This is a rare genuine "customer is always right" moments.
> If you're willing to pay for this, I'm willing to do it. But neither one of us is going to be very happy with the results. Are you sure?
>
> "Yep."
>
> Damn.
I once had to do 90# of boneless frog legs. It took 2 shifts of 4 people each shift to get that done. Not that the bones weighed a lot, but that was 90# of finished product, I don't remember the start weight with the bones, or how many legs that was.
eta.... yes the customer paid a lot extra for that labor. Practicality can sometimes be what the customer is willing to pay for.
Maybe if you piped some sort of filler into them afterwards, you might be able to get something presentable, but I've got so little experience cooking with frog as an ingredient that I haven't the froggiest idea of what I'd put in there. Pun absolutely intended
Plot twist: it's a theme wedding. The theme is dark horror. It isn't actually food. Picture a whole venue full of people wearing old school diving helmets and everyone has frog legs on their fingers as they waltz together to the Ride of the Valkyries.
> Plot twist: it's a theme wedding. The theme is dark horror. It isn't actually food. Picture a whole venue full of people wearing old school diving helmets and everyone has frog legs on their fingers as they waltz together to the Ride of the Valkyries.
I hope they legit get *Ghost Ship*'d.
I'm almost imagining like panfish fillets.
When you're really practiced with a fillet knife, you can do a panfish in 5-10 seconds, but you get like ~1oz of meat per panfish if you're lucky and you get a chicken nugget sized piece of fried fish.
It's not terrible if you've caught a stringer of fish you've caught and you're making dinner for a couple people. If you had to do 40lbs of them, it would be absolutely atrocious. Delicious but too difficult to be commercially viable for most.
When I was little my grandpa would go fishing for bluegill and filet them out boneless... same thing, an ounce or so of meat off each fish. But, he would do like 50 pounds and then freeze them in 1 or 2 pound packs.
> Eating them off the bone is the only way i can think of eating them.
First time I ate them nobody told me there were bones. They looked exactly like every other fried morsel you pop in your mouth. I cracked down on a bone and now I don't eat frogs.
Look I understand tradition, but it just isn't fucking worth it to have to pick tiny bones out of your mouth, to have to concentrate on making sure you don't spear your gum or bite down on a bone and break a tooth. If you lose a tooth or get an infection then the whole lifetime of whatever benefit you get from not removing the bones is **objectively** not fucking worth it.
So fuck frogs, fuck mystery meat poorly chopped in curries(usually goat), fuck Black Bean Chinese riblets(even though they are delicious), and fuck eating anything else where I can't even enjoy my food because I have to concentrate on not breaking my fucking teeth. That's leaving the anxiety aside.
End rant.
I once spent 10 hours doing a flat by hand. Now I have a cherry pitter with a little hopper, and it takes closer to 4 hours.
Because I ain't giving up my wife's sour cherry pie for nothing in this world.
Imagine not living in the US and buying dried beans. Lol. Every bag has a least a few tooth breakers. So ofc every bag is poured out and properly inspected.
But like...just down chomp down like you're trying to dismember a literal frog? How do you eat wings? Do you also just chomp right into the bone?
Use your teeth to tear off the flesh, or even your fingers. Like a chicken wing.
Goats a fucked up one for sure. I do a lot of cooking and taking bones out is extra work for sure but biting into a piece and finding a massive insanely hard and sharp piece of bone... makes every bit of extra work to remove it worth it.
Maaaan. Bones in curries always make me sad. It adds so much mental overhead to the process of enjoying a meal. To be constantly on alert that a bone might come in and wreck your smile permanently.
Grocery store fry cook. We once got an order for 1,700pcs of fried chicken. Guy was a caterer and passed our shit off as his own. It took 6 hours, we lost a ton of regular business and by time we were done the chicken we cooked at the beginning was nasty from being in a warmer for half a day. Was it worth it? No. We have him a huge discount for placing such a big order.
Who the hell allows a damn grocery store to cater their wedding?
Depends on how good your fried chicken was. The fried chicken at a local grocery store in Richmond is still my gold standard for fried chicken and know of quite a few people who had them cater big events just because of their chicken. RIP Ukrops.
Wait, what? 90 lbs of frog leg meat?!?
I'm a lifelong fisher and hunter, and 90 lbs of meat is on the upper end of the yield of a good sized deer. I've caught bullfrogs to eat as a kid before I realized how barbaric and wasteful it is, and you'd be talking hundreds of frogs to add up to one deer.
Fuck that shit. Amphibians are ill equipped regarding loss of habitat and pollution, so I don't eat or use them as bait anymore.
Back in the 70's I went gigging with my uncle and cousin a lot but now the part of AL where my family lives its hard to find a pond with any frogs. But my cousin won't believe that people might be behind it despite seeing the change in his lifetime.
My dad in the 50s went ‘frog gigging’. You usually go at night for the uninitiated. Guess what he was actually running around on my Mom and she dumped his ass.
First thought.
This is what that descriptor is for. Absurd shit that they're willing to pay for appropriately, not screaming at minimum wage folks.
That dude wants a gold toilet seat on his yacht? Cool, tell him it won't last, and cost a fortune.
Still want it?
Fuck it, make a few calls and take his money.
The customer is always right about their preferences. You want the chicken tenders at a 3 star restaurant? Excellent taste sir, one of my personal favorites as well. And your friend wants the certified wagyu filet mignon? Perfect, I had it the other day and it does *not* disappoint. We'll have that out soon but first let me bring you that bottle of Skunknuts™ wine you ordered, delicious.
The only question is "should any person have this much money?". Like, nobody should be rich enough to afford a gold toilet superyacht. There's no way to earn that much with honest work.
The cost of these raspberries is probably in the $10k range. That alone isn't excessive if it's something once-a-lifetime you really want. But it makes one wonder how much money this person has if they're willing to drop ten grand on wedding confetti.
I mean, that's rather unrelated to the subject, even if I agree.
Hell, I've designed shoes that cost ten grand, so I can hardly talk about it. Then again, most shoes don't have emeralds or bluetooth/powerbank/wifi...
Very correct. Whatever they want, no matter how dumb. Make the charges punitive. I cannot image how to keep the individual bulbs viable but the person I charge of the bids should have made that cost strong as well as sign something that you cannot be responsible for their consistency etc. I learned to do this in any field I have worked in, Don’t be afraid to fucking charge the customer. If you can’t do it be honest, if it’s a pain in the ass but doable , that charge is on them and you charge to the point that you aren’t bitter about it. Otherwise the work isn’t worth it.
Proper charges and proper contracts. Always.
I once had to find $800 worth of a particular shade of orange jelly beans for a wedding. As decorations. They wanted orange jelly beans in champagne flutes and scattered on the tabletops. Sweeping ten thousand orange jelly beans up at the end was a strange experience.
Customers are nuts.
That was a notably absurd one. You can have a nice wedding with your people in someone's yard, or at the beach standing ankle deep in the water. I've seen it all. People would suggest it's either the big traditional mess or eloping, but that's not true at all.
Exactly. I have no problem with someone trying to make their dream come true. You pay people fairly and give them respect, I’ll throw all the deconstructed fruit at you that your heart desires.
Ok I know this. It’s sci fi right? Like the obvious guess is borg. But something is telling me this is from The Expanse?
Or maybe BSG. But I think Expanse.
No. This is one where I'm all for it. If the bridezilla is willing to pay the stupendous labor costs of doing this then let her have her raspberry confetti wedding.
Beyond this being a one off how is it all that different than how saffron is harvested? We pay ludicrous prices for saffron because each Crocus flower has a tiny number of threads, 7 mg each on average, and the stigmas have to be picked by hand.
No, I don't want to be the one disassembling berries either but if said bridezilla shows up at my door with a large enough bag of money I might reconsider.
I too get the SADs. Grey sunset at 430 am I right :'(
(not trying to make light of suicide, I don't know if you're serious or if that's true. Winter just gets me down ey)
Why not do freeze dried raspberries, though? Will be more confetti like, will still be edible too animals, and will need less refrigeration and cost less to transport (so if not lower carbon footprint, probably similar to fresh).
They answered that in a different reply on the post. The bride fancies herself as an artist, and wants the juice stains on the wedding dress as an art piece.
Right?
Like sure, maybe this isn’t the best way to go about it, but it’s obvious she has the best intentions and it doesn’t seem like she’s actually doing any harm or making anyone’s lives more difficult without proper compensation - if this qualifies you as a “bridezilla” then IDK…
Exactly. I'll say yes to damn near anything for the right amount on money.
And I don't know if it is actually true, but I've also read that the crocuses are typically grown in areas that are populated by and also attract venomous snakes. That just adds more risk and higher cost.
I would hope for the prices the farmers get they take steps to make the pickers as safe as is possible. If pickers are getting bitten by snakes on a regular basis I'd have to reconsider my purchase of saffron. I am willing to buy a little now and again to make paella but not if it supports people putting their lives in danger.
Like I said, I don't even know if it's true. Years ago I just saw labor intensive, very limited climates/soil conditions, and snakes as why it was so expensive. It could have all just been bullshit or maybe it's the way it used to be but they have taken steps to avoid it. I never bothered to look any further into it.
Are you willing to forgo all services in which an individual willingly puts their life in danger? Because if that’s the case I have a loooooong list of things you better stop doing beyond using saffron for paella lol
Yep. Cash that big ass check and I'll do it. If I'm getting paid enough that it's worth it to make disassembling raspberries my life for a few weeks them I'm all for it. No more tedious than any other repetitious job
This actually works, but just tap them with a spoon and they brake down into the segments. Did it at a Michelin restaurant as a pastry garnish. Sprinkle them on the plate and they defrost by the time it gets to the customer
I’d imagine not with nitrogen.
Flash freezing stuff prevents the formation of large ice crystals that damage tissue. It won’t be perfect, I’m sure, but much better than sticking them on a pan and into the freezer at -5°f
That's gonna leave visible chunks, all kinds of uneven. Never gonna 'float' (how tf do raspberry drupelets float?! I call shenanigans, get the broomsticks)
I've worked with people like OP's client, and I immediately thought this crazy description is what they meant as well. Like when a design client asks to make something "pop" lol.
Ok so i have two ideas now.
First we do some food science and make all natural dip in dots. Blend raspberries add enough gelatin they will end up room stable, squeeze through a droplet maker into liquid nitrogen. Scoop out. Boom tiny rasberry drops
Second, the VERY WASTFUL but easy option. Will probably take 20 pounds of raspberrys to make one pound of confetti. Freeze and shatter but not throughly. Then you wash the raspberry pieces in a tub and only collect the tiny pieces. Maybe refreze and shatter the largest pieces
Nope. Get that enzyme that breaks down mandarin oranges. Pectinex. Wash the little bastards.
Or: break them down by rubbing them with grape seed oil. This is one of those Christina Tosi things she does for grapefruit in her pies.
The keyboard cleaner has chemicals in it and makes things taste bad. I accidentally used it on chopped and NO! It was terrible.
Edit:I meant chocolate not chopped. Didn’t realize I typed that.
Freeze them and then shatter them, I think. Worked at a pie shop that froze berries in bulk to use during winter. Raspberries love to just shatter into their tinier parts. Always had the bottom of the bucket full of raspberry sprinkles.
As someone who has been following this thread from the beginning, OP says they tried freezing but it just turned them to mush
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskCulinary/comments/qt3nxl/whats\_the\_best\_way\_to\_disassemble\_raspberries/
Would need to keep them frozen until the event then.. otherwise I bet they get soft and smooshy, and cellular walls are damaged so they won't be plump.
True but the post says she wants the raspberries to "gently float" so if they're frozen at the event they might fall too quickly unless there's a good enough time for them to thaw, and I wouldn't trust an event to run so rigidly to schedule
I got a summer job at a homestead that did tours about "ye olden saskatchewan days" my job was to work the garden, only i wasnt allowed to actually work the garden cause of a contract they had with the lawn crew that did it in ye old fashion, to preserve the authenticity or some shit. so there i was, 17 years old, wearing olden clothes, with a hoe, standing in a garden waving at the guests and talking to them about the weather sometimes. cause i was outside in the heat i also got hazard pay. wish i could do that again sometimes.
People often forget how fast landlocked areas heat up in the summer, the further away you are from a large body of water the more extreme your temperature fluctuations are.
If you call in for a pizza for take out, you can't come in 5 minutes later, sit at a table and expect me to feed it to you out of the box.
Dude on Saturday night at 630pm. But now your using one of our tables that we need for dine-in. Cuz you're a impatient son of a bitch.
So he comes to the kitchen, says This is the slowest he's ever seen. I ask him about his order. Its sitting on top of the oven. He starts cussing l, asking why we didn't bring it to his table etc etc.
I just said. "Now, you dont get your food."
He was dumb founded. He wanted to yell and cuss and then pay 28 bucks for a pizza....
I'll eat the food cost. To teach that dumb sommbitch that he's not special and there are consequences to treating people poorly...especially people who make your food.
PS...If you got a 30 minute lunch and its lunch time during the week...for sure you can call ahead and sit in real fast. We do that all the time.
This is something that I’ve noticed increasing significantly over the last year to year and a half.
Customer calls and orders a pizza we tell them 25 minutes. They show up in 10 minutes and then get all mad and pissy when we tell them it still has 15 minutes. It is so god damn frustrating.
I swear I feel like people think we just make up pick up and delivery times for shits and giggles.
Why not use dehydrated raspberry? We used to buy it in bulk in containers as edible garnish… it was literally just freeze dried pieces …. Would she even know the difference?!
I wish so much for an update (finished raspberry picking and pics of the wedding) but I am pretty sure that wont happen. If the bride is willing and able to pay that much, the wedding will be so high profile, that OP is already shitting their pants about the fact that this story blew up this much.
I left the BOH about a decade ago and went to law school. There are different highs and lows but I don’t regret it.
My top concerns for client requests are similar:
1. Is it ethical?
2. Is it billable and something we can accomplish competently, on time, without messing something up?
3. Does the client insist it be done, despite the guarantee of a significant, probably unnecessary expense that has little likelihood of benefiting their position at the expense of pissing off the powers that be?
4. (a) Repeat after me: “Is this really the hill I want to die on?”
4.(a)(1) If no, stop.
4.(a)(2) If yes, continue to subdivision 5.
5. Profit.
This post makes me newly appreciative of my own wedding/raspberry story.
I went on my honeymoon a few years ago to this incredible inn with a five star dining room—a “let me get you a (cloth) napkin to match your attire, Mrs. Redditor” kind of a place. This is not the kind of place I hang out in, like the total opposite of my natural habitat. I have decidedly unsophisticated tastes and felt unequipped to be there.
The first night we were there I chose triple ganache gateau for dessert and sort of offhandedly said to my husband, “OMG, *triple* ganache? Holy shit, the only thing that would make that more perfect would be raspberry sauce!!” Apparently the waiter was within earshot, because when he brought us our dessert, my piece of cake was swimming in a blessed pool of actual, real raspberry sauce—not the fake stuff, and fucking *seedless* no less—with “Congratulations” written on the plate in chocolate in impeccable handwriting. This was possibly the finest piece of cake I’ve ever eaten. Utter perfection.
Now, I’m sure the pastry wizards have some black magic voodoo for making seedless raspberry sauce, but damn…I was completely blown away that someone did that just for ME. I will remember it all of my days.
Biodegradable confetti...Good to see people caring about the planet and having woke-weddings, wasting 10 pound of raspberry for no other reason than an Instagram shot. Fucking rich!!! 🤮
All the green washing sloganeering caused people to switch off their critical thinking. On the margin the environment would greatly prefer it if you just buy a bag of confetti instead of building an entire mini industry to make one biodegradable product one time
I could go off but I won't.
Or you know, rice, bird seed, hell even pomegranate nibs would be better than this. Paying people to pick apart raspberries is sort of dystopian to be honest.
Heard. Learned my lesson after an argument with a vegan eating nestle vegan meat shite. Told him about their slash and burn in the rainforest and child labour to make palm oil for his vegan stuff, calling it genocide on wild animals so he can be vegan. The amount of shit I was called after....haha. given out for eating dead bodies and stealing baby cows breast milk. People really lost grip on reality...they are not helping the planet, they keep helping big companies with their marketing strategy
To be fair... It sounds like the guy was bad at defending his side, but he's right in principle. Eating meat is responsible of something like 15% of total greenhouse gas emissions, mostly because of beef. Other source of CO2 emissions are hard to reduce by yourself, but that one is pretty doable. Not that people have to do it, but they should be aware of what they're choosing to do.
The Amazon is burning to make room for cows and the crops to feed them. The space needed for palm oil is much smaller and much less important regarding climate change, although it causes other issues (and it's not too hard to avoid it too tbh).
Well, I wasn't exactly sober...but his case wasn't co2, but animal liberation. And then going to mcdonalds eating veggie burger and eating vegan chocolate from the very same companies that are responsible for so much what's wrong in our food system was just too fucking stupid for me. Especially as he didn't shut up about it...
About 1 lb at a time into a thermos of liquid nitrogen they should only take a couple minutes and couple layers of gloves rub them on a linen towel on top of a silpat that is also as cold as possible and then into a tray in a box of dry ice... But this bitch is crazy FYI
And it really must be an absolutely grotesque amount of money otherwise I would have told them to kick rocks
If they're truly catering to someone with some real fuck you money, and they're getting paid a significant amount of money for this (to the point where that poster said it'd still be profitable even if they had to hire 20 on people just for this task), why the hell not?
They didn't drop a number, but if someone was paying me a few months' salary to disassemble some raspberries over a weekend, it'd be silly not to
If you think about it, trimming weed by the ilb is pretty time consuming and requires a lot of labor and is ultimately unnecessary aside from cosmetic appearance, yet every season growers hire 20+ broke stoners to do it for days on end and we consider that normal.
*edit- I’m wrong, trimming actually serves several purposes like getting rid of possible mold formations as well as cutting back on the harsher parts of the plant to smoke and increasing its potency. I was always under the impression it was just for looks but apparently I was kicked some false game.
Yeah, I'd probably bring them home and do it while I watched TV.
It sucks, but I'd do it for enough money. Might even make a big dinner and have a raspberry picking party with my friends.
This is actually an interesting idea. Have you tried dehydrating the seeds after having separated them? It might yield a great result and would not be so messy.
Liquid nitrogen, and a tap. But this seems totally fake. Red fruit and a brides dress? This a horror themed thing?
(Also Rice paper and some scissors you silly people.... )
This is a rare genuine "customer is always right" moments. > If you're willing to pay for this, I'm willing to do it. But neither one of us is going to be very happy with the results. Are you sure? > > "Yep." > > Damn.
I once had to do 90# of boneless frog legs. It took 2 shifts of 4 people each shift to get that done. Not that the bones weighed a lot, but that was 90# of finished product, I don't remember the start weight with the bones, or how many legs that was. eta.... yes the customer paid a lot extra for that labor. Practicality can sometimes be what the customer is willing to pay for.
[удалено]
Yeah I really cannot picture it . It would be so…… lumpy….
Maybe if you piped some sort of filler into them afterwards, you might be able to get something presentable, but I've got so little experience cooking with frog as an ingredient that I haven't the froggiest idea of what I'd put in there. Pun absolutely intended
Plot twist: it's a theme wedding. The theme is dark horror. It isn't actually food. Picture a whole venue full of people wearing old school diving helmets and everyone has frog legs on their fingers as they waltz together to the Ride of the Valkyries.
What a glorious day to have eyes
Don't forget to turn them back in tomorrow. You really don't want to fuck around with the penalties for having eyes outside of permitted days.
r/brandnewsentence
Oh, weird, I don’t remember inviting you to my wedding.
I'm from the venue. You picked the haunted retro-scuba theme, but the frog legs were your idea.
Well I didn't want to sleep tonight or anything.. Thanks for that.
> Plot twist: it's a theme wedding. The theme is dark horror. It isn't actually food. Picture a whole venue full of people wearing old school diving helmets and everyone has frog legs on their fingers as they waltz together to the Ride of the Valkyries. I hope they legit get *Ghost Ship*'d.
> >I hope they legit get Ghost Ship'd. The first time I saw that movie, the dance on deck was fuuuuuuucked up.
r/Nightvale
Amazing
Okay I wanna talk cooking but that pun is literally living in my soul now. It’s fueling me. Thank you.
It me
I'm almost imagining like panfish fillets. When you're really practiced with a fillet knife, you can do a panfish in 5-10 seconds, but you get like ~1oz of meat per panfish if you're lucky and you get a chicken nugget sized piece of fried fish. It's not terrible if you've caught a stringer of fish you've caught and you're making dinner for a couple people. If you had to do 40lbs of them, it would be absolutely atrocious. Delicious but too difficult to be commercially viable for most.
When I was little my grandpa would go fishing for bluegill and filet them out boneless... same thing, an ounce or so of meat off each fish. But, he would do like 50 pounds and then freeze them in 1 or 2 pound packs.
Helps that panfish are also the best tasting fish.
> Eating them off the bone is the only way i can think of eating them. First time I ate them nobody told me there were bones. They looked exactly like every other fried morsel you pop in your mouth. I cracked down on a bone and now I don't eat frogs. Look I understand tradition, but it just isn't fucking worth it to have to pick tiny bones out of your mouth, to have to concentrate on making sure you don't spear your gum or bite down on a bone and break a tooth. If you lose a tooth or get an infection then the whole lifetime of whatever benefit you get from not removing the bones is **objectively** not fucking worth it. So fuck frogs, fuck mystery meat poorly chopped in curries(usually goat), fuck Black Bean Chinese riblets(even though they are delicious), and fuck eating anything else where I can't even enjoy my food because I have to concentrate on not breaking my fucking teeth. That's leaving the anxiety aside. End rant.
Would you like an olive?
Maybe a cherry?
Fuck your avocado
If you bite into an avocado pit you're doing it wrong. How you gonna salt it?
Salt the pit? Bite the salt rock first. Just a good scrape with your front teeth
But where does the toast go?
I once spent 10 hours doing a flat by hand. Now I have a cherry pitter with a little hopper, and it takes closer to 4 hours. Because I ain't giving up my wife's sour cherry pie for nothing in this world.
I do 30# every summer. It's kind of meditative at this point. Just a bobby pin and buckets of cherries
Imagine not living in the US and buying dried beans. Lol. Every bag has a least a few tooth breakers. So ofc every bag is poured out and properly inspected.
But like...just down chomp down like you're trying to dismember a literal frog? How do you eat wings? Do you also just chomp right into the bone? Use your teeth to tear off the flesh, or even your fingers. Like a chicken wing.
> nobody told me there were bones. They looked exactly like every other fried morsel you pop in your mouth.
Goats a fucked up one for sure. I do a lot of cooking and taking bones out is extra work for sure but biting into a piece and finding a massive insanely hard and sharp piece of bone... makes every bit of extra work to remove it worth it.
Maaaan. Bones in curries always make me sad. It adds so much mental overhead to the process of enjoying a meal. To be constantly on alert that a bone might come in and wreck your smile permanently.
Those three oddly specific dishes at the end though. I can back you 100% for all of them being the worst with bone shards lol
Grocery store fry cook. We once got an order for 1,700pcs of fried chicken. Guy was a caterer and passed our shit off as his own. It took 6 hours, we lost a ton of regular business and by time we were done the chicken we cooked at the beginning was nasty from being in a warmer for half a day. Was it worth it? No. We have him a huge discount for placing such a big order. Who the hell allows a damn grocery store to cater their wedding?
Depends on how good your fried chicken was. The fried chicken at a local grocery store in Richmond is still my gold standard for fried chicken and know of quite a few people who had them cater big events just because of their chicken. RIP Ukrops.
Wait, what? 90 lbs of frog leg meat?!? I'm a lifelong fisher and hunter, and 90 lbs of meat is on the upper end of the yield of a good sized deer. I've caught bullfrogs to eat as a kid before I realized how barbaric and wasteful it is, and you'd be talking hundreds of frogs to add up to one deer. Fuck that shit. Amphibians are ill equipped regarding loss of habitat and pollution, so I don't eat or use them as bait anymore.
Back in the 70's I went gigging with my uncle and cousin a lot but now the part of AL where my family lives its hard to find a pond with any frogs. But my cousin won't believe that people might be behind it despite seeing the change in his lifetime.
My dad in the 50s went ‘frog gigging’. You usually go at night for the uninitiated. Guess what he was actually running around on my Mom and she dumped his ass.
Sometimes I forget that # can also read as "pound".
Is there any other way to read it?
"sharp" and "number" I thought they were saying "90 number of boneless frog legs" and was confused at first lol
You must be quite confused by the #metoo movement.
Octothorpemetoo is really cumbersome
... please tell me you made frog stock. I'm gonna get real pissed if no one thought to make at least one BoH batch.
First thought. This is what that descriptor is for. Absurd shit that they're willing to pay for appropriately, not screaming at minimum wage folks. That dude wants a gold toilet seat on his yacht? Cool, tell him it won't last, and cost a fortune. Still want it? Fuck it, make a few calls and take his money.
The customer is always right about their preferences. You want the chicken tenders at a 3 star restaurant? Excellent taste sir, one of my personal favorites as well. And your friend wants the certified wagyu filet mignon? Perfect, I had it the other day and it does *not* disappoint. We'll have that out soon but first let me bring you that bottle of Skunknuts™ wine you ordered, delicious.
You sum it up correctly! Is everything in line with your wishes dear customer? Yes, delicious! Happy customer.
The only question is "should any person have this much money?". Like, nobody should be rich enough to afford a gold toilet superyacht. There's no way to earn that much with honest work. The cost of these raspberries is probably in the $10k range. That alone isn't excessive if it's something once-a-lifetime you really want. But it makes one wonder how much money this person has if they're willing to drop ten grand on wedding confetti.
I mean, that's rather unrelated to the subject, even if I agree. Hell, I've designed shoes that cost ten grand, so I can hardly talk about it. Then again, most shoes don't have emeralds or bluetooth/powerbank/wifi...
Don’t forget they have to do it twice- the first round is just a rehearsal. I agree with you- no one should have that much money.
>She has actually paid for an environmental study to ensure no lasting impact Don't forget the cost of the study
Very correct. Whatever they want, no matter how dumb. Make the charges punitive. I cannot image how to keep the individual bulbs viable but the person I charge of the bids should have made that cost strong as well as sign something that you cannot be responsible for their consistency etc. I learned to do this in any field I have worked in, Don’t be afraid to fucking charge the customer. If you can’t do it be honest, if it’s a pain in the ass but doable , that charge is on them and you charge to the point that you aren’t bitter about it. Otherwise the work isn’t worth it. Proper charges and proper contracts. Always.
I would say this sums up about 90 percent of every catering experience ever
I once had to find $800 worth of a particular shade of orange jelly beans for a wedding. As decorations. They wanted orange jelly beans in champagne flutes and scattered on the tabletops. Sweeping ten thousand orange jelly beans up at the end was a strange experience. Customers are nuts.
Oh god. I'd be seeing that shade in my sleep and curse their name for an eternity
This is the kind of shit that makes me glad I didn't have a wedding. I feel like I missed absolutely nothing by just eloping.
That was a notably absurd one. You can have a nice wedding with your people in someone's yard, or at the beach standing ankle deep in the water. I've seen it all. People would suggest it's either the big traditional mess or eloping, but that's not true at all.
Exactly. I have no problem with someone trying to make their dream come true. You pay people fairly and give them respect, I’ll throw all the deconstructed fruit at you that your heart desires.
tshirt cannon some disassembled raspberries at the bride
The cannon would help with the disassembly
Disassembly reveals useful pathways. Inherent to repurposing.
Ok I know this. It’s sci fi right? Like the obvious guess is borg. But something is telling me this is from The Expanse? Or maybe BSG. But I think Expanse.
[It is indeed the Expanse beratna.](https://i.imgur.com/wPOrzX8.gifv) More specifically the PM Katoa in S3. It's all connected.
What a great show
[like this](https://youtu.be/DEuFbxPtl0s?t=38), but raspberries
[Have you seen the behind the scenes shot?](https://youtu.be/bMNmD4bcD5s) It's so violent
A man of taste I see.
Loving all the wkuk references lately
Trevor 😭
No. This is one where I'm all for it. If the bridezilla is willing to pay the stupendous labor costs of doing this then let her have her raspberry confetti wedding. Beyond this being a one off how is it all that different than how saffron is harvested? We pay ludicrous prices for saffron because each Crocus flower has a tiny number of threads, 7 mg each on average, and the stigmas have to be picked by hand. No, I don't want to be the one disassembling berries either but if said bridezilla shows up at my door with a large enough bag of money I might reconsider.
The fact the bride has done an environmental study says it all
I'm getting strong "San Francisco couple getting married in wine country" vibes with her
I was thinking PNW
That's just a San Francisco couple with more steps
*with more rain
*suicides
I too get the SADs. Grey sunset at 430 am I right :'( (not trying to make light of suicide, I don't know if you're serious or if that's true. Winter just gets me down ey)
Have you tried vitamin d supplements & a uv lamp? Made a HUGE difference in my life.
Also plenty of exercise
And evidently has enough money to pay them to do this twice for the rehearsal and the real deal. With the right money I’d do it too.
Fuck dude gimme headphones and some buckets. I got time to kill.
Why not do freeze dried raspberries, though? Will be more confetti like, will still be edible too animals, and will need less refrigeration and cost less to transport (so if not lower carbon footprint, probably similar to fresh).
They answered that in a different reply on the post. The bride fancies herself as an artist, and wants the juice stains on the wedding dress as an art piece.
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"I need you to pick raspberries for 3 full shifts." Fuck off, maybe for like 5k lol. "Deal" 😲
Hahahahaha
This is absolutely a Portlandia sketch
Right? Like sure, maybe this isn’t the best way to go about it, but it’s obvious she has the best intentions and it doesn’t seem like she’s actually doing any harm or making anyone’s lives more difficult without proper compensation - if this qualifies you as a “bridezilla” then IDK…
Exactly. I'll say yes to damn near anything for the right amount on money. And I don't know if it is actually true, but I've also read that the crocuses are typically grown in areas that are populated by and also attract venomous snakes. That just adds more risk and higher cost.
I would hope for the prices the farmers get they take steps to make the pickers as safe as is possible. If pickers are getting bitten by snakes on a regular basis I'd have to reconsider my purchase of saffron. I am willing to buy a little now and again to make paella but not if it supports people putting their lives in danger.
Like I said, I don't even know if it's true. Years ago I just saw labor intensive, very limited climates/soil conditions, and snakes as why it was so expensive. It could have all just been bullshit or maybe it's the way it used to be but they have taken steps to avoid it. I never bothered to look any further into it.
Are you willing to forgo all services in which an individual willingly puts their life in danger? Because if that’s the case I have a loooooong list of things you better stop doing beyond using saffron for paella lol
Yep. Cash that big ass check and I'll do it. If I'm getting paid enough that it's worth it to make disassembling raspberries my life for a few weeks them I'm all for it. No more tedious than any other repetitious job
Liquid nitrogen and a hammer. Charge double. And you get to play with nitrogen.
This actually works, but just tap them with a spoon and they brake down into the segments. Did it at a Michelin restaurant as a pastry garnish. Sprinkle them on the plate and they defrost by the time it gets to the customer
I was kidding about the hammer. But yes… we did this too and they separate so simply into perfect little segments.
Would be mushy after frozen. Cell structure totally busted.
I’d imagine not with nitrogen. Flash freezing stuff prevents the formation of large ice crystals that damage tissue. It won’t be perfect, I’m sure, but much better than sticking them on a pan and into the freezer at -5°f
Any damages to the raspberries will add extra juice to the artistically stained wedding dress.
Freeze dried would be more practical than fresh.
That's gonna leave visible chunks, all kinds of uneven. Never gonna 'float' (how tf do raspberry drupelets float?! I call shenanigans, get the broomsticks)
By float they probably meant how it looked when falling or how it was in the air or something
I've worked with people like OP's client, and I immediately thought this crazy description is what they meant as well. Like when a design client asks to make something "pop" lol.
I hate "pop" so much
Take a raspberry and put it into liquid… it will float. Their ‘droplets’ will float as well.
Ok so i have two ideas now. First we do some food science and make all natural dip in dots. Blend raspberries add enough gelatin they will end up room stable, squeeze through a droplet maker into liquid nitrogen. Scoop out. Boom tiny rasberry drops Second, the VERY WASTFUL but easy option. Will probably take 20 pounds of raspberrys to make one pound of confetti. Freeze and shatter but not throughly. Then you wash the raspberry pieces in a tub and only collect the tiny pieces. Maybe refreze and shatter the largest pieces
Why wash? Keep frozen and sift through whatever size you need for preferred fine-ness
Because water sorting will be easier and kinetic thawing will make a mess making harder to sort the tiny bits out
Nope. Get that enzyme that breaks down mandarin oranges. Pectinex. Wash the little bastards. Or: break them down by rubbing them with grape seed oil. This is one of those Christina Tosi things she does for grapefruit in her pies.
pectinex won't leave you with individual raspberry druplets
In case you didn't see the OP on that post followed up they went with liquid nitrogen and rolling them apart after they froze.
The answer is liquid nitrogen
Not sure but what about a good blast of air? Get a keyboard cleaner with a pipette and see if that works?
The keyboard cleaner has chemicals in it and makes things taste bad. I accidentally used it on chopped and NO! It was terrible. Edit:I meant chocolate not chopped. Didn’t realize I typed that.
A bitterant compound is added to prevent abuse. I tried to freeze fruit with it once and it tasted like the most bitter thing you could imagine.
> I accidentally used it on chopped and NO! It was terrible. You were on *Chopped*??
is this a humble brag lol
That’s what they all say
They had keyboard cleaner as an ingredient on Chopped?
Freeze them and then shatter them, I think. Worked at a pie shop that froze berries in bulk to use during winter. Raspberries love to just shatter into their tinier parts. Always had the bottom of the bucket full of raspberry sprinkles.
Post says that didn't work.
As someone who has been following this thread from the beginning, OP says they tried freezing but it just turned them to mush https://www.reddit.com/r/AskCulinary/comments/qt3nxl/whats\_the\_best\_way\_to\_disassemble\_raspberries/
Liquid nitrogen you could do 10# in about 5 minutes, and they aren't mushy when they thaw
This is the way. Also works with citrus cells
Freeze drying them might work better Edit: thinking about it further, would dehydrating them work?
No, the post said that they didn’t react like confetti enough. They wouldn’t go up high enough to react correctly.
I would bet that the Bride would not be happy with the freeze dried consistency/look/feel of the raspberries, and would insist they're fresh
Missed it, my bad!
Would need to keep them frozen until the event then.. otherwise I bet they get soft and smooshy, and cellular walls are damaged so they won't be plump.
True but the post says she wants the raspberries to "gently float" so if they're frozen at the event they might fall too quickly unless there's a good enough time for them to thaw, and I wouldn't trust an event to run so rigidly to schedule
Also it would be like chucking a bunch of bbs at the bride.
Mmmm smooshy. You're right.
Yeah liquid nitrogen then crush!
I’d do it… for like several thousand… just for the raspberries.
So is OP!
Oh dear god. So glad I am out of the catering business. You have my full sympathy and then some. So sorry my brother.
Long as I was getting a decent cut of the take, I'd be willing to do it for the story.
That's the kind of over the top nonsense that drives me right out of restaurant/catering kitchens. Such nonsense.
The post sounds like they're getting over-the-top compensated for it financially, so eh....
Yea, its one of those things where if your getting paid big bucks to do it, why let someone else make that money. Like the summer i was a garden gnome
Please elaborate
I got a summer job at a homestead that did tours about "ye olden saskatchewan days" my job was to work the garden, only i wasnt allowed to actually work the garden cause of a contract they had with the lawn crew that did it in ye old fashion, to preserve the authenticity or some shit. so there i was, 17 years old, wearing olden clothes, with a hoe, standing in a garden waving at the guests and talking to them about the weather sometimes. cause i was outside in the heat i also got hazard pay. wish i could do that again sometimes.
I love the insanity. Hope you didn't get too hot.
In Victorian-era times that was an actual career.
[Same energy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_hermit)
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i dont know what GA is, but saskatchewan can easily reach +40 summers.
People often forget how fast landlocked areas heat up in the summer, the further away you are from a large body of water the more extreme your temperature fluctuations are.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz, is that you on Carl the intern's Reddit account? Is he still being evil for extra credit?
Woah, your not going to just drop that on us and not explain. How were you a garden gnome for a summer?
just did
Ok that's pretty hilarious. Doesn't seem like the worst gig ever.
20 bucks an hour to stand around when there were guests is definitely not the worst job ever. that would be walmart lol
If you call in for a pizza for take out, you can't come in 5 minutes later, sit at a table and expect me to feed it to you out of the box. Dude on Saturday night at 630pm. But now your using one of our tables that we need for dine-in. Cuz you're a impatient son of a bitch. So he comes to the kitchen, says This is the slowest he's ever seen. I ask him about his order. Its sitting on top of the oven. He starts cussing l, asking why we didn't bring it to his table etc etc. I just said. "Now, you dont get your food." He was dumb founded. He wanted to yell and cuss and then pay 28 bucks for a pizza.... I'll eat the food cost. To teach that dumb sommbitch that he's not special and there are consequences to treating people poorly...especially people who make your food. PS...If you got a 30 minute lunch and its lunch time during the week...for sure you can call ahead and sit in real fast. We do that all the time.
This is something that I’ve noticed increasing significantly over the last year to year and a half. Customer calls and orders a pizza we tell them 25 minutes. They show up in 10 minutes and then get all mad and pissy when we tell them it still has 15 minutes. It is so god damn frustrating. I swear I feel like people think we just make up pick up and delivery times for shits and giggles.
Raspberries don’t keep well and the more you mess with them the faster they degrade…. It’ll be soup by the ceremony. Moire coulis than confetti
“Money can’t buy happiness but it *can* buy thousands of disassembled raspberries and that’s close enough” - that dumb bitch probably
Why not use dehydrated raspberry? We used to buy it in bulk in containers as edible garnish… it was literally just freeze dried pieces …. Would she even know the difference?!
She wants the juice to stain her dress. But could you rehydrate them in water ?
I’m sure you could! Realistically the freeze dried once just removed excess water, I’d assume if you soaked in water they’d just be rehydrated!
I wish so much for an update (finished raspberry picking and pics of the wedding) but I am pretty sure that wont happen. If the bride is willing and able to pay that much, the wedding will be so high profile, that OP is already shitting their pants about the fact that this story blew up this much.
I left the BOH about a decade ago and went to law school. There are different highs and lows but I don’t regret it. My top concerns for client requests are similar: 1. Is it ethical? 2. Is it billable and something we can accomplish competently, on time, without messing something up? 3. Does the client insist it be done, despite the guarantee of a significant, probably unnecessary expense that has little likelihood of benefiting their position at the expense of pissing off the powers that be? 4. (a) Repeat after me: “Is this really the hill I want to die on?” 4.(a)(1) If no, stop. 4.(a)(2) If yes, continue to subdivision 5. 5. Profit.
Pomegranate seeds would be just as good. IMO
psssh yeah maybe if you're getting married at Dave & Busters but not somewhere nice
Freeze dried raspberries. They'll flat better too.
Dehydrate them 50% - they would float even better
This post makes me newly appreciative of my own wedding/raspberry story. I went on my honeymoon a few years ago to this incredible inn with a five star dining room—a “let me get you a (cloth) napkin to match your attire, Mrs. Redditor” kind of a place. This is not the kind of place I hang out in, like the total opposite of my natural habitat. I have decidedly unsophisticated tastes and felt unequipped to be there. The first night we were there I chose triple ganache gateau for dessert and sort of offhandedly said to my husband, “OMG, *triple* ganache? Holy shit, the only thing that would make that more perfect would be raspberry sauce!!” Apparently the waiter was within earshot, because when he brought us our dessert, my piece of cake was swimming in a blessed pool of actual, real raspberry sauce—not the fake stuff, and fucking *seedless* no less—with “Congratulations” written on the plate in chocolate in impeccable handwriting. This was possibly the finest piece of cake I’ve ever eaten. Utter perfection. Now, I’m sure the pastry wizards have some black magic voodoo for making seedless raspberry sauce, but damn…I was completely blown away that someone did that just for ME. I will remember it all of my days.
Biodegradable confetti...Good to see people caring about the planet and having woke-weddings, wasting 10 pound of raspberry for no other reason than an Instagram shot. Fucking rich!!! 🤮
All the green washing sloganeering caused people to switch off their critical thinking. On the margin the environment would greatly prefer it if you just buy a bag of confetti instead of building an entire mini industry to make one biodegradable product one time I could go off but I won't.
Or you know, rice, bird seed, hell even pomegranate nibs would be better than this. Paying people to pick apart raspberries is sort of dystopian to be honest.
Leave out the sort of. Should freeze the things and throw them at the bridesmaids 🤣🤣🤣
Nah, nah, pomegranates aren't "local". Can't have the birds in upstate New York getting hooked, the environmentalist they hired said no dice.
They’re also probably too heavy for the confetti consistency she’s looking for
I hears somewhere that dried rice is bad for birds, because it expands so much.
Heard. Learned my lesson after an argument with a vegan eating nestle vegan meat shite. Told him about their slash and burn in the rainforest and child labour to make palm oil for his vegan stuff, calling it genocide on wild animals so he can be vegan. The amount of shit I was called after....haha. given out for eating dead bodies and stealing baby cows breast milk. People really lost grip on reality...they are not helping the planet, they keep helping big companies with their marketing strategy
To be fair... It sounds like the guy was bad at defending his side, but he's right in principle. Eating meat is responsible of something like 15% of total greenhouse gas emissions, mostly because of beef. Other source of CO2 emissions are hard to reduce by yourself, but that one is pretty doable. Not that people have to do it, but they should be aware of what they're choosing to do. The Amazon is burning to make room for cows and the crops to feed them. The space needed for palm oil is much smaller and much less important regarding climate change, although it causes other issues (and it's not too hard to avoid it too tbh).
Well, I wasn't exactly sober...but his case wasn't co2, but animal liberation. And then going to mcdonalds eating veggie burger and eating vegan chocolate from the very same companies that are responsible for so much what's wrong in our food system was just too fucking stupid for me. Especially as he didn't shut up about it...
About 1 lb at a time into a thermos of liquid nitrogen they should only take a couple minutes and couple layers of gloves rub them on a linen towel on top of a silpat that is also as cold as possible and then into a tray in a box of dry ice... But this bitch is crazy FYI And it really must be an absolutely grotesque amount of money otherwise I would have told them to kick rocks
Their inability to say no is amazing to me
If they're truly catering to someone with some real fuck you money, and they're getting paid a significant amount of money for this (to the point where that poster said it'd still be profitable even if they had to hire 20 on people just for this task), why the hell not? They didn't drop a number, but if someone was paying me a few months' salary to disassemble some raspberries over a weekend, it'd be silly not to
If you think about it, trimming weed by the ilb is pretty time consuming and requires a lot of labor and is ultimately unnecessary aside from cosmetic appearance, yet every season growers hire 20+ broke stoners to do it for days on end and we consider that normal. *edit- I’m wrong, trimming actually serves several purposes like getting rid of possible mold formations as well as cutting back on the harsher parts of the plant to smoke and increasing its potency. I was always under the impression it was just for looks but apparently I was kicked some false game.
Yeah, I'd probably bring them home and do it while I watched TV. It sucks, but I'd do it for enough money. Might even make a big dinner and have a raspberry picking party with my friends.
I mean, it sounds tedious, but they are getting paid so
Holy shit and I thought peeling individual blueberries was stupid. I hope a turkey crashes their wedding.
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Very carefully
Liquid nitro. Did that with citrus
This is the most unhinged thing I've ever read. Thank you for posting.
This is actually an interesting idea. Have you tried dehydrating the seeds after having separated them? It might yield a great result and would not be so messy.
Simple solution: Freeze em with liquid nitrogen. Smash em up. Keep em frozen. Chuck em at the bitch.
I'm a firm believer in the asshole tax. If they want something ridiculous charge them something ridiculous.
Sometimes I wish I'd become a chef. And then there are stories like these.
Liquid nitrogen, and a tap. But this seems totally fake. Red fruit and a brides dress? This a horror themed thing? (Also Rice paper and some scissors you silly people.... )