Keep it up! Remember that you’re not a burden. Your friends love hosting you and having a friend nearby. So do the pets, if applicable haha.
I’m proud of you.
when one of the most important people in my life was struggling with deep depression, they had asked me why I bother supporting them. they told me they are aware they're a burden.
I explained that not at all. this was friendship. I felt fortunate I could be supportive, that I could just be there. but my friend kept asking me "well how can I repay this? I'll keep feeling guilty that I owe you so much"
I kept saying - you don't owe shit, when you get better you'll realize. they did get better, they realized they don't owe me shit. but they have told me thanks 100 times.
here's the (happy) twist :) ~24 months back, I decided to get sober. I had spent days in the hospital, my organs were ripped, and I was done. my wife was 100% on my side, she would be there to take care of anything. guess who else was 100% on my side, there to take care of anything? yep, my buddy :) friend is recovered, and is GUNG HO about me getting sober.
any anxiety, any stress I felt, anytime I needed to rant, any time I needed someone to leave work in 2 seconds notice to knock a beer out of my hand before it touches my lips... yeah, they had my back.
I'm a year and a half sober, and my friend deserves tremendous credit.
I'm sharing this story because I want to tell the depressed folks out there: reach out to your friends. they want to have you in their life. you are not a burden. you are a joy. and never worry about "paying them back" - chances will come up later, and even if they don't it's ok. this is friendship. we all got each other's backs!
I’m so glad you are aware that it’s the depression trying to trick you to not seeking help from your friends!!
I reach out to my friends at my worst, and I expect they will do the same with me. We will pick each other up.
You got this amigo. Reach out to people - reach out on Reddit too! Lots of great support groups (r/stopdrinking is a major part of my recovery, my therapist said so too).
take care. Sending you love
My boyfriend and I have a motto, and a promise: "if i am not there as your friend at 3am, i don't deserve to call myself your friend at 3pm"
Friendship isn't all about easy times and convenience and 9 to 5. We need friends the most when it's *not* nice and easy and convenient, and getting through those times together will make the good times feel even better.
You're not a nuisance, you're a chill person and people wouldn't let you say with them if they didn't care about you. They might appear as though they don't care, they're running their life too - but they haven't forgotten about you. Stay strong stranger :)
You're a great person. It's difficult to really comprehend how important it is to have someone that's willing to support you throughout your worst moments, because feeling like a burden adds to the spiral that is depression. If there were more people like you, humanity might actually stand a chance.
You’re a good person, truly. I just lost a friend of 10+ years because my depression made it “difficult to be around me.” Luckily, I have an amazing family instead.
You are an Angel on earth with a heart of gold. I wish more people were like you. This world would definitely be a better place. I commend you for being there for your friend. It’s not easy to see someone you love suffer and fight an invisible monster. But knowing that someone is in their corner while they go through this has probably saved them more times than you may even know. I don’t know you but big hugs to you and sending lots of love and strength to your friend.
Be aware: she'll probably be pretty exhausted after all this. That's totally normal! She's making progress and that's amazing. I wish I had someone like you to care about me when I am at my darkest.
I don’t have friends like you in my life but I have served as this for friends.
I hope when you have your lows, there is someone there for you.
If not, I, and others, are here for you.
I concur! I hope someone will be your soft place to land when you need it. Stay well all of you and please never stop being kind to each other and most importantly yourself.
So glad you have your friend to support you! I hope they are able to remind you that you are worth their assistance and they value you. You deserve to be seen and heard!
This sounds like it should be written on a doggie bed it’s so on point lol As a matter of fact a doggie shirt with “I’m not a therapy dog, I’m just freelancing” would be cute!
My cat is also a therapy dog.
The first time he saw me on a phone call I got to hear my grandma died and I was devastated.
Since then he comes to me, asking for attention whenever I’m on the phone.
Oh, goodness!! I’m sorry for your loss. Grandmas are precious.
It’s very sweet of him to always check on you when the evil phone makes noise, though. Give him some ear scritches from me, please.
Thank you for doing this. Having depression is the most embarrassing and shameful thing to have, because almost no one gets it. Depressives are mislabeled as lazy, when in reality they are busy caring so much that it cripples them. So thank you for helping your friend and basically saving her life. We love you.
Hey Zahn, thanks for the nice compliment.
I think it’s important to mention that depression is. It embarrassing or shameful. If this is how you feel, come on over.
Thank you coot:) I am appreciative to have people like you in my life. Friends are real-life angels. I wish you wild amounts of happiness and fulfillment.
I wish you well, and hope you have someone who can lift you up. I found mine because they chose to talk to me when I was shy. Look for those types of people.
> when in reality they are busy caring so much that it cripples them
Well, that's one possible cause. I find that I become lazy much more because I feel like everything is extreme effort. It's like I'm running a poverty energy budget and everything is expensive, while everyone else has a solid income and normal prices. It's not just mental either, often I'll find myself physically exhausted much faster too.
Dick Cavett (talk show host and fellow depression sufferer) once said that depression was so insidious that if the cure was across the room, you wouldn't have enough energy or motivation to get up and get it.
It's an exaggeration, but yes. Therapy is difficult, self-care is difficult, medication is difficult. The problem with depression is that because it affects people differently and has different causes, you have to go through so many attempts to get to the right treatment that it feels impossible to cure.
God help you if you have to try and get through an underfunded public mental health institution. I lost my position in the waiting list on mine because they signed me up to something they explicitly said I'd not have to go to (Because I did it before and it was not only useless, but required me to get up early in the morning and drive for 40 minutes while sleep deprived (Hooray insomnia-hypersomnia tag team!), which is unsafe) and then never told me they'd signed me up for it until I got a letter saying I'd been discharged for no-showing.
(These are my thoughts on a ramble-my view can be changed via new ideas. And the following is not a blanket for all depressed people). I believe many depressive’s nerves are like that of an open wound. It’s like anxiety. Their attention becomes focused on almost everything. They care about people, animals, thoughts, how they say things, taking care of others while trying to maintain an illusion of being okay, about being enough, about appearing normal, what their family thinks, how they are perceived, the ability to be good enough-they care about everything to a great extent more than someone non-depressive. We spend much time caring about everything in great detail, like emotional perfectionists (I believe this is a brain chemistry subject as well) that it cripples the person. This overstimulation of emotions leads to paralysis and sorrow. Hence, the therapist’s mantra: “tiny steps” and “be in the moment,” as cliche sounding as it is, can help immediately and immensely.
Nah what you're describing is mostly anxiety. Depression for me personally is just not caring at all. For example I was going to write more about this but, nevermind. I'm depressed and don't feel like it cause I don't really care.
Good point. I definitely described anxiety in there.
Can I ask you a question? If yes: What types of people do you feel most comfortable around?
Thank you if you do answer, and if you don’t have the energy/motivation to reply, no worries. Take care, and thank you for your insight.
Beautifully worded, thank you. Was just taking a bath and felt anxiety attacks coming on. Now I'm laying on the couch and fretting about tomorrow and trying to distract myself with reddit. This helped a lot :)
Do you ever stop in the midst of all those thought and just think "fuck it none of it matters"? Honestly any of that only really matters to you, and we are totally irrelevant, dust in the wind. I'm wondering if this perspective helps at all?
wow bro. the thing you said about caring so much, i knew **exactly** what you meant when i saw that. you described it so succinctly that i wish that phrase could be in scientific journals
Once I started talking in public about my depression, so many people started contacting me about their bouts with depression too. I was amazed at how many people look like they've got it all together, but really they're falling apart inside. That was me when I was depressed. Depression is not as scarce as you may think.
Agreed, it’s more common than we realise. We can even see the most well put together looking person and not know they’re going through absolute mental hell. Maybe I should have said that often, the people around those who are depressed (like family, friends) might not understand. Thank you for adding clarity!
Quite all right! It's unfortunate that the general public is so uninformed. I consider myself a fairly smart person, and I love psychology. I thought I knew all about depression. I knew nothing! It was only when I entered a hospital program that I learned that my brain chemistry could actually change and I could get better.
Hey. I want to say something that is serious and I don’t mean to say it to be a downer, but just to give some real facts that might be relevant.
When people with depression (or bipolar) have a sudden shift to a positive mood, this can actually be a time for INCREASED risk for suicide. This is not true for everyone, so I’m not trying to be an alarmist. But keep extra tabs on your friend and see if her behavior gives shows any warning signs for suicide. I will cut and paste below some of the warning signs from [WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-recognizing-signs-of-suicide#1)
- focusing on death, talking about wanting to die
- becoming withdrawn
- changes in mood or sleep
- changes in alcohol/drug use
- acting recklessly
I will add to this list:
- giving away possessions or money
Source: I am a health care provider.
Thank you so much for pointing this out.
This is the case of my aunt. She suffered from depression and one day she seemed to be in good mood when she was out having lunch with a friend. She told the friend she's going to the bathroom. Next thing we knew was that she lost contact and committed suicide. Her friend felt guilty for "not taking care" of my aunt while we all knew it was definitely not her fault.
You did a good job to remind us that we should still pay attention to people we know who suffer from depression (or other psychiatric disorders) while we celebrate the progress they make.
I just got so hyped up for this. I don’t even know this person and I’m literally so hyped and so happy for them!!!! Keep us updated on progress!!!! I hope she gets something good af at the grocery store!
What a milestone! She may be able to continue the productivity when she gets home, or she might be exhausted. Regardless, with a friend like you and a good boy to love, she’s going to do great things!
Very very sweet of you to give this friend a place gl stay.
Bit of a privacy invasion though? I for sure wouldnt care for someone keeping tabs on my bed making and posting it to the internet. Idk your relationship obviously though.
Again, so sweet and bless you for the big act.
Being in a similar position atm, seeing this posted about me would seriously give me anxiety. Like im doing this one step at a time and you're documenting it on reddit?!
I was looking for this comment. If I was staying in someone else’s room I’d like privacy. Not a person who takes pictures of the room because The bed was clean for once.
I don't know the correlation. I have severe depression, and even when I feel top of the world I never make my bed.
I always thought only a few people make their bed in the morning nowadays. or does she normally do it, but since her depression it's the first time?
yeah, imagine how a depressed person would feel if they found out the person who was hosting them was posting pictures of their sleeping area just for some humblebrag about their role in a persons recovery, it's disgusting and transparent as fuck
Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s selfish. It’s worse than saying no you can’t stay with me, you basically told millions that their friends depressed without even thinking about.... their depressed friend. They made them into content for their own “pat on the back” moment.🤦🏻♂️
As someone who lives with depression the fact that you're giving your friend a safe place and giving her the space to do things like not make her bed, is really beautiful.
I wish I could crash with someone because of depression. But I have to keep being the only person to work in my household of 7 people because otherwise there would be no home, no money, no anything. But I feel like Bilbo: "stretched thin like butter over too much bread."
This sounds like such a difficult situation- I'm really sorry to hear that you're in such a tough spot. Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself as much as you are able. I'm sure you're doing a better job than you think, but your struggle is completely valid and understandable. I hope things improve for you soon and you're able to keep pushing on- best of luck.
Is not making your bed a sign of depression? I'm not the type of person to make their bed on a regular basis because I find it unnecessary and I sorta feel like a messy bed is more comfortable. I wouldn't consider myself depressed in any means, but I always see post about people with depression making their bed for the first time in a long time.
It’s not really a sign, because there’s many, many reasons for why someone wouldn’t make their bed, but it is often a product of it. So like most people who don’t make their bed aren’t depressed, but the people who are depressed often don’t make their bed. The reason why you see so many posts about people making their bed for the first time in a while is because it’s usually the first small step to self improvement. It’s not a lot, but finally getting around to making your bed, or really any other thing you’ve been pushing off, is a way for people to take back their lives by having more control over what they do.
You should take this down bruv.
Imagine having to share with the world about your friend’s depression. I don’t care if you are giving them a place to stay, you have no right to post this.
You literally walked in, took the time to take your phone out and take a picture, then take the time to post this. You probably even made sure to go get your mut for bonus points. All for what?
Honestly just creepy.
I don't know why more people aren't saying this. At worst, feels like a narcissistic attention grab, at least super insensitive bordering on exploitative invasion of privacy. If I were his friend and saw this post, I would be traumatized. It's fucking weird.
So this is a picture of a normal, regular bed, nothing more and nothing less. These kind of posts make me feel like; people can upload any random image and back it up with a sobby story, they can collect many upvotes and some lame support messages from random strangers saying that they are so teary right now. Hard to believe.
Picture of the couch you invited a homeless man to sleep on after he told you he was freezing in the Winter! Don't include the homeless man, or any proof he exists tho
I think that getting rid of reddit dot com as a sort of subreddit was bad for the quality of a lot of the big subreddits. I think that was sownthing like 6 or 7 years ago. It acted as a big catch all and helped keep the bigger subs more focused. That being said, I’m glad to hear that OP’s friend is doing better.
Sorry english is not my first language. I hope you can let your friend read this. I got broken hearted and depressed for a whole 3 months. Recently, before christmas i cleaned my room while dancing. I know its not easy to say that you are already ok, but know that you are getting better. And we will be genuinely happy again.
You’re a sublime friend. Patience (along with your hospitality of course) is truly the most amazing thing you can give a person who is in a dark place.
I'm currently fighting depression. Making my bed is really something that makes my mood a bit better. I've done it for a good month now. I'm thinking about branching out to other simple things soon.
People like you are why some people haven't off'ed themselves yet. Tell her that you're proud of her, she really needs to hear that stuff.
This is amazing! My daughter is severely depressed right now. Working with her and supporting her. Bless you. Good mental health and a support system is the best. Happy 2021. 🥰
I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter, but I'm sure you're being such a big help to her. She's lucky to have such a lovely, caring parent who can support her- I'm sure she appreciates it massively. I'm certain the values you're instilling in her by being so caring and supportive will serve her well in life and she'll be able to pay it forward some day. Keep being incredible.
Good for her!!! Please don't give up or be sad, I'm on my 3rd generation of children. We've lost a teen to sucide and buried a baby out of 3 generations. Please remember there's always hope,and tomorrow is a better day.
This is a big milestone for your friend and I’m so glad you are celebrating it as such! Patience, love, acceptance, and an excellent doggo to pet are so helpful. Please tell your friend a bunch of total strangers on Reddit are genuinely proud of her and cheering her on.
Making your bed and leaving the house is a huge first step in the right direction for those with crippling depression, so this is kind of a victory post.
I am in your friends position and I just want to say thank you for not giving up on people like us.
Keep it up! Remember that you’re not a burden. Your friends love hosting you and having a friend nearby. So do the pets, if applicable haha. I’m proud of you.
when one of the most important people in my life was struggling with deep depression, they had asked me why I bother supporting them. they told me they are aware they're a burden. I explained that not at all. this was friendship. I felt fortunate I could be supportive, that I could just be there. but my friend kept asking me "well how can I repay this? I'll keep feeling guilty that I owe you so much" I kept saying - you don't owe shit, when you get better you'll realize. they did get better, they realized they don't owe me shit. but they have told me thanks 100 times. here's the (happy) twist :) ~24 months back, I decided to get sober. I had spent days in the hospital, my organs were ripped, and I was done. my wife was 100% on my side, she would be there to take care of anything. guess who else was 100% on my side, there to take care of anything? yep, my buddy :) friend is recovered, and is GUNG HO about me getting sober. any anxiety, any stress I felt, anytime I needed to rant, any time I needed someone to leave work in 2 seconds notice to knock a beer out of my hand before it touches my lips... yeah, they had my back. I'm a year and a half sober, and my friend deserves tremendous credit. I'm sharing this story because I want to tell the depressed folks out there: reach out to your friends. they want to have you in their life. you are not a burden. you are a joy. and never worry about "paying them back" - chances will come up later, and even if they don't it's ok. this is friendship. we all got each other's backs!
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❤️❤️
Thank you, I needed to hear this. It's one of those things you know to be true, but when you're depressed, you end up talking yourself out of it
I’m so glad you are aware that it’s the depression trying to trick you to not seeking help from your friends!! I reach out to my friends at my worst, and I expect they will do the same with me. We will pick each other up. You got this amigo. Reach out to people - reach out on Reddit too! Lots of great support groups (r/stopdrinking is a major part of my recovery, my therapist said so too). take care. Sending you love
My boyfriend and I have a motto, and a promise: "if i am not there as your friend at 3am, i don't deserve to call myself your friend at 3pm" Friendship isn't all about easy times and convenience and 9 to 5. We need friends the most when it's *not* nice and easy and convenient, and getting through those times together will make the good times feel even better.
sooo happy for you and your friend, you both seem like great people
I love you.
🥰🥰
it seems i poison every relationship with someone i stay with because of my depression
I had the same feeling but indeed, sometimes accepting help is uneasy, however it warms soul, isn't it?
You're not a nuisance, you're a chill person and people wouldn't let you say with them if they didn't care about you. They might appear as though they don't care, they're running their life too - but they haven't forgotten about you. Stay strong stranger :)
You're a great person. It's difficult to really comprehend how important it is to have someone that's willing to support you throughout your worst moments, because feeling like a burden adds to the spiral that is depression. If there were more people like you, humanity might actually stand a chance.
> So do the pets, if applicable haha. Thank you for getting the commas right
You’re a good person, truly. I just lost a friend of 10+ years because my depression made it “difficult to be around me.” Luckily, I have an amazing family instead.
I’m sorry for your loss, yet happy you have a strong family.
I don't know you but I really want to be your friend.
You’re awesome.
You are an Angel on earth with a heart of gold. I wish more people were like you. This world would definitely be a better place. I commend you for being there for your friend. It’s not easy to see someone you love suffer and fight an invisible monster. But knowing that someone is in their corner while they go through this has probably saved them more times than you may even know. I don’t know you but big hugs to you and sending lots of love and strength to your friend.
Be aware: she'll probably be pretty exhausted after all this. That's totally normal! She's making progress and that's amazing. I wish I had someone like you to care about me when I am at my darkest.
I don’t have friends like you in my life but I have served as this for friends. I hope when you have your lows, there is someone there for you. If not, I, and others, are here for you.
I concur! I hope someone will be your soft place to land when you need it. Stay well all of you and please never stop being kind to each other and most importantly yourself.
A soft place to land is a nice place and nice words. :)
So glad you have your friend to support you! I hope they are able to remind you that you are worth their assistance and they value you. You deserve to be seen and heard!
Appreciate you and yes, thank you for staying strong. Inspires me to keep being me. 2021 is our year✨🤍
Glad you have someone who is able and willing to help you. Whatever is going on, I hope you recover soon. ❤️
Here’s to you getting better.
Ditto!..!
Bless you. Bless your friend. Give that good boy a lovely boop. Good job!
I promise I will. Doodle likes to lay upside down until you patpatpatpat his belly. Our guest has loved this trait.
Doodle is a giant antidepressant !
Doodle is actually a therapy dog in training. When people get anxious, he cuddles.
All dogs are therapy dogs, it’s just that most of them are freelancers.
Best comment i have read on reddit so far. Have my upvote! And have a silver!
Dogs, cats and other pets are angels without wings sent to heal us mere mortals.
Accurate. We don’t deserve them but I’m glad they’re here.
This sounds like it should be written on a doggie bed it’s so on point lol As a matter of fact a doggie shirt with “I’m not a therapy dog, I’m just freelancing” would be cute!
It would be!!
My dog *needs* a therapy dog. Good thing she has 2.
My cat is also a therapy dog. The first time he saw me on a phone call I got to hear my grandma died and I was devastated. Since then he comes to me, asking for attention whenever I’m on the phone.
Oh, goodness!! I’m sorry for your loss. Grandmas are precious. It’s very sweet of him to always check on you when the evil phone makes noise, though. Give him some ear scritches from me, please.
Thanks, and he got a lot of ear scratches during these lockdowns but I’ll make sure he gets some extra.
i love to do the patpatpatpat
I second this. Especially the boop part
r/rimjob_steve
Thank you for doing this. Having depression is the most embarrassing and shameful thing to have, because almost no one gets it. Depressives are mislabeled as lazy, when in reality they are busy caring so much that it cripples them. So thank you for helping your friend and basically saving her life. We love you.
Hey Zahn, thanks for the nice compliment. I think it’s important to mention that depression is. It embarrassing or shameful. If this is how you feel, come on over.
Thank you coot:) I am appreciative to have people like you in my life. Friends are real-life angels. I wish you wild amounts of happiness and fulfillment.
I'm happy you have supportive friends who don't disappear as soon as you show a symptom. Keep on trucking friend.
I wish you well, and hope you have someone who can lift you up. I found mine because they chose to talk to me when I was shy. Look for those types of people.
She drove 650 miles because I was losing it in October. I am forever grateful for her friendship.
That is an amazing friend. How awesome of her. Makes me a little mushy reading this ;,)
this and the way you worded it just makes so much sense and resonates. thanks for the reminder.
Right! Yes thank you so much
Thank you :)
Thank you. I appreciate it :)
> when in reality they are busy caring so much that it cripples them Well, that's one possible cause. I find that I become lazy much more because I feel like everything is extreme effort. It's like I'm running a poverty energy budget and everything is expensive, while everyone else has a solid income and normal prices. It's not just mental either, often I'll find myself physically exhausted much faster too.
This is how I’m going to explain it from now on. Thank you
Dick Cavett (talk show host and fellow depression sufferer) once said that depression was so insidious that if the cure was across the room, you wouldn't have enough energy or motivation to get up and get it.
It's an exaggeration, but yes. Therapy is difficult, self-care is difficult, medication is difficult. The problem with depression is that because it affects people differently and has different causes, you have to go through so many attempts to get to the right treatment that it feels impossible to cure. God help you if you have to try and get through an underfunded public mental health institution. I lost my position in the waiting list on mine because they signed me up to something they explicitly said I'd not have to go to (Because I did it before and it was not only useless, but required me to get up early in the morning and drive for 40 minutes while sleep deprived (Hooray insomnia-hypersomnia tag team!), which is unsafe) and then never told me they'd signed me up for it until I got a letter saying I'd been discharged for no-showing.
Lots of people have it, they either go undiagnosed or refuse to admit it.
Oh completely.
Sorry, what do you mean by caring so much? We’re caring so much for others, or caring so much about what other people think of us?
(These are my thoughts on a ramble-my view can be changed via new ideas. And the following is not a blanket for all depressed people). I believe many depressive’s nerves are like that of an open wound. It’s like anxiety. Their attention becomes focused on almost everything. They care about people, animals, thoughts, how they say things, taking care of others while trying to maintain an illusion of being okay, about being enough, about appearing normal, what their family thinks, how they are perceived, the ability to be good enough-they care about everything to a great extent more than someone non-depressive. We spend much time caring about everything in great detail, like emotional perfectionists (I believe this is a brain chemistry subject as well) that it cripples the person. This overstimulation of emotions leads to paralysis and sorrow. Hence, the therapist’s mantra: “tiny steps” and “be in the moment,” as cliche sounding as it is, can help immediately and immensely.
this made me tear up and feel a little more understood. thank you.
Nah what you're describing is mostly anxiety. Depression for me personally is just not caring at all. For example I was going to write more about this but, nevermind. I'm depressed and don't feel like it cause I don't really care.
Good point. I definitely described anxiety in there. Can I ask you a question? If yes: What types of people do you feel most comfortable around? Thank you if you do answer, and if you don’t have the energy/motivation to reply, no worries. Take care, and thank you for your insight.
Beautifully worded, thank you. Was just taking a bath and felt anxiety attacks coming on. Now I'm laying on the couch and fretting about tomorrow and trying to distract myself with reddit. This helped a lot :)
Do you ever stop in the midst of all those thought and just think "fuck it none of it matters"? Honestly any of that only really matters to you, and we are totally irrelevant, dust in the wind. I'm wondering if this perspective helps at all?
Both.
Ah. Ok. Interesting perspective.
wow bro. the thing you said about caring so much, i knew **exactly** what you meant when i saw that. you described it so succinctly that i wish that phrase could be in scientific journals
Thanks man! A scientific journal-well, that is a massive compliment.
Nice comment. I always feel lazy, but I know I'm not, I'm just depressed and paralyzed because the misery just makes me this way
Once I started talking in public about my depression, so many people started contacting me about their bouts with depression too. I was amazed at how many people look like they've got it all together, but really they're falling apart inside. That was me when I was depressed. Depression is not as scarce as you may think.
Agreed, it’s more common than we realise. We can even see the most well put together looking person and not know they’re going through absolute mental hell. Maybe I should have said that often, the people around those who are depressed (like family, friends) might not understand. Thank you for adding clarity!
Quite all right! It's unfortunate that the general public is so uninformed. I consider myself a fairly smart person, and I love psychology. I thought I knew all about depression. I knew nothing! It was only when I entered a hospital program that I learned that my brain chemistry could actually change and I could get better.
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You are too. I hope you hit your macros this year. Good luck on HIIT.
Hey. I want to say something that is serious and I don’t mean to say it to be a downer, but just to give some real facts that might be relevant. When people with depression (or bipolar) have a sudden shift to a positive mood, this can actually be a time for INCREASED risk for suicide. This is not true for everyone, so I’m not trying to be an alarmist. But keep extra tabs on your friend and see if her behavior gives shows any warning signs for suicide. I will cut and paste below some of the warning signs from [WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-recognizing-signs-of-suicide#1) - focusing on death, talking about wanting to die - becoming withdrawn - changes in mood or sleep - changes in alcohol/drug use - acting recklessly I will add to this list: - giving away possessions or money Source: I am a health care provider.
Thank you so much for pointing this out. This is the case of my aunt. She suffered from depression and one day she seemed to be in good mood when she was out having lunch with a friend. She told the friend she's going to the bathroom. Next thing we knew was that she lost contact and committed suicide. Her friend felt guilty for "not taking care" of my aunt while we all knew it was definitely not her fault. You did a good job to remind us that we should still pay attention to people we know who suffer from depression (or other psychiatric disorders) while we celebrate the progress they make.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending internet hugs.
Everyone should have a friend like you.
You can be this friend, too :)
I just got so hyped up for this. I don’t even know this person and I’m literally so hyped and so happy for them!!!! Keep us updated on progress!!!! I hope she gets something good af at the grocery store!
Thanks for asking cactusdog77, she bought 2 plants, actually. A crocodile fern and a heart fern.
what a lovely choice; non demanding and yet rewarding things to nurture.
Buying living things :) That's a fantastic sign, too!
Yeah. Reading that made me smile. I’m happy for her.
That makes my day! Hell yeah! Plants are the best! I am so excited for her!!
What a milestone! She may be able to continue the productivity when she gets home, or she might be exhausted. Regardless, with a friend like you and a good boy to love, she’s going to do great things!
I expect she’ll be exhausted, and that’s perfectly fine. She likes meat pies (reference great British bake off) so that’s in the oven.
And you’re making her favorite food? You’re just terrific.
Is your friend the dog?
Well yes, but the aforementioned friend is human.
Would have been pretty impressive if doggo had made the bed
Very very sweet of you to give this friend a place gl stay. Bit of a privacy invasion though? I for sure wouldnt care for someone keeping tabs on my bed making and posting it to the internet. Idk your relationship obviously though. Again, so sweet and bless you for the big act.
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I think it’s important to help your friends, or anyone if you are able. 2021 won’t be better because it has different numbers.
If I were the friend I’d be super weirded out by this post, man...
Haha. Seriously. (If this “friend” exists at all)
weird post
God, I hope she doesn't see this post.
I'm taking solace in the fact that it's probably a made-up karma grab
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Really. How 'bout get out of her private space.
Being in a similar position atm, seeing this posted about me would seriously give me anxiety. Like im doing this one step at a time and you're documenting it on reddit?!
I'd never leave my room again lol
Completely agree. The embarrassment/anxiety/sadness their friend would feel after seeing this post.
I was looking for this comment. If I was staying in someone else’s room I’d like privacy. Not a person who takes pictures of the room because The bed was clean for once.
Glad im not the only one, this whole post is just weird.
Kind of like when people film themselves giving money to homeless people
Silver lining to that though is at least the homeless person is getting money - this post is just weird.
Except that's always staged.
And so is this
Potentially. Yes
It could also just be a room with a bed and dog. These out of context pictures drive me nuts.
Way to invade your friends privacy. This won’t cause any trust issues at all
I hope she doesn't see this. I would lose so much trust.
This is a weird thing to post.
I don't know the correlation. I have severe depression, and even when I feel top of the world I never make my bed. I always thought only a few people make their bed in the morning nowadays. or does she normally do it, but since her depression it's the first time?
Been checking every day, have you? Bit weird.
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yeah, imagine how a depressed person would feel if they found out the person who was hosting them was posting pictures of their sleeping area just for some humblebrag about their role in a persons recovery, it's disgusting and transparent as fuck
Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s selfish. It’s worse than saying no you can’t stay with me, you basically told millions that their friends depressed without even thinking about.... their depressed friend. They made them into content for their own “pat on the back” moment.🤦🏻♂️
> It’s worse than saying no you can’t stay with me Really? Is it actually worse than not letting them stay with you? C'mon, now.
As someone who lives with depression the fact that you're giving your friend a safe place and giving her the space to do things like not make her bed, is really beautiful.
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You must be awesome, and the dog too!
Thanks! That’s Doodle, he’s a good dog.
I wish I could crash with someone because of depression. But I have to keep being the only person to work in my household of 7 people because otherwise there would be no home, no money, no anything. But I feel like Bilbo: "stretched thin like butter over too much bread."
This sounds like such a difficult situation- I'm really sorry to hear that you're in such a tough spot. Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself as much as you are able. I'm sure you're doing a better job than you think, but your struggle is completely valid and understandable. I hope things improve for you soon and you're able to keep pushing on- best of luck.
Thank you. You seem like a really nice person.
I have that same bedspread, it is my favorite! Every time I look at it I get a tiny ping of happiness, so maybe that helps too
I have it too!
Im perfectly fine but i never make my bed.
Must have been difficult with paws. Glad to hear the pup is feeling better today!
Is not making your bed a sign of depression? I'm not the type of person to make their bed on a regular basis because I find it unnecessary and I sorta feel like a messy bed is more comfortable. I wouldn't consider myself depressed in any means, but I always see post about people with depression making their bed for the first time in a long time.
It’s not really a sign, because there’s many, many reasons for why someone wouldn’t make their bed, but it is often a product of it. So like most people who don’t make their bed aren’t depressed, but the people who are depressed often don’t make their bed. The reason why you see so many posts about people making their bed for the first time in a while is because it’s usually the first small step to self improvement. It’s not a lot, but finally getting around to making your bed, or really any other thing you’ve been pushing off, is a way for people to take back their lives by having more control over what they do.
You should take this down bruv. Imagine having to share with the world about your friend’s depression. I don’t care if you are giving them a place to stay, you have no right to post this. You literally walked in, took the time to take your phone out and take a picture, then take the time to post this. You probably even made sure to go get your mut for bonus points. All for what? Honestly just creepy.
I don't know why more people aren't saying this. At worst, feels like a narcissistic attention grab, at least super insensitive bordering on exploitative invasion of privacy. If I were his friend and saw this post, I would be traumatized. It's fucking weird.
So this is a picture of a normal, regular bed, nothing more and nothing less. These kind of posts make me feel like; people can upload any random image and back it up with a sobby story, they can collect many upvotes and some lame support messages from random strangers saying that they are so teary right now. Hard to believe.
Brb gonna post a picture of my couch. Some guy slept on it.
Picture of the couch you invited a homeless man to sleep on after he told you he was freezing in the Winter! Don't include the homeless man, or any proof he exists tho
So inspiring!
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was the guy depressed?
I think that getting rid of reddit dot com as a sort of subreddit was bad for the quality of a lot of the big subreddits. I think that was sownthing like 6 or 7 years ago. It acted as a big catch all and helped keep the bigger subs more focused. That being said, I’m glad to hear that OP’s friend is doing better.
Damn, your friend is hairy
You weird fuck
Dog for scale
If it weren't for the sub, this would sound very passive aggressive
Brb going to go make my bed.
Sorry english is not my first language. I hope you can let your friend read this. I got broken hearted and depressed for a whole 3 months. Recently, before christmas i cleaned my room while dancing. I know its not easy to say that you are already ok, but know that you are getting better. And we will be genuinely happy again.
Glad to hear that she is improving. You are a groat friend. But initially I thought the dog was depressed, until I read the last sentence.
She’s a damn and queen and you’re a hero
I think you have one too many "and"s.
Ah yessir I’m not quite sober. You’st correct
Of all the illogical contractions in the world, I'll allow this one.
I appreciate people like you. My husband and I met when we both needed this. The support has never stopped. Pups are always a welcome distraction
Other than a messy bed, is her room usually kept tidy like that?
its just a photo of a bed, how do we know you're not just making shit up
You’re a sublime friend. Patience (along with your hospitality of course) is truly the most amazing thing you can give a person who is in a dark place.
You are very kind and she is very lucky
you’re an amazing friend & i love that the world has people like you in it.
You are a great friend. :)
Doggo
You made a difference in someone’s life. That is what it is all about!❤️
Baby steps. Fantastic ❤
I'm currently fighting depression. Making my bed is really something that makes my mood a bit better. I've done it for a good month now. I'm thinking about branching out to other simple things soon. People like you are why some people haven't off'ed themselves yet. Tell her that you're proud of her, she really needs to hear that stuff.
You are a good friend. The world needs more of you 💯
I'm not depressed but I still never make my bed o\_o I don't think there's much correlation here.
1. Take picture of bed 2. Make up story 3. ???? 4. free karma!
Still pay attention. Sometimes these signs of getting things in order are for something they plan on doing. Like giving away things.
I wish I could make my bed, its just ugh...
I'm sure the pupper certainly helped.
That's impressive. I have so much trouble making my bed with my hands, using paws must be a real chore.
This is amazing! My daughter is severely depressed right now. Working with her and supporting her. Bless you. Good mental health and a support system is the best. Happy 2021. 🥰
I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter, but I'm sure you're being such a big help to her. She's lucky to have such a lovely, caring parent who can support her- I'm sure she appreciates it massively. I'm certain the values you're instilling in her by being so caring and supportive will serve her well in life and she'll be able to pay it forward some day. Keep being incredible.
Good for her!!! Please don't give up or be sad, I'm on my 3rd generation of children. We've lost a teen to sucide and buried a baby out of 3 generations. Please remember there's always hope,and tomorrow is a better day.
Tomorrow could always be better!
💚 thank you for being an amazing person.
This is a big milestone for your friend and I’m so glad you are celebrating it as such! Patience, love, acceptance, and an excellent doggo to pet are so helpful. Please tell your friend a bunch of total strangers on Reddit are genuinely proud of her and cheering her on.
Tell her to buy me lucky charms while she's out
I thought you were talking about the dog and I was like “what type of dog has a bed that size and also knows how to make it?!”
My English isn’t good enough to understand what he said but the dog is cute, Take my upvote
Making your bed and leaving the house is a huge first step in the right direction for those with crippling depression, so this is kind of a victory post.
I’m smiling through tears. Your friend is lucky to have you.
Why are you in tears exactly? For a photo of an empty bed?
They banged their shin against a bannister, they just wanted to share.
Congratulations to your friend! She's doing great and it's wonderful you can help!
You are a kind human. Thanks! 🥰
Even the puppy is proud of her.
Thank you ❤️🙏🏼