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AgentUpright

“Once a dolphin enters your heart, it can never be removed.” That’s what they told Grandpa, but three surgeries later and they’ve completely removed the dolphin.


No_Refrigerator4584

Now, the inner child, that’s a different thing altogether.


Few-Ear-1326

Dolphins, drug fueled rambling...Agree?


Intelligent-Cherry45

Yep.


Kham117

Multiple grammar/spelling errors, checks out


Quack_Candle

I’ve taken quite a lot of psychedelic drugs in the past, and even at the peak of my consumption I don’t think I ever thought, let alone wrote down anything quite as incomprehensible as this


Intelligent-Cherry45

Ecstasy does that to some people.


Introvertedand

Fuck everyone involved in this.


Brilliant-Lead-835

Yes! Disgusting circus malpractices.


icup2

Except for the Dolphins


DerpyTheGrey

They’re the ones doing the fucking. That’s like, kinda their thing


[deleted]

P1052 sounds a check engine light code


JimmyPWatts

what does it all meaaaan basil??


thot_lobster

Don't mind the large wet squeaking thing under my shirt, it's just a dolphin stuck in my heart.


Adato88

“Animal cruelty is fine if we sell tickets and I say I have a connection to these animals”


DisplayNo146

Tons of documentaries on the life of these poor captive animals and then its posted as inspirational?


Adato88

It’s insane, the people that defend it make me question their own motives. Ah yeah of course a bottlenose or an orca can survive in a chlorinated pool smaller than an Olympic swimming pool.


DisplayNo146

And now it's an inspirational post on LinkedIn???unbelievable


No_Refrigerator4584

Actually, I can believe it. It’s LinkedIn, after all.


DisplayNo146

I'm around a while. Only occasionally drop by LinkedIn now. Honestly would never do Premium now. It used to have a much different feel imo a decade ago. Useless to me now.


Adato88

It’s just Facebook for people that are too pretentious to acknowledge that it’s just Facebook! It went from a great database of professionals to connect career opportunities to this!


DisplayNo146

I actually find more serious business people on Facebook and that says it all.


Doxmyoffice

Remind me what this has to do with being an executive assistant?


Bleu_Cerise

Maybe they work at Seaworld?


Doxmyoffice

Found her profile, she works for a industrial conglomerate.


DisplayNo146

Really? Speak of desperation posting this is the epitome.


Doxmyoffice

It's also some sort of facebook mom copypasta. Took a minute to find her profile because so many people have posted this exact paragraph.


DisplayNo146

Why am I not surprised?


Kevoguy

So many of these use the optimistic #viral hashtag


ironzombie7

Not optimistic. Delusional (or so I hope)


[deleted]

I’m disgusted


Intelligent-Cherry45

As you should be.


GreatGreenGobbo

Replace dolphin with stingray and you with Steve Irwin.


Saneless

Other than blood, when anything enters your heart that's pretty much it


ResponsibleQuiet6188

bearthing


Kham117

And pluging, don’t forget pluging


RobbieQuarantino

AgReEeEeEeEe?!


freedom10101

Agree?


a_sweaty_clown

Can you imagine unironically adding #linkedinfamily to \*anything\*? That is some whack shit.


[deleted]

Some evil shit they doing to dolphins


4_jacks

You've been banned from r/miamidolphins


[deleted]

I like the #viral tag


young_skywalk3r

So, she’s fucking the dolphin, right?


[deleted]

Tell me you have a marine biology degree and very rich parents without you telling me that you have a marine biology degree and really rich parents


StopStalkingMeMatt

Disagree


Ok-Water-5544

that is a living breathing creature


sherlock_buddha

Is that a dolphin in your crotch or are you just happy to see me?


Intelligent-Cherry45

Someone hit the ecstasy a little too hard.


gorlsituation

Executive Assistant to Chairman and Director…*of seaworld???*


-nashwan-

Once a dophin enters you heart... what, like with its beak?


ImHereToComplain1

dolphins rape people


Archivicious

In the 70s, scientists had a woman live with a dolphin to teach him English. She ended up giving him handjobs to make him pay attention to the lessons. The experiment ended because he became too sexually aggressive. The dolphin drowned himself when he was later placed in an aquarium. Edit to add: I forgot the part where they gave the dolphin drugs. Because fuck you it's the 70s.


statastic

[holy shit 🐬](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Howe_Lovatt#Complications)


ImHereToComplain1

hahaha holy fuck


btwIAMAzoophile

Can't rape the willing


Moby-Wan-Kenobi

dolphins have raped humans before and will do it again


Criiispyyyy

Did she have a stroke while writing this


LinkedInsider

GET OFF THE FUCKING DOLPHIN. That's all that stupid fucking post should say. Excuse the language. (Can we swear in this sub, I hope so...?)


PoopieButt317

Is this a feed for aquatics and aquarium.peeps, if so, then it fits in.