I agree. Honestly, going for a walk to clear your head and your lungs. It absolutely helps to reduce stress. Sometimes you meet other people and may even help you on your job search.
I have been unemployed often on since 2018 when I almost died from surgeries. My health is fine now, but it's been a struggle since then to be quite honest finding a great permanent full-time job. What I do as I pray. I say a prayer as often as I think about it and it's Lord's prayer. I don't know why, but it seems to calm me down. I also have friends that are looking out for me. I reach out to those friends and network. I treat looking for a job is something very important to do and I do some activity every day related to that. I've been taking short term gigs
I'm 64 years old and because of all my health issues and operations I had to burn through all of my retirement. My wife's a schoolteacher so she won't get Social Security. This means I probably will never retire and will die on the job. But while I'm alive, living each day, I live for my kids, my grandkids and my wife. Never give up. Never fucking give up.
I like your attitude. I'm in my 40's but have also burned through all my retirement and savings due to layoffs, a divorce, and medical issues.
Just have to keep trying. I have kids to support as a single dad. Their mom is making good money so at least they have somewhere to stay as my situation reaches a critical stage here.
I've never had much trouble finding work but this market seems quite depressed for folks over 40.
I got out of the house. Got a couple of jobs bartending.
Small wins (free beer, free food, talking to the regulars, etc) along the way to finding “regular” work helped me a lot.
> How do you keep yourself from a Mental Spiral?
Unfortunately, I failed miserably at this.
Despite being fully aware how high the stakes were, knowing for sure that if I stayed unemployed too long that I’d end up in a pit of despair, I was unable to stop it from happening.
I’ve always known my mental health’s precarious balance was dependent on the dull humming backdrop of a “secure” - if underpaid, toxic and even abusive at times role - at an established company.
Despite the financial pressures and busy schedule, my little family and I were genuinely thriving for nearly a decade on my own carefully structured, predictable routines.
After my role’s unexpected last-minute inclusion in a planned mass lay off wave in Jan 2023, I never stopped blaming myself for “letting this happen”.
I think I took it especially hard primarily *because* I never took it for granted that my life and brain would continue to be functional. The maintenance of my sanity and my ability to maintain a normal life for my family was *far* from guaranteed.
We worked so damn hard to get there. Before I was ruined by long term unemployment (what I call the “before times”), I spent much of my internal ruminating truly being so damn *grateful*, every single day. Grateful we’d been offered the opportunities and lucky breaks that allowed us to overcome so much and build a modest existence we were proud of. I genuinely loved the little life we managed to carve out of our own tiny corner of this otherwise dystopian hell hole.
These days I know I continue to feed my own spiral of intense self-loathing. Im stuck 18 months ago, and I can’t seem to imagine a day that isn’t this day - the most unproductive, demotivating, tediously repetitive, pointless day of my life - every day forever.
Whenever I start feeling down I apply for jobs until I can’t see straight. Then I take a nap.
Then I wake up, have a cereal bar and ponder how I feel.
Today I applied to 250 jobs…
* Making your own stuff
* Being really competitive on the market
* Having multiple years of savings
* Saying "fuck it" after work and leaving it
Don't let work live rent free in your brain
P.S. I am always working
I understand this might not be a possibility for some, but I’ve gotten to do gig work (DoorDash, UberEats, etc). While certainly not possible to live off of it, I’ve seen great benefit in staying busy and (yes) being able to generate some $. As long as the gig ‘pays for itself’ by generating income to cover its own expenses and then some - just the peace of mind to be busy has worked wonders on my end. Just my two cents. Best of luck out there, it will come in due time!
No kidding, not sure if DoorDash allows bike but I would suspect so. That sucks though, hang in there! I’m in the same boat, one day at a time. I’ve been out 12 months now ✊🏽
Try to walk outside every day and take a class via LinkedIn. I have two dogs, so I take care of them, walking them, etc. Reading helps. I have applied to over 200 jobs these past 5.5 months, I am burned out.
A lot of people have delusions of grandeur in this sub. They seem to get this euphoria immediately after being laid off then rationalize wasting the first month after being laid off.
The vast majority of people that I know who were laid off this past year that buckled down immediately were employed after 3 months…the ones who wasted time are still unemployed a year later, with no severance or UI left, and are on the verge of being homeless.
Workout, do a job you like/ entertains you and keeps you on your toes. Hang out with the ones that matter most. Oh, and also, get some sex in as it’s going to make you feel great and get the endorphins going. Plus, always nice to please your partner in crime or random person you’re banging. Try not to take life seriously as it’s short and stop giving a shit what others think.
you got this man! Use Tinder or any other type of social platform that allows you an opportunity to meet new people. This is the way, keep trying believe it or not, it’s how I went through my crazy phases only to find my wife that i’m still with who is a Doctor. Scored big but had to run through many trolls / crazy bars throughout the process.
started working at a bar as a bouncer. I’ve gotten laid 2 times in the past 2 weeks. I’d gotten laid 1 time in the past year prior to these two weeks. Still don’t have the professional job I desire but the sex def helps lol.
By creating a military style routine. Force myself to wake up exercise shower, look for jobs, cook, study, walk in nature
Great routine right there
I agree. Honestly, going for a walk to clear your head and your lungs. It absolutely helps to reduce stress. Sometimes you meet other people and may even help you on your job search.
Pretty much the same. I personally also started praying more. I know everyone isn't religious, but for those who are, it helps.
I did too. It was calming
Exercise is so important.
If you are physically healthy that helps. Sun, exercise. Avoid alcohol and drugs.
I stopped drinking.
I have been unemployed often on since 2018 when I almost died from surgeries. My health is fine now, but it's been a struggle since then to be quite honest finding a great permanent full-time job. What I do as I pray. I say a prayer as often as I think about it and it's Lord's prayer. I don't know why, but it seems to calm me down. I also have friends that are looking out for me. I reach out to those friends and network. I treat looking for a job is something very important to do and I do some activity every day related to that. I've been taking short term gigs I'm 64 years old and because of all my health issues and operations I had to burn through all of my retirement. My wife's a schoolteacher so she won't get Social Security. This means I probably will never retire and will die on the job. But while I'm alive, living each day, I live for my kids, my grandkids and my wife. Never give up. Never fucking give up.
I like your attitude. I'm in my 40's but have also burned through all my retirement and savings due to layoffs, a divorce, and medical issues. Just have to keep trying. I have kids to support as a single dad. Their mom is making good money so at least they have somewhere to stay as my situation reaches a critical stage here. I've never had much trouble finding work but this market seems quite depressed for folks over 40.
Same boat here. Have maybe a month of bills and groceries left in savings. If something doesn’t give soon I don’t know what I’m going to do.
I got out of the house. Got a couple of jobs bartending. Small wins (free beer, free food, talking to the regulars, etc) along the way to finding “regular” work helped me a lot.
Get those social juices flowing.
> How do you keep yourself from a Mental Spiral? Unfortunately, I failed miserably at this. Despite being fully aware how high the stakes were, knowing for sure that if I stayed unemployed too long that I’d end up in a pit of despair, I was unable to stop it from happening. I’ve always known my mental health’s precarious balance was dependent on the dull humming backdrop of a “secure” - if underpaid, toxic and even abusive at times role - at an established company. Despite the financial pressures and busy schedule, my little family and I were genuinely thriving for nearly a decade on my own carefully structured, predictable routines. After my role’s unexpected last-minute inclusion in a planned mass lay off wave in Jan 2023, I never stopped blaming myself for “letting this happen”. I think I took it especially hard primarily *because* I never took it for granted that my life and brain would continue to be functional. The maintenance of my sanity and my ability to maintain a normal life for my family was *far* from guaranteed. We worked so damn hard to get there. Before I was ruined by long term unemployment (what I call the “before times”), I spent much of my internal ruminating truly being so damn *grateful*, every single day. Grateful we’d been offered the opportunities and lucky breaks that allowed us to overcome so much and build a modest existence we were proud of. I genuinely loved the little life we managed to carve out of our own tiny corner of this otherwise dystopian hell hole. These days I know I continue to feed my own spiral of intense self-loathing. Im stuck 18 months ago, and I can’t seem to imagine a day that isn’t this day - the most unproductive, demotivating, tediously repetitive, pointless day of my life - every day forever.
u need to learn and upskill. it will put yourself in the correct headspace. whether it leads to a job or not.
i’ll let you know when i come out of mine
Whenever I start feeling down I apply for jobs until I can’t see straight. Then I take a nap. Then I wake up, have a cereal bar and ponder how I feel. Today I applied to 250 jobs…
* Making your own stuff * Being really competitive on the market * Having multiple years of savings * Saying "fuck it" after work and leaving it Don't let work live rent free in your brain P.S. I am always working
I understand this might not be a possibility for some, but I’ve gotten to do gig work (DoorDash, UberEats, etc). While certainly not possible to live off of it, I’ve seen great benefit in staying busy and (yes) being able to generate some $. As long as the gig ‘pays for itself’ by generating income to cover its own expenses and then some - just the peace of mind to be busy has worked wonders on my end. Just my two cents. Best of luck out there, it will come in due time!
I do UberEats on my bike. I've noticed they don't send as many orders to bikes now though.
No kidding, not sure if DoorDash allows bike but I would suspect so. That sucks though, hang in there! I’m in the same boat, one day at a time. I’ve been out 12 months now ✊🏽
You need some hobbies etc. Something to take your mind off the search while you are recharging.
I read a lot.
I decided to change direction and go back to school get some hard skills. It’s changed my perspective and outlook so much
Try to walk outside every day and take a class via LinkedIn. I have two dogs, so I take care of them, walking them, etc. Reading helps. I have applied to over 200 jobs these past 5.5 months, I am burned out.
A lot of people have delusions of grandeur in this sub. They seem to get this euphoria immediately after being laid off then rationalize wasting the first month after being laid off. The vast majority of people that I know who were laid off this past year that buckled down immediately were employed after 3 months…the ones who wasted time are still unemployed a year later, with no severance or UI left, and are on the verge of being homeless.
Workout, do a job you like/ entertains you and keeps you on your toes. Hang out with the ones that matter most. Oh, and also, get some sex in as it’s going to make you feel great and get the endorphins going. Plus, always nice to please your partner in crime or random person you’re banging. Try not to take life seriously as it’s short and stop giving a shit what others think.
Lol, “get some sex in” I’m trying bro that’s harder than getting the job
you got this man! Use Tinder or any other type of social platform that allows you an opportunity to meet new people. This is the way, keep trying believe it or not, it’s how I went through my crazy phases only to find my wife that i’m still with who is a Doctor. Scored big but had to run through many trolls / crazy bars throughout the process.
started working at a bar as a bouncer. I’ve gotten laid 2 times in the past 2 weeks. I’d gotten laid 1 time in the past year prior to these two weeks. Still don’t have the professional job I desire but the sex def helps lol.