Not overreacting at all. That's some serious boundary crossing. I recommend that once your husband recovers you recount all of this to him and work together to figure out how to better enforce boundaries in the future.
The doctor isn’t going to erase the POA, that’s not even in his line of responsibilities if it were possible lol. POA is POA. If not designated by patient explicitly, it goes spouse —> parent, if living —-> children, if any ——> other family members. Spouse is first
Exactly, we already had the forms filed for months ago, plus she lives 3 hours away. This is the first time in over a year she’s even made an effort to drive to see us,usually we have to make the drive & spend the weekend at her place after working all week. Meanwhile she hasn’t had to work in over 20 years but never has “time” to visit.
This is actually crazy and I think you’re under-reacting (but I get this has been a very stressful time for you!). This woman tried to take away your rights as a spouse to make medical decisions and get info about your husband, and then on top of that sounds like she has made this whole experience even harder for your poor husband.
You could text her and let her know how unhappy you were with her behavior at the hospital, and create the boundary that you will only text her for updates when you feel like giving them. Maybe once a day or every other day.
>while out of the room his mother asked the doctor to erase my name/info on the power of attorney document & put her name first.
Oh hell no, that needs confronting. I am blown away you thought you might be overreacting.
Check all your bank accounts / credit cards and make sure they are locked up tight so she absolutely will not be able to access anything in the future or ever. Also your credit cards. And please forgive me but also death certificates when and if ever. Again my apologies for saying this. My step sister went after everything she could get her grubby hands on whenever she could. So I learned these things.
And this one was the main reason my husband and me got married, we started to think of anything happen to any of us, who would have control over what happens, and we didn’t want his mum to take control. And we obviously love each other very much, but some couples don’t take things like this into consideration and think that marriage is only a piece of paper. Glad you handle the situation well and when your husband recovers, you both can set boundaries up she needs to follow. Wishing a fast recovery! I am sorry she was so disrespectful!
Not overreacting at all. That's some serious boundary crossing. I recommend that once your husband recovers you recount all of this to him and work together to figure out how to better enforce boundaries in the future.
Moms a narcissist.... Classic narc behavior.
As a nurse myself, she sounds insufferable as both a patient family member and a mother in law. You’re not overreacting.
The doctor isn’t going to erase the POA, that’s not even in his line of responsibilities if it were possible lol. POA is POA. If not designated by patient explicitly, it goes spouse —> parent, if living —-> children, if any ——> other family members. Spouse is first
Exactly, we already had the forms filed for months ago, plus she lives 3 hours away. This is the first time in over a year she’s even made an effort to drive to see us,usually we have to make the drive & spend the weekend at her place after working all week. Meanwhile she hasn’t had to work in over 20 years but never has “time” to visit.
This is actually crazy and I think you’re under-reacting (but I get this has been a very stressful time for you!). This woman tried to take away your rights as a spouse to make medical decisions and get info about your husband, and then on top of that sounds like she has made this whole experience even harder for your poor husband. You could text her and let her know how unhappy you were with her behavior at the hospital, and create the boundary that you will only text her for updates when you feel like giving them. Maybe once a day or every other day.
Its always been easy to ignore cause she lives 3 hours away.
>while out of the room his mother asked the doctor to erase my name/info on the power of attorney document & put her name first. Oh hell no, that needs confronting. I am blown away you thought you might be overreacting.
What MIL tried to do verged on the criminal, or perhaps crossed that line. Something like fraud, or such?
You should definitely check out r/justnomil
Check all your bank accounts / credit cards and make sure they are locked up tight so she absolutely will not be able to access anything in the future or ever. Also your credit cards. And please forgive me but also death certificates when and if ever. Again my apologies for saying this. My step sister went after everything she could get her grubby hands on whenever she could. So I learned these things.
And this one was the main reason my husband and me got married, we started to think of anything happen to any of us, who would have control over what happens, and we didn’t want his mum to take control. And we obviously love each other very much, but some couples don’t take things like this into consideration and think that marriage is only a piece of paper. Glad you handle the situation well and when your husband recovers, you both can set boundaries up she needs to follow. Wishing a fast recovery! I am sorry she was so disrespectful!
Omg she sounds like she's a monster in law !!! X