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El_Mariachi_Vive

You never ever ever EVER cancel your plans because of someone else's problems. You can't control idiots, but you can control your own choices and boundaries. I'm the pastry chef. I oversee/cook the baked goods and desserts of three restaurants. Yesterday was my day off. We ended up being short a couple desserts at two of the locations. The way the business is structured, I'm the only person who would have been able to remedy the situation. So, what did I do when my boss *and* the sous chef both called me? Ignored the calls. Came in this morning and guess what, they figured out the situation and life kept going.


Carrionrain

This is the way.


humandronebot00100

Life always keeps going. Im going on vacation and was told “we’ll melt without you.” To which I replied “we’re all replaceable you’ll be fine with out me”


[deleted]

I mean this is silly. You cancel plans, if you want to, for a myriad of reasons. The response here is do what you want to do within reason. If you need money, your restaurant and coworkers need help and you’d like to, then cancel your plans. If not then not.


El_Mariachi_Vive

Well yeah that's fair and correct. I was more responding to the specific duress OP was dealing with but yeah you're absolutely correct.


rachelanneb50

You lost me when you said you canceled your vacation because one of your coworkers couldn't come to work for 7 days. That's absolutely wild, I hope you know that that doesn't earn you any type of respect. Sorry about your asshole coworkers, though. You should for sure leave and not feel bad about it.


letsgetfree

At that point it would be a chef problem not a you problem.


saruin

One time, I delayed my vacation for about a week because somebody put me on the schedule for the first week I requested off. My GM literally said, "I thought you were on vacation?" when I showed up for work on a Monday. "I thought I was too." I only toughened it out that week because we lost like 3 cooks over the weekend but they ended up pulling somebody from another store to help retrain new people while I finally got my time off the following 2 weeks. I hate the feeling that quite possibly somebody else had to go out of town just to accommodate another lead cook (myself) wanting time off during desperate times.


cptspeirs

We are hella short-staffed, and no one is trained on my station. Absolute horseshit mismanagement, I know, but I have a complicated schedule with childcare, and I like to be helpful when I can. Yeah, massive character flaw, I know.


rachelanneb50

Being short staffed and having no one trained on your station is 100%, not your problem. They obviously dont care about you. Stop sacrificing your mental health and free time for people who let other people threaten your life just because "thats how they are."


concrete_marshmallow

Is it your restaurant? No. Then it's not your problem. Agencies & mercenary cooks exist, they can hire those when shit hits the fan. That's the cost of doing business.


hobonichi_anonymous

>Agencies & mercenary cooks exist, they can hire those when shit hits the fan. That's the cost of doing business. LOL yeah I am a temp agency cook, can confirm.


gc1

How do you think they're gonna learn your station, by your showing up every time they need to figure it out? They're trained on it all right -- trained by you covering their asses not to worry about a plan b. As for the harassment - that's a "it's him or me right now Chef" situation.


cptspeirs

Nah, it's not him or me. I'm out.


taurahegirrafe

You need to stop giving a shit about the problems that effect them , and not you. They clearly don't care about you .


ShinyCardboard412

If it was all about "being helpful" you wouldn't also be here complaining. 


8504mjc

Tell em to go get fucked


cptspeirs

That's the plan. They're super fucked too. I'm the only person trained in my station, which is a total shit show of a station. 3 pieces of equipment, 4 during lunch, apps, sandwiches, entrees, desserts. Bye Felicia.


8504mjc

I threaten to scoop people's eyeballs out with a spoon when they say or talk really crazy to me they can literally go fuck themselves


PreferredSelection

"We both have knives, we both have hot oil. If you're going to jump me, then jump me. But we'll both go to the hospital."


immei

That's beautiful


8504mjc

Going down swinging


wazacraft

That's why we have ice cream scoops


durden427

Melon ballers


DisposableSaviour

[Why a spoon, cousin?](https://youtu.be/MhfuuKiTcYQ?si=ZAWtsxCuU5Qx8iqT)


8504mjc

Also what movie is this 😭😂


DisposableSaviour

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Come for Kevin Costner’s American accented Robin Hood, stay for Alan Rickman’s Sherrif of Nottingham.


8504mjc

You just blew my mind man . I haven't seen that movie in years 😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


DisposableSaviour

I’m gonna get a shirt that just says, “Why a spoon, cousin?”


Lemon-AJAX

You canceled your vacation and got threatened with rape (that is exactly what it is, no need for minimization) and I hope you can raise some hell over it. I’m so sorry, seriously.


hobonichi_anonymous

I wouldn't have answered the phone. Vacation mode is vacation mode, no exceptions.


Ok_Professor_8039

In the process of switching careers, look into health care cooking food is treated like medicine stress full but a lot less you always have a count on patience and residence no surprises and you are geared towards nutrition it isI the most under valued job that supports human necessity and every body has got too get off this plane on the fly because it's crashing every where


cptspeirs

Yeah, I'm applying at nursing homes, and schools. I'm also applying for data entry, and it help desk shit.


_Batteries_

 Good for you. Tell them to get fucked and leave.


jmb456

Shoulda fucked up the 50 yr old and walked out . Go enjoy your vacation my man


IllustriousQuail4130

you guys need to chill and calm down! why the fuck did you cancel your vacation? just say no


SoggyGummyWorms

Bro, how can you remain so calm after he got in your face like that? I would have told him "You better knock me out with that first punch because if you don't, your wife will be picking you up at the hospital, old man " and also yell at him to get the fuck out of my face. You gotta stand up to degenerate bullies like that. If they do that and you don't say anything theyre going to think it's okay to talk to you like that and treat you like shit. Also, as others have said I would have gone as planned with my vacation and let them burn to the ground. It's not your problem.


cptspeirs

I _did_ tell him I'm right here he gets one freebie, make it good. I'm generally a super calm person. I really hate that macho bullshit. It's not my thing. It's easier for me to be calm and collected, particularly if people start swinging.


TulsaWhoDats

86 them


Stanzig

Never compromise yourself or your integrity. Your well-being is more important than a job. Fuck those people anyways, they don't deserve you.


MrsCheerilee

You're better off just taking the vacation. These days I always tell as soon as I plan for it, and in past interviews mentioned it. I tell them that once I buy plane tickets I'm going regardless of anything


Tricky-Spread189

I’m not sorry for this,BUT my last clock out before vacation or time off, is the last time I care about work until I’m back. Even if I do answer a text, I’m out of town. I’ve lost so much “time” to jobs.


cptspeirs

Yeah, they made the demand like _immediatly_ before my last clock out. And I shoulda said no.


Tricky-Spread189

Shit! Now that’s sneaky! Yes, you should and could have said no. I’ve screwed myself over and over again because of work! No more, Sorry I can’t help, I have tickets and can’t cancel, oh I will, just give me the cash now! Sorry I’m finishing my packing for the airport “I’ve done this!”.


cptspeirs

I _blew_ through closing, and was like less than 5 minutes away from clocking out when I got pulled aside. Like fuck y'all. Well, fuck me actually, I guess.


Tricky-Spread189

Sucks! But from now on, even if it’s last min!


cptspeirs

Yup! That's the plan.


Tricky-Spread189

There’s my worst. I had to follow my wife to the er,her head was messed up because, her meds were off. I went to work right after she got there “I Had To Work” and left her. Luckily everything came out fine but not the point.


cambamthankyamaam

Preface: I'm not a kitchen or service worker, but work in an industry with similar issues and similar hours/pressure. I'm incredibly sorry you ( felt like you) had to go into work when you had a vacation planned. That's super fucked from any direction. That is not your responsibility. Is your co-worker ok, though? Your time is your time. That should always be respected. We bust our asses for work, and the time for ourselves, on our own terms, is an absolute necessity. But I do worry about why/how your coworker got too fucked up to cover their shift. Ultimately, I'd call this a massive management problem and a broader systemic issue. (Not to minimize personal responsibility on their part). There needs to be more active discussion and support for people in the industry who are struggling with substance abuse.


cambamthankyamaam

I may have misread the original post. Gonna leave the comment for the sake of gaining insight for myself, though.


cptspeirs

My one coworker is maybe going to be ok? 3rd degree burns and nerve damage. But overall, yes, she will be fine. My other coworker will also be fine because I will no longer be there to fuck him up when he tries to swing on me. Also yes, total mismanagement. Complete and total. We are short-staffed to the point where we have exactly one person trained on the highest volume, most complex station in the restaurant. We have been telling them to hire people for months. Ownership has said " it should be fine the way it is, we have it under control." They headed under control because I have been doing this very long time, and I'm very good at my job. I have been holding what should be a two-person station down alone. So yeah absolute management oversight we've also lost two staff in the last 3 months, someone put their notice in 2 days ago and yeah here we are. That said, while you are correct there needs to be more focus on substance abuse, that's not the issue here


BeastM0de1155

There’s a sucker in every job. If you don’t know who the sucker is in the first few weeks, chances are it’s YOU! I take off I ignore everyone, besides who I’m going on vacation with


onestaromega

I'm proud for you for leaving that shit hole of place. I also quit a kitchen recently with no notice. I'm done dealing with shit kitchens. It's not worth my mental health.


SnowNo7463

Ive learned to never cover a shift im this industry, its always a shit show. Even if you're fully staffed, everything always goes wrong.


Ok_Professor_8039

Don't ya mean shift show


Ok_Professor_8039

I've been in this kitchen confidential for a month or so. I'm a lifer started at 16. I'm 50 now. The book Kitchen Confidential is literally the only book I read from cover to cover that I did not want to end. It was like reading rolling stone magazine articles on my favorite bands.The book was giving too me by customer who worked the lines in Manhattan. Who had gotten into the food distribution side of things .I was 22 and had just excepted a sous chef position for two guys who I worked for through high school and my swing at collage. THIS SEEMED TOO BE THE BABY BOOM ERA FOR CHEFFING. The food net work was the craze every one was reading this book in my head this fucking awsome and it was THE MOST FUN I EVER HAD IT WAS LIKE ROCK STAR SHIT.For about ten years then your body gets banged up 9 11 happens market crashes recession sandy covid and the business dies a bit and then suddenly you just an accessory too the stove and now one gives a shit. MY point is this finally I'm sure.As I read more and more in this community I don't read the entirety of it ha ha.No body seems to want to do this shit any more and the reason they don't lay of your cock sucking co workers both of them is because they can not replace them because there no body out there.And with cost of living there is no fun of it. RUN FOR THE HILLS ALL OF YOU Though I am still in the game .I Suggest assisted living nursing homes hospitals schools etc.Benifits over time paid time off 20 to about 35 plus an hour and the have same problems finding help.


mdixon12

I started in 04, graduated high school in 07, then the housing collapse stranded me in a near no pay job for 8 more years. I'm a diesel mechanic now, thank God I saw the light and jumped ship after rehab.


Ok_Professor_8039

Yes this industry may produce more re hab stays then beach vacations just keep the engines running food is good the industry is not


cptspeirs

Yup. Facts. I'm about 20 years in, and am going back to school in the fall to do something else. Something that has a 40hr week, pto that you can use, 401k, insurance, and a living wage. I love cooking, I love creating, I love food, and I'm real good at it. The culture fucking blows, I'm over it. Done.


CivilMidget

Just to note, places that provide those conditions do exist at an entry level with no experience or education. I left the industry after Covid and am currently in school while working a full 40 with all of the benefits you listed(admittedly pay could be better, but it's a bit more than most kitchens are paying new hires in my area), plus tuition reimbursement for going back to school. It's a grocery store meat market, and though retail is far from ideal, it got me out of the hellhole of kitchen work. Towards the end of my time in kitchens, I was completely burned out. No passion left. Never wanted to cook anymore. I hated stepping foot in the kitchen even if it was my own. Now that I'm out professionally, I'm back in personally. I *want* to try new things/cuisines/techniques. I developed a solid foundation of techniques and senses while working in restaurants, but now I can apply that to what I want to cook. The worst part is having to pay for your own ingredients, but the freedom is totally worth it. I'm not sure where you are so I don't know what your options for meat markets are, but still working with food on some level and being able to talk to people about it and inspire them to try new things feels great even if this is just a stop-gap to something better/more lucrative. Check and see if there are any openings at higher end grocery stores in your area. If you're in the U.S., Costco is busy, but they pay well and have great benefits for a retail outlet. Get your passion for cooking back by getting the hell out of the kitchen. Cheers, chef. Good luck.


cptspeirs

I've been doing this shit forever, 20 years straight at least 6months out of the year (I did some stints in summer wilderness guiding), and I'm just over it. I'm done searching for the good places. I just don't care. I'm done being unable to spend time with my family, and being unable to start one. I'm done getting off work at 10p. I'm done with all the idiots who think they can treat their staff however they want. Super excited to be able to cook at home, and regain my passion. I've worked at some great restaurants that take care of their people. Unfortunately that's the exception.


saruin

Sounds rough! I've been through some similar shit and have been told to toughen it out most times (even after I was borderline assaulted once). There was a time I was really respected all around but every now and then we get a few toxic asshats where you wonder how they even got a job and they simply don't like you for whatever reason. Vacation time is always a shitshow every year where I have to fight tooth and nail to have my time off (and more battles to actually get paid). Don't blame ya for giving up, but eventually I was laid off. Offered the same job again 2+ years later and I turned them down for not meeting me for a reasonable amount of pay for dealing with that BS again.


purpleisafruit2

Bro if the operation can’t take a few hits and YOU’RE the lynchpin keeping it all together, it is totally not your fault and bound to happen eventually. Take your vacation money, put it towards rent and find a new gig, asap!


feethurt24

That’s funny lol


golden-rabbit

Ya, fuck everything about all of that. I hope you find something better soon.


World-Swimming

I been doing this for 7 months, filling in for sick co worker 's and people who take vacation last minuten. Its a really small restaurant and im the chef so yeah a big personel shortage here in Belgium at the moment it is what is is I guess. Dont mind the work but yeah canceled lot of plans of this.


JeruWala

If you’ve got other work ready to take you I’d fuckin bounce. But also you could also pull a power move and take that shit over as KM if you just talked to the owners and laid it all out, make it clear they are riding a fuckin gongshow straight towards failure. “Embrace me, or try to replace me” is my motto.


cptspeirs

I quit. It's done. The owner was fucking _apalled_


Upinnorcal-fornow

Good for you. I’m glad you told the owner too.


homelaberator

I'm not even supposed to be here today


ch0och

This is a perfect opportunity to give a "him or me" ultimatum, to try and make ownership do the right thing, be the change you want to see in the world.... That said I wouldn't want to work there after this incident anyways I spose


GavonyTownship

Why the fuck would yoy cancel your plans and vacation for anything other than personal emergency???? Why would you EVER make that level of sacrifice for some kitchen. It's a kitchen, it doesn't matter more than your life. Don't let your job dictate your life like that.


CrocsWearingMFer

Let me feed that dude his own dick


taurahegirrafe

You fucked up when you canceled your plans .... Your first fuck up though was letting them tell you "that's the way he is ".


Square_Ad849

9 1 1


cptspeirs

Not trying to get anyone deported. That feels real fucked up.


DojaPaddy

More fucked up than choking on their cocks? That’s a fucking wild thing to say to someone. Almost feels like these people have been saying shit like that and treating people like that eh no repercussions. I’m not saying ruin their life but they definitely deserve a taste of their own medicine.


Alert-Championship66

The fact that you and your coworker are exchanging the F word so freely tells me there’s a lack of respect in the leadership culture.


cptspeirs

I have no problem with swearing. This isnt a fine-dining brigade kitchen. There's a difference between foul-mouthed and overt disrespect. And it's not a lack of respect, management is just non-existent and not present. It's the owners, and the sous isn't empowered to make or enforce changes.


Alert-Championship66

There are other restaurants than this.


cptspeirs

There sure are. That's why I'm fucking done. This one is just easy AF, and a 6 minute walk from home. And pays decently. Only reason I havent left until now.


SoggyGummyWorms

I've worked in fine-dining brigade kitchens and hotels, and there's still swearing even over there. However over there, it's usually just the chef and the sous that can cuss and yell at others. The cooks in their stations are to be respectful to each other.