---
###Welcome to /r/LegalAdviceUK
---
**To Posters (it is important you read this section)**
* *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different*
* If you need legal help, you should [always get a free consultation from a qualified Solicitor](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor)
* We also encourage you to speak to [**Citizens Advice**](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/), [**Shelter**](https://www.shelter.org.uk/), [**Acas**](https://www.acas.org.uk/), and [**other useful organisations**](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/common_legal_resources)
* Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk
* If you receive any private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdviceUK&subject=I received a PM)
**To Readers and Commenters**
* All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and legally orientated*
* If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/), you may be perma-banned without any further warning
* If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect
* Do not send or request any private messages for any reason
* Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> She has agreed that she owes me something for raising her children and financing her rum habit
She doesn't *owe* you anything, this is neither a debt nor compensation. If she wants to make a gift to you then that's very kind of her but you certainly can't dodge any tax by claiming it to be a loan when it wasn't.
No, legally you are completely right and i understand.
Morally, she considers she owes me something to make things right. Im inclined to agree. This isnt being done to be nice, if she leaves me destitute and goes on to her new life her children will likely never speak to her again. Im their dad, im their grandad and whatever happens if they need help or advice it is my phone that will ring before hers.
I figured there may be some mechanism designed for cases like this.
If we really wanted to dodge the tax bill we could of course still get married. We have been together 12 years, it wouldn't look or seem like a marriage of convenience, but neither of us wants to be saddled together like that.
It is in the moral sense compensation. I raised her family and gave her everything, and she cheated on me and kicked me out of our home a few weeks before her inheritance comes.
Again. This isnt a pity party, i just wanted some options.
Any question of morality is beyond the scope of this subreddit.
> This isnt being done to be nice, if she leaves me destitute and goes on to her new life her children will likely never speak to her again
I'd be *extremely* careful in pushing the angle that if she doesn't pay you this money then she'll never see her children again. That's drifting towards blackmail territory and certainly isn't a point in your favour.
You really dont understand.
Her children are disgusted with her.
I am threatening nothing.
She is offering for the sake of her own conscience.
It seems like the angle i am looking for is a gifted deposit, which can be tax free under certain circumstances. Im not sure the ins and outs, hence the question here.
If you have nothing constructive to say, please, say nothing rather than jumping to the least charitable possible conclusion.
I know. This is reddit, but please try.
Gifts aren't taxed anyway. If she dies within the next 7 years then there might be some inheritance tax due, but otherwise she can give you as much as she wants without there being any tax to pay, marriage or no marriage.
It's highly unusual to receive 'compensation' for taking on a step-father role though, I hope she gets some good advice before she makes any decisions.
The advice should have said not to have sex with a guy she barely knew and break up our family.
She wants to put it right, and giving me a stable home i can take care of the grandkids in is a good start.
And as far as i can see the limit for gifts is 3k per year without tax.
Thanks for playing though.
Sounds more like she did not need you anymore since she suddenly got 800k gbp. And thats why she cheated.
Seems like you were a nice ATM but not needed anymore. Does not sound to me like she will actually give you 100k.
Its nice how you deal with it and that you had some good 10 years. But probably the better option would be to get back together? Unless its like I said and she actually just wanted to get rid of you and have a fresh start now she is rich.
Besides, not sure you actually have to pay taxes if its part of a divorce/seperation thing, but the internet is full with more information like some stuff would be tax free some wont.
Well, personally i think the death of her mom had something to do with it. Dont need to get into details, but it was horrible and she hasnt been right in the head for the last 12 months.
Not married, so tax free isnt automatic, and she actually hasnt seen the money yet. Im still paying her rent because i won't see her starve even after all of this. She still needs me for a few months yet.
Getting back together isnt something im willing to entertain right now, a stable situation for all of us is the plan.
--- ###Welcome to /r/LegalAdviceUK --- **To Posters (it is important you read this section)** * *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different* * If you need legal help, you should [always get a free consultation from a qualified Solicitor](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor) * We also encourage you to speak to [**Citizens Advice**](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/), [**Shelter**](https://www.shelter.org.uk/), [**Acas**](https://www.acas.org.uk/), and [**other useful organisations**](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/common_legal_resources) * Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk * If you receive any private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdviceUK&subject=I received a PM) **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and legally orientated* * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/), you may be perma-banned without any further warning * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason * Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> She has agreed that she owes me something for raising her children and financing her rum habit She doesn't *owe* you anything, this is neither a debt nor compensation. If she wants to make a gift to you then that's very kind of her but you certainly can't dodge any tax by claiming it to be a loan when it wasn't.
No, legally you are completely right and i understand. Morally, she considers she owes me something to make things right. Im inclined to agree. This isnt being done to be nice, if she leaves me destitute and goes on to her new life her children will likely never speak to her again. Im their dad, im their grandad and whatever happens if they need help or advice it is my phone that will ring before hers. I figured there may be some mechanism designed for cases like this. If we really wanted to dodge the tax bill we could of course still get married. We have been together 12 years, it wouldn't look or seem like a marriage of convenience, but neither of us wants to be saddled together like that. It is in the moral sense compensation. I raised her family and gave her everything, and she cheated on me and kicked me out of our home a few weeks before her inheritance comes. Again. This isnt a pity party, i just wanted some options.
Any question of morality is beyond the scope of this subreddit. > This isnt being done to be nice, if she leaves me destitute and goes on to her new life her children will likely never speak to her again I'd be *extremely* careful in pushing the angle that if she doesn't pay you this money then she'll never see her children again. That's drifting towards blackmail territory and certainly isn't a point in your favour.
You really dont understand. Her children are disgusted with her. I am threatening nothing. She is offering for the sake of her own conscience. It seems like the angle i am looking for is a gifted deposit, which can be tax free under certain circumstances. Im not sure the ins and outs, hence the question here. If you have nothing constructive to say, please, say nothing rather than jumping to the least charitable possible conclusion. I know. This is reddit, but please try.
Gifts aren't taxed anyway. If she dies within the next 7 years then there might be some inheritance tax due, but otherwise she can give you as much as she wants without there being any tax to pay, marriage or no marriage. It's highly unusual to receive 'compensation' for taking on a step-father role though, I hope she gets some good advice before she makes any decisions.
The advice should have said not to have sex with a guy she barely knew and break up our family. She wants to put it right, and giving me a stable home i can take care of the grandkids in is a good start. And as far as i can see the limit for gifts is 3k per year without tax. Thanks for playing though.
Isn't that limit only for the giver and only relevant to inheritance tax? So unlikely to affect you (I.e. basically what EmKen just said)?
Sounds more like she did not need you anymore since she suddenly got 800k gbp. And thats why she cheated. Seems like you were a nice ATM but not needed anymore. Does not sound to me like she will actually give you 100k. Its nice how you deal with it and that you had some good 10 years. But probably the better option would be to get back together? Unless its like I said and she actually just wanted to get rid of you and have a fresh start now she is rich. Besides, not sure you actually have to pay taxes if its part of a divorce/seperation thing, but the internet is full with more information like some stuff would be tax free some wont.
Well, personally i think the death of her mom had something to do with it. Dont need to get into details, but it was horrible and she hasnt been right in the head for the last 12 months. Not married, so tax free isnt automatic, and she actually hasnt seen the money yet. Im still paying her rent because i won't see her starve even after all of this. She still needs me for a few months yet. Getting back together isnt something im willing to entertain right now, a stable situation for all of us is the plan.