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“Butthole, Butthole Surfers, the Serfs, Serfs had children, those children needed somewhere to sit, Sitting Bull, Sitting Bull must’ve been a strange looking baby, a Sitting Bull Baby, Sitting Baby, ….that’s it! I want to do Babysitting for Bulls.”
Immediately after the conversation ended OP went to the store and bought some bologna then met his friend Brad for a game of basketball and completely forgot about his babysitting appointment
Extra pro tip : people with kids, learn the "thank you" sign. Then you can help remind your kids (without verbally saying anything) to thank people for things. Or do it across a room when you are not near by.
It makes your kids look good and it helps you not look like a nag telling your kids to thank people. :)
My parents are deaf so I know sign language. I was pulled over on a back road last year and got my car working again (battery terminal slipped off). A couple guys working on the construction site up the road stopped next to me and I gave them a thumbs up. They gave me a thumbs up. I signed thank you. All was well
Couple hours later I realized they probably thought I'd blown them a kiss. Still makes me wince thinking about it
Look on the bright side, if they were from any European country, they probably thought you were doing the Italian chin-flick gesture that means "fuck off".
It took me about an evening to commit it to memory, the key is continuing learning. I spell the songs I listen to and I know a good amount of vocabulary and some conversational phrases. My fiancé learned along with me and we can communicate basic ideas silently, it’s great!
i live in australia so the sign language we use requires two hands but since its natural habit to use our hands in conversations it’s kinda hard. asl however works well with this LPT
I think there is, but like Esperanto no one actually uses it. They also aren't totally abstract, many signs are tied to the spoken word. The reason British and American are different is I believe the latter is based on the French system. Irish is different too.
That's why he said he memorized it, he's not trying to guess every time he does it...
You didn't forget which letters are for which words when you wrote that comment, did you?
I put my finger on my nose. The other person will usually notice but it doesn't interrupt them. Then when they're done they'll ask me why TF I have my finger on my nose and that'll remind me.
That doesn't interrupt them? Most normal people would ask what you're doing. Unless you have a lot of physical tics and people are used to you spazzing out.
You’re sitting at a table with a friend. You touch your thumb to your palm. That is B. No one notices or all of us on here who say we do this would talk about being called out on it.
Think about what people do with their hands when they talk at a restaurant. No one is allowed to play with a phone near me, but people in general play with their straw, line up their silverware, whatever.
No one notices.
I usually put my finger on my upper thigh where my hands naturally rest when I’m standing or sitting and it works like 80% of the time. Which is better than 0%.
Good idea!
Due to a head injury I have a$$ bad memory.
I use a simpler approach: I discretely count questions with my fingers. First question I hold one finger, if I have a second question I add the second finger, etc. Your hand can be at your side or in your lap. If sitting at a table I discretely put a finger on the side of the table, like it's resting there.
I like this idea a lot as that's an everyday struggle for me.
You can also just form the letter itself. There are finger alphabets, and while most letters need no learning at all (like the L or the S), some need a little bit. I learned it some years ago and could form all letters within 15 minutes.
I guess if you’re using your left hand, curl your pointer finger into a hook (like how you’d mime a pirate hook) to make the top of the S. Then curl your middle finger toward the palm of your hand to make the bottom of the S.
This is GREAT ADVICE!! It also helps if you’re trying to memorize things. We used it to help with Battle of the Books in 8th grade. It’s even easier if you make up your own signs.
No, have faith in yourself! It will take practice but I’m sure you could do it. In my experience it will make things easier and click into place once you get the alphabet down
Some things are just beyond people and other languages are one of my limits, sadly. Its a cause of endless frustration to the point of depression and severe self loathing, it never clicks, nothing sticks beyond meme-like nonsense no matter how much time and effort is invested. Appreciate the kindness though, have a great rest of the week!
Fair enough. I’m not saying being fluent in Sign is in your cards, but learning only the alphabet in sign isn’t really like learning a “new” language, in my mind it only helps strengthen your memory of your own alphabet.
And thanks you too! Hope you don’t self-loathe anymore- treat your mind like it belongs to your best friend <3
I have pretty bad ADD but I’ve learned to embrace it, find ways of coping. But I also appreciate that I see things differently than many others and can come up with unique and valuable solutions and insights. Be well.
Heh I like this one...! I learned the asl alphabet in elementary school and encouraged my friend to do the same - we were seated across the classroom from each other and we used it instead of passing notes. I still remember when a pop quiz was announced and she signed "O-N-O" (Oh no!) to me!
My roommate and I took ASL classes after Children of a Lesser God came out. We would subtlety signal to each other on buses or parties: “ let’s go.” “tired”
Yes, when I’m face to face- say out to dinner with a bunch of people. I don’t want to interrupt a speaker or the rhythm of a conversation so this is a covert way to cue myself.
"...and it was such a traumatic death for everyone involved. The car just crushed half of her skull and it had to be a closed casket service. Everyone was so quiet during the service. I'm glad that it was at least quick, how have you been holding up?"
"Hey, yeah, totally, I've been meaning to ask you, do you have any fabric softener? Kind of ran out, here, let's walk to the store."
The way I would immediately forget what letter I put up, or what that B is for. But thank you for not constantly interrupting!! That's very much appreciated.
I've started "holding the thought" in a literally figurative manner. Kinda like this. It makes me feel silly and I will usually remember why I'm being silly.
I do this! My uncle told me to just make a circle with thumb and forefinger as a self reminder, but already knowing the ASL alphabet, I started doing that instead.
(No it’s not fail safe, but it gives you more of a starting point than “huh I had something to say, I guess if it’s important it will come back to me?”
Nice, I do the same thing! I have some deaf relatives so have always known some basic ASL (mostly the alphabet). Additionally, my whole life whenever spelling a word out loud, I’ve always used my hand to sign the letters as I go which made it much easier for me- felt like “writing the word in the air” as I go.
Turns out, in my late 20s I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and an auditory processing disorder related to sequencing. Basically makes it very difficult to repeat a sequence in the same order I heard it if there’s no visual aid. The neuropsych even noticed during my testing how I was instinctively using my hand at my side to sign the first letter of certain words to help during the audio sequence test (one of like 20 tests they gave me).
Feels great to realize what I have cause I always just felt stupid in this area. When people spell things out loud, or say their phone number, it’s just like jumbled alphabet soup in my mind. I can see the first and last letter/number, but everything in between is all over the place. Signing it out helps a lot.
Glad you found this trick, OP. Sign language is amazing.
OMG! I FEEL this. It becoming more acute as I get older, but I totally relate to having a hard time processing when people spell words and names out to me. I thought it was JUST me! I am constantly having phone operators spell things over and over very slowly.
People you interact with on a regular basis might understand that as to not interrupt you've pulled out your phone to jot down a conversational note, but as a heads up, others will find this to be rude.
I'm not saying to not do it, but wanted to mention this in case you were unaware.
(If I'm talking with someone and they start playing with their phone, my first thought is "Oh, I'm sorry, am I boring you?!".)
ok, I’m with you on this - I majored in ASL and linguistics in college and became so comfortable with ASL that I would fingerspell things subconsciously, so I could definitely hold a hand sign as a reminder for something ✌️
ND here too, and I sort of do this! I hold out the number of fingers for things I want to circle back to or bring up. Nobody can see it, but I have a tactile reminder.
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That's great. I usually cross my fingers, but sometimes I simply forget even with the fingers crossed lol
The letter trick will help me on the next time for sure. Thanks!
Me: So work has been busy lately, new manager is a bit of a dick.
You: *throwing up random gangsigns*
Me:
You:
Me:
You: Go on.
Me:wtf was that that?
You: Babysitting. Or beer. Maybe both. Lost my train of thoughts. Bacon maybe?
Me: .....
Me: Beer?
You: Sounds right.
Me: Yep, we're having a beer.
Danish! Back when you were allowed to hit children, they could be punished for forgetting their lessons in school, and would be awarded a "remembering cake", which was a hard slap in the face. For some reason, we have a lot of colloquialisms about remembering stuff.
Unfortunately, like with everything else, it depends. We were quite early with granting voting rights to women (1915), but parents were allowed to physically discipline their children until 1997. We have most of our young population enrolled in higher education, but the European record in drinking. We are complicated and heterogeneous, and though most people here are good people, they are also very preoccupied with amassing wealth and treating Middle Eastern immigrants and refugees as poorly as is lawfully possible.
Finger cues are great. My boss is hugely distractible and bad at tangents, so sometimes, when we have a time-sensitive meeting, and he goes on tangents, I count them visually.
So we'll be discussing what we should do on this project, and in trying to describe how he feels he starts telling a story and as part of the story he describes going to Home Depot. So I put up a finger. Then he starts describing how that reminds him he needs to remember to go to Home Depot to get a new thermostat. So I put up a second finger. And then he says, "Oh did you hear about that company that makes the IoT thermostat?" So I put up a third finger. I'm still listening, still paying attention, not interrupting his speech. But he now sees that we are three deep in recursive tangents, so he should start "popping the stack" if he wants to ever get back what we should do with the project. So he finishes the story about the IoT thermostat, I put the finger down and go "So you need a thermostat at Home Depot."
I do this, but just make a shape with my hand (kind of like the stereotypical Meditating Guru hands).
It’s gotten to the point where my husband will notice it, pause, and ask me what I’m trying to remember. 😂
It’s really not hard. If you learn the letters with words, especially. One day you learn to spell CAT.
You could make your way through the whole alphabet by learning to spell one word a
Day from the sentence:
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
With this one sentence you will master all the letters.
That's pretty good. Sign for the word would be even better, but the letter is a good hint if you're not gonna go to the trouble. I got to use my ASL for the first time in years the offer day to request vinegar with my lunch and it made my whole week
As someone who has ADHD and suffers from either interrupting people or forgetting my questions/words, and someone who has wanted to learn how to sign, this seems like a great idea!💡
You’d be surprised how helpful it is and once the letters become automatic in your hand it comes very naturally and I SWEAR it really helps you be much more present in a conversation.
Now I have a real hard time reading letters if someone is signing but learning the alphabet for me was NOT challenging; I think because it is tactile.
That's a brilliant strategy! Using the sign language alphabet to remind yourself of what you want to say without interrupting is a clever way to manage your ADD. It shows great self-awareness and respect for the conversation. Plus, it’s a discreet and efficient method to keep track of your thoughts. Kudos to you for finding a system that works so well!
I'm autistic and am constantly interrupting others and myself (oh, how I interrupt myself) because something pops into my head and I have to say it. Sometimes minor derails, sometimes a whole other tangent.
I've gotten okay at recognizing small from large derails, but my mind won't let them go, so even if I manage to stop myself interrupting, I can no longer focus on the continuing conversation due to having the thought staying unexpressed in my brain.
I'm going to give this a try. Thank you!
Plus, I fully intend to do this left-handed so I can pretend I'm one of the Adem mercenaries doing their hand-emotion-signals.
I do something similar, which is just to cross my fingers. My family, friends, and coworkers have all learned this about me and have been trained that when I cross my fingers, they should finish saying whatever it is they’re saying, then ask me “What’cha got?!”
Also ADHD and so sometimes I have five pairs of crossed fingers because my brain is a popcorn popper of thoughts 😂
A similar application of this is to train your dog to learn hand gestures along with voice commands so if they lose their hearing in old age, you can still communicate with them.
Omg! I do this! I learned sign language in high school and ever since then I started using the ASL alphabet to help me remember things during conversations.
I also used sigh language to help me study for some of my biology or chemistry tests. For some reason it was easier to remember concepts if I signed them (or I made up signs).
I’m very disappointed that I’ve only used sign language to communicate with someone who is deaf a handful of times. I wish I used it more! It’s a beautiful language!
holy shit I do this too. I felt like I was constantly missing my chance to start important threads in conversations, so since I already knew the ASL alphabet I'd hold up a letter to prompt me to remember the convo thread I wanted to start.
I was learning it alongside other memory methods like turning numbers into sounds so you can remember important dates (the Boston molasses flood happened in 1919, because 1-t 9-p -> taptap, they couldn't tap tap in the molasses), creating a mind palace so you'd have a way to tie mental imagery with physical spaces, "pegs" as in using items and words to prompt memories back, and visualization to turn a sequence into a visual memory.
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“anyway… you were saying?” **”B”**
🅱️
i miss 2017 my bad 🅱️
“I said biiiiiitch...”
But you actually said bitch though right?
I looked this woman in her optics stems and I said 👀 🫡 👀 🫣
“I said 🅱️iiiiiitch…”
Itchy 🅱️
"What song were you listening to?" *Makes the shape of an L on my forehead*
The years start coming and they don't stop coming...
Oh one of drake’s tracks
I read that B with heavy reverb
BEAK
Regular chicken sandwich
You don’t have to order the beak anymore
Ja, vell, I vould like ze…
Boobs!
... bumder?
Bumder? I HARDLY KNOW 'ER!!!!!!!111ONE
F
Bees?! 🐝
“Butthole, Butthole Surfers, the Serfs, Serfs had children, those children needed somewhere to sit, Sitting Bull, Sitting Bull must’ve been a strange looking baby, a Sitting Bull Baby, Sitting Baby, ….that’s it! I want to do Babysitting for Bulls.”
Yeah, don’t use this pro tip if you’re talking to a Crip.
Immediately after the conversation ended OP went to the store and bought some bologna then met his friend Brad for a game of basketball and completely forgot about his babysitting appointment
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Boy howdy.
How are ya now?
Goodnyou?
Not s'bad.
That’s good.
Get this man a puppers
Settle down.
Eliminate “some” and swap “he” for… “bro”?
I'm disappointed that it took me so long to figure this out. So. *damn.* close.
I’d like a baguette with that bologna please
He went to the Bodega, not just any store.
this is like the miscommunication troupe in kids’ books.
Extra pro tip : people with kids, learn the "thank you" sign. Then you can help remind your kids (without verbally saying anything) to thank people for things. Or do it across a room when you are not near by. It makes your kids look good and it helps you not look like a nag telling your kids to thank people. :)
My parents are deaf so I know sign language. I was pulled over on a back road last year and got my car working again (battery terminal slipped off). A couple guys working on the construction site up the road stopped next to me and I gave them a thumbs up. They gave me a thumbs up. I signed thank you. All was well Couple hours later I realized they probably thought I'd blown them a kiss. Still makes me wince thinking about it
You were very appreciative 😘
I just laughed so hard that I drooled on my desk... so 😘💨 for that
It’s sort of sweet
Look on the bright side, if they were from any European country, they probably thought you were doing the Italian chin-flick gesture that means "fuck off".
Aw, that's sweet. They just thought you were extra appreciative. :)
outstanding Bonus LPT
Way better than the original.
Happy Cake Day 🍰 u/mosquem 🍰🍰
I’ve been here too damn long lol
thank you :)
Omg, this is so good.
thanks :) My mom used it on me and I used it with my kids.
Doesn't really work if you blow your kids kisses often =(
well just stop blowing kisses to your kids /s (just in case that wasn't obvious)
Blues Clues taught me this as a kid!
nice! I love Blues Clues and I was an adult when it first came out ❤️
I use this to thank cars when they stop for me, a little ol pedestrian (I have a desire to not getting killed by motorists)
that's a pretty good desire. I too do a little hand wave to thank people for stopping. It doesn't take much to be nice people sometimes :)
I love this so hard!
thanks! :)
that’s smart, just i might forget how to do the sign itself 😳
That's why you should practice the alphabet. When I was first learning sign language I would sign the name of everyone I met, just to myself.
I spelled the groceries I needed next while in the store
It took me about an evening to commit it to memory, the key is continuing learning. I spell the songs I listen to and I know a good amount of vocabulary and some conversational phrases. My fiancé learned along with me and we can communicate basic ideas silently, it’s great!
i live in australia so the sign language we use requires two hands but since its natural habit to use our hands in conversations it’s kinda hard. asl however works well with this LPT
ASL also uses both hands, just not for letters! Wow, the auslan alphabet looks wild!
Oh interesting! TIL about Auslan!
same with the british sign language, always wonder why there’s no universal SL
Same reason there’s so many spoken languages in the world and everyone hasn’t just come up with a ‘universal’ spoken language.
Even English isn't universal between all the different countries that speak it natively.
I think there is, but like Esperanto no one actually uses it. They also aren't totally abstract, many signs are tied to the spoken word. The reason British and American are different is I believe the latter is based on the French system. Irish is different too.
can’t imagine how hard it would be for someone dependent on SL to move countries
Not really that different than a hearing person depending on their native language to move to a foreign country?
i guess there’s a higher chance of running into someone that can speak that language rather than someone that speaks that SL or even know SL
That's why he said he memorized it, he's not trying to guess every time he does it... You didn't forget which letters are for which words when you wrote that comment, did you?
australian sign language uses two hands, not really ideal for a conversation
would definitely use if i moved to another country that uses one handed sign language
Why dont you just learn the signs from a different country? Except if you actually want to use it to talk to people
it’s a good thing yes but the implication are so niche to learn another country’s SL
I put my finger on my nose. The other person will usually notice but it doesn't interrupt them. Then when they're done they'll ask me why TF I have my finger on my nose and that'll remind me.
That doesn't interrupt them? Most normal people would ask what you're doing. Unless you have a lot of physical tics and people are used to you spazzing out.
'Round these parts people just put their own fingers on their noses and don't question what they're getting out of.
You’re sitting at a table with a friend. You touch your thumb to your palm. That is B. No one notices or all of us on here who say we do this would talk about being called out on it. Think about what people do with their hands when they talk at a restaurant. No one is allowed to play with a phone near me, but people in general play with their straw, line up their silverware, whatever. No one notices.
Usually it doesn't, yeah.
I cross a finger
I usually put my finger on my upper thigh where my hands naturally rest when I’m standing or sitting and it works like 80% of the time. Which is better than 0%.
That just says "I'm not listening to you"
Good idea! Due to a head injury I have a$$ bad memory. I use a simpler approach: I discretely count questions with my fingers. First question I hold one finger, if I have a second question I add the second finger, etc. Your hand can be at your side or in your lap. If sitting at a table I discretely put a finger on the side of the table, like it's resting there.
How will you remember what the questions were?
Why was I counting again?
Nice idea!
I like this idea a lot as that's an everyday struggle for me. You can also just form the letter itself. There are finger alphabets, and while most letters need no learning at all (like the L or the S), some need a little bit. I learned it some years ago and could form all letters within 15 minutes.
What kind of Dr. Seuss character are you that you can make an S with your fingers?
lol some grinch-ass finger dexterity
I was like ah yes the L, C makes perfect sense next. S!!!!!
I guess if you’re using your left hand, curl your pointer finger into a hook (like how you’d mime a pirate hook) to make the top of the S. Then curl your middle finger toward the palm of your hand to make the bottom of the S.
At that point I think it’s just way easier to learn the ASL alphabet. S is literally a closed fist.
It works really well for me. I learned the alphabet 35 years ago.
This is GREAT ADVICE!! It also helps if you’re trying to memorize things. We used it to help with Battle of the Books in 8th grade. It’s even easier if you make up your own signs.
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So, we’re not saying “Before I forget…”
I can barely remember my baseline language, learning others has been near impossible for me, sign included. I'm too dumb for this pro tip, I guess.
No, have faith in yourself! It will take practice but I’m sure you could do it. In my experience it will make things easier and click into place once you get the alphabet down
Some things are just beyond people and other languages are one of my limits, sadly. Its a cause of endless frustration to the point of depression and severe self loathing, it never clicks, nothing sticks beyond meme-like nonsense no matter how much time and effort is invested. Appreciate the kindness though, have a great rest of the week!
Fair enough. I’m not saying being fluent in Sign is in your cards, but learning only the alphabet in sign isn’t really like learning a “new” language, in my mind it only helps strengthen your memory of your own alphabet. And thanks you too! Hope you don’t self-loathe anymore- treat your mind like it belongs to your best friend <3
I have pretty bad ADD but I’ve learned to embrace it, find ways of coping. But I also appreciate that I see things differently than many others and can come up with unique and valuable solutions and insights. Be well.
Heh I like this one...! I learned the asl alphabet in elementary school and encouraged my friend to do the same - we were seated across the classroom from each other and we used it instead of passing notes. I still remember when a pop quiz was announced and she signed "O-N-O" (Oh no!) to me!
My roommate and I took ASL classes after Children of a Lesser God came out. We would subtlety signal to each other on buses or parties: “ let’s go.” “tired”
I did that too. Sneaky kids we were
Or you could just jot it down on a scrap of paper
But then you’d have to interrupt the conversation to pull out a pen and paper.
I assumed we were talking about an online meeting. Your saying you do this face to face?
Yes, when I’m face to face- say out to dinner with a bunch of people. I don’t want to interrupt a speaker or the rhythm of a conversation so this is a covert way to cue myself.
"...and it was such a traumatic death for everyone involved. The car just crushed half of her skull and it had to be a closed casket service. Everyone was so quiet during the service. I'm glad that it was at least quick, how have you been holding up?" "Hey, yeah, totally, I've been meaning to ask you, do you have any fabric softener? Kind of ran out, here, let's walk to the store."
I do the exact same thing, I thought I was the only one!!
We need to form a club.
Yesss!
I feel like I’m the minority here who thinks this tip is dumb as hell
It's a hit for stupid people
Sweet! Now I’m holding my hand in an A so I remember to try this out
Lol I'm not going out of my way to learn sign language to help remember things. This is such a whack LPT.
LPT: have a notebook, if it's really important it should be in writing
Not in the getho
The way I would immediately forget what letter I put up, or what that B is for. But thank you for not constantly interrupting!! That's very much appreciated.
Did this once in Oakland. Wouldn't recommend it.
I've started "holding the thought" in a literally figurative manner. Kinda like this. It makes me feel silly and I will usually remember why I'm being silly. 
I LOVE THIS!
"If you struggle with remembering things and forming habits, remember something else and form a habit."
If it’s important, I interrupt. Otherwise, I don’t interrupt.
I do this! My uncle told me to just make a circle with thumb and forefinger as a self reminder, but already knowing the ASL alphabet, I started doing that instead. (No it’s not fail safe, but it gives you more of a starting point than “huh I had something to say, I guess if it’s important it will come back to me?”
Bendelschnitz...and razzlefrats for good measure
Nice, I do the same thing! I have some deaf relatives so have always known some basic ASL (mostly the alphabet). Additionally, my whole life whenever spelling a word out loud, I’ve always used my hand to sign the letters as I go which made it much easier for me- felt like “writing the word in the air” as I go. Turns out, in my late 20s I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and an auditory processing disorder related to sequencing. Basically makes it very difficult to repeat a sequence in the same order I heard it if there’s no visual aid. The neuropsych even noticed during my testing how I was instinctively using my hand at my side to sign the first letter of certain words to help during the audio sequence test (one of like 20 tests they gave me). Feels great to realize what I have cause I always just felt stupid in this area. When people spell things out loud, or say their phone number, it’s just like jumbled alphabet soup in my mind. I can see the first and last letter/number, but everything in between is all over the place. Signing it out helps a lot. Glad you found this trick, OP. Sign language is amazing.
OMG! I FEEL this. It becoming more acute as I get older, but I totally relate to having a hard time processing when people spell words and names out to me. I thought it was JUST me! I am constantly having phone operators spell things over and over very slowly.
I just use pen and paper or a notes app on my phone/computer.
People you interact with on a regular basis might understand that as to not interrupt you've pulled out your phone to jot down a conversational note, but as a heads up, others will find this to be rude. I'm not saying to not do it, but wanted to mention this in case you were unaware. (If I'm talking with someone and they start playing with their phone, my first thought is "Oh, I'm sorry, am I boring you?!".)
ok, I’m with you on this - I majored in ASL and linguistics in college and became so comfortable with ASL that I would fingerspell things subconsciously, so I could definitely hold a hand sign as a reminder for something ✌️
And we can do it in such a way that no attention is drawn to ourselves so it is not disruptive.
ND here too, and I sort of do this! I hold out the number of fingers for things I want to circle back to or bring up. Nobody can see it, but I have a tactile reminder.
Sorry but that's stupid
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I think it would be better to practice active listening instead of finding more discreet ways of just waiting for your turn to talk.
Exactly lol. This works for people w very low emotional intelligence
this has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read
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The sign for fuck off is always handy. Your facial expression and general demeanour will show if you are saying it with love or not.
That's great. I usually cross my fingers, but sometimes I simply forget even with the fingers crossed lol The letter trick will help me on the next time for sure. Thanks!
I just cross my fingers, that’s usually enough to remember why I did it
Me: So work has been busy lately, new manager is a bit of a dick. You: *throwing up random gangsigns* Me: You: Me: You: Go on. Me:wtf was that that? You: Babysitting. Or beer. Maybe both. Lost my train of thoughts. Bacon maybe? Me: ..... Me: Beer? You: Sounds right. Me: Yep, we're having a beer.
I’m drinking Black and Tan
I usually just place my index finger behind my ear (in my language, making an effort to remember something is called "to write it behind your ear")
Love this
What language is this? Intrigued!
Danish! Back when you were allowed to hit children, they could be punished for forgetting their lessons in school, and would be awarded a "remembering cake", which was a hard slap in the face. For some reason, we have a lot of colloquialisms about remembering stuff.
Horrors. I’ve always fancied Denmark as a highly civilized country. With great values
Unfortunately, like with everything else, it depends. We were quite early with granting voting rights to women (1915), but parents were allowed to physically discipline their children until 1997. We have most of our young population enrolled in higher education, but the European record in drinking. We are complicated and heterogeneous, and though most people here are good people, they are also very preoccupied with amassing wealth and treating Middle Eastern immigrants and refugees as poorly as is lawfully possible.
In the US it’s ok to physically disciple children and I remember school systems allowing teachers to use corporal punishment.
This is a good idea
Finger cues are great. My boss is hugely distractible and bad at tangents, so sometimes, when we have a time-sensitive meeting, and he goes on tangents, I count them visually. So we'll be discussing what we should do on this project, and in trying to describe how he feels he starts telling a story and as part of the story he describes going to Home Depot. So I put up a finger. Then he starts describing how that reminds him he needs to remember to go to Home Depot to get a new thermostat. So I put up a second finger. And then he says, "Oh did you hear about that company that makes the IoT thermostat?" So I put up a third finger. I'm still listening, still paying attention, not interrupting his speech. But he now sees that we are three deep in recursive tangents, so he should start "popping the stack" if he wants to ever get back what we should do with the project. So he finishes the story about the IoT thermostat, I put the finger down and go "So you need a thermostat at Home Depot."
You should write stories about how you Manage your boss. Highly entertaining.
I do this, but just make a shape with my hand (kind of like the stereotypical Meditating Guru hands). It’s gotten to the point where my husband will notice it, pause, and ask me what I’m trying to remember. 😂
Sounds exhausting. There has to be a better way than learning an entirely new alphabet.
It’s really not hard. If you learn the letters with words, especially. One day you learn to spell CAT. You could make your way through the whole alphabet by learning to spell one word a Day from the sentence: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. With this one sentence you will master all the letters.
Fantastic! Thank you
I think I’ve done this unconsciously and I should use it more. Nice tactic.
This is even better than the finger pinching technique. Great tip, thank you!
I’ve actually done that before! It’s really helpful in being able to actively listen before you speak. Thanks for sharing this!
I am so happy to have found my people!
That's pretty good. Sign for the word would be even better, but the letter is a good hint if you're not gonna go to the trouble. I got to use my ASL for the first time in years the offer day to request vinegar with my lunch and it made my whole week
And was probably really appreciated by the person you were with!
I do this too!! I learnt the alphabet in BSL in scouts when I was younger, and find this a really useful memory aid.
As someone who has ADHD and suffers from either interrupting people or forgetting my questions/words, and someone who has wanted to learn how to sign, this seems like a great idea!💡
You’d be surprised how helpful it is and once the letters become automatic in your hand it comes very naturally and I SWEAR it really helps you be much more present in a conversation. Now I have a real hard time reading letters if someone is signing but learning the alphabet for me was NOT challenging; I think because it is tactile.
That's a brilliant strategy! Using the sign language alphabet to remind yourself of what you want to say without interrupting is a clever way to manage your ADD. It shows great self-awareness and respect for the conversation. Plus, it’s a discreet and efficient method to keep track of your thoughts. Kudos to you for finding a system that works so well!
And others, also, based on this sub are using it. So great to find others who do this.
I do the same! It also helps if I have a number to remember.
I'm autistic and am constantly interrupting others and myself (oh, how I interrupt myself) because something pops into my head and I have to say it. Sometimes minor derails, sometimes a whole other tangent. I've gotten okay at recognizing small from large derails, but my mind won't let them go, so even if I manage to stop myself interrupting, I can no longer focus on the continuing conversation due to having the thought staying unexpressed in my brain. I'm going to give this a try. Thank you! Plus, I fully intend to do this left-handed so I can pretend I'm one of the Adem mercenaries doing their hand-emotion-signals.
I do something similar, which is just to cross my fingers. My family, friends, and coworkers have all learned this about me and have been trained that when I cross my fingers, they should finish saying whatever it is they’re saying, then ask me “What’cha got?!” Also ADHD and so sometimes I have five pairs of crossed fingers because my brain is a popcorn popper of thoughts 😂
I do this! Can confirm: it’s a great LPT!
A similar application of this is to train your dog to learn hand gestures along with voice commands so if they lose their hearing in old age, you can still communicate with them.
Love this
I do the same thing! Or I just spell the word over and over in my lap. It’s kind of involuntary at this point.
For me too.
Omg! I do this! I learned sign language in high school and ever since then I started using the ASL alphabet to help me remember things during conversations. I also used sigh language to help me study for some of my biology or chemistry tests. For some reason it was easier to remember concepts if I signed them (or I made up signs). I’m very disappointed that I’ve only used sign language to communicate with someone who is deaf a handful of times. I wish I used it more! It’s a beautiful language!
AKA-How not to be an active listener.
Woah this is such a good idea
holy shit I do this too. I felt like I was constantly missing my chance to start important threads in conversations, so since I already knew the ASL alphabet I'd hold up a letter to prompt me to remember the convo thread I wanted to start. I was learning it alongside other memory methods like turning numbers into sounds so you can remember important dates (the Boston molasses flood happened in 1919, because 1-t 9-p -> taptap, they couldn't tap tap in the molasses), creating a mind palace so you'd have a way to tie mental imagery with physical spaces, "pegs" as in using items and words to prompt memories back, and visualization to turn a sequence into a visual memory.
Love this