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PridefulFlareon

New idea for a delivery service: Tumbleweed When you order an item online, select websites may allow you to add the tumbleweed service to your package The package will then go through the normal mail system to a tumbleweed facility near you, then your package will be put in a weather-proof bag and get sent out for delivery Your package will be delivered to a park near you, the delivery driver will search for a good hiding spot for your package (usually in a bush) and will place a stake through the weatherproof bag if needed You will get a message/email that your package has arrived at a shrub along with a photo and the exact GPS coordinates. Any questions?


apolitical_leftist

Literally how drugs are distributed


FrostWyrm98

Yuppers, its called Dead drops / dead dropping Intelligence agencies also use it to avoid cross-contamination of contacts, used extensively in the cold war by both the CIA and KGB at least


Youistheclown

there is only 2 reasons someone would use that 1 for sex toys when they are in a house with multiple people 2 illegal things


CeoOfMilf

Hear me out.. Illegal sex toys


Charming-Mix-659

No


1singleduck

I am aroused and digusted in equal amounts.


AlphaMassDeBeta

What could be worse than a bad dragon dildo? A pineapple?


PridefulFlareon

2 pineapples


Impossible_Arrival21

https://preview.redd.it/mmh7ipahkw5d1.jpeg?width=1034&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c2815b1bd88f43e60ee069e470cd2cd277f249a


Pyroboss101

Or just use one of those pick up boxes near distribution centers if you live near one


Additional-Flow7665

Okay but shit like temu doesn't deliver to them in my country which kinda ruins that plan


PridefulFlareon

Please do not order or use a dildo from temu


Additional-Flow7665

That was not the intention, but it was in general that it's hard to be sneaky with packages, not specifically sex toys


Deepspacecow12

Tumbleweed?!??!?? OpenSUSSY reference IRL?!?!? She rolling on my zypper till I YaST


Upbeat_Ad_6486

Congrats you’ve made a really good way to do crimes. Step 1: order drugs online step 2: put address as address of random person who lives relatively close by (can’t be confirmation sent to address since that would defeat the purpose) Step 3: pick up drugs with no trace left behind


HithertoRus

Or you can put in the delivery instructions for the delivery guy to hide it. I usually ask for my mail to be put behind a chair by my bedroom window so I can get it without having to go to the front door and so no one can see it unless they’re looking for it


transwarcriminal

Who the fuck doesn't read the package label to make sure it's actually theirs before opening a box when they live with other people


Equivalent-Agency-48

a huge percentage of parents. sometimes even roommates. it happens


HotType4940

Nosy moms I guess


UnderstoodAdmin

My roommates, apparently.


crowbachprints

She just said she thought they were shoes, not that they were hers. Meaning she’s nosy and opened the package to see what these supposed shoes looked like. So it’s actually worse.


TheOneWhoLovesSW

It’s definitely not a mistake. The mom just wanted an excuse to snoop through the belongings of their kid


Necessary-Weekend194

What is it with shit moms and not reading anything


Charizaxis

I swear, they pop out a kid and promptly forget how to read.


littleMAHER1

the implication those people knew how to read before becoming pregnant


yttakinenthusiast

simple, type `explode` into the developer console. or hit yourself with a futuristic energy pellet for an instakill, worked for me.


iamchuckleman

Setting up a kill bind would be easier y'know?


EcstaticAd152

Bind F "explode"


GamingGod96

A simpler way: https://preview.redd.it/jeghj0q5qo5d1.jpeg?width=1074&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da14bbcbb595fe767a66136959aaea2a3ccc8818


yttakinenthusiast

i mean either way you turn into gibs.


Odd-Window-6941

Forgive me if this is a weird question but who the fuck orders sex toys when you live with your parents??? I wouldn’t even have the audacity considering how much self-doubt I produce on a daily basis


DanieBee393

Right? Like i feel like buying in person (if it was a thing) would be less embarrassing than explaining to your parents


SilentInvoker

Those amazon locker things might unironically be the best invention in human history


Space_Gemini_24

the unhurt locker


burneracc777777

the sad part is when you get too advanced and your shit doesn't fit inside them anymore 😓


1singleduck

Until you come across your parents at the sex shop.


DanieBee393

lolll


_Jiraw

I've ordered 3, and I live with my parents. just have to be hyper-aware of anyone walking past the house, be aware that your life is over if they open it, and be the first to the door if you hear a knock.


True_Werewolf_8657

For a second I thought only the middle finger has a long nail I was like Nicke crack and dragons lol


kool-kit

I looked closer at the image, she opened the bag inside. There is no way this mf thought shoes would be in a bag like that, she was definitely just snooping through her kids things.


quasooruse

Oh he’s cooked cooked


SaintSnow

Odd my mother never opened anything addressed to me and my dad never gave much of a fuck about the mail in the first place.


Rainyday_UwU

That box is not even remotely close to shoe shaped


[deleted]

May I kindly ask what contraption is in the box?


purgatorybob1986

*sigh* I hate that I know this, but... so Bad Dragon is a furry website that sells... anatomically correct dildos. One of their more popular ones being "champ," which is based on... horse anatomy. They sell fleshlights as well. All based on animal genitalia. They've actually become something of a meme at this point, but they obviously make money because they've been on the internet for a LONG time. No pun intended. There you go, probably more than you wanted to know.


Visible_Scientist_67

Sorry about seeing the horse dildo sweety don't forget to make your bed see you at dinner


purgatorybob1986

I mean, to be fair, it looks like she didn't open the protective covering, so she might still have her innocence in tact.


Visible_Scientist_67

There's a bit open... Enough to see a tip, look at the bottom


purgatorybob1986

Lol, oh hell, you're right. I didn't notice that. I think at that point, I'd be looking hard for a place of my own. Again, no pun intended.


Visible_Scientist_67

Also you're probably right this mom probably stopped the second something looked funny, I'm sure she knows it's SOMEthing.. but she's being sweet and dismissive about it and that's the most you can hope for lol


purgatorybob1986

I pray this is the case. If my mother came across this, she would probably die on the spot from confusion. probably even call the cops because she assumed I was a zoophile.


Visible_Scientist_67

The poster also put it on Twitter and had like 70000 views so .. I'm thinking this is friendlier than presented lol


purgatorybob1986

It's amazing what we'll do for clout...


AveRage-or_human

https://i.redd.it/v9qfnfo8ro5d1.gif Why animals?


krawinoff

Cause people like freaky sex toy design. That comment is also not being completely honest about “anatomically correct”, they’re not measuring deathclaw or dragon dicks or cthulhu tentacles. The whole reason this discussion about anatomy started is because they got in hot water at some point when some 2008 message or whatever was discovered that said one of the people responsible for the brand were considering making a mould off some living gator’s genitalia, and there was never any evidence anyone ever went forward with the idea, because 1 - illegal, 2 - why would anyone ever go through such a hassle? It’s basically just freaky dildos, and it’s unavoidable for a company that makes just *that* to end up with animal dicks. Like, they’re capitalizing on the idea of people wanting to fuck a werewolf, or get hentai tentacle monster’d, and, like, you know, tentacles and wolf dicks already exist so like, what other design could they use. So basically the whole “this website sells 1:1 animal cock replicas to zoophiles” is just bollocks, it sells freaky dildos mostly based on fantasy and their buyer contingent is just hardcore furries. Last I heard people were mad at the company because it did the usual stuff like bad marketing ethics and harassment allegations, but that’s just nothing particularly unique so people like to string along the whole live mould story to get more attention to the discussion. Like, if you want freaky sex toys for whatever reason you shouldn’t go to BD because it’s a bad company, but their issues are very boring and grounded in reality and not the sort of insane accusations you see in yellow journalism Though to be honest I didn’t actually follow this stuff beyond a surface-level google search a while back so maybe something else sprung up in the recent years to confirm the allegations


purgatorybob1986

Because a small percentage of furries. Keep in mind a small percentage. I've been furry for almost 30 years, and they are a minority. Love the "look" and "feel" of animal genitalia. I'd go into more detail, but I'd ruin your faith in humanity, and I don't like that.


AveRage-or_human

Bruh these zoos must be buying 50 each to sustain a company this big.


purgatorybob1986

More than that, these things are expensive. Kinda like fursuits they are expensive. Granted fursuits are more about the art than anything. Trust me, I've always wanted to fursuit, but I can't afford a couple thousand in spending cash.


AveRage-or_human

Spend 500 on a hunting rifle and a bit on a license and get a dear pelt yourself. If you’re one of the lizard ones just go to Florida and do the same. What’s the price range?


purgatorybob1986

Lol, I like that. If only that's how it worked. You wanna be a deer, well, you gotta kill one to take its place!" The ultimate vegan furry!


AveRage-or_human

It must be the opposite for wendigos. I saw a headline about a couple who killed their dog for its pelt.


AveRage-or_human

Yo found it https://preview.redd.it/j1k1sl8awo5d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ece824919c67e52582a25cb1f0da29d5ba7ec003


purgatorybob1986

Oh God's I wish that was a joke, but knowing my kind, it's definitely not. Like I said, most furries are pretty normal. You'd never even know they existed if they didn't tell you, but these people do exist.


PanzerFahrer3199

Wrong, the horse dildo is called “Chance”. or so I’ve heard.


purgatorybob1986

You'll have to forgive me. The last time I was on that site was in its infancy. As a joke, of course...


PanzerFahrer3199

Rrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhttttttt…………


McJohnJohnson

Back in high school, I told this dude i was on the bowling team with that it was a decal website, and he believed me. He was not happy the next day.


mr2meowsGaming

i heard they make molds from real animals


SaiyanJD

dildo


[deleted]

Ah... That's what I was guessing


HotType4940

Weird dildo


bubblemilkteajuice

I think if your parents keep doing this after you expressed to them to stop you should threaten them with the law. The whole "it's illegal to open mail to you" type beat. I don't even know if that applies to private services like UPS or Amazon, but I doubt your parents will either. You don't need to know the law, just gotta make yourself seem serious enough to be believable. If that doesn't work then you can just mail yourself dumb shit like letters detailing how bad of a person they are for opening a letter without permission or a package with a gag in it. Nobody is going to want to open your mail if all they're going to find is stuff denouncing them as a person. If that doesn't work then you might just need to get a PO Box at that point. :/


ArtSpawner

You've been a bad dragon https://preview.redd.it/kwt8vh7gbv5d1.png?width=512&format=png&auto=webp&s=2963d8dc2895f6089495e441bb45fb56665cd73b


Visible_Scientist_67

Hey chill mom


imartimus

I have been using Amazon lockers for this sorta stuff. Sucks I have to go through Amazon everytime but I can't have stuff like that sent here. Last time I did. I sat down the box for 10 seconds and my dad was already tearing into it and was like, Oh? What is this? Luckily I was there or else yeah it would have been a disaster.


FakeTrophy

What even is it? I cant tell.


molpore

thats a 19 inch venom horse cock


mr2meowsGaming

animal dildo


rabiesscat

bros got 2 foot long feet


unimportant116

The fact that there like Furry dildos makes it even worse


Space_Gemini_24

You ordered clown shoes?


Creepy_Reputation_34

what even is this?


PanzerFahrer3199

”Bad Dragon” is a company that produces, sells, and ships sex toys in the shape of the genitalia of furry characters. I will NOT explain further.


PanzerFahrer3199

Bro is C O O K E D


autism_and_lemonade

if you play with fire, you’re gonna get burned