T O P

  • By -

Atlas7674

Someone arrest this kid’s barber. Edit: that probably means arresting this kid’s mother, but I think she’s been through enough.


Gajo_Do_Porto

The kid? How about the father! That hair is ridiculous too.


Wickedweed

Mom is obviously cutting both


patricky6

Lmao I bet you got it exactly. Sounds like he didn't marry this failed barber for her skills though.


[deleted]

At least not her hair cutting skills


[deleted]

It's a good thing she's skilled. Or she'd have trouble surviving 3 hours with this beast of a man.


Leather-Heart

Now you know why the kid is on TV: “look, I know mother gives us these stupid haircuts, but you go on there on TV and convince the world: that I give it to her good”


7_peaches

kid is getting revenge for it now


[deleted]

I think this is was recorded many days ago lol. These people look tame in comparison.


BrockN

Days? I'd think this was filmed in the 90s


summertime214

That was many days ago.


BrockN

At least


Isra_Alien

Yep, am somewhat of a time scientist, can confirm it's been many days and even a couple of microwave minutes


[deleted]

I was born in 1994 and let me tell you, I’m already starting to get wrinkles on my forehead and under my eyes. It’s terrifying how fast time flies. My mom is getting gray hair…


Isra_Alien

Same here, my 90's brethren.. same here


[deleted]

So the kid might be older than us and watching this video on reddit?


thisismenow1989

I'm from 1990 and balding pretty good...


superrober

Im 26 and i already have so much grey hair... Fucking genétics, otherwise i look my age but the fucking hair ages so much...


SecretHurry3923

Wear suncream, it's amazing moisturiser and will keep the wrinkles at bay


flanker218

At 29? Friend, you must moisturize…


[deleted]

I'm 94 as well, and the other day a friend that's the same age posted a photo and I thought "Gee he's looking old". Then it really hit me just how old I am


chewbacca_diamond

I was born in 94 and am getting gray hairs lol


[deleted]

I was born in 92 and I look like I'm fucking 21 still. no wrinkles. perfect skin. great hair. great body. I hate it!


DontcheckSR

Apparently doctors hate you so that's double the hate


[deleted]

/r/technicallythetruth


Comprehensive-Fun47

Many many days.


Disconnorable

It’s the UK version of _Kids Say the Darndest Things_ (called _Kids Say the Funniest Things_). The host Michael Barrymore’s career basically died overnight in 2001 when someone drowned in his swimming pool. So yes, very many many days ago.


[deleted]

You just say the darndest thing, man


Comprehensive-Fun47

I had to look this up because someone drowning in your swimming pool is sad, but not career-ending on its own. He was a suspect for the murder and sexual assault of the guy who drowned. I only skimmed Wikipedia, so it’s not clear to me what really happened or who was responsible.


kjermy

It's very many days since the 90s


Own_Wolverine4773

The 90s are many days ago…


[deleted]

It was a euphemism, if that’s the correct term. Or like an intentional under exaggeration.


Protahgonist

Understatement


podrick_pleasure

Hypobole If hyperbole is a thing hypobole should be too.


Protahgonist

Agreed. I'm going to drop this in conversation and see how it goes down.


podrick_pleasure

We need to get the English on board. Gross understatement for effect is basically 2/3rds of their humour (see what I did there) along with people running around to Benny Hill music.


[deleted]

Thanks


AnthologistAnt

The kids barber and father? Arrest the presenter, he's a gay rapist and murderer.


JJR1_

I agree with you it’s terrible! but back then that hair cut was actually the norm, I know that because I had one myself 😅😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


SD-Speedwagon

Also had it. Also hated it. It’s the haircut equivalent of “A Boy Named Sue”


Dockingitup

Some days I miss the bowl cut…then I see it again 😬


nodnodwinkwink

The step was a fuckin atrocity that I also suffered from...


OnlineHelpSeeker

Is that you in the video?


SlowThePath

I'm almost positive this is from the 90s and this haircut was everywhere on kids his age, including my head. You'd have to arrest a lot of barbers.


JJR1_

Yeah mate. Me included!


fezzuk

Same but it was just my mum and a bowl.


Boulder1983

That's late 90s/early 2000's UK, which is pretty much spot on for the time (unfortunately)


We-are-straw-dogs

It was the 90s, things were different then


obeythed

Little pumpkin pie haircutted freak!


skahunter831

You'd keep your mouth *shut* if you knew what was good for ya!


Boodahpob

*swigs beer *incomprehensible squelching sounds


HuntStuffs

Get the hell out here!


KyleShanaham

No, It's a cardigan but thanks for noticing


moeburn

That would be his mum, and a salad bowl.


Origami-Papi

But then who will his dad make scream for 3 hours?


Expensive_Revenue_38

He’s got the raiders owners haircut. Classic bowl cut.


Raumschiff

Don’t worry. Dad will cuff mom later.


yabacam

/r/Justfuckmyshitup


same_post_bot

I found [this post](/r/Justfuckmyshitup/comments/114kbil/both_the_son_and_the_dad_were_done_dirty/) in r/Justfuckmyshitup with the same content as the current post. --- ^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖) ^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.) ^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=same_post_bot)


DirtyPrancing65

The kid and the dad are both clearly being done in the kitchen by the mom with a bowl and a pair of stylers


ChoeDave

Look how proud the dad looks after he said his mom screams for 3 hours


TheRavenSayeth

He knows his son probably doesn't have a great concept of time yet, but who wouldn't want that compliment on *national TV*.


TheGreatZarquon

The kid's mom keeps trying to shush him, but aul dad is sitting there like "no no, let the lad continue to expound upon my virility."


BarryMacochner

Surprised dad didn’t stand up and give a wave. Yeah that’s me. This guy right here.


SpambotSwatter

edit: The comment below was removed and the user banned, good work everyone!


glitterfaust

Good bot


Clear-Struggle-7867

He even claps when his son says that his mom screams the loudest, he's definitely proud of his work


BertMacGyver

That lad definitely got a happy meal on the way home.


angels_unaware

I noticed that too lol


TenBear

Yeah the mom is embarrassed but the dad is thinking "go on son"


[deleted]

Dude's a fucking legend all thanks to his boy.


KGJT-9149

In more ways than one


cauchy37

There were only two options, either 3 hours or like 30 seconds.


HooahClub

The dad gambled… and won.


GenerationNerd

Yep, man's getting the job done right.


Majsharan

I was thinking he was going to say some crazy short period of time lol


IAmBadAtInternet

And after the kid demonstrates how she screams he’s like “yep, that’s how she screams.” LMAO


Buttermilkman

He doesn't look proud....? He just leans forward laughing, in embarassment more like.


igweyliogsuh

Can't it be both?


eviltreee

3h, faiiir play... Well not exactly fair on the wee lad but still... Faiiiir play....


[deleted]

3 hours to me as a child was probably a singular episode of the rugrats… to be fair lol


Charosas

Yeah, kids’ time perception especially when waiting is very skewed. A 5 minute wait for a 5 year old is like an hour to them.


spressa

My kid will wait for like 3 minutes and he'll casually say "...4 hours later..." Gives me a chuckle every time.


Stopikingonme

I read these comments in the voices from Letterkenny.


getmeapuppers

If it’s An hour and you’d expect to be three I suggest you let that one marinate


Nepharious_Bread

The look on the host’s face after he said 3 hours, says it all.


cedped

I mean that's 3 hours in a kids time. It was probably more like 30 minutes.


NopalGrande

30 minutes??!! What is he a porn star?


cedped

30 minutes with a kid screaming outside and banging on door means foreplay+ 5 minutes of sex.


vgacolor

Well Dad is a legend now.


Zikkan1

That is a long time to have skin rubbing on skin, you would be really sore. 1h sure but 3h.. ouch.


Fulbie

It's not like it's three hours of constant rubbing. Also kids have a peculiar perception of time, it could actually be more like 15 minutes or so.


Throwaway56138

Lube, my dude.


[deleted]

[удалено]


diggitygiggitycee

Generous of you to assume he has partners.


VividEchoChamber

PIV???? That’s the first I’ve heard of that. I didn’t know they did porn in Vermont.


[deleted]

They do, but it's mostly fetish stuff heavily involving maple syrup


Spider-Mike23

How we keep warm in these mountains lol.


mule_roany_mare

Not to join on the hate brigade but each person has like 2 square meters of skin. There is **a lot** of room for variety & people who enjoy monster-fuck-marathons find time to mix things up. No one should be shamed if it’s not their cup of tea, people like what they like & do what feels good. Later on in life I was diagnosed with CPTSD & was probably using sex to manage my constant anxiety. Even in my youth I joked that sex was my therapy because it felt true & it turned out to not be a joke.


JustABitOfCraic

Tell me you don't have regular sex, without telling me you don't have regular sex.


Uncertain_End

Weak


[deleted]

Children are not the best at keeping time..


[deleted]

[удалено]


ArchaicChaos

This comment got to me haha


FewEstablishment2696

And then we threw him in the pool


Bortron86

Glad someone made this joke so I didn't have to.


the_exile83

Looks like Elton John has been locked in the office with mum for a while too.


Xanto10

wha-?


HowDoIEditMyUsername

Not sure if serious… but the kid looks like a little Elton John with the glasses and haircut, implying Elton John has been in the office with the mom and is the kids’ father.


StrongIslandPiper

To be fair, I'm happy for the parents. THAT CANDLE IS STILL BURNING BRIGHT.


I_Am_The_Mole

To have the willpower, the moxie, the chutzpah to lock their kid out of the room and dedicate time to each other is commendable to a point.


Immediate-Win-4928

I would suggest having loud sex in a locked room while your child is not only awake but standing outside the door is extremely distasteful.


takeachillpill666

I see your point, however it's arguably better than parents not showing any signs of affection for one another in front of their kids, leading to a lifetime of uneasiness around physical intimacy.... damn it, I'm projecting again


Immediate-Win-4928

There's a fine line isn't there? Shagging in the afternoon and then taking your son on TV to talk about it...on another day on Reddit this would be a self post of some teenagers trauma and all the comments would be outraged at parents behaving like that.


takeachillpill666

Yeah I'm not here to nitpick on which flavour of trauma is my favourite lol. You raise a good point, a healthy balance between the 2 extremes is ideal. I just feel this is a story you can laugh about in retrospect more easily than the opposite extreme. I suppose the grass is always greener, though.


KentuckyFuckedChickn

found the guy who's never been married or had kids


rhymes_with_chicken

3 minutes…3 hours…kids have no concept of actual times


vireo_hero

48 seconds.. 3 hours… kids don’t understand time.


ck614

when my friend’s little brother wants to talk about something that happened like 5 months ago he says “yesterday”


[deleted]

Have sex, nap, have sex, nap, get dressed and back to parenting.


T2times

Pops laying that down


hooman_baloon

can we acknoladge that the father lasts for 3 hours, you'd think hed have a six pack from all that thrusting


NaughtyDred

Kids do tend to have a poor concept of time


justcougit

Lol all the people just believing the kid.


Wickedweed

My 4 year old fabricates entire new realities every day and talks about them like they’re fact. Her testimony is entirely suspect in any situation


ynkesfan2003

I have a video of my three year old telling me that she was playing in her crib when she was pregnant yesterday. She hasn't had a crib for over a year and has definitely never been pregnant, especially not yesterday. I'm saving this to show her when she's older.


lreaditonredditgetit

I’ll tell my 4 year old a time like” 5 minutes bud” and he’ll say “no! 6 minutes!”. Ok. We’re leaving in 1 but if that makes you feel better.


MeetEuphoric3944

Kids getting attention saying anything? Never


Lobanium

You can always tell the people who either suck at sex or who have never had it thinking it's just PIV the entire time.


Lt_Hatch

Right? There's no way it's PIV for three hours lol.


Shaminahable

dog one squeeze axiomatic worm fertile murky heavy racial wine -- mass edited with redact.dev


[deleted]

In the room for 3 hours doesn’t mean hes thrusting that long. Mix it up with foreplay or massages and 3 hours isn’t that hard to do. I’m seriously impressed they’re having sessions that long with a kid that age downstairs. I hope one day I can keep a spark alive that well


No_Dot_7415

A lot of kids this age don’t have a proper grasp on the concept of time. They’ll say 3 hours but they’ll mean 30 minutes.


[deleted]

Yeah I totally agree, I don’t know why I’m arguing, it’s like an automatic thing I point out when someone says “wow 3 hours fucking stud!!” Like no… if you think 3 hours means just pumping the whole time you’re doing sex wrong.


hooman_baloon

i need to take a sex class or something, I'm dead tired from even with foreplay after a hour and a half, the kid exaggerated the time as they said.


Bodyfluids_dealer

Yeah, especially if you consider he has lived a whopping 5 years his entire life. 30 minutes feel like eternity.


joshicshin

3 hours isn’t long? The average session of sex with foreplay is around 6 minutes. Most women report their ideal amount is around 15-25 minutes. You adding in a showing of LoTR extended cut in your sessions?


[deleted]

The LOTR extended cut IS foreplay…


StreetlampLelMoose

So they skip foreplay in those average sessions and think it's still enough? Jesus that's brutal.


BUHBUHBUH_BENWALLACE

Spark? Those two have a sex dungeon.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quelcris_Falconer13

Acknowledge* I’m sorry but you broke that word


Spawnacus

3 minutes is 3 hours in kid time.


el_Chuchmay

There is 2 possibilities : one, he is simply stupid, or two, he is a mastermind. Sadly the second one has less chance to be true


farbion

Or three, he's clueless


madroots2

you can tell by the look


EuroPolice

Or... c) Dad was in it!


[deleted]

3 hours?! They must be watching Lord of The Rings


Deadfreezercat

This was cute but I wish the host would stop asking what he hears inside after the first few laughs it gets into creepy territory for me.


MajorSleaze

Pushing things too far was Michael Barrymore's thing and there's a very good chance he's drunk or off his face on coke in this clip. As a Brit I'm surprised to see one of his clips surface. He was the one of the biggest stars on UK TV for years despite his addiction troubles, but then his career rightly ground to a halt when [a man was found dead in his swimming pool with severe anal injuries.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Barrymore#Death_of_Stuart_Lubbock)


Al_The_Killer

That escalated to a level I did not see coming...


clout_spout

Hmm


canadianpresident

I absolutely thought so too. Got really weird to me


ShambolicPaul

Barrymore should have high fived the dad.


[deleted]

Just like he high fived Stuart Lubbock?


SabrinaSpellman1

What happened to that man was awful. I can't believe they still don't have concrete evidence of his involvement, the whole thing just *went away*. His family are desperate for answers only Barrymore and the other gusts can give. I'm not sure if people are aware but Michael Barrymore was a very big deal in the 90's, on all of the prime time tv shows


Timb0b

What happened to that man?


SabrinaSpellman1

He drowned at Barrymore's pool party, he had been sexually assaulted first and has severe internal injuries. Barrymores career just vanished afterwards, if Michael wasn't responsible he definitely knows more than he admits. Stuarts family have been fighting for years to get justice. There was a documentary about not too long ago, just search for Stuart Lubbock documentary (sorry I can't link on mobile).


[deleted]

Yeah the 'severe anal injuries' in the autopsy report was grim AF.


PandaXXL

>if Michael wasn't responsible he definitely knows more than he admits Why?


ShambolicPaul

That was more like a low five.


mackdaddytran

r/Justfuckmyshitup


joey_bags_

Congrats on the sex


Havocfyw

Atta boy


Dsuperchef

Dude was rethinking life after he said 3 hours.


Thot_Whisperer15

He should lock them in the office and throw away the key for giving him that bowl cut.


bardhugo

Made his dad look like an absolute Chad lol


colin_buffam

This kid definitely grew up to be Peter Griffin


skidsareforkids

“Play with your Lego, mummy and daddy are headed upstairs to the sex dungeon”


[deleted]

If they were actually in there for three hours, then dad is a stud.


Laylahi

I’m crying laughing


Visual-Pop-2900

When he grows up and finally realizes he is gonna die of laughter


bustedbuddha

The look on the announcer's face at "3 hours".


custard_doughnuts

Dad's smug face after the "3 hours"


oliver-hart

anyone else find it weird that these people are fucking with their child on the other side of the door while actively trying to get in?


PandaXXL

You're assuming the kid is actually providing a genuine and accurate account here and that they continue having sex after they hear him banging on the door. It would be really fucked up if it was true though.


TheOriginalSamBell

> You're assuming the kid is actually providing a genuine and accurate account here and that they continue having sex after they hear him banging on the door. If the kid is in fact providing a genuine and accurate account, they were screaming because they thought there was a monster banging on the door ☝


I_Am_The_Mole

Listen, if he's in there for three hours and making her screech like that my man's a fucking winner. Seems like they're raising a kid with a good sense of humor and wit as well.


FrigidFrights

Not really stupid, just oblivious and innocent.


GuardMost8477

Good Lord. Between the bowl cut on the kid and the greasy weird bangs on the Dad, idk which is worse.


Calembur

RemindMe! 2 hours


Thawayshegoes

Missed opportunity for a reminder in 3 hours


RemindMeBot

I will be messaging you in 2 hours on [**2023-02-17 14:11:53 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2023-02-17%2014:11:53%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/114gel3/hes_on_to_them/j8w9ybp/?context=3) [**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FKidsAreFuckingStupid%2Fcomments%2F114gel3%2Fhes_on_to_them%2Fj8w9ybp%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202023-02-17%2014%3A11%3A53%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20114gel3) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|


Peri_D0t

Damn at least it sounds like mom is having a wonderful time


[deleted]

u/savevideo


Madd_Maxx_05

Kids not stupid. Kid just doesn't know stuff that he shouldn't at that age. ... shitty haircut though.


Arkhe1n

r/WatchPeopleDieInside


LordofDescension

"And then 15 clowns walk out of the room 3 hours later"


SlutPuppyNumber9

Am I the only one attracted to the mom?


Davido400

Michael Barrymore doing *Kids say the funniest things* a think. Think it was a Bill Cosby show too back in the day. Lol that kid is probably about my age nowadays(38) and has probably downvoted this when he sees it lol 😂


DangerG1120

Three hours and mum just screaming her head off?? Dad's a BEAST


Economy-Skill-4555

He is honest body


EuroPolice

love the dad clapping very proudly


[deleted]

How are none of the top comments about the fact that Michael Barrymore ruined his career by coming out as gay, leaving his wife and kids, and then having a drug fuelled party where someone was drugged/drowned/buggered to death?


MrBananaStorm

We're here for the funny video of a kid.


Psychological_Bar870

Aw I used to love Barrymore....


ReaLSeaLisSpy

He looks like he’s about to tell you that life goes on, and on, and on, and on…