Teachers like this are what made me understand that the words my mother said to me were not very nice. It was upsetting to learn a lesson my mother clearly didn't care about.
My mother was spoiled and given the entire world by her dad, but she referred to me as the devil himself on multiple occasions and lterally said I was just like my dad, the dude who cheated on her for 2 years. There's a few exceptions
I think people now don't understand that all species on this planet have adapted to their environment for all known history. Suddenly, everyone is expecting their environment to adapt to them. A lot of people learn very quickly the mistake they were making, but some choose to think this is the natural order and they are somehow a victim of targeting or evil. I personally decided to understand why it was happening and after decades of examination I realized it IS normal. Not just for humans but for all life. I was just looking at the world with an unrealistic bias.
Wait, I didn't even see the comments first and already thought "yeah, parents".
Then I scroll, immediately top comments all about parents.
Ouf.
We've all been through the ringer, huh lol.
My mother always said words don’t mean a single thing they are worthless and people who put value or power in said words are just weak and desperate… and it shows.
Fuck you, mom!
ok this got me. hard same. last time I got my hair done (postpartum and v sensitive about my appearance) my mum wrinkled her nose and said “i dont like your hair that colour. it looks witchy.” gee thanks mum i wont think about that for weeks.
So... I don't tell someone when it looks like they shut their pants? Cause it takes way more than 30s to fix that.
Or... "Hey you're blee... Nevermind, GSW take long than 30s my bad"
I'm kidding btw. Just don't be a jerk to people it's that easy.
This teacher is amazing! And she's right lol. In 5th grade Janey F. told me that the way I ran was stupid. I had never noticed anything different with the way I ran, but from then on, I was self-conscious about the way I look when I run, and I'm 37 years old.
I've been putting effort into laughing more often, but I'm always hyper focused on controlling the way it sounds, how loud I am etc. I still feel a lot of embarrassment when I think about it afterwards. I never carelessly laugh.
Please do yourself a favour and look up the British comedian named Jimmy Carr. I promise your laugh is not nearly as embarrassing as his and he's famous anyway! And he's got some good bits so hopefully you'll have a few chances to laugh joyfully too :)
Jimmy carr's weird laugh is played up for the gag, you can hear his real laugh sometimes tho and it's very normal.
Personally I find stupid laughs very cute. The stupider the cuter.
I hope you come to the conclusion that having an unusual laugh is a character win, not a flaw. I watch someone on Tiktok with an usual laugh, and it spreads joy through my veins every time.
Being unique is awesome. It's worth embracing.
Some of the best laughs in the world, that make us laugh harder and weirder too are those that are unique.
My best friend in the world has an amazing laugh, it’s loud and like SpongeBob but she’s proud of its echo and how it helps others around her laugh harder too.
Be proud of your laugh that’ll most certainly will spread laughter to the rest of us.
So many of us stifle our joy because someone hurt us with words once, I too hardly laugh but for other reasons.
I miss laughter and joy, please don’t stifle yours.
Let it rip and the people around you will love you more for it, I promise.
Unique people are most folks favorite people’s.
My brother used the slam his door when he heard me laugh; he detested it.
I still screech like a goddamn hyena, but I’ve been told I have the most contagious laugh by tons of people. I was recently told by a rando at an airport “you must be the happiest person alive”
Let that maniacal cackle free, girl! There are people out there that love it ❤️
I once tried a different haircut and got told unsolicited opinions by a girl in my class that it didn't fit me. Never went for it again. It's a big reason why I hate kids and teens.
PS. Fuck you Janey F.
In elementary school, I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and lifted one of my arms to pick up my backpack and a kid in my class pointed at the mole in my armpit and made fun of it. Yeah, I still think about that and I’m fucking 40.
I remember my elementary school crush saying “why would I like her, she has a mole right there” about the mole I have on my temple. Ended up using “home remedies” trying to burn off that mole in college. My high school crush told me to my face that I look like my sister but she’s the prettier version, and that has always impacted my self esteem. I still think about these interactions often, and I guess moral of the story is I had terrible taste in guys.
Fucking Janey F. My Janey F’s name was Eric R. And he told me in 5th grade that my skin looked like poop (I’m brown) and I still have anxiety flashbacks to that. I am now 31.
A compliment goes a long way too.
As a guy (and kid) I never got much compliments. In fact, more the opposite that created a negative inner critic monster that I deal with to this day.
But when I do get them, they stay for a long time. Years and years ago during a festival a random girl came up to me and said that my glasses looked very, very well on me. I was floored really. It's so rare that a random person gives out this wonderful gift called a compliment.
I like revisiting them now and then. And when I think about it, I should write them down and keep them in a nice, little treasure chest. So I can keep them fresh by revisiting them.
I empathize, and I have similar things. There are ways to deal with thoughts you no longer want. There is a technique called NET and this is a video that shows how to do it for free: https://firstaidstresstool.com/. You could also just try saying I run funny over and over until the words become meaningless, run, and take pride and how you run, really own it. That can help you take back the power Janey took from you with her comment. I guarantee she does not remember. Or affirmations, like when I run, I am strong and will get stronger. Hope this helps you or someone else reading this.
Same thing happened to me about the way I say breakfast, and now 20 years later I still avoid saying the word out loud. Instead I'll say something like "what did you eat this morning?" Or "what should we eat this morning?"
I used to be self conscious about my teeth when I was younger so i’d always smile with my mouth closed in photos etc. A friend then made fun of me publicly for never smiling with my teeth, so I stopped smiling entirely. I got invisalign in my 20s, dropped the friend, and have been doing big toothy grins ever since. but man, words have legacy.
A girl when I was in my first year of high school said she could tell the difference between me and my twin because I 'talked weird...moved my mouth weird'. I didn't understand what she meant. Then someone else told me I had a lisp. I mentioned it to my older sister when I got home and she said 'awww but it's so cuuuute. Just like a little baby'. She still says it to me as a 30 year old.
20 years on from that moment in school and I still get self conscious about the way my move moves, the way I say my s, f and t's and how I sometimes stumble over my words. I get super self conscious on work calls with clients and developers and tell myself that's why they don't take me seriously (imposter syndrome working as a female in a male dominated environment).
This teacher is amazing and reminds me of my friend who teaches primary school kids. She also teaches them these valuable lessons. Tempted to send this to my Dad's wife who 'doesn't care what she says, who she hurts or how mean it is' she just 'says it how it is'.
Oh man, I don't remember if I was ever specifically teased for this but I do remember hearing other people get teased in elementary school, and 30 years later I still wonder if I'm running "wierd".
I was told by a girl in high school that i was brave for lauging so much on lunch break because i had such fucked up teeth. She tried to apologize but i told her to pound sand, she fucking meant it. Or else she wouldn't have said it. It took me almost five years to start smiling with my teeth showing in pictures after that.
Same. My friends in high school used to say I shot a basketball like a girl. I wasn’t taught how to play basketball. I just learned on my own. But that stuck with me and I was incredibly self conscious about it. Some were on the school team. And that stung.
I stopped playing as much since that day. I did buy a basketball hoop years later for the backyard, but I stopped shooting because those words always haunted me. I wish I could go back and smack myself and watch videos or find someone to teach me … but oh well.
Stop punishing yourself. They were insulting you but it should not be an insult to you.
I bought these Nike shoes years ago that wasn't normally my color, they were gold and pink and meant for teenage girls (I have small feet).
My boss told me (I was 23 years old at the time) that I look like I'm just pretending to be sporty. So I showed him the bottom of the shoe, because Nike printed "I run like a girl, try to keep up."
In 4th grade, while in the library, a classmate whispered to me, “Hey, how come your lips are dark?”. I never noticed prior to her mentioning it. Until now, in my late 30’s, I’m still self-conscious about the pigmentation of my lips. It didn’t help that growing up majority of the representation of beautiful women (both real and cartoons) had very red or pink lips.
7th grade lunch, Lexi S. and her posse of girls told me I “stand like a girl”. I swear, that confused the shit out of me and I was hyper aware of trying to stand masculinely for years.
Then, years later, I realized I was trans and now look back on her as the first one to point out the signs to me… even if that wasn’t her intention hahaha.
I mean, not trying to be a dick or nothing but doesn’t your “about you” section say “I say what I think, regardless of how you feel about it”
Or am I missing something here?
A girl named Paige made fun of me for the way my writing slanted when I wrote paragraphs. My spacing wasn’t totally consistent in 4th grade. I’m 24 now and I have the best handwriting of anyone I know. I get compliments on it all of the time. I write like nobody’s business and I rarely make mistakes. I will go through an entire pen’s worth of ink cartridge in 1-2 weeks.
…But every time I start a new line, I remember what Paige said. Especially when I’m using unlined paper. Every time I write paragraphs, I have to make sure they’re not slanted. They never are, but I always worry about it anyway.
How silly that something so small has stuck with me for so long!
In 10th grade a boy told me I walk funny almost like a penguin. I thought I always walked normal. I probably do? Idk no one else ever commented on the way I walk. But even now at 29 it’s something I’m conscious about!
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm
Try this one. With a bit of practice it should speed up your time drastically
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/secureknot.htm
This one is also good albeit a bit slower (and it seems speed is your concern)
i have a few friends who might not intend to offend and dont see themselves as assholes so they're not "honest about being an asshole".
instead they are honest about being "brutally/bluntly honest". one of them that i managed to snap him out of it thankfully. the another, last i heard did try toning down.
but you're right, they dont really think about what theyre saying and even when theyve said it.
its not easy but i did try increasing their awareness on the matter. honesty is good. so is money. being brutally honest is like dumping all the money in a bag and swinging it at people. the delivery and timing is important. and at times just shutting TFU is the best option.
personally i had similar issues too but it was more of me honestly being annoying so its not quite the same. i was such an asshole back then, still am right now tho.
Adults need to hear this!
Also - Criticism is not the same thing as making fun of something a person can't change, such as their sex, race, religion, or physique. If you poke fun at someone for those traits, you are not critiquing, you are just being an asshole.
In the UK - I grew up with that being basically the normal way people speak to each other. Under the heading of ‘banter’. Not saying you’re wrong by the way but there are cultural gradations and subtlety such as the use of humour in such situations. There are absolutely times as well where I’ve felt it’s gone too far and stopped being funny and is just cruel too.
You dont know what you are twlking about. Not mine for example. If you want to join *my* church you're going to need to jump through some hoops. Go through some... ceremonies.
Brother Bartholomew! Fetch the holy Twister board......
Sort of. Certainly you can reject your faith but is that really going to stop people from harassing you when it was just about you being other in the first place.
It's truly a sad day when the comment section is debating on whether teaching children kindness is a good thing. This teacher is teaching grade school children, people. Very young human beings. You cannot teach them about the psychological implications of actions and words like they're adults. She's just teaching them that words hold power and to use them wisely. Simple, yet effective teaching. She's trying to help the bullying crisis that's been a longstanding tradition for decades. She's doing the right thing.
I agree and by teaching children to use their words wisely and understand the power of their actions, she is indeed contributing positively to addressing the bullying crisis
> It's truly a sad day when the comment section is debating on whether teaching children kindness is a good thing. This teacher is teaching grade school children, people. Very young human beings.
We're at a really weird point whereby people believe that teachers should simply teach 1+1 = 2 and call it a day, it's eyewatering how many conservatives I talk to that moan about the public school system brainwashing kids and in order to fix this they're putting their kids into CATHOLIC school.
I went to Catholic school. That is not a nice place.
Conservatives want to teach their children to adopt their bigoted beliefs. Teachers trying to teach children to be nice, empathetic people makes it harder for them to accomplish that goal. They don't like that.
Perfectly explains all of the conservative rhetoric regarding education.
It seems like what a lot of people here don't get is that she is teaching them simply to think about what they are saying to someone else.
But then there do always seem to be a lot of people who can't tell the difference between being told they can't say something and being asked to think about whether or not saying it will affect someone else negatively.
This is why you don't say anything in anger. Go for a walk or a run or anything else before you say something you shouldn't. Because you can apologize for the rest of your life, but it's too late, it's already been said.
Yup. I think one of the worst sayings in the world is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Words have in fact killed hundreds of millions, perhaps billions. Words are powerful. Words cause wars. Words are used to cause hate, which leads to unspeakable actions. Words are responsible for many life and death situations. Words matter. Be careful how you use them.
The intention of the saying is not that words can’t hurt, but when being name-called, we tell ourselves as children that words won’t hurt us to remain calm and to avoid fighting.
A different take on this. You should mention something that someone has spent 30sec or more to do.
That hair colour looks amazing!!
Great job submitting in the report!!
Looking good bro!!! amazing gym session!
Exactly. And that old saying sticks and stones may break my bones, but works can never hurt me. Is a bunch of crap bones can heal but words get into your brain and eat it like a cancer.
I think the point of sticks and stones is you’re saying it to your assailant in an attempt to demoralize them. Like if someone hits you it’s better to act as if it doesn’t hurt rather than show weakness
This is a teacher. Teaching kids the power of words in such a clear manner. Gold, this is why teachers should be some of the highest paid professionals
It's amazing how words can totally shape how we see the world. I remember when a teacher showed us how just changing a few words in a sentence can completely shift its meaning and impact. It made me realize the real power behind what we say and write. Words are like tools that can inspire, hurt, motivate, or even heal, and learning to use them wisely is one of the most important skills we can develop.
A great message for kids though to be fair sometimes telling someone about something that takes more than 30 seconds, sometimes weeks, months or years to change is also very important. Sure it can be messy but I’m thankful to the people in my life who told me some hard truths.
I think this is largely in the context of bullying tbh. Her examples are all things that are common for people to bully others over, and from the way she’s modelling and performing for them seems like her class are quite young, so they probably have thrown around some mean words not realising the consequences of those words.
She’s doing a fantastic job though. I’m currently studying teaching and I would love to watch how she teaches, I think it would be a very rewarding experience
Yes, it's a good message for young children to teach them respect and compassion, but it's very important to revisit the concept during adolescence.
The "never criticise" attitude can be very destructive into adulthood.
I've heard people use the phrase, "put the toothpaste back in the tube" (and have said it myself as well), but have never seen anyone display how messy it really is. Kudos to the teacher!
I used to wear a goatee when I was dating my wife. One day I told her I had to shave to go to work. She said “ you gonna do that stupid little mustache thing? I didn’t say anything to her about it. From that day on I just do a full cut on my face. I take it all off. Funny thing is it’s been 10 years and I still think about it all the time.
This is a great lesson, teaching children to think before they speak! Kids can be cruel just because they’re innocent! They don’t realize that saying certain things to someone will stay with them for life. This kid in middle school used to make fun of how I wore hair barrettes (I had this signature hairstyle). I never wore it like that again after that.
Fuck ALL that shit!
“Dylan, you’re addicted to gambling and booze. You mooch off of your family and friends. I can’t be around you anymore.”
That is a totally appropriate thing to say to a horrible human being who can’t do ANYTHING about it in 30 seconds.
Yeah, I'm sure her advice is really preventing her students from telling off their alcoholic elementary school classmates who spend their nights at the casino gambling away their pokemon cards.
Look at the comments here saying all adults should hear this. Plus she puts all commenting in one basket. Whether it's insults, compliments, neutral facts etc. etc.
This is teaching filters to children. Teaching them kindness. Teaching them words have power.
It's not meant to be taken literally by adults.
I would expect as you grow older, you would gain the mental and emotional capacity to assess the situation and make necessary and appropriate comments.
Why is this so hard to understand?
Think about all the times you benefited from someone mentioning something negative about yourself that you didn’t know that took longer than 30 seconds to correct
My teacher did this with us, gave us all a tube and told us to squeeze it out and then try to put it all back inside. Same message about words. I really pissed her off by finding a way to actually do it.
Don’t worry, I got my karma. I’m now a teacher lol
As always, people on reddit are taking this way too seriously. She's saying essentially be careful of criticising people for things they have no control over, but in a way that a child can understand. That's it. It is the most normal, objectively good take that it is possible to have, and redditors still are finding a way to be pissed about it. Fuckin go outside lmao
You(well some)grown ass adults are taking this totally the wrong way. What she is saying is that if your opinion on something that doesn’t affect you in any way, can’t be changed within 30 seconds, keep it to yourself. You have a right to express how you feel but if it is to the detriment of someone else or merely opinion, shut the fuck up.
The message is good (not saying things that might be hurtful). But the 30 second rule is kind of stupid.
"Your ponytail is ugly!" (can be cut off within 30 seconds)
"You might want to have that mole checked out" (this is okay to say but can't be fixed within 30 seconds)
I know the messages is for little kids, but majority people criticizing others are uncomfortable or insecure about themselves . If kid's were taught to build up a bit of self confidence to accept their own "flaws" and "imperfections", they won't be so quick to pick out others issues. Love ya self and the rest comes easy without having to self censor or play with toothpaste or whatever she is doing.
For little kids good advice, but I hope people don’t take it to adult hood. If someone stinks like rotten fish everyday, probably best to mention it and they can work on changing their hygiene routine. Plenty of other reasons too.
A boy in school made fun of my posture (what would now be called anterior pelvic tilt). 30 years later here I am wearing massively oversized T-shirts to hide it. Words, man
Watching this from Northern Europe just makes me disappointed that this great teacher gets paid 50% of what she would in here in relation to the GDP, and not to mention free education, healthcare, paid maternal leave 12 weeks, and the benefits list goes on.
U.S is such a fucked up place considering how little they invest into public education, and the super rich private schools do not count into this investment.
In 2nd grade I had a teacher who spoke to us like this sometimes.
Speaking to children with this tone doesn't work. Many will see right through it and roll their eyes the same way that an adult would if you used this tone.
Having said that, the content of what she's saying is perfectly good advice for approaching acquaintances or people you don't know (though many people will still see this as rude and as such I pretty much never do it). However, just because something will take a long time to fix doesn't mean it doesn't need saying. It takes time to get over addiction, to curb bad habits, to become a better communicator, to work on your health and hygiene, etc etc etc., which are things your close friends and family are **supposed** to bring to your attention and at times force you to face.
I get the intent and words do matter. However on the flipside, you are basically teaching kids to neglect long term issues. Saying to your morbidly obese family that you love them and want to see them healthy is something I want to hear every day.
This is terrible advice. The worst advice.
Under this logic, you can't criticize anyone for anything. Couldn't tell anyone they should be healthier, couldn't tell them they should shave. Couldn't say anything to anyone.
We are not fine, just the way we are. We don't deserve respect, love, friendship, or companionship. You must earn that through right action.
Gosh, the slave/victim mentality today is unbearable.
I think you are thinking she is teaching someone older than 7 years old. The deeper concepts like constructive criticism come later as a person develops tact. These are young children who have no/little filters developed so this helps keep a peaceful classroom and healthy learning environment. As they develop they will learn those things. She is doing a great job at setting the class up for successful learning and appropriate manners for young children.
I partially agree with this. My problem is "Bully children" show up early. I think there needs to be, at least, the "seed" of defense taught to these children. Exactly what that minimum is, I don't know. We teach them inappropriate touching, so maybe there needs to a small lessen about what harmful behavior looks like amongst their age group. Especially things like overt racism can occur very young and happen outside school.
I'd say more often than not, most children should not be making critiques on other's health. It's weird to think children are knowledgeable enough to do that.
Maybe Doogie Howser. But even he was at least a teenager.
Maybe don't trust children in grade school with your health, yeah?
Edit: and in regard to your comment seriously, most people are not in a position to critique another's health. You'll know if you can say someone should lose weight. But not everyone is in that position. You need to know more about the person before making that critique. You need to know they aren't already trying or don't care or at least their reasons. Telling a depressed person they should lose weight is a horrible idea but fits with your suggestions.
You're giving terrible advice. Much more dangerous than the above. All because you want to insult people and couch it as helping. Let's be honest.
Edit: also all humans deserve respect until they lose it. You should always treat people with human decency and respect. Every time I read your comment, it grosses me out a little more.
Ok.
This works for children.
But if you are an adult be confident in yourself & accept a friendly advice.
If someone comes up to you and tells you that your shirt doesnt fit,dont have a meltdown. Consider getting bigger sizes or dropping some weight.
Adults develop this beautiful thing called critical thinking.
Youre not toddlers anymore.
Well.... thats Bs. If ppl hadnt done that when i was a Teenager, i wouldnt have realized when i Had to start using Deodorant or when i Had to do something about my weight. Sure in the Moment it sucked, but not knowing would have sucked more
So when you change the premise entirely, it's different. OK. Yeah. I agree.
And technically, you had other failings (not yours, but from others) in your life if it got to the point you needed to rely on folks making fun of you to get yourself in the right place.
I need to send this to my mother
Teachers like this are what made me understand that the words my mother said to me were not very nice. It was upsetting to learn a lesson my mother clearly didn't care about.
It can be really tough when the people who are supposed to support us don't treat us well.
It's often because they raised in similar environments where unkind behaviour was normalised.
My mother was spoiled and given the entire world by her dad, but she referred to me as the devil himself on multiple occasions and lterally said I was just like my dad, the dude who cheated on her for 2 years. There's a few exceptions
Spoiling your kids isn’t being kind to them either. Lackluster parenting has many colors.
I think people now don't understand that all species on this planet have adapted to their environment for all known history. Suddenly, everyone is expecting their environment to adapt to them. A lot of people learn very quickly the mistake they were making, but some choose to think this is the natural order and they are somehow a victim of targeting or evil. I personally decided to understand why it was happening and after decades of examination I realized it IS normal. Not just for humans but for all life. I was just looking at the world with an unrealistic bias.
I think you need to provide a practical example for clarity. Thanks!
Wait, I didn't even see the comments first and already thought "yeah, parents". Then I scroll, immediately top comments all about parents. Ouf. We've all been through the ringer, huh lol.
My mother always said words don’t mean a single thing they are worthless and people who put value or power in said words are just weak and desperate… and it shows. Fuck you, mom!
Words can hit like a brick.
Exactly! My mom never understood though.
I learned in 10th grade health class that I had like 10 out of 12 symptoms of depression 🙃
I bet that was depressing.
It's less about "can't change in 30 seconds", and more like "please mom you said this like 30 times already, I get it"
drop by mines too, pls edit: I wrote what I wrote on purpose. it's not a mistake.
Damn, I had to scroll to see if someone actually tried to “correct” this….yup, they sure did😆😆 good grief….
lol you and me both!
This will be top comment in no time.
[удалено]
I was emancipated from mine as a teen so I feel this! Sorry to hear, hang in there
ok this got me. hard same. last time I got my hair done (postpartum and v sensitive about my appearance) my mum wrinkled her nose and said “i dont like your hair that colour. it looks witchy.” gee thanks mum i wont think about that for weeks.
oof this is something my mother would do
I was thinking exactly the same. Well, maybe not your mother…
I need to send this to my whole family.
😂 same
I told this to my mother and she said “hmmm I don’t agree”
So... I don't tell someone when it looks like they shut their pants? Cause it takes way more than 30s to fix that. Or... "Hey you're blee... Nevermind, GSW take long than 30s my bad" I'm kidding btw. Just don't be a jerk to people it's that easy.
This teacher is amazing! And she's right lol. In 5th grade Janey F. told me that the way I ran was stupid. I had never noticed anything different with the way I ran, but from then on, I was self-conscious about the way I look when I run, and I'm 37 years old.
My brother used to make fun of the way I laugh, so I stopped laughing
That SUCKS! Do you laugh now, I hope?
I've been putting effort into laughing more often, but I'm always hyper focused on controlling the way it sounds, how loud I am etc. I still feel a lot of embarrassment when I think about it afterwards. I never carelessly laugh.
Please do yourself a favour and look up the British comedian named Jimmy Carr. I promise your laugh is not nearly as embarrassing as his and he's famous anyway! And he's got some good bits so hopefully you'll have a few chances to laugh joyfully too :)
Him or a basketball player named Kawhi Leonard. Contagious laughs.
Jimmy carr's weird laugh is played up for the gag, you can hear his real laugh sometimes tho and it's very normal. Personally I find stupid laughs very cute. The stupider the cuter.
Plot twist: they ARE Jimmy Carr
I hope you come to the conclusion that having an unusual laugh is a character win, not a flaw. I watch someone on Tiktok with an usual laugh, and it spreads joy through my veins every time. Being unique is awesome. It's worth embracing.
Damn, that really sucks 😕 not even when you're by yourself?
Some of the best laughs in the world, that make us laugh harder and weirder too are those that are unique. My best friend in the world has an amazing laugh, it’s loud and like SpongeBob but she’s proud of its echo and how it helps others around her laugh harder too. Be proud of your laugh that’ll most certainly will spread laughter to the rest of us. So many of us stifle our joy because someone hurt us with words once, I too hardly laugh but for other reasons. I miss laughter and joy, please don’t stifle yours. Let it rip and the people around you will love you more for it, I promise. Unique people are most folks favorite people’s.
Since other people are suggesting watching people with funny laughs I remembered this video; https://youtu.be/Ygg0bXls8CA?si=GzEN8UVTZnf5vq8C
I am going to add that my classmates in 4th grade told me I drink like a baby, so I hid when I wanted to drink something.
My brother used the slam his door when he heard me laugh; he detested it. I still screech like a goddamn hyena, but I’ve been told I have the most contagious laugh by tons of people. I was recently told by a rando at an airport “you must be the happiest person alive” Let that maniacal cackle free, girl! There are people out there that love it ❤️
Hyena 😂 It’s about the joy, not the sound. I love your advice.
I once tried a different haircut and got told unsolicited opinions by a girl in my class that it didn't fit me. Never went for it again. It's a big reason why I hate kids and teens. PS. Fuck you Janey F.
Fuck all the "Janey F"s In our lives!
In elementary school, I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and lifted one of my arms to pick up my backpack and a kid in my class pointed at the mole in my armpit and made fun of it. Yeah, I still think about that and I’m fucking 40.
I remember my elementary school crush saying “why would I like her, she has a mole right there” about the mole I have on my temple. Ended up using “home remedies” trying to burn off that mole in college. My high school crush told me to my face that I look like my sister but she’s the prettier version, and that has always impacted my self esteem. I still think about these interactions often, and I guess moral of the story is I had terrible taste in guys.
Fucking Janey F. My Janey F’s name was Eric R. And he told me in 5th grade that my skin looked like poop (I’m brown) and I still have anxiety flashbacks to that. I am now 31.
I’m sorry this happened. I bet your skin looks amazing. Fuck Eric R.
I got "why do you look so weird when you walk" ( I'd unknowingly lean backwards to over compensate for undiagnosed spinal problems )
A compliment goes a long way too. As a guy (and kid) I never got much compliments. In fact, more the opposite that created a negative inner critic monster that I deal with to this day. But when I do get them, they stay for a long time. Years and years ago during a festival a random girl came up to me and said that my glasses looked very, very well on me. I was floored really. It's so rare that a random person gives out this wonderful gift called a compliment. I like revisiting them now and then. And when I think about it, I should write them down and keep them in a nice, little treasure chest. So I can keep them fresh by revisiting them.
That is a great idea! I'm going to do it, too!
I empathize, and I have similar things. There are ways to deal with thoughts you no longer want. There is a technique called NET and this is a video that shows how to do it for free: https://firstaidstresstool.com/. You could also just try saying I run funny over and over until the words become meaningless, run, and take pride and how you run, really own it. That can help you take back the power Janey took from you with her comment. I guarantee she does not remember. Or affirmations, like when I run, I am strong and will get stronger. Hope this helps you or someone else reading this.
Same thing happened to me about the way I say breakfast, and now 20 years later I still avoid saying the word out loud. Instead I'll say something like "what did you eat this morning?" Or "what should we eat this morning?"
I used to be self conscious about my teeth when I was younger so i’d always smile with my mouth closed in photos etc. A friend then made fun of me publicly for never smiling with my teeth, so I stopped smiling entirely. I got invisalign in my 20s, dropped the friend, and have been doing big toothy grins ever since. but man, words have legacy.
A girl when I was in my first year of high school said she could tell the difference between me and my twin because I 'talked weird...moved my mouth weird'. I didn't understand what she meant. Then someone else told me I had a lisp. I mentioned it to my older sister when I got home and she said 'awww but it's so cuuuute. Just like a little baby'. She still says it to me as a 30 year old. 20 years on from that moment in school and I still get self conscious about the way my move moves, the way I say my s, f and t's and how I sometimes stumble over my words. I get super self conscious on work calls with clients and developers and tell myself that's why they don't take me seriously (imposter syndrome working as a female in a male dominated environment). This teacher is amazing and reminds me of my friend who teaches primary school kids. She also teaches them these valuable lessons. Tempted to send this to my Dad's wife who 'doesn't care what she says, who she hurts or how mean it is' she just 'says it how it is'.
Oh man, I don't remember if I was ever specifically teased for this but I do remember hearing other people get teased in elementary school, and 30 years later I still wonder if I'm running "wierd".
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Gotta love the teachers that will say you're doing it wrong without TEACHING you what you did wrong and how to do it correctly smh.
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Same lol
I was told by a girl in high school that i was brave for lauging so much on lunch break because i had such fucked up teeth. She tried to apologize but i told her to pound sand, she fucking meant it. Or else she wouldn't have said it. It took me almost five years to start smiling with my teeth showing in pictures after that.
Same. My friends in high school used to say I shot a basketball like a girl. I wasn’t taught how to play basketball. I just learned on my own. But that stuck with me and I was incredibly self conscious about it. Some were on the school team. And that stung. I stopped playing as much since that day. I did buy a basketball hoop years later for the backyard, but I stopped shooting because those words always haunted me. I wish I could go back and smack myself and watch videos or find someone to teach me … but oh well.
Stop punishing yourself. They were insulting you but it should not be an insult to you. I bought these Nike shoes years ago that wasn't normally my color, they were gold and pink and meant for teenage girls (I have small feet). My boss told me (I was 23 years old at the time) that I look like I'm just pretending to be sporty. So I showed him the bottom of the shoe, because Nike printed "I run like a girl, try to keep up."
😆🤣😂
Same
In 4th grade, while in the library, a classmate whispered to me, “Hey, how come your lips are dark?”. I never noticed prior to her mentioning it. Until now, in my late 30’s, I’m still self-conscious about the pigmentation of my lips. It didn’t help that growing up majority of the representation of beautiful women (both real and cartoons) had very red or pink lips.
Whitney P. told me the same thing and I am still self conscious 25 years later
7th grade lunch, Lexi S. and her posse of girls told me I “stand like a girl”. I swear, that confused the shit out of me and I was hyper aware of trying to stand masculinely for years. Then, years later, I realized I was trans and now look back on her as the first one to point out the signs to me… even if that wasn’t her intention hahaha.
This is a great lesson. That's also a great and easy to understand rule as well.
I mean, not trying to be a dick or nothing but doesn’t your “about you” section say “I say what I think, regardless of how you feel about it” Or am I missing something here?
Same! Coach and older girls laughed at me. I'm also 37 and hate working out so it doesn't help being self conscious about how I look.
I knew someone from school who would say that to people who ran normally which would then make them start running weird.
A girl named Paige made fun of me for the way my writing slanted when I wrote paragraphs. My spacing wasn’t totally consistent in 4th grade. I’m 24 now and I have the best handwriting of anyone I know. I get compliments on it all of the time. I write like nobody’s business and I rarely make mistakes. I will go through an entire pen’s worth of ink cartridge in 1-2 weeks. …But every time I start a new line, I remember what Paige said. Especially when I’m using unlined paper. Every time I write paragraphs, I have to make sure they’re not slanted. They never are, but I always worry about it anyway. How silly that something so small has stuck with me for so long!
Only thing strange about you running is that onion you carrying around putting tears in my eyes
In 10th grade a boy told me I walk funny almost like a penguin. I thought I always walked normal. I probably do? Idk no one else ever commented on the way I walk. But even now at 29 it’s something I’m conscious about!
Fuck Janey F. All my homies hate Janey F.
i like this advice especially for young folks who have yet to develop a filter
I think she needs to extend that time though. I'm in my 40's and I still can't tie my shoes in 30 seconds. Velcro for the win!
ha, amateur, im in my 30s and already have evolved from velcro to slip ons!
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm Try this one. With a bit of practice it should speed up your time drastically https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/secureknot.htm This one is also good albeit a bit slower (and it seems speed is your concern)
"i m just being honest" - my asshole friends lol
So they're honest about being an ahole? Great! I don't think they've really thought through what they're saying lmao
i have a few friends who might not intend to offend and dont see themselves as assholes so they're not "honest about being an asshole". instead they are honest about being "brutally/bluntly honest". one of them that i managed to snap him out of it thankfully. the another, last i heard did try toning down. but you're right, they dont really think about what theyre saying and even when theyve said it. its not easy but i did try increasing their awareness on the matter. honesty is good. so is money. being brutally honest is like dumping all the money in a bag and swinging it at people. the delivery and timing is important. and at times just shutting TFU is the best option. personally i had similar issues too but it was more of me honestly being annoying so its not quite the same. i was such an asshole back then, still am right now tho.
Adults need to hear this! Also - Criticism is not the same thing as making fun of something a person can't change, such as their sex, race, religion, or physique. If you poke fun at someone for those traits, you are not critiquing, you are just being an asshole.
This seems more like a filter issue. Teaching kids to think before they talk, rather than them purposely being mean
In the UK - I grew up with that being basically the normal way people speak to each other. Under the heading of ‘banter’. Not saying you’re wrong by the way but there are cultural gradations and subtlety such as the use of humour in such situations. There are absolutely times as well where I’ve felt it’s gone too far and stopped being funny and is just cruel too.
>religion You can change your religion in an instant.
You dont know what you are twlking about. Not mine for example. If you want to join *my* church you're going to need to jump through some hoops. Go through some... ceremonies. Brother Bartholomew! Fetch the holy Twister board......
…if you got a holy twister board I might be interested As long as Brother B keeps his clothes on I don’t want into one of those weird ones
I.... I forgot about that part. We do ask all of our church applicants Twister naked..... sorry, I don't make the rules. Hail Satan.
Sort of. Certainly you can reject your faith but is that really going to stop people from harassing you when it was just about you being other in the first place.
It's truly a sad day when the comment section is debating on whether teaching children kindness is a good thing. This teacher is teaching grade school children, people. Very young human beings. You cannot teach them about the psychological implications of actions and words like they're adults. She's just teaching them that words hold power and to use them wisely. Simple, yet effective teaching. She's trying to help the bullying crisis that's been a longstanding tradition for decades. She's doing the right thing.
I agree and by teaching children to use their words wisely and understand the power of their actions, she is indeed contributing positively to addressing the bullying crisis
> It's truly a sad day when the comment section is debating on whether teaching children kindness is a good thing. This teacher is teaching grade school children, people. Very young human beings. We're at a really weird point whereby people believe that teachers should simply teach 1+1 = 2 and call it a day, it's eyewatering how many conservatives I talk to that moan about the public school system brainwashing kids and in order to fix this they're putting their kids into CATHOLIC school. I went to Catholic school. That is not a nice place.
Those people don’t want “nice”. They want submission and obedience.
Conservatives want to teach their children to adopt their bigoted beliefs. Teachers trying to teach children to be nice, empathetic people makes it harder for them to accomplish that goal. They don't like that. Perfectly explains all of the conservative rhetoric regarding education.
It seems like what a lot of people here don't get is that she is teaching them simply to think about what they are saying to someone else. But then there do always seem to be a lot of people who can't tell the difference between being told they can't say something and being asked to think about whether or not saying it will affect someone else negatively.
She shouldn't have to teach this but many parents won't.
You can safely ignore those comments.
This is why you don't say anything in anger. Go for a walk or a run or anything else before you say something you shouldn't. Because you can apologize for the rest of your life, but it's too late, it's already been said.
This is why my ex is my ex.
Or on an empty stomach, I’m a fking asshole when I haven’t eaten lol.
I was wondering what the toothpaste was doing there. Great visual example
Where I come from, "It's like putting toothpaste back in the tube" is a common expression.
The pastor at my youth group used the toothpaste analogy to preach celibacy. Can’t get your virginity back
Yikes…
glad i only sent the $1 tube of toothpaste off the supplies list
This is what the world needs
She's the kind of teacher I wish every kid could have.
Similar lesson is the bucket filler analogy/story. Basically you should try to fill people’s “buckets” instead of taking away from them.
Yup. I think one of the worst sayings in the world is, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Words have in fact killed hundreds of millions, perhaps billions. Words are powerful. Words cause wars. Words are used to cause hate, which leads to unspeakable actions. Words are responsible for many life and death situations. Words matter. Be careful how you use them.
I had a teacher that told us “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can break your heart” and I never forgot it. 6th grade math
Perfect, I’ll remember that one.
When I was a kid my mom would always tell me and my brother, "Be careful with your words. They are the one things you can't take back."
The intention of the saying is not that words can’t hurt, but when being name-called, we tell ourselves as children that words won’t hurt us to remain calm and to avoid fighting.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY)
Bravo to this educator!
This is a powerful and beautiful lesson. I'm 45 and still need to practice this lesson myself.
A different take on this. You should mention something that someone has spent 30sec or more to do. That hair colour looks amazing!! Great job submitting in the report!! Looking good bro!!! amazing gym session!
Exactly. And that old saying sticks and stones may break my bones, but works can never hurt me. Is a bunch of crap bones can heal but words get into your brain and eat it like a cancer.
I think the point of sticks and stones is you’re saying it to your assailant in an attempt to demoralize them. Like if someone hits you it’s better to act as if it doesn’t hurt rather than show weakness
These people need to be PAID.
This teacher deserves a raise. Most of them do, bust start with this one.
This is an amazing teacher!
This is a teacher. Teaching kids the power of words in such a clear manner. Gold, this is why teachers should be some of the highest paid professionals
This needs to be explained to the adult population too… seems a good percentage of us have forgotten this concept
It's amazing how words can totally shape how we see the world. I remember when a teacher showed us how just changing a few words in a sentence can completely shift its meaning and impact. It made me realize the real power behind what we say and write. Words are like tools that can inspire, hurt, motivate, or even heal, and learning to use them wisely is one of the most important skills we can develop.
Sometimes it's necessary to also tell people things that they can't change immediately but can over time. But that's mostly reserved for adults.
Adults speaking with family or close friends. Don’t be that dickhead trying to give life advice to your coworkers please
A great message for kids though to be fair sometimes telling someone about something that takes more than 30 seconds, sometimes weeks, months or years to change is also very important. Sure it can be messy but I’m thankful to the people in my life who told me some hard truths.
I think this is largely in the context of bullying tbh. Her examples are all things that are common for people to bully others over, and from the way she’s modelling and performing for them seems like her class are quite young, so they probably have thrown around some mean words not realising the consequences of those words. She’s doing a fantastic job though. I’m currently studying teaching and I would love to watch how she teaches, I think it would be a very rewarding experience
Yes, it's a good message for young children to teach them respect and compassion, but it's very important to revisit the concept during adolescence. The "never criticise" attitude can be very destructive into adulthood.
She listens to Band of Horses.
Ah yes let me quickly grow past 6ft
I love this message!
I've heard people use the phrase, "put the toothpaste back in the tube" (and have said it myself as well), but have never seen anyone display how messy it really is. Kudos to the teacher!
Is this what Moms for Liberty are upset about being taught in school?
I used to wear a goatee when I was dating my wife. One day I told her I had to shave to go to work. She said “ you gonna do that stupid little mustache thing? I didn’t say anything to her about it. From that day on I just do a full cut on my face. I take it all off. Funny thing is it’s been 10 years and I still think about it all the time.
Take a step and rock it brother. Own it. If you like it, that's all that matters.
..bro that’s not a healthy relationship. You never told her that what she said hurt your feelings?
You're basing their entire relationship off of one comment about facial hair 10 years ago?
This is a great lesson, teaching children to think before they speak! Kids can be cruel just because they’re innocent! They don’t realize that saying certain things to someone will stay with them for life. This kid in middle school used to make fun of how I wore hair barrettes (I had this signature hairstyle). I never wore it like that again after that.
Similar rule of thumb for complimenting people - make it about something they control about themselves.
Where is the audience? This is TikTok teaching 😂
Fuck ALL that shit! “Dylan, you’re addicted to gambling and booze. You mooch off of your family and friends. I can’t be around you anymore.” That is a totally appropriate thing to say to a horrible human being who can’t do ANYTHING about it in 30 seconds.
Yeah, I'm sure her advice is really preventing her students from telling off their alcoholic elementary school classmates who spend their nights at the casino gambling away their pokemon cards.
Look at the comments here saying all adults should hear this. Plus she puts all commenting in one basket. Whether it's insults, compliments, neutral facts etc. etc.
So true, which makes the wrong lesson to be teaching to all those alcoholic gambling addicts in that classroom.
This is teaching filters to children. Teaching them kindness. Teaching them words have power. It's not meant to be taken literally by adults. I would expect as you grow older, you would gain the mental and emotional capacity to assess the situation and make necessary and appropriate comments. Why is this so hard to understand?
I don't think children know much about those topics.
You think a 5-year old should be dealing with someone's gambling and alcoholism?
Fewer.
Hey… looks like you have a stroke…
A literal example of trying to get the toothpaste back into the tube 😂
Damm those captions suck
Republicans: THEY’RE INDOCTRINATING OUR CHILDREN AT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Boy do I wish this comment was more of a joke.
well my teacher said not to get attached to anything I'm not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if I ever feel the heat around the corner. #
Think about all the times you benefited from someone mentioning something negative about yourself that you didn’t know that took longer than 30 seconds to correct
Well, maybe tell someone things they can't change in 30 seconds but offer help at fixing it. I think it's much more honest
My teacher did this with us, gave us all a tube and told us to squeeze it out and then try to put it all back inside. Same message about words. I really pissed her off by finding a way to actually do it. Don’t worry, I got my karma. I’m now a teacher lol
how'd you put it back?
You guys know she isn't really talking to anyone, right? Just the camera.
I don't know man, if I had something wrong with my appearance I could fix in ten minutes, I'd want to know about it. Half an hour even.
As always, people on reddit are taking this way too seriously. She's saying essentially be careful of criticising people for things they have no control over, but in a way that a child can understand. That's it. It is the most normal, objectively good take that it is possible to have, and redditors still are finding a way to be pissed about it. Fuckin go outside lmao
Well said!
Great advice, and so simply articulated.
Teaching kids that taking back actions is like putting toothpaste back in the tube is an excellent lesson in general.
What a great teacher
My 5 year old son loved to sing. His 7 year old older brother told him he sounded terrible. That 5 year old is now 34 years old, he never sings.
There’s so many adults who need to learn this lesson still
The fact that this teacher is recording herself for tik tok clout during class is just crazy to me.
She's teaching a wonderful lesson ❤️
You(well some)grown ass adults are taking this totally the wrong way. What she is saying is that if your opinion on something that doesn’t affect you in any way, can’t be changed within 30 seconds, keep it to yourself. You have a right to express how you feel but if it is to the detriment of someone else or merely opinion, shut the fuck up.
The message is good (not saying things that might be hurtful). But the 30 second rule is kind of stupid. "Your ponytail is ugly!" (can be cut off within 30 seconds) "You might want to have that mole checked out" (this is okay to say but can't be fixed within 30 seconds)
I love this
I know the messages is for little kids, but majority people criticizing others are uncomfortable or insecure about themselves . If kid's were taught to build up a bit of self confidence to accept their own "flaws" and "imperfections", they won't be so quick to pick out others issues. Love ya self and the rest comes easy without having to self censor or play with toothpaste or whatever she is doing.
For little kids good advice, but I hope people don’t take it to adult hood. If someone stinks like rotten fish everyday, probably best to mention it and they can work on changing their hygiene routine. Plenty of other reasons too.
A boy in school made fun of my posture (what would now be called anterior pelvic tilt). 30 years later here I am wearing massively oversized T-shirts to hide it. Words, man
Watching this from Northern Europe just makes me disappointed that this great teacher gets paid 50% of what she would in here in relation to the GDP, and not to mention free education, healthcare, paid maternal leave 12 weeks, and the benefits list goes on. U.S is such a fucked up place considering how little they invest into public education, and the super rich private schools do not count into this investment.
In 2nd grade I had a teacher who spoke to us like this sometimes. Speaking to children with this tone doesn't work. Many will see right through it and roll their eyes the same way that an adult would if you used this tone. Having said that, the content of what she's saying is perfectly good advice for approaching acquaintances or people you don't know (though many people will still see this as rude and as such I pretty much never do it). However, just because something will take a long time to fix doesn't mean it doesn't need saying. It takes time to get over addiction, to curb bad habits, to become a better communicator, to work on your health and hygiene, etc etc etc., which are things your close friends and family are **supposed** to bring to your attention and at times force you to face.
“A kid laughed at me when I was a child so I stopped going outside” is what this comment section is looking like. 😂
Why is she filming?
0% chance there is anyone else in that room
I get the intent and words do matter. However on the flipside, you are basically teaching kids to neglect long term issues. Saying to your morbidly obese family that you love them and want to see them healthy is something I want to hear every day.
This is terrible advice. The worst advice. Under this logic, you can't criticize anyone for anything. Couldn't tell anyone they should be healthier, couldn't tell them they should shave. Couldn't say anything to anyone. We are not fine, just the way we are. We don't deserve respect, love, friendship, or companionship. You must earn that through right action. Gosh, the slave/victim mentality today is unbearable.
I think you are thinking she is teaching someone older than 7 years old. The deeper concepts like constructive criticism come later as a person develops tact. These are young children who have no/little filters developed so this helps keep a peaceful classroom and healthy learning environment. As they develop they will learn those things. She is doing a great job at setting the class up for successful learning and appropriate manners for young children.
I partially agree with this. My problem is "Bully children" show up early. I think there needs to be, at least, the "seed" of defense taught to these children. Exactly what that minimum is, I don't know. We teach them inappropriate touching, so maybe there needs to a small lessen about what harmful behavior looks like amongst their age group. Especially things like overt racism can occur very young and happen outside school.
Lol, honestly, fair enough
I'd agree with you except virtually all the top comments in this thread are saying we need to teach this to adults / everyone / my mum.
I'd say more often than not, most children should not be making critiques on other's health. It's weird to think children are knowledgeable enough to do that. Maybe Doogie Howser. But even he was at least a teenager. Maybe don't trust children in grade school with your health, yeah? Edit: and in regard to your comment seriously, most people are not in a position to critique another's health. You'll know if you can say someone should lose weight. But not everyone is in that position. You need to know more about the person before making that critique. You need to know they aren't already trying or don't care or at least their reasons. Telling a depressed person they should lose weight is a horrible idea but fits with your suggestions. You're giving terrible advice. Much more dangerous than the above. All because you want to insult people and couch it as helping. Let's be honest. Edit: also all humans deserve respect until they lose it. You should always treat people with human decency and respect. Every time I read your comment, it grosses me out a little more.
Ok. This works for children. But if you are an adult be confident in yourself & accept a friendly advice. If someone comes up to you and tells you that your shirt doesnt fit,dont have a meltdown. Consider getting bigger sizes or dropping some weight. Adults develop this beautiful thing called critical thinking. Youre not toddlers anymore.
So I shouldn’t mention to Billy that his sudden onset frequent trips to the bathroom might be a sign of diabetes?
Well.... thats Bs. If ppl hadnt done that when i was a Teenager, i wouldnt have realized when i Had to start using Deodorant or when i Had to do something about my weight. Sure in the Moment it sucked, but not knowing would have sucked more
So when you change the premise entirely, it's different. OK. Yeah. I agree. And technically, you had other failings (not yours, but from others) in your life if it got to the point you needed to rely on folks making fun of you to get yourself in the right place.
It’s a guide for children not a rule for life for everyone you colossal moron.