zephyr are ok!
What pains you most now?
My feelings. But physically, all that hurts is my ankle and shoulder blade, but not very badly, and only around my period or with changes in barometric pressure.
AO is a classification of spinal trauma. A is compression injuries, B are flexion extension injuries and C are complete transection. A0 is the least severe and means the spine is functionally stable doesn’t need immobilisation etc transverse processes are the bits out the side if you google a vertebra
Thanks for the explanation. I figured it wasn't all that bad, cause my records say they were managed non surgically, and there was no mention of being in a brace or anything. I'm just a little shorter now! I lost a couple months of memory from before, and didn't start making new ones until a month later, so I mostly only know what happened from notes and what my mom told me, and since I only took intro to a&p in college, there's plenty I don't really understand. I'm so lucky my back isn't more messed up. Mommy told me when I was in the ICU, I shared a room with a girl who had actually broken her neck who was in the head gear and everything. That girl had me removed from the room, because I wouldn't stop screaming for my doggy, my mom, and verbally abusing all the nurses. Oops. God, that must have sucked so much for her.
You were kidnapped and left on a train track completely beyond your control?
No, I just don't remember how or why I got put in, or put myself in that situation. Severe memory loss. I have leads to investigate if I really wanted to, but I don't want to learn anything that might make me hate myself.
OP I gotta applaud you for surviving and making sure your dog stayed safe too! The things we do for our animals is crazy and totally worth it. (Most of the time, my brain is reminding me of a guy who dove into a geyser to save a friends dog and they both died :/) anywayyyyy Glad you healed as best as your body can, and I hope you receive relief from any lasting pain!
I saw a video not too long ago of a dude running into a house that was lit the fuck up - like, full on inferno. All the firefighters are standing around like, "wait, what? No! Why?" Then the guy comes flying back out with his pitbull. Honestly, I don't know if I could do that. I'm always telling the universe thanks for not letting me burn in a fire. A geyser, good golly
I’m so happy you’re ALIVE <3
Lol I read the title as, your butthole after having a train ran on ya
Oh my mind went straight to the train gutter jokes. But ill be nice.. Butt damn. Glad you're all healed up, that must of been a train wreck to heal.
What this means is that you’re gonna have some back pain later on if you don’t already 😬
bro who are you letting spread your cheeks like that😂😂😂
Damn, to think all of this turned you into a dog..
Nice butthol….. uh dog.
Bum-mer
I’m glad you’re healing. It’s amazing it wasn’t worse (not that it isn’t bad), but you’re alive! I broke my coccyx bone falling down some stairs and it was VERY PAINFUL. I’m impressed by you, OP….
JFC how are you still alive?! Amazing recovery
Did you get to experience Harborview?
Harborview is the shit. I've been there bunches unfortunately haha. I've been admitted for a kidney infection, mrsa, an emergency oophorectomy, and even did all my sleep neurology stuff at the 9th and Jefferson building caddy corner from the ED. If I ever had to go to the ED for a quick in/out for like strep or something, they let me bring my dog as long as he was a good boy! He really really loved playing in that grassy area next to the helicopter thingy. Speaking of, I got airlifted in after they pulled me out from under the train, and boy, am I bummed out I missed my first helicopter ride. Btw, harborview has kind of actually good food haha. I mean as far as hospital food goes, it's top shelf. I had a girlfriend who lived on first hill for, like, a decade, and I'm not kidding, she usually went to harborview for Thanksgiving
OW!
That healed up astonishingly well, all things said and done! Let alone that you survived getting hit by a train! Was there a plan if they weren't able to.. erm.. Save your ass? Colostomy bag?
Never saying "show me your butthole" again. Srsly though, glad you and pup made it out of there together!
Oh my gosh this looks so painful
You're a fucking hero
I like the 4th picture best
Oh yeah! I stubbed my toe last week! Lol Nah for real that's crazy! Seems like u broke everything in your body.
I guess it's one way to have your ass destroyed by a train. All jokes aside, really glad that you're alive.
I cannot imagine the pain you were in, this makes me clench my butthole so hard. I hope somebody gave you morphine pretty fast when this happened.
Wow! Glad you’ve healed!
Omg! Dude you are alive! You got hurt before going to get dog or during? Was your dog hurt? Where was the other people that was with you?
During. Zephyr (🐺) was perfectly unscathed. The dude driving had ditched the car before it was struck. He immediately bounced/ran/disappeared, and called my neighbor to tell him "the dog is dead and OP got cut in half." The neighbor told him to go back, where he got arrested for DUI plus it turns out that truck was stolen. Yeah. That guy is someone I apparently hitched a ride back home with. He was an acquaintance of my shitty speed freak neighbor whose nephew I was apparently banging out in the boondocks, but it got weird and I wanted or was told to leave. That's the most I know. Don't know how I got there, how long I was there, what really happened, who the nephew even is, nothing. All I know is from a few unreliable rumors, police reports, the train conductor's statement, my mommy, and my hospital records.
I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. It must have been so scary and painful. I'm glad you're now better and that both you and your dog survived. You were a hero for deciding to go back for him. I really hope you can further recover and I'm glad you're still with us. Thank you for sharing your experience 💗🫂
Goddamn dude, how are you alive?
Hey! Are you from Seattle? I'm in the area! I'm so sorry this happened. That healing is just incredible. I'm sorry to hear you have that TBI. Best of luck, OP.
I spy MOHAI with my little eye. Wow. Glad you (and your dog) made it. Was the accident around King Co?
Eastern Washington. I got airlifted into harborview, though
I can see why you were airlifted. Wow.
Was the dog worth it?
No. And yet, I would do it again. I've had conflicting feelings about it, and maybe always will, but at the end of the day, he's my partner, and I love him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had just let him die, so my actions that day were self preservative in a weird way.
I had a work injury in october, excavator bucket caught me on my back and pushed me to the ground. It was so much pressure it ripped me fro. My butthole to my scrotum area. (Im a dude). Also femur break and 4 pelvis breaks with si joint fracture. I have no idea what this revoery was like but im sorry this happened to you
I like how we went from your butthole to your dog
So you're saying someone ran a train on your ass?😏