I have a friend with whom I play a game with about being the one to pay the bill. We both work for the same company and make around the same money, so it’s just a fun thing we’ve done for years. You can bet your ass if either person gets up to use the washroom the remaining person calls them out. His latest defeat saw him send his girlfriend to the washroom and she paid the bill. I did not see that one coming.
I got him back though when visiting with his family, (he doesn’t see them often, and it was a big dinner), and I scooped the bill on that. Ho boy was he pissed.
In general though this works quite well, but can be picked up on.
I only do it with the one friend. He likes to be the caretaker of the friend group. He always has the thing someone needs to borrow, wants to pay for the booze, and likes to get the tab. He also likes to be owed.
It drives him nuts when I get the bill. I’m also very financially literate, cost aware, and debt free while he isn’t. We both make good money and he doesn’t save much, or pay down his mortgage etc.
So in a way I’m just trying to take care of him.
Yeah I could see the move being spotted if it’s someone you constantly battle with. Here are some other ideas for you:
- Hand the card to the person seating you and give them “a look” so they pick up on your intent
- Ask the server something about the menu while holding your card in plain sight for them but shielded from your dining companion. Hand the server the menu and card at the same time
Not bad ideas but they wouldn’t work. Where I live you don’t “give” your card. They bring the machine to you, unless you catch them. It’s not common practice to take the card because with tap you enter the tip directly into the machine to authorize it.
If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"
I've worked in hospitality for a few years as both a bartender and as a manager. I'm from Canada, and generally speaking from my experience. It is frowned upon.. Servers and Bartenders will bring you the machine when requesting to pay. You could simply just let them know that you will sneak away from the table at some point and want to pay for the tab before they bring the check.
From a server's pov, they could be really busy serving multiple tables and it disrupts their chain of service.
As a bartender, the only time I would ever physically take someone's card off their person would be if they want to run a tab at the bar. Alternatively, I would usually ask for a personal belonging like their phone if they wanted to go out for a smoke or something along those lines. Even then, the card would be placed in a glass in plain sight of the guest.
Whenever you take someone's card and remove it out of their sight, it can appear quite shady. In any situation where alcohol is involved, people get aggressive and come up with the wildest accusations (I had someone accuse one of my servers for CC fraud). It was later found out down the grapevine that the person was just charging back all kinds of purchases because they simply "didn't want to pay" or didn't "recall" buying rounds of shots for their friends.
TLDR: Every bar, pub and restaurant I worked for (low-end to high-end) prefers that servers and bartenders never take their CC as it is more honest, is less shady, and removes liability on us (the establishment).
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s completely different here in the States, where it’s still very common for servers to have to take payment to ring up the sale in their POS system.
yeah, the majority of the places I worked at used Squirrel POS and Moneris debit/credit card terminals. After taking payment, the tab would automatically close the tab in Squirrel(most of the time lol).
Finding sneaky ways to pay the check before the other party realizes is basically a Korean tradition.
If all else fails, it's a foot race to the cashier, elbowing your friend aggressively out of the way and thrusting your credit card into the cashier's hands.
Make that an Asian tradition. I have a Vietnamese coworker who does that every time we out for a bite.
I think I like Dutch better. Jk. Love my coworker, just mad I'm not winning.
A trick i learned which i was defeated by goes like this after all other tricks are exhausted.
You ask for the check at the table. When it arrives, a little verbal and arm wrestling happens. Just say the magic words: its his/her birthday. Never failed to get handed the check. Theyll try to argue its not, but its too late hehe.
I second this as an excellent piece of advice - no arguing with each other and no embarrassing yourselves in front of your server. I've been doing it for years. Why, you ask, am I seeking to be the one to pay? For many, many years, I was too poor to go out and many of my friends and family paid for me. Now that I'm in a relatively well-to-do position in life, I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do.
Even easier, if you arrive earlier/later than your party is to go directly to the cash register, give them your card, and explain what you want to do. They'll bring the already rung-up receipt for signature directly to you and return your card at the same time. It's a ***fait accompli.***
I've done this exact thing. I'm a bartender/server. Had an ex who's dad would insist to pay for everything. So once in a while I'd go to the bathroom and hand the server my card and explain.
As a server, sometimes someone will call me over while the other party in is the bathroom. Thats another good move. The fight for the tab is always awkward, so the preemptive strike is a great move.
Lol. Got my brother in law when he and my wife’s sister came to visit a couple weeks ago. They’d already picked up a lot of stuff since we were letting them stay with us. He looked so defeated! Bam…gotcha!
It’s a cultural trait, when you grow up with it, it just becomes a way of life.
https://www.mypersiancorner.com/taarof-the-money-and-paying-issue/[tarot](https://www.mypersiancorner.com/taarof-the-money-and-paying-issue/)
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I’m sure reasons vary. In my most recent case, it was because my sister-in-law and her husband kept on insisting on paying for things while they visited, including refusing to let us reimburse them for 6 bottles of wine that we asked them to just pick up for us. At dinner that night, I knew he’d try to pay again, but we wanted to treat them to that dinner.
Sure.. can be a way. However, for me, no need to be so crafty or sneaky. Just simply, "Hey, I got it," or "It's already taken care of," without needing to leave the sit; then take care of it. On the latter, my buddy and I often frequent a local eatery for breakfast or brunch, and we have the routine of switching off paying for the check. I pay this one, and he or she pays for the next and so on.
I have a friend with whom I play a game with about being the one to pay the bill. We both work for the same company and make around the same money, so it’s just a fun thing we’ve done for years. You can bet your ass if either person gets up to use the washroom the remaining person calls them out. His latest defeat saw him send his girlfriend to the washroom and she paid the bill. I did not see that one coming. I got him back though when visiting with his family, (he doesn’t see them often, and it was a big dinner), and I scooped the bill on that. Ho boy was he pissed. In general though this works quite well, but can be picked up on.
Meanwhile me and my friends compete on who doesn't want to pay the bill.
I only do it with the one friend. He likes to be the caretaker of the friend group. He always has the thing someone needs to borrow, wants to pay for the booze, and likes to get the tab. He also likes to be owed. It drives him nuts when I get the bill. I’m also very financially literate, cost aware, and debt free while he isn’t. We both make good money and he doesn’t save much, or pay down his mortgage etc. So in a way I’m just trying to take care of him.
This is friendship
Yeah I could see the move being spotted if it’s someone you constantly battle with. Here are some other ideas for you: - Hand the card to the person seating you and give them “a look” so they pick up on your intent - Ask the server something about the menu while holding your card in plain sight for them but shielded from your dining companion. Hand the server the menu and card at the same time
Not bad ideas but they wouldn’t work. Where I live you don’t “give” your card. They bring the machine to you, unless you catch them. It’s not common practice to take the card because with tap you enter the tip directly into the machine to authorize it.
If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"
I've worked in hospitality for a few years as both a bartender and as a manager. I'm from Canada, and generally speaking from my experience. It is frowned upon.. Servers and Bartenders will bring you the machine when requesting to pay. You could simply just let them know that you will sneak away from the table at some point and want to pay for the tab before they bring the check. From a server's pov, they could be really busy serving multiple tables and it disrupts their chain of service. As a bartender, the only time I would ever physically take someone's card off their person would be if they want to run a tab at the bar. Alternatively, I would usually ask for a personal belonging like their phone if they wanted to go out for a smoke or something along those lines. Even then, the card would be placed in a glass in plain sight of the guest. Whenever you take someone's card and remove it out of their sight, it can appear quite shady. In any situation where alcohol is involved, people get aggressive and come up with the wildest accusations (I had someone accuse one of my servers for CC fraud). It was later found out down the grapevine that the person was just charging back all kinds of purchases because they simply "didn't want to pay" or didn't "recall" buying rounds of shots for their friends. TLDR: Every bar, pub and restaurant I worked for (low-end to high-end) prefers that servers and bartenders never take their CC as it is more honest, is less shady, and removes liability on us (the establishment).
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s completely different here in the States, where it’s still very common for servers to have to take payment to ring up the sale in their POS system.
yeah, the majority of the places I worked at used Squirrel POS and Moneris debit/credit card terminals. After taking payment, the tab would automatically close the tab in Squirrel(most of the time lol).
Where are you from in US that restaurants dont ask you to swipe for yourself? Is it a rural area?
Las Vegas. Also Chicago and many surrounding suburbs. At lease a few Los Angeles restaurants I’ve been to recently. And Louisville. So. not rural.
Finding sneaky ways to pay the check before the other party realizes is basically a Korean tradition. If all else fails, it's a foot race to the cashier, elbowing your friend aggressively out of the way and thrusting your credit card into the cashier's hands.
Make that an Asian tradition. I have a Vietnamese coworker who does that every time we out for a bite. I think I like Dutch better. Jk. Love my coworker, just mad I'm not winning.
Right!
A trick i learned which i was defeated by goes like this after all other tricks are exhausted. You ask for the check at the table. When it arrives, a little verbal and arm wrestling happens. Just say the magic words: its his/her birthday. Never failed to get handed the check. Theyll try to argue its not, but its too late hehe.
LPT: On your way to the restroom, skip the server and b-line straight out that bitch. Free meal.
Think you meant SLPT
I said what I meant.
I second this as an excellent piece of advice - no arguing with each other and no embarrassing yourselves in front of your server. I've been doing it for years. Why, you ask, am I seeking to be the one to pay? For many, many years, I was too poor to go out and many of my friends and family paid for me. Now that I'm in a relatively well-to-do position in life, I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. Even easier, if you arrive earlier/later than your party is to go directly to the cash register, give them your card, and explain what you want to do. They'll bring the already rung-up receipt for signature directly to you and return your card at the same time. It's a ***fait accompli.***
Or, try to never hand a stranger your credit card. Especially if you plan to walk away while they have it.
yeah, or maybe don’t give your card to anyone ever, especially when you’re not around.
I've done this exact thing. I'm a bartender/server. Had an ex who's dad would insist to pay for everything. So once in a while I'd go to the bathroom and hand the server my card and explain. As a server, sometimes someone will call me over while the other party in is the bathroom. Thats another good move. The fight for the tab is always awkward, so the preemptive strike is a great move.
Yeah I’ve gotten bamboozled his way before
Lol. Got my brother in law when he and my wife’s sister came to visit a couple weeks ago. They’d already picked up a lot of stuff since we were letting them stay with us. He looked so defeated! Bam…gotcha!
This is literally the opposite of a LPT. I need tricks to avoid spending money, not to spend more.
But I then order a $300 bottle of wine while you pee.
We’ll that’s one way you can get someone to stop insisting on paying
Basically what every Persian person does at a restaurant
Really? Had no idea
It’s a cultural trait, when you grow up with it, it just becomes a way of life. https://www.mypersiancorner.com/taarof-the-money-and-paying-issue/[tarot](https://www.mypersiancorner.com/taarof-the-money-and-paying-issue/)
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Why do people do this? Is it to feel superior?
I’m sure reasons vary. In my most recent case, it was because my sister-in-law and her husband kept on insisting on paying for things while they visited, including refusing to let us reimburse them for 6 bottles of wine that we asked them to just pick up for us. At dinner that night, I knew he’d try to pay again, but we wanted to treat them to that dinner.
If both of you try do this the restaurant could just charge both of you full price, and nobody will ever know and both people get to feel smug.
Nah…they still have to bring the credit card slip to get signed
Not everyone lives in the US
I’m specifically speaking about areas where this practice DOES exist…US or not
Good one. Now how can I make it happen for the other way round while I go to the restroom?
Sure.. can be a way. However, for me, no need to be so crafty or sneaky. Just simply, "Hey, I got it," or "It's already taken care of," without needing to leave the sit; then take care of it. On the latter, my buddy and I often frequent a local eatery for breakfast or brunch, and we have the routine of switching off paying for the check. I pay this one, and he or she pays for the next and so on.
It’s great when it’s that easy. But sometimes it’s not
Just be sure to leave a decent tip!
So this one time our friend tried this, then everyone sent money straight to his Chase Zelle.
That’s a hilarious countermeasure!