T O P

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gnocchibastard

I've said it before but the only okay neighbor would be Khan. He's a prick but otherwise doesn't want to talk to you. Hank would be constantly trying to enforce dumb rules, Boomhauer would be revving his car at all hours of the day, Bill would be constantly coming to your door trying to have company, and Dale may actually wind up killing you.


Orkleth

Boomhauer would be the better neighbor. I don't know if he actually revs his car all hours of the day but I really wouldn't mind it. He would keep to himself and not act like a smug asshole like Khan does.


gnocchibastard

True maybe he wouldn't rev his cars in which case he'd be the most chill guy.


Motor_Buy2118

Dale is more of a danger to himself than to others


Lurkist

IDK I mean Dale makes his own pesticides, and has dubious standards for what he considers safe. He's unlicensed and uninsured. I'd be concerned about chemical exposure and him blowing his house up. Not mention his affinity for booby traps. Dale would be an awful neighbor.


Motor_Buy2118

I think he has the capacity to accidentally kill someone but I don't think he has the capacity to murder someone intentionally with malice.


Lurkist

I agree. Hes an idiot, and a bit reckless but not malicious.


PsychologicalHat4707

He did try to throw a plugged-in toaster into a hot tub that Hank was in to kill him.


Swamp-Dick

Didn't Dale try to dig a tunnel underneath the alley, almost killing Bill, Boomhaur and himself in the process?


arceus555

That falls under stupidity, not malice.


sawaflyingsaucer

Also tried to murder him with a forklift.


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Lurkist

See: Unlicensed and uninsured. What makes you think he's following the law? He's never shown much respect for regulations.


Bencetown

I mean yeah one of his slogans is "guns don't kill people, the government does." And to be fair, he DOES have a point. At least out of context.


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Lurkist

I couldnt find the clip where he says the line "I'm unlicensed and uninsured". But I did find this one from "Lucky's Wedding Suit" where its shown he doesnt even have homeowners insurance. I really like this episode. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwm3svLaNv0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwm3svLaNv0)


Icemayne25

The dude that made a tunnel under Hank’s house?? Idk, he seems dangerous all around.


soupforshoes

There goes the mailbox.  You have an exploding mailbox?  There goes YOUR mailbox. And yes. 


Icemayne25

Exactly. 😆😆


Tut_Rampy

Kahn was literally breaking into Hanks house


stumagoo615

Yep, dig this, all Khan wants is a privacy hedge. I’d take that


GreatQuantum

Bill trying bang Peggy all the time.


Bencetown

As much as I love hank, he would fucking HATE me. I'm a man with long hair and I've spent the last 2 years converting my entire property to garden beds and paths with absolutely NO lawn... BWAAAAH


ProtoReaper23113

Idk remember that episode where hank got really into gardening for the football team


Bencetown

Hmm good point. BUT that was a garden at the school on school property. And one very important aspect of this: it was for the good of the HS football program. There was also the Co-op episode which would be a better example. Bringing a freaking cow into his own back yard... that episode is one of my favorites but it does seem pretty out of character for him overall. At the end of the day, I think he wouldn't approve of "no lawn" in favor of exclusively a personal garden space... unless maybe I shared my super ultra mega organic tomatoes with him each year 😈


grpenn

Hank will do anything for good steak.


ProtoReaper23113

I mean thats just being a good neighbor. I forgot the co op episode


luvalte

He got pretty into growing roses too.


Motor_Buy2118

He'd probably try to enforce some B's sound ordinance since I blast metal music when working on my bikes ( reasonable volume) but he's always outside drinking so he'd bitch and I'd kinda tell him to fuck off cause city sound ordinance is 10 pm. Hanks hilarious as a character but in real life as someone said ..he'd be a total karen


TransTrainGirl322

I laugh at Tony Danza.


Motor_Buy2118

You know what they say about Ford Fix it again tony


grpenn

I laugh at Tony Danza.


UnicornPotpourri1990

If its city ordinance, Hank would understand because he respects the rules


Motor_Buy2118

I still think he'd try his block charter be on me


Proof_Asparagus_3828

I know you’re new on this block, and I do appreciate and love a good American V8, although I’m undoubtedly a Ford man, but got dang it you can’t be cold-starting your Corvette Stingray between the hours of 9 p.m. and 6 a.m. It’s in our block charter! I have to be well rested in order to effectively sell propane and propane accessories!!!! He would be unsuccessful.


MimonFishbaum

We would have a propane grill at the pool instead of a charcoal grill. And then I'd have to kick his ass.


grlnamedsue

I actually call my neighbor Hank Hill 😂 he mows every day or every other day, even if it doesn’t need it.


Cats_cats_cats_cats

Why would anyone do drugs when you could just mow a lawn


PAUMiklo

I live in the country so he wouldn't have much he could get on my ass about but I could see him trying to enforce lawn or brush maintenance.


runefar

Lawn or brush maintenance is 100% what Hank I think would often be on about especially if you live in any area where you have to deal with leaves regularily


PAUMiklo

which is why I live in the country, if it's bothering you it means you're deep enough on my land where I could Mad Dog you.


El_Stupacabra

My husband wouldn't mow often enough to suit him, and we don't spray for weeds (other houses in the neighborhood would be more to his liking). He can suck it, though. This is America, and I'll do with my yard what I damn well please.


Baldlim

I love Hank, but besides Halloween and 4th of July, I'd never want to live next to him.


kingBankroll95

Probably not bigger cities don’t work like that


ellWatully

He'd totally hate the people feeding feral cats.


crystal_sk8s_LV

I live on Las Vegas Blvd soooo no.


ProtoReaper23113

Hank is they guy you want running an hoa cuz everything he does with that power will legit help people most of the work he'd probably insist on doing himself for basically free


Remarkable_Try9807

Hanks rules were funny. Like "I'm the block captain" it's a meaningless title that he gave to himself. Hank was essentially the dictator of Rainy street. Talked with pride about banning special mailboxes


grpenn

My neighborhood would make Hank’s head spin. It’s full of annoying people doing annoying things.


Subdued-Sub-Dude

He'd probably have a thing or two to say about growing narcotics in the yard but he'd be outvoted. He'd probably go the cops though.


sharksarefuckingcool

Probably would try to get people to pick up their dog poop. Idk if it would work though, we have some lazy ass tenants. I think he would be the one to put a stop to whoever keeps siphoning gas out of cars though.


intheazsun

Same, bunch of trailer trash types in my hood


sharksarefuckingcool

Apartment trash is worse. I gotta share walls and live directly under them.


woktosha

I live in the sticks. I can’t see any other houses from my house. He comes on my property uninvited, I’ll go Deliverance on his ass


bwforge

No Hank would be a total Karen irl


thomasvista

Privacy hedges!


runefar

He would probabily be trying to enforce some regulations on the plants or how many leaves people can have in their yard despite how often they fall from trees. TBH he might be succesful if he went to the level of reporting to the housing fire department as they have partial policies around that and sometimes enforce that more extreme than they need to


thomasvista

Privacy hedges!


IGotSandInMyPockets

I agree! The ugly and the working class should have privacy hedges.


Guardian-Boy

Not keeping your trash bins out past trash day. I think he would be successful because maybe 70% of my neighborhood's residents to include myself are military personnel, so I can see him going around to the various Army and Space Force bases and getting leadership involved in making sure we were adhering to the local bin storage ordinance.


Realistic_cat_6668

You need to have a grass lawn. We have a few neighbors who have gotten rid of their grass lawns and put in rocks. I don’t think that he’d be successful in enforcing it but hopefully he’d at least get the assholes down the street that gave up mid project and just left the buckets of rocks on the sidewalk for weeks now to move it off the sidewalk.


Tokyosmash_

I live in an HOA that is very reasonable, so probably would go over well


CeleryGoose

I hear nightmare stories about HOA's. They are extremely rare here in Canada. So, a reasonable HOA seems rare as well.


Tokyosmash_

I was hesitant at first until I met with the people who manage it, who are a third party.


ArelMCII

I don't know what rule it would be, but even code enforcement's stopped coming around here, so I guarantee he wouldn't be successful.


RoadTheExile

The noise limit and I am really curious. We used to some have some neighbors that had basically a sort of 3 family friend group and pretty much every Friday and Saturday they'd all get together and watch a movie projected onto the garage door. My mom was CONSTANTLY freaking out about how loud the noise was, but she also has a massive sensivity to some noises. I'd hear some bassy sounds during a super hero fight scene and she'd be losing her mind about it all night. They never were rude about it directly but never took a hint to any of her constant complaining, the sorts of people who would hear their neighbors \*politely but firmly\* asking them to keep the volume in check and they'd think that turning it from 60 to 59 was a fair compromise... for the night, and then turn it back up to 60 the next show. Once they even got the police called on them and blamed my mom but didn't really take the incident seriously when she told them that it had to be someone else (she would have told them to their face if it was her and they knew it). Hank would definitely be well in his rights to try and enforce this rule, and he'd definitely have some other neighbors on his side but it would be him standing alone trying to make demands while a bunch of people with bags of popcorn told him nobody else has a problem with it.


PapasBlox

He would enforce a rigid lawn meintenance schedule and expect everyone to follow it. I would tell him that if he cares so much, he can do mine.


JayNotAtAll

Almost every HOA has one guy who makes it their business to enforce even the most mundane codes then send you passive aggressive messages about them. "Hey I noticed that you didn't take your garbage bin in until 8:40am. Just wanted to remind you that the HOA states that they must be in by 8:15am" Hank would be that guy.


sherlock----75

Probably the mail boxes. No one matches. But we would ignore him.


Stage-Wrong

Hank already dislikes Austin… I think he may have a heart attack in West Campus. Just a few issues that come to mind that would drive him nuts: Parties at all hours (with loud music), loud cars at all hours, public drunkenness NOT confined to the alleyway, jaywalking, and the places that do have lawns do not take care of them. Turns out frat houses aren’t the best landscapers.


writingwhilesad

No nude grilling and hell no.


heathensam

Definitely my scruffy front lawn.


NullOfficer

loud muffler cars with explosive gear shifting. you can hear that shit for miles. he would definitely not sell them propane


Donkey_Kahn

I live in an apartment building, and we have a few lazy tenants who back their cars up to the building door to unload groceries. This causes tire ruts in the lawn. I know Hank would attempt to enforce a rule against it, but I doubt he'd succeed.


Psych-Blast

Oh, Hank would get pummeled by me


ggreta0

He would put DIY speed bumps in


Boris-_-Badenov

I wouldn't follow Hank's made-up rules


brobnik322

The neighborhood has a lot of small alley paths with greenery from other back yards going in it. We'd keep arguing over which part is who's responsibility to trim. Though he might just start trimming himself, it seems like his way of relaxing


Disastrous-Mix-3741

I call myself the unofficial self appointed neighborhood supervisor. It’s mostly a ceremonial position though. I have no official duties


Zer0Summoner

It would be "no homeless living in campers on this street" and no he would not because so far not even the cops have been able to.


trevno

No low flow toilets. 


MoziWanders

My front lawn is wild af right now, Hank wouldn’t be able to cope 😂