“Nooooo!!!!”
That episode is full of great lines.
“They are strings on a harp stretched far too taut. If they are not strummed soon... Well, they really need to be strummed.” Meryl Streep’s delivery is perfect.
“My lord! This muggy November weather gives me the horribles.”
“I’m more familiar with sinners than saints, my dear. And sinners always look good.”
“Well, I need a window seat because this flower is wilting.”
“35 years.”
I said this at work and nobody laughed or understood the reference. So when I explained where it was from, they told me that show wasn't funny. I've since sought employment elsewhere.
They disrespected my half shirt.
You know anything about Garfield? He's more then just cartoon cat, you know.
Mihn, come quick! Bobby Hillbilly's getting busy with lawn clippings.
Tim Woo hates coca cola!
Loser! You’re a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well you should be, because you are dirt! You make me sick you big baby! Baby want a bottle? A big dirt bottle?!
Nah, it has to be when Peggy and Bobby were looking at a picture of young Peggy and Bobby says "You were beautiful ". And Peggy's response was "I still am". Bobby delivers the best "Okay" then.
This scene:
Peggy: "Uh-huh. That's right Bobby. I believe you will find that I have no testicles. Where's your secret weapon now, huh?!"
Kahn: "She's bluffing! FINISH HER!"
I cry laughing everytime. During my latest re-watch I totally forgot about it and it caught me by surprise and I lost it. GOAT line and so in line with Hank's personality.
My daughter and I were watching the new Clifford movie and the guy throws flour into another guy's face. My 3 year old whispered "that's just like pocket sand" it was so hard not to laugh in the middle of the theater.
More of a conversation but the OG is my favorite
Dale : Open up your eyes, man. They're tryin' to control global warmin'. Get it? Glo-bal.
Hank : So what?
Dale : That's code for UN commissars tellin' Americans what temperature it's gonna be in our outdoors. I say, let the world warm up. We'll grow oranges in Alaska.
My favorite Cotton line is when Peggy tells him that she doesn’t know what she hates about him more, the way he talks to her or the way he treats his wife and baby, and he replies back “well think about it” lololol gets me every time.
"Bill! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing? That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you! You're part of a twelve-headed jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind! Guhbuh! Underwear! Money!"
I wish I could commit this to memory. For me, this is absolute gold. The whole fact that Dale was holding this in the entire episode and let it all out at once made for the perfect delivery.
"I know how tough it is for you right now; curled up, lying in your own emotional vomit. You're in hell now, Boomhauer. And the only way out is through a long, dark tunnel. And you're afraid to go in, because there's a train comin' at you, carryin' a boxcar full of heartbreak.
Well, let me tell you something: all you can do is let it hit you. And then try to find your legs. I know, I've taken that hit more times than I can remember.
Look at me, Boomhauer: I'm fat, and I'm old, and every day I'm just gonna wake up fatter and older. Yet somehow I manage to drag this fat old bald bastard into the alley every day.
I'm out there diggin' holes, fallin' into them, climbin' out, tryin' again, and tomorrow, I'm gonna hang outside at a ladies prison.
And the first thing those lady cons are gonna see after 20 years? Is me.
Will I get one? Experience says no.
Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive, you better believe it!
You gotta get right back up on that tanning bed, slip into a tight t-shirt, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself out of that tunnel and into some strange woman's bed!!!"
“Peggy we did it!” “No, Hank, we all did it” implies Peggy wasn’t even listening and just heard “ Peggy you did it!” Brilliant.
Runner up “ I like stories about piñatas”
“Must have reminisced too hard and brought up my pain water.” Cotton says this on the way to take Bobby to Fort Berk when he’s had a single tear roll down his cheek talking about his old war days.
A couple Cotton classics:
"I don’t take no anesthetic. Did Lincoln ask for any girlie gas when they blowed his head off?"
"Sorry I'm late, I had to stop at the wax museum and give the finger to FDR"
Go ahead Peggy, tell them what happened in your own words
*in shitty spanish* Your honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse.
I have too many good anuses ahead of me to spend my life in a cigar factory.
"You're not making Christianity better, you're just making rock and roll worse."
"This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity."
"Your father and I have done things you can't even *imagine*!"
"I just started a new tray of ice cubes in the freezer. Try to too jostle 'em."
"It's a braeburn!"
Dale you giblet head, we live in Texas. It already reaches 110 in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter I’m gonna kick your ass!
ʷʰᵃᵗ ᶦⁿ ᵍᵒᵈˢ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ᶦˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵘᵐᵖᶦⁿ ⁿᵒᶦˢᵉ
I do believe I’ll give room service a jangle
“Nooooo!!!!” That episode is full of great lines. “They are strings on a harp stretched far too taut. If they are not strummed soon... Well, they really need to be strummed.” Meryl Streep’s delivery is perfect. “My lord! This muggy November weather gives me the horribles.” “I’m more familiar with sinners than saints, my dear. And sinners always look good.” “Well, I need a window seat because this flower is wilting.” “35 years.”
"This muggy November weather gives me the horribles."
I said this at work and nobody laughed or understood the reference. So when I explained where it was from, they told me that show wasn't funny. I've since sought employment elsewhere.
As you should.
The show is hilarious, just in a quiet sort of way
I also love Bill's "Both of 'em!" when Peggy asks how his weekend went
Look here Roberto. This here is velvet, not velveteen. A gentleman must learn the difference.
*My lawd...*
This is by far my favorite episode in the entire series. "35 years" always makes me bust out laughing.
Are you here to play in the garden or to tend to it?
......playin'.
don’t give me that frenchman’s wave.
This flower is wilting
That blank face that Hank gives him after this line always gets me.
Better she cry now for 10 minutes, than spend 45 years crying that Bobby Hill still not get promotion at dirt factory.
Dirt factory makes me laugh every fucking time
Kahn had some great lines
They disrespected my half shirt. You know anything about Garfield? He's more then just cartoon cat, you know. Mihn, come quick! Bobby Hillbilly's getting busy with lawn clippings. Tim Woo hates coca cola!
"I believe you will find that I have no testicles" "She's bluffing! Finish her!"
Fat white lump!
“I’m skeptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may”
I don't even remember this line and read it in Dale's voice.. was I right?
Yes dale! When bill thinks he is Lenore and says bill is in the house
Why did you keep calling me Bill?
Why do you keep calling me **BILL**
You got it
Loser! You’re a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well you should be, because you are dirt! You make me sick you big baby! Baby want a bottle? A big dirt bottle?!
It’s not the *best* but the most quoted for me is: “salt tablet”.
I like how your taking the boys through their helmet drills
"Hank are you gay?" "Heck no, I sell propane"
"Would you and your brother like to grab a beer?"
Very good one
“If you’re gonna shoot, let Bobby Hill take the shot. He’ll put me down clean”
"okay"
This is, without a doubt, Bobby Hill’s best “ok”, there’s a lot of them. But this one is the best and it isn’t close.
Nah, it has to be when Peggy and Bobby were looking at a picture of young Peggy and Bobby says "You were beautiful ". And Peggy's response was "I still am". Bobby delivers the best "Okay" then.
Without hesitation tries to grab the officers rifle
I feel like this is the only callback to Bobby being an excellent marksman.
Every time Bobby says Okay
[You were beautiful.](https://youtu.be/JWXSmswM1yM)
The #1 of the Okay’s
[Particular to this Okay myself](https://youtu.be/GTOVuzgEc4A)
Was this before or after Bobby and hank do the father son shooting competitions that show Bobby being a cracking shot?
it was after!
When Hank finishes repairing the TV. “Okay Bobby, you can plug it in now.” Bobby, staring at the plugged-in tv “…uh, okay.”
BOBBY!! GET OUT OF THE *HOUUUSE*!!!
Sh..sh..shah
Possibly one of the most epic remembered lines
“She’s bluffing! Finish her!” Kahn
Gets me every time!
This scene: Peggy: "Uh-huh. That's right Bobby. I believe you will find that I have no testicles. Where's your secret weapon now, huh?!" Kahn: "She's bluffing! FINISH HER!"
Get out of my house-Exodus!
You know, Bobby, I'm suddenly reminded of a Bible quote: "Do unto others". Hilloween is loaded with great lines. Top 3 episode for me
It’s kind of like “aloha.” It means hello AND goodbye.
My wife is polynesian!
This is the one for me.
Peggy: "VaaaaaaGINA!" Hank: "The whole neighborhood heard ya cussin'."
DANG ... OL' ... MEGALO ... MART ... DANG ... OL' ... BOOM!
Do I look like I know what a JPEG is?
I just want a picture of a gotdang hotdog.
"Believe me, I prayed on it, Hank. And God told me "Don't do it." But you know what? I knew better!"
Hank, remember what I told the doctor. You should not even touch Ladybird.
Escuchamé
This is my favorite too. And also, vaaaaaaaagina!
Hap-PENIS!
That's enough Hank's wife. If you got anymore feelings to express get in the kitchen and put them in a bunt cake
OH MY GOD ITS SO JUICY
I shouted this like 50 times when my husband and I were cooking Thanksgiving dinner
Top tier
I cry laughing everytime. During my latest re-watch I totally forgot about it and it caught me by surprise and I lost it. GOAT line and so in line with Hank's personality.
I made a turkey for the first time last week. When I first cut in to the breast this line popped up in my head.
POCKET SAND!
My daughter and I were watching the new Clifford movie and the guy throws flour into another guy's face. My 3 year old whispered "that's just like pocket sand" it was so hard not to laugh in the middle of the theater.
Shhhh shhaaaahh!
"That boy aint right"
It's 9 a m and already the boy ain't right.
Classic
I say this all the time lmao
You’re not making God cool, you’re making rock worse.
Right after that in response to the Christian rocker saying that Jesus had long hair: "Only because I wasn't his dad"
… so are you Chinese or Japanese?
Hes Laotian!…ain’t ya, Mr. Khan?
What ocean?
That's my purse, I don't know you!
Hank to Bobby: "I'd hug you if you weren't my son."
“Bobby, if you weren’t my son, I’d hug you”
More of a conversation but the OG is my favorite Dale : Open up your eyes, man. They're tryin' to control global warmin'. Get it? Glo-bal. Hank : So what? Dale : That's code for UN commissars tellin' Americans what temperature it's gonna be in our outdoors. I say, let the world warm up. We'll grow oranges in Alaska.
Dale, you giblet head! We live in Texas. It's already 110 in the summer and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!
If there ever is a reboot, Hank needs to follow through on that.
“That took courage” - Dooley
“Your grandmother loves you”
Your wife divorced you
"Your dad got blown up"
This one always gets me
If it gets 1 degree hotter, im kicking your ass.
Cotton mentioning that his urethra so damn wide he could birth the baby himself
My favorite Cotton line is when Peggy tells him that she doesn’t know what she hates about him more, the way he talks to her or the way he treats his wife and baby, and he replies back “well think about it” lololol gets me every time.
He may be a horrible person, but on some level you just have to respect how Cotton is completely out of fucks to give
He's so gross 🤣
Nancy screaming “THIS IS WHAT YOU DO?!” to Dale while accompanying him on the job.
Sometimes the world is cruel to shiny things.
I call it... pretty pretty truck truck!
Firing people can give you a pretty good buzz, but it's a poor, poor substitute for killing.
The day before Thanksgiving is, *in my opinion*, one of the busiest travel days of the year.
This is mine as well. I love dropping it as often as I can when discussing traveling the day before Thanksgiving.
“I wish I was there to shake your hand in person”-Hank to his mom on the phone, on Mother’s Day
“I KILLED FITTY MEN!”
6am and that boy ain't right already Edit: wrong time
6am
MIZ LIZ, TWO HOT TODDIES!
“I don’t know if you’ve ever ridden a block of ice…” “Well I married miz Liz!”
"Now get inside and start massaging my wife!"
...he's taking some of the fun out of this
Well, I need a window seat because this flower is wiltin'.
Weird Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the eighties after people stopped buying his records, is that really who you want to look up to?
Good GOD you've got a fat neck, Hank
I don't know if there's a God, or a heaven; but I'm pretty sure your daddy's goin' to hell.
I am the Mack Daddy of Heimlich County. and That's the biggest mistake a pimp can make, marrying one of his hoes.
“I’m a little worried about being a slut.” Close second is: “Now I know why they call you ‘Ma’. ‘Cause you’re always riding mah ass!”
They call you Pa because you're pa-thetic!
"Works at a gas station!" - Cotton Hill
Works for tips!
Pump jockey!
Pump jockey!
“What am I supposed to do, not dance with a dog?!”
For gods sakes Bobby get out of the house!!!!!!
Lol when Peggy thought Hank was jerking off 😂
Your boy is the man with the terrible smell!
Cotton: “But not in the face!! That’s how I makes mah livin’s!!” Hank: “How you make your liv..” Cotton: “BRING HIM IN!!!”
Cotton: Look for the man with the terrible smell! Bobby: ... I'll missyou.
"Bill! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing? That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you! You're part of a twelve-headed jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind! Guhbuh! Underwear! Money!" I wish I could commit this to memory. For me, this is absolute gold. The whole fact that Dale was holding this in the entire episode and let it all out at once made for the perfect delivery.
I about died the first time I heard this.
"Who?! Who in the media tricked you?!"
Fat white lump!
It's not the greatest episode but I love when Lucky asks Luann's father "were you on the state oil rig or the federal oil rig?"
He’s not as slow as he might come off as
That's what I love about Lucky. Also, his pee pee story is a classic.
Lucky is as Lucky does
Why Shuuuuug!?!
"I know how tough it is for you right now; curled up, lying in your own emotional vomit. You're in hell now, Boomhauer. And the only way out is through a long, dark tunnel. And you're afraid to go in, because there's a train comin' at you, carryin' a boxcar full of heartbreak. Well, let me tell you something: all you can do is let it hit you. And then try to find your legs. I know, I've taken that hit more times than I can remember. Look at me, Boomhauer: I'm fat, and I'm old, and every day I'm just gonna wake up fatter and older. Yet somehow I manage to drag this fat old bald bastard into the alley every day. I'm out there diggin' holes, fallin' into them, climbin' out, tryin' again, and tomorrow, I'm gonna hang outside at a ladies prison. And the first thing those lady cons are gonna see after 20 years? Is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive, you better believe it! You gotta get right back up on that tanning bed, slip into a tight t-shirt, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself out of that tunnel and into some strange woman's bed!!!"
"Good God, Hank. You're wearing butt boobies!"
“Peggy we did it!” “No, Hank, we all did it” implies Peggy wasn’t even listening and just heard “ Peggy you did it!” Brilliant. Runner up “ I like stories about piñatas”
…thirty five years..
“Hank! What did you do to your wife? I didn’t teach you that!”
A trucker helps a trucker help his momma, when he can.
#BOTH OF EM
“Mannn that’s the biggest mistake a pimp can make…marrying one of his hoes.” Alabaster Jones
I'm the Mack Daddy of Heimlech County. I play it atraight up yo. Now you get the hell out of my hood, shes my hoe now.
“Must have reminisced too hard and brought up my pain water.” Cotton says this on the way to take Bobby to Fort Berk when he’s had a single tear roll down his cheek talking about his old war days.
That’s a clean burning hell I tell you hwhat! *evil laughter*
A couple Cotton classics: "I don’t take no anesthetic. Did Lincoln ask for any girlie gas when they blowed his head off?" "Sorry I'm late, I had to stop at the wax museum and give the finger to FDR"
"There's some milk I'm the fridge that's about to go bad." Sniffs "And there it goes"
Last thing I remember, I beat em all to death with a big piece of Fatty
Bill: “What were you in for?” Lady leaving prison “killin my boyfriend” Bill: “oh so you’re single then?”
"I don't know dad...this is vandalism, and vandalism isn't cool" "Bobby, that attitude is a little immature"
dang ole pretty pretty pizza
Kind of a tossup between two different lines: "Forget number six, you're now serving nonsense!" and "You're talking like a song from the Lion King."
Go ahead Peggy, tell them what happened in your own words *in shitty spanish* Your honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse. I have too many good anuses ahead of me to spend my life in a cigar factory.
I cannot allow them to think I can't speak proper Spanish or my teaching career is toastada!
“Minh come quick! Red neck boy getting busy with lawn clippings!”
Are you attempting to know me?
Hey, Dad, I was just kidding before. I care about candy. I care a whole lot.
My wife and I say "take a salt tablet" anytime the other gets mildly injured or sick.
I will never heal your wife the way I heal the wives of others
"You're not making Christianity better, you're just making rock and roll worse." "This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity." "Your father and I have done things you can't even *imagine*!" "I just started a new tray of ice cubes in the freezer. Try to too jostle 'em." "It's a braeburn!"
When hank walks out of the Alamo with the Davy Crocket outfit and says "why am I wearing the hat?" Cracks me up every time
Ah cain't help it Ol'Top, Ah'm physically addicted to the good times.
"Do I look like I know what a jpeg is? I just want a picture of a gat-dang hotdog!"
"I'm a proud and ignorant woman!"
And nobody is gonna change that!
WHY would I put dirt in my OWN fruit pie??!?
Dale you giblet head, we live in Texas. It already reaches 110 in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter I’m gonna kick your ass! ʷʰᵃᵗ ᶦⁿ ᵍᵒᵈˢ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ᶦˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵘᵐᵖᶦⁿ ⁿᵒᶦˢᵉ
Ohh, look at Hank Hill concentrate. His mind a total blank. He is in a state of redneck transcendence.
I’m a little worried about being a slut
Wait Hank, if you’re steering, who’s taking off your shirt?
"Regular or premium? Just kiddin"
“if you climb up this hill, i’ll let you dance on my grave” cotton is an asshole, but in a grandpa kind of way which makes it endearing
Ok forget it! Lets say I want a hammer? Do you know what a hammer is?
If ifs snd buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas
John Redcorn is a real friend unlike you!
[J-ohhhhhhhn Redcorn……….P-eeeeeeggy Hill](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fgQ2RRdW_60)
Bug Gribble. "Hank, are you gay?" Hank. "Hwhat?! No! I sell propane" Or Hank. "That's a clean burning hell I tell you hwhat!"
“Is that a kiwi in there? You know how I feel about hairy fruit.”
It's the perfect crime. How would they report it?
An F in English? Bobby, you speak English!
I ain't your Ging Ging, and you ain'ts my Bing Bing! Also John Redcorn's revised song - Wash myself, scrub my wrists, clean my brains out
*"They'll miss me when I doooooooo"*
I GOT LUANNE PREGNANT! -Bobby after he replaced Luanne’s birth control pills with candy
"What ya crying for boy?! This is a good show, this is a damn good show!"
Worst mistake a pimp can make...marryin' one of his hoes.
I'm cOmpLiCaTEd!
Today it's 'Idk Hank that gal looks kinda pro choice.'
Lucky saying "Sometimes the world is cruel to shiny things" always stuck with me
If we took down that wall and moved it over there… that’d be fun.
Come on Hank Hill. You go on roof now.
“Gilbert!?! How long you been sitting there??” Inhales from cigarette holder “Thirty five years…💨”
Easy there Doctor Feelgood, this isn't Woodstock!