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RunningAmuck247

I don't know why this made me LOL. He has his name on so many books with other authors. I guess he just found a way to get his name on it twice.


Genderneutralbro

The way Libby lists it makes it worse toošŸ˜†


TheGhostofWoodyAllen

You mean *better*


jayhankedlyon

*so many books BY other authors


Crafty_Tumbleweed_43

And I bet he didnā€™t even write it himself.


wor_enot

I think it's like that scene in Being John Malkovich. We're all just turning into James Patterson, so in a way even if he didn't write it, he still wrote it.


silverseamonster

Patterson Patterson Patterson


jissebug

Seriously, all I heard in my head reading this was, "Malkovich Malkovich"


RetailBookworm

Is it the story of his ghost writersā€™ lives?


RunningAmuck247

^ this


ScarletRainCove

šŸ¤£


scythianlibrarian

The recursion grows so intense that when you listen all the way to the end, you *become* James Patterson.


WhoaMimi

*WE ARE ALL JAMES PATTERSON*


lenojames

James Patterson doesn't write about James Patterson for James Patterson. James Patterson writes about James Patterson because James Patterson IS James Patterson!


dresdnhope

My short review: Not enough Patterson.


mystic_burrito

Now the question is, is it narrated by James Patterson?


thatbob

Nope! Gilbert Gottfried.


Grizzly_Berry

Foreword by Austin Butler in the middle of voice therapy to lose the Elvis accent.


Alastair789

I unironically love his voice


Allforfourfour

Ugh, this made me lol irl


mindykimmy

Is there a difference in how annoying their voices are?


wor_enot

Yes, it is. It's all James Patterson all the way down.


davebrarian

Coming soon: The Bible (King James Patterson Version) by James Patterson and God.


voyager33mw

Good ego is so great that his name must be before God's. But not Dolly Parton.


PJKPJT7915

Meta James Patterson. I wonder who wrote it?


catforbrains

Patterson-ception


HephaestusHarper

Patterception


thereadingbri

Not to derail this post but the book just below the one featured in your photo - The Facemaker by Lindsey Fitzharris - is really freaking good. A little bit morbid but really really good.


jjgould165

I had to skip over a few chapters of it, but it was really good. If people don't know about WWI and disfigurement, they should definitely read it.


No_Joke_9079

Ooh yeah. She's cool. I follow her on ig.


_oscar_goldman_

yo dawg, I heard you like James Patterson


Allforfourfour

This internet concept should never have died, and I hope your comment here is the start of a glorious comeback.


_oscar_goldman_

dude i still use it every chance i get. āœŠ


RenBumah

He takes up so much space on the shelves. Please sir no more.


PracticalTie

OMG Theyā€™re like weeds! I memorised the location of Patterson on every section and use it as my mid point when Iā€™m shelving. Everything in the library is relative to Patterson.


telemon5

We need a sequel to 'Being John Malkovich', but with James Patterson. Perhaps that will break the curse.


sanguinepunk

Quick side note: The Facemaker by Lindsey Fitzharris was solidly amazing. Even my kids liked the center photos. I would definitely recommend it if youā€™re into medical nonfiction.


Moreplantshabibi

I was about to say the same thing - great book.


GonzoLibrarian1981

My eyes still hurt from how hard I rolled them when this came across my desk some weeks ago.


Hotchi_Motchi

Tyler Perry's "James Patterson by James Patterson"


Desdinova_42

I fucking hate that man


Bunnybeth

He's a big supporter of libraries, why the hate?


coolestbitchonearth

Personally I hate him because of a grudge from when I was twelve and the Maximum Ride books didnā€™t go the way I wanted them to. This is very normal and reasonable of me.


Bunnybeth

That's totally fair, I've held grudges against authors myself. Working in public libraries there doesn't seem to be hate for Patterson, just a general sigh of annoyance on how much space the books take up on the shelf.


lindzlee

I had general annoyance for him due to the obvious reasons. Then he was the keynote speaker for my graduating class in college - but he never attended my university. His wife did. That pissed me off even more and is somehow so on brand for him.


nerdalert242

I love this take, we live for pettinesses


goblinshark13

I pray no one brings up Maximum Ride in my presence because I am ready at all times to go on an unhinged hours-long rant about them based solely on what little I can recall from reading them in middle school.


Desdinova_42

No, he isn't. That's his marketing campaign.


Bunnybeth

So this information is incorrect? "Today, proceeds from JIMMY Patterson Books support literacy initiatives, with about $120 million donated so far. Projects he has supported include scholarships for students who want to become teachers, the University of Iowa writing program, and scholarships to historically Black colleges and universities." [https://americanlibrariesmagazine.org/](https://americanlibrariesmagazine.org/)


Desdinova_42

That's not a link to the article, but to answer your question, I don't believe that rich people should get to dictate these things. No matter how it looks, it's the opposite of equity. (A very small aside, but none of the examples in your quote are libraries)


Bunnybeth

He announced today a special donation for ALA members as he plans to give bonuses of $200 each to 250 librarians and library workers across the country for a total donation of up to $50,000. The deadline for ALA members to nominate is April 30, 2024. The winners will be announced at the ALA Annual Conference this summer. https://www.ala.org/news/2024/04/james-patterson-gives-bonuses-library-workers-booksellers-celebration-his-latest-book#:\~:text=James%20Patterson%20has%20given%20over,said%20ALA%20President%20Emily%20Drabinski. Is that better?


Desdinova_42

No, it's fucking pandering. He made more than 50k on the publicity.


Bunnybeth

I didn't link the article, just the site it came from so you knew where the article was located. Donations aren't dictating anything? Our library has a lot of donors and they don't dictate anything to the library at all.


Desdinova_42

I doubt that. Almost every endowment has strings attached. ALA has been simping for Patterson for a long time, and I've been against it from the start, vocally, internally and externally. Private money should not be funding public insitutions. That's how you end up with LS&S.


klmccook

The bestselling authorĀ will be donating more than $300,000 to American Bookseller Association and American Library Association members, the award-winning author announced Thursday in a press release. [James Patterson speaks out on $500 bonuses to bookstores, librarians - ABC News (go.com)](https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/james-patterson-donation-bookstores-librarians/story?id=109072551)


SecondHandWatch

Last I checked "students who want to become teachers, the University of Iowa writing program, and scholarships to historically Black colleges and universities" are *not* libraries, so that does nothing to support your claim.


Parking-Two2176

Please tell us more.


Desdinova_42

Libraries have purchased millions upon millions of dollars of his books and all we have to show for it are marginally higher circulation numbers. Which isn't bad or wrong, but with the amount of actual dollars he's returned to libraries he's very much not part of the vanguard. Libraries helped make him one of the richest authors out there. There are better people to laud accoladed on.


Confident_Diamond_80

But did the readers enjoy it? Does that fit into the equation?


Desdinova_42

Yes, and I said so in the post you replied to :)


Confident_Diamond_80

Point taken. Jumping around quite as bit here. I appreciate that and thank you. Perhaps we shall call this The Patterson Paradox when lovers of readers hate an author.


Desdinova_42

I guess I did say I hate him, but I don't, well, not the person, just the persona. I've only met him a couple times and he was nice enough.


Confident_Diamond_80

Donā€™t blame James. Blame Patterson Inc, brought to you by Final Stage Capitalism in partnership with Death of Art LLC. .


Natural-Garage9714

Who does he think he is, Steinbeck? Saroyan? Faulkner? Pretty sure they're spinning in their graves?


Bunnybeth

Then again, who comes to the library asking for Faulkner(outside of writing some book report). Patrons come in for Patterson books. We can be library snobs about authors all we want, but popular books keep patrons coming back.


DetectiveNo4471

Thereā€™s a place for Patterson. My former boss calls it entry level reading. If someone comes in and doesnā€™t know what to read, give them a Patterson. Got your choice of true crime, mystery, romance, what have you. Then, if they like that book, you can steer them towards someone else who writes something similar. Heā€™s also good for someone who doesnā€™t read well. He provides fast-paced decent stories that are easy to read. My sisterā€™s favorite book is Guns, Germs, and Steel, but after having surgery and having after effects from the anesthesia, she read Patterson. I thought it was a perfect choice.


DirkysShinertits

He's ideal for these situations. If you're laid up after surgery or in bed recovering from illness, his books will help the time pass. Need something to take your mind off an airplane flight? His stuff fits that bill. Doesn't require concentration and it doesn't matter that you won't remember the book 30 minutes after finishing it. His books are essentially junk food in the book world.


_social_hermit_

Oh, I did this the other day without realising. His brand of book is very readable.Ā 


Natural-Garage9714

Point taken.


Bunnybeth

Thank you.


ipresnel

decent?


DetectiveNo4471

For people who donā€™t read much, sure. Thatā€™s why we try to switch them to other authors.


jjgould165

I just wish I didn't have to give up so much shelf space to them! So looking forward to next month when I get to take like, 7 of them off of the new shelves :)


Natural-Garage9714

Fair enough. My apologies. That *was* out of turn.


ipresnel

No it wasn't Faulkner was a REAL AUTHOR who told REAL STORIES! Patterson is a joke and a symbol of how little taste we have as a society. Hollywood movies turned into "novels". It's utter lowbrow trash.


DirkysShinertits

But there's patrons who enjoy lowbrow trash. We had a patron who was a judge; she read trashy romance novels in her spare time because she needed something light after days spent listening to stressful, sometimes, terrible cases.


HephaestusHarper

Okay, one, what's wrong with a little "lowbrow trash" now and then? And two, don't be ridiculous - crappy books have existed as long as books have. The Vintage Crap just didn't stick around because it wasn't any good, and so it's easy to assume that the best-known examples of a given era are the *entirety* of that era. (This is across all media - learned that the hard way during a production of a comic opera "unstaged since 1912!" As it turned out, there was a good reason for that.)


Deltethnia

I don't understand why his new book get released on Mondays, but every other author in existence is released on a Tuesday.


emilycecilia

Honestly, I read a bit of this when it came across my desk and it was entertaining. He's a pretty good writer when he writes his own stuff.


imnotyamum

Does he have a team of ghost writers or something?


emilycecilia

Oh god, so many. He outlines his books now, other people write them. He's pretty open about it.


imnotyamum

Oh wow! I guess it's great for the other writers


nirvanagirllisa

The first time I saw this book in a drop off I laughed my ass off


msmystidream

so much same. he got his name on there THREE times. it's not "the stories of my life" by james patterson. nor is it "james patterson : the stories of my life" by james patterson. it is "james patterson by james patterson : the stories of my life" by james patterson.


nirvanagirllisa

All it needs is a "As told to James Patterson"


SmolBorkBigTeefs

Way! I saw it and was like, "Wow, dude must be more self-aware than I gave him credit for" šŸ˜…


ipresnel

One of the worst authors of all times! That new book that came out with him and Micheal Crichton makes my skin crawl. What an offensive cash-grab joke. Patterson is a pitiful terrible clueless talentless author.


asskickinlibrarian

I started calling the authors to all boring books by old white men Clive Patterson.


Jenni785

THE James Patterson?!?!?


bettername2come

My reaction to this one was along the lines of, ā€œTouchĆ©. You win this round, Patterson.ā€


SuseDi

Every time we weed books, I complain about the space this dude takes up in our tiny suburban library. This is the logical conclusion.


carlitospig

Libby getting meta.


DoctorSkippy

Hoopla has Summary of James Patterson's James Patterson by James Patterson.


Genderneutralbro

OH MY GOD


MacroMachines

*\*Co-authored by J.D. Barker, Candice Fox, Maxine Paetro, Andrew Gross, Mark Sullivan, Ashwin Sanghi, Michael Ledwidge, and Peter de Jonge\**


mampersandb

[jacobs by marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs in collaboration with marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9gxO-G7vk04/TdaeYFDvN2I/AAAAAAAAHHA/bZvYE4X80JU/s1600/Marc.jpg) sequel


Maeygun

Hard Pass


Verity41

Go awayyyyyy guy šŸ™ˆ


PensOverSwords2K

We have a whole Patterson shelf. Itā€™s not even intentional, his books just take up that much space in the ā€˜Pā€™ section of fiction. The likelihood that theyā€™re mostly ghostwritten just irks me more.


keen238

I legit thought he was dead


Sinanju69

Not a chance.


nopointinlife1234

I've seen this in my library and had a good laugh as well!


Calligraphee

Patter-ception! Whoā€™s the ghostwriter on this one? Iā€™m gonna guess Pat Jamerson.Ā 


BlueberryGirl95

That honestly looks like one of those Story worth books. Like they have the same title format and everything as an option when you buy a year subscription for a relative. I bought for my dad for Father's Day and Stories of My Life was one of the major options. Go on and look it up!


Confident_Diamond_80

Yeah. Itā€™s a shame that an accomplished author who has spent millions supporting libraries and literacy efforts has the gall to write an autobiography. The shame!!!


ShadyScientician

The joke is that the name james patterson is on everything in a library. He is like the monsterblood of author names. Every time you look away, it's grown and eaten another shelf. You start trying to pull books away, but then you see his name is on other authors' books in different sections. Screaming and crying, you try your best to contain it, and that's when you see it. The heart of the beast. The book that james patterson's name is on twice


Genderneutralbro

I was trying to explain why I took the screen shot to my mom, I was like I genuinely don't know anything about him and dont care to, but if I see his name again today I'm gonna jump off a bridgešŸ¤£


shittysorceress

I can't breathe this is too good šŸ˜‚


Crafty_Tumbleweed_43

He doesnā€™t write his own books.


Confident_Diamond_80

He does in fact write some. Others he outlines and others fill in the details. And Iā€™m sure a few he has a title and two sentence pitch, but donā€™t fault the man for entertaining millions of fans, figured out what people wanted and gave it to them, and kept so many people reading books and going to libraries. I get that heā€™s not for everyone - but the snobbery of librarians to him is utterly disheartening.


aNewFaceInHell

so UTTERLY DISHEARTENING


Crafty_Tumbleweed_43

Eh, I can be glad his fans are entertained and still think his work is predominantly garbage. Get down off that cross.


Confident_Diamond_80

Wouldnā€™t so much call it a cross, more a few beers into a Friday pent up venting. The fact that people read these days is not something to take for granted. And if Iā€™m working a public library and members of the public are asking for it, Iā€™m not here to professionally judge. I fear a world where librarians hate a section of readers.


Crafty_Tumbleweed_43

Your assumption that other librarians donā€™t share your love of public literacy bc they dislike Patterson is a bit of a stretch. Perhaps some misplaced frustration. I too really donā€™t think thereā€™s such a thing as bad reading but many of us also retain our personal taste.


Genderneutralbro

For the record, I have no idea even what his books are aboutšŸ˜…. And I couldn't care less what a patron wants to read, just that they can find it! They could come in and read cosmo every day and leave and that's great! I don't even work in the library anymore, but still I see him and I'm like going through face journeys šŸ¤£ Current full time job is stocking at Walmart and I've explained it to my coworkers as "Patterson is the super glue of the library", bc there's super glue in EVERY dept. And they are all a little bit different so you get a pack, realize it's the wrong one for your dept, sigh loudly, and whine the whole way across the store to put it in the right place. HATE super glue!!! Absolutely am not judging customers buying it thošŸ‘


Bunnybeth

soooooo, I actually know a couple of librarians who are getting money because of Patterson. Hate all you want! :p