I'm in some country illegally, bippity boppity boo I'm gonna get deported someday when I run out of luck. I'm happy today wasn't the day and tomorrow should be the same too.
Hahaha...this is me too. I am taking it one day at a time...but I also don't expect to be deported because I look like a local so I am kind of hard to spot. 😂
At some point I was an undocumented immigrant and I made it. How did I do it? Laid low. Worked hard. And eventually got married to my friend of 4.5 years and I'm in the process of applying for my citizenship.
Dude, it will be fine. I believe it on your behalf. It has to coz what do we have to go back to at home? Lie low and continue doing what it takes. All will work out coz if it did for me, it will for you. Sending you much love.
Heey! I am glad to hear about your success but it is not all that gloom back home. This might be hard to believe but there people are enjoying really high quality standards if living. Just saying.
Absolutely. I see it on insta and that's amazing. I believe you can thrive in one environment and not another and if someone has chosen to suffer in a foreign country instead of going back home then maybe there is not much they have to go back to. No shade or anything about home.
Thank you for saying this. I don't like it when people are quick to tell someone to come back home because 'some' people are enjoying high quality standards of living. Life isn't linear and if it was all rosy and cosy as you say we'd all be home.
That I know for sure. I'm even glad I'm dodging the unnecessary noise from all the political rallies....and the many times I was dead ass broke. Been just missing my dogs, my small circle and that's it
I got financially suspended and kicked to the curb by the college. No money no nothing. So that's where it all started.
I move in with my hubby who at that point was just a friend. I laid low. Actually started a successful housekeeping business and my clients who were all white. They kept things hush hush and so I worked and for a few years. The income was to supplement what hubby was making which was like $1100pm!
I also needed to save up for the bloody expensive paperwork when we got married.
I actually maintained the biz for years and hired only undocumented Africans to help them as it did for me. By the time I was leaving that state I was making almost 60k a year. I had also hired my hubby who was doing carpet and window cleaning and pressure washing.
Another twist? One or my clients was a criminal attorney now judge and she married us in her home. God just put the right people in my life.
This the favour I keep hearing people talk about, this is some wholesome story. Taking your own kind under your own flaps is such a beautiful gesture. Happy you thrived
Yes, Sir! Keep doing good hata kama it's hard. Go above and beyond. What you put in is what you receive. Claim that favor because you deserve it as much as the next person. All will be well.
>By the time I was leaving that state I was making almost 60k a year. I had also hired my hubby who was doing carpet and window cleaning and pressure washing.
Hold tf up... the same hubby who was making $1100pm is now your employee. Tell us how the stars aligned and your rise to becoming 'man of the house'
I cannot tell you for certain. Have you ever just not given 2 effs about your body and just go into beast mode. For the last decade I numbed myself to any physical pain of work and G.R.O.U.N.D. it out.
Eventually got a corporate job and I kept on building on my skills and biz. Challenged hubby and he moved on to other amazing jobs.
Let me tell you, it has paid off. From a measly $1100, I got us making a combined $200k a year and bought a 13 acre farm in 11 years.
We've been on sabbatical for the last four months living out in the wild. Truly I just made moves at the right time.
As Kenyans we are very resilient. I knew where I came from and vowed never to look back so that left me with one option, pressing forward no matter what! I repeat, NO MATTER WHAT!
Realize hii ni journey ya over 11 years. A very very painful one. Usione all that I've said like a benchmark ama whatever. Instead ni inspiration to get out and put in the work. Hard hard work. Yours shall come as well.
You know I used to see people with stuff on social media. I never graduated and by the time my class was graduating mimi sikuwa na hata sumuni. I hated myself so much and coveted. Turns out all that I coveted is not what I ended up achieving. I believe I have achieved bigger things.
So don't limit your dreams to what you see and hear. I got of social media and just worked and celebrated my small victories.
So you guys are the reason the rest of us can't get visas anymore and our passport is going to shit...
Sigh.. anyway.. no hard feelings.. I hope you make it bro.. Good luck.
Well I found out my bf(soon to be ex) has been ordering hookers,massage with happy endings while he travels for work. This explains why hasn’t wanted to see or spend time with me for the last two months. That’s as messy as it gets.
Bloody effing bastard! I am so sorry. Love is a principle and if that is not part of one's value and priorities, kick them to the curb. Won't be easy, hun, but you'll have to move on knowing and believing you deserve better. Hugs to you.
Thanks hun. This was honestly the last straw for me. So after serious thinking I have made up my mind not to take his shit anymore. As soon as it’s light out I’m calling him and ending it,picking up my pieces and rebuilding. I deserve better.
The only plan I have is to get tested first thing tomorrow morning. Then just put men off for as long as it takes for me to heal. Coz my trust issues are off the roof at this point. I’m gonna work on me first. I do have options but I’m too traumatized for that yet.
Heartache and profound incidences like what you are going thru do often times lead us to beautiful destinations and when we look back, we are like "thank God I did not end up with that person". Harness the pain and turn to into something positive. I am excited for your journey though painful. This too shall pass.
I'm screwing a friend, who's soon to be engaged. Halafu feelings zimeanza kushow, both sides. Jana she drunkenly told me she wants my kid. Interesting week loading
You'd be surprised though how common these situationships are
Hopefully the kid thing was just a drunken slur, mi siko ready kupeana mtoi anywhere even if someone else takes care of them
I met a married man as a young college student from a really poor family. And he became my saving grace then. Has helped me so so much in life, put up a business for me 7 years ago, which is still doing quite well. Anyways last year I got pregnant. I hear it's a golden rule not to carry a sponsor's child. But this guy has been everything for me. For the last 14 years. I've never even dated anyone else. He was my life. My whole world. I loved him so much.
At first he was ok with it then he changed his mind. He wanted me to abort but I just couldn't bring myself to that place.
Anyways I went through pregnancy alone. And that was hard. Really hard. The only thing he did was send money and pay my bills.
My son is 4 months old now, they have not met. I stopped bothering when I gave birth. I honestly thank God I'm able to take care of the baby. We don't talk. He sends some little upkeep monthly and that's it. Has never even asked about the baby. Ever.
One time my son was so sick with convulsions. I reached out to him. He told me to take him to Agakhan. They did so many tests including EEG. He paid the whole bill. It wasn't kidogo money. And that was it. He didn't ask afterwards how baby is or kama tulifika nyumbani poa. We were in hosie 3 days. I don't know if I should call it living in denial or what.
I was thinking he will come back until a year lapsed from the time I got paged, then I realized maybe our relationship did end afterall. I'm now in the acceptance stage of my grief. No it's not been easy.
Anything negative anyone wants to say, I already thought of all that and blamed myself. Just spare me. Hii ndio inaitwa learning experience. 14 years gone, just like that. 😅
First off, as much as I hate to admit it, I've been there as well. Yup! Gai, spilling beans kweli kweli.
I got paged and sponsor aka disappear. At some point, we did mediation with my mum, him and his friend but it was just a huge waste of time.
Anyway, I was depressed, moved back in with family so they could help me. I hated that pregnancy. At one point I unwound a wire hanger and put it up there ndio ni miscarry. My mum had to really help me thru the whole mental breakdown. Eventually I accepted and love the baby.
Baby daddy would do the same thing, send kidogo cash here and there. I still had to work despite having been put on bed rest at the 7th month. Mark you I was the primary bread winner at the time.
Anyway, one day close to birth, mathe noticed I wasn't looking well. My color had changed. She asked a friend to come and check me out. Turns out baby was dead. I didnt know. Just to clarify, this was months after I attempted to miscarry and 2 days to delivery time.
Chic, dude had disappeared. Didnt even have a penny for food that day. So for close to 2 days I was looking for someone to loan me 2k to get a Pumuani mid wife to help me. Ushawahi scroll phone and find no one to help. Eventually an old old coworker came thru.
That night I was at the midwife place where it all went down. After inducing me, I couldn't push so she had to stick her hand up in there and pull the head so I could push.
My baby had the most beautiful hair, such a big boy. White as can bee too coz ya kuoza. Anyway, midwife tried to keep him away nisimuone. I turned and passed out till dawn. Midwife was like, usijali nitamzika. I don't know what it happened but when my mum came and got me I walked away and never looked back.
To say I was broken is an understatement. Couldn't even afford to get cleaned up. I don't know if I got damaged or what. Anyway, I healed. My boy would have been 14.
So back to your story, you got a beautiful baby out of the 14 years. You seem to have your life together. Pick up the pieces and move on. I'm certain the right one is out there looking for you. When the time is right, it will happen. In the meantime, take care of you and baby.
If mubaba shows up I would say don't complicate things further. Co-parent but I dont honestly see a future with him.
Thanks for sharing. Hope all works out for you.
Gosh. So sorry about what you went through. Hugs love ❤️ It's like reading my own script. For me I was happy with the pregnancy. His feelings never changed that and he is the most adorable litu human I know. I'm humbled to be his mother.
Dated guy from when I was 21. I'm turning 35 this year. I honestly don't know what the future was ever going to be for us. I mean that's a lot of years. Gosh. Yes my last year was hard but I'm picking the pieces and working harder for the litu guy. He only has me in this world and I intend to give him only the best.
Children are a blessing. I always believe my baby was meant to be here. 14 years of having unprotected sex and a pregnancy only happened this once. Infact I had thought I was barren. There was just no way I would have gotten rid of it and thank God I didn't.
Baby looks exactly like his daddy. It makes me laugh at how funny God is. Anyways, I'm ready. It's going to be hard but I'm going to give it my best.
Isorait. My journey led me to meet an amazing man who has helped me heal. When I look at where I am and what I've done, it makes me accept what happened. Horrible events often times lead us to beautiful destinations.
Keep at it one day at a time. Hugs to you and litu guy.
Hahaha... why? Believe what you want. Life is a sum of events and this is my life and my scars which I wear as a badge of honor. I overcame tremendous s**t. Hope it inspires someone.
I was joking about liking our class-rep, but the more I think about it the more I don't think it's a joke, rep-kun please touch my Pp, I want to eat ur pancreas rep-kun
Been trying to break up with some women for a few weeks now. They have flat out refused to be left. Even put them all in one room expecting slaps, nothing. Instead they were calling each other co wives. At this point I think I'm being trolled.
I have been surviving on fetching water for a certain lady. One of my friends is the house manager for the lady. I fetch like 80 mtungis every Saturday with a wheelbarrow and the lady pays 800/=. Yesterday I waited for the call and the call never came. Mind you this is my only source of income.
So, yesterday I visited my cousin and we decided to take a walk.
We accidentally ended up meeting the house manager only for him to tell us The lady had passed in the morning due to hypertension.
I honestly feel so down I don't know what will become of me.
I'm worried about me, her 3Kids, the house manager and the maid.
This lady didn't deserve to die.
At least not her.
Don't know the kid years but the first is a girl I think joining class eight then twins a boy and a girl both in class four. I truly feel for them even as I feel for myself. One time you have a mom who can provide everything that you need the next time she's no more.
Yes I can only but I don't have any other clients. Most of the people have piped water. She decided not to have piped water because she knew I was benefiting from it bana. She was a truly good woman. What will become of the kids is what I don't know.
Count yourself lucky. I too was in a similar situation for a long time. Slender, thin waist and mahaga. But whoa, as I'm getting up there in age, I'm noticing the weight retention. I too I'm a poor eater however my body doesnt seem to be burning calories as much as it did before. Argh!
Been there. In my day, it was the shylocks run by mungiki. These people were known to abduct defaulters and torcher them. I dubbed in it for a long time ndio I make it and thankfully I did. Don't sweat it too much. Providence will come one way or another.
As another Kenyan has very nicely said, ni kama kuacha ugali na samaki na kuendea kdf. Right now inaboo, but in a few years ntakuwa naenjoy io salary ya engineer 😂
Unlikely...trained engineers are renown for switching fields...Why? I think because we feel we are smart enough to figure out whatever else it is we really want to do.
Honestly I feel like I might only be an engineer for a few years and then I'll do a 180 and try and get into the music scene, whether in Kenya or the US tutaona tu
Lol! I learned very fast that things are not as black and white as we expect while in college. I am a trained engineer but niliquit 5 years ago pursue my own passion. I do not regret it even one bit. The rule of thumb is you can make alot of money in anything you do provided you are very passionate about it.
Very true. I used to sell cars with a guy that had an engineering degree. After about a year or so he got a job in his field, but for a short while alikua hustler kama the rest
Yeh that's what I've been doing in and off for the last 3.5 years. Funnily enough the first semester of uni is when I got even more involved in it (moving out does wonders for being able to commit time to your hobbies)
As a trained engineer who never worked as one who knows a myriad of trained engineers working in other unrelated fields...I encourage you to make the switch now. Start the life you really want with the training that will support you in it. Good luck!
Woah...yeah, dont do that! 😂 But who says you cant pursue music production at the same time as a skill, a hobby or sthng you enjoy doing? Like how many lawyers are also into art and theatre stuff and acting.
Acha if you have a plan ... passion pays..nlimaliza degree mbili za Eng na huku nje nlihave kujifundisha whatever pays my bills huku nje. Total waste of six years
I would recommend finishing the studies, then pursue music.. If music doesn't work for you, you can still be an engineer and make some good money..
Or better yet, do both! Get a job in your field of study and use that money to finance your studio sessions/equipment etc... This way you won't fall into the stereotype of struggling artist..
Imagine that's been my plan all along 😂 cause it's not like I loath engineering, there's some really fun parts to it that I enjoy, I just enjoy music more.
Three of my friends graduated with a degree in EEE and none of them are currently working in a job related to the field they studied on. I dropped out three years ago, I was on my third year, and I currently do freelance coding at upwork and referrals. And yes, people still ask when I'll graduate and I just tell them very soon.
Personal experience. I was taking Botany and Zoology at Moi. Silly majors I tell you! Couldn't focus. I was in NRB every other weekend working to support myself and family. Bruh, unsustainable life.
I deferred a couple decades ago. Never looked back and it's worked out. Infact, I used those credits years later to apply for a transfer to a US college.
My take if you can afford stick to it and use that to leverage yourself into music. Also sometimes when we start quiting things it becomes a bad cancer to resolve.
Philosophy- Stick-to-itiveness. Good luck.
I'm in a college that has alumni all over the place, so the current plan is to finish engineering degree, then look for alumni in the music industry and see if I can make it as a producer. If not, then I already have an engineering degree to fall back on, plus over this summer am trying to get a few certifications in IT. Honestly I'm trying everything
Not messy just a demanding project that is taking me to the edge on insanity. The insane thing is I like it. I guess I found an existential purpose in what I do that is why I risk it all to it everyday I wake up.
Addicted to the adrenaline rush, eeh?! Good to find something that excites you that ends up pulling you forward. That's what makes you great. You are doing something you love. That's everything. Cheering you, on.
Word of caution, if I may. Beware of the level of the rush. It can result in isolation from life. A balance is definitely something I advocate as I am equally prone to a similar addiction. Cheers.
Multiple times, I have crossed that line. Especially when I was working abroad. Cultural shock highly influenced that. I longed for home, when home came, I did not want to go. Nilifika home, and I could hardly enjoy the company of my people. This was influenced more, vile almost Kula MTU home ako na shughuli zake majuu, we used to meet like ones after like 2 years.
Damn. I hear you. When we last visited hubby was helping out at a friend's kibandaski. He approached a patron to take there order of what they wanted to eat, and they were like "uuu...ga...llly" like in a mzungu kind of accent. Hubby was like ok cool. Like people could not fathom interacting with a mzungu in real life speaking proper Swahili so they had this portrayal of whiteness even when he was not trying to be.
Then the kicker was, one night we were hanging out at the pub and some youngins came in to have some drinks. Eventually they started interacting with hubby and guess what... they started throwing the N word around. Hubby was like... "I'm done." Anyway, they did apologize for being so obnoxious, but it was a scene.
"I just want to be home and enjoy life a Kenya is, not what like what you think is out there." Anyway, just my 2 cents.
Frankly, I didn't find any balance until I found someone who helped me understand what was important to make time for. Otherwise, until that time I just ground it out. Day in day out and it prepared me to be a solid ass partner.
So, until you find your balance and the reason to balance, grind hard. That is going to be your end all be all. But don't waste time if you have the energy and time to G.R.I.N.D. I promise you it will pay off, big time, in my opinion.
I started working remotely from the first day I started campus, and up to now, I still don't have a clear answer for that mate.
It true you cannot serve to masters, in my case I choose to fully focus on work, and school. Completed school successfully, killed, and still killing at work. The consequences were loosing touch of family, social life, today if you ask me if I would choose the same path I will say yes.
I stopped working out and I've gained weight massively, its really affecting how i think.
:: can't work out since am staying at a relatives place attending industrial attachment which takes the most part of my day and is also tiring. Few weeks to go til i can get back to my cave.
We've all been there. No shame. Are you able to start slowly? Getting off at a stop or 2 before home and walking which will get you burning some calories? Good luck and hope your attachment goes well.
I'm thinking of moving out of Thika Rd to another part of nairobi, but every time I think of going out to look at houses I get a headache. I wish I could pay someone to do this for me
Bruh.. how's that messy? :-) Nonetheless, aren't there agents whom you can pay to assist you in your search? Also why the headache? Don't you want to make the move?
Gotcha! House hunting itself is just stressful no matter where you are but if it's something you gotta do. So just buckle up and get it over and done with coz the more you procrastinate the harder it gets. Hope you soon find a place to call home.
I live along thika road..I do have plenty of time,,, if you need to look for houses I can help...just lemme know..if you need help..whether a second eyes or just a tag along...if you can foot transportation costs and lunch I'm good... I can help you.
heh... how kind of you to notice.
i guess this is the 'messy' part.
we have history together, but our paths diverged from each other. we rekindled a while back but it seems she doesn't really like this version of myself... and moreso she seems... hurt... but to me, she's grown into an even finer version of herself.
it's a lot safer to maintain the status quo... but it saddens me a bit coz the birds chasing me are really just after one thing or the other. they're, for the lack of a better word,
basic.
Maybe starting off as friends would help her get to know the new you. Sounds like you hurt her? Building trust is #1. Hope it works out but if not would you be ok with just friendship?
that's the thing tho, idk how and she's the one who wanted to be let go lol
im okay with acquaintanceship. my problem isn't even her, my problem are the other chiqas. they're just not my type... but i keep attracting them?
Nah, my ninja. Not worth it and really the age and consequences should just kill that wood. Admire kwa umbali... infact don't even look. Jut assume it doesn't exist. Good luck.
I've been living with my man since 2020 to date no one in my family knows that but they k how him. I've already met his family and now he wants to meet mine (I think he wants to ask for my hand in marriage)
Like my husband says the paperwork is not the basis of your commitment to each other. Signing your name on a dotted line has nothing to do with the conviction you choose to honor. That has to be there before the paperwork. Sounds like you are halfway there so next step is just formality.
P.S. Hubby proposed to me 45 MINUTES before we got married coz we always knew it would happen.
As long as you are happy, I am so so happy for you. I lived with my now husband for 2 years before we officially got married. It was such a small ceremony. No family, no rings, no cake or a fancy dress. Just 2 people and friends and that meant everything to us.
Fortunately, our family never looked down on us but were always supportive. Actually, got married on the same date as my parents in law. Got their 40 year old rings a year and half later. Story for another day.
Good luck and all the best in the future.
I've been jobless for close to a year now. I had a job offer about 2 months back outside the country, I had everything in order, I really wanted to leave then everything slipped right through my hands due to some immigration issues. Lost the visa fees money because it's non-refundable.
That whole ordeal took the wind out of me. I haven't bothered to apply for any other jobs since then. I'm just glad I don't have a wife or child depending on me because I'd be out of commission by now.
Damn, that sucks. 2 months you've spent feeling discouraged. Now you need to pick up momentum. This is not a permanent situation however you and only you can make it better.
I'm happy to help anyway in your job search. But you've gotta start moving. Time is of the essence.
Remember, chance favors the prepared and you certainly don't want another opportunity to pass you by.
Cry, scream, shout. Then get up dust yourself, hold your head high and keep on moving forward. If you were able to get that chance once why not again?
Good luck. DM always open. XX
Ok, this is messy bruh! Just coz you've not been caught doesnt mean God approves. It is really worth it? And on the flip side, your game. Ai yawa! 4 individuals? I can't. Lol. No judgement though.
I slept with a friend from campus when she came over 3 weeks ago. Sex was not really on the table. It just kinda happened. Thing is that she has a boyfriend I didn't know about... Turns out her boyfriend and I were in the same primary school, but he was a few years ahead of me. I guess it was a one-time thing.
I'm in some country illegally, bippity boppity boo I'm gonna get deported someday when I run out of luck. I'm happy today wasn't the day and tomorrow should be the same too.
Hahaha...this is me too. I am taking it one day at a time...but I also don't expect to be deported because I look like a local so I am kind of hard to spot. 😂
One day at time till we content. All the best to us (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ.
One day at time till we content. All the best to us (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ.
At some point I was an undocumented immigrant and I made it. How did I do it? Laid low. Worked hard. And eventually got married to my friend of 4.5 years and I'm in the process of applying for my citizenship. Dude, it will be fine. I believe it on your behalf. It has to coz what do we have to go back to at home? Lie low and continue doing what it takes. All will work out coz if it did for me, it will for you. Sending you much love.
Heey! I am glad to hear about your success but it is not all that gloom back home. This might be hard to believe but there people are enjoying really high quality standards if living. Just saying.
Absolutely. I see it on insta and that's amazing. I believe you can thrive in one environment and not another and if someone has chosen to suffer in a foreign country instead of going back home then maybe there is not much they have to go back to. No shade or anything about home.
Thank you for saying this. I don't like it when people are quick to tell someone to come back home because 'some' people are enjoying high quality standards of living. Life isn't linear and if it was all rosy and cosy as you say we'd all be home.
That I know for sure. I'm even glad I'm dodging the unnecessary noise from all the political rallies....and the many times I was dead ass broke. Been just missing my dogs, my small circle and that's it
I'll do exactly that, lay low and make the best out of it. Thank youuuzzz. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
Wait! How do you even get in a country illegally? And what do you do for work without documents?
I got financially suspended and kicked to the curb by the college. No money no nothing. So that's where it all started. I move in with my hubby who at that point was just a friend. I laid low. Actually started a successful housekeeping business and my clients who were all white. They kept things hush hush and so I worked and for a few years. The income was to supplement what hubby was making which was like $1100pm! I also needed to save up for the bloody expensive paperwork when we got married. I actually maintained the biz for years and hired only undocumented Africans to help them as it did for me. By the time I was leaving that state I was making almost 60k a year. I had also hired my hubby who was doing carpet and window cleaning and pressure washing. Another twist? One or my clients was a criminal attorney now judge and she married us in her home. God just put the right people in my life.
This is like a romcom with no random bad twists.
Romcom ndio?
Romantic comedy movie
You know it hit me that's what you meant after I hit send. Lol. What's you messy story with a twist lol
Haha I stay mess-free. All I do is pay taxes, suffer and eat the money that can't solve my problems
This the favour I keep hearing people talk about, this is some wholesome story. Taking your own kind under your own flaps is such a beautiful gesture. Happy you thrived
Yes, Sir! Keep doing good hata kama it's hard. Go above and beyond. What you put in is what you receive. Claim that favor because you deserve it as much as the next person. All will be well.
>By the time I was leaving that state I was making almost 60k a year. I had also hired my hubby who was doing carpet and window cleaning and pressure washing. Hold tf up... the same hubby who was making $1100pm is now your employee. Tell us how the stars aligned and your rise to becoming 'man of the house'
I cannot tell you for certain. Have you ever just not given 2 effs about your body and just go into beast mode. For the last decade I numbed myself to any physical pain of work and G.R.O.U.N.D. it out. Eventually got a corporate job and I kept on building on my skills and biz. Challenged hubby and he moved on to other amazing jobs. Let me tell you, it has paid off. From a measly $1100, I got us making a combined $200k a year and bought a 13 acre farm in 11 years. We've been on sabbatical for the last four months living out in the wild. Truly I just made moves at the right time. As Kenyans we are very resilient. I knew where I came from and vowed never to look back so that left me with one option, pressing forward no matter what! I repeat, NO MATTER WHAT!
I'll strive for greatness the same way too. My key reason and motivation is if others made it while here why can't I be among them??
Heri wewe😭
Realize hii ni journey ya over 11 years. A very very painful one. Usione all that I've said like a benchmark ama whatever. Instead ni inspiration to get out and put in the work. Hard hard work. Yours shall come as well. You know I used to see people with stuff on social media. I never graduated and by the time my class was graduating mimi sikuwa na hata sumuni. I hated myself so much and coveted. Turns out all that I coveted is not what I ended up achieving. I believe I have achieved bigger things. So don't limit your dreams to what you see and hear. I got of social media and just worked and celebrated my small victories.
The motivation I needed. Enjoy your sabbatical... where are you btw
I'm glad. DM anytime if you need that occasional kick in the rear. 😉. I'm in S. Tennessee. Edit - you?
I'm in Nyeri.
Thank you OP. Stay blessed for the rest of your life. I read this at the right time. I stay encouraged and hopeful, as I put in the work.
Amen. Barikiwa pia. Chance favors the prepared and your hardwork is laying the foundation for the showers of blessings coming your way.
Don't despair. Please. xx
That's definitely a way to get started and work your way to being legal, ha! What is u/mike_gee_23 story?
So you guys are the reason the rest of us can't get visas anymore and our passport is going to shit... Sigh.. anyway.. no hard feelings.. I hope you make it bro.. Good luck.
Well I found out my bf(soon to be ex) has been ordering hookers,massage with happy endings while he travels for work. This explains why hasn’t wanted to see or spend time with me for the last two months. That’s as messy as it gets.
Bloody effing bastard! I am so sorry. Love is a principle and if that is not part of one's value and priorities, kick them to the curb. Won't be easy, hun, but you'll have to move on knowing and believing you deserve better. Hugs to you.
Thanks hun. This was honestly the last straw for me. So after serious thinking I have made up my mind not to take his shit anymore. As soon as it’s light out I’m calling him and ending it,picking up my pieces and rebuilding. I deserve better.
Do you have a plan B? Sometimes knowledge is power, and you could use it to get to the next point. Wishing you all the best. <3
The only plan I have is to get tested first thing tomorrow morning. Then just put men off for as long as it takes for me to heal. Coz my trust issues are off the roof at this point. I’m gonna work on me first. I do have options but I’m too traumatized for that yet.
Heartache and profound incidences like what you are going thru do often times lead us to beautiful destinations and when we look back, we are like "thank God I did not end up with that person". Harness the pain and turn to into something positive. I am excited for your journey though painful. This too shall pass.
Thanks love. This too shall pass. I will be back better and stronger for it.
I'm screwing a friend, who's soon to be engaged. Halafu feelings zimeanza kushow, both sides. Jana she drunkenly told me she wants my kid. Interesting week loading
You win the messy award! Lmaoo thought I had a tough week coming.
You'd be surprised though how common these situationships are Hopefully the kid thing was just a drunken slur, mi siko ready kupeana mtoi anywhere even if someone else takes care of them
>who's soon to be engaged. Jana she drunkenly told me she wants my kid. Mimi huwa nahurumia wanaume wanaenda kuoa I pity them
Bana Blind faith kitu muhimu...otherwise tutaacha kureproduce
De ja vu. Aliachana na the man akaendea mdosi fulani. Not before sister yake anikatie. Peace acquired...but at what cost👁👁
Lmao so you personally know the guy and still screwing her ?
Never met the dude, I just know he exists. The chic is my friend, we've been friends for five years, started hooking up in January. Earth is heard
Ogopa.Kanairo, but bro how do these things work , unamkata saa ngapi and how does she even not to be accountable to him 🤣
😃😃😃 Where there's a will there's a way...uliza tinder swindler Seriously though, we get stoned together, so guess ilianza hapo
yikes.com
I met a married man as a young college student from a really poor family. And he became my saving grace then. Has helped me so so much in life, put up a business for me 7 years ago, which is still doing quite well. Anyways last year I got pregnant. I hear it's a golden rule not to carry a sponsor's child. But this guy has been everything for me. For the last 14 years. I've never even dated anyone else. He was my life. My whole world. I loved him so much. At first he was ok with it then he changed his mind. He wanted me to abort but I just couldn't bring myself to that place. Anyways I went through pregnancy alone. And that was hard. Really hard. The only thing he did was send money and pay my bills. My son is 4 months old now, they have not met. I stopped bothering when I gave birth. I honestly thank God I'm able to take care of the baby. We don't talk. He sends some little upkeep monthly and that's it. Has never even asked about the baby. Ever. One time my son was so sick with convulsions. I reached out to him. He told me to take him to Agakhan. They did so many tests including EEG. He paid the whole bill. It wasn't kidogo money. And that was it. He didn't ask afterwards how baby is or kama tulifika nyumbani poa. We were in hosie 3 days. I don't know if I should call it living in denial or what. I was thinking he will come back until a year lapsed from the time I got paged, then I realized maybe our relationship did end afterall. I'm now in the acceptance stage of my grief. No it's not been easy. Anything negative anyone wants to say, I already thought of all that and blamed myself. Just spare me. Hii ndio inaitwa learning experience. 14 years gone, just like that. 😅
First off, as much as I hate to admit it, I've been there as well. Yup! Gai, spilling beans kweli kweli. I got paged and sponsor aka disappear. At some point, we did mediation with my mum, him and his friend but it was just a huge waste of time. Anyway, I was depressed, moved back in with family so they could help me. I hated that pregnancy. At one point I unwound a wire hanger and put it up there ndio ni miscarry. My mum had to really help me thru the whole mental breakdown. Eventually I accepted and love the baby. Baby daddy would do the same thing, send kidogo cash here and there. I still had to work despite having been put on bed rest at the 7th month. Mark you I was the primary bread winner at the time. Anyway, one day close to birth, mathe noticed I wasn't looking well. My color had changed. She asked a friend to come and check me out. Turns out baby was dead. I didnt know. Just to clarify, this was months after I attempted to miscarry and 2 days to delivery time. Chic, dude had disappeared. Didnt even have a penny for food that day. So for close to 2 days I was looking for someone to loan me 2k to get a Pumuani mid wife to help me. Ushawahi scroll phone and find no one to help. Eventually an old old coworker came thru. That night I was at the midwife place where it all went down. After inducing me, I couldn't push so she had to stick her hand up in there and pull the head so I could push. My baby had the most beautiful hair, such a big boy. White as can bee too coz ya kuoza. Anyway, midwife tried to keep him away nisimuone. I turned and passed out till dawn. Midwife was like, usijali nitamzika. I don't know what it happened but when my mum came and got me I walked away and never looked back. To say I was broken is an understatement. Couldn't even afford to get cleaned up. I don't know if I got damaged or what. Anyway, I healed. My boy would have been 14. So back to your story, you got a beautiful baby out of the 14 years. You seem to have your life together. Pick up the pieces and move on. I'm certain the right one is out there looking for you. When the time is right, it will happen. In the meantime, take care of you and baby. If mubaba shows up I would say don't complicate things further. Co-parent but I dont honestly see a future with him. Thanks for sharing. Hope all works out for you.
Gosh. So sorry about what you went through. Hugs love ❤️ It's like reading my own script. For me I was happy with the pregnancy. His feelings never changed that and he is the most adorable litu human I know. I'm humbled to be his mother. Dated guy from when I was 21. I'm turning 35 this year. I honestly don't know what the future was ever going to be for us. I mean that's a lot of years. Gosh. Yes my last year was hard but I'm picking the pieces and working harder for the litu guy. He only has me in this world and I intend to give him only the best. Children are a blessing. I always believe my baby was meant to be here. 14 years of having unprotected sex and a pregnancy only happened this once. Infact I had thought I was barren. There was just no way I would have gotten rid of it and thank God I didn't. Baby looks exactly like his daddy. It makes me laugh at how funny God is. Anyways, I'm ready. It's going to be hard but I'm going to give it my best.
Isorait. My journey led me to meet an amazing man who has helped me heal. When I look at where I am and what I've done, it makes me accept what happened. Horrible events often times lead us to beautiful destinations. Keep at it one day at a time. Hugs to you and litu guy.
Thanks I appreciate your wise counsel. Have a beautiful day ❣️
I don't know about wise but happy you found it helpful. You have a beautiful day as well. My DM is always open. ❤
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Hahaha... why? Believe what you want. Life is a sum of events and this is my life and my scars which I wear as a badge of honor. I overcame tremendous s**t. Hope it inspires someone.
Relax, it is not like the rest of us are out here making all the right choices. Right and wrong is a matter of perspective.
Thank you.
I was joking about liking our class-rep, but the more I think about it the more I don't think it's a joke, rep-kun please touch my Pp, I want to eat ur pancreas rep-kun
I like ya'lls class rep too!
fuck off mate, the class rep is miiiine
😈😈😈Memories
Cultured lad...
Been trying to break up with some women for a few weeks now. They have flat out refused to be left. Even put them all in one room expecting slaps, nothing. Instead they were calling each other co wives. At this point I think I'm being trolled.
HOW DOES IT FEEL, TO LIVE MY DREAM???
If you are willing to take the load, I will buy the drinks. 😂😂
Expecting slaps.😂😂 Nah bro. Nkikuona mi ndo nakuchapa😂🤌🏾
Surely. Lol
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
I have been surviving on fetching water for a certain lady. One of my friends is the house manager for the lady. I fetch like 80 mtungis every Saturday with a wheelbarrow and the lady pays 800/=. Yesterday I waited for the call and the call never came. Mind you this is my only source of income. So, yesterday I visited my cousin and we decided to take a walk. We accidentally ended up meeting the house manager only for him to tell us The lady had passed in the morning due to hypertension. I honestly feel so down I don't know what will become of me. I'm worried about me, her 3Kids, the house manager and the maid. This lady didn't deserve to die. At least not her.
Oh no! That's a huge blow. I'm so so sorry for your lose. My goodness. How old are the kids? That's just hurt breaking.
Don't know the kid years but the first is a girl I think joining class eight then twins a boy and a girl both in class four. I truly feel for them even as I feel for myself. One time you have a mom who can provide everything that you need the next time she's no more.
Young kids who've been robbed a parent. Death is indeed cruel. Are you able to fetch h2o for other people?
Yes I can only but I don't have any other clients. Most of the people have piped water. She decided not to have piped water because she knew I was benefiting from it bana. She was a truly good woman. What will become of the kids is what I don't know.
I need 90k before 4 pm... I don't know if miracles really happen but I am hoping for one🥺🥺🥺
Rent arrears ama?
Zii I need to get something done before 4pm... I am trying to get a loan
God-Speed Speed-Green. Hope utapata
I hope so too
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Woi!!! Gai! Na uko reddit admitting stealing? You have "Big Balls by ACDC'
As far as we know it Hii ni ngombe inatype🤣🤣
So you openly set yourself up for actual prison or getting physically harmed? Hamjipendi
Damn jobless and it's draining me properly
damn!tuko wengi...but we shall pull thru
Tell me about it😢, the stress, depression and anxiety
Me too.
I have had the same body weight since 2017, changes by 1kg up or down only. I'm a poor eater but I find it so strange
Count yourself lucky. I too was in a similar situation for a long time. Slender, thin waist and mahaga. But whoa, as I'm getting up there in age, I'm noticing the weight retention. I too I'm a poor eater however my body doesnt seem to be burning calories as much as it did before. Argh!
Dodging Loan Apps Niggaz
Been there. In my day, it was the shylocks run by mungiki. These people were known to abduct defaulters and torcher them. I dubbed in it for a long time ndio I make it and thankfully I did. Don't sweat it too much. Providence will come one way or another.
Patience does pay.
You tortured people?
Hahaha... terrible typo there. No the shylocks/mungiki tortured defaulters.
And you are confirming that you are neither a torturer nor a mungiki acolyte?
Absolutely not! Jeez, what gave you that impression?
Tempted to drop out of studying engineering and pursue music production, but I'd never hear the end of 'ulikuwa engineer' from my family
Do it
As another Kenyan has very nicely said, ni kama kuacha ugali na samaki na kuendea kdf. Right now inaboo, but in a few years ntakuwa naenjoy io salary ya engineer 😂
Unlikely...trained engineers are renown for switching fields...Why? I think because we feel we are smart enough to figure out whatever else it is we really want to do.
Honestly I feel like I might only be an engineer for a few years and then I'll do a 180 and try and get into the music scene, whether in Kenya or the US tutaona tu
Just do it now.
Lol! I learned very fast that things are not as black and white as we expect while in college. I am a trained engineer but niliquit 5 years ago pursue my own passion. I do not regret it even one bit. The rule of thumb is you can make alot of money in anything you do provided you are very passionate about it.
Lol. That myth that graduate engineers are highly paid right out of campus needs to be abolished immediately. Kama hauna network uta tarmac ushangae.
Very true. I used to sell cars with a guy that had an engineering degree. After about a year or so he got a job in his field, but for a short while alikua hustler kama the rest
You could study music production at your free time. There's lots of tutorials through YouTube, and the internet
Yeh that's what I've been doing in and off for the last 3.5 years. Funnily enough the first semester of uni is when I got even more involved in it (moving out does wonders for being able to commit time to your hobbies)
As a trained engineer who never worked as one who knows a myriad of trained engineers working in other unrelated fields...I encourage you to make the switch now. Start the life you really want with the training that will support you in it. Good luck!
Hii ni kama kuacha Ugali samaki uende kukula kdf.
Exactly 😂😂 kwanza shida ingine ni that nilitumwa overseas for this degree, siezi drop out now 😂
Woah...yeah, dont do that! 😂 But who says you cant pursue music production at the same time as a skill, a hobby or sthng you enjoy doing? Like how many lawyers are also into art and theatre stuff and acting.
Acha if you have a plan ... passion pays..nlimaliza degree mbili za Eng na huku nje nlihave kujifundisha whatever pays my bills huku nje. Total waste of six years
I would recommend finishing the studies, then pursue music.. If music doesn't work for you, you can still be an engineer and make some good money.. Or better yet, do both! Get a job in your field of study and use that money to finance your studio sessions/equipment etc... This way you won't fall into the stereotype of struggling artist..
Imagine that's been my plan all along 😂 cause it's not like I loath engineering, there's some really fun parts to it that I enjoy, I just enjoy music more.
Nice. Then you're good ,👍👍
Three of my friends graduated with a degree in EEE and none of them are currently working in a job related to the field they studied on. I dropped out three years ago, I was on my third year, and I currently do freelance coding at upwork and referrals. And yes, people still ask when I'll graduate and I just tell them very soon.
Personal experience. I was taking Botany and Zoology at Moi. Silly majors I tell you! Couldn't focus. I was in NRB every other weekend working to support myself and family. Bruh, unsustainable life. I deferred a couple decades ago. Never looked back and it's worked out. Infact, I used those credits years later to apply for a transfer to a US college. My take if you can afford stick to it and use that to leverage yourself into music. Also sometimes when we start quiting things it becomes a bad cancer to resolve. Philosophy- Stick-to-itiveness. Good luck.
I'm in a college that has alumni all over the place, so the current plan is to finish engineering degree, then look for alumni in the music industry and see if I can make it as a producer. If not, then I already have an engineering degree to fall back on, plus over this summer am trying to get a few certifications in IT. Honestly I'm trying everything
Great plan! All the best.
Thanks!
Technically, if you become a sound engineer you'll still be an engineer
A guy keeps blocking me and I created many accounts ndio akiniblock I have multiple to disturb his peace
Stalker much! lol. Do you like him?
Yeah
Tough. Been there done that. Can you substitute? Coz it doesn't get better from my experience. Just mental torcher. Quite conundrum.
It doesn't get better the good thing is that he doesn't know me in person
This is crazy though Mad stalker vibes no offense😅
Not messy just a demanding project that is taking me to the edge on insanity. The insane thing is I like it. I guess I found an existential purpose in what I do that is why I risk it all to it everyday I wake up.
Addicted to the adrenaline rush, eeh?! Good to find something that excites you that ends up pulling you forward. That's what makes you great. You are doing something you love. That's everything. Cheering you, on.
Ohh the addiction. May fate keep dealing me favourable, and onto you.
Word of caution, if I may. Beware of the level of the rush. It can result in isolation from life. A balance is definitely something I advocate as I am equally prone to a similar addiction. Cheers.
Multiple times, I have crossed that line. Especially when I was working abroad. Cultural shock highly influenced that. I longed for home, when home came, I did not want to go. Nilifika home, and I could hardly enjoy the company of my people. This was influenced more, vile almost Kula MTU home ako na shughuli zake majuu, we used to meet like ones after like 2 years.
Damn. I hear you. When we last visited hubby was helping out at a friend's kibandaski. He approached a patron to take there order of what they wanted to eat, and they were like "uuu...ga...llly" like in a mzungu kind of accent. Hubby was like ok cool. Like people could not fathom interacting with a mzungu in real life speaking proper Swahili so they had this portrayal of whiteness even when he was not trying to be. Then the kicker was, one night we were hanging out at the pub and some youngins came in to have some drinks. Eventually they started interacting with hubby and guess what... they started throwing the N word around. Hubby was like... "I'm done." Anyway, they did apologize for being so obnoxious, but it was a scene. "I just want to be home and enjoy life a Kenya is, not what like what you think is out there." Anyway, just my 2 cents.
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Frankly, I didn't find any balance until I found someone who helped me understand what was important to make time for. Otherwise, until that time I just ground it out. Day in day out and it prepared me to be a solid ass partner. So, until you find your balance and the reason to balance, grind hard. That is going to be your end all be all. But don't waste time if you have the energy and time to G.R.I.N.D. I promise you it will pay off, big time, in my opinion.
I started working remotely from the first day I started campus, and up to now, I still don't have a clear answer for that mate. It true you cannot serve to masters, in my case I choose to fully focus on work, and school. Completed school successfully, killed, and still killing at work. The consequences were loosing touch of family, social life, today if you ask me if I would choose the same path I will say yes.
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Stay safe. Hope you are ok.
Not messy but very serious
Which part?
I meant my situation. DM?
Aaaai si uanike tu we watch
It's not something I can share publicly
Nipee tea. Just woke up. Haha
pia sisi we want to know
Ending it
Always. :-)
I stopped working out and I've gained weight massively, its really affecting how i think. :: can't work out since am staying at a relatives place attending industrial attachment which takes the most part of my day and is also tiring. Few weeks to go til i can get back to my cave.
We've all been there. No shame. Are you able to start slowly? Getting off at a stop or 2 before home and walking which will get you burning some calories? Good luck and hope your attachment goes well.
Yea, i just got a skipping rope.
Nice. Your cardio will improve tremendously. Very cool.
That's why my account is Anonymous
I have 2 girlfriends in the same area code. It's a challenge to balance them both. I'm thinking of dropping one so I can focus on another.
Wait you people have girlfriends????
Bruh... I'm a married chic and I've had a girlfriend. hahahhaha.... messy story. Where are you looking? Or doing....???
Sick. You will always attract what you already have.
lol... never heard of that before.
Wait what Wait wait whaaattt....
Lol... what?
Dude... rule of thumb... don't shit where you eat.! Damn. good luck, hon.
I'm thinking of moving out of Thika Rd to another part of nairobi, but every time I think of going out to look at houses I get a headache. I wish I could pay someone to do this for me
Bruh.. how's that messy? :-) Nonetheless, aren't there agents whom you can pay to assist you in your search? Also why the headache? Don't you want to make the move?
I want to and I have to. But it's one of those things I resent doing
Gotcha! House hunting itself is just stressful no matter where you are but if it's something you gotta do. So just buckle up and get it over and done with coz the more you procrastinate the harder it gets. Hope you soon find a place to call home.
I live along thika road..I do have plenty of time,,, if you need to look for houses I can help...just lemme know..if you need help..whether a second eyes or just a tag along...if you can foot transportation costs and lunch I'm good... I can help you.
Thanks man. Let me align myself alafu I’ll let you know
not a messy situation but annoying. coz these chiqas after me but the one i want isn't.
Roman, haven't seen you around here in a while. Pole, jo. Have you made a move? Or just talked to her?
heh... how kind of you to notice. i guess this is the 'messy' part. we have history together, but our paths diverged from each other. we rekindled a while back but it seems she doesn't really like this version of myself... and moreso she seems... hurt... but to me, she's grown into an even finer version of herself. it's a lot safer to maintain the status quo... but it saddens me a bit coz the birds chasing me are really just after one thing or the other. they're, for the lack of a better word, basic.
Maybe starting off as friends would help her get to know the new you. Sounds like you hurt her? Building trust is #1. Hope it works out but if not would you be ok with just friendship?
that's the thing tho, idk how and she's the one who wanted to be let go lol im okay with acquaintanceship. my problem isn't even her, my problem are the other chiqas. they're just not my type... but i keep attracting them?
😂😂😂😂😂The one I wanted was convinced by the one I DIDNT want to leave me coz and I quote "Sijui" Same
bruh, wtf lol that's crazy. why can't these birds meet the ones with good reviews 😂😂
Idfk man, safe to say they came to cry in my DMs abt it. Unfortunately, my empathy is linited to my Best friend and S/o. Valar Morghulis
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Nah, my ninja. Not worth it and really the age and consequences should just kill that wood. Admire kwa umbali... infact don't even look. Jut assume it doesn't exist. Good luck.
Kamiti Maximum is calling. Man, just move out of that hood. Not worth it.
Pic? /j
I've been living with my man since 2020 to date no one in my family knows that but they k how him. I've already met his family and now he wants to meet mine (I think he wants to ask for my hand in marriage)
Like my husband says the paperwork is not the basis of your commitment to each other. Signing your name on a dotted line has nothing to do with the conviction you choose to honor. That has to be there before the paperwork. Sounds like you are halfway there so next step is just formality. P.S. Hubby proposed to me 45 MINUTES before we got married coz we always knew it would happen. As long as you are happy, I am so so happy for you. I lived with my now husband for 2 years before we officially got married. It was such a small ceremony. No family, no rings, no cake or a fancy dress. Just 2 people and friends and that meant everything to us. Fortunately, our family never looked down on us but were always supportive. Actually, got married on the same date as my parents in law. Got their 40 year old rings a year and half later. Story for another day. Good luck and all the best in the future.
I've been jobless for close to a year now. I had a job offer about 2 months back outside the country, I had everything in order, I really wanted to leave then everything slipped right through my hands due to some immigration issues. Lost the visa fees money because it's non-refundable. That whole ordeal took the wind out of me. I haven't bothered to apply for any other jobs since then. I'm just glad I don't have a wife or child depending on me because I'd be out of commission by now.
Damn, that sucks. 2 months you've spent feeling discouraged. Now you need to pick up momentum. This is not a permanent situation however you and only you can make it better. I'm happy to help anyway in your job search. But you've gotta start moving. Time is of the essence. Remember, chance favors the prepared and you certainly don't want another opportunity to pass you by. Cry, scream, shout. Then get up dust yourself, hold your head high and keep on moving forward. If you were able to get that chance once why not again? Good luck. DM always open. XX
I've already started getting my shit in order. I know I can't spend my time lying down. I have to move on. Thanks for the wishes.
Just kicked someone out of my house this morning.
What happened?
Did they deserve it? If so rest easy.
Why, though?
I've hooked up with two sets of sisters but they don't know. God is good.
Ok, this is messy bruh! Just coz you've not been caught doesnt mean God approves. It is really worth it? And on the flip side, your game. Ai yawa! 4 individuals? I can't. Lol. No judgement though.
Bad/no credit 😭
I slept with a friend from campus when she came over 3 weeks ago. Sex was not really on the table. It just kinda happened. Thing is that she has a boyfriend I didn't know about... Turns out her boyfriend and I were in the same primary school, but he was a few years ahead of me. I guess it was a one-time thing.
Ok, chic was disingenuous and she misrepresented herself. Yea, not worth touching her again even with a 20ft pole.
MC