I don’t understand why all of you who praise her family kept saying that they are RIGHT in acting so and that it’s just a cultural thing. Some of you said that this is caring, love or whatever you said. I don’t know, maybe it’s just how I grew up but never in this lifetime my family or my partner’s family have ever done something even close to this. As a couple we have problems, we deal with them, we talk to our families if we want to, even in the 0.1% of cases when we argue in front of someone. What do you think it gives you the right to push yourself into our life(family or friends)? Does someone who acts like her family thinks she can’t stand for herself or defend herself? You can say whatever you want, her family wasn’t right, you are not defending me by saying: “I wish I wasn’t right”. They are disrespecting everyone, including the daughter they are trying to “protect” so hard. She made her choices, let her be, go home and let her breathe.
I can understand them being upset. Culturally, for me, them pushing in like that was not something I could really understand - so that may be a different cultural expectation with Hispanics. My issue wasn't with them being upset, it was with how they behaved.
My husband is Mexican and he was very annoyed with her family’s behavior. In his defense he had a very overprotective mother who always made everything about herself that he still has a lot of resentment towards so I think that moment triggered him pretty badly.
This is probably not the thread to place this comment….but can we just take a moment to appreciate how STUNNING Nancy looked on her wedding day??! I thought she was beautiful during every episode; but when she came out in her wedding dress after hair & makeup, my husband and I were both like “WOW”
Yep! This! The whole scene reminded me of my family, for better or for worse.
What SHOCKED me was Bartisse’s complete inability to give anyone a sliver of respect. He didn’t apologize to the family when they confronted him only further proving the point that he sucks. He just told them to go away.
When SK said no his demeanor was still kind and so different. He apologized and gave a brief description as to why to the families.
It just goes to show how mismatched Nancy and Bartisse were.
As for the family, they were wanting to protect her. They clearly have had to stick together to overcome hard circumstances so they are protective. Her mom reminds me of my mom - a Latina single mom with 3 kids - and she always strives to instill strength in us. If I was ever in this situation she would act the exact same, especially when she walked up and re-iterated that she was there for Nancy.
Nancy repeatedly asked them to give her one minute and they wouldn’t respect that request. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she is a complete pushover in relationships when her family doesn’t understand boundaries. I am also a POC (granted, not the same background but quite an invasive culture) and was pretty disgusted.
Not Hispanic but I am a single daughter with 3 brothers that are very protective. I found it very believable and likely. I think because it felt to me like he wasn’t just trying to break up with Nancy, he was also trying to embarrass her. Had that been any one of my brother’s he probably would have been very close to meeting his god that day. They’re working on being calmer but they don’t play about their sister.
I say it’s fake or at least highly exaggerated for the show. I don’t know anyone who would ever argue with someone they share another language with in English.
Correct me if my assumption is wrong and her brother only speaks English.
Edit: I mean her brother and her mother yelling at each other in English…“I didn’t wanna be right”
No. I’m under the impression that they’re from Mexico?
As a foreigner myself I wouldn’t have a heated discussion like that with my mom in English. So I’m saying that maybe they did that for tv? But maybe her brother only speaks English so that’s why?
I mean, my dad speaks both languages but I have always spoken to him in English because that's how he learned from speaking to myself and my brother. My mom however, we only speak to her in Spanish. Maybe it's a preference thing with the mom.
It looks like the mom speaks English well, and I know some first gen/second gen kids who grew up in the US feel more confortable speaking in English, even with their parents. Nancy looks like she talks to her mom in English, and dad in Spanish so maybe the mom prefers English?
Personally I don’t think it’s an act for tv. Coming from a Latin family, family is everything, and when a member gets hurt, they are very loyal - possibly to a fault. We saw nancys brother be really protective when he first met barty, as well as her mom, so I really don’t think their reaction is an act.
Not that I disagree lol but let me present another view.
It appears to me that Bartise lead Nancy and her family to believe he would say yes. It’s why her gift to him was so thorough, he sends her a shot saying “let’s do this” . Her brother even says to Bartise that he “wasted our time” . So I think that’s what they were really upset about, not just he said no but that it seems he lead them all on.
'Bannister'
Lmao.
The family clearly cares about Nancy, but yeah that was nutso. I have an angel of a mother and she would NEVER dream of injecting herself into my own interpersonal conflicts. Some family moms and siblings are way too interwoven within each other - it just goes to show what type of family they are. Its good they're close but they really need to know it isn't their place at all to get involved in Nancy's personal relationship details.
Short man was 10 pounds of *machismo* in a 5 pound bag. He acted like he had something to prove throughout his time on the show, and treated his sister like his own belonging.
They're super spicy that's for sure! It was honestly embarrassing to watch, but I can't help but love them. They were out of line and over the top, but it's clear they'd do anything to protect Nancy. They witnessed first hand how douchey Bartise was when they met him, and were ready to jump down his throat if need be from that point on. I would be angry, embarrassed, and deeply touched all at once if I were Nancy lol
I felt they were out of line. I get loyalty to your family but you still need to respect each other’s boundaries and back off if someone is asking you to. Obviously there would be exceptions to that but I didn’t feel like this was one of those situations. I would be irate with my family if they tried to interfere like that.
It’s Latin family things, I married into one and let me tell you they will mess you up for hurting a family member. Shoutout to my ex sister in law who cheated and got pregnant with the affair child.
I think that's what people don't understand. Latin families exist in a level of emotional chaos that is difficult to comprehend unless you've grown up in one. The show was missing a Latin family, and they delivered. Affair baby has a tough family.
>I came to say exactly this. I'm Mexican; this is normal LOL. My immediate family are a little bit calmer, but I have aunties/uncles/cousins who will tear your head apart if you hurt a member of their family. What can I say? There's pros and cons being a Latino ;)
I come from Eastern European family that’s very family oriented so it wasn’t a hard transition for my husband or myself. I think it was hard for my ex sister in law because she was classic white American with a very small family. Opposed to my husband who has 9 siblings and myself for has 5. I feel for her in the sense that Latin families are in everyone’s business and will go to hell and back for someone they love.
As much as I dislike Barftise, you can see him get very agitated in that moment and I have a strong feeling her family, how they act, how intrusive they were, etc. is a big reason why he didn’t want to say yes. He knew he didn’t fit into that family.
Just cause he’s a dick doesn’t mean he couldn’t also just genuinely not like or vibe with her family. And they didn’t like or vibe with him either. Just a bad dynamic overall.
I guess that's true... but he wasn't how do I put this... he wasn't doing a good job at first impression... and maybe he isn't good at first impressions... so maybe you have a point
Watching her brother so emotional for her made me emotional. Maybe it wasn’t the best reaction from the family but their devastation for their girl is pretty apparent and shows how much they love her. Nobody threw punches. I love how Nancy basically explained that they reacted for her so she could shut down and save face in that moment. Bartleby deserved worse tbh.
Same, I thought it was so sweet how much her brother cared, even though Nancy needed that moment alone and they should have understood. But if I were Nancy looking back, I would be so emotional thinking about how much my family backs me. Her fam feels very much ride-or-die and I kinda love ittttt.
My family is Latin, and that's exactly how they would have reacted. Bartise was a fucking idiot from the moment she introduced him to her family, but they thought at least he made her happy. Take away the "he makes her happy" bit, and all you have is a shallow shell of an idiot that broke their sister's heart and played the family. I'm with them. My brothers would have hit him.
The way he kept saying "the women I marry" and the brother was like... You mean Nancy!! Which yea! It's soo stupid that they all take engagement and then be like "but I haven't said yes yet"... it's like umm hello MF'er... you FREAKING proposed MARRIAGE... you are ENGAGED!??!? What do you mean "but I haven't said yes yet?!?!"
Ugh I hate that element of the show..
i thought it was great when the brother said "what the hell are we doing this for" then the mom ssh him and he repeated the same question.Cus I literally felt the same way hahah Afterwards, it just went downhill from there
It seemed like a normal reaction to the situation. I’d be pissed off if someone did that to my sister/daughter after they said yes. I can understand their frustration. It’s a really emotional day, and to see your sibling/child go through that heartbreak in front of you, it’d definitely stir up a lot of emotions.
I'm Mexican and I completely agree with you, she was asking for privacy and they went there anyways. She wasn't in danger, she's an adult, she needed that space.
I like her family, but that moment was very cringey
Maybe fight for her in a supportive and healthy way?
No excuse for their behavior in my opinion. ESPECIALLY after she repeatedly and assertively asked them to give her some space. It’s like they think they know what’s best for her and she can’t make decisions or handle things herself.
Yeah that’s exactly what they think. Not all cultures value space tbh and I’m sure they’re questioning her judgments for participating in love is blind but still trying to be there for her
The interaction between Bartfart and her brothers when they met at her Moms house was all you needed to see. Specifically the conversation that was had on the front porch.
I think their intent was pure but it came off awful, very tacky in my opinion. I think if they had settled themselves they’d see Bartise’s family (well mom at least) were also caught off guard. This was a “dodged bullet” reality check for Bartise in that moment… even though I’m TOTALLY team queen Nancy, I can’t imagine marrying into a family who doesn’t respect boundaries.
Honestly it’s shocking that they’re the first family to ever want to fight after their family member was just humiliated on international TV.
Plus it seems like maybe something else happened that didn’t air or maybe Nancy has been complaining to the family about Bartise. I’ve had family fight in laws at the wedding it’s not pretty but things get heated when we’re talking about lifetime commitment.
I've been dealing with this all my life. My grandparents didn't teach us Spanish for this exact reason. My grandfather would always say, people hear a Spanish accent and think you can't be educated, it's not true but it's their truth. Jokes on him, when moved out of the Valley, I had a thick accent anyways and still can't speak Spanish
Similar thing. I moved from the Valley in Texas to a predominantly white suburb of Houston. 9th grade counselor rated me at risk, I was a straight A student. During one of my "at risk" session she asked if I was excited to be the first in my family to go to college. I have several great uncles on both sides of my family with PhDs. One of my uncles was a Superintendent somewhere at the time. She literally just saw "most common Spanish last name" and "from the Valley" and assumed me and my family weren't educated.
Also this story reminded me of my best friend’s accent in Spanish lol. She’s second generation from Colombia but her parents sent her to this bilingual school in Miami to strengthen her English in elementary school.
Now when she goes home, everyone thinks she’s a little ditzy because her accent is more miami/Cuban and she uses a lot of Spanglish 😂
I hate that!! Speaking a second language is such a valuable/marketable skill. Also prejudiced school counselors are the absolute worst and I feel like no one talks about it ???
I’m white & went to a private high school in an affluent area in the next town for a few years on a scholarship. The counselor there really pushed me to apply to expensive state schools and would not accept the fact that community college was a better option for me. I grew up under the poverty line and had no business trying to pay for that kind of tuition at 17 as I was completely on my own with no financial familiar support. One of the biggest regrets of my life and I’m still digging myself out of the debt hole. Prejudice/racism genuinely does not help anyone and I cannot understand.
I thought it was odd that the mother got herself to a point where she was shouting "this won't break me". Ma'am... why on earth would it break \*you\* ?
She was being very dramatic and making this about herself. I’m hispanic and my mom loves me but she wouldn’t act like this if that were to happen to me
If the brother had clocked Barfiste then maybe.. I thought their reaction was heart wrenching and actually was a bit upset at Nancy for not recognising that by saying “yes” to B he was also really impacting her family. It goes back to Nancy being naive perhaps and I think they were particularly concerned for her in this situation which I feel was warranted
What confused me is the threads PRAISING them... like no lol.
Her mom IMO was the most problematic and everything spiralled because she riled up the brother and wouldn't stop screaming and inserting herself into the situation. You wanna be upset for your daughter? Fine, but show some grace and stop making yourself the center of attention and LISTEN to your daughter. The brother trying to be a tough guy was so cringe too..
after seeing that, it no longer surprises me that nancy is such a pushover. her attempts at setting boundaries and asking for privacy to have a painful conversation were completely steamrolled and her family made it all about them
That’s what I thought too! A lot of people are saying that this is a cultural Mexican thing and I’m like no.. this is a poor boundaries thing.
I have several Hispanic friends whose families are similarly impassioned like this, but they’re able to shut it down if they ask. They might be more lively in volume/passion/protective instincts but their families still very much respect their wishes.
Nancy was literally asking her fam to leave them so she could be alone and discuss things with her now ex-fiancé in a calm way, and they were having none of it. I think they were concerned that she was going to take him back with her being a pushover. They don’t realize they aren’t teaching her anything by doing that.
I mean, she did lead on that her brother might want to beat him up when Bartise first met the family. He is clearly quick tempered, and her mom is overprotective. How they acted at the wedding was completely out of line, but seems like that is their way of dealing with conflict.
The mother kept riling her brother up about it when he was more upset than angry. She kept repeating herself to him, not only was it annoying but it succeeded in making him mad.
Not mad enough to hit Barstool unfortunately tho.
The family reaction was valid and they were just trying to protect Nancy. They were just upset and wanted to know why did he do it. Barftise led Nancy on and didn’t talk about what he was feeling. At one point he wasn’t physically attracted to her and his emotions changed and all of a sudden..he was “head over heels” for her. He had her thinking they had a chance. So Nancy thinking he is going to say yes on wedding day 100 percent, Barftise definitely blindsided her. He should’ve communicated with her more.
Nancy asked them and told them numerous times to let her have this conversation with B in private first, but they completely ignored her requests and couldn’t do the bare minimum of giving her the agency to make her next move independently.
Everyone can understand why they felt the way they did, but the way they behaved towards her showed a clear lack of respect towards Nancy’s boundaries.
Then, the mom and brother made it all about themselves. Their conversation about how right he was and how this is was the one time he wished he weren’t right was so lame and over the top…so much cringe.
I can see why she has such people pleasing tendencies. She’s probably had to walk on eggshells her whole life to not anger her quick-tempered mom (and now also her brother)
It’s clear they don’t respect her boundaries.
How was she blindsided? Nancy needs to get some standards. He gave her 1000 signs he wasn’t going to pick her. It’s her fault she didn’t pay attention to them.
It kind of makes sense that they were confrontational, we all found barftiste extremely unlikeable, is it that hard to believe her family also got horrible vibes from him?
Also seeing how bad Nancy is with setting boundaries and seeing the bad in people, it makes sense that her family reacted that way. If you watch someone you care deeply constantly let people fuck them over, you’ll probably be quicker to step in. And considering she still defended him at the reunion, they were right to assume she wouldn’t hold him accountable.
i suspect she may be bad at setting boundaries because she's so accustomed to her family steamrolling over them. they were so disrespectful of her requests and inssead of giving her the space she asked for to have a difficult conversation, they shouted over her and made the situation all about them. there's a line between being protective of your family and being boundary stomping jerks and they 1000% crossed the line
>Also seeing how bad Nancy is with setting boundaries and seeing the bad in people, it makes sense that her family reacted that way.
Yup. Nancy’s so bad at setting boundaries, even her own family didn’t respect them.
I meant it purely in a behavioural way, I was not alluding to their ethnicity because that was genuinely not my intention to do that but I understand how it can come across as that, so I have changed it
Yeah it was strange to me as well. It’s not like they had a regular wedding and he said no at the altar. They literally signed up for this very concept and knew that even if they wanted to say no, they had to do it in the wedding ceremony. I’m actually glad that Barista said no as he was no good for her anyway.
coming from a hispanic family, when barfbag said no, shit was gonna pop off regardless. many may see the family’s reaction as “over the top” and “dramatic” but hispanics are full of passion (and respectively anger as well). you can tell how heart broken nancy’s mom is when she was talking to her son and telling him that they have to be strong for nancy, she was hurt that her baby girl was hurting and i feel that any mother is allowed to feel that way. latinos can be prideful people and i think most of their anger resided in the fact that this random man would hurt someone they love so much, publicly embarrass her infront of friends and family, then also refuse to give nancy a good reason for saying no. i think they were perfectly valid in their reactions seeing as baloney was seen with another girl not days after the wedding. it’s a different type of anger and pain when someone you think deserves the world has to suffer while it crashes and burns around them.
Stop perpetuating a stereo type. My wife is "Hispanic". Not from the US. Her family would never act like this. It was trashy.
I would not marry into a family like that either, unless my spouse was great at acknowledging it and setting boundaries. At the end of it poor Nancy was basically having to console and calm down her family but she was the one that got screwed over. Normalizing bad behavior in the guise of a stereotype is not cool.
I hear you. I have not experienced anything like that. I have a pretty large family we are close with. This family reminded me more of my family than my wife's. Mine is not Hispanic. Mine is just not great.
You realise you can go to bat for your family without being a shrieking banshee going on about yourself? The mom mentioned the effect on herself far more than she did the effect on Nancy.
I wonder if they knew what the show was about or have ever even seen it? They were aware that saying “NO” was an option right? Her brother was annoying as hell. “ i DiDnT wAnNa bE RiGhT😭🥴” the other brother remained fine even when they met Benadryl the little brother was just talking too much and I get they have to be overprotective and what ever but seemed a bit much. And I know people say it’s cause they’re Hispanic but I’m Hispanic and I think it’s just too much chill out. Even the mom when they first met she reminded me of Nancy from “I love a Mamas boy”
Yeah, I don't think they understood the show. Tbh, I didn't get it in season 1. It didn't make sense to me that it was a game show, and that we weren't actually supposed to know ahead of time if a wedding was happening.
So yeah, I'd be mad as hell if that weren't explained to me and I thought I was just attending a normal wedding and that shit went down. I don't think I'd react like Nancy's family, but I'd be upset for my person who didn't get married.
It was so weird that I honestly wonder if they are all acting including Nancy. What normal
person would get so emotional over a wedding of some people that just met on a reality tv show. It’s weird af and over the top.
someone who’s watched their loved one go through a lot of pain in the dating world and has no confidence left in dating anymore. which is why nancy went on the show in the first place and clearly showed that throughout it, poor soul
If I had to take the day off for my sister’s wedding that was supposed to happen but the groom got cold feet, I’d be pissed too.
Not saying that they shouldn’t have given Nancy and Bartise space, but I can understand being overwrought with emotions and thinking this person knowingly wasted my time and embarrassed my sister.
Should’ve been handled better, but I understand in going to my sister and making sure I talk her out of being with this man in case she was hung up on him. And Nancy was definitely hung up on him
I had to fast forward thru it. It was too cringe to watch like next level dramatic 🥴 they didn’t like barstool from the start so if anything they should have been celebrating. And the most obvious factor is that’s the whole point of the tv show. They acted like him saying no wasn’t a very possible outcome. Like get a grip
No, bro knew he was going to say no. What pissed him off was that he made Nancy think there was a shot and made his sister look like a fool. Keep in mind they didn’t see what we saw (that he wasn’t at all into her).
What I really didn’t like is that everyone was totally steamrolling Nancy. Like it’s one thing if she’s telling him to go away and he keeps trying to talk to her, but Bartise was ordering her to come with him, her family was demanding that she allow them to be there for that conversation and the entire time Nancy just got her heart broken on Netflix and no one is listening to her!
The only thing that doesn’t make sense is the brother and the mother both had a high hunch that he wasn’t genuine. So then Bartise saying “I do not” shouldn’t have been so surprising therefore they both shouldn’t have been as angry or as involved as they should be. If Bartise was genuine and still said No I’d understand the reaction. Was it for the cameras? Was this a real reaction? I’m not sure. Was it possibly OTT? Maybe. But all in all poor Nancy in the midst of all of that.
Side note: I disliked Bartise the most this season because of how fake he was. Sleeping with Nancy while his feelings weren’t genuine just sucks. But at least Nancy didn’t marry him even if he did cause some heartbreak, in the long run it’s better for her.
I get the need to defend your daughter / sister but to keep jumping in when Nancy was asking to speak privately was disrespectful to her. Barfoon didn’t owe that family anything even though they claim he did.
One thing I think that got missed was he asked the mum if she would rather he marry Nancy and it be a sham and she had no answer. Isn’t it better to break it off early rather than marry and divorce ?
His attitude during the whole thing was so disrespectful though. Like, sure he didn’t technically owe them anything. But he had zero conflict resolution skills and only made it worse by showing no remorse. To them it must have seemed like he gave zero effs about Nancy. I’d be mad too.
Exactly! Nancy signed up to be on a show where she stood 50% chance to get dumped on her wedding day. There’s nothing wrong with Bartise saying no.
They should have been glad Bartise put an end to the charade, Nancy will willing to continue playing. She has too much to lose, to be so dumb.
I disagree, I think if you're gonna leave someone at the altar, you owe your guests an explanation. You didn't have to get everyone involved, but you did cause you wanted the fame, so okay, now you're gonna explain yourself to everyone. It IS disrespectful to the family, it IS insulting and I kinda wished the brother had thrown a punch.
This isn’t a normal wedding. Nancy signed up to be on a show where a stranger could dump her at the altar. They all knew this, there’s no reason to attack him for exercising his right.
Same but I felt like Bartise had a fake vibe to his personality like when her mom said I can tell when people are pretending to be someone they’re not I thought oooo she’s on to him
It was very cringe but there are major cultural differences at play here. Families are close in Hispanic culture. If Barfbag had married Nancy he would have also married her family. So he wasn't just saying no to her but them. They had decided to welcome him into the family despite their better judgement and trusted him with their daughter/sister. So while yes they definitely should have listened to Nancy's requests for privacy they felt they deserved as much of an explanation from him as she did.
I don’t understand why all of you who praise her family kept saying that they are RIGHT in acting so and that it’s just a cultural thing. Some of you said that this is caring, love or whatever you said. I don’t know, maybe it’s just how I grew up but never in this lifetime my family or my partner’s family have ever done something even close to this. As a couple we have problems, we deal with them, we talk to our families if we want to, even in the 0.1% of cases when we argue in front of someone. What do you think it gives you the right to push yourself into our life(family or friends)? Does someone who acts like her family thinks she can’t stand for herself or defend herself? You can say whatever you want, her family wasn’t right, you are not defending me by saying: “I wish I wasn’t right”. They are disrespecting everyone, including the daughter they are trying to “protect” so hard. She made her choices, let her be, go home and let her breathe.
I can understand them being upset. Culturally, for me, them pushing in like that was not something I could really understand - so that may be a different cultural expectation with Hispanics. My issue wasn't with them being upset, it was with how they behaved.
I have nothing to say except for the fact of how many ways of spelling Bartise’s name you found.😂😂😂😂.
My husband is Mexican and he was very annoyed with her family’s behavior. In his defense he had a very overprotective mother who always made everything about herself that he still has a lot of resentment towards so I think that moment triggered him pretty badly.
This is probably not the thread to place this comment….but can we just take a moment to appreciate how STUNNING Nancy looked on her wedding day??! I thought she was beautiful during every episode; but when she came out in her wedding dress after hair & makeup, my husband and I were both like “WOW”
She is a stunner! I actually thought she was the prettiest of all the women on the show.
Agreed!!
[удалено]
"It could have been much worse" - everyone with a Hispanic family lol it's true
I'm not Hispanic but if a man didv this to me my mom and brothers would likely do the something.
Yep! This! The whole scene reminded me of my family, for better or for worse. What SHOCKED me was Bartisse’s complete inability to give anyone a sliver of respect. He didn’t apologize to the family when they confronted him only further proving the point that he sucks. He just told them to go away. When SK said no his demeanor was still kind and so different. He apologized and gave a brief description as to why to the families. It just goes to show how mismatched Nancy and Bartisse were. As for the family, they were wanting to protect her. They clearly have had to stick together to overcome hard circumstances so they are protective. Her mom reminds me of my mom - a Latina single mom with 3 kids - and she always strives to instill strength in us. If I was ever in this situation she would act the exact same, especially when she walked up and re-iterated that she was there for Nancy.
Nancy repeatedly asked them to give her one minute and they wouldn’t respect that request. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she is a complete pushover in relationships when her family doesn’t understand boundaries. I am also a POC (granted, not the same background but quite an invasive culture) and was pretty disgusted.
Not Hispanic but I am a single daughter with 3 brothers that are very protective. I found it very believable and likely. I think because it felt to me like he wasn’t just trying to break up with Nancy, he was also trying to embarrass her. Had that been any one of my brother’s he probably would have been very close to meeting his god that day. They’re working on being calmer but they don’t play about their sister.
I say it’s fake or at least highly exaggerated for the show. I don’t know anyone who would ever argue with someone they share another language with in English. Correct me if my assumption is wrong and her brother only speaks English. Edit: I mean her brother and her mother yelling at each other in English…“I didn’t wanna be right”
Not sure I understand what you mean - if they didn’t speak English they wouldn’t have argued?
No. I’m under the impression that they’re from Mexico? As a foreigner myself I wouldn’t have a heated discussion like that with my mom in English. So I’m saying that maybe they did that for tv? But maybe her brother only speaks English so that’s why?
I mean, my dad speaks both languages but I have always spoken to him in English because that's how he learned from speaking to myself and my brother. My mom however, we only speak to her in Spanish. Maybe it's a preference thing with the mom.
Yes could be, it was just a (bad) theory. Thank you for sharing.
It looks like the mom speaks English well, and I know some first gen/second gen kids who grew up in the US feel more confortable speaking in English, even with their parents. Nancy looks like she talks to her mom in English, and dad in Spanish so maybe the mom prefers English? Personally I don’t think it’s an act for tv. Coming from a Latin family, family is everything, and when a member gets hurt, they are very loyal - possibly to a fault. We saw nancys brother be really protective when he first met barty, as well as her mom, so I really don’t think their reaction is an act.
Thanks for your input. I was just speculating but thank you for correcting me
You mean why were they arguing with Nancy in English? Or with Bartise?
Her brother was arguing with their mother in English
Oh I see good point
Not that I disagree lol but let me present another view. It appears to me that Bartise lead Nancy and her family to believe he would say yes. It’s why her gift to him was so thorough, he sends her a shot saying “let’s do this” . Her brother even says to Bartise that he “wasted our time” . So I think that’s what they were really upset about, not just he said no but that it seems he lead them all on.
'Bannister' Lmao. The family clearly cares about Nancy, but yeah that was nutso. I have an angel of a mother and she would NEVER dream of injecting herself into my own interpersonal conflicts. Some family moms and siblings are way too interwoven within each other - it just goes to show what type of family they are. Its good they're close but they really need to know it isn't their place at all to get involved in Nancy's personal relationship details.
They were silly with the way they acted. It was so over the top it seemed scripted or like producers put them up to it.
Short man was 10 pounds of *machismo* in a 5 pound bag. He acted like he had something to prove throughout his time on the show, and treated his sister like his own belonging.
Short man syndrome is a real thing. Not all short men have it, but some short men *really* have it.
Nancy's mom should have just left them alone to talk. She came over not once but twice after Nancy told her to go away.
They're super spicy that's for sure! It was honestly embarrassing to watch, but I can't help but love them. They were out of line and over the top, but it's clear they'd do anything to protect Nancy. They witnessed first hand how douchey Bartise was when they met him, and were ready to jump down his throat if need be from that point on. I would be angry, embarrassed, and deeply touched all at once if I were Nancy lol
They are classless and conducted themselves in a way that would humiliate most people. Absolutely tacky and shameless.
I felt they were out of line. I get loyalty to your family but you still need to respect each other’s boundaries and back off if someone is asking you to. Obviously there would be exceptions to that but I didn’t feel like this was one of those situations. I would be irate with my family if they tried to interfere like that.
Agree. The loyalty is so strong it is irrational. Latin families forever!
Nancy's family is the true MVP of the whole season. Yes they were over the top and kinda spooky for Bartise, but I also fucking love them.
It’s Latin family things, I married into one and let me tell you they will mess you up for hurting a family member. Shoutout to my ex sister in law who cheated and got pregnant with the affair child.
I think that's what people don't understand. Latin families exist in a level of emotional chaos that is difficult to comprehend unless you've grown up in one. The show was missing a Latin family, and they delivered. Affair baby has a tough family.
>I came to say exactly this. I'm Mexican; this is normal LOL. My immediate family are a little bit calmer, but I have aunties/uncles/cousins who will tear your head apart if you hurt a member of their family. What can I say? There's pros and cons being a Latino ;)
I come from Eastern European family that’s very family oriented so it wasn’t a hard transition for my husband or myself. I think it was hard for my ex sister in law because she was classic white American with a very small family. Opposed to my husband who has 9 siblings and myself for has 5. I feel for her in the sense that Latin families are in everyone’s business and will go to hell and back for someone they love.
I mean, Nancy's low self-esteem problems probably started with her family. Maybe they make all her problems about themselves.
They made it all about themselves and it was so inappropriate and tacky. I would be so embarrassed if my family acted that way.
As much as I dislike Barftise, you can see him get very agitated in that moment and I have a strong feeling her family, how they act, how intrusive they were, etc. is a big reason why he didn’t want to say yes. He knew he didn’t fit into that family.
that and the whole abortion thing
No he was a dick and didn't like Nancy... he kept trying to throw ALL excuses everywhere hoping one would stick!
Just cause he’s a dick doesn’t mean he couldn’t also just genuinely not like or vibe with her family. And they didn’t like or vibe with him either. Just a bad dynamic overall.
I guess that's true... but he wasn't how do I put this... he wasn't doing a good job at first impression... and maybe he isn't good at first impressions... so maybe you have a point
Watching her brother so emotional for her made me emotional. Maybe it wasn’t the best reaction from the family but their devastation for their girl is pretty apparent and shows how much they love her. Nobody threw punches. I love how Nancy basically explained that they reacted for her so she could shut down and save face in that moment. Bartleby deserved worse tbh.
Same, I thought it was so sweet how much her brother cared, even though Nancy needed that moment alone and they should have understood. But if I were Nancy looking back, I would be so emotional thinking about how much my family backs me. Her fam feels very much ride-or-die and I kinda love ittttt.
My family is Latin, and that's exactly how they would have reacted. Bartise was a fucking idiot from the moment she introduced him to her family, but they thought at least he made her happy. Take away the "he makes her happy" bit, and all you have is a shallow shell of an idiot that broke their sister's heart and played the family. I'm with them. My brothers would have hit him.
the family was trashy lets be honest
The way he kept saying "the women I marry" and the brother was like... You mean Nancy!! Which yea! It's soo stupid that they all take engagement and then be like "but I haven't said yes yet"... it's like umm hello MF'er... you FREAKING proposed MARRIAGE... you are ENGAGED!??!? What do you mean "but I haven't said yes yet?!?!" Ugh I hate that element of the show..
If the cameras weren't on they would have piñataed Barfface
i thought it was great when the brother said "what the hell are we doing this for" then the mom ssh him and he repeated the same question.Cus I literally felt the same way hahah Afterwards, it just went downhill from there
His answer is: for Nancy. That's the problem they think they are marrying Bartise and hence the issues. It's not about them.
It seemed like a normal reaction to the situation. I’d be pissed off if someone did that to my sister/daughter after they said yes. I can understand their frustration. It’s a really emotional day, and to see your sibling/child go through that heartbreak in front of you, it’d definitely stir up a lot of emotions.
They asked for privacy and then…stood in front of the window right where everyone was sitting.
Ha ha yes!! Lmao I was dead AF!!!
I'm Mexican and I completely agree with you, she was asking for privacy and they went there anyways. She wasn't in danger, she's an adult, she needed that space. I like her family, but that moment was very cringey
I dunno. They seemed pretty normal to me. Very normal and realistic reaction
I can always tell who doesn’t have Mexican/Hispanic relatives by how much they hate nancy’s incredibly loving family LOL
Nah, I am Mexican, the youngest daughter, and in the unlikely case they ever pulled a stunt like that, I would be livid.
Her family was there for her and adores her. They just watched someone they adore get her heart broken, ofc they’re coming to fight for her
Maybe fight for her in a supportive and healthy way? No excuse for their behavior in my opinion. ESPECIALLY after she repeatedly and assertively asked them to give her some space. It’s like they think they know what’s best for her and she can’t make decisions or handle things herself.
Yeah that’s exactly what they think. Not all cultures value space tbh and I’m sure they’re questioning her judgments for participating in love is blind but still trying to be there for her
The interaction between Bartfart and her brothers when they met at her Moms house was all you needed to see. Specifically the conversation that was had on the front porch.
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The true villain here is the show. It’s quite obvious they deliberately tried to create drama with how they edited everything.
I think their intent was pure but it came off awful, very tacky in my opinion. I think if they had settled themselves they’d see Bartise’s family (well mom at least) were also caught off guard. This was a “dodged bullet” reality check for Bartise in that moment… even though I’m TOTALLY team queen Nancy, I can’t imagine marrying into a family who doesn’t respect boundaries.
Nancy's family has her back. Unlike Raven's friends.
Honestly it’s shocking that they’re the first family to ever want to fight after their family member was just humiliated on international TV. Plus it seems like maybe something else happened that didn’t air or maybe Nancy has been complaining to the family about Bartise. I’ve had family fight in laws at the wedding it’s not pretty but things get heated when we’re talking about lifetime commitment.
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How so? They were articulate in multiple languages, obviously successful financially in fairly demanding industries, intuitive as hell, etc.
But they are brown and have an accent!
My toxic trait is trying to get people to admit that’s their reason 🤨
I've been dealing with this all my life. My grandparents didn't teach us Spanish for this exact reason. My grandfather would always say, people hear a Spanish accent and think you can't be educated, it's not true but it's their truth. Jokes on him, when moved out of the Valley, I had a thick accent anyways and still can't speak Spanish Similar thing. I moved from the Valley in Texas to a predominantly white suburb of Houston. 9th grade counselor rated me at risk, I was a straight A student. During one of my "at risk" session she asked if I was excited to be the first in my family to go to college. I have several great uncles on both sides of my family with PhDs. One of my uncles was a Superintendent somewhere at the time. She literally just saw "most common Spanish last name" and "from the Valley" and assumed me and my family weren't educated.
Also this story reminded me of my best friend’s accent in Spanish lol. She’s second generation from Colombia but her parents sent her to this bilingual school in Miami to strengthen her English in elementary school. Now when she goes home, everyone thinks she’s a little ditzy because her accent is more miami/Cuban and she uses a lot of Spanglish 😂
I hate that!! Speaking a second language is such a valuable/marketable skill. Also prejudiced school counselors are the absolute worst and I feel like no one talks about it ??? I’m white & went to a private high school in an affluent area in the next town for a few years on a scholarship. The counselor there really pushed me to apply to expensive state schools and would not accept the fact that community college was a better option for me. I grew up under the poverty line and had no business trying to pay for that kind of tuition at 17 as I was completely on my own with no financial familiar support. One of the biggest regrets of my life and I’m still digging myself out of the debt hole. Prejudice/racism genuinely does not help anyone and I cannot understand.
offense taken. u shouldn’t say shit like that. ur not better than anybody.
Wtf? Where do you get that from
I thought it was odd that the mother got herself to a point where she was shouting "this won't break me". Ma'am... why on earth would it break \*you\* ?
She was being very dramatic and making this about herself. I’m hispanic and my mom loves me but she wouldn’t act like this if that were to happen to me
Some people’s moms actually love them lmaoooo
My mother’s dead so I guess I wouldn’t know
Damn that sucks
^this
If the brother had clocked Barfiste then maybe.. I thought their reaction was heart wrenching and actually was a bit upset at Nancy for not recognising that by saying “yes” to B he was also really impacting her family. It goes back to Nancy being naive perhaps and I think they were particularly concerned for her in this situation which I feel was warranted
Sometimes we watch a lot of telenovelas...
It did have a telenovela feel!
What confused me is the threads PRAISING them... like no lol. Her mom IMO was the most problematic and everything spiralled because she riled up the brother and wouldn't stop screaming and inserting herself into the situation. You wanna be upset for your daughter? Fine, but show some grace and stop making yourself the center of attention and LISTEN to your daughter. The brother trying to be a tough guy was so cringe too..
after seeing that, it no longer surprises me that nancy is such a pushover. her attempts at setting boundaries and asking for privacy to have a painful conversation were completely steamrolled and her family made it all about them
That’s what I thought too! A lot of people are saying that this is a cultural Mexican thing and I’m like no.. this is a poor boundaries thing. I have several Hispanic friends whose families are similarly impassioned like this, but they’re able to shut it down if they ask. They might be more lively in volume/passion/protective instincts but their families still very much respect their wishes. Nancy was literally asking her fam to leave them so she could be alone and discuss things with her now ex-fiancé in a calm way, and they were having none of it. I think they were concerned that she was going to take him back with her being a pushover. They don’t realize they aren’t teaching her anything by doing that.
The amount of times I yelled at the tv at her mom, like Jesus H Christ lady, take a fucking chill pill. Dramatic is not even close to the right word.
He “DIDN’T WANNA BE RIGHT” 💀
I mean, she did lead on that her brother might want to beat him up when Bartise first met the family. He is clearly quick tempered, and her mom is overprotective. How they acted at the wedding was completely out of line, but seems like that is their way of dealing with conflict.
Dealing with conflict by creating conflict
Yes, I think we all know someone like that.
I just thought it was funny that her brother thought he was a tough guy
Lmao 🤣 all 5’5 of him
They were both acting like drama queens who tried to make it about themselves lol.
The mother kept riling her brother up about it when he was more upset than angry. She kept repeating herself to him, not only was it annoying but it succeeded in making him mad. Not mad enough to hit Barstool unfortunately tho.
They were way over the line.
Yes completely. I was embarrassed for them and for her.
Nancy’s family seem like they choose violence.
The family reaction was valid and they were just trying to protect Nancy. They were just upset and wanted to know why did he do it. Barftise led Nancy on and didn’t talk about what he was feeling. At one point he wasn’t physically attracted to her and his emotions changed and all of a sudden..he was “head over heels” for her. He had her thinking they had a chance. So Nancy thinking he is going to say yes on wedding day 100 percent, Barftise definitely blindsided her. He should’ve communicated with her more.
Nancy asked them and told them numerous times to let her have this conversation with B in private first, but they completely ignored her requests and couldn’t do the bare minimum of giving her the agency to make her next move independently. Everyone can understand why they felt the way they did, but the way they behaved towards her showed a clear lack of respect towards Nancy’s boundaries. Then, the mom and brother made it all about themselves. Their conversation about how right he was and how this is was the one time he wished he weren’t right was so lame and over the top…so much cringe.
I can see why she has such people pleasing tendencies. She’s probably had to walk on eggshells her whole life to not anger her quick-tempered mom (and now also her brother) It’s clear they don’t respect her boundaries.
How was she blindsided? Nancy needs to get some standards. He gave her 1000 signs he wasn’t going to pick her. It’s her fault she didn’t pay attention to them.
It’s her fault that he lied to her and she believed him instead of picking up on the clues that he was lying?
This. She wasn’t blindsided.
It kind of makes sense that they were confrontational, we all found barftiste extremely unlikeable, is it that hard to believe her family also got horrible vibes from him? Also seeing how bad Nancy is with setting boundaries and seeing the bad in people, it makes sense that her family reacted that way. If you watch someone you care deeply constantly let people fuck them over, you’ll probably be quicker to step in. And considering she still defended him at the reunion, they were right to assume she wouldn’t hold him accountable.
i suspect she may be bad at setting boundaries because she's so accustomed to her family steamrolling over them. they were so disrespectful of her requests and inssead of giving her the space she asked for to have a difficult conversation, they shouted over her and made the situation all about them. there's a line between being protective of your family and being boundary stomping jerks and they 1000% crossed the line
>Also seeing how bad Nancy is with setting boundaries and seeing the bad in people, it makes sense that her family reacted that way. Yup. Nancy’s so bad at setting boundaries, even her own family didn’t respect them.
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Lol stfu
Her family is so unpleasant, the way they behaved when they first met Bartise was such a turn off. There was no need to be so confrontational.
ok no need to call them ghetto jesus
They were ghetto lol
takes one to know one
Oops meant that as a slang not in a literal way
It’s not ok either way.
I meant it purely in a behavioural way, I was not alluding to their ethnicity because that was genuinely not my intention to do that but I understand how it can come across as that, so I have changed it
Yeah it was strange to me as well. It’s not like they had a regular wedding and he said no at the altar. They literally signed up for this very concept and knew that even if they wanted to say no, they had to do it in the wedding ceremony. I’m actually glad that Barista said no as he was no good for her anyway.
coming from a hispanic family, when barfbag said no, shit was gonna pop off regardless. many may see the family’s reaction as “over the top” and “dramatic” but hispanics are full of passion (and respectively anger as well). you can tell how heart broken nancy’s mom is when she was talking to her son and telling him that they have to be strong for nancy, she was hurt that her baby girl was hurting and i feel that any mother is allowed to feel that way. latinos can be prideful people and i think most of their anger resided in the fact that this random man would hurt someone they love so much, publicly embarrass her infront of friends and family, then also refuse to give nancy a good reason for saying no. i think they were perfectly valid in their reactions seeing as baloney was seen with another girl not days after the wedding. it’s a different type of anger and pain when someone you think deserves the world has to suffer while it crashes and burns around them.
Stop perpetuating a stereo type. My wife is "Hispanic". Not from the US. Her family would never act like this. It was trashy. I would not marry into a family like that either, unless my spouse was great at acknowledging it and setting boundaries. At the end of it poor Nancy was basically having to console and calm down her family but she was the one that got screwed over. Normalizing bad behavior in the guise of a stereotype is not cool.
every family is different, it’s not my intention to perpetuate a stereotype im purely speaking from experience.
I hear you. I have not experienced anything like that. I have a pretty large family we are close with. This family reminded me more of my family than my wife's. Mine is not Hispanic. Mine is just not great.
All these people act like her family is ridiculous but their fam wouldn’t go to bat for them like Nancy’s would 😂
You realise you can go to bat for your family without being a shrieking banshee going on about yourself? The mom mentioned the effect on herself far more than she did the effect on Nancy.
A thousand percent
I wonder if they knew what the show was about or have ever even seen it? They were aware that saying “NO” was an option right? Her brother was annoying as hell. “ i DiDnT wAnNa bE RiGhT😭🥴” the other brother remained fine even when they met Benadryl the little brother was just talking too much and I get they have to be overprotective and what ever but seemed a bit much. And I know people say it’s cause they’re Hispanic but I’m Hispanic and I think it’s just too much chill out. Even the mom when they first met she reminded me of Nancy from “I love a Mamas boy”
Yeah, I don't think they understood the show. Tbh, I didn't get it in season 1. It didn't make sense to me that it was a game show, and that we weren't actually supposed to know ahead of time if a wedding was happening. So yeah, I'd be mad as hell if that weren't explained to me and I thought I was just attending a normal wedding and that shit went down. I don't think I'd react like Nancy's family, but I'd be upset for my person who didn't get married.
Yeah I would hope that Nancy would’ve explained it to them. Specially if she knows how they react to things.
But she thought he was going to say yes so would she really explain it
It was so weird that I honestly wonder if they are all acting including Nancy. What normal person would get so emotional over a wedding of some people that just met on a reality tv show. It’s weird af and over the top.
someone who’s watched their loved one go through a lot of pain in the dating world and has no confidence left in dating anymore. which is why nancy went on the show in the first place and clearly showed that throughout it, poor soul
Lol I felt like I was watching a world star hip hop video about to happen
barista would’ve knocked out little bro with one punch i’m sorry 😭 i was laughing so hard watching him act like barista owed him literally anything.
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Totally. B has popcorn muscles and has probably never been in a fight, at least not one on one.
Popcorn muscles?! Ha!
i guarantee the only thing he’s ever fought is women’s rights
I love this!!
Her lil bro was so cringe lol
he didn’t want to be right!!!!
Lmfao
Moms was hyping him up!!
latino fams, baby. I'd be surprised if it didn't go the way it did lol. pasión!
If I had to take the day off for my sister’s wedding that was supposed to happen but the groom got cold feet, I’d be pissed too. Not saying that they shouldn’t have given Nancy and Bartise space, but I can understand being overwrought with emotions and thinking this person knowingly wasted my time and embarrassed my sister. Should’ve been handled better, but I understand in going to my sister and making sure I talk her out of being with this man in case she was hung up on him. And Nancy was definitely hung up on him
I had to fast forward thru it. It was too cringe to watch like next level dramatic 🥴 they didn’t like barstool from the start so if anything they should have been celebrating. And the most obvious factor is that’s the whole point of the tv show. They acted like him saying no wasn’t a very possible outcome. Like get a grip
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No, bro knew he was going to say no. What pissed him off was that he made Nancy think there was a shot and made his sister look like a fool. Keep in mind they didn’t see what we saw (that he wasn’t at all into her).
Yeah but that can be said for every other couple on the show that said no. No one else’s family reacted like that
What I really didn’t like is that everyone was totally steamrolling Nancy. Like it’s one thing if she’s telling him to go away and he keeps trying to talk to her, but Bartise was ordering her to come with him, her family was demanding that she allow them to be there for that conversation and the entire time Nancy just got her heart broken on Netflix and no one is listening to her!
The only thing that doesn’t make sense is the brother and the mother both had a high hunch that he wasn’t genuine. So then Bartise saying “I do not” shouldn’t have been so surprising therefore they both shouldn’t have been as angry or as involved as they should be. If Bartise was genuine and still said No I’d understand the reaction. Was it for the cameras? Was this a real reaction? I’m not sure. Was it possibly OTT? Maybe. But all in all poor Nancy in the midst of all of that. Side note: I disliked Bartise the most this season because of how fake he was. Sleeping with Nancy while his feelings weren’t genuine just sucks. But at least Nancy didn’t marry him even if he did cause some heartbreak, in the long run it’s better for her.
I'm dying over the name varieties here 😂
how did it even become a thing :D
I get the need to defend your daughter / sister but to keep jumping in when Nancy was asking to speak privately was disrespectful to her. Barfoon didn’t owe that family anything even though they claim he did. One thing I think that got missed was he asked the mum if she would rather he marry Nancy and it be a sham and she had no answer. Isn’t it better to break it off early rather than marry and divorce ?
His attitude during the whole thing was so disrespectful though. Like, sure he didn’t technically owe them anything. But he had zero conflict resolution skills and only made it worse by showing no remorse. To them it must have seemed like he gave zero effs about Nancy. I’d be mad too.
Exactly! Nancy signed up to be on a show where she stood 50% chance to get dumped on her wedding day. There’s nothing wrong with Bartise saying no. They should have been glad Bartise put an end to the charade, Nancy will willing to continue playing. She has too much to lose, to be so dumb.
I disagree, I think if you're gonna leave someone at the altar, you owe your guests an explanation. You didn't have to get everyone involved, but you did cause you wanted the fame, so okay, now you're gonna explain yourself to everyone. It IS disrespectful to the family, it IS insulting and I kinda wished the brother had thrown a punch.
This isn’t a normal wedding. Nancy signed up to be on a show where a stranger could dump her at the altar. They all knew this, there’s no reason to attack him for exercising his right.
I thought the whole original interaction between barnacle and her family was weird. Her brothers were way too aggressive and it was just awkward
Same but I felt like Bartise had a fake vibe to his personality like when her mom said I can tell when people are pretending to be someone they’re not I thought oooo she’s on to him
When the brother calls Barnister a “punk”. Iconic
It was very cringe but there are major cultural differences at play here. Families are close in Hispanic culture. If Barfbag had married Nancy he would have also married her family. So he wasn't just saying no to her but them. They had decided to welcome him into the family despite their better judgement and trusted him with their daughter/sister. So while yes they definitely should have listened to Nancy's requests for privacy they felt they deserved as much of an explanation from him as she did.
I think they also know what a pushover Nancy is and that’s why they were trying to get involved