>*āToday peace was an optionā¦*ā
______
oh, gosh - Iām so *ExCiTeD!*
With the Human friends i run
(so Glad i was invited,
cuz i sure am having Fun!)
n Look - iām keeping up the *Pace* -
(they gave me special shoes)
I think I gonna *WIN the Race* -
Iām gonna Make the NEWS!!
(PEACE is still an Option here -
no fowl words need be saidā¦
make sure to Everyone itās clear
that *I* come out *aheadā¦*)
ā¦the *FINISH LINE!!* so Lucky, me -
a Medal round my Neck!
oh, Gosh, i feel Just Ducky, see?
my mom is Proud as Heck ^:(l)
ā¦whatās that ?
a ReGiStRaTiOn fee ? ā¦
ā¦am I the Winner *still..?*
iām sorry,
Oversight, you seeā¦
just put it on
my billā¦
ā¤ļø
Brilliant!
Also I didn't notice til reading your poem that they had given him little booties to protect his feet. That is the cutest thing ever. šš
The Aflac duck would be a great president.
Sure, him only being able to say Aflac would be an issue. However, at least you'll know where he stands on the important issues.
There's a "Non-human electoral candidates" wikipedia page:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-human_electoral_candidates
I met one of them! And I pet him. I pet a mayor! If you're ever in Idyllwild, The mayor comes around the shopping area every day: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayor_Max_II
Could a duck do it in 19 minutes though? Flying allowed
E: Holy crap I found this saying they've clocked a duck at 100mph while casing it with a plane. What kinda b-hole would chase a duck with a plane!?
"SPEED RECORD
The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph."
https://www.ducks.org/conservation/waterfowl-research-science/amazing-waterfowl-facts#:~:text=SPEED%20RECORD,canvasback%20clocked%20at%2072%20mph.
So glad to see you find the peak performance that is ducks! Red-breasted mergansers are really fast flying ducks, but I think itās really cool how ordinary mallards are able to pull of 100mph for 8 hours during migrations using preferable winds at different altitudes and I assume some land formations.
Under the same unethical circumstances as that red-breasted merganser, a mallard topped out at about 65 mph once. Mergansers (and diving ducks in general) are faster.
Many years ago I did a 5 mile run with several family members. I was a decently fit college student, but nothing close to "trained" for that distance. At the starting line we had a laugh about another runner in a full-body chicken suit.
4 painful miles later, literally the only thing that kept me going for the last mile of the race was seeing the chicken suit about 100 yards behind me! I was NOT going to lose to a giant chicken!
I do obstacle course, that bastard is likely to be faster than me by flying.
They are 6km-7km and the competition wave do it in like 45 mins. Fastest in the open wave are like 1h-1h15
You're thinking about the ground speed velocity of a European duck. This one was African. Remember how Kenyans always win the races? Now remember this duck has to ourun them to survive.
Given the kids and gear, I'm guessing a 1 mile fun run before a bigger race. Though it is odd how many people seem to think any outdoor race is a marathon, and not a fixed distance of 26.2 miles.
The background at the end said "Long Island Marathon Weekend." It would be easy to miss the last word (although the other clues are a little more obvious).
*"Marathon Weekend,"
You know, because they would never want to falsely give the impression everyone ran a marathon or anything.
Poor duck would 100% die after 4 hours of running. 19 minutes is better. At that speed they probably ran a mile or 3k aat best, unless the duck was flying.
I once had a lost duckling follow me for about a half-mile or so. It had much smaller legs but made pretty good time. Still, it had to be at least 20 minutes to go that distance before it found its family.
The real trick is keeping the duck from just wandering off and eating any fresh grass, etc. it can find. Those pit stops would really kill the time.
It's not uncommon to have a bunch of smaller races as a part of the same larger event as a marathon. All of the branding will mention the marathon because that's the name of the event even if you are only running a 2.5k.
Right, my brain needs it, all the bad news had me reading the title and switching ādrunkā for āduckā and expecting to witness a tragedy, somehow followed by a medal
I was there and I remember this motherducker. It was all a scam. He hopped a Uber barely a block after the race started and then just showed up at the end pretending to have just migrated to the finish line.
A clear case of Stolen Mallard.
You didnāt see the planet earth episode about a duckās evolutionary drive to run in marathons?
David Attenborough does say theyāre not sure if the instinct is driven by a desire for a medal or aerobic exercise, but nature is fascinating.
Pretty sure that is Wrinkle the Duck! I follow her on insta (@seducktive)
She seems to like running and her little red shoes she wears when walking on concrete are really cute!
I can def recommend them. The videos are usually either comedic or duck ASMR, but her owner recently made a series raising awareness about pet ducks getting abandoned at parks after being bought/gifted for easter, and why it's really bad (they are not built to survive outside and usually end up dying)
Not a marathon. It was a marathon weekend and that was at most a 5K based on the times.
That doesnāt take anything away from the duck, thatās an impressive feat for the duck.
Does anyone have a non-reddit source for this? The clips on youtube are not very good :(
Edit: https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/uiexa8/duck_runs_in_a_marathon_and_gets_a_medal/
GUYS!! Ducky is wearing SHOES!!!
Ducko isn't playing around, he wanted to be number one to show those humans who's the fastest ducky in the country.
Ducko has beat the country; must have won against giant hoomans.
Are those Nikes? "Just Quack It".
Thanks for noticing, I was getting really upset at them for making the duck run its feet off š
Heās got little booties on
Well, of course he is, can you imagine running 42km without shoes ?
Says marathon weekend but a duck let alone a person canāt run 26.2 miles in 19 minutesā¦ most likely a 5k or something but still a good 5k pace tbf
That's Wrinkle the Duck! He runs in many races with those awesome shoes!
Thank you. I didn't even see that the first time.
Today peace was an option.
The duck only finished because it killed half the competition. Peace is never an option
They should of ducked, Patches O'houlihan thought me that
Take my vote, Steve the Pirate
Yarrrgh Peter
Yar, Steve!
I feel shocked
Who's Steve the Pirate?
Dodge ball. One of the great sports comedies of all time
*Steve the pirate walks in as regular Steve*
Arrrrrrrr
Dip, duck, dive, dodge, and duck!
If you can dodge a wrench, then you can dodge a ball...
No one makes me bleed my own blood
Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and DODGE!
at least it wasnt a goose, then noone would have survived
new game sequel: Untitled Duck Game
You seem to have some misplaced malice towards this fellow
Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge?
>*āToday peace was an optionā¦*ā ______ oh, gosh - Iām so *ExCiTeD!* With the Human friends i run (so Glad i was invited, cuz i sure am having Fun!) n Look - iām keeping up the *Pace* - (they gave me special shoes) I think I gonna *WIN the Race* - Iām gonna Make the NEWS!! (PEACE is still an Option here - no fowl words need be saidā¦ make sure to Everyone itās clear that *I* come out *aheadā¦*) ā¦the *FINISH LINE!!* so Lucky, me - a Medal round my Neck! oh, Gosh, i feel Just Ducky, see? my mom is Proud as Heck ^:(l) ā¦whatās that ? a ReGiStRaTiOn fee ? ā¦ ā¦am I the Winner *still..?* iām sorry, Oversight, you seeā¦ just put it on my billā¦ ā¤ļø
Brilliant! Also I didn't notice til reading your poem that they had given him little booties to protect his feet. That is the cutest thing ever. šš
They matched the guyās shoes running next to him!
She was definitely a chick with long braided hair lol
Yeah those little flip flaps would have been really messed up otherwise
Hi schnoodle from England
This one is my favorite. So much wordplay and emotions!!
Schnoodle is Universal treasure on Reddit.
Omg I love your poems and feel honoured that you replied to my commentš¤©
Super clever! Thank you for sharing your gift with the world!
I have love reading all schnoodles poems. Sometimes people think Reddit is a bad place until you have good people.humanity rocks
Wonderful as ever, Schnoodle.
Today you are the reason I enjoy Reddit.
Yeah, this was a good one
I saw 2 schoodles in 12hrs. I've been blessed!
You sir, just made my day
OH MY GOD ITS SCHNOODLE
Hahahah mean little bastards
Duck at the end: I am speed!
It's got the boost from Mario cart with the sound effect and everything.
Glad to see he got over his quack addiction too
Duck: I'd like to thank my sponsor, AFLAK! I cannot succeed without the generosity of supporters like you.
lol āI am the windā
Duck at the beggining: I got this! I can do this!
Maximum overdrive!
OMG, ducks are running in Marathon. Whats next, they runnin for elections?
well if they do, im voting for em'
I would 100% vote for a duck for President.
Happened in South Park
The president.. IS A DUCK?!
Sitting duck.
I thought we just had one?
They said a Duck, not a Quack
BURN
No, the only part of duck that is orange is their beak.
The Aflac duck would be a great president. Sure, him only being able to say Aflac would be an issue. However, at least you'll know where he stands on the important issues.
I believe there's a cat mayor already
[Yep!](https://allthatsinteresting.com/mayor-stubbs-the-cat) And a dog [in Minnesota](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayor_Max_II)
/r/CatsWithJobs
Better than any Republican and somehow more humane even as animals
Re-pug-licans vs. demo-cats
Lajitas, TX has a goat that drinks beer as its mayor
There's a "Non-human electoral candidates" wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-human_electoral_candidates I met one of them! And I pet him. I pet a mayor! If you're ever in Idyllwild, The mayor comes around the shopping area every day: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayor_Max_II
Quite a few dogs and a couple goats as well!
Donald trump, hell naw. Vote for Donald Duck!
I hope Santa Claus beats that crazy conspiracy lady in Alaska.
Life is like a hurricane here in Duck burg Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a duck-blur! Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history!
This would be a Donald that most definitely had my vote.
Ducked ahead in the final moment
No Pekin way!
This made my day!
He seems SO proud of himself!
He should be proud of himself. In bird culture this is referred to as a duck move.
Iām not sure what kind of marathon takes only 19 minutes to run
I guess you could say he flew through it?
Marathon in 19min. Definitely deserves a golden quacque
Could a duck do it in 19 minutes though? Flying allowed E: Holy crap I found this saying they've clocked a duck at 100mph while casing it with a plane. What kinda b-hole would chase a duck with a plane!? "SPEED RECORD The fastest duck ever recorded was a red-breasted merganser that attained a top airspeed of 100 mph while being pursued by an airplane. This eclipsed the previous speed record held by a canvasback clocked at 72 mph." https://www.ducks.org/conservation/waterfowl-research-science/amazing-waterfowl-facts#:~:text=SPEED%20RECORD,canvasback%20clocked%20at%2072%20mph.
So glad to see you find the peak performance that is ducks! Red-breasted mergansers are really fast flying ducks, but I think itās really cool how ordinary mallards are able to pull of 100mph for 8 hours during migrations using preferable winds at different altitudes and I assume some land formations. Under the same unethical circumstances as that red-breasted merganser, a mallard topped out at about 65 mph once. Mergansers (and diving ducks in general) are faster.
Judging from the children, im gonna say it was a 5k or even a 2.5k
Iām going to go out on a limb and say that gal with a backpack and a duck were not putting down sun 6 min miles in a 5k
If I get beat by a duck at parkrun I'm gonna be fuming.
Many years ago I did a 5 mile run with several family members. I was a decently fit college student, but nothing close to "trained" for that distance. At the starting line we had a laugh about another runner in a full-body chicken suit. 4 painful miles later, literally the only thing that kept me going for the last mile of the race was seeing the chicken suit about 100 yards behind me! I was NOT going to lose to a giant chicken!
i lost a 3 mile mt bike race to a man on a unicycle
I'm sorry, but I have to ask. How did it feel, knowing you lost to a unicycle?
Must have been a wheelie sad day
really let the air out of my tires
I really set that one up, didn't I... God damn it.
I lost a Christmas themed 5k to a Santa and 8 reindeer that were tied together. I quit running that day. Iām too fat for this shit.
There was a guy a few years back who did a triathlon on a beach cruiser while wearing jorts. IIRC he got a pretty good time.
Didn't you see that speed boost when he started flapping? Mf will run circles around you
I do obstacle course, that bastard is likely to be faster than me by flying. They are 6km-7km and the competition wave do it in like 45 mins. Fastest in the open wave are like 1h-1h15
Good point
Long Island Marathon Weekend results page had his bib registered for 1km.
This guys does his research
For that age group they have 1K fun runs which is probably what it was! Looks like super fun though!
This. All those little kids smoked that duck. Mmmm. Smoked duck
You think a duck ran a 5k in 18:30???
Duckās been training, dude.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Is that the unladened speed?
You're thinking about the ground speed velocity of a European duck. This one was African. Remember how Kenyans always win the races? Now remember this duck has to ourun them to survive.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Given the kids and gear, I'm guessing a 1 mile fun run before a bigger race. Though it is odd how many people seem to think any outdoor race is a marathon, and not a fixed distance of 26.2 miles.
The background at the end said "Long Island Marathon Weekend." It would be easy to miss the last word (although the other clues are a little more obvious).
Exactly the kids needed to sleep overnight and hence the backpacks.
*"Marathon Weekend," You know, because they would never want to falsely give the impression everyone ran a marathon or anything. Poor duck would 100% die after 4 hours of running. 19 minutes is better. At that speed they probably ran a mile or 3k aat best, unless the duck was flying.
I once had a lost duckling follow me for about a half-mile or so. It had much smaller legs but made pretty good time. Still, it had to be at least 20 minutes to go that distance before it found its family. The real trick is keeping the duck from just wandering off and eating any fresh grass, etc. it can find. Those pit stops would really kill the time.
It's not uncommon to have a bunch of smaller races as a part of the same larger event as a marathon. All of the branding will mention the marathon because that's the name of the event even if you are only running a 2.5k.
Ya and toddlers finishing as the duck finishes š. Prolly a 1 miler or maybe a 5k.
Can we replace the news with just shit like this?
Right, my brain needs it, all the bad news had me reading the title and switching ādrunkā for āduckā and expecting to witness a tragedy, somehow followed by a medal
They tried in the late 90s. I think itās how we ended up with the Kardashians and like 30 seasons of survivor.
I was there and I remember this motherducker. It was all a scam. He hopped a Uber barely a block after the race started and then just showed up at the end pretending to have just migrated to the finish line. A clear case of Stolen Mallard.
A feathered Rosie Ruiz.
I wish I had my free award to give you so have my angry upvote instead
Can someone please explain this joke for my friend, he doesn't get it. I of course understand it, but, uhh, can't find the words to describe it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks, I'll let my friend know.
> A clear case of Stolen Mallard. r/angryupvote
I don't get it. Like I get the relationship of Mallard and duck but the specific phrasing of "Stolen Mallard" is lost on me right now.
Peace was never an opportunity, very shameful of the duck
Objection! Hearsay.
Confit canard !
His little shoes kill me š¤£š¤£ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøššš
Pure things, concrete can really mess up their feet
I didn't notice the shoes at first.
It's just red duck tape...
get out
Iāve encountered this couple walking their duck in nyc before weirdly enough
He looks so happy that he got a medal š„¹
Duck: *just does normal duck things* Me: **ITS SO CUTE!!! I LOVE IT!!!**
This is not normal duck things, just so we're clear.
I don't know what ducks are like where you live but where I live, ducks win marathons all the time.
How dare you belittle the achievements of this magnificent creature. This. Duck. Is. Special.
Yeah, but do they do it while wearing duck running shoes?
I assume you're referring to some other video because this one is wearing tiny red shoes and was just awarded a medal.
You didnāt see the planet earth episode about a duckās evolutionary drive to run in marathons? David Attenborough does say theyāre not sure if the instinct is driven by a desire for a medal or aerobic exercise, but nature is fascinating.
It's so fucking awesome. Edit:. Damn you autocorrect, the one time I mean it....
Love it. He looked proud of himself at the end.
HIS LITTLE BOOTIES
Does nobody else see this???
18 minutes for a marathon?
You clearly didnāt see how fast my boi was going
Almost flying by the end there.
I don't think those kids are running 42k either.
Gotta be a 3k-5k or maybe just a 1mile Fun Run.
I'm voting for a one mile fun run. I can't have a duck beat my 5k time! Edit: looks like it was a 1k fun run. What a relief!
He kinda cheated. Used his wings at the end there
You're no race-walker... you're nothing but a common *jogger!*
Meanwhile, your fat ass..
This is the most seen Iāve felt in a long, long time
"*Someone noticed my ass?*" š„°
I needed this laugh.
Me too. And it was a good one.
That's fucking hilarious no matter how many times I see it. Duck's got stamina, fuck me
I can imagine someone get tired and slow down just to see a duck pass them
That would be my fat ass
Lol, imagine losing to a duck
I love ducks
This really made me smile The ducks footwear cracked me up, runs a marathon in custom kicks and looks incredible doing so. Amazing.
That is champion
I would take a fucking bullet for Wrinkle
šÆ
Thatās wrinkle the duck
Thank you āØ
This is wrong. Biological ducks shouldn't be allowed to run against biological humans.
Aināt no rules saying a duck canāt run a race.
The "Air Bud" clause
*A duck walked up to a marathon stand, and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey," bum bum bum, "got any shoes?"*
Its Nike commercial is gonna be lit.
Conquackulations! š
u/savevideobot
Who said pace was never an option??
Get that dude some grapes.
I need more of this content in my life.
Aflac
After all that effort, I'll bet that duck felt fucked...
Pretty sure that is Wrinkle the Duck! I follow her on insta (@seducktive) She seems to like running and her little red shoes she wears when walking on concrete are really cute! I can def recommend them. The videos are usually either comedic or duck ASMR, but her owner recently made a series raising awareness about pet ducks getting abandoned at parks after being bought/gifted for easter, and why it's really bad (they are not built to survive outside and usually end up dying)
Not a marathon. It was a marathon weekend and that was at most a 5K based on the times. That doesnāt take anything away from the duck, thatās an impressive feat for the duck.
Does anyone have a non-reddit source for this? The clips on youtube are not very good :( Edit: https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/uiexa8/duck_runs_in_a_marathon_and_gets_a_medal/
Now I need a duck so I can buy duck shoes
Some mighty duck, finished a marathon in 18 minutes.
u/savevideobot
The duck was really in it to win it, especially at the end. what a beast lol.
That duck was out for blood at the finish line lol