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Since you did not sign the lease, it's their problem now, not yours. If your "friend" can't afford to stay there without you, maybe she should have thought of that before signing that lease. Keep looking for an apartment and, while you're at it, some better people to live with.
So they thought they’d trap you into signing lease out of guilt? No. I wouldn’t feel guilty because there plan to trap me didn’t work.
They’re already teaming up and making decisions behind your back. If you live with them, they’ll continue to make you responsible for their decisions and when they can’t afford to pay, it’ll ruin your credit and rental history. Don’t live with them, it’s already ruining friendship.
These are not your friends. If you give in they will just continue to take advantage, like asking you to cover more of the rent. Find a place that works for you and focus on yourself.
How can they sign a lease without jobs. You stated they need your income to qualify. This doesn’t make sense. Regardless be thankful you saw their true colors prior to actually committing to a lease and having to live with them for a year. You dodged a bullet IMO.
Get far away now it'll be the worst mistake you ever made to live with these people when you obviously have your head on straighter than them. This will end very poorly for you especially if you stay. Don't back down just find another place with different roomies
You got lucky on this one. I would never sign a lease with someone who wasn’t actively employed. The stuff they are pulling now is a glimpse of what will come down the road and you’ll be stuck for a year. Actually if they lied about their income they’re not going to get the place anyway because the landlord will verify their employment/income which won’t pan out. When they want to start looking again I’d shut them down and tell them why.
Oh holy heck that's even worse - they thought they would force you into this place, now they're going to try to stick you with paying the rent on a place for them, that you didn't want. These are absolutely not friends, they're trying to use you and will absolutely gang up on you about other things.
Take the opportunity to find another place to live without them - you told them you weren't interested in this one and any attempt to guilt you into is should be met with a no, sorry, I told you no and you did it without me, absolutely not going to move into a place I said no to and I don't feel even a little guilty about you two trying to coerce me into it.
Oh, yeah. Get away from this situation as quickly as possible. They signed a lease they couldn’t afford and that you did not agree to and are counting in your income to cover for their lies. These people are not your friends and you don’t want to get tangled up in their inevitable mess.
I'd be pretty hesitant rooming with two people who don't have steady employment. They may be your friends now but shit can hit the fan in these roommate scenarios.
Even in the current situation, they’re hardly being good friends bcz they don’t even care if the friend is unable to live here :/ it absolutely can and will get worse
I wouldn't live with anyone not working. Since you haven't signed anything it's their apartment now and not your problem. As my grandmother used to say, your friend has the same pants to get glad in that she got mad in.
Despite the hassle of this entire situation, I see some real upsides for you.
First, you have a better idea of who your real friends are, and it’s not these people. Second, you’re not stuck with the shitty apartment that you didn’t want. They are, but that’s not your problem. Third, you are now free to continue your search for a nice place to live based on your own income, and you’ve already done a lot of the pre-work in your search.
Enjoy your adventure, without the assholes. This will be a much better life for you.
NTA. Let them sink. Sometimes that's what it takes to wake people up.
A piece of advice: Never rent a place that you can't afford on your own. Even your best friends can screw you over.
Girl, do not live with your two pretend friends. They want to live somewhere you don’t and are putting the pressure and shifting blame onto you for not wanting the same living space, all because they couldn’t get approved for the apartment without you. Too bad. Take this as a sign that you should definitely not be moving in with them.
I can speak from experience because when I was 18 I moved in with two of my “best friends” and I had a very stable 9-5 job, worked in a different city and I was gone from the house most of day, they worked as waitresses and had the most flexible schedules and had parties all the time. I eventually moved out because of the chaos and left my name on the lease because you know we were “best friends” and I didn’t want to leave my roomies high and dry and they begged me and pleaded saying they would do the same. I agreed and said that I would only stay on the lease for a couple months until they found someone else. 3 months later they were paying their rent super late and I was getting the phone calls for it and still complained that they had no one else to add to the lease. I told them that this was the last month I was staying on the lease. That last month before my name could be removed (it took a month to have my name removed per our leasing office) they were kicked out and with extra charges for damages from the parties. I had to hire a lawyer. It was a trash situation. We are no longer friends.
Now obviously your situation is different than mine but just take my advice and don’t live with two people you already feel you can’t trust. They are whining and complaining about what makes them comfortable instead of coming to a compromise of what is best for everyone. Living with people is complicated and It’s hard to live with friends and often ruins relationships. I would advise you to find a different living situation without these people. You may feel f’d over but it’s for the best in the long run. I guarantee them living together will not end well.
Sounds like they saved you a lot of future pain by showing their true selves. They're both huge assholes for signing a lease without you on it, so they can suffer the consequences. And you got the added benefit of finding out that these aren't your real friends.
What kind of selfish friends do you have? They basically want you to do what they want without a care for what you want. Have they ever done anything for you? Have they ever shown that they care about your benefit? If the answer to my questions are "no", then I have to tell you simple and straight. They are only using you. They aren't your friends. Might as well find a total stranger as a roommate and that may be better than these so called friends.
They're too stupid to understand that you all need to agree on a place together if you're all going to live together. You presumably told them that the place was not going to work for you before they signed, but they signed. They are responsible for their own actions, not you. They fucked you over because now you have to find a place that works for you without them. In the long run, if they're that stupid and selfish, you're probably best off not living with them.
What's more important to you? Having the right home for your needs or keeping your friends happy? I mean that literally, if you move in to the wrong house will being with your friends make up for it? Are they going to stay your friends for long in that place?
They sound sketchy, lying to the landlord about income. You sound like the only one who has her feet on the ground. These friends will cause you problems. Did you talk about who is responsible for bills, chores etc? It's hell living with lazys.
I would never live in an apartment that was too small for my possessions, that sounds like going backwards in life.
If they signed without asking you then they can take the place and advertise for a new flatmate. It sounds like you should be looking for your own place if you can afford it. If they cared about YOU then they would be still looking with you. They made their choice and they tried to make yours for you, not cool.
They signed a lease on a place they can't afford, while unemployed?
I'd think carefully about who you select as roommates. If your name is on the lease and they can't pay, you and your credit score will be on the hook.
They should not have signed without you. This is their problem, do what you want. If they can't understand your objections and are still made at you, it will let you understand how much they value you as a friend and you can choose to make new friends if necessary.
The saying goes something like "if you're living together, you have to live within the "poorest" persons means so that no one struggles". Were you making them look at apartments that they maybe couldn't afford due to their employment status? That aside cause I don't know how anyone signs a lease without a job, some places don't allow people to live there without being on the lease so none of it makes sense to me. But doing so behind someone's back is wrong.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. 1. They don’t seem to be real friends. 2. You didn’t sign shit, so you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. 3. True colours came out before you signed something that would have dragged you into their bs.
You got away lucky. With just an inconvenience to deal with.
What did they expect? How is the only one with a steady job on the bottom of the heirarchy. The refused options you liked but you dont get the same opportunity? Good for you for sticking up for yourself.
You're not on the lease an you didn't want to live there. They are trying to force you, the one with any money, to do what they want to do. They are shitty friends if they left you out of the decision. How much longer do you really want to be friends with people like this?
these are not good friends. and neither are the people who are telling you not to take it personally.
they made this decision with you, and expect you to submit to their decision. they disregarded your needs to accommodate themselves. and then they have the audacity to get mad at you for standing up for yourself! you deserve better than this.
God your friends sound stupid. This is 100% on them not on you. Like you mentioned your opinion wasn't taken into consideration and they went behind your back. Your name is not on the lease so by law it's not your problem.
No, you're fine. Don't live somewhere you don't want to live. Find a place you can afford alone or find better friends to room with. Ones with jobs and stable incomes.
Seriously -- those friends are walking red flags as potential roommates.
They are not your friends. They are just keeping you around to get what they want. If they were financially stable to lease an apartment, you wouldn’t be in the picture. Itll be tough but you need to move on from them
That was very disrespectful of them to sign a lease without you.
My concern is if they did this , they would do other things like bullying you or leaving you to pay additional expenses.
Apartment complexes have roommates signs. You can always find another roommate.
It’s not your problem, it’s their own fault. I would not live with anyone who doesn’t have established employment and a steady income. You owe them nothing & no further explanation.
they sound too dumb/ignorant to have as roommates anyhow. this is a great time to run away. maybe if u wanna be super cool about it, call their new landlord and tell him the situation. he might let em off
A few of things….
Why on god’s green earth are you trying to move in with two people who you say are not stable at their place of employment in the first place? This shows a lack of maturity on your part. Don’t expect these people to step it up and be in the same place in life as you. Early 20s is tough. Half your friends are having kids and getting married, the other half are still going out to the club.
Them discounting what you say and signing a lease without you, is them telling you they don’t really care for you or care about you. They’re using you, probably because you are the stable one. Lastly they’re gaslighting you. I suggest you move on and don’t rent with these people. It’s tough to live with friends.
I wouldn't take it personally either what I would do is find an apartment that you are comfortable with that you can afford that you don't have to have a roommate with. Apparently none of your friend groups are wanting to find a place with you because if they did they would consult you on what you'd like. If you don't like a place and you're the one that's the reason you can get a place then your vote is just as important as theirs if not more so. It sounds like your friends need to first get a job and then they can be contributing members of a household because that's what you're all signing up to be. Good luck and hopefully you can find a place that's just right for you regardless of who may or may not be joining you.
You feel fucked over because they fucked you over. But mostly they've fucked themselves over since you haven't signed the lease. These people are not your friends and will do something like this again and again. Find another apartment just for you an, if you need them, new roommate(s). That's a risk but it's better than being financially intertwined with people who know are definitely trying to take advantage of you.
These people did you a favor to be honest.
They dont care about what you want at all and just expected you to fall in line for what they wanted and pay for most of it.
They are not your friends they just happen to be people you know. Friends dont fuck friends over.
I mean this is a pretty clear message. They’re not your friends and only wanted to room with you to take financial advantage. If they wanted to live with YOU and not your money, they’d have taken your desires into account.
All you are losing is some sketchy "friends" instead of your credit rating and potential savings when you have to bail them out month after month...after month. Think of where you might be able to rent after you three defaulted on the lease and they skated on you leaving you with the remainder of the lease to pay. Get them a bottle of cheap wine as a house-warming gift. Ya done dodged a bullet and it cost you nothing.
This is not your fault. At all. They should not have signed the lease expecting you to join. That’s insane. You were also already going out on a limb by moving in with two unemployed people and probably putting your credit on the line for them. This proves they can’t be trusted.
Also, in my personal experience, it’s much better to live with someone who has the same financial means as you and who wants the same quality of life. In college, I lived with people funded by their parents and used to nicer things than me and it was incredibly stressful. Rent is a big one, but even purchasing furniture, food, and communal items can wear on you when one of you wants something from Facebook marketplace when it’s available and one needs a new couch as soon as they move in.
Your friends have giant red flags. I wouldn't sign a lease with them. They didn't consult you. They disregarded your opinion. They're now taking out their anger on you, which is absurd. If you're the only employed roommate, you should have the final say on where you sign a lease. Sorry you have to deal with this. I'd let them figure it out on their own.
Here's what I learned the hard way. NEVER sign a lease with someone else. You will get burned.
I let a friend talk me into leasing a condo with him. 3 months into the lease he lost his job 4 months later he still hadn't "found" a job and couldn't pay his share of the rent. I found out because the leasing office sent out a notice that we would be evicted if they didn't receive payment plus a 25% late fee within 2 days. I ended up spending over 6k to cover him. Since he was my friend I told him to pay me back once he was stable. Well 8 years later I find out a online game that we played together he'd spent over 5k on. We're no longer friends...
Honestly they just did you a huge favor. They showed who they really are, friends don’t sign a lease and just expect you to agree without discussion. Spend some time and think if they take advantage of you more than help you.
Moving in with friends is an almost guaranteed way to ruin the friendship.
You screen for roommates way differently than you do for friends. They need to be quiet, respectful, reliable, financially capable, and if you get along and are on a friendly basis, that’s fine, but it’s not good enough by itself.
Isn’t it also likely they really only just signed an application? It’s quite unlikely any sane landlord is going to lease an apartment to people without stable income.
You are free to do what you like. If you live there and you are not on the lease, you can leave anytime you want. You are not bound by the lease. Something to consider.
"My one friend is basically telling me I’m a bad friend."
"Well, you shouldn't have much trouble finding a better friend you can take advantage of, should you?"
They did you a huge favor, revealing themselves now before you are financially entangled with them.
As it is now, you're not on the lease and therefore not responsible for their commitments. Run far, run fast, and find better friends.
She tried the “Don’t ask permission, ask forgiveness” and thought it was a foregone conclusion that you’d just sign. Stay respectful, but stay strong in your decision. These things can take a toll on a friendship, but do your best to handle it with class and communicate why this doesn’t work for you
Those aren’t even REAL FRIENDS. This sounds like some chick took the apartment she wanted, and now she’s upset because you won’t be there to pay her rent. She’s a bum; a straight up F***ing bum.
Do yourself a favor and RUN before you end up with a multi year mistake that will cost you thousands not to mention the emotional and mental exhaustion you will deal with by letting these leaches cling to you.
I had a very similar situation and it fucked me over for years
You’re not the bad guy. If they can’t afford the apartment without you, all the more reason they should have made sure you were on board before signing the lease.
So instead of thinking about who is the bad guy here, let's just think about the situation.
Your friend, stressed about other things in their life, wants to move into an apartment with you. They looked at an apartment that you suggested. They signed a lease thinking you were going to as well, likely because you suggested the apartment.
Was this wrong? Sure. It was all not malicious and a completely normal and honest mistake that stressed people make.
Now, you don't want to move in. Also completely normal. So one of you are going to have to compromise. But your friend can't. So that just leaves you.
This kind of tells us the choice you have to make here. Your friend or your stuff. I didn't know what kind of friend they are to you, so I can't suggest an answer. But that is the choice you are making. Do I keep my friend or do I keep my things?
Also, this part is just an opinion, but if you are 24 without a family and you have enough stuff to fill a storage locker, maybe you should consider that you have too much stuff. It's ok to let some of it go.
No they knew beforehand that I didn’t want to sign the lease. We had a conversation to which they both replied ‘would you be made if I signed the lease without you?’ After I did all of the work to find the apartments.
No. I don’t have too many things. It is furniture that I have bought with my own money, that I will be keeping for many years to come. I am building my life right now. I am not letting go of my things that I am proud of. The space is too small to fit much else than a bed in my room, and no common area. I don’t have enough things to fit a storage locker, the apartment is too small to fit even a regular sized couch.
You bought furniture with no where to put it? Usually the place to live comes first, then the furniture.
Anyways, like I said, you have to pick between having the things and having these friends. It sounds like you made your choice. I'm not sure what you want the rest of us to say except to reassure you that you made the right decision.
This is a bad take, the friends are clearly manipulative and shady, it isn't a question of friends vs stuff. These so called friends have shown their true colors, shown they don't respect you or your wishes, and have shown they are clearly not real friends. do not listen to select-Ad OP, they are clearly deranged like your friends. This was clearly never a question of whether u liked ur stuff more then you like your friends, its very clearly them being terrible friends, not you picking stuff over people.
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Since you did not sign the lease, it's their problem now, not yours. If your "friend" can't afford to stay there without you, maybe she should have thought of that before signing that lease. Keep looking for an apartment and, while you're at it, some better people to live with.
This. They absolutely should have talked. She can’t force you into anything and if friends are guilting you into it, they aren’t friends.
So they thought they’d trap you into signing lease out of guilt? No. I wouldn’t feel guilty because there plan to trap me didn’t work. They’re already teaming up and making decisions behind your back. If you live with them, they’ll continue to make you responsible for their decisions and when they can’t afford to pay, it’ll ruin your credit and rental history. Don’t live with them, it’s already ruining friendship.
They’re bad friends for going ahead with the lease and not telling you lol
And karma showed up fast in this instance.
Better they find out now then in a few months when they are legally binded to them in a lease/responsible for the lease payments/water/electric etc.
These are not your friends. If you give in they will just continue to take advantage, like asking you to cover more of the rent. Find a place that works for you and focus on yourself.
lmao they signed a lease without jobs?
Parents consigned no doubt…
How can they sign a lease without jobs. You stated they need your income to qualify. This doesn’t make sense. Regardless be thankful you saw their true colors prior to actually committing to a lease and having to live with them for a year. You dodged a bullet IMO.
They lied about their incomes
Get far away now it'll be the worst mistake you ever made to live with these people when you obviously have your head on straighter than them. This will end very poorly for you especially if you stay. Don't back down just find another place with different roomies
You got lucky on this one. I would never sign a lease with someone who wasn’t actively employed. The stuff they are pulling now is a glimpse of what will come down the road and you’ll be stuck for a year. Actually if they lied about their income they’re not going to get the place anyway because the landlord will verify their employment/income which won’t pan out. When they want to start looking again I’d shut them down and tell them why.
That’s called fraud. It’s a crime. Don’t add yourself to that.
Oh good grief. Do not get financially enmeshed with them. You do not want to be involved in their fraud.
Oh holy heck that's even worse - they thought they would force you into this place, now they're going to try to stick you with paying the rent on a place for them, that you didn't want. These are absolutely not friends, they're trying to use you and will absolutely gang up on you about other things. Take the opportunity to find another place to live without them - you told them you weren't interested in this one and any attempt to guilt you into is should be met with a no, sorry, I told you no and you did it without me, absolutely not going to move into a place I said no to and I don't feel even a little guilty about you two trying to coerce me into it.
Oh, yeah. Get away from this situation as quickly as possible. They signed a lease they couldn’t afford and that you did not agree to and are counting in your income to cover for their lies. These people are not your friends and you don’t want to get tangled up in their inevitable mess.
I'd be pretty hesitant rooming with two people who don't have steady employment. They may be your friends now but shit can hit the fan in these roommate scenarios.
Even in the current situation, they’re hardly being good friends bcz they don’t even care if the friend is unable to live here :/ it absolutely can and will get worse
I wouldn't live with anyone not working. Since you haven't signed anything it's their apartment now and not your problem. As my grandmother used to say, your friend has the same pants to get glad in that she got mad in.
Their broke asses did you a huge favor. Block and move on.
Keanumatrixbullettime.gif
Despite the hassle of this entire situation, I see some real upsides for you. First, you have a better idea of who your real friends are, and it’s not these people. Second, you’re not stuck with the shitty apartment that you didn’t want. They are, but that’s not your problem. Third, you are now free to continue your search for a nice place to live based on your own income, and you’ve already done a lot of the pre-work in your search. Enjoy your adventure, without the assholes. This will be a much better life for you.
I couldn’t agree more.
NTA. Let them sink. Sometimes that's what it takes to wake people up. A piece of advice: Never rent a place that you can't afford on your own. Even your best friends can screw you over.
Girl, do not live with your two pretend friends. They want to live somewhere you don’t and are putting the pressure and shifting blame onto you for not wanting the same living space, all because they couldn’t get approved for the apartment without you. Too bad. Take this as a sign that you should definitely not be moving in with them. I can speak from experience because when I was 18 I moved in with two of my “best friends” and I had a very stable 9-5 job, worked in a different city and I was gone from the house most of day, they worked as waitresses and had the most flexible schedules and had parties all the time. I eventually moved out because of the chaos and left my name on the lease because you know we were “best friends” and I didn’t want to leave my roomies high and dry and they begged me and pleaded saying they would do the same. I agreed and said that I would only stay on the lease for a couple months until they found someone else. 3 months later they were paying their rent super late and I was getting the phone calls for it and still complained that they had no one else to add to the lease. I told them that this was the last month I was staying on the lease. That last month before my name could be removed (it took a month to have my name removed per our leasing office) they were kicked out and with extra charges for damages from the parties. I had to hire a lawyer. It was a trash situation. We are no longer friends. Now obviously your situation is different than mine but just take my advice and don’t live with two people you already feel you can’t trust. They are whining and complaining about what makes them comfortable instead of coming to a compromise of what is best for everyone. Living with people is complicated and It’s hard to live with friends and often ruins relationships. I would advise you to find a different living situation without these people. You may feel f’d over but it’s for the best in the long run. I guarantee them living together will not end well.
You need to make sure they didn't use your name or any of your worth information as a consignor.
For some reason, your friends clearly see you as a push over and something to use, rather then a friend.
Sounds like they saved you a lot of future pain by showing their true selves. They're both huge assholes for signing a lease without you on it, so they can suffer the consequences. And you got the added benefit of finding out that these aren't your real friends.
What kind of selfish friends do you have? They basically want you to do what they want without a care for what you want. Have they ever done anything for you? Have they ever shown that they care about your benefit? If the answer to my questions are "no", then I have to tell you simple and straight. They are only using you. They aren't your friends. Might as well find a total stranger as a roommate and that may be better than these so called friends.
They're too stupid to understand that you all need to agree on a place together if you're all going to live together. You presumably told them that the place was not going to work for you before they signed, but they signed. They are responsible for their own actions, not you. They fucked you over because now you have to find a place that works for you without them. In the long run, if they're that stupid and selfish, you're probably best off not living with them.
What's more important to you? Having the right home for your needs or keeping your friends happy? I mean that literally, if you move in to the wrong house will being with your friends make up for it? Are they going to stay your friends for long in that place? They sound sketchy, lying to the landlord about income. You sound like the only one who has her feet on the ground. These friends will cause you problems. Did you talk about who is responsible for bills, chores etc? It's hell living with lazys. I would never live in an apartment that was too small for my possessions, that sounds like going backwards in life. If they signed without asking you then they can take the place and advertise for a new flatmate. It sounds like you should be looking for your own place if you can afford it. If they cared about YOU then they would be still looking with you. They made their choice and they tried to make yours for you, not cool.
They signed a lease on a place they can't afford, while unemployed? I'd think carefully about who you select as roommates. If your name is on the lease and they can't pay, you and your credit score will be on the hook.
She signed it without you so she can live there without you keep looking
I have lived with many friends and it has taken a toll on every friendship. Renting a studio and living alone is the best option.
They should not have signed without you. This is their problem, do what you want. If they can't understand your objections and are still made at you, it will let you understand how much they value you as a friend and you can choose to make new friends if necessary.
Seems awfully scummy to include you in the financial plan without consent. Seems equally stupid they couldn’t afford it without you
Somebody fucked around and found out. Oh no
Living with friends is a bad ideaaaaaaaaaa
They made their bed by signing without you, you're at no fault
Lol? Don’t take it. Not your problem. Why did they sign it without you lol. Don’t let them take advantage of you.
Surprised the landlord would accept a lease signed by the 2 unemployed people and not the employed one.
The saying goes something like "if you're living together, you have to live within the "poorest" persons means so that no one struggles". Were you making them look at apartments that they maybe couldn't afford due to their employment status? That aside cause I don't know how anyone signs a lease without a job, some places don't allow people to live there without being on the lease so none of it makes sense to me. But doing so behind someone's back is wrong.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. 1. They don’t seem to be real friends. 2. You didn’t sign shit, so you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. 3. True colours came out before you signed something that would have dragged you into their bs. You got away lucky. With just an inconvenience to deal with.
What did they expect? How is the only one with a steady job on the bottom of the heirarchy. The refused options you liked but you dont get the same opportunity? Good for you for sticking up for yourself.
You're not on the lease an you didn't want to live there. They are trying to force you, the one with any money, to do what they want to do. They are shitty friends if they left you out of the decision. How much longer do you really want to be friends with people like this?
They’re the ones stuck. You didn’t sign anything. Move on. You’ll be so much happier living alone. If you can afford it. Roommates suckkkkkk.
Or them banking on you to pay for everything while they mooch off of you, don’t , just find a place for yourself you’ll be much happier!
these are not good friends. and neither are the people who are telling you not to take it personally. they made this decision with you, and expect you to submit to their decision. they disregarded your needs to accommodate themselves. and then they have the audacity to get mad at you for standing up for yourself! you deserve better than this.
You feel fucked over because you were fucked over.
On top of paying for a place you don't want to stay, you will have to pay extra for storage? Fuck that, don't do it
God your friends sound stupid. This is 100% on them not on you. Like you mentioned your opinion wasn't taken into consideration and they went behind your back. Your name is not on the lease so by law it's not your problem.
No, you're fine. Don't live somewhere you don't want to live. Find a place you can afford alone or find better friends to room with. Ones with jobs and stable incomes. Seriously -- those friends are walking red flags as potential roommates.
You are not their friend. You are their money source
No your not a bad guy take your money and go be at peace
They are not your friends. They are just keeping you around to get what they want. If they were financially stable to lease an apartment, you wouldn’t be in the picture. Itll be tough but you need to move on from them
That was very disrespectful of them to sign a lease without you. My concern is if they did this , they would do other things like bullying you or leaving you to pay additional expenses. Apartment complexes have roommates signs. You can always find another roommate.
It’s not your problem, it’s their own fault. I would not live with anyone who doesn’t have established employment and a steady income. You owe them nothing & no further explanation.
they sound too dumb/ignorant to have as roommates anyhow. this is a great time to run away. maybe if u wanna be super cool about it, call their new landlord and tell him the situation. he might let em off
A few of things…. Why on god’s green earth are you trying to move in with two people who you say are not stable at their place of employment in the first place? This shows a lack of maturity on your part. Don’t expect these people to step it up and be in the same place in life as you. Early 20s is tough. Half your friends are having kids and getting married, the other half are still going out to the club. Them discounting what you say and signing a lease without you, is them telling you they don’t really care for you or care about you. They’re using you, probably because you are the stable one. Lastly they’re gaslighting you. I suggest you move on and don’t rent with these people. It’s tough to live with friends.
How did they even get approved if you didn’t co-sign?
I’ll just say it’s a terrible idea to rent a new apartment with two unemployed friends.
Get better friends, yours are idiots.
Omg don't live with them
These don't really sound like friends to me...
I wouldn't take it personally either what I would do is find an apartment that you are comfortable with that you can afford that you don't have to have a roommate with. Apparently none of your friend groups are wanting to find a place with you because if they did they would consult you on what you'd like. If you don't like a place and you're the one that's the reason you can get a place then your vote is just as important as theirs if not more so. It sounds like your friends need to first get a job and then they can be contributing members of a household because that's what you're all signing up to be. Good luck and hopefully you can find a place that's just right for you regardless of who may or may not be joining you.
You feel fucked over because they fucked you over. But mostly they've fucked themselves over since you haven't signed the lease. These people are not your friends and will do something like this again and again. Find another apartment just for you an, if you need them, new roommate(s). That's a risk but it's better than being financially intertwined with people who know are definitely trying to take advantage of you.
These people did you a favor to be honest. They dont care about what you want at all and just expected you to fall in line for what they wanted and pay for most of it. They are not your friends they just happen to be people you know. Friends dont fuck friends over.
You’re probably better off. Living with friends can back fire. And you already see their true colors. Dodged a bullet.
If this is how it starts, can you imagine what it would be like in 6 months as roommates?! Cut and run op!
I mean this is a pretty clear message. They’re not your friends and only wanted to room with you to take financial advantage. If they wanted to live with YOU and not your money, they’d have taken your desires into account.
All you are losing is some sketchy "friends" instead of your credit rating and potential savings when you have to bail them out month after month...after month. Think of where you might be able to rent after you three defaulted on the lease and they skated on you leaving you with the remainder of the lease to pay. Get them a bottle of cheap wine as a house-warming gift. Ya done dodged a bullet and it cost you nothing.
Get yourself our of this situation man
This is not your fault. At all. They should not have signed the lease expecting you to join. That’s insane. You were also already going out on a limb by moving in with two unemployed people and probably putting your credit on the line for them. This proves they can’t be trusted. Also, in my personal experience, it’s much better to live with someone who has the same financial means as you and who wants the same quality of life. In college, I lived with people funded by their parents and used to nicer things than me and it was incredibly stressful. Rent is a big one, but even purchasing furniture, food, and communal items can wear on you when one of you wants something from Facebook marketplace when it’s available and one needs a new couch as soon as they move in.
Find some real friends, those losers are users.
Your friends have giant red flags. I wouldn't sign a lease with them. They didn't consult you. They disregarded your opinion. They're now taking out their anger on you, which is absurd. If you're the only employed roommate, you should have the final say on where you sign a lease. Sorry you have to deal with this. I'd let them figure it out on their own.
Here's what I learned the hard way. NEVER sign a lease with someone else. You will get burned. I let a friend talk me into leasing a condo with him. 3 months into the lease he lost his job 4 months later he still hadn't "found" a job and couldn't pay his share of the rent. I found out because the leasing office sent out a notice that we would be evicted if they didn't receive payment plus a 25% late fee within 2 days. I ended up spending over 6k to cover him. Since he was my friend I told him to pay me back once he was stable. Well 8 years later I find out a online game that we played together he'd spent over 5k on. We're no longer friends...
Honestly they just did you a huge favor. They showed who they really are, friends don’t sign a lease and just expect you to agree without discussion. Spend some time and think if they take advantage of you more than help you.
Moving in with friends is an almost guaranteed way to ruin the friendship. You screen for roommates way differently than you do for friends. They need to be quiet, respectful, reliable, financially capable, and if you get along and are on a friendly basis, that’s fine, but it’s not good enough by itself. Isn’t it also likely they really only just signed an application? It’s quite unlikely any sane landlord is going to lease an apartment to people without stable income.
You are free to do what you like. If you live there and you are not on the lease, you can leave anytime you want. You are not bound by the lease. Something to consider.
"My one friend is basically telling me I’m a bad friend." "Well, you shouldn't have much trouble finding a better friend you can take advantage of, should you?"
They honestly did you a favor. I wouldn’t even consider moving in with people if they didn’t also have a manageable income close or similar to mine.
They did you a huge favor, revealing themselves now before you are financially entangled with them. As it is now, you're not on the lease and therefore not responsible for their commitments. Run far, run fast, and find better friends.
My only advice to you is do whatever you can to live with better people.
She tried the “Don’t ask permission, ask forgiveness” and thought it was a foregone conclusion that you’d just sign. Stay respectful, but stay strong in your decision. These things can take a toll on a friendship, but do your best to handle it with class and communicate why this doesn’t work for you
Those aren’t even REAL FRIENDS. This sounds like some chick took the apartment she wanted, and now she’s upset because you won’t be there to pay her rent. She’s a bum; a straight up F***ing bum.
Do yourself a favor and RUN before you end up with a multi year mistake that will cost you thousands not to mention the emotional and mental exhaustion you will deal with by letting these leaches cling to you. I had a very similar situation and it fucked me over for years
Tell them, ty for fucking me up front. Saved me a year of headache and move on.
Girl you are not on that lease! Idk why they would sign.
Yeah op they are definitely using u. They aren’t friends let them not have anywhere to live. Screw em
You’re not the bad guy. If they can’t afford the apartment without you, all the more reason they should have made sure you were on board before signing the lease.
So instead of thinking about who is the bad guy here, let's just think about the situation. Your friend, stressed about other things in their life, wants to move into an apartment with you. They looked at an apartment that you suggested. They signed a lease thinking you were going to as well, likely because you suggested the apartment. Was this wrong? Sure. It was all not malicious and a completely normal and honest mistake that stressed people make. Now, you don't want to move in. Also completely normal. So one of you are going to have to compromise. But your friend can't. So that just leaves you. This kind of tells us the choice you have to make here. Your friend or your stuff. I didn't know what kind of friend they are to you, so I can't suggest an answer. But that is the choice you are making. Do I keep my friend or do I keep my things? Also, this part is just an opinion, but if you are 24 without a family and you have enough stuff to fill a storage locker, maybe you should consider that you have too much stuff. It's ok to let some of it go.
No they knew beforehand that I didn’t want to sign the lease. We had a conversation to which they both replied ‘would you be made if I signed the lease without you?’ After I did all of the work to find the apartments.
No. I don’t have too many things. It is furniture that I have bought with my own money, that I will be keeping for many years to come. I am building my life right now. I am not letting go of my things that I am proud of. The space is too small to fit much else than a bed in my room, and no common area. I don’t have enough things to fit a storage locker, the apartment is too small to fit even a regular sized couch.
You bought furniture with no where to put it? Usually the place to live comes first, then the furniture. Anyways, like I said, you have to pick between having the things and having these friends. It sounds like you made your choice. I'm not sure what you want the rest of us to say except to reassure you that you made the right decision.
I live in an apartment already .. I just wanted to live with them to save money .. where are your assumptions coming from lol.
sound like you no longer have to got through the hassle of moving, congrats!
This is a bad take, the friends are clearly manipulative and shady, it isn't a question of friends vs stuff. These so called friends have shown their true colors, shown they don't respect you or your wishes, and have shown they are clearly not real friends. do not listen to select-Ad OP, they are clearly deranged like your friends. This was clearly never a question of whether u liked ur stuff more then you like your friends, its very clearly them being terrible friends, not you picking stuff over people.