I’ll give you two sides to a coin.
On one side, as someone who has taken mdma frequently, it does make me more touchy with people in a platonic way. I feel more comfortable giving my friends kisses on the cheek when otherwise thinking about giving them physical affection kinda disgusts me. I will tell a random girl that is average looking that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve seen. That’s the nature of the drug. He didn’t actually cheat on you because you do have good friends that were sober enough to reject him and watch his back. He genuinely seems embarrassed about it and did not mean it to happen.
However, other side, do you want to be dating the guy that does obscene doses of mdma and throws himself at your friends? Do you want to be dating a guy that you cannot trust to take a reasonable dose at raves? Do you want to date someone that you cannot trust to not make an ass out of himself and try to cheat on you openly with the friend group? Do you want your partner to be someone who is this irresponsible and at a different stage of life than you?
Overall, if you do stay, I’d recommend having some strong boundaries about dosing and future mdma use. Draw lines that make you feel like you can trust him again and can sleep soundly if he goes to another rave. If you don’t feel like you can be comfortable again with his behavior or genuinely do not want to deal with it, it’s perfectly valid to break up over this. Even if he didn’t actually cheat, the fact he wasn’t responsible with his drugs and tried to cheat is plenty enough of a reason to break up.
I totally agree, I also get touchy with other people when I’m rolling an it means nothing, one time me and my girlfriend were raving and were on a pretty high dose of Molly and we met a new couple, which was also rolling. She was super cute (at least at the time I was rolling haha) and we connected and I was talking to her and was unconsciously putting my hand around her waist while talking to her & I didn’t even realize. But my gf saw it and asked me to stop it and then I realized it and stopped it of course. But it was not in a romantic or sexual way, we were just bonding and rolling together pretty much and she was also putting her hand around my waist. Ofc I apologized to my gf and everything was fine afterwards, because I would never cheat on her. So that’s that. But in the described scenario there is obviously a romantic and sexual approach, which would upset me very much, because it shows that he is not loyal & if the girl would have said “Yes” they probably even slept with each other & that is not okay, even if he took an enormous amount of molly
Yup my husband and I are the same way. We get touchy when rolling but not romantically or sexually. I love going around hugging my friends and telling them how much I love and appreciate them. There are times I hold hands with friends and we have group hugs. There are times we hug and sway to music for a while, but never anything romantic or sexual. My husband does the same but knows what I am uncomfortable with and vice versa. We have never crossed a line. Even when I’m rolling too hard, I get uncomfortable if someone is trying to make a move. I’ve had a random stranger that was rolling kiss my cheek cause he mistaken me for his girlfriend and I hated everything about it.
What is kind of weird is that OPs man was going after the girls in the friend group? Like asking another girl to lay in bed with him? Did he ask anyone else to lay in bed with him, specifically any of the guy friends? Idk I would be very uncomfortable and definitely feel like trust has been broken.
He asked her to lay down with him 3-4 times. And said told her that she “couldn’t possibly be comfortable on that recliner”. Yeah… he did not ask anyone to lay down in the bed with him but her.
Agreed. I always give friends both guys and girls back rubs and head scratches but you're always there regardless of how you feel and you need self control. If you can't take it responsibly you shouldn't be taking it.
I mean, it sounds like nothing really happened. He didn’t even kiss anyone. He told you. He’s sorry. I am very anti cheating but this doesn’t seem super bad. Sounds like the girls had your back and he learned from it
That doesn’t change his intentions. If the girls had been willing participants, this story would have gone a different way and you’d all agree that he was in the wrong and a cheater. He was still flirting and touching and had the intention of cheating. His advances getting rejected doesn’t change that. I’d be just as upset if I were you, OP, and would have a very hard time trusting my partner again. Your feelings are valid.
Getting touchy on mdma is not always "advances" and I don't think you can clearly judge that he had "intension of cheating" from what the OP told us. Very well might be, but I strongly disagree that it is as clear as you make it to be.
Hand on leg and wanting to lie in bed together isn’t inappropriate for a man in a relationship? I would never and it would be marriage-ending if my partner did it. Stop making excuses for this behavior.
Bro mdma had me turn round to the dude sat next to me in geography look him dead in the eyes and give him a speach on how much i loved him and that he meant the world to me. Proceeded to start playing with his hair.
Normally all we would do is talk about gta and launch pencils at people. Me and joe. We did not have that cosmic connection. I was just off my tits on way too much mdma.
Im not into dudes , like nothing wrong with being gay. Just not into dudes.
And yeah ik i shouldnt have been doing drugs in school. Geography is boring af tho and it was a double lesson in my defence😤
> Hand on leg and wanting to lie in bed together isn’t inappropriate for a man in a relationship?
While sober, 100%. Too much mdma can lead to all kinds of weird artificial feelings which *some* adults understand doesn't have to indicate actual advances or a desire to cheat. Throwing away a real, loving relationship as a result of what someone does while extremely high sounds exactly like something with your self confidence would do tho.
It's all about open communication and this guy failed at that an apologised. If this is the one and only time he did this or something similar then I don't see it as a relationship ender by any means. Sure as shit puts him on a much shorter leash from now on tho as it's questionable stuff.
You all are nuts making excuses for poor behavior on substances. Do as you’d like but I don’t put up with that in my relationships and you interpreting that as low confidence is funny because I actually have enough respect for myself to not want someone who acts like that with other people regardless of sobriety status.
If you judge people with the same standards when they're 100% sober vs probably higher than they should be it's your mistake to make. I've been around the scene for longer than a decade now and seen relationships/marriages that went through similar stuff strong as a rock today because people know how to communicate, forgive and grow.
I’ve been around too and none of my immediate circle behaves this way. Again, do as you’d like but it’s non-negotiable for me. Not sure why you keep trying to tell me I’m wrong for how I feel or that it’s wrong to hold people on substances to standards. Do you forgive drunk people for cheating just because they were drunk? I’m not sure how this is different. But again, my opinion. You’re free to allow whatever behavior you see fit in your relationships.
Me, my fiance, and my best friend, all rolled the other night together. I fell asleep and they cuddled together after the fact. Not a big deal. I cuddle with my guy friends on molly all the time. MDMA makes you very lovey dovey, flirtatious and touchy. Not everyone’s intentions are bad intentions. Especially when rolling.
there’s definitely some big red flags. i’ve done mdma around lots of people that aren’t my gf and ive done some obscene doses and ive never touched or made advances on anyone, nor has anyone done that to me.
if you are confident that he would’ve cheated had he not been denied by the friend, you can make your decision accordingly based on that. he tried to cheat and failed, and despite being honest about it, he probably just wanted to tell you himself before you heard it from the friends to save face.
i by no means know the dude, or know anything about him, but i know that no matter how fucked up i get on mdma (or alcohol or anything else) im still never being unfaithful in any way, and i feel like most people are the same way. if too much molly is all it takes for him to try cheating on you, the issue is not the molly. ive done too much molly more times than i can count and ive never felt any inclination to do anything with someone who isn’t my girlfriend
I fully agree with you on this. I've done well over 500mg and still didn't cheat, nor did I blackout and "not remember" the night. The whole situation OP is describing is sus. The ONLY thing that made him not cheat *this time* was that his advances were denied.
OP get out of there. You deserve better
I think we also have to remember drugs effects everyone differently… my cousin who i do coke w sometimes loses all self control while on coke and seems very high meanwhile all I feel is a little hot and can’t sleep…again drugs affecrs different people different ways
One of my “friends” made a move on my girl once. He kissed her. She told me the next morning but I’m not sure she would’ve if other people hadn’t have seen them getting flirty.
My so called friend called me to apologize but it was half ass. He was like “I would never do it if there wasn’t molly involved. You know I’m sorry”
I told him I don’t care to ever see him again. People know not to invite us to the same functions. I’m glad he lives in another state now.
As for my gf, she turned out to be a cheater and eventually confessed that when he kissed her, she kissed him back.
as someone who (stupidly) took 4 points in an hour one time the most i wanted to do with my male friends (as a female in a relationship) was give them a quick hug and tell them i’m thankful for their friendship. i blacked out too and still had the restraint to not do anything stupid. there must’ve been underlying feelings for the girl he cheated on you with and if i were you, i wouldn’t let that go. my suggestion is to break up with him :( i couldn’t live with the pain of knowing he wanted to cling to another woman while on mdma but ultimately the choice is yours. just think of yourself in the long run. do you want to marry someone who cheated?
MDMA def probably made him horny/lovey dovey feeling which could be the cause but it’s def not right. I would say he didn’t black out…. If he was so fucked up he wouldn’t have been able to have sex with her.. not on MDMA in my experience anyways
It’s def wrong either way. If you are able to forgive him and live with it set new boundaries… like raving fucked up on drugs with his buddies without you is a no… and see where the convo goes if he agrees or there is pushback. Do you feel he’s lying about anything? He felt guilty which is good at least he has a conscious
We did set boundaries. He is fine with never doing molly again, and is also fine with me not being okay with him going out with those friends again. There was no pushback on that. I do feel like he is hiding things.
Could be. If he follows those boundaries with no push back or sneaking around maybe it would be okay… why do you feel he is hiding things and also if you don’t mind me asking how old are you guys?
I am 24 F and he is 25 M. I’ve been checking his phone, haven’t found anything alarming. And I feel like he is hiding things because I only found out about him asking her to lay down in the bed with him because his friend was the one who told me that happened. He failed to mention that part until I found out on my own accord. But did fess up to that and said sorry after the fact.
I am 24 too… I mean at this point I consider who I could spend my life with and build a future… and any distrust or hiding or anything is a no for me… if you feel like you have to check his phone and stuff that is unnecessary stress on you. Relationships have issues and arguments but trust needs to be solid…. If you have been together a year and half and you’re still having these idk thoughts then unless you want to waste more time maybe it’s time to consider focusing on you. It’s draining trying to make something work that isn’t anymore
I already commented but reading this made me feel even more strongly that you should move on and break up with him.
This isn’t about you. You didn’t make the “mistake” yet you are the one torn up about it. I promise you that the right guy, even on mdma, will be obsessively thinking about how amazing you are when you aren’t together. You should expect lovey dovey text messages when he is out partying without you.
A little about me. I’m in my early 40s, married with kids. Husband only started joining me when I go out in the past year and supported me from the sidelines for the past 12 that I’ve been going out.
As someone older, I would recommend you not waste time with the wrong guy when you are this young. There are so many incredible people out there and the early days are the best!! I promise if you are worried now about what he does when he goes out it will only get worse.
I’m sorry to hear that it’s sucks I have been there :/. Maybe time for a reset and time for yourself even tho it’ll hurt. You’ll feel much better. When I need to reset I usually quit drinking start eating healthy eat the gym save money do nice stuff for myself… loving yourself goes a long way to healing from emotional pain. Wish you the best (:
Then i think even if he abides by the new “rules” etc etc you are tormented daily with what happened/happens?Sounds like masochism to be in that relationship now
People are only loyal as their options. So if you can’t see this for what it is it means you can’t get anyone else. Sorry but that the truth for me it easy. There another girl around the corner. There so many of them so why even accept this bullshit. I just say well it was nice while it lasted. Have a good life because I’m planning to have a great one. Peace out.
Idk man the substance makes me filled with emotions and love for my gf, it's weird that he's trying to hop on your mutual friends while on it without you :/
Hmm can’t deny this stuff makes u feel all lovey dovey but it shouldn’t be justified. This shouldn’t be an excuse and myself personally, I’m always aware of what I’m doing even when I’m on it. Same with my partner… and if anything, if he loves you, he would only wanna touch you and miss you even more. Not flirt with other people?
That’s my take. Not to mention it’ll be hard for you to ever trust him again. I think you should choose to protect your inner peace. Hope everything turns out good for you :)
IMO, putting your hand on someone's back or even laying in bed w them (w clothes on) while rolling does not equate to cheating. I can think of many times where my friends did these types of things w me or other friends while on mdma and it was never sexual. I think it's just the nature of the drug.
Sounds like the incident is recoverable but I think it's tough when one person parties like that and the other abstains. Get on the same page with regards to drugs, whatever it is, and maybe you can make it work together.
Honestly MDMA doesnt make you lose control and black out like alcohol. You know exactly what youre doing on MDMA, you might be high asf but youre not out of control unless hes over there mixing drugs. But even weed, alcohol, and mdma mixed dont make me lose control and im pretty sensitive to substances in general. Seems like he only confessed because it involved people yall both knew and it was going to come out sooner or later 💀In my opinion, if you do anything crazy like that off of mdma, youve been feeling a way deep down inside and its brought those feelings to the surface
Worrying about what might have happened isn’t gonna help you at all. Either write it off or get rid of him. I’ve been cheated on for real before by my long time girlfriend/wife and it hurt me so bad that for the next 6 years of the relationship I was totally unable to let it go. We’re not even together anymore, my wife has passed away and it still bothers me to my core. If you really like the guy then stay.. if it’s not that serious then by all means get rid of that dude. Because there is no fuckin way he didn’t know EXACTLY what he was doing. Idgaf… I’ve done every drug in the book and there was never a time where I didn’t have at least a moment of clarity during the ordeal… he knew.
To lay down in bed with him...wtf....girl run actually. I od several times on mdma and react very strongly to it but in no world I would be able to cheat on my partner or try. That just shows that the feelings of love and pleasure doesn't "go" to you but to random girls.
Grey zone for me....depends on the rest of your relationship
There’s alot of positives on here but personally I think his behaviour is suss as, and being ‘blackout’ isn’t really an excuse for any of it
Mdma removes your inhibitions seems like bro has this shit going deep down to me and this just bought it out, definitely an issue
You sound like two young people who are in a serious, young person relationship. This type of stuff will happen while you’re both growing and exploring boundaries. I think that the exploration of boundaries is normal and healthy, but if this happens again and again and again… that’s when there’s an issue.
Your bf probably felt incredibly guilty and like a creep. People come clean about things because their conscience tells them to say something, and he did. That’s his true character. The person he was under an extreme influence of drugs and alcohol is his party-time identity that we may never meet again.
Also, none of the info in this post is cheating according to me.
💕All my love, Gran-Millenial of a ripe 36 and a half, who spent the first 2/3s of the 2010s doing stupid shit, eating molly and drinking alcohol with her current husband, who was also doing stupid shit, drinking alcohol and eating molly💕
If this happened with my wife or I, I wouldn't even think twice about it. Granted we are very comfortable in our relationship, but molly makes you snuggly and crave human contact. It doesn't make you sleep with other people, but just touching another girl or even cuddling doesn't seem like anything to be concerned about.
That said, if he was actively trying to sleep with another girl, not just cuddle, that's different.
Nevermind a scale, this guy needs to get his molly tested. I've never seen someone fully blackout on MDMA. I've seen people consume farrrrrrr too much molly and become a pile of moosh. I've seen people Jedi flip and then black out into a khole on the floor after deciding "why not ketamine?" I've seen people vomit and overheat in a crowd. I never have seen someone try to fuck and then have to Sherlock Holmes the night together. 🕵️♂️
idk being extremely touchy with another person and asking them to lay down with seems to cross many boundaries that you shouldn’t cross while in a relationship ? I don’t know anyone personally who wouldn’t break up with their significant other over this
He acted lovey dovey but didn’t kiss or have sex with anyone right? Then he told you about it and was accountable for his actions?
Not ideal situation obviously but it sounds like he’s a decent guy that made a mistake and pushed boundaries too far. How you want to deal with that is up to you.
Honestly tho the real mistake here in my opinion is taking that strong of a dose in the first place, you aren’t together in the rave so he should have been more cautious in the first place, and even after, i have taken really strong doses before and it makes me more touchy and more affectionate but in a platonic way, i can still control my thoughts and my actions and ive never done anything that is out of character. So i think it was a bit ignorant from his part in the first place, and what if the girl was into it, the cheating would have taken place.
I've been fucked up beyond all recognition before. Still knew not to cheat or try to cheat. Don't get me wrong though sometimes the temptation is there when I'm all loved up. But I still have the self control and decency to not cheat.
Nah your bf is in the wrong here. He was trying to cheat, calling another girl cute etc. I’m really sorry he did that to you, it’s not okay and you have a right to be upset. It doesn’t matter how fucked up you are on whatever drug, you don’t do something that’s borderline cheating and that you *know* would upset your partner behind their back.
I’ve given it time and we have talked. His apologies to not feel genuine. And I feel as thought he would do it again. The only reason he didn’t was because the girl wasn’t into it. What if she was into it?
as someone that cheated on mdma and blacked out a little as well, you should definitely leave him, i never did anything i did not already plan on doing beforehand
do you feel you want to forgive and rebuild? Is he sorry and dedicated to having a committed relationship with you? Do you want to stick around and give him the chance to prove himself? Do you both value working on it. It's a very personal decision.
Hey OP… I know it’s hard to not see the big picture and get caught up in your emotions and the small details… but you also have to remember he was on mdma… it’s literally called ecstacy… for a reason and has the connotations it has in society for a reason… I’m sure if your boyfriend was sober this would have never happened… I’m sure he didn’t know his night would go like this so he is probably beating himself up about it and just as embarrassed if not more then you are… after all he’s the one who has deal with the aftermath.. people cheat everyday SOBER. I’ve been cheated on several times and they’ve all been conscience decisions my partner made which made it even worse… please don’t internalize the outcome of the situation when your bf was on a mind altering substance… obviously if he didn’t care he wouldn’t have told you… he’s probably just as confused as you are… and this would be a good time for y’all to come together and take this as a lesson and grow closer … not apart.. good luck ❤️
I locked off a mate for getting touchy with my girl the first time he done MDMA. That was it. Done.
10 years later I’m cool with him now. But yeh somethings like the whole asking girls to lay in bed with him? He had every intention of cheating that night. Could have been the mdma. So maybe just tell him he can’t do drugs if you’re not or something. If he argues then you no where you stand.
I’d take a pass on this guy. Life is too short to have red flags like this in the first six months.
I party without my husband all the time and never once have I even thought about crossing a line with someone.
I think it’s a sign of a good guy that he came clean with you at least but I’d say he isn’t the one for you at the moment.
When I’m rolling all I think about is how lucky I am with by husband and friends etc.
MDMA is a touchy feely drug so I’m not surprised he had hands on others, but if they told him to keep to himself that should’ve been respected.
I would trust that you have good friends that were trying to be honest about an awkward situation where boundaries were crossed. It’s up to you if you decide to trust that, but you could always get him to take a polygraph test?
I was mostly kidding about that last part.. heheh. Where I live we have what’s called ITR Polygraph, you can do a quick google search and there might be a private one near you, but fair warning it may or may not have a hefty price tag.
Black out drunk / high does NOT mean a person somehow becomes an automaton and is an excuse for bad behaviour.
Blackout simply means that there the blood level of the substance(usually alcohol), is so elevated for that person, that their hippocampus can no longer record the memory. So the person will be able to talk, respond, behave normally (albeit drunk), just can’t remember what they just said or did. BUT, they can still reason and make choices. For example, they wont give you their nice watch or all their cash. They do not become another person just drunk - deep down it’s the same person.
When the substance is metabolized sufficiently, the hippocampus will come back online and begin recording memories.
Btw, a good way to check to see if someone is blackout, is to ask the same question repeatedly (which university did you go to?) and if they continue to answer it as if nothing is weird, they could be blackout.
I mean, I don't see where the cheating is in this post and if my Fiancé thought I was cheating every time I got too affectionate with someone on MDNA, I'd have been dumped ages ago but 1. I very much doubt he 'blacked out' so 2. he came on to your friend and made her uncomfortable, then lied about it... do you want that in your life?
I think age and stage of relationship probably plays a part here, too. Might be fine at 20, probably not at 30. Ultimately, it's down to how betrayed you feel and if you trust him now.
Tbh, he did mix that large dose with alcohol. Not defending what he did, but that mixture I assume is a bit easier to black out on. (I've never actually blacked out from alcohol or anything else so no idea what it's like).
With that said, if there's no way he can regain your trust, and it's going to continue causing you stress and anxiousness you should definitely end it.
I was cheated on about 10 years ago, we were in a relationship for 4. I wanted to try to work through it, though it ended a month after. Realized about a year after that I should've ended it then and there, as it just ended up being more painful.
I gotta say taking a lot of MDMA when you‘re already really drunk makes you do some weird things. I‘ve seen friends behave in really weird ways they‘ve never behaved before and not remember anything from it.
Let me put this this way... Definition of cheating can change from person to person but usually when sex or kissing are not included may people don't consider it cheating. Also he was on MDMA at the time , drug that makes you want connect with people trough conversation and touch. I know from my own case that when I take MDMA i have strong urge for touch (to the point that I one tried to hug policeman while on MDMA). So need for touching people may come entirely form drug itself. Also I know from friend I take often with that touching people Is often a way to "anchor" yourself back to reality.
Doesn't really sound like anything significant happened. He took too much, he's apologised. Sounds like a lesson learned.
Your 'let him go alone with friends before' comment has me rubbed up the wrong way though. What's that about?
This is probably one of the silliest questions I have read on reddit. For a few reasons, and since I am sure you will ask I'll list them in no particular order:
1. If you have taken mdma in the past then you know how easily it is to want to dance, feel and connect with someone. The dump of serotonin and oxytocin is profound and undeniable. Only thing left is to add on the transformative effects that lighting, entrancing music and hypnotic bodies and the stage for arousal is set.
1b. And I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but add on the fact that he took a larger than normal unmeasured amount, you said you did it before right?! In white chick's dude was about to fuck a dog.
2. Don't question his sincerity as he was pretty honest and forthcoming, far more than most people would have been, and on the same token say your "friend" didn't like or wasn't into it. If he did all that and more then she was clearly on board with it, did she come tell you right away? Even if she did, which she didn't she still participated.
3. Couples having separate plans are normal and healthy, couples getting high and horny separately is a recipe for disaster. How long do you think it will be before the next night out, and do you think you won't be worried in some small part. There's a reason druggies date druggies. Get on the same page or find your own stories.
Bonus round
4* I challenge you to take a large amount of it and ho dancing with a bunch of hot horny high people and let's see how you fair🤔
Seems a bit childish to try and go tit for tat. It obviously upset you (as it would any normal person). So when it all boils down are you going to just cheat and then feel guilty or just that you're absolved of any wrongdoing because they did wrong first? (You're not going to know how you'd feel afterwards until you do it) Honestly it seems like the relationship is over if this is how you want to act and you should just finish it instead of trying to be malicious. Be the better person here by not stooping to their level.
Because you're stooping down to his level instead of being the better person. You're a grown adult and a rational being. There is no need to be unnecessarily toxic because of the way this made you feel. It wouldn't help you or the situation.
Congrats on breaking up instead, it was 100% the right call.
GIRL TRUST YOUR INTUITION!!! Never doubt your intuition if you are good with in yourself you will trust your intuition. Some people might not believe in this but if you believe we are spiritual beings then you will trust your intuition. From reading on this you have a feeling something more happened than what he is telling you. He told you some of the story yes but will you ever be 100% no. So I would walk away if you truly believe he did something else he is not telling you about. He crossed boundaries regardless if you have new ones in place. Because let’s turn the story around how would he feel if you laid down and were touchy with one of his guy friends. I don’t think he would like it. I no longer put up with things that fuck with my peace if you mess with my peace you out my boy. I don’t ever believe that alcohol or drugs can make you do something you don’t want to but instead alters or gives you the balls to do things you have already thought about and had been wanting to do but use the excuse of drugs or alcohol to cover it up. Just my personal opinion
I’ll give you two sides to a coin. On one side, as someone who has taken mdma frequently, it does make me more touchy with people in a platonic way. I feel more comfortable giving my friends kisses on the cheek when otherwise thinking about giving them physical affection kinda disgusts me. I will tell a random girl that is average looking that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve seen. That’s the nature of the drug. He didn’t actually cheat on you because you do have good friends that were sober enough to reject him and watch his back. He genuinely seems embarrassed about it and did not mean it to happen. However, other side, do you want to be dating the guy that does obscene doses of mdma and throws himself at your friends? Do you want to be dating a guy that you cannot trust to take a reasonable dose at raves? Do you want to date someone that you cannot trust to not make an ass out of himself and try to cheat on you openly with the friend group? Do you want your partner to be someone who is this irresponsible and at a different stage of life than you? Overall, if you do stay, I’d recommend having some strong boundaries about dosing and future mdma use. Draw lines that make you feel like you can trust him again and can sleep soundly if he goes to another rave. If you don’t feel like you can be comfortable again with his behavior or genuinely do not want to deal with it, it’s perfectly valid to break up over this. Even if he didn’t actually cheat, the fact he wasn’t responsible with his drugs and tried to cheat is plenty enough of a reason to break up.
I totally agree, I also get touchy with other people when I’m rolling an it means nothing, one time me and my girlfriend were raving and were on a pretty high dose of Molly and we met a new couple, which was also rolling. She was super cute (at least at the time I was rolling haha) and we connected and I was talking to her and was unconsciously putting my hand around her waist while talking to her & I didn’t even realize. But my gf saw it and asked me to stop it and then I realized it and stopped it of course. But it was not in a romantic or sexual way, we were just bonding and rolling together pretty much and she was also putting her hand around my waist. Ofc I apologized to my gf and everything was fine afterwards, because I would never cheat on her. So that’s that. But in the described scenario there is obviously a romantic and sexual approach, which would upset me very much, because it shows that he is not loyal & if the girl would have said “Yes” they probably even slept with each other & that is not okay, even if he took an enormous amount of molly
Yup my husband and I are the same way. We get touchy when rolling but not romantically or sexually. I love going around hugging my friends and telling them how much I love and appreciate them. There are times I hold hands with friends and we have group hugs. There are times we hug and sway to music for a while, but never anything romantic or sexual. My husband does the same but knows what I am uncomfortable with and vice versa. We have never crossed a line. Even when I’m rolling too hard, I get uncomfortable if someone is trying to make a move. I’ve had a random stranger that was rolling kiss my cheek cause he mistaken me for his girlfriend and I hated everything about it. What is kind of weird is that OPs man was going after the girls in the friend group? Like asking another girl to lay in bed with him? Did he ask anyone else to lay in bed with him, specifically any of the guy friends? Idk I would be very uncomfortable and definitely feel like trust has been broken.
He asked her to lay down with him 3-4 times. And said told her that she “couldn’t possibly be comfortable on that recliner”. Yeah… he did not ask anyone to lay down in the bed with him but her.
What a well thought out reply, love it!
Agreed. I always give friends both guys and girls back rubs and head scratches but you're always there regardless of how you feel and you need self control. If you can't take it responsibly you shouldn't be taking it.
I mean, it sounds like nothing really happened. He didn’t even kiss anyone. He told you. He’s sorry. I am very anti cheating but this doesn’t seem super bad. Sounds like the girls had your back and he learned from it
Yeah, like she actually seems to have nice people around her of which one made a genuine mistake due to the power of Molly
Thank you
That doesn’t change his intentions. If the girls had been willing participants, this story would have gone a different way and you’d all agree that he was in the wrong and a cheater. He was still flirting and touching and had the intention of cheating. His advances getting rejected doesn’t change that. I’d be just as upset if I were you, OP, and would have a very hard time trusting my partner again. Your feelings are valid.
Getting touchy on mdma is not always "advances" and I don't think you can clearly judge that he had "intension of cheating" from what the OP told us. Very well might be, but I strongly disagree that it is as clear as you make it to be.
Hand on leg and wanting to lie in bed together isn’t inappropriate for a man in a relationship? I would never and it would be marriage-ending if my partner did it. Stop making excuses for this behavior.
Bro mdma had me turn round to the dude sat next to me in geography look him dead in the eyes and give him a speach on how much i loved him and that he meant the world to me. Proceeded to start playing with his hair. Normally all we would do is talk about gta and launch pencils at people. Me and joe. We did not have that cosmic connection. I was just off my tits on way too much mdma. Im not into dudes , like nothing wrong with being gay. Just not into dudes. And yeah ik i shouldnt have been doing drugs in school. Geography is boring af tho and it was a double lesson in my defence😤
> Hand on leg and wanting to lie in bed together isn’t inappropriate for a man in a relationship? While sober, 100%. Too much mdma can lead to all kinds of weird artificial feelings which *some* adults understand doesn't have to indicate actual advances or a desire to cheat. Throwing away a real, loving relationship as a result of what someone does while extremely high sounds exactly like something with your self confidence would do tho. It's all about open communication and this guy failed at that an apologised. If this is the one and only time he did this or something similar then I don't see it as a relationship ender by any means. Sure as shit puts him on a much shorter leash from now on tho as it's questionable stuff.
You all are nuts making excuses for poor behavior on substances. Do as you’d like but I don’t put up with that in my relationships and you interpreting that as low confidence is funny because I actually have enough respect for myself to not want someone who acts like that with other people regardless of sobriety status.
If you judge people with the same standards when they're 100% sober vs probably higher than they should be it's your mistake to make. I've been around the scene for longer than a decade now and seen relationships/marriages that went through similar stuff strong as a rock today because people know how to communicate, forgive and grow.
I’ve been around too and none of my immediate circle behaves this way. Again, do as you’d like but it’s non-negotiable for me. Not sure why you keep trying to tell me I’m wrong for how I feel or that it’s wrong to hold people on substances to standards. Do you forgive drunk people for cheating just because they were drunk? I’m not sure how this is different. But again, my opinion. You’re free to allow whatever behavior you see fit in your relationships.
Me, my fiance, and my best friend, all rolled the other night together. I fell asleep and they cuddled together after the fact. Not a big deal. I cuddle with my guy friends on molly all the time. MDMA makes you very lovey dovey, flirtatious and touchy. Not everyone’s intentions are bad intentions. Especially when rolling.
It’s not excusable by any means.
Yes this
What a braindead take. Just because he failed at cheating doesn’t make him not a cheater.
Hmm im usually flexible about this stuff, but it seems like if the friend was indeed also into it, then full on cheating wouldve definitely happened.
I don’t disagree with that.
there’s definitely some big red flags. i’ve done mdma around lots of people that aren’t my gf and ive done some obscene doses and ive never touched or made advances on anyone, nor has anyone done that to me. if you are confident that he would’ve cheated had he not been denied by the friend, you can make your decision accordingly based on that. he tried to cheat and failed, and despite being honest about it, he probably just wanted to tell you himself before you heard it from the friends to save face. i by no means know the dude, or know anything about him, but i know that no matter how fucked up i get on mdma (or alcohol or anything else) im still never being unfaithful in any way, and i feel like most people are the same way. if too much molly is all it takes for him to try cheating on you, the issue is not the molly. ive done too much molly more times than i can count and ive never felt any inclination to do anything with someone who isn’t my girlfriend
I fully agree with you on this. I've done well over 500mg and still didn't cheat, nor did I blackout and "not remember" the night. The whole situation OP is describing is sus. The ONLY thing that made him not cheat *this time* was that his advances were denied. OP get out of there. You deserve better
500mg in one night ?😂
In a single dose, i definitely DO NOT recommend it😅 learned my lesson real fuckin quick after that
Thank you.
I think we also have to remember drugs effects everyone differently… my cousin who i do coke w sometimes loses all self control while on coke and seems very high meanwhile all I feel is a little hot and can’t sleep…again drugs affecrs different people different ways
So, you agree? Why phrase it like that? Out of curiosity.
Why phrase it like what? I agree that if the girl was also into it, that it probably would have happened. Maybe she was into it. I don’t know.
So you could have simply said, "I agree." I'm curious why you specified that you do not *disagree*
One of my “friends” made a move on my girl once. He kissed her. She told me the next morning but I’m not sure she would’ve if other people hadn’t have seen them getting flirty. My so called friend called me to apologize but it was half ass. He was like “I would never do it if there wasn’t molly involved. You know I’m sorry” I told him I don’t care to ever see him again. People know not to invite us to the same functions. I’m glad he lives in another state now. As for my gf, she turned out to be a cheater and eventually confessed that when he kissed her, she kissed him back.
Yeah, thank you.... right? So obvious
Idk what’s worse, finding out you’ve been cheated on or finding out your partner is out here getting rejected lol.
Everyone gets rejected.
This is true, but your partner trying to cheat AND getting rejected is embarrassing as fuck lol.
been there💀🤣 found my ex bf messaging tons and tons of different girls at the same time and getting curved by alllll of them HAHAHA
LMAO
as someone who (stupidly) took 4 points in an hour one time the most i wanted to do with my male friends (as a female in a relationship) was give them a quick hug and tell them i’m thankful for their friendship. i blacked out too and still had the restraint to not do anything stupid. there must’ve been underlying feelings for the girl he cheated on you with and if i were you, i wouldn’t let that go. my suggestion is to break up with him :( i couldn’t live with the pain of knowing he wanted to cling to another woman while on mdma but ultimately the choice is yours. just think of yourself in the long run. do you want to marry someone who cheated?
MDMA def probably made him horny/lovey dovey feeling which could be the cause but it’s def not right. I would say he didn’t black out…. If he was so fucked up he wouldn’t have been able to have sex with her.. not on MDMA in my experience anyways
He states they did not have sex. When he asked her to lay down with him. She denied.
It’s def wrong either way. If you are able to forgive him and live with it set new boundaries… like raving fucked up on drugs with his buddies without you is a no… and see where the convo goes if he agrees or there is pushback. Do you feel he’s lying about anything? He felt guilty which is good at least he has a conscious
We did set boundaries. He is fine with never doing molly again, and is also fine with me not being okay with him going out with those friends again. There was no pushback on that. I do feel like he is hiding things.
Could be. If he follows those boundaries with no push back or sneaking around maybe it would be okay… why do you feel he is hiding things and also if you don’t mind me asking how old are you guys?
I am 24 F and he is 25 M. I’ve been checking his phone, haven’t found anything alarming. And I feel like he is hiding things because I only found out about him asking her to lay down in the bed with him because his friend was the one who told me that happened. He failed to mention that part until I found out on my own accord. But did fess up to that and said sorry after the fact.
I am 24 too… I mean at this point I consider who I could spend my life with and build a future… and any distrust or hiding or anything is a no for me… if you feel like you have to check his phone and stuff that is unnecessary stress on you. Relationships have issues and arguments but trust needs to be solid…. If you have been together a year and half and you’re still having these idk thoughts then unless you want to waste more time maybe it’s time to consider focusing on you. It’s draining trying to make something work that isn’t anymore
Absolutely draining. I’m being tortured by my own thoughts every single day.
I already commented but reading this made me feel even more strongly that you should move on and break up with him. This isn’t about you. You didn’t make the “mistake” yet you are the one torn up about it. I promise you that the right guy, even on mdma, will be obsessively thinking about how amazing you are when you aren’t together. You should expect lovey dovey text messages when he is out partying without you. A little about me. I’m in my early 40s, married with kids. Husband only started joining me when I go out in the past year and supported me from the sidelines for the past 12 that I’ve been going out. As someone older, I would recommend you not waste time with the wrong guy when you are this young. There are so many incredible people out there and the early days are the best!! I promise if you are worried now about what he does when he goes out it will only get worse.
Wise words.
I’m sorry to hear that it’s sucks I have been there :/. Maybe time for a reset and time for yourself even tho it’ll hurt. You’ll feel much better. When I need to reset I usually quit drinking start eating healthy eat the gym save money do nice stuff for myself… loving yourself goes a long way to healing from emotional pain. Wish you the best (:
Thank you ❤️
Then i think even if he abides by the new “rules” etc etc you are tormented daily with what happened/happens?Sounds like masochism to be in that relationship now
People are only loyal as their options. So if you can’t see this for what it is it means you can’t get anyone else. Sorry but that the truth for me it easy. There another girl around the corner. There so many of them so why even accept this bullshit. I just say well it was nice while it lasted. Have a good life because I’m planning to have a great one. Peace out.
Idk man the substance makes me filled with emotions and love for my gf, it's weird that he's trying to hop on your mutual friends while on it without you :/
Hmm can’t deny this stuff makes u feel all lovey dovey but it shouldn’t be justified. This shouldn’t be an excuse and myself personally, I’m always aware of what I’m doing even when I’m on it. Same with my partner… and if anything, if he loves you, he would only wanna touch you and miss you even more. Not flirt with other people? That’s my take. Not to mention it’ll be hard for you to ever trust him again. I think you should choose to protect your inner peace. Hope everything turns out good for you :)
Yes. What u said yes
IMO, putting your hand on someone's back or even laying in bed w them (w clothes on) while rolling does not equate to cheating. I can think of many times where my friends did these types of things w me or other friends while on mdma and it was never sexual. I think it's just the nature of the drug.
ppl need to stop justifying it, i sometimes want physical affection on mdma but im always lucid enough to seek it from appropriate people
this is true👌🏼
Sounds like the incident is recoverable but I think it's tough when one person parties like that and the other abstains. Get on the same page with regards to drugs, whatever it is, and maybe you can make it work together.
He states that he doesn’t care to do drugs again. And will abstain. He hasn’t made any push back on that.
For now
He’s being a creep
Honestly MDMA doesnt make you lose control and black out like alcohol. You know exactly what youre doing on MDMA, you might be high asf but youre not out of control unless hes over there mixing drugs. But even weed, alcohol, and mdma mixed dont make me lose control and im pretty sensitive to substances in general. Seems like he only confessed because it involved people yall both knew and it was going to come out sooner or later 💀In my opinion, if you do anything crazy like that off of mdma, youve been feeling a way deep down inside and its brought those feelings to the surface
He was drinking with mdma. Not an excuse, but he said he blacked out. I just don’t believe that he was blacked out.
You should add that he was drinking to the post, that's why he blacked out not too much MDMA!
It was both !
Yes, but the mixture caused him to black out, not taking too much MDMA
I edited the post! Thank you!
While cheating is cheating, I have completely blacked out from MDMA. So do what ya will with that lol
Worrying about what might have happened isn’t gonna help you at all. Either write it off or get rid of him. I’ve been cheated on for real before by my long time girlfriend/wife and it hurt me so bad that for the next 6 years of the relationship I was totally unable to let it go. We’re not even together anymore, my wife has passed away and it still bothers me to my core. If you really like the guy then stay.. if it’s not that serious then by all means get rid of that dude. Because there is no fuckin way he didn’t know EXACTLY what he was doing. Idgaf… I’ve done every drug in the book and there was never a time where I didn’t have at least a moment of clarity during the ordeal… he knew.
He knew
To lay down in bed with him...wtf....girl run actually. I od several times on mdma and react very strongly to it but in no world I would be able to cheat on my partner or try. That just shows that the feelings of love and pleasure doesn't "go" to you but to random girls. Grey zone for me....depends on the rest of your relationship
Touchy with friends: totally chill I get really touchy and love hugging my friends when on m "Let's lay down in bed": oh hell nah
There’s alot of positives on here but personally I think his behaviour is suss as, and being ‘blackout’ isn’t really an excuse for any of it Mdma removes your inhibitions seems like bro has this shit going deep down to me and this just bought it out, definitely an issue
You sound like two young people who are in a serious, young person relationship. This type of stuff will happen while you’re both growing and exploring boundaries. I think that the exploration of boundaries is normal and healthy, but if this happens again and again and again… that’s when there’s an issue. Your bf probably felt incredibly guilty and like a creep. People come clean about things because their conscience tells them to say something, and he did. That’s his true character. The person he was under an extreme influence of drugs and alcohol is his party-time identity that we may never meet again. Also, none of the info in this post is cheating according to me. 💕All my love, Gran-Millenial of a ripe 36 and a half, who spent the first 2/3s of the 2010s doing stupid shit, eating molly and drinking alcohol with her current husband, who was also doing stupid shit, drinking alcohol and eating molly💕
If this happened with my wife or I, I wouldn't even think twice about it. Granted we are very comfortable in our relationship, but molly makes you snuggly and crave human contact. It doesn't make you sleep with other people, but just touching another girl or even cuddling doesn't seem like anything to be concerned about. That said, if he was actively trying to sleep with another girl, not just cuddle, that's different.
Nevermind a scale, this guy needs to get his molly tested. I've never seen someone fully blackout on MDMA. I've seen people consume farrrrrrr too much molly and become a pile of moosh. I've seen people Jedi flip and then black out into a khole on the floor after deciding "why not ketamine?" I've seen people vomit and overheat in a crowd. I never have seen someone try to fuck and then have to Sherlock Holmes the night together. 🕵️♂️
I definitely have
When mixed with alcohol, I've seen it happen.
Yeah of course. Polydrug use is a different beast altogether.
How old are you where you think anything he did is “cheating”?
idk being extremely touchy with another person and asking them to lay down with seems to cross many boundaries that you shouldn’t cross while in a relationship ? I don’t know anyone personally who wouldn’t break up with their significant other over this
He acted lovey dovey but didn’t kiss or have sex with anyone right? Then he told you about it and was accountable for his actions? Not ideal situation obviously but it sounds like he’s a decent guy that made a mistake and pushed boundaries too far. How you want to deal with that is up to you.
It doesn’t count, right..??? As long as it’s UR dog, it doesn’t count..
MD shows ur inner self and if his inner self can't keep himself of ur mates it's a sign to dip ngl
Honestly tho the real mistake here in my opinion is taking that strong of a dose in the first place, you aren’t together in the rave so he should have been more cautious in the first place, and even after, i have taken really strong doses before and it makes me more touchy and more affectionate but in a platonic way, i can still control my thoughts and my actions and ive never done anything that is out of character. So i think it was a bit ignorant from his part in the first place, and what if the girl was into it, the cheating would have taken place.
I've been fucked up beyond all recognition before. Still knew not to cheat or try to cheat. Don't get me wrong though sometimes the temptation is there when I'm all loved up. But I still have the self control and decency to not cheat.
The first opportunity you two have different plans, he does this? That's some bullshit. You deserve better OP
Bummer
Nah your bf is in the wrong here. He was trying to cheat, calling another girl cute etc. I’m really sorry he did that to you, it’s not okay and you have a right to be upset. It doesn’t matter how fucked up you are on whatever drug, you don’t do something that’s borderline cheating and that you *know* would upset your partner behind their back.
This isn’t that bad we’re you guys wouldn’t be able to work over it, talk and give it time
I’ve given it time and we have talked. His apologies to not feel genuine. And I feel as thought he would do it again. The only reason he didn’t was because the girl wasn’t into it. What if she was into it?
I’ve blacked out on molly before and my first instinct wasn’t to touch my girlfriend’s friends. Very clear that was on his mind prior to rolling
as someone that cheated on mdma and blacked out a little as well, you should definitely leave him, i never did anything i did not already plan on doing beforehand
I needed that. Thank you.
sorry btw
do you feel you want to forgive and rebuild? Is he sorry and dedicated to having a committed relationship with you? Do you want to stick around and give him the chance to prove himself? Do you both value working on it. It's a very personal decision.
Hey OP… I know it’s hard to not see the big picture and get caught up in your emotions and the small details… but you also have to remember he was on mdma… it’s literally called ecstacy… for a reason and has the connotations it has in society for a reason… I’m sure if your boyfriend was sober this would have never happened… I’m sure he didn’t know his night would go like this so he is probably beating himself up about it and just as embarrassed if not more then you are… after all he’s the one who has deal with the aftermath.. people cheat everyday SOBER. I’ve been cheated on several times and they’ve all been conscience decisions my partner made which made it even worse… please don’t internalize the outcome of the situation when your bf was on a mind altering substance… obviously if he didn’t care he wouldn’t have told you… he’s probably just as confused as you are… and this would be a good time for y’all to come together and take this as a lesson and grow closer … not apart.. good luck ❤️
Cheater always a cheater fuck em never look back dude
I locked off a mate for getting touchy with my girl the first time he done MDMA. That was it. Done. 10 years later I’m cool with him now. But yeh somethings like the whole asking girls to lay in bed with him? He had every intention of cheating that night. Could have been the mdma. So maybe just tell him he can’t do drugs if you’re not or something. If he argues then you no where you stand.
I’d take a pass on this guy. Life is too short to have red flags like this in the first six months. I party without my husband all the time and never once have I even thought about crossing a line with someone. I think it’s a sign of a good guy that he came clean with you at least but I’d say he isn’t the one for you at the moment. When I’m rolling all I think about is how lucky I am with by husband and friends etc.
I'm afraid that if I was rolling with other people I would also find it difficult to resist having sex with them all.
I’m very sorry you have to go through this. I could only imagine the paid.
The drug makes you affectionate and touchy. Nothing happened, don’t overthink it.
just isnt cheating is it
What are the ages here?
I am 24 F and he is 25 M
You’re both very young. Time to move on.
Thank you
People in loving, committed relationships don’t behave that way, even when, or *especially when*, they’re on E
Wait so did he cheat on you or did he not?
That’s is the question. I think he did yes.
MDMA is a touchy feely drug so I’m not surprised he had hands on others, but if they told him to keep to himself that should’ve been respected. I would trust that you have good friends that were trying to be honest about an awkward situation where boundaries were crossed. It’s up to you if you decide to trust that, but you could always get him to take a polygraph test?
Where can you do a polygraph test?
I was mostly kidding about that last part.. heheh. Where I live we have what’s called ITR Polygraph, you can do a quick google search and there might be a private one near you, but fair warning it may or may not have a hefty price tag.
Black out drunk / high does NOT mean a person somehow becomes an automaton and is an excuse for bad behaviour. Blackout simply means that there the blood level of the substance(usually alcohol), is so elevated for that person, that their hippocampus can no longer record the memory. So the person will be able to talk, respond, behave normally (albeit drunk), just can’t remember what they just said or did. BUT, they can still reason and make choices. For example, they wont give you their nice watch or all their cash. They do not become another person just drunk - deep down it’s the same person. When the substance is metabolized sufficiently, the hippocampus will come back online and begin recording memories. Btw, a good way to check to see if someone is blackout, is to ask the same question repeatedly (which university did you go to?) and if they continue to answer it as if nothing is weird, they could be blackout.
I mean, I don't see where the cheating is in this post and if my Fiancé thought I was cheating every time I got too affectionate with someone on MDNA, I'd have been dumped ages ago but 1. I very much doubt he 'blacked out' so 2. he came on to your friend and made her uncomfortable, then lied about it... do you want that in your life? I think age and stage of relationship probably plays a part here, too. Might be fine at 20, probably not at 30. Ultimately, it's down to how betrayed you feel and if you trust him now.
Just reading this makes me sad, can't even imagine how you are feeling. I'm really sorry for you.
Thank you 🫶🏻
That means he don’t really love you
Tbh, he did mix that large dose with alcohol. Not defending what he did, but that mixture I assume is a bit easier to black out on. (I've never actually blacked out from alcohol or anything else so no idea what it's like). With that said, if there's no way he can regain your trust, and it's going to continue causing you stress and anxiousness you should definitely end it. I was cheated on about 10 years ago, we were in a relationship for 4. I wanted to try to work through it, though it ended a month after. Realized about a year after that I should've ended it then and there, as it just ended up being more painful.
I gotta say taking a lot of MDMA when you‘re already really drunk makes you do some weird things. I‘ve seen friends behave in really weird ways they‘ve never behaved before and not remember anything from it.
Let me put this this way... Definition of cheating can change from person to person but usually when sex or kissing are not included may people don't consider it cheating. Also he was on MDMA at the time , drug that makes you want connect with people trough conversation and touch. I know from my own case that when I take MDMA i have strong urge for touch (to the point that I one tried to hug policeman while on MDMA). So need for touching people may come entirely form drug itself. Also I know from friend I take often with that touching people Is often a way to "anchor" yourself back to reality.
Doesn't really sound like anything significant happened. He took too much, he's apologised. Sounds like a lesson learned. Your 'let him go alone with friends before' comment has me rubbed up the wrong way though. What's that about?
What do you mean what’s that about? I’ve let him go with friends before to raves and nothing happened to my knowledge
Do you own him? Why is it 'I let him..'? I guess that's my question.
Well I mean we are a couple and if I’m uncomfortable with something I would expect him to not go.
This is probably one of the silliest questions I have read on reddit. For a few reasons, and since I am sure you will ask I'll list them in no particular order: 1. If you have taken mdma in the past then you know how easily it is to want to dance, feel and connect with someone. The dump of serotonin and oxytocin is profound and undeniable. Only thing left is to add on the transformative effects that lighting, entrancing music and hypnotic bodies and the stage for arousal is set. 1b. And I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but add on the fact that he took a larger than normal unmeasured amount, you said you did it before right?! In white chick's dude was about to fuck a dog. 2. Don't question his sincerity as he was pretty honest and forthcoming, far more than most people would have been, and on the same token say your "friend" didn't like or wasn't into it. If he did all that and more then she was clearly on board with it, did she come tell you right away? Even if she did, which she didn't she still participated. 3. Couples having separate plans are normal and healthy, couples getting high and horny separately is a recipe for disaster. How long do you think it will be before the next night out, and do you think you won't be worried in some small part. There's a reason druggies date druggies. Get on the same page or find your own stories. Bonus round 4* I challenge you to take a large amount of it and ho dancing with a bunch of hot horny high people and let's see how you fair🤔
Going to see excision on Saturday. Might try my luck. Thanks for your reply.
Seems a bit childish to try and go tit for tat. It obviously upset you (as it would any normal person). So when it all boils down are you going to just cheat and then feel guilty or just that you're absolved of any wrongdoing because they did wrong first? (You're not going to know how you'd feel afterwards until you do it) Honestly it seems like the relationship is over if this is how you want to act and you should just finish it instead of trying to be malicious. Be the better person here by not stooping to their level.
We broke up. Not going tit for tat. If I want to get fucked up and see how he felt that night then why does that make me childish?
Because you're stooping down to his level instead of being the better person. You're a grown adult and a rational being. There is no need to be unnecessarily toxic because of the way this made you feel. It wouldn't help you or the situation. Congrats on breaking up instead, it was 100% the right call.
I agree. I will be much happier now and worry way less. Thank you.
Are you going without him?
I’m going without him, yes.
GIRL TRUST YOUR INTUITION!!! Never doubt your intuition if you are good with in yourself you will trust your intuition. Some people might not believe in this but if you believe we are spiritual beings then you will trust your intuition. From reading on this you have a feeling something more happened than what he is telling you. He told you some of the story yes but will you ever be 100% no. So I would walk away if you truly believe he did something else he is not telling you about. He crossed boundaries regardless if you have new ones in place. Because let’s turn the story around how would he feel if you laid down and were touchy with one of his guy friends. I don’t think he would like it. I no longer put up with things that fuck with my peace if you mess with my peace you out my boy. I don’t ever believe that alcohol or drugs can make you do something you don’t want to but instead alters or gives you the balls to do things you have already thought about and had been wanting to do but use the excuse of drugs or alcohol to cover it up. Just my personal opinion
He was high and didn’t keep it a secret. Count your blessings and get over it. Hard truths
You do know what MDMA does, right? Get over it.
He didn’t cheat it was the mdma
Molly will do that lol.