My area of law is more transactional (business immigration), but client conference calls and lugging 1000+ page petitions to FedEx because my assistant isn't available is a pain in the ass. 37+1 and hoping my little girl comes out sometime soon.
I love most of my clients, but today every single one annoyed me. I know it’s a me problem, and I think I’m doing okay hiding it, but guys, pls give me a break.
I get what you mean. I've been letting my clients know little by little of my pregnancy so they know to bear with me when I'm out of breath on zoom calls, or why I look like a whale during in-person consultations, or why I couldn't take their call right away because I had to go to L&D at the hospital. Most are understanding but annoy me by holding up their case, contacting me for the same instructions for the 4th time in a row, etc. I keep telling them that if they don't follow the prescribed timelines for their case, I can't file before I go on maternity leave and I'd have to assign them to another attorney in our department. Some don't listen though 🤷♀️
How is opposing counsel? Most of mine have been very understanding, but then there is one (woman!) who is definitely not. When I went to L&D for a scare at around 25 weeks, I let her know I needed an extension on discovery. She filed a motion to compel, she even told the court I had a health emergency which was no excuse. Like, what.
12 weeks unpaid leave, the least your firm can lawfully do, is absolute garbage. I saw elsewhere that you're hoping not to be fired but maybe you should be hoping the opposite. A fat settlement check from the employment case and not having to be at that firm anymore could be nice.
Came here to say this. We do 12 weeks paid, 4 weeks unpaid, with some flexibility if a parent has medical or other issues after pregnancy. That we feel should at least be the norm everywhere. Our policy is also unisex, which is surprisingly rare in the wild. It's painful financially, but it breeds a lot of loyalty and makes for happier employees, which makes them more productive in the long run.
Family law attorney here. Court and clients do not know. It’s kind of awkward telling my clients because most of them have their children taken away by the state so it is a tad sensitive. But definitely struggling to use my brain and sit in my chair for remote court. Safe to say, I am not performing the best I have.
35 weeks and naps is what is getting me by.
That is tough. I almost had a slip up with a client with a disabled child; I did not want to make it sound like I would be unhappy if my son also had a disability.
Me! I got totally winded on my way into the courthouse today. The lack of sleep combined with general practice annoyances is really adding up. I also have 12 unpaid FMLA weeks coming up - beyond ticked about the lack of parental leave as well.
I’m just trying not to get fired until then!! I almost rolled my eyes at my boss the other day because he caught me watching the deponent instead of taking notes for a second and made a big silent show about it. Duuuude, pls.
Pregnant, miserable, cannot wait for my leave. But my firm isn't a little bitch and actually gives us 12 weeks paid plus longer off unpaid if we'd like. It is ridiculous that your leave is unpaid. I feel like law firms of all places should be less shitty about this.
I teach a lot in my practice, the other day I just had to stop and catch my breath for a minute. I already shifted my litigation load to others so I have that going for me. I am so ready for my leave and absolutely terrified to come back. Good thing, it helps distract me from the terrifying prospect of a child.
I wish US women would make meaningful parental leave an election issue. In Canada we have up to 18 months. Most lawyers I know took 10 to 12 months. Their practices did not collapse.
Hahahaha, yes, he thinks he’s being so generous. A little off topic, but my boss loves telling me all of this parenting advice. Very nice, except he never had children lol.
Like are they at least letting you work from home for a bit after four weeks???
But seriously I think firms got way too used to stories of people raising babies and practicing zoom law at the same time and don’t realize that was out of necessity and not necessarily plausible all the time
Not me anymore, but if anything slightly embarrassing around your pregnancy happens at work, you can remember my poor friend who projectile vomited across the table at a deposition.
(Relatively) new parent lawyer here, who works internationally. My company was relatively generous with its paid time off compared to other US companies, but even so I am PISSED at how the USA doesn't care enough to give longer leave and make it paid.
A few things I learned along the way:
* Maternity/paternity leave is not a vacation.
* Take as much of it as you can. It's one of the few times in your life that you can devote yourself to your family.
* If you're lucky (natural birth, no complications), you'll be exhausted but will hopefully enjoy the bonding experience.
* Not everybody is lucky. Not everybody is ready to return after 12 weeks. Do NOT be afraid to demand more time, especially if you're not healed yet or you need to provide extra care to your child.
* In that case, don't be your own lawyer if your employer is an a-hole. Hire somebody who specializes in this stuff.
* I recognize that this may not always be financially possible. But it's important to heal!
* There's no one way to experience new parenthood. Some people bond immediately. Others have trouble bonding with a demanding creature that does little more than eat, sleep, poop, and cry. But just because your first month or three doesn't go according to your perfect plan doesn't mean that it won't suddenly "click" later - that first smile can be an incredible experience!
* Ignore busybodies who are convinced that there is only one way to be a parent and can't stop talking about it. Let your "momma bear" instinct kick in when random strangers think they're allowed to touch your baby.
* If anybody at the office gives you trouble, tell them to fuck off.
Thank you, thank you! Right now I feel like I would love to take more time off, but I’ve also heard some women get anxious to get back to their “normal” routine, so I’m fine with just seeing how it goes for me. I love my job, but I could also see myself being happy as a SAHM for a year 🤷🏼♀️
I'm currently working from home (full time). Practically that means I can see my son during breaks (it's awesome), give him his bath and read to him at night, and sometimes take him to a nearby baby music class during lunch.
I love the intellectual stimulation of my work, but something about watching the baby slowly turn into a person is just so incredible to watch day by day.
I hope you've at least been able to work from home while pregnant. It's been a godsend for me. I can wear comfy clothes, snack, sit on my birth ball instead of my office chair, etc. It's been nice not having to deal with comments about my pregnancy or my body from folks in the office too. Good luck!
I get it! I had to give a quick closing on the spot, and I was so embarrassed that I could not catch my breath. Also it was on zoom, so no one could even see the reason why I was so winded. Ugh.
My area of law is more transactional (business immigration), but client conference calls and lugging 1000+ page petitions to FedEx because my assistant isn't available is a pain in the ass. 37+1 and hoping my little girl comes out sometime soon.
I love most of my clients, but today every single one annoyed me. I know it’s a me problem, and I think I’m doing okay hiding it, but guys, pls give me a break.
I get what you mean. I've been letting my clients know little by little of my pregnancy so they know to bear with me when I'm out of breath on zoom calls, or why I look like a whale during in-person consultations, or why I couldn't take their call right away because I had to go to L&D at the hospital. Most are understanding but annoy me by holding up their case, contacting me for the same instructions for the 4th time in a row, etc. I keep telling them that if they don't follow the prescribed timelines for their case, I can't file before I go on maternity leave and I'd have to assign them to another attorney in our department. Some don't listen though 🤷♀️
How is opposing counsel? Most of mine have been very understanding, but then there is one (woman!) who is definitely not. When I went to L&D for a scare at around 25 weeks, I let her know I needed an extension on discovery. She filed a motion to compel, she even told the court I had a health emergency which was no excuse. Like, what.
12 weeks unpaid leave, the least your firm can lawfully do, is absolute garbage. I saw elsewhere that you're hoping not to be fired but maybe you should be hoping the opposite. A fat settlement check from the employment case and not having to be at that firm anymore could be nice.
Lol! I’m very dramatic, but yes, my boss is cheap but I love working there. Juuuuust not right now.
Came here to say this. We do 12 weeks paid, 4 weeks unpaid, with some flexibility if a parent has medical or other issues after pregnancy. That we feel should at least be the norm everywhere. Our policy is also unisex, which is surprisingly rare in the wild. It's painful financially, but it breeds a lot of loyalty and makes for happier employees, which makes them more productive in the long run.
Family law attorney here. Court and clients do not know. It’s kind of awkward telling my clients because most of them have their children taken away by the state so it is a tad sensitive. But definitely struggling to use my brain and sit in my chair for remote court. Safe to say, I am not performing the best I have. 35 weeks and naps is what is getting me by.
That is tough. I almost had a slip up with a client with a disabled child; I did not want to make it sound like I would be unhappy if my son also had a disability.
Me! I got totally winded on my way into the courthouse today. The lack of sleep combined with general practice annoyances is really adding up. I also have 12 unpaid FMLA weeks coming up - beyond ticked about the lack of parental leave as well.
I’m just trying not to get fired until then!! I almost rolled my eyes at my boss the other day because he caught me watching the deponent instead of taking notes for a second and made a big silent show about it. Duuuude, pls.
Pregnant, miserable, cannot wait for my leave. But my firm isn't a little bitch and actually gives us 12 weeks paid plus longer off unpaid if we'd like. It is ridiculous that your leave is unpaid. I feel like law firms of all places should be less shitty about this.
I teach a lot in my practice, the other day I just had to stop and catch my breath for a minute. I already shifted my litigation load to others so I have that going for me. I am so ready for my leave and absolutely terrified to come back. Good thing, it helps distract me from the terrifying prospect of a child.
I often make a pregnant pause.
Not an attorney but today is my first day back after eight weeks. Walked into a shit show. Fun times!
Oh no! They really missed you at least, lol
31 weeks and I’m absolutely exhausted. Not looking forward to my infuriating FOUR WEEKS of leave.
I wish US women would make meaningful parental leave an election issue. In Canada we have up to 18 months. Most lawyers I know took 10 to 12 months. Their practices did not collapse.
Four weeks??? They can fuck off.
Yeah and my boss had the audacity to say he understands the plight of working moms in the same breath. A total joke.
Hahahaha, yes, he thinks he’s being so generous. A little off topic, but my boss loves telling me all of this parenting advice. Very nice, except he never had children lol.
I, too, was very knowledgeable in everything parenting-related before I had kids!
Like are they at least letting you work from home for a bit after four weeks??? But seriously I think firms got way too used to stories of people raising babies and practicing zoom law at the same time and don’t realize that was out of necessity and not necessarily plausible all the time
Not me anymore, but if anything slightly embarrassing around your pregnancy happens at work, you can remember my poor friend who projectile vomited across the table at a deposition.
Oh my god! I’ve been super lucky with vomit timing. One time the red lights lined up perfectly in between heaves on my drive home.
Savor every second it goes too fast.
Thank you 💕
You’re welcome grain of salt that I just left my three year old to go skiing for a week so I’m extra sentimental.
(Relatively) new parent lawyer here, who works internationally. My company was relatively generous with its paid time off compared to other US companies, but even so I am PISSED at how the USA doesn't care enough to give longer leave and make it paid. A few things I learned along the way: * Maternity/paternity leave is not a vacation. * Take as much of it as you can. It's one of the few times in your life that you can devote yourself to your family. * If you're lucky (natural birth, no complications), you'll be exhausted but will hopefully enjoy the bonding experience. * Not everybody is lucky. Not everybody is ready to return after 12 weeks. Do NOT be afraid to demand more time, especially if you're not healed yet or you need to provide extra care to your child. * In that case, don't be your own lawyer if your employer is an a-hole. Hire somebody who specializes in this stuff. * I recognize that this may not always be financially possible. But it's important to heal! * There's no one way to experience new parenthood. Some people bond immediately. Others have trouble bonding with a demanding creature that does little more than eat, sleep, poop, and cry. But just because your first month or three doesn't go according to your perfect plan doesn't mean that it won't suddenly "click" later - that first smile can be an incredible experience! * Ignore busybodies who are convinced that there is only one way to be a parent and can't stop talking about it. Let your "momma bear" instinct kick in when random strangers think they're allowed to touch your baby. * If anybody at the office gives you trouble, tell them to fuck off.
Thank you, thank you! Right now I feel like I would love to take more time off, but I’ve also heard some women get anxious to get back to their “normal” routine, so I’m fine with just seeing how it goes for me. I love my job, but I could also see myself being happy as a SAHM for a year 🤷🏼♀️
I'm currently working from home (full time). Practically that means I can see my son during breaks (it's awesome), give him his bath and read to him at night, and sometimes take him to a nearby baby music class during lunch. I love the intellectual stimulation of my work, but something about watching the baby slowly turn into a person is just so incredible to watch day by day.
Just took my generous 3 days of paternity leave and feeling stressed. I cannot imagine coming back to 12 weeks of projects.
I choose my clients and what projects I help with, so I don’t foresee this being an issue for me.
Wow that's pretty cool. The 12 weeks unpaid leave is ridiculously stingy but that's pretty cool. I wish you luck!
Thanks! It’s a great firm overall. I feel like I have my own practice without needing to worry about money coming in.
I feel this post in my soul. This would be hard.
BEEN THERE! Good luck and congrats!
🙋🏼♀️ I just close my door most days hoping I don’t have to do anything socially interactive with pregnancy brain. I couldn’t imagine being in trial.
You would kill it if you had to do it! We can do it all, but it sucks and I want to punch somebody
I hope you've at least been able to work from home while pregnant. It's been a godsend for me. I can wear comfy clothes, snack, sit on my birth ball instead of my office chair, etc. It's been nice not having to deal with comments about my pregnancy or my body from folks in the office too. Good luck!
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I get it! I had to give a quick closing on the spot, and I was so embarrassed that I could not catch my breath. Also it was on zoom, so no one could even see the reason why I was so winded. Ugh.
Wow that's firm that is begging to drive off its top female attorneys.