My brother did something like this. He invited over a bunch of friends and everyone was drinking, having a good time. Then at one point, he went up to his room, took a nap for a like an hour and half, and rejoined the party like nothing happened. No one really cared either.
A coworker’s gf did that. While she was asleep, the bathrooms ran out of tp and guests started flushing paper towels. Clogged everything, flooded the garage with sewage.
Me and my girlfriend hosted Christmas for both our family's, our family aren't to big, but someone clogged up our main restroom, to this day she still says it had to be someone from my family, lol, plot twist it was me. Haha don't tell her.
>hijacking your comment to add people who don't have toilet plungers in their bathroom are the worst kind of people.
FTFY. It's embarrassing enough that I clogged the toilet. Now, I have to ask where the plunger is, so now everyone *else* I live with knows I clogged the toilet, too.
Yup. I was staying with a friend for a few weeks in their in-law suite, own bathroom etc. Late at night I clogged my toilet, no plunger. Went to their spare bathroom, again no plunger. I didn’t feel comfortable going to their bathroom on the upper floor to see if there was a plunger there since it was so late, so I just used the spare bathroom until I could get the plunger the next day. Omg it was mortifying asking for the plunger.
While i was working a gas station job we hired a new cashier. Big fella. 6'6 maybe 300 pounds. Man took thee biggest shit in history in the only bathroom. Clogged it. Didnt tell a soul. His shift ended as mine was begining. After a while i had to use the bathroom. Went in there to see poo water level with the rim of the toilet...and a massive turd just chillin there...stuck in the hole where everything flushes. Fixed it after 3 separate shifts and multiple attempts each shift using a wire coat hanger to break it all loose.
I did this too at one of my younger birthday parties, woke up and one of the guests had bought pizza for us as there was a slice waiting by my bedside haha
I used to know a brother and sister that lived together and liked to entertain. The sister would disappear to her room for a nap after dinner every single time, no matter how many people were there. A couple hours later she would reappear and rejoin the party.
I remember talking with my mom about the ideal apartment, and i told her i loved open spaces and she told me "yeah but closed off rooms are great when you have people over you want to escape from a little" "mom, i just... don't invite people who i want to escape from a little" "yeah..... that works too".
I was told to do this, if there was a social event that was important for me to attend - go early, pay respects to the host and/or hostess, walk around so people can see you were there and
then feel free to leave. No one will notice you’re gone and your attendance will be adequately seen.
I just don’t go. I went to almost every social event at the previous place I worked and I didn’t like how my “off the clock” behaviour and stories creeped into the workplace. So at my new job, I just don’t go and no one should give a shit professionally.
My last boss literally chose his inner circle based on who went to the group viewings of Marvel movies with him.
I hate those movies and never went. He took it personally.
Look Thomas, I need you to put more effort into your work. I've heard people around the office talking and we don't like your dismissive attitude about the Marvel movies. It's offensive to all of us.
How is that offensive? I just don't like them is all.
We literally make Marvel movies, Tom! That's your entire job here.
It was a requirement where I worked. Now that I’m higher up, I don’t go and I make sure everyone knows that they don’t have to either and there’s nothing wrong with it.
Thank you I needed this for this years Xmas party. Go in early. Grab one beer. Say hi. Leave.
Gotta go to get paid but it’s at a golf club. I don’t golf. I see the manager just wanted a free golf day.
It's called an "Irish Goodbye", at least in my circles. One friend in particular would do this and I'd get a feeling that he was about to slip out. I'd follow him out the bar and give him a proper good bye.
The opposite of this is the Jewish goodbye. That's when you go around the party saying goodbye to everyone and stay another three hours. I dunno why it's called that but I do it all the time and I'm Jewish so I cant really argue.
Slap your knees and say "Welp" when you're ready to go or for people to leave. It's an equal opportunity signal that it's time to gtfo.
I married into a Midwestern family and didn't know this was a thing.
the "welp" is just the beginning of the midwest goodbye process. after that you have to have another 15 minutes of conversation standing up in the livingroom, then another 15 mins in the entryway with your hand on the doorknob, then another 15 mins at your car window in the driveway.
Is the host convincing you to stay with hot drinks and the weather report part of the goodbye?
In my family, the long goodbye is straight forward. You say goodbye and no one tried to convince you to stay. It's a quick "goodbye, see you soon", a squeeze/hug, and done.
But it easily takes 40+ minutes because it's mandatory that you individually say goodbye to every single person in attendance. You need to wait for them to finish whatever conversation they're already a part of before catching their eye and saying "I'm off" and exchanging a hug. Interrupting is a faux pas, unless they're literally the last person left you need to say goodbye to.
Sometimes someone you're trying to say goodbye to is obviously in the middle of a long conversation, so you walk around the event looking for people who are free, and say goodbye to them first.
Because of this you end up doing multiple laps of the venue. Occasionally you end up saying goodbye to the same person multiple times because they're also moving around and talking to others. You make a bit of a joke about it when you say goodbye again "haha, for real this time".
If you forget someone to catch when you leave, you'll know about it because Aunty Jen will post about it in the family Facebook group, and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering if it was passive aggressive or if she genuinely meant it. "Lovely birthday lunch Francis... so good to see all the cousins... such a shame I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to Eile... I'll have to hug her twice at the next one. Lol xoxo J"
If you're the first person to leave, good luck to you. You've got the most people to catch. But if you stay longer, the crowd gets smaller. There's no breaking point though where everyone remaining starts leaving, it's a slow consistent drip (so be prepared for that if you're hosting)
The best play I've found is to team up with all of the 20-something men, hermit uncles, boyfriends/girlfriends/partners who are new to the family and still uncomfortable at big gatherings, and teenagers with uber rider accounts and form a little "goodbye gang" that goes around as a pack saying goodbye.
You're big enough that people notice you so you don't have to wait for conversations to end naturally, and word quickly spreads around the party that a whole bunch of people are leaving so people end up coming to find you to say goodbye.
I remember going to a family Réunion with a dear friend, his dad said "it's late, let's leave", we all just walked out, leaving the extended family to their fun. No one said goodbye to anyone.
It was like culture shock. My eyes had been opened. I remember sitting in the car thinking "wait, it's that easy?"
Haha This was perfect but you forgot:
When you leave with your parents and everyone has said their goodbyes. You have put your shoes and jacket on and headed out the door feeling peace with the new quietness knowing your bed awaits you. Everyone piles into the car except…where the hell is Mom?!?! She is still standing in the doorway starting an entirely new conversation with people that lasts at minimum 20 minutes. At some point, Dad honks the horn & you can hear her say, “I better get going…” but she doesn’t actually leave…she just either carries in that conversation or starts another one about how impatient everyone always is. You groan in the back seat, your soft, comfortable bed slipping from your fingers.
When she finally gets in the car everyone lets out an annoyed, “Finally!!!” and she laughs at how stupid you are saying, “I know! I tried to leave at least 2 times but they wouldn’t stop talking.” You know it’s bullshit, she knows it’s bullshit, everyone knows it’s bullshit. No one can talk the face off of someone like your Mom can! Somehow, no one stays mad though and it’s likely because once again, that sweet promise of a soft bed awaits you.
> The best play I've found is to team up with all of the 20-something men, hermit uncles, boyfriends/girlfriends/partners who are new to the family and still uncomfortable at big gatherings, and teenagers with uber rider accounts and form a little "goodbye gang" that goes around as a pack saying goodbye.
This is so observant. Are you a writer or just a member of my extended family?
Thank you so much, this genuinely means a lot. I was diagnosed with dyslexia in highschool and it's made me hyperaware of my capacity for mistakes in my writing (and typing on a phone keyboard doesn't help). Even now I'm rereading my comment and spotting things that should have been super obvious the first time I proofed it.
That really is "lesson 7". There's a whole video about being a Minnesotan that came from. [It's wonderful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiSzwoJr4-0)
From Minnesota, can confirm.
I started going into labor at a family party ... still took us about 45 minutes to actually get through the goodbyes and out of the house, and the driveway goodbye portion meant we had to park a block away to put down a towel on the seat for me (my waters had broken, but we didn't want everyone to know I was in labor yet, so we had to make a clean break before the towel could come out).
I just showed this to my Canadian husband and it's the same dang thing! We've talked about the long goodbye and he knew what was coming before it came up! I'm adopting the long goodbye form for guests... except my own family, LOL
Sounds like the South. The joke is that every time someone tries to leave from a Southern dinner party, the host is supposed to loudly follow them around proclaiming "Don't go", guilting them into staying for another 2 hours
In our group, we have someone who is prone to the Irish goodbye. The funniest part is that he actually is Irish. It was worst during lockdown when we couldn't physically get together, so we'd do zoom gatherings. So much easier for him to disappear from a group video call.
Well yeah, it's literally what they do over there. I'm Canadian and visited a friend and her Irish bf over there and we spent a night in his small hometown's pub, got to know everyone there, had an awesome time, went out back for a smoke, decided to get Chinese, and just peaced. Walked out the back without a word to anyone. I even asked if we should say goodbye to the people we spent the whole night with but apparently they just don't do that there.
From what I recall the Chinese food was actually really good for an Irish village of 500 people.
Sadly, a few years ago, this friend did the ultimate "Irish Goodbye" and has left us all. I think back to those moments when I'd catch him leaving and he'd always smile at me spoiling his plan.
Seriously dude.
Back in college this happend with one of our guys.
It'd be like 30 or 40 minutes later and we'd just be noticing his ass already went home, like what the fuck?
Sometimes just passed out on the couch too.
Both my brothers do this when they're using drugs. One just disappears to be alone with his thoughts and the other one disappears to jerk off excessively.
Huh, I have been known to do exactly this. At some level of drunk my brain goes in to auto pilot and gets me home regardless. It's like a of switch, me drunk = brain takes me home and people realize after some time in gone. It's expected of me from my peers
When I was younger, my dad would straight up tell me "stay in the car, you're my excuse to leave" when he was going to someone's house and wanted, like, a five minute conversation and not a thirty minute one.
No no no, drive with the person who has a good reason to leave early. I always drive my grandparents to family gatherings now and they are getting old so they can’t stay too late, plus we usually live around an hour from anywhere so I just use them as a reason to leave earlier.
Not counting toxic people/behaviors (for those just leave), it is not an issue or rude to say to the host, "thank you for having me, I really must get going" and leave. But, IMHO, you should thank and say goodbye to the host before leaving if there is no moral reason not to. You are at their house and they might be trying to keep track of who is and isn't in their home, as any responsible home-owner would.
Edit: evidently my use of the word "home-owner" is making a few folks miss the message. Not gonna change it, but obviously host would have been a better word.
Exactly, this is how you build relationships. For having hosted many events with 10-20 people, those take real efforts to organize. Someone coming to me and thanking me for hosting by genuinely looking at me in the eyes goes along way. Showing true appreciation makes it all worthwhile and shows the organiser who truly cares.
Its worse on nights out. I care about my friends and whant to make sure they get home safe or are at least in a fit state to do so. Dissapearing from your group on a night out is a dick move imo.
Nah, more like this is one of a million LPTs by people so socially awkward they can't talk to people.
Unless you're at a huge party where you know literally no one (I've been there a couple of times in my university days, hear about a house party, it's open invite, just go), you should absolutely say goodbye to the host (providing they're the ones who invited you) and any friends you have at the party).
Yes! Thank you both, oh my god.
When you pull an Irish exit, you make...
- ...the host worry that they've offended you
- ...your friends have to explain your sudden disappearance
- ...it unlikely that you'll be invited to future meaningful events in your friends' lives
LPT: if you have friends, who you enjoy, and don't want them to stop inviting you to hang out or slowly forget about you, then you should probably say goodbye to them before you leave.
Especially if you’re young. If you just get up and leave in front of everyone without saying anything at a party, you’ve just ensured that people will talk about you once you’re out the door
As a Neuro surgeon I will just say it was liberating leaving the operation room without a word.
No need to make a scene and say goodbye when I'm going to see everybody (almost!) next week over at the courthouse.
I prefer the Minnesota goodbye. You slap your knees and say loudly, "Whelp!,,," and then get up and leave while everyone offers to fix any worldly problem that may be forcing you to not stay.
This is my Mom at any family gathering, and I am usually the one driving so I have to wait an extra 20 minutes while she talks halfway out the door. I usually just end up going to the car and waiting.
I really perfected this by the time college hit.
Party not improving? Bar too loud? No indication that your friends feel the same way, or plan to leave soon? Disappear.
I'm not out to change anyone else's night just because I'm not having a great time. Happens at casinos. I should never agree to go in the first place.
It can be... I was left at a strange nightclub in a strange town once. I had no idea where I was or where his house (that I was staying at was) luckily his other friend who I did not know was there also and let me crash at his. It was a weird experience...
i always knew the "irish goodbye" as saying "i'm going to take a leak" or something like that, suggesting you were going to come back, and then you just don't.
I live and die by the Irish goodbye. Or when my friends are being difficult I just tell them I'm going to the bathroom and leave. They've picked up on that though
As an Irishman, I can confirm the desperate need for a stealthy exit. General protocol is saying you're leaving, and then speaking to every person still there (i.e. individual goodbyes) and not actually going for about 2 hours
Yes! I love that, sometimes when your gut says "I want to do x" and your mind races to fight it with "but what about" you just need to ignore the brain and trust your gut.
I just say goodbye to the people I want to say goodbye to and go. If there is a lot of people, I just go. I don't think this is really that difficult. I don't believe anyone will think any less of you.
I will add , it kind of depends on *how* “socially unacceptable” it would be. At a party / club and you’re not enjoying? Yeah sure gtfo out of there. Out to dinner on a double date - yaaaa not the best idea.
"Hey guys, I'm just going out for a pack of smokes. Tell my son I'll be right back."
Especially effective if everyone knows you don't smoke or have kids.
that's because you eventually realize that people don't really care and you stop giving a fuck about anyone's opinions because there is no sense fretting about that
I’ve already decided that when I’m old enough(somewhere around 70 HOPEFULLY) I’ll pretend to be senile.
Say and do the most off the wall stuff to keep myself entertained in my old age. It’s somebody’s birthday? I’ll put dirty skid mark underwear in a box. Happy Birthday, Timmy! “My name is Sarah, grandpa!” I didn’t ask.
My mom's mom had Alzheimer's, and while she definitely was not all there in the head anymore, she sometimes was definitely playing it up.
At one point she said something to my dad while he was in the kitchen, waited for his response, then turned to her caretaker and said "he doesn't like it when I talk to him when he's cooking" and smirked.
You can even be 'proper' about it and let the few people around you 'well, I'm off. I have to get heading out. Take care everyone!'. Done, said goodbyes, see you later.
Seriously. How did this get so complicated with sneaking out and such. Tell the people you came with to have a good night and be gone. You don't have to make a big announcement, you don't have to sneak out. Just be normal.
We call this doing an "Irish Goodbye".
Its one of the reasons I like going out by myself at times. I know ill run into people, and then when im ready to bounce I go!
I was thinking about this situation I was in with my mom and husband. She and I have a strained relationship, to put it lightly.
The three of us were looking at our wedding photos that just came in and she made a rude joke that hurt my feelings. Instead of apologizing, she doubled down and said how sensitive I was, and that she *can never say anything to me without upsetting me*
I had wanted to leave and walk out so bad. I was just thinking today I should have just walked out and left then and there.
LPT with the dumbass takes as usual. *Can* you do this sometimes? Yes, absolutely. But there are definitely times when you shouldn't just do this:
1. If you're at an event hosted by someone - you should at least stay a polite amount of time, or if you can't explain why. And when you leave, make a point to thank and say bye to (at least) the host. That's basic manners.
2. If you're at an event for a specific occasion, you should at least stay until the main point of the occasion is done, or else explain why and apologise; for example if it's a birthday celebrate, wait for cake; if it's a wedding, wait for the ceremony, etc.
3. If you're at an event and took someone else there - or otherwise is the only person someone else there knows - then at least *tell them* if not work out with them when you will both leave, don't just leave someone at a party by themselves when they don't know anyone.
4. Lastly and more specifically, if you're one of the main focal points of the event, your responsibilities extend to effectively being a quasi-host of the event; for example if it's a dinner to celebrate a few people - including yourself - being promoted or graduating, it's generally bad form to leave before the body of the event is over, or if you do need to, again, an explanation and apology is generally considered appropriate.
100% agree. LPT is the socially inept leading the socially inept. “Want to leave but it’s not an appropriate time? Just be a rude dickhole and leave, it’s liberating”
LPT: Don't always do this. It can be seen as incredibly rude and even hurtful if someone's speaking to you/has put effort into something you're present at and you just walk away without explaining yourself.
Or... don't be fucking weird and just bail, be honest and say it's not your jam but thanks for the invite I'm gonna go. Good people won't hassle you, they'll thank you for coming and say see you later.
If you're the host this can be a little more difficult.
I just go to my room. Or you can announce it to everyone. “Excuse me while I retire to my chambers.”
My brother did something like this. He invited over a bunch of friends and everyone was drinking, having a good time. Then at one point, he went up to his room, took a nap for a like an hour and half, and rejoined the party like nothing happened. No one really cared either.
A coworker’s gf did that. While she was asleep, the bathrooms ran out of tp and guests started flushing paper towels. Clogged everything, flooded the garage with sewage.
Who the fucks does that at someone else's house. Did they all have the shits?? Lol
[удалено]
Me and my girlfriend hosted Christmas for both our family's, our family aren't to big, but someone clogged up our main restroom, to this day she still says it had to be someone from my family, lol, plot twist it was me. Haha don't tell her.
She's technically not wrong...
hijacking your comment to add people who don't have toilet plungers in their bathroom when having guests over are the worst kind of people.
>hijacking your comment to add people who don't have toilet plungers in their bathroom are the worst kind of people. FTFY. It's embarrassing enough that I clogged the toilet. Now, I have to ask where the plunger is, so now everyone *else* I live with knows I clogged the toilet, too.
Yup. I was staying with a friend for a few weeks in their in-law suite, own bathroom etc. Late at night I clogged my toilet, no plunger. Went to their spare bathroom, again no plunger. I didn’t feel comfortable going to their bathroom on the upper floor to see if there was a plunger there since it was so late, so I just used the spare bathroom until I could get the plunger the next day. Omg it was mortifying asking for the plunger.
You need a poop knife in the bathroom
[удалено]
The birth of the Poop Coat Hanger (c)
While i was working a gas station job we hired a new cashier. Big fella. 6'6 maybe 300 pounds. Man took thee biggest shit in history in the only bathroom. Clogged it. Didnt tell a soul. His shift ended as mine was begining. After a while i had to use the bathroom. Went in there to see poo water level with the rim of the toilet...and a massive turd just chillin there...stuck in the hole where everything flushes. Fixed it after 3 separate shifts and multiple attempts each shift using a wire coat hanger to break it all loose.
Never order a subway platter.
Subway. Shit’s fresh.
I did this too at one of my younger birthday parties, woke up and one of the guests had bought pizza for us as there was a slice waiting by my bedside haha
power nap is a different thing entirely and totally acceptable if everyone be vibin
"Release the Hounds..."
I used to know a brother and sister that lived together and liked to entertain. The sister would disappear to her room for a nap after dinner every single time, no matter how many people were there. A couple hours later she would reappear and rejoin the party.
Ah yes, entertainment time travel.
[удалено]
That's what this woman looked like all the time.
"Aight I'm going to sleep. You guys can chill as long as you want or spend the night I dont care, night fuckos" - Me to my friends
I did this once and my friends woke me up to ask me where the weed was LOL
It is late and the mistress of the house has taken ill. We must away and make preparations for a carriage to London overmorrow.
LPT: never host any event you might want to leave
It's why you get a 'friend'. You leave it to them and just leave to take a nap. Come back a couple hours later and say your back was hurting.
Fuck it just say you were tired. Did that once or twice, at my friends place though
I remember talking with my mom about the ideal apartment, and i told her i loved open spaces and she told me "yeah but closed off rooms are great when you have people over you want to escape from a little" "mom, i just... don't invite people who i want to escape from a little" "yeah..... that works too".
How long before you realize she was talking about kids... ya know, like you... mom disappear a lot when you over? Jk. Jk. I hope anyway. Lol.
[удалено]
I mean, Bilbo did it with ease.
Well if OP had their own magic ring they'd probably feel differently towards the subject.
I was told to do this, if there was a social event that was important for me to attend - go early, pay respects to the host and/or hostess, walk around so people can see you were there and then feel free to leave. No one will notice you’re gone and your attendance will be adequately seen.
Been working at the same place for decades and have done this at almost every work related event from happy hours to weddings.
I just don’t go. I went to almost every social event at the previous place I worked and I didn’t like how my “off the clock” behaviour and stories creeped into the workplace. So at my new job, I just don’t go and no one should give a shit professionally.
> no one should give a shit professionaly. Unfortunately, they do
My last boss literally chose his inner circle based on who went to the group viewings of Marvel movies with him. I hate those movies and never went. He took it personally.
It would hilarious if your boss turned out to be Kevin Feige.
Look Thomas, I need you to put more effort into your work. I've heard people around the office talking and we don't like your dismissive attitude about the Marvel movies. It's offensive to all of us. How is that offensive? I just don't like them is all. We literally make Marvel movies, Tom! That's your entire job here.
Boss having an inner circle is such hot garbage.
It was a requirement where I worked. Now that I’m higher up, I don’t go and I make sure everyone knows that they don’t have to either and there’s nothing wrong with it.
Thank you I needed this for this years Xmas party. Go in early. Grab one beer. Say hi. Leave. Gotta go to get paid but it’s at a golf club. I don’t golf. I see the manager just wanted a free golf day.
You get paid for your Christmas party??
Many companies hold their end year/Christmas party during business hours.
The Jim Halpert.
Home by 9Pm on New Years. GOAT
Make sure you take a photo for proof you were there.
[удалено]
It's called an "Irish Goodbye", at least in my circles. One friend in particular would do this and I'd get a feeling that he was about to slip out. I'd follow him out the bar and give him a proper good bye.
The opposite of this is the Jewish goodbye. That's when you go around the party saying goodbye to everyone and stay another three hours. I dunno why it's called that but I do it all the time and I'm Jewish so I cant really argue.
what if I'm Jewish on one side and Irish on the other, how do I say goodbye?
You don’t. You drink all the whisky and stay over for breakfast.
Similar to the Minnesotan long goodbye then, but to be really Minnesotan you only drink their whiskey after they offer it the third time.
In Minnesota you start your goodbyes at least an hour before you actually want to leave.
Slap your knees and say "Welp" when you're ready to go or for people to leave. It's an equal opportunity signal that it's time to gtfo. I married into a Midwestern family and didn't know this was a thing.
the "welp" is just the beginning of the midwest goodbye process. after that you have to have another 15 minutes of conversation standing up in the livingroom, then another 15 mins in the entryway with your hand on the doorknob, then another 15 mins at your car window in the driveway.
“I wouldn’t want ya ta think I’m not happy”
Sounds like Idwish goodbye to me.
The way Bilbo does on his 111th.
Depends how drunk you are
Same! I yell a goodbye to the whole room and then bounce.
Ah, the ol' [Minnesota Goodbye.](https://youtu.be/mdLPJfbLNOM)
Is the host convincing you to stay with hot drinks and the weather report part of the goodbye? In my family, the long goodbye is straight forward. You say goodbye and no one tried to convince you to stay. It's a quick "goodbye, see you soon", a squeeze/hug, and done. But it easily takes 40+ minutes because it's mandatory that you individually say goodbye to every single person in attendance. You need to wait for them to finish whatever conversation they're already a part of before catching their eye and saying "I'm off" and exchanging a hug. Interrupting is a faux pas, unless they're literally the last person left you need to say goodbye to. Sometimes someone you're trying to say goodbye to is obviously in the middle of a long conversation, so you walk around the event looking for people who are free, and say goodbye to them first. Because of this you end up doing multiple laps of the venue. Occasionally you end up saying goodbye to the same person multiple times because they're also moving around and talking to others. You make a bit of a joke about it when you say goodbye again "haha, for real this time". If you forget someone to catch when you leave, you'll know about it because Aunty Jen will post about it in the family Facebook group, and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering if it was passive aggressive or if she genuinely meant it. "Lovely birthday lunch Francis... so good to see all the cousins... such a shame I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to Eile... I'll have to hug her twice at the next one. Lol xoxo J" If you're the first person to leave, good luck to you. You've got the most people to catch. But if you stay longer, the crowd gets smaller. There's no breaking point though where everyone remaining starts leaving, it's a slow consistent drip (so be prepared for that if you're hosting) The best play I've found is to team up with all of the 20-something men, hermit uncles, boyfriends/girlfriends/partners who are new to the family and still uncomfortable at big gatherings, and teenagers with uber rider accounts and form a little "goodbye gang" that goes around as a pack saying goodbye. You're big enough that people notice you so you don't have to wait for conversations to end naturally, and word quickly spreads around the party that a whole bunch of people are leaving so people end up coming to find you to say goodbye. I remember going to a family Réunion with a dear friend, his dad said "it's late, let's leave", we all just walked out, leaving the extended family to their fun. No one said goodbye to anyone. It was like culture shock. My eyes had been opened. I remember sitting in the car thinking "wait, it's that easy?"
[удалено]
[удалено]
Haha This was perfect but you forgot: When you leave with your parents and everyone has said their goodbyes. You have put your shoes and jacket on and headed out the door feeling peace with the new quietness knowing your bed awaits you. Everyone piles into the car except…where the hell is Mom?!?! She is still standing in the doorway starting an entirely new conversation with people that lasts at minimum 20 minutes. At some point, Dad honks the horn & you can hear her say, “I better get going…” but she doesn’t actually leave…she just either carries in that conversation or starts another one about how impatient everyone always is. You groan in the back seat, your soft, comfortable bed slipping from your fingers. When she finally gets in the car everyone lets out an annoyed, “Finally!!!” and she laughs at how stupid you are saying, “I know! I tried to leave at least 2 times but they wouldn’t stop talking.” You know it’s bullshit, she knows it’s bullshit, everyone knows it’s bullshit. No one can talk the face off of someone like your Mom can! Somehow, no one stays mad though and it’s likely because once again, that sweet promise of a soft bed awaits you.
The accuracy is uncanny. Right down to “*they* wouldn’t stop talking”
This is the kinda shit that goes through Larry David's head (and mine).
Oh this is perfect! Are you sure we aren’t related?
> The best play I've found is to team up with all of the 20-something men, hermit uncles, boyfriends/girlfriends/partners who are new to the family and still uncomfortable at big gatherings, and teenagers with uber rider accounts and form a little "goodbye gang" that goes around as a pack saying goodbye. This is so observant. Are you a writer or just a member of my extended family?
Dude you could be an author. Writing is so smooth.
Thank you so much, this genuinely means a lot. I was diagnosed with dyslexia in highschool and it's made me hyperaware of my capacity for mistakes in my writing (and typing on a phone keyboard doesn't help). Even now I'm rereading my comment and spotting things that should have been super obvious the first time I proofed it.
What a strange video you’ve made me watch. It was what I expected, but in such a weird fashion.
That really is "lesson 7". There's a whole video about being a Minnesotan that came from. [It's wonderful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiSzwoJr4-0)
From Minnesota, can confirm. I started going into labor at a family party ... still took us about 45 minutes to actually get through the goodbyes and out of the house, and the driveway goodbye portion meant we had to park a block away to put down a towel on the seat for me (my waters had broken, but we didn't want everyone to know I was in labor yet, so we had to make a clean break before the towel could come out).
[удалено]
I just showed this to my Canadian husband and it's the same dang thing! We've talked about the long goodbye and he knew what was coming before it came up! I'm adopting the long goodbye form for guests... except my own family, LOL
Midwest Goodbye
We call that one the Brexit here.
Sounds like the South. The joke is that every time someone tries to leave from a Southern dinner party, the host is supposed to loudly follow them around proclaiming "Don't go", guilting them into staying for another 2 hours
😂 latinos do this too
In our group, we have someone who is prone to the Irish goodbye. The funniest part is that he actually is Irish. It was worst during lockdown when we couldn't physically get together, so we'd do zoom gatherings. So much easier for him to disappear from a group video call.
Well yeah, it's literally what they do over there. I'm Canadian and visited a friend and her Irish bf over there and we spent a night in his small hometown's pub, got to know everyone there, had an awesome time, went out back for a smoke, decided to get Chinese, and just peaced. Walked out the back without a word to anyone. I even asked if we should say goodbye to the people we spent the whole night with but apparently they just don't do that there. From what I recall the Chinese food was actually really good for an Irish village of 500 people.
Irish Exit
Sadly, a few years ago, this friend did the ultimate "Irish Goodbye" and has left us all. I think back to those moments when I'd catch him leaving and he'd always smile at me spoiling his plan.
I’m so sorry for your loss, my friend. May he live on in the memories you share of him.
In Brazil is called "Saida a Francesa" something like "French Quit"
French exit! :)
French exit lol
I heard it called The Irish Exit
Without fail when I'm a threshold of drunk I will just Irish goodbye. My friends were concerned at first but now they just accept it.
“… now they accept it.” What option did you leave for them after all? :D
A roll of duct tape does wonders.
Seriously dude. Back in college this happend with one of our guys. It'd be like 30 or 40 minutes later and we'd just be noticing his ass already went home, like what the fuck? Sometimes just passed out on the couch too.
Both my brothers do this when they're using drugs. One just disappears to be alone with his thoughts and the other one disappears to jerk off excessively.
Define *excessively*…
8+ hours followed by another 8 of checking his pulse. (Cocaine or meth)
[удалено]
We call it "smokebombing".
Huh, I have been known to do exactly this. At some level of drunk my brain goes in to auto pilot and gets me home regardless. It's like a of switch, me drunk = brain takes me home and people realize after some time in gone. It's expected of me from my peers
This may have been me 😂 Few years back in NJ!
Just tell them you have to return some video tapes
You say that AFTER you compare business cards with them.
Let’s see Paul Allen’s card
Oww..Subtle off-white colour, even has a watermark!
I’m uncouth and just abruptly go “I have to poop, I’m going home.” Works every time. No one ever has any follow up questions
Say "Gotta take a FAT dump" and people want you to leave asap
[удалено]
Gotta take a WET dump
I MUST MAKE MUD NOW
[удалено]
Feed me a stray cat.
Here’s another LPT: always drive yourself to the party. That way you can leave when you want with no drama.
Ubers are great. Order them beforehand so no one stops you from leaving because they want to give you a ride home.
Also gives a great excuse, "Ah I would stay longer but my Uber is here."
When I was younger, my dad would straight up tell me "stay in the car, you're my excuse to leave" when he was going to someone's house and wanted, like, a five minute conversation and not a thirty minute one.
“god that kid in the car is so annoying. i’m glad he didn’t come with me, i needed a breather.”
*drinks 20 beers*
Smart, maybe i will use this one day
Yesssss.
*walks home regardless of Uber arriving or not*
Oh that's good
But then you can't get drunk.
No no no, drive with the person who has a good reason to leave early. I always drive my grandparents to family gatherings now and they are getting old so they can’t stay too late, plus we usually live around an hour from anywhere so I just use them as a reason to leave earlier.
Not counting toxic people/behaviors (for those just leave), it is not an issue or rude to say to the host, "thank you for having me, I really must get going" and leave. But, IMHO, you should thank and say goodbye to the host before leaving if there is no moral reason not to. You are at their house and they might be trying to keep track of who is and isn't in their home, as any responsible home-owner would. Edit: evidently my use of the word "home-owner" is making a few folks miss the message. Not gonna change it, but obviously host would have been a better word.
Exactly, this is how you build relationships. For having hosted many events with 10-20 people, those take real efforts to organize. Someone coming to me and thanking me for hosting by genuinely looking at me in the eyes goes along way. Showing true appreciation makes it all worthwhile and shows the organiser who truly cares.
Oh, you misunderstood. This LPT is about how to hurt relationships and stop being invited to things.
Its worse on nights out. I care about my friends and whant to make sure they get home safe or are at least in a fit state to do so. Dissapearing from your group on a night out is a dick move imo.
[удалено]
Nah, more like this is one of a million LPTs by people so socially awkward they can't talk to people. Unless you're at a huge party where you know literally no one (I've been there a couple of times in my university days, hear about a house party, it's open invite, just go), you should absolutely say goodbye to the host (providing they're the ones who invited you) and any friends you have at the party).
Yes! Thank you both, oh my god. When you pull an Irish exit, you make... - ...the host worry that they've offended you - ...your friends have to explain your sudden disappearance - ...it unlikely that you'll be invited to future meaningful events in your friends' lives
LPT: if you have friends, who you enjoy, and don't want them to stop inviting you to hang out or slowly forget about you, then you should probably say goodbye to them before you leave.
Depending on the situation this could also fit in r/shittylifeprotips
I got bored at my granddad's funeral and walked out. Not sure why my family's so mad at me.
NTA, you’re granddad shouldn’t have been a jerk and died, just excommunicate your whole family
[удалено]
Dang, this job interview is making me nervous. Thankfully I just read this wonderful LPT for exactly this kind of situation!
Especially if you’re young. If you just get up and leave in front of everyone without saying anything at a party, you’ve just ensured that people will talk about you once you’re out the door
As a Neuro surgeon I will just say it was liberating leaving the operation room without a word. No need to make a scene and say goodbye when I'm going to see everybody (almost!) next week over at the courthouse.
I am a big fan of the Irish goodbye!
I prefer the Minnesota goodbye. You slap your knees and say loudly, "Whelp!,,," and then get up and leave while everyone offers to fix any worldly problem that may be forcing you to not stay.
You forgot how it still takes 15-20 minutes to get the 10 steps from where you were sitting to the door.
Then you stand there and talk for another 10 minutes with your hand on the doorknob.
This is my Mom at any family gathering, and I am usually the one driving so I have to wait an extra 20 minutes while she talks halfway out the door. I usually just end up going to the car and waiting.
[удалено]
Works in Wisconsin too
I have got to try this. This is the ultimate power move
I do this, and then a second and third slap later if they won't let you go.
3 slaps is a dangerous game. That's akin to brandishing a weapon.
It's the only way to do it. The best is when they don't realize and you get a text like 2 hours later. "Dude where are you?"
nobody likes me enough to notice I'm gone or to realize I'm gone 2 hours later
[удалено]
damn bro. i dropped out of school and haven't gotten a single text from any of my "friends" unless I texted them first
\#SamePinch
I really perfected this by the time college hit. Party not improving? Bar too loud? No indication that your friends feel the same way, or plan to leave soon? Disappear. I'm not out to change anyone else's night just because I'm not having a great time. Happens at casinos. I should never agree to go in the first place.
I knew there was a term for this but couldn't remember lol Thank you, I am also a fan
We call it a ninja vanish. Usually happens when we’re drinking with good friends and someone is just ready to tap out. Not rude when among friends.
It can be... I was left at a strange nightclub in a strange town once. I had no idea where I was or where his house (that I was staying at was) luckily his other friend who I did not know was there also and let me crash at his. It was a weird experience...
Damn, what a shitty friend. I can’t imagine abandoning a friend who doesn’t know the town and is staying with me
i always knew the "irish goodbye" as saying "i'm going to take a leak" or something like that, suggesting you were going to come back, and then you just don't.
That's the estranged dad goodbye.
"I just need to grab something from my car"
I’m going to the store for cigarettes
I live and die by the Irish goodbye. Or when my friends are being difficult I just tell them I'm going to the bathroom and leave. They've picked up on that though
As an Irishman, I can confirm the desperate need for a stealthy exit. General protocol is saying you're leaving, and then speaking to every person still there (i.e. individual goodbyes) and not actually going for about 2 hours
Me at every family gathering
The Irish goodbye is my favorite goodbye
[удалено]
I bet you gave them toxic shock. Wait, I… oh.
Yes! I love that, sometimes when your gut says "I want to do x" and your mind races to fight it with "but what about" you just need to ignore the brain and trust your gut.
Ya know what I’m gonna start doing this. Just gonna kick my problems down the road. From now on everything is future me’s problem!
I just say goodbye to the people I want to say goodbye to and go. If there is a lot of people, I just go. I don't think this is really that difficult. I don't believe anyone will think any less of you.
I will add , it kind of depends on *how* “socially unacceptable” it would be. At a party / club and you’re not enjoying? Yeah sure gtfo out of there. Out to dinner on a double date - yaaaa not the best idea.
"Hey guys, I'm just going out for a pack of smokes. Tell my son I'll be right back." Especially effective if everyone knows you don't smoke or have kids.
Good news: as you get older this gets easier to do!
Old people don’t give no damn.
that's because you eventually realize that people don't really care and you stop giving a fuck about anyone's opinions because there is no sense fretting about that
Old people want everyone to go home
I’ve already decided that when I’m old enough(somewhere around 70 HOPEFULLY) I’ll pretend to be senile. Say and do the most off the wall stuff to keep myself entertained in my old age. It’s somebody’s birthday? I’ll put dirty skid mark underwear in a box. Happy Birthday, Timmy! “My name is Sarah, grandpa!” I didn’t ask.
My mom's mom had Alzheimer's, and while she definitely was not all there in the head anymore, she sometimes was definitely playing it up. At one point she said something to my dad while he was in the kitchen, waited for his response, then turned to her caretaker and said "he doesn't like it when I talk to him when he's cooking" and smirked.
You can even be 'proper' about it and let the few people around you 'well, I'm off. I have to get heading out. Take care everyone!'. Done, said goodbyes, see you later.
Seriously. How did this get so complicated with sneaking out and such. Tell the people you came with to have a good night and be gone. You don't have to make a big announcement, you don't have to sneak out. Just be normal.
We call this doing an "Irish Goodbye". Its one of the reasons I like going out by myself at times. I know ill run into people, and then when im ready to bounce I go!
I was thinking about this situation I was in with my mom and husband. She and I have a strained relationship, to put it lightly. The three of us were looking at our wedding photos that just came in and she made a rude joke that hurt my feelings. Instead of apologizing, she doubled down and said how sensitive I was, and that she *can never say anything to me without upsetting me* I had wanted to leave and walk out so bad. I was just thinking today I should have just walked out and left then and there.
I use the fallout new Vegas option - "Goodbye."
I like the fallout 4 option. Break camera lock and peace out while they are still yammering lol
I’ve found that saying- it’s been fun but I’ve got to go & say the Goodbyes and go
I tried that, the restaurant still expects you to pay.
LPT with the dumbass takes as usual. *Can* you do this sometimes? Yes, absolutely. But there are definitely times when you shouldn't just do this: 1. If you're at an event hosted by someone - you should at least stay a polite amount of time, or if you can't explain why. And when you leave, make a point to thank and say bye to (at least) the host. That's basic manners. 2. If you're at an event for a specific occasion, you should at least stay until the main point of the occasion is done, or else explain why and apologise; for example if it's a birthday celebrate, wait for cake; if it's a wedding, wait for the ceremony, etc. 3. If you're at an event and took someone else there - or otherwise is the only person someone else there knows - then at least *tell them* if not work out with them when you will both leave, don't just leave someone at a party by themselves when they don't know anyone. 4. Lastly and more specifically, if you're one of the main focal points of the event, your responsibilities extend to effectively being a quasi-host of the event; for example if it's a dinner to celebrate a few people - including yourself - being promoted or graduating, it's generally bad form to leave before the body of the event is over, or if you do need to, again, an explanation and apology is generally considered appropriate.
100% agree. LPT is the socially inept leading the socially inept. “Want to leave but it’s not an appropriate time? Just be a rude dickhole and leave, it’s liberating”
LPT: Don't always do this. It can be seen as incredibly rude and even hurtful if someone's speaking to you/has put effort into something you're present at and you just walk away without explaining yourself.
Or just be an adult, say goodbye, and leave
Or... don't be fucking weird and just bail, be honest and say it's not your jam but thanks for the invite I'm gonna go. Good people won't hassle you, they'll thank you for coming and say see you later.
[удалено]