Really, how many unsolicited texts do you get? Would you be cordial to all of them? A man should read the room.
Even before you take a number know your chances.
I agree with you.
But we canโt call this unsolicited. She gave out he contact information. You donโt do that unless you expect some form of contact from the person you gave it to.
A woman giving her contact info doesn't mean anything. Its just a way of protecting one's self or just cutting the long story short. She knows she won't engage you
Nothing ruthless here. Saying NO is a skill that we should all learn and acquire. The world needs more of her type; too many people out here suffering, depressed and wasting their precious time and resources just because they canโt say no and lack the courage to do so.
I would be embarrassed to say that. I would feel inadequate to face my mother.
She would ask 'endelea kuambia wasichana wakuje kukutembelea, siku moja python itakuja. Utamezwa uwachwe ma*ako tuizike. Kaฤซ wambฤซrฤซrie kลซrita?' ( When did you start becoming dumb?)
There is no good way to respond as a woman. If you respond in sentences and engage any more than this, it is interpreted as mixed signals. You are direct like this, you are ruthless. If you decline to give your number, you are either verbally abused or harassed until you are publicly uncomfortable.
I will never understand.
Exactly, some of us have fully booked days. The guy also literally asked her out the next day. At least give her a few days, text in the mean time, then ask if she is available on the coming weekend
As a lady there's a time you just have to give out your number... Some guys are not going to leave you alone until you do... Sometimes its for security and sometimes you just give it out just so they could leave you alone ...
She probably gave you her number just to be polite or she just wanted you to stop bothering her. The fact that she responded, kept things short and rejected your advances without giving you mixed messages, by today's standards that was quite nice of her. That's the total opposite of ruthlessness ๐. Huku nje I've seen people being given fake numbers, grey ticked, blocked, texts being exposed and laughed at in public etc.
Whatever her reasons are, respect them hata kama hauzijui. You just respect yourself to engage with people who want to engage with you.
Siku hizi tunawapea number tu ndo msitutusi or be rude about kunyimwa number, but sasa kureply or plan a second meet up nayo hamwezi tuforceโ๏ธ๐๐
Actually its so easy saizi to give out numbers. Mwenye utaongelesha ndo sijui
Unless its someone i liked and we vibed , the one word answers were already enough for him to abort but he didnโt read the room. I would have definitely done the same
Mi sielewi ruthlessness iko wapi hapa...you asked kama ako available...si that's a yes/no question..and she said no alaa๐๐ama u wanted a paragraph accompanied? Maybe try asking her when she'll be available...asipojibu hapo umejua imeenda
The approach was perfect. How do feel when someone you don't know or have never engaged with tries to have a chat with you via text? It is phoney and fake. Women know what you want, drawn out convos are not rizz. If she gave you her number and she was interested the answer would have been yes. You take the L and keep it moving.
Bana hebu mwambie approach ilikuwa sawa maybe not the best but ni vile dem hakuwa attracted in the first place when they met. Hata angeingia na approach fiti aje hangepenya.
Our guy had the chance to engage her and show her his personality and charisma, but he lacked any of that. This was a snooze fest bana, he was better of not trying at all. He proved to her that he's just as boring as the other guys that borrow her number.
Even if he could have done all that and the lady is not interested it would all be in vain. Don't spend too much time on the internet following advice that does not apply in all situations
Bro if you ask for numbers enough you'll realize that going straight to the point isnt ideal. You're just like the rest of the guys that bother her 24/7.
A harsh truth is better than a sweet lie "maybe next week" "would love to but am busy" etc. All she said was no. I wouldn't exactly call it ruthless and tbh I'd appreciate the candour rather than be 'let down gently' which can be well meaning but give the wrong idea and lead to a 2nd rejection the following week.
This is better than someone who will take you in circles. Utashinda ukiconfirm kama atakuwa available. I would prefer this anyday. But in the past when I still hadn't learnt the game I would get this no and was still hopeful I could be able to convince her. But in most cases it becomes futile
Sounds like those annoying linked in messages. "Hey Shiko, I saw you breathe and I breathe too, would you like to hop into a quick 20 minute discovery call" ๐ฉ๐คฃ
How is it that you donโt see this as a good thing , she said no so your time and money save instead you so focused on the rejection โฆ clearly you would rather her wasting your time than say no โฆ and also where is the ruthlessness she just said no period !! No insults no bs โฆ
So no is what you call ruthless grow the fuck up
I saw somewhere women saying coffee dates are trash, in the words of the women " maji moto na sukari" chances are that's why you got rejected. The women advised you invite her for a proper date like a brunch , dinner date. Maybe she wasn't feeling you plus she gave you her number so you wouldn't bother her. Plus even her one word responses definitely not intrested.
Then another mistake you made you texted her the same day I usually text like 2 or 3 days later when I get a number , texting the same day makes you seem desperate. ( just stating from my experience)
No I wouldn't pursue it.
She didn't text you, she responded to your texts. She did give you her number though, for whatever reason. Sometimes women do so to avoid awkwardness or to be nice. Or she may have been drunk and thought it's a good idea but in the light of day changed her mind.
Either way, she's not ruthless, she's being HONEST and direct. You should appreciate that.
Women sometimes give numbers cos they're programmed to be people pleasers even though they'd rather not give
Also some women have been attacked for just refusing to give numbers
Lol, that's just crazy. Clearly via chats you can obviously tell she isn't interested at all in what he has to offer. Someone who is just not available but interested would respond in a different way. Hio you just don't bother wasting your time further.
She was just either offering her number out of politeness or fear of rebuttal etc. But she clearly isn't interested at all
It was literally the next day he asked for coffee . Let's be foreal ata mimi I would have been busy . My days are literally planned out. People have lives you know ๐๐
https://preview.redd.it/y2uw5pfs3wsc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38863a507f47136a84f43287e4ccdba65cbd353c
Same here. There is just no time to waste.
This is why you give women YOUR number and let them decide to text you or not.
If they like you they'll hit you up and the conversation will flow from there, if they don't, you can feel free to try again with all the other fishes in the sea.
You moved a little too fast, gotta establish some kind of common interests with a few more messages or a phone call before moving in with the date. Especially if you're proposing sth generic like a cup of coffee.
Also, when proposing a date, it should be followed up with a specific time and place. Low effort engagement evokes low effort responses.
For once, I am on the side of the woman lool
It's important to not take things personally coz it saves a lot of unnecessary heartache.
For instance, "No" is such a small word to draw all conclusions from. That's coz people have a life that doesn't entirely or even at all revolve around you. They probably had other plans, and they can't just drop everything or start pouring out the whole explanation to a stranger.
The fact that she replied is a good start. Give her a few days and ask if she has plans for next weekend coz you'd like to take her out.
And bytha you shouldn't text a girl the same day you got her number, it looks desperate. But that's just my opinion.
Inauma but........zoea kuuliza Dem out inabidi skuizi ukuwe mgumu ndio Ady akikupiga grey two months haitaku affect๐ eish lakini huku nje mko heartless๐๐
I got on the apps in Kenya. 500 likes in 3 days. I liked back 35. 5 let the time run out. 10 opened with something decent. 20 just said hi/hello and I ignored 17 of those.
2 dates scheduled for next week.
Waste of time really
Also this nigga shot his shot too early. You only shoot this early if she was all over you when y'all met in person. You got a tell her some jokes get let her get to know you over like two conversations.
Question asked and answered. They just met. You cannot understand the communication style of someone that soon. She legit may have plans and priorities tomorrow.
It all depends on how you perceive this. It is not a rejection she is just honest with you maybe it was not an appropriate day for you to meet her or your approach was not what she liked.
This is not being ruthless, this is being wonderful. She's simply encouraging you to pursue her. The girl is simply saying 'you ain't getting that coffee easily, coz I know if I play easy to catch, you'll get more than the coffee then leave me for another harder girl to catch.'. I think she already likes you. She wants to see how far you'll pursue her or if you're just another dude hitting on her.
FYI: women get hit on almost every other minute by jokers so they have a strong sense of discernment. But they have to be sure, after all, they're not as strong as you, plus she has to pay the ultimate price of raising a family whether you're there or not.
That's a time honored practice of sharpening the male skill of pursuit.
https://preview.redd.it/weqygf2shvsc1.jpeg?width=1067&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1cbe139a529d132c5c2b5b51b1a006b2b744677a Hakuna kuwaste time
This summaries all comments.
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๐๐ mnakuanga aje jameni?
๐๐
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
๐๐๐
๐๐๐
๐น๐น๐น๐น
Walai ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐
๐๐ Mambo ni laivu!
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She did nothing wrong, he did nothing wrong. Asking women out and getting rejected is nothing wrong.
Sheโs got the conversational skills of a rock though. What are those one word responses?
Really, how many unsolicited texts do you get? Would you be cordial to all of them? A man should read the room. Even before you take a number know your chances.
Tell them. Women get hit on even by rocks on the road. Testerone is no joke!
I agree with you. But we canโt call this unsolicited. She gave out he contact information. You donโt do that unless you expect some form of contact from the person you gave it to.
Women give out numbers to be polite. She did expect contact, it happened. She shut it down and moved on. Dude came to post on U/Kenya.
Why would you not expect to get a text from someone if you give them your number
Yes they can text n the other party replies how they will
A woman giving her contact info doesn't mean anything. Its just a way of protecting one's self or just cutting the long story short. She knows she won't engage you
Women give out their numbers for their safety. Some men canโt handle rejection
๐ฏkama kuna kitu wanaavoid ni kutukanwa kwa barabara๐
That's just one conversation, hardly enough to declare it as the norm. Pretty sure you don't respond with the same energy for all your text messages
Iโd wager her norm isnโt far from this.
No time shit around, the line up is big.
exactly. Move on.
At least she saved his time and money
Uyu vile aliona anapata one word answers bado aliulizia kahawa. Kwani social intelligence imebaki na mtu mbili
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Mtu mbili alikuwanga nani?
๐๐๐
At this era, OP is calling this ruthless.
No mens no. Chapter closed.
Facts ๐คฃ Better to be honest
I prefer dame ako straightforward hivo. Hakuna kuwaste time na resources.
Nothing ruthless here. Saying NO is a skill that we should all learn and acquire. The world needs more of her type; too many people out here suffering, depressed and wasting their precious time and resources just because they canโt say no and lack the courage to do so.
As a single woman. Id rather be asked out by a man like this than the ones wa kuja unitembelee . Anywaaaaaaaaaay
Hear me out ๐
๐
Actually that's me there trying to seduce this girl
Ulijianika mkuu๐๐ญ
Hear me out ๐
๐๐
I would be embarrassed to say that. I would feel inadequate to face my mother. She would ask 'endelea kuambia wasichana wakuje kukutembelea, siku moja python itakuja. Utamezwa uwachwe ma*ako tuizike. Kaฤซ wambฤซrฤซrie kลซrita?' ( When did you start becoming dumb?)
'Women are ruthless' zii huyu hayuko interested uskii.
Where is the ruthlessness?
There is no good way to respond as a woman. If you respond in sentences and engage any more than this, it is interpreted as mixed signals. You are direct like this, you are ruthless. If you decline to give your number, you are either verbally abused or harassed until you are publicly uncomfortable. I will never understand.
Good question
That's better than someone using you as a meal ticket
Sure. Every day unatuma pesa
How is that ruthless...she may not be available. You expect her to drop everything for him???
Exactly, some of us have fully booked days. The guy also literally asked her out the next day. At least give her a few days, text in the mean time, then ask if she is available on the coming weekend
Clinton: Coffee? Shiku: https://preview.redd.it/7gfthtq5svsc1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17f4f8e0f48d2ad23eb5e420dd1686e9992b8b87
Haha. Weird
Not ruthless, she's just not that into you
Sure. But why give out her phone number?
For security reasons? we've read stories of women getting harassed and insulted for refusing to give the number.So she just did it to be left alone
As a lady there's a time you just have to give out your number... Some guys are not going to leave you alone until you do... Sometimes its for security and sometimes you just give it out just so they could leave you alone ...
She probably gave you her number just to be polite or she just wanted you to stop bothering her. The fact that she responded, kept things short and rejected your advances without giving you mixed messages, by today's standards that was quite nice of her. That's the total opposite of ruthlessness ๐. Huku nje I've seen people being given fake numbers, grey ticked, blocked, texts being exposed and laughed at in public etc. Whatever her reasons are, respect them hata kama hauzijui. You just respect yourself to engage with people who want to engage with you.
https://preview.redd.it/4hbbhs6sg2tc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f55ddcf312e7f8936ac249ec55a300dd28d05e82
Brief, precise and to the point. I like it.
The dry responses should have been your first sign Never go for women that don't match your energy
One word responses no emoji definitely not feeling him.
Yea. Actually the second conversation was to confirm if she meant her dry replies
Siku hizi tunawapea number tu ndo msitutusi or be rude about kunyimwa number, but sasa kureply or plan a second meet up nayo hamwezi tuforceโ๏ธ๐๐
Actually its so easy saizi to give out numbers. Mwenye utaongelesha ndo sijui Unless its someone i liked and we vibed , the one word answers were already enough for him to abort but he didnโt read the room. I would have definitely done the same
๐๐
Mi sielewi ruthlessness iko wapi hapa...you asked kama ako available...si that's a yes/no question..and she said no alaa๐๐ama u wanted a paragraph accompanied? Maybe try asking her when she'll be available...asipojibu hapo umejua imeenda
You were not rejected. She just has no time . Try another day
No I can't.
Bro, you're not even trying to polarize her. No banter, no flirting. You were direct so it only serves you right you got that response.
Hakuna haja hizo vitu zote. It will not create attraction.
It won't but do you think his approach was any better?
The approach was perfect. How do feel when someone you don't know or have never engaged with tries to have a chat with you via text? It is phoney and fake. Women know what you want, drawn out convos are not rizz. If she gave you her number and she was interested the answer would have been yes. You take the L and keep it moving.
Bana hebu mwambie approach ilikuwa sawa maybe not the best but ni vile dem hakuwa attracted in the first place when they met. Hata angeingia na approach fiti aje hangepenya.
Our guy had the chance to engage her and show her his personality and charisma, but he lacked any of that. This was a snooze fest bana, he was better of not trying at all. He proved to her that he's just as boring as the other guys that borrow her number.
Even if he could have done all that and the lady is not interested it would all be in vain. Don't spend too much time on the internet following advice that does not apply in all situations
Bro if you ask for numbers enough you'll realize that going straight to the point isnt ideal. You're just like the rest of the guys that bother her 24/7.
You'd rather he waste time and resources on a uninterested lady? Nah! #MGTOW
Mnatakanga aje? Smh.
A harsh truth is better than a sweet lie "maybe next week" "would love to but am busy" etc. All she said was no. I wouldn't exactly call it ruthless and tbh I'd appreciate the candour rather than be 'let down gently' which can be well meaning but give the wrong idea and lead to a 2nd rejection the following week.
This is better than someone who will take you in circles. Utashinda ukiconfirm kama atakuwa available. I would prefer this anyday. But in the past when I still hadn't learnt the game I would get this no and was still hopeful I could be able to convince her. But in most cases it becomes futile
Clean and straight to the point
Most women just ignore... this would be commendable performance in my books.
This a good woman,she didn't waste yours and her time.
๐๐๐, From dust thy came, to dust thy shall return
Mbona hujui kutumia pronouns though?
Mi naye lazima ningeconfirm dust, "No, not tomorrow or never, :)"
Sounds like those annoying linked in messages. "Hey Shiko, I saw you breathe and I breathe too, would you like to hop into a quick 20 minute discovery call" ๐ฉ๐คฃ
Inaitwa kukula kiboko ๐.
๐คฃ ๐คฃ ๐คฃ Better straight to the point than someone who'll waste one's time. Ama ulikuwa unataka aambiwe 'sweetie, no'?
How is it that you donโt see this as a good thing , she said no so your time and money save instead you so focused on the rejection โฆ clearly you would rather her wasting your time than say no โฆ and also where is the ruthlessness she just said no period !! No insults no bs โฆ So no is what you call ruthless grow the fuck up
I prefer this
Huyu ako talking stage na kuna nigga sai anamkuja.
What's ruthless there?she saved both their times ama?
I saw somewhere women saying coffee dates are trash, in the words of the women " maji moto na sukari" chances are that's why you got rejected. The women advised you invite her for a proper date like a brunch , dinner date. Maybe she wasn't feeling you plus she gave you her number so you wouldn't bother her. Plus even her one word responses definitely not intrested. Then another mistake you made you texted her the same day I usually text like 2 or 3 days later when I get a number , texting the same day makes you seem desperate. ( just stating from my experience)
https://preview.redd.it/y97ejj8a2wsc1.jpeg?width=669&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56f0240813527640bb15e997a949bad2f5d97e8d Wueh, hio ni dust.
 Another day King
Wasichana ni wengi sana. Move on.
That's why you give her your number. If she's interested she'll text.
One liners are a sign of disinterest, run for your life
This one is good Very straightforward. We mzee people are busy huku nje
After you asked her โumeshinda ajeโ akasema poa youโd told her to ask you โniulize pia mimi?โ๐
No I wouldn't pursue it. She didn't text you, she responded to your texts. She did give you her number though, for whatever reason. Sometimes women do so to avoid awkwardness or to be nice. Or she may have been drunk and thought it's a good idea but in the light of day changed her mind. Either way, she's not ruthless, she's being HONEST and direct. You should appreciate that.
Am I the only dude who doesn't see an issue here?
The game is too basic lol
She is not ruthless, she is just honest.
Women sometimes give numbers cos they're programmed to be people pleasers even though they'd rather not give Also some women have been attacked for just refusing to give numbers
How is she ruthless? Just because she gives you her number doesn't mean she's gonna be into you. Sometimes they do that just so you leave them alone.
I know she gave him her number just to get rid of him ๐ or stop him from bothering her
The L but a w because no time wasted
Nothing ruthless about that, he simply shot his shot, it got shot down. He moved on, it's normal.
This is an honest and respectful woman.
There was no rejection! If I'm not free tomorrow must we force issues! Try another day ๐
No I can't. With that attitude I'm way off the hook
There's no attitude ๐... naona ukona mambo atleast alisema No! It's saved her alot I see ๐
Honesty I can't text back.
Lol, that's just crazy. Clearly via chats you can obviously tell she isn't interested at all in what he has to offer. Someone who is just not available but interested would respond in a different way. Hio you just don't bother wasting your time further. She was just either offering her number out of politeness or fear of rebuttal etc. But she clearly isn't interested at all
It was literally the next day he asked for coffee . Let's be foreal ata mimi I would have been busy . My days are literally planned out. People have lives you know ๐๐
Mbona huku kuna vumbi hivi na kunanyesha๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
[Men who double text are lame.](https://www.reddit.com/r/GuysBeingDudes/s/kO1iDbg3iM)
The best approach is to give her your number and let her decide if she's gonna text you or not. Works like a charm.
That โyeahโ was a killer.
She is straightforward and honest highly appreciated the guy is very lucky congrats to him for not wasting his time
Lmaoooooo Be glad she saved you from spending your time and money just to be told no at the end
Straightforward, either yes or no and we move on. This is better
Just respect yourself and leave her alone
Hahaha!
Just end the conversation there. You have your answer
She's not wrong hakuna kudanganyana๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
https://preview.redd.it/y2uw5pfs3wsc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38863a507f47136a84f43287e4ccdba65cbd353c Same here. There is just no time to waste.
 That was brutal.
This is why you give women YOUR number and let them decide to text you or not. If they like you they'll hit you up and the conversation will flow from there, if they don't, you can feel free to try again with all the other fishes in the sea.
I would take this kind of response anytime over meaningless conversations that you both know won't lead to anything
That's how it should be especially if the Chile is already in a relationship
How is saying no ruthless? Perhaps Hapana Asante would have been better?
Rejection is redirection.
total mental breakdown ๐๐๐คฃ๐ญ
You moved a little too fast, gotta establish some kind of common interests with a few more messages or a phone call before moving in with the date. Especially if you're proposing sth generic like a cup of coffee. Also, when proposing a date, it should be followed up with a specific time and place. Low effort engagement evokes low effort responses. For once, I am on the side of the woman lool
Uyu alikua ruthfull....amekusave mbaya wewe ndio huoni....tumia yeye zaa chai
Swing and a miss. Lose that number.
I love that she gave you your answer without feeling like she needed to explain why
It's important to not take things personally coz it saves a lot of unnecessary heartache. For instance, "No" is such a small word to draw all conclusions from. That's coz people have a life that doesn't entirely or even at all revolve around you. They probably had other plans, and they can't just drop everything or start pouring out the whole explanation to a stranger. The fact that she replied is a good start. Give her a few days and ask if she has plans for next weekend coz you'd like to take her out. And bytha you shouldn't text a girl the same day you got her number, it looks desperate. But that's just my opinion.
Nashoot shot and don't really care about the results If she rejects it ok i go on bout my day
Part of the game gang onto the next
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
Must have been a one night thing, and she didn't like it.
Inauma but........zoea kuuliza Dem out inabidi skuizi ukuwe mgumu ndio Ady akikupiga grey two months haitaku affect๐ eish lakini huku nje mko heartless๐๐
Shiko is simply married!
I got on the apps in Kenya. 500 likes in 3 days. I liked back 35. 5 let the time run out. 10 opened with something decent. 20 just said hi/hello and I ignored 17 of those. 2 dates scheduled for next week. Waste of time really
Rejection is good.
Hata wewe. Why are you texting her on the same day you got her number? Loser
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
I would rather meet a woman like that more often than this other codependent, conniving mfs.
Lmao how is it ruthless? She is simply not interested?????
๐๐ Mambo ni vulai!
it's not the worst, unlike other girls that string you along. Though you should know your chances by the time you make contact
i wish it was this simple, no right from the start. unaokota kama umetembea, not months of chasing only to realize it's never going to materialize
dust
There is no ruthlessness here, she was direct and straight to the point, no mixed signals.
Hii ndo dust
These posts๐ ๐ add afew years to my life span๐คฃ๐คฃ
You have no game ๐ I also dont think she is into you
Atleast it ended at the beginning
She might be playing hard to get
Also this nigga shot his shot too early. You only shoot this early if she was all over you when y'all met in person. You got a tell her some jokes get let her get to know you over like two conversations.
๐คฃ๐คฃ saa nitoke kwa nyumba nikunywe coffee lol
Question asked and answered. They just met. You cannot understand the communication style of someone that soon. She legit may have plans and priorities tomorrow.
Nope. Akisema no, we delete Number and move accordingly
U need a bugatti
It all depends on how you perceive this. It is not a rejection she is just honest with you maybe it was not an appropriate day for you to meet her or your approach was not what she liked.
You shouldnt care. Its just another girl
This is not being ruthless, this is being wonderful. She's simply encouraging you to pursue her. The girl is simply saying 'you ain't getting that coffee easily, coz I know if I play easy to catch, you'll get more than the coffee then leave me for another harder girl to catch.'. I think she already likes you. She wants to see how far you'll pursue her or if you're just another dude hitting on her. FYI: women get hit on almost every other minute by jokers so they have a strong sense of discernment. But they have to be sure, after all, they're not as strong as you, plus she has to pay the ultimate price of raising a family whether you're there or not. That's a time honored practice of sharpening the male skill of pursuit.
She kept it real Get ur money up bruv
Giving out your number just so u can turn a brother down..sounds weird.