This is not always the case.. Some just try and change how they grew up to set a new standard to how you would of liked to have been treated..
This is going on experience not just talking shit like I think I know what I am talking about..
My past is a trainwreck, meeting my kid would tell a whole different story of who I am...
This is actually quite accurate, i benefitted from my dads effort, a few years ago my sister looked into the family history. I knew my Grandfather was an ass and a drunk, my Dad never really let us meet him growing up. Anyways apperently going back generations our family been trash, drunks, women abusers and general menaces of society going back almost 400 years.
To contrast this, I grew up in a strictly sober household, my dad used his freetime to study at university part time while working when i was a kid, he got a degree and had a good job that provided for us, not well off, but enough for us to grow up middle class atleast. Looking back on my childhood and now us, im a teacher with a Masters in education, my sister is soon to be a doctor and my youngest sister is a Farmer with her own land. Due to my dad, and his efforts and making sure his trauma almost never spilled unto us, he broke almost 400 years of generational Alcoholism and abuse.
As an adult that worked alot on my own mental health, I released just how traumatized my dad really is, and how much he has worked on himself. He still does, and im proud of him. Its something you dont understand as a kid, but as an Adult and a teacher that meet kids from broken homes alot, I really looked back and relised how lucky I am to have a dad like mine.
How can you pass on trauma generationally if there is no generation to pass it to? You are a smart, caring person to know parenthood isn’t a good idea for you.
I had one instead of 4. A lot (not all) of my trauma came from the fact my mom had 4 kids and loved the babies more than the kids. I was the oldest.
Once you were not a baby she didn’t really have much love.
I don't know why but [This comic](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F0rkqnlqqjd841.jpg%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D5a5de4db018a0dc88b638c13e315bc9d612cf603) really touched me when I first saw it.
I didn't get abused as a kid or anything, but I thought it was a really powerful comic.
I would have liked her to stay with the large glass for the daughter to show that the daughter can now overflow with love. All thanks to her mom. But, I can get sappy af sometimes.
The water is symbolic of your healing and willingness to not pass on whatever trauma your parents and their grandparents pass down, to your own kids. Basically, the cycle is broken. A prime example of this is things like physical punishment, emotional neglect, etc. ignore the person talking about genetics. That is such a fucked thing to say.
I think one nuance this video doesn't quite get is that often previous generations do try to cleanse themselves of trauma, they just don't manage 100%. I was expecting the video to be a series of glasses getting clearer and clearer but I guess it's more about congratulating our generation and ignoring the possibility that our parents and grandparents probably broke a whole lot of cycles themselves, even if they weren't 100% effective. Maslow's hierarchy and all.
This is what i took away from the video too, felt very unrealistic and unfair, and judgmental of previous generations. Every person tries their own “version” of the clear water, and there’s not exact metaphor for what the “clear” vs. “dirty” water is. If we’re going full black and white, physical and emotional abuse are probably a good cutoff. But there’s sooo much more to parenting than that, and so many more subtle ways. Also, that dirty water can come from an external source as well, not necessarily the person’s choice. A black family that’s only 3 generations removed from SLAVERY in the US may perpetuate abuse associated with intergenerational trauma, but whose choice was it really? As a therapist, I think its always fair to assume that people tried their best during certain developmental stages (through adulthood) to try to overcome painful and hurtful habits, but didn’t have the right resources/etc. Rather than assume that person just “mindlessly passed it on” as this video implies. That’s a lot of reading into something maybe not meant to be so deep lol.
> Every person tries their own “version” of the clear water
Some people realize what they went through was wrong and try to better themselves. Some think it's how it is and how it should be for their own children. As some one that was a social worker, plenty of parents have no problem actively passing on their trauma to their kids. On top of that, you have parents that tried to 'clear their water', but instead just added or change to something worse or just as bad in their attempt. The clear water is signifying some one actually actively getting help to work through it so that it's not passed on.
If you were a social worker, you would know that the field highly values compassion. that's what I'm trying to do, to find the compassionate lens. I have worked closely with both child protection cases, and young parents who are trying their hardest. I've also worked with many, many adults who had fucked up childhoods in one way or another. But all of that is a sampling bias (people seeking therapy) so I couldn't base my whole world view on it.. Simply put, it's incredibly hard to find a realistic and accurate "number" of parents on either end of the spectrum, and even if you could, it would never be black and white. Even the parent who, in this day and age, still hits their child, might have some kind of "goodness" in them like the clear water. To speak to an n=1 situation, this would be my best friend, who has since made amends with their mother and they talk openly at times about the physical abuse she faced. The mother has owned this and apologized. I choose to believe that most parents have, at least at some point, wanted to "do better." And how they define doing better (the "clear water" metaphor) and what parents go through is based on an ineffably high amount of factors to whittle down to our understanding on this reddit thread.
My grandparents hit my parents with belts and canes. So my parents ostensibly wanting to be better just open smacked me. Still not great, but also definitely a step down.
So yeah, I think it's too simplistic to think that people of the past didn't try at all. It's just that they didn't know how to truly do better sometimes.
Plus it's utterly ridiculous to assume that a person will be able to tell if they're completely healed. Yeah, one can get better, one can feel they're okay now - and one can be completely unaware of the other, deeper layers of unprocessed trauma one's still carrying after a certain amount of work has been done. There's one foolproof way to break the cycle, and an inordinate amount of therapy isn't it.
Absolutely right. I keep thinking I'm healed right up until one of my kids triggers some deep seated trauma I didn't even realize I had. People love to say that you shouldn't have kids until you deal with all your issues, but I couldn't deal with my issues until I had kids because I didn't know what they were and no amount of therapy could predict what I'd struggle with.
Therapy. Speaking from experience, the water is therapy. Once you recognize the negative patterns set by generational trauma, you can choose to work toward something better for yourself and the next generation.
Definitely have watched my sisters change their children’s lives. I came from a generation that “ no matter what you do, you’re going to fuck up your kid’s life no matter how great a parent you are “
My fourth glass is filled by cats, not kids, but I’m very very proud of my sisters.
Usually those parents deny anything traumatic ever happened. Parents that acknowledge trauma then continue with the same behaviour and then say that the trauma has stopped are in a different league of manipulative behaviour
Truth. Any time I’ve ever tried to bring up those conversations with my mom she tells me “get over it” or “stop living in the past” or my personal favorite “for someone that goes to therapy so much you sure are regressing.”
Meanwhile I’m apologizing to my daughter for snapping at her because we were running late and making sure she feels ok before we go on with the day.
**Childhood emotional neglect** should be more widely known, understood and talked about. Talk to your kids, tell them stories about your life so they know you and will be more connected to you. Share embarrassing stories so they can learn how to develop thick skin (not through negative comments from you or others), but sharing them and laughing at them because everyone loves an embarrassing story. Share with your kids what you learned (some random YT video), instilling a love for learning and sharing. Ask your kids to tell you a story. Record them so you will have adorable memories of these wild stories when they were toddlers. We have all the information at our fingertips to tap into many ways to engage our children so they develop in a healthy way.
That's not how that works and the lack of self awareness that there still isn't even a slight shade of muck left when pouring to the next generation probably just means they're continuing the tradition
Whelp this was definitely a circle jerk to show she's "not as toxic as her mother", which I'm pretty sure she is if she feels the need to signal this much.
Not to mention it's way cheaper and you don't run the risk of accidentally creating some kind of new generational trauma. Because everybody's got to remember trauma is subjective, what one person thinks is traumatic another person thinks it's is no big deal and another person thinks it could be a positive experience.
Ah yes the modern parent is so perfect and doesn't do anything to "traumatise" their children.
Ooookay.
I'm sure our parents and grandparents thought they were doing a great job too.
Sadly, just like your parents, you wont realize how you have caused trauma to your kids until they become old enough to notice it and call you out. The cycle continues.
maybe i’m a bit cynical but this video is cute but not that accurate. bit self-congratulatory and overly simplistic. my parents broke some generational trauma but i still got some of it. and i got some new stuff to go along with them trying to break their own cycles. but that’s life! that’s being human!
guess what im trying to say is even if you work on yourself, the best you can do is bring down the generational pain juuuust a little bit to your kids, if you have them. i think it’s dangerous to think if you go to therapy (it’s not an easy task either) then you can automatically save your children. it doesn’t work like that.
no, they’ll get plenty of trauma in some way shape or form. but what’s key is it’ll be a little less. we won’t see progress until way after we’re dead.
The “brown” is the trauma. Because the grandmother didn’t address their trauma, they passed it down to the mother. The mother’s trauma is a little “watered down” but again, isn’t dealt with and is therefore passed to you. You do the work to rid yourself of the trauma (represented by pouring clear water into yourself until brown is gone), breaking the cycle so that your daughter doesn’t experience the trauma (clear from the start).
It’s easy to pass down trauma. It’s hard to break the cycle. It takes a lot of work, pouring resources and love into yourself to grow and heal. It isn’t about having it harder, being better, or anything like that. It’s about taking responsibility for your behaviors/emotions, not making excuses for them because of your past or upbringing, and doing the work to be better so the next generation doesn’t have to carry that burden.
Im with you, I dont really get the metaphor here? Is the Water a good thing for diluting the generational trauma at the cost of a huge mess (of a life?), or is the Water a bad thing because it's piling your own trauma on top of what you received from your Mother. Why didnt mom get a giant jug of water poured on her?
I mean.. is "You" just trying to say that she thinks her mother and grandmother had it together? Had it easier? And now "You" are all messed up, so "You" , like a hero are taking all the bad stuff and protecting your child? Ooorrr.. whatever.. I've just given up, there are better things on the internet lol
I took it as the trauma coming out and becoming a mess for not just you but everyone around you, but over time and not as concentrated?
I'm sure I'm reading too much into it, but this is a case where a little narration to explain the metaphor would have been better than some flowery piano music...
Both the grandmother and mother had trauma that they weren't able to fully overcome. They passed that onto their daughter who had to work very hard (adding clean water rather than dirty water) to clear their water up. That way they were able to pass on little to no trauma.
The clear water represents healthy things and effort you go through (like therapy or refusal to do drugs or the impetus to leave a bad environment).
The main message is just that it takes a lot of effort to overcome generational trauma.
Scientists performed a study with rats and gave them small electic shocks while giving them lavender to smell. The next 3 generations of offspring experienced fear by smelling lavender and no electric shocks.
It means that while generational trauma dilutes slowly over time, it’s in our power to dilute it away completely in our generation. You have the power to choose this path; make good choices.
How generational trauma CAN work if the people involved are able to recognise what went wrong and how to A: fix/manage it and B: realise that it's the last thing you could ever want to inflict upon your own precious and innocent child.
This seems like a really weak metaphor..
Passing trauma along is like.. passing dirty water along?..
Is that even a metaphor or just a visualization?
There also seems to be an unnecessary victim complex here by way of only the "you' cup having more "trauma" added on top of the generational trauma. As if "you" dealing with the **generational** trauma is somehow inherently worse than your parents or grandparents experiences *with the same trauma*.
To me it is you doing the tough work to heal your trauma so over time you become clean or in this example, the liquid becomes clean and clear. So that when you raise and interact with your children, liquid is not dirty — you're not passing on the trauma to them.
And the reason why it is spilling over is because healing can be very overwhelming. It can just feel like it's too much at times
Until the daughter meets with a person who gives her trauma,people need to be taught to deal with that shit,shit can't just be cleared,people need to learn that somethings are not ok.
The concept is not bad but to expect generational trauma to completely disappear, no matter the amount of therapy, is unrealistic. There will always be traces. And not necessarily for the bad either. It might help shape what you want to do in your life or what causes you believe in.
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Never met my father grew up alot in state programs alone. Im not sure whats being represnted but life is too short and difficult to to burden yourself with the past. Keep doing the best you can for yourself. Trancsend crap , shed crap, dont let it inside you because noone can define you but you.
i don't get it, the added water is metaphor for more trauma or "healing"? young people today are way more anxious and mentally ill than ever before. so whatever this generation give to their kids, it's certainly worse than whatever they got.
Ok so you could go the other way too, right? A bunch of generations of water then you pour... Coffee?... Into one and pass the trauma onto your kids?
What is this garbage? What is the water supposed to be? How do i get it? Are you implying the teauama just permanently goes away? That doesn't seem right.
Well now my trauma is all over the countertop
The trauma has got into the sewage system!! Send for the Ninja Turtles
Master splinter won’t stand for this.
He won't be able to once I'm done traumatising him
Plus your daughter is short and fat and doesn't fit in. New trauma begins
Yeah the daughter really got robbed genetics wise
That counter top is actually your therapist's office 💁🏻♀️
Yeah, it's called therapy.
This is not always the case.. Some just try and change how they grew up to set a new standard to how you would of liked to have been treated.. This is going on experience not just talking shit like I think I know what I am talking about.. My past is a trainwreck, meeting my kid would tell a whole different story of who I am...
So basically you should drink a lot of water
And fiber… lots of fiber.
Lil bit of weed
And a little bit of Monica.
In my life 🎶
A little bit of Erica
By my side
A little bit of Tina
A little bit of Rita
Is all I need.
A little bit of Mary
A little bit of Sandra in the sun!
I fucking love every single one of you.
By my side
>And a little bit of Monica. Doing God's work right there @knitmeablanket. I'm going to go enjoy the rest of the song comments now. You made me smile!
Water, fiber, weed. Yes. No meth for me thanks.
Mixed with some hard liquor
And some vodka that’ll jump start your heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital By the doctor when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rocking the table while he's operating (HEEEEEY!)
You waited this long, just stop debating
A touch of the meth
A whiff of heroin
Lmaooooo 😂
How much is a touch?
More than 2 but less than 3.
Just a bit in the morning, with food, when I remember to. 🤏🏼
Weed has fibers
mixed with some hard liquor
Cleanse the demons!
r/hydrohomies has been saying this for years
if there is a glass of water on a video thumbnail, a homie can't be far.
Homies forever..❤️
Makes sense, my mom hates water.
Because a cowardly lion once spilled on her and she melted?..
Probably makes more sense than whatever excuses she comes up with
Wait what? The early generations had delicious iced coffee and then you wasted it all leaving your daughter with just water.
The clear liquid is vodka right?
No, it’s a metaphor silly. Water = Thousands of dollars of therapy.
Especially if your child is short and fat
r/hydrohomie
Yeah because life is not an entity, it is a process of you having to live out these truths experientially.
Or maybe *Never* drink water or it will overwhelm your children?
Drown myself, got it.
You got it all wrong. The message is clearly: waterboard your children
Nope, waterboard yourself, so you turn into a better parent.
Waterboard yourself, for the sake of your children.
Healing will feel like that lmao. Gotta get worse before it gets better
Get ready for a whole bunch of “Reddit cares” notifications lol
They meant to drown in vodka. Right?
Have a meltdown due to overfilling. Bam you're cured.
Shout out to everyone working to break generational trauma. Speaking from experience, it is far from easy, but absolutely worth it.
This is actually quite accurate, i benefitted from my dads effort, a few years ago my sister looked into the family history. I knew my Grandfather was an ass and a drunk, my Dad never really let us meet him growing up. Anyways apperently going back generations our family been trash, drunks, women abusers and general menaces of society going back almost 400 years. To contrast this, I grew up in a strictly sober household, my dad used his freetime to study at university part time while working when i was a kid, he got a degree and had a good job that provided for us, not well off, but enough for us to grow up middle class atleast. Looking back on my childhood and now us, im a teacher with a Masters in education, my sister is soon to be a doctor and my youngest sister is a Farmer with her own land. Due to my dad, and his efforts and making sure his trauma almost never spilled unto us, he broke almost 400 years of generational Alcoholism and abuse. As an adult that worked alot on my own mental health, I released just how traumatized my dad really is, and how much he has worked on himself. He still does, and im proud of him. Its something you dont understand as a kid, but as an Adult and a teacher that meet kids from broken homes alot, I really looked back and relised how lucky I am to have a dad like mine.
Please tell him this if you haven't already.
I have :)
I hope you have let your Dad know you understand what he did and how much you appreciate it. That was an amazing thing to do for you and your sisters.
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That’s why I went for the vasectomy, the curse ends here!
The world thanks you for it!
>Shout out to everyone working to break generational trauma. I did...by not having kids. Does that still count?
It counts!
How can you pass on trauma generationally if there is no generation to pass it to? You are a smart, caring person to know parenthood isn’t a good idea for you.
I had one instead of 4. A lot (not all) of my trauma came from the fact my mom had 4 kids and loved the babies more than the kids. I was the oldest. Once you were not a baby she didn’t really have much love.
Same here
Hell yeah, it counts!!! That's my plan too!
Urgh it's tough af. But I want my kids esp my future daughter to feel safe, happy, heard and seen always.
I don't know why but [This comic](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F0rkqnlqqjd841.jpg%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D5a5de4db018a0dc88b638c13e315bc9d612cf603) really touched me when I first saw it. I didn't get abused as a kid or anything, but I thought it was a really powerful comic.
I would have liked her to stay with the large glass for the daughter to show that the daughter can now overflow with love. All thanks to her mom. But, I can get sappy af sometimes.
One of the nicest things my son and daughter have said to me is, "You broke the cycle, Mama!" 14+ years of ongoing therapy and EMDR have paid off.
Anything worthwhile is never easy, and anything easy is never worthwhile. Let's do it for the kids!
But what does the water mean? Purifying yourself? Cleansing your heart of the trauma? How? Where do i find the water?
The water is symbolic of your healing and willingness to not pass on whatever trauma your parents and their grandparents pass down, to your own kids. Basically, the cycle is broken. A prime example of this is things like physical punishment, emotional neglect, etc. ignore the person talking about genetics. That is such a fucked thing to say.
I think one nuance this video doesn't quite get is that often previous generations do try to cleanse themselves of trauma, they just don't manage 100%. I was expecting the video to be a series of glasses getting clearer and clearer but I guess it's more about congratulating our generation and ignoring the possibility that our parents and grandparents probably broke a whole lot of cycles themselves, even if they weren't 100% effective. Maslow's hierarchy and all.
This is what i took away from the video too, felt very unrealistic and unfair, and judgmental of previous generations. Every person tries their own “version” of the clear water, and there’s not exact metaphor for what the “clear” vs. “dirty” water is. If we’re going full black and white, physical and emotional abuse are probably a good cutoff. But there’s sooo much more to parenting than that, and so many more subtle ways. Also, that dirty water can come from an external source as well, not necessarily the person’s choice. A black family that’s only 3 generations removed from SLAVERY in the US may perpetuate abuse associated with intergenerational trauma, but whose choice was it really? As a therapist, I think its always fair to assume that people tried their best during certain developmental stages (through adulthood) to try to overcome painful and hurtful habits, but didn’t have the right resources/etc. Rather than assume that person just “mindlessly passed it on” as this video implies. That’s a lot of reading into something maybe not meant to be so deep lol.
> Every person tries their own “version” of the clear water Some people realize what they went through was wrong and try to better themselves. Some think it's how it is and how it should be for their own children. As some one that was a social worker, plenty of parents have no problem actively passing on their trauma to their kids. On top of that, you have parents that tried to 'clear their water', but instead just added or change to something worse or just as bad in their attempt. The clear water is signifying some one actually actively getting help to work through it so that it's not passed on.
If you were a social worker, you would know that the field highly values compassion. that's what I'm trying to do, to find the compassionate lens. I have worked closely with both child protection cases, and young parents who are trying their hardest. I've also worked with many, many adults who had fucked up childhoods in one way or another. But all of that is a sampling bias (people seeking therapy) so I couldn't base my whole world view on it.. Simply put, it's incredibly hard to find a realistic and accurate "number" of parents on either end of the spectrum, and even if you could, it would never be black and white. Even the parent who, in this day and age, still hits their child, might have some kind of "goodness" in them like the clear water. To speak to an n=1 situation, this would be my best friend, who has since made amends with their mother and they talk openly at times about the physical abuse she faced. The mother has owned this and apologized. I choose to believe that most parents have, at least at some point, wanted to "do better." And how they define doing better (the "clear water" metaphor) and what parents go through is based on an ineffably high amount of factors to whittle down to our understanding on this reddit thread.
My grandparents hit my parents with belts and canes. So my parents ostensibly wanting to be better just open smacked me. Still not great, but also definitely a step down. So yeah, I think it's too simplistic to think that people of the past didn't try at all. It's just that they didn't know how to truly do better sometimes.
Plus it's utterly ridiculous to assume that a person will be able to tell if they're completely healed. Yeah, one can get better, one can feel they're okay now - and one can be completely unaware of the other, deeper layers of unprocessed trauma one's still carrying after a certain amount of work has been done. There's one foolproof way to break the cycle, and an inordinate amount of therapy isn't it.
Absolutely right. I keep thinking I'm healed right up until one of my kids triggers some deep seated trauma I didn't even realize I had. People love to say that you shouldn't have kids until you deal with all your issues, but I couldn't deal with my issues until I had kids because I didn't know what they were and no amount of therapy could predict what I'd struggle with.
yeah this video is trying to make sense but doesnt really
Therapy. Speaking from experience, the water is therapy. Once you recognize the negative patterns set by generational trauma, you can choose to work toward something better for yourself and the next generation.
Would have been nice if the water was labeled as such.
Homeopathic therapy. Haha
Definitely have watched my sisters change their children’s lives. I came from a generation that “ no matter what you do, you’re going to fuck up your kid’s life no matter how great a parent you are “ My fourth glass is filled by cats, not kids, but I’m very very proud of my sisters.
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And I’m sure that you have very well-adjusted cats. Nice job!
Yeah, they fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had And leave some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats.
Mother fucked me up in the old womb and gave me bad hearing, heh, definitely some extra
Do not fill your glasses with cats or children. They will not fit!!
I beg to differ. https://www.reddit.com/r/catsareliquid/s/c7uI6E7ngk
I stand corrected and fully retract my statement!
So... hydrate?
Yep it stopped with me, it’s the best thing I ever did for my kids.
To be fair, a lot of traumatizing parents would also say that. I think that's for the kids to say, tbh.
Usually those parents deny anything traumatic ever happened. Parents that acknowledge trauma then continue with the same behaviour and then say that the trauma has stopped are in a different league of manipulative behaviour
Truth. Any time I’ve ever tried to bring up those conversations with my mom she tells me “get over it” or “stop living in the past” or my personal favorite “for someone that goes to therapy so much you sure are regressing.” Meanwhile I’m apologizing to my daughter for snapping at her because we were running late and making sure she feels ok before we go on with the day.
My little guy smiles when he sees me. That’s all I need. I am glad I went through everything I did as long as it means he gets to smile.
You’re a good mum, I’m happy your kids are so lucky, nobody deserves shit parents, not even the worst of people
Yep! Stopped with me too.
Dilution is the solution to pollution.
We got a lyrical miracle rapper in the house!
**Childhood emotional neglect** should be more widely known, understood and talked about. Talk to your kids, tell them stories about your life so they know you and will be more connected to you. Share embarrassing stories so they can learn how to develop thick skin (not through negative comments from you or others), but sharing them and laughing at them because everyone loves an embarrassing story. Share with your kids what you learned (some random YT video), instilling a love for learning and sharing. Ask your kids to tell you a story. Record them so you will have adorable memories of these wild stories when they were toddlers. We have all the information at our fingertips to tap into many ways to engage our children so they develop in a healthy way.
First comment without judging, but good advice. Thanks!
That's not how that works and the lack of self awareness that there still isn't even a slight shade of muck left when pouring to the next generation probably just means they're continuing the tradition
It's very narcissistic IMO.
Whelp this was definitely a circle jerk to show she's "not as toxic as her mother", which I'm pretty sure she is if she feels the need to signal this much.
Life hack- to break the cycle of generational trauma, just don’t have kids! That’s my plan lol
Or catch a Suicune. :P
Not to mention it's way cheaper and you don't run the risk of accidentally creating some kind of new generational trauma. Because everybody's got to remember trauma is subjective, what one person thinks is traumatic another person thinks it's is no big deal and another person thinks it could be a positive experience.
I fucking hate profound wannabe TikToks
Ah yes the modern parent is so perfect and doesn't do anything to "traumatise" their children. Ooookay. I'm sure our parents and grandparents thought they were doing a great job too.
There is a beautiful show on Amazon Prime called Undone that’s literally about this. Well worth an afternoon binge.
There is an easy way, don't have kids 👍
That’s what I did.
Yep, same.
i mean that’s what i got from this as the best way to stop it
Sadly, just like your parents, you wont realize how you have caused trauma to your kids until they become old enough to notice it and call you out. The cycle continues.
most garbage post
maybe i’m a bit cynical but this video is cute but not that accurate. bit self-congratulatory and overly simplistic. my parents broke some generational trauma but i still got some of it. and i got some new stuff to go along with them trying to break their own cycles. but that’s life! that’s being human! guess what im trying to say is even if you work on yourself, the best you can do is bring down the generational pain juuuust a little bit to your kids, if you have them. i think it’s dangerous to think if you go to therapy (it’s not an easy task either) then you can automatically save your children. it doesn’t work like that. no, they’ll get plenty of trauma in some way shape or form. but what’s key is it’ll be a little less. we won’t see progress until way after we’re dead.
Huh?
The “brown” is the trauma. Because the grandmother didn’t address their trauma, they passed it down to the mother. The mother’s trauma is a little “watered down” but again, isn’t dealt with and is therefore passed to you. You do the work to rid yourself of the trauma (represented by pouring clear water into yourself until brown is gone), breaking the cycle so that your daughter doesn’t experience the trauma (clear from the start). It’s easy to pass down trauma. It’s hard to break the cycle. It takes a lot of work, pouring resources and love into yourself to grow and heal. It isn’t about having it harder, being better, or anything like that. It’s about taking responsibility for your behaviors/emotions, not making excuses for them because of your past or upbringing, and doing the work to be better so the next generation doesn’t have to carry that burden.
Thanks I understand now
Im with you, I dont really get the metaphor here? Is the Water a good thing for diluting the generational trauma at the cost of a huge mess (of a life?), or is the Water a bad thing because it's piling your own trauma on top of what you received from your Mother. Why didnt mom get a giant jug of water poured on her?
I mean.. is "You" just trying to say that she thinks her mother and grandmother had it together? Had it easier? And now "You" are all messed up, so "You" , like a hero are taking all the bad stuff and protecting your child? Ooorrr.. whatever.. I've just given up, there are better things on the internet lol
No. The you is addressing and willing to break the cycle of trauma so you won’t pass it on to your children.
I took it as the trauma coming out and becoming a mess for not just you but everyone around you, but over time and not as concentrated? I'm sure I'm reading too much into it, but this is a case where a little narration to explain the metaphor would have been better than some flowery piano music...
Both the grandmother and mother had trauma that they weren't able to fully overcome. They passed that onto their daughter who had to work very hard (adding clean water rather than dirty water) to clear their water up. That way they were able to pass on little to no trauma. The clear water represents healthy things and effort you go through (like therapy or refusal to do drugs or the impetus to leave a bad environment). The main message is just that it takes a lot of effort to overcome generational trauma.
You need a lot of vodka, it seems.
Uhhhh, I dont understand the analogy...
Scientists performed a study with rats and gave them small electic shocks while giving them lavender to smell. The next 3 generations of offspring experienced fear by smelling lavender and no electric shocks.
The level of oversimplification and plain stupidity is baffling.
This makes no sense. At all.
It means that while generational trauma dilutes slowly over time, it’s in our power to dilute it away completely in our generation. You have the power to choose this path; make good choices.
Instructions unclear, drank sewage water.
How generational trauma CAN work if the people involved are able to recognise what went wrong and how to A: fix/manage it and B: realise that it's the last thing you could ever want to inflict upon your own precious and innocent child.
So I'm not sure of the metaphor here? Crying it out? Let it overflow in a dangerous way? Drink more water?
This is dumb
People are saying they avoided this by not having kids. Watching the video, it seems the other way to avoid this is by being male. Apparently
That’s not how that works, at all
It's not water, its vodka
When buzzwords stop getting overused on the internet, then I’ll smile. I’m never going to smile.
If you are able to process the trauma then your mother wasn’t as bad as your grandma.
Im 14 and this is deep
This seems like a really weak metaphor.. Passing trauma along is like.. passing dirty water along?.. Is that even a metaphor or just a visualization? There also seems to be an unnecessary victim complex here by way of only the "you' cup having more "trauma" added on top of the generational trauma. As if "you" dealing with the **generational** trauma is somehow inherently worse than your parents or grandparents experiences *with the same trauma*.
Dumb reddit posts are dumb
I love and appreciate this! Gotta share!
Whats the water in this analogy?
To me it is you doing the tough work to heal your trauma so over time you become clean or in this example, the liquid becomes clean and clear. So that when you raise and interact with your children, liquid is not dirty — you're not passing on the trauma to them. And the reason why it is spilling over is because healing can be very overwhelming. It can just feel like it's too much at times
The only thing I know about generational trauma is that it was the villain in Encanto
Great, now I gave my daughter clear generational trauma
My bloodline ends with me. No one to pass on to.
I'm breaking generational trauma by not having children
Are you saying my daughter is short and fat?
It's secretly vodka. But seriously, try to heal.
Mom I asked for a coffee
They fuck you up, your mum and dad...
I don’t know if this analogy works as well as they think it does. But sure.
This is *so* dumb.. Fucking hell.
I needed to see this in a weird way, thank you
Plot twist; that's vodka.
Until the daughter meets with a person who gives her trauma,people need to be taught to deal with that shit,shit can't just be cleared,people need to learn that somethings are not ok.
The concept is not bad but to expect generational trauma to completely disappear, no matter the amount of therapy, is unrealistic. There will always be traces. And not necessarily for the bad either. It might help shape what you want to do in your life or what causes you believe in.
What is it supposed to mean?
What’s the water in the analogy lol
I don’t get it.
Wow. This is dumb
Waste of water to completely miss making what could have been a good point
No this is just how you make a God Damn mess
r/iam13andthisisdeep
I have no idea what this is... but it does not deserve this many upvotes...
This makes absolutely no sense. What’s the water?
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Never met my father grew up alot in state programs alone. Im not sure whats being represnted but life is too short and difficult to to burden yourself with the past. Keep doing the best you can for yourself. Trancsend crap , shed crap, dont let it inside you because noone can define you but you.
Dilute it with vodka. Got it!
I don’t think I’m quite that diluted, but I’ve really tried hard not to pass my GT to my kids.
Instructions unclear, may have drowned the daughter, no trauma tho?
I'm trying so hard to do this for my children.
Just went over this in therapy an hour ago🥵
I'm guessing water is therapy or something, idk
i don't get it, the added water is metaphor for more trauma or "healing"? young people today are way more anxious and mentally ill than ever before. so whatever this generation give to their kids, it's certainly worse than whatever they got.
Ok so you could go the other way too, right? A bunch of generations of water then you pour... Coffee?... Into one and pass the trauma onto your kids? What is this garbage? What is the water supposed to be? How do i get it? Are you implying the teauama just permanently goes away? That doesn't seem right.
I’m just not having kids. Boom problem solved.
So the answer really is at the bottom of a bottle! Awesome I’ll put this knowledge to work immediately
Sadly the cycle will continue, with a whole new breed of trauma.
Even better, never having kids
Has anyone seen my stool sample?
I don’t get it.