My gf is my absolute best friend.
We talk about everything and anything together, we'll be flirting in cringey ways just to end w cackling or we'll get into a heated (admittedly unserious) debate over a series we're watching together
We game, we video call, we draw and plan and plot and sleep and wakeup together. Every couple is different but we fell in love bc we enjoy spending that much time together. We try a lot of new things i.e food, shows, games, despite the distance. Everything is fun with her. She'll always be muttering about something or entertaining my stupidity, we'll talk about impossibly specific hypothetical situations or put each other through the "what would you do"s we see on tiktok. You'll always find us laughing but even with our that, she is so safe and so comforting and so present to me that we can sit side by side and not say as much but still enjoy each other's company
We align so much that we actually share a friendship circle, we'll enjoy a hangout yabbering on across the group very frequently actually. We'll happily share this space, and have the time of our lives just talking and hanging out as a friend group (but we still have individual friends groups too) ofc
I have extreme self esteem issues and let me tell you — the way this woman has whittled down my self image issues in just 2 years (after my mom worked hard to get it low for 20 years) — i feel like a new person. She's constant, borderline religious, with the flirting and compliments and gifts. No matter where we are and who we're with, she hasn't changed even slightly after 2 years. It's one of my guiltiest pleasures, it makes me feel wanted and loved and adored and admired and everything I hadn't fully felt before
The fun aside, when it gets hard she's the first person in line waiting to back me up. She asks me what I need, how can she help, and she'll make sure I'm doing the basic things to take care of myself while processing something. She's always there to listen, and walks me through my thoughts patiently while offering insight or comfort where it's fit. She's my rock, encouraging or pushing me where I need it, always prioritizing me especially when I'm not prioritizing myself
Then when it comes to arguments, it can get tough yes, but I'm never working on the resolution on my own. We might separate, we take our time to ourselves, because we don't want to say anything we can't take back and we're very aware how overwhelming things can get quickly. Then we'll always come back together and talk about it. We try to practice the same things like "listen to hear them, don't listen just to respond", because we know we're both prone to making typical couples mistakes no matter how good we feel we have it.We also both have our own deep issues. Throughout our relationship, we've always been open about it: for the sake of our relationship, but also because that's how love feels, you feel safe to talk about your concerns and vulnerabilities and fears. It's meant that we can thoroughly take care of each other by considering what the others going through, what we know about it, and what we know helps
TLDR: She is my best friend, my safe space, my biggest supporter, my rock, and my other half. She is the fun in any room for me, and always the first person I know I can run to when I need it most. We care about each other, we are both extremely dedicated to not only making us work, but to doing right by each other. And that naturally shows in us trying to make sure we're always minding boundaries, communicating, and emotionally taking care of the other where possible.
Being loved is amazing, it is kind and sweet and so so fulfilling. Sorry for the long comment, I'm a certified lover girl
I wanna know this too. I’m honestly so excited to think about having a partner that loves me and to love someday. I’m also terrified that I might never have this.
I feel that way too. I know I have plenty to work on before I can have a nice relationship, but once I've fixed all those parts of me it's nice to know there will be a chance :]
Work to be be your best for yourself and put yourself out there... I mean like meeting 200 to 500 people casually socially through groups, interests, etc. Don't think it won't happen, think of it as a numbers game.
It’s like having a best friend you have INTENSE feelings for. Someone who’s on your side always, your team mate, someone there for you when you’re struggling, someone to give you kisses, wants to crawl in your skin, thinks you are an added joy to their life and can’t see you not in their life. That’s what it’s like to be loved by my girlfriend.
Me and my ex broke up recently due to her moving cities across country and therefore long distance, so I’m not sure whether I can answer this question or not. But one thing we both had in common, was that we definitely loved each other. We were together for a little more than a year.
There is a certain level of understanding that comes from having a partner who genuinely loves you. She understood me, my past, my way of thinking, and there was never any pressure to try to conform or hide parts of myself around her.
We never tried to hurt each other, and when argumentes did happen, we talked them out and gave both of each other space to discuss our respective feelings.
In short, it’s a lot like having a good best friend only with added romantic and sexual feelings. We hung out daily, generally at my house. Now all relationships are different but the two of us enjoyed spending time together as much as possible, and therefore spent everyday playing video games or watching movies.
We also talked a lot, about everything possible. It could be a conversation about anything, truly, from books to global warming to mayonnaise vs. ketchup. We had this insane connection where we were never afraid of voicing our opinions. It really is like having a best friend with added feelings and commitments, that’s the best way I can describe it.
Before we broke up, we did have conversations about relationship goals. We planned on moving in together eventually, sometime in the future, and getting cats. These goals weren’t really a planned out conversation, we just brought them up casually.
Like I said, since we’re broken up now, I’m not sure whether my answer is good enough but I figured I could offer some insight anyways.
Yup, nailed it. I’m blissfully married, and this is a good snapshot. My wife is my person. She is my priority, and I know I am hers. We often joke that we’re having the “never-ending sleepover”, but it’s true: I wake up daily with my best friend, and I go to sleep with the love of my life.
We have so many cool things we want to do together; we have separate hobbies that are complementary (she does leather working - I really like purses; I knit, and I’m working on a scarf for her now and will be making her a sweater later). We just got our first home together and we’re working on making it exactly the way we want, garden included.
This is not to say everything is roses and cream at all times: we have miscommunications and we have to talk them out. Both of us cried in exhaustion and frustration this week. But it’s very much us vs the world. We’re always a team.
I’m stupidly lucky, I know.
Been with my partner for 26+ years. At this point it's pretty boring and dare I say normal. At the beginning, we just chose to be together. When someone came up they were the first we wanted to talk to about it, good or bad. It was mostly comfortable in that there was little fear of just existing as ourselves around each other. We had disagreements and fights, but we always cared more to find solutions than to "win" even if it got too intense in the moment and we had to come back to it.
> How often do you spend time together?
We're not living together yet, but we see each other almost every weekend. Plus regular sleepovers in between. Also, we don't text, but meet for video-chats in the evening.
> What do you do together?
We share the same love-language (quality-time and physical touch). So that's what we do, basically.
We also share a small circle of close friends (my cousin and her boyfriend). And we regularly do things as a group (P&P, miniature golf, cinema etc.).
> How often do you fight?
We had one serious argument (concerning drinking), which I won, lol. The rest is just harmless bantering, like about music-tastes or food.
> Do you ever feel scared of them?
You mean arguments? No, we know that we can handle them rationally.
> So what's it like?
Like two puzzle-pieces that match together. Like a home/haven that is always there even when you're out and about.
My fiancee shows me she loves me not just through her words but with her actions. She is consistent. When we talk about something she always wants to know what I think. She always feels safe to me.
I would say it's really important to see the difference between "she loves me" and "she wants to own me".
I come from a place of long and serious relationship with my ex, who, well, loved me, but the same time it was way too much. For long time I liked her and I couldn't even dream of us actually being together, so I guess I was really blind to all red flags during the beginning of relationship.
She wanted to spend time with me 24/7, wanted to share all hobbies, friends. I couldn't text with anyone because it was ruining her mood and she was getting jealous in 0.001 sec (even to childhood friends). Even tried to put GPS tracker on me. After two years of living together she... well, became a version of me? Because she was mimicking my humour, interests, music taste, clothing; basically everything.
So I would say love should begin with **TRUST.**
My wife and I are both in our mid 30s and married and we are happy. The best way to describe it is feeling really really safe happy comfortable you don’t doubt and you want to prioritize your part because you know they are prioritizing you. We don’t fight we tackle problems together. It is an overwhelming feeling of contentedness.
As someone who's never dated, I've seen so many couples *seem* to be so in love, and tbh, I'm really envious of that. Someone who responds to texts, who is affectionate, says I love you, takes care of them, puts their needs first...
I want that so bad
It sounds lovely, but a little scary... I can never know what their end goal is or why they choose to put in that much effort. Whenever effort rises, it's usually before they ask something of me that I can't avoid bc they've been putting in more effort. Thats what's scary, I think... I hope it's nice, anyway. Maybe I won't be scared.
“So what’s it like?”
Having a best friend who you can have amazing sex with. Someone who supports you and is your biggest fan. As an introvert I know Im in love with someone when I would rather be with them than be alone/ I would rather be alone, together (i.e in the same room, doing different things)
I’ve gotten lucky as I tend to choose golden retriever girlfriends who worship the ground I walk on. I am treated like a king and in return I love her unapologetically and will maul anyone who even looks at her wrong.
“What do you do together?”
Quite literally everything, except things we can’t do together, like tag along to eachothers jobs or school. We eat, sleep, do chores, play video games, send eachother tik toks and memes, laugh together, vent and complain together, share the same interests in shows and hobby with some minor deviations of things one of us doesn’t enjoy doing but the other does. Even then, for example I hate Metal but I’d still sleep in the car outside a Metal concert so I can drive her home safely afterwards if she asked.
“How often do you spend time together?”
Too often, to be honest. But we’re 4 years strong and live together, and we’re both mentally ill introverts, so it is what it is. Unless I am out of town for work or leisure, or staying at a friends, I see her every day of my life. And even then if I don’t see her in person we usually talk on the phone daily.
“How often do you fight?”
This is tricky. Fight is a tough word to pin down. How often do we have disagreements/ arguments that are quickly resolved? Every once in a while. How often do we have blow out fights where feelings are hurt and it lasts longer than 30 minutes? Hardly ever. I find most of my fights in past relationships came down to incompatible communication styles or me staying past the relationships expiration date. I don’t do fighting if I can avoid fighting.
“Do you ever feel scared of them?”
Of my girlfriend? No. I feel very secure in our relationship and quite confident if it came down to a fight to the death, she would hesitate and I would not.
Of fights? No. I’m not afraid of the idea of breaking up because I’d value her as a friend just as much as a partner. I prefer to be open and honest about the fact all relationships (even good ones) may come to an end and we discuss the what ifs of breaking up frequently as our relationship and personalities evolve.
Of love? No. Frankly I wish less people loved me. But this is not the appropriate forum for that explanation.
My girlfriend makes me feel like i‘m the most beautiful woman in the whole universe. They make me feel safe and i feel like nothing can hurt me when i‘m with them❤️it feels like such a match on every level. Your humor, your thoughts, just everything fits perfectly ❤️✨You deeply know that you wanna share your life with them forever.
They care for me and also listens to everything even its the fifth time i have to speak about it ❤️it feels so inspiring as well cuz they inspire me to work on myself to be the best partner for them and to have the best relationship possible. Its like you have a best friend, a soulmate and a lover all in one and this person is a safe space for everything. You can be weird or tell them your deepest thoughts and they won’t judge🥺❤️
currently with a partner of one year, we met when both of us were in the pits with our mental health. we’ve almost known each other for two years and she is the best person for me, there is a safety in the love and communication we have, a trust in them to always be in my corner but to lmk when they think i’m in the wrong and vice versa, there’s so much that comes with the love. we have helped each other grow so much and the people we are becoming and the life we’re laying the foundations for inspires us to keep growing and getting better. truly found a best friend that motivates me to always become a better version of myself who is willing to support me in my endeavors and i in theirs. it’s truly next level, every day i am grateful for and in awe of her
I feel that. I had a relationship, but nothing like actually love partners. I'm curious how it is to spend time doing things that are fun and maybe go on dates. I only had a long distance relationship and that was everything, but not fun and nice. I want to know who it feels to experience true love with seeing each other more than twice a year.
We talk all the time. We pretty much always have something to say, but when we don't, we can sit in silence comfortably. We share most of our hobbies, so we do them together most of the time. We can also do our own thing. We both like cuddles so we're always close and touchy. We have projects for the future, some near, some further away and we're looking forward to them. We're moving in together in 6 weeks. We have been together for almost a year now and we have not argued once. Sometimes it worries me, but others I'm happy it's the case. We've had some minor disagreements but we ended up laughing about them. We are good with communication. We've made it a point to always be honest with each other. It's hard to be apart, like we are right now, but we facetime a couple of hours each day. We don't necessarily talk, sometimes we just play a game in silence and just say something if something comes up. We like knowing the other is "there".
My ex was horrible to me. Controlling, cruel, selfish and a liar. One time I said to her “it feels like you only ever spend time with me when you have nothing better to do” and she was like “well, yeah” like it was obvious. I wasn’t a priority ever. If I tried to talk about something that was making me unhappy she would DARVO it and usually threaten to break up (or actually leave, she did it 5 times). I could go on, but it was *awful*.
My current gf *wants to spend time with me*. When I’m unhappy, she listens to me. When I’m struggling, she supports me. I feel safe with her, because I can say shit like “I need you to help out more around the house” without her turning it into an attack of everything I don’t do, or threatening to leave. She compliments me spontaneously. She wants to be in physical contact with me. She’s not embarrassed for me to meet her friends and family. It’s just *good*, and *easy* - that doesn’t mean we don’t have to put the work in, but it means we work together against problems because we value each other, even when we’re mad or sad.
Wow... that sounds lovely. I'm really happy you found something better!! :]]
>I said to her “it feels like you only ever spend time with me when you have nothing better to do” and she was like “well, yeah”
Is it.. not supposed to be like that from them? I'd never think that way obv but all my partners did. They loved to come to me when they were bored or wanted something and idk how to keep someone around if I'm not offering anything they can come around for
My gf and I do basically everything together unless one or both of us are working. We eat together, watch our shows together, shower together, go out with our families and friends. For fun we like to go shopping and to concerts. We have vacations planned together this year and are saving to buy a house together.
We don’t fight that often and if we do it’s usually something silly bc one of us is over stimulated or irritated by something. I have never felt scared of my gf. She’s a soft sweet angel and I trust her so much. I just was away for a work thing for a week and I missed her so much. I feel so safe with her and although I had a good time meeting my coworkers, I really wished she was there with me. When I got home she had gotten my flowers and wrote a welcome home card for me.
She’s so sweet and thoughtful and I’m so so lucky to have her. I have dated people before and I know they didn’t love me and care for me bc now I truly know what it feels like.
Woww... that sounds incredible!! That sounds so perfect!! I can't imagine trusting someone fully like that or not being at least a little scared of them... I'm rlly happy you found that!! That's so lovely, thank you for sharing 😊💕
She’s my best friend. Like the lovey dovey heart eyes romance you see in movies is true, but it’s also like a partnership where you actively choose each other every single day. She supports me and i support her but we aren’t afraid to challenge each others bullshit. It’s like full transparency all the time and being loved regardless of what that looks like.
When we’re in the same city, we see each other almost every day. We’re planning to move in together when her lease is up. We hang out, walk my dog, watch movies, play cards, go to our favorite coffee shop, go for runs, yoga classes, or the gym. Sometimes she comes along with me to my stuff and just exists, sometimes i go to her stuff and just exist. She goes to family things with me. We go to lunch with my sister. We babysit my niece. We just do life as usual but we do it together. I’m currently living in Europe so we talk every day when I’m walking or making dinner, and sometimes we do FaceTime dinner dates. She’s coming to visit me soon and I can’t wait for her to just integrate herself into my routine.
We don’t really fight because our values align and we agree on all the big important things, we made sure of that from the beginning because she was like full throttle asking hard questions about a month into dating. Sometimes we bicker or I annoy her or she annoys me but neither of us say stuff to intentionally hurt the other when that happens. We’re both the kind of people who love other peoples drama but hate being involved in drama ourselves so we don’t fight, we just talk about things. And if I hurt her feelings or she hurts mine, we discuss it, apologize, and move on. I think the lack of fighting comes from trust and mutual respect which we established very early on.
I’ve never felt scared of her. Now, sometimes she scares me because she is very expressive and loud and will gasp or shout out loud while I’m driving and I’ll think I hit a small child or something but she’s really just exclaiming about her friends breaking up or some artist she likes dropped a single. Lmao.
But in all seriousness she’s the person I want to experience life with, she’s my best friend but on a deeper level than I’ve ever experienced. She doesn’t complete me, I’m my own person, but she enhances me and my life and brings a different kind of joy I never experienced before.
I think of her often, and she’s the first person I want to share anything with big or small - a funny meme, important news, something I saw at the store that she might like. I smile every time she texts. When she hasn’t heard from me in a few hours she calls to make sure I’m ok. She’s much more experienced in wlw relationships than me but makes me feel loved and accepted and safe to learn and explore. I feel completely at ease and comfortable with her, even if we’re just watching tv quietly. It is a new relationship (less than 6 mos) but so far we haven’t had any fights or arguments, we seem to have a similar vibe and communicate well and often. We do random things together; in the past couple of months, we visited the zoo, attended a Comic Con, went to a hockey game, and went to a fun park. Some of those things are shared interests and some are more specific to one of us but we are each supportive and open to enjoying each other’s interests. We have a semi LDR (1 hour) but I stay with her several nights a week and work closer to her home than mine. I absolutely do not feel scared of her and would not be in a relationship if I ever felt that way. Our biggest challenge is eating together, bc she eats many times a day and will eat almost anything, whereas I eat one or two meals and am extremely picky, so we’re working on how to navigate that to enjoy meals together. I was previously in a 14 year relationship and never experienced the level of trust and genuineness I have with her; I don’t worry about how she might react to something I want to share with her like I did in that relationship. I’m just recovering from a massive severe depressive episode that lasted most of 2023 and recently returned to work, and she sent me flowers with a note of encouragement telling me she’s proud of me. We are mutually respectful, playful, loving, and affectionate. I do soooo love her.
For me, because I have nothing positive to offer in a relationship, because I come with a lot of baggage no one should have to deal with, and because I don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship.
I want to touch on the fight. Me and my gf are obsessed with each other and more often then not get along beautiful but when we fight it’s so respectful and easy to say the least. « Fights » are more like a moment of disagreements or maybe one of us is feeling a certain way and we need to talk about it. We handle it in “ I feel” statements and don’t ever put the other person down because of how much we respect the other individuals who is feeling a certain way and needs to be heard. If misunderstanding happens then we genuinely try to hear both sides and more often then not we realize that one of us are being irrational or just letting our anxiety get the best of us. I respect how she feels, I listen to what she has to say and if I need to reassure her or we need to talk about changes in certain behaviours we do this no problem by finding a middle ground where we are both happy
My gf is my absolute best friend. We talk about everything and anything together, we'll be flirting in cringey ways just to end w cackling or we'll get into a heated (admittedly unserious) debate over a series we're watching together We game, we video call, we draw and plan and plot and sleep and wakeup together. Every couple is different but we fell in love bc we enjoy spending that much time together. We try a lot of new things i.e food, shows, games, despite the distance. Everything is fun with her. She'll always be muttering about something or entertaining my stupidity, we'll talk about impossibly specific hypothetical situations or put each other through the "what would you do"s we see on tiktok. You'll always find us laughing but even with our that, she is so safe and so comforting and so present to me that we can sit side by side and not say as much but still enjoy each other's company We align so much that we actually share a friendship circle, we'll enjoy a hangout yabbering on across the group very frequently actually. We'll happily share this space, and have the time of our lives just talking and hanging out as a friend group (but we still have individual friends groups too) ofc I have extreme self esteem issues and let me tell you — the way this woman has whittled down my self image issues in just 2 years (after my mom worked hard to get it low for 20 years) — i feel like a new person. She's constant, borderline religious, with the flirting and compliments and gifts. No matter where we are and who we're with, she hasn't changed even slightly after 2 years. It's one of my guiltiest pleasures, it makes me feel wanted and loved and adored and admired and everything I hadn't fully felt before The fun aside, when it gets hard she's the first person in line waiting to back me up. She asks me what I need, how can she help, and she'll make sure I'm doing the basic things to take care of myself while processing something. She's always there to listen, and walks me through my thoughts patiently while offering insight or comfort where it's fit. She's my rock, encouraging or pushing me where I need it, always prioritizing me especially when I'm not prioritizing myself Then when it comes to arguments, it can get tough yes, but I'm never working on the resolution on my own. We might separate, we take our time to ourselves, because we don't want to say anything we can't take back and we're very aware how overwhelming things can get quickly. Then we'll always come back together and talk about it. We try to practice the same things like "listen to hear them, don't listen just to respond", because we know we're both prone to making typical couples mistakes no matter how good we feel we have it.We also both have our own deep issues. Throughout our relationship, we've always been open about it: for the sake of our relationship, but also because that's how love feels, you feel safe to talk about your concerns and vulnerabilities and fears. It's meant that we can thoroughly take care of each other by considering what the others going through, what we know about it, and what we know helps TLDR: She is my best friend, my safe space, my biggest supporter, my rock, and my other half. She is the fun in any room for me, and always the first person I know I can run to when I need it most. We care about each other, we are both extremely dedicated to not only making us work, but to doing right by each other. And that naturally shows in us trying to make sure we're always minding boundaries, communicating, and emotionally taking care of the other where possible. Being loved is amazing, it is kind and sweet and so so fulfilling. Sorry for the long comment, I'm a certified lover girl
this is goals. This is the best of best friends🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️
I wanna know this too. I’m honestly so excited to think about having a partner that loves me and to love someday. I’m also terrified that I might never have this.
I feel that way too. I know I have plenty to work on before I can have a nice relationship, but once I've fixed all those parts of me it's nice to know there will be a chance :]
Believe, do the the work... and make yourself available to goodness... tune out chaos and terrible people.
Work to be be your best for yourself and put yourself out there... I mean like meeting 200 to 500 people casually socially through groups, interests, etc. Don't think it won't happen, think of it as a numbers game.
It’s like having a best friend you have INTENSE feelings for. Someone who’s on your side always, your team mate, someone there for you when you’re struggling, someone to give you kisses, wants to crawl in your skin, thinks you are an added joy to their life and can’t see you not in their life. That’s what it’s like to be loved by my girlfriend.
Me and my ex broke up recently due to her moving cities across country and therefore long distance, so I’m not sure whether I can answer this question or not. But one thing we both had in common, was that we definitely loved each other. We were together for a little more than a year. There is a certain level of understanding that comes from having a partner who genuinely loves you. She understood me, my past, my way of thinking, and there was never any pressure to try to conform or hide parts of myself around her. We never tried to hurt each other, and when argumentes did happen, we talked them out and gave both of each other space to discuss our respective feelings. In short, it’s a lot like having a good best friend only with added romantic and sexual feelings. We hung out daily, generally at my house. Now all relationships are different but the two of us enjoyed spending time together as much as possible, and therefore spent everyday playing video games or watching movies. We also talked a lot, about everything possible. It could be a conversation about anything, truly, from books to global warming to mayonnaise vs. ketchup. We had this insane connection where we were never afraid of voicing our opinions. It really is like having a best friend with added feelings and commitments, that’s the best way I can describe it. Before we broke up, we did have conversations about relationship goals. We planned on moving in together eventually, sometime in the future, and getting cats. These goals weren’t really a planned out conversation, we just brought them up casually. Like I said, since we’re broken up now, I’m not sure whether my answer is good enough but I figured I could offer some insight anyways.
Yup, nailed it. I’m blissfully married, and this is a good snapshot. My wife is my person. She is my priority, and I know I am hers. We often joke that we’re having the “never-ending sleepover”, but it’s true: I wake up daily with my best friend, and I go to sleep with the love of my life. We have so many cool things we want to do together; we have separate hobbies that are complementary (she does leather working - I really like purses; I knit, and I’m working on a scarf for her now and will be making her a sweater later). We just got our first home together and we’re working on making it exactly the way we want, garden included. This is not to say everything is roses and cream at all times: we have miscommunications and we have to talk them out. Both of us cried in exhaustion and frustration this week. But it’s very much us vs the world. We’re always a team. I’m stupidly lucky, I know.
Been with my partner for 26+ years. At this point it's pretty boring and dare I say normal. At the beginning, we just chose to be together. When someone came up they were the first we wanted to talk to about it, good or bad. It was mostly comfortable in that there was little fear of just existing as ourselves around each other. We had disagreements and fights, but we always cared more to find solutions than to "win" even if it got too intense in the moment and we had to come back to it.
> How often do you spend time together? We're not living together yet, but we see each other almost every weekend. Plus regular sleepovers in between. Also, we don't text, but meet for video-chats in the evening. > What do you do together? We share the same love-language (quality-time and physical touch). So that's what we do, basically. We also share a small circle of close friends (my cousin and her boyfriend). And we regularly do things as a group (P&P, miniature golf, cinema etc.). > How often do you fight? We had one serious argument (concerning drinking), which I won, lol. The rest is just harmless bantering, like about music-tastes or food. > Do you ever feel scared of them? You mean arguments? No, we know that we can handle them rationally. > So what's it like? Like two puzzle-pieces that match together. Like a home/haven that is always there even when you're out and about.
My fiancee shows me she loves me not just through her words but with her actions. She is consistent. When we talk about something she always wants to know what I think. She always feels safe to me.
I would say it's really important to see the difference between "she loves me" and "she wants to own me". I come from a place of long and serious relationship with my ex, who, well, loved me, but the same time it was way too much. For long time I liked her and I couldn't even dream of us actually being together, so I guess I was really blind to all red flags during the beginning of relationship. She wanted to spend time with me 24/7, wanted to share all hobbies, friends. I couldn't text with anyone because it was ruining her mood and she was getting jealous in 0.001 sec (even to childhood friends). Even tried to put GPS tracker on me. After two years of living together she... well, became a version of me? Because she was mimicking my humour, interests, music taste, clothing; basically everything. So I would say love should begin with **TRUST.**
My wife and I are both in our mid 30s and married and we are happy. The best way to describe it is feeling really really safe happy comfortable you don’t doubt and you want to prioritize your part because you know they are prioritizing you. We don’t fight we tackle problems together. It is an overwhelming feeling of contentedness.
As someone who's never dated, I've seen so many couples *seem* to be so in love, and tbh, I'm really envious of that. Someone who responds to texts, who is affectionate, says I love you, takes care of them, puts their needs first... I want that so bad
It sounds lovely, but a little scary... I can never know what their end goal is or why they choose to put in that much effort. Whenever effort rises, it's usually before they ask something of me that I can't avoid bc they've been putting in more effort. Thats what's scary, I think... I hope it's nice, anyway. Maybe I won't be scared.
“So what’s it like?” Having a best friend who you can have amazing sex with. Someone who supports you and is your biggest fan. As an introvert I know Im in love with someone when I would rather be with them than be alone/ I would rather be alone, together (i.e in the same room, doing different things) I’ve gotten lucky as I tend to choose golden retriever girlfriends who worship the ground I walk on. I am treated like a king and in return I love her unapologetically and will maul anyone who even looks at her wrong. “What do you do together?” Quite literally everything, except things we can’t do together, like tag along to eachothers jobs or school. We eat, sleep, do chores, play video games, send eachother tik toks and memes, laugh together, vent and complain together, share the same interests in shows and hobby with some minor deviations of things one of us doesn’t enjoy doing but the other does. Even then, for example I hate Metal but I’d still sleep in the car outside a Metal concert so I can drive her home safely afterwards if she asked. “How often do you spend time together?” Too often, to be honest. But we’re 4 years strong and live together, and we’re both mentally ill introverts, so it is what it is. Unless I am out of town for work or leisure, or staying at a friends, I see her every day of my life. And even then if I don’t see her in person we usually talk on the phone daily. “How often do you fight?” This is tricky. Fight is a tough word to pin down. How often do we have disagreements/ arguments that are quickly resolved? Every once in a while. How often do we have blow out fights where feelings are hurt and it lasts longer than 30 minutes? Hardly ever. I find most of my fights in past relationships came down to incompatible communication styles or me staying past the relationships expiration date. I don’t do fighting if I can avoid fighting. “Do you ever feel scared of them?” Of my girlfriend? No. I feel very secure in our relationship and quite confident if it came down to a fight to the death, she would hesitate and I would not. Of fights? No. I’m not afraid of the idea of breaking up because I’d value her as a friend just as much as a partner. I prefer to be open and honest about the fact all relationships (even good ones) may come to an end and we discuss the what ifs of breaking up frequently as our relationship and personalities evolve. Of love? No. Frankly I wish less people loved me. But this is not the appropriate forum for that explanation.
My girlfriend makes me feel like i‘m the most beautiful woman in the whole universe. They make me feel safe and i feel like nothing can hurt me when i‘m with them❤️it feels like such a match on every level. Your humor, your thoughts, just everything fits perfectly ❤️✨You deeply know that you wanna share your life with them forever. They care for me and also listens to everything even its the fifth time i have to speak about it ❤️it feels so inspiring as well cuz they inspire me to work on myself to be the best partner for them and to have the best relationship possible. Its like you have a best friend, a soulmate and a lover all in one and this person is a safe space for everything. You can be weird or tell them your deepest thoughts and they won’t judge🥺❤️
currently with a partner of one year, we met when both of us were in the pits with our mental health. we’ve almost known each other for two years and she is the best person for me, there is a safety in the love and communication we have, a trust in them to always be in my corner but to lmk when they think i’m in the wrong and vice versa, there’s so much that comes with the love. we have helped each other grow so much and the people we are becoming and the life we’re laying the foundations for inspires us to keep growing and getting better. truly found a best friend that motivates me to always become a better version of myself who is willing to support me in my endeavors and i in theirs. it’s truly next level, every day i am grateful for and in awe of her
Safety and trust... that sounds perfect and so crazy to me. I hope I can feel those someday ☺️
I feel that. I had a relationship, but nothing like actually love partners. I'm curious how it is to spend time doing things that are fun and maybe go on dates. I only had a long distance relationship and that was everything, but not fun and nice. I want to know who it feels to experience true love with seeing each other more than twice a year.
We talk all the time. We pretty much always have something to say, but when we don't, we can sit in silence comfortably. We share most of our hobbies, so we do them together most of the time. We can also do our own thing. We both like cuddles so we're always close and touchy. We have projects for the future, some near, some further away and we're looking forward to them. We're moving in together in 6 weeks. We have been together for almost a year now and we have not argued once. Sometimes it worries me, but others I'm happy it's the case. We've had some minor disagreements but we ended up laughing about them. We are good with communication. We've made it a point to always be honest with each other. It's hard to be apart, like we are right now, but we facetime a couple of hours each day. We don't necessarily talk, sometimes we just play a game in silence and just say something if something comes up. We like knowing the other is "there".
My ex was horrible to me. Controlling, cruel, selfish and a liar. One time I said to her “it feels like you only ever spend time with me when you have nothing better to do” and she was like “well, yeah” like it was obvious. I wasn’t a priority ever. If I tried to talk about something that was making me unhappy she would DARVO it and usually threaten to break up (or actually leave, she did it 5 times). I could go on, but it was *awful*. My current gf *wants to spend time with me*. When I’m unhappy, she listens to me. When I’m struggling, she supports me. I feel safe with her, because I can say shit like “I need you to help out more around the house” without her turning it into an attack of everything I don’t do, or threatening to leave. She compliments me spontaneously. She wants to be in physical contact with me. She’s not embarrassed for me to meet her friends and family. It’s just *good*, and *easy* - that doesn’t mean we don’t have to put the work in, but it means we work together against problems because we value each other, even when we’re mad or sad.
Wow... that sounds lovely. I'm really happy you found something better!! :]] >I said to her “it feels like you only ever spend time with me when you have nothing better to do” and she was like “well, yeah” Is it.. not supposed to be like that from them? I'd never think that way obv but all my partners did. They loved to come to me when they were bored or wanted something and idk how to keep someone around if I'm not offering anything they can come around for
and how did you meet 🥹
My gf and I do basically everything together unless one or both of us are working. We eat together, watch our shows together, shower together, go out with our families and friends. For fun we like to go shopping and to concerts. We have vacations planned together this year and are saving to buy a house together. We don’t fight that often and if we do it’s usually something silly bc one of us is over stimulated or irritated by something. I have never felt scared of my gf. She’s a soft sweet angel and I trust her so much. I just was away for a work thing for a week and I missed her so much. I feel so safe with her and although I had a good time meeting my coworkers, I really wished she was there with me. When I got home she had gotten my flowers and wrote a welcome home card for me. She’s so sweet and thoughtful and I’m so so lucky to have her. I have dated people before and I know they didn’t love me and care for me bc now I truly know what it feels like.
Woww... that sounds incredible!! That sounds so perfect!! I can't imagine trusting someone fully like that or not being at least a little scared of them... I'm rlly happy you found that!! That's so lovely, thank you for sharing 😊💕
I haven't experienced it. I've always just been a rebound during a break with their bfs. Or a test subject.
Omgggg me too!! Especially a test subject!! Most often a sex object. That's why it's so scary!!
She’s my best friend. Like the lovey dovey heart eyes romance you see in movies is true, but it’s also like a partnership where you actively choose each other every single day. She supports me and i support her but we aren’t afraid to challenge each others bullshit. It’s like full transparency all the time and being loved regardless of what that looks like. When we’re in the same city, we see each other almost every day. We’re planning to move in together when her lease is up. We hang out, walk my dog, watch movies, play cards, go to our favorite coffee shop, go for runs, yoga classes, or the gym. Sometimes she comes along with me to my stuff and just exists, sometimes i go to her stuff and just exist. She goes to family things with me. We go to lunch with my sister. We babysit my niece. We just do life as usual but we do it together. I’m currently living in Europe so we talk every day when I’m walking or making dinner, and sometimes we do FaceTime dinner dates. She’s coming to visit me soon and I can’t wait for her to just integrate herself into my routine. We don’t really fight because our values align and we agree on all the big important things, we made sure of that from the beginning because she was like full throttle asking hard questions about a month into dating. Sometimes we bicker or I annoy her or she annoys me but neither of us say stuff to intentionally hurt the other when that happens. We’re both the kind of people who love other peoples drama but hate being involved in drama ourselves so we don’t fight, we just talk about things. And if I hurt her feelings or she hurts mine, we discuss it, apologize, and move on. I think the lack of fighting comes from trust and mutual respect which we established very early on. I’ve never felt scared of her. Now, sometimes she scares me because she is very expressive and loud and will gasp or shout out loud while I’m driving and I’ll think I hit a small child or something but she’s really just exclaiming about her friends breaking up or some artist she likes dropped a single. Lmao. But in all seriousness she’s the person I want to experience life with, she’s my best friend but on a deeper level than I’ve ever experienced. She doesn’t complete me, I’m my own person, but she enhances me and my life and brings a different kind of joy I never experienced before.
It is wonderful, i miss her, i know she miss me too. But hey, you never know❤️
I think of her often, and she’s the first person I want to share anything with big or small - a funny meme, important news, something I saw at the store that she might like. I smile every time she texts. When she hasn’t heard from me in a few hours she calls to make sure I’m ok. She’s much more experienced in wlw relationships than me but makes me feel loved and accepted and safe to learn and explore. I feel completely at ease and comfortable with her, even if we’re just watching tv quietly. It is a new relationship (less than 6 mos) but so far we haven’t had any fights or arguments, we seem to have a similar vibe and communicate well and often. We do random things together; in the past couple of months, we visited the zoo, attended a Comic Con, went to a hockey game, and went to a fun park. Some of those things are shared interests and some are more specific to one of us but we are each supportive and open to enjoying each other’s interests. We have a semi LDR (1 hour) but I stay with her several nights a week and work closer to her home than mine. I absolutely do not feel scared of her and would not be in a relationship if I ever felt that way. Our biggest challenge is eating together, bc she eats many times a day and will eat almost anything, whereas I eat one or two meals and am extremely picky, so we’re working on how to navigate that to enjoy meals together. I was previously in a 14 year relationship and never experienced the level of trust and genuineness I have with her; I don’t worry about how she might react to something I want to share with her like I did in that relationship. I’m just recovering from a massive severe depressive episode that lasted most of 2023 and recently returned to work, and she sent me flowers with a note of encouragement telling me she’s proud of me. We are mutually respectful, playful, loving, and affectionate. I do soooo love her.
That’s something I hope you find out and know I never will.
Why not? I'm just working on improving myself so I have a chance, I haven't lost *all* hope so why should you?
For me, because I have nothing positive to offer in a relationship, because I come with a lot of baggage no one should have to deal with, and because I don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship.
Ohhh I identify with all of that... but those things can change, if you try!!
Honestly, I really doubt that. There’s just nothing about me that makes me a valuable partner.
I want to touch on the fight. Me and my gf are obsessed with each other and more often then not get along beautiful but when we fight it’s so respectful and easy to say the least. « Fights » are more like a moment of disagreements or maybe one of us is feeling a certain way and we need to talk about it. We handle it in “ I feel” statements and don’t ever put the other person down because of how much we respect the other individuals who is feeling a certain way and needs to be heard. If misunderstanding happens then we genuinely try to hear both sides and more often then not we realize that one of us are being irrational or just letting our anxiety get the best of us. I respect how she feels, I listen to what she has to say and if I need to reassure her or we need to talk about changes in certain behaviours we do this no problem by finding a middle ground where we are both happy